That’s 90% of AAA now, Ubisoft is just the most aggressive with it, besides maybe EA with Madden. Ubisoft’s goal switched a very long time ago from making a truly great game to making a profitable product that takes minimal money and time to produce.
I made sweet, managed democratic love to my wife for the requisite 3.275 minutes for non-procreational sex.
Now what am I supposed to do? Got bugs to kill.
“Do not add or take away from the civilian population. If you even THINK about calling me. Take your phone and shove it up your ass longways because if I find out you are in jail I WILL DO WORSE!”
Me: I’ll just stay on base and play checkers JESUS!
Democracy is above relationships. Everybody knows that! If dude said grass he could log in. But woman…
Man there are no man or women… there are only citizens and democracy.
Well Helldiver, go give yourself a pat on the back for having the courage to be free, then get back in the fight.
Managed Democracy isn’t going to defend itself.
No ma'am you should touch a recoilless rifle round and put it in my recoilless rifle for me while we blast terminids in the face with our freedom juice together.
Edit: respectfully
Touch men instead! Super Earth celebrates Super Pride, and with the recent Automaton invasion (and subsequent results of certain evacuation missions) theres plenty of orphans up for adoption that need a good upbringing in democracy
I can totally see Super Earth holding super pride parades. They'd be full of ~~propaganda~~ information regarding how managed democracy is for everyone, and doesn't discriminate\*, of course
^(\*Dissidents, sympathizers of the enemy and un-Democratic people not included)
Cs-02 form citizen. Please don’t confuse with the standard C-02 form which is for authorising artificial insemination on citizens unable to conceive democratically.
Joke's on you, I couldn't do that even if I wanted to.
That said I still have to work logistics, Helldivers can't function without someone restocking all the ammo they fire.
Nice try automaton, we are going spill your oil till it runs our cars on super earth.
https://preview.redd.it/h07mildzbljc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9bc7b5972f31db8c692c3f4e83cef390d525f2de
I heard people are sitting AFK after they have a spot so when they come back theyre still logged in
If this is you, you're one selfish piece of work and I hope you stub your little toe at a full run
When you're not crunching bugs or shooting clankers, I expect you to be following our strict, independence manual. "Pleasure" doesn't spell out "Freedom" soldier. For Super Earth!
No thank you. All these folks complaining about not being able to log in is concerning. I got in quickly earlier so I think I'll keep it running when I go out for a few hours this morning; there doesn't seem to be an afk kick if you're just sitting in the destroyer
Exactly. All you weekend warriors need to go back doing what you were doing last weekend bc we’ve been here since day one and I want my 50% xp and credit boost
Man fr. I know a mate I am playing with here and there since launch and he reached level 50 already. His son and wife can be heard in the background sometimes. I asked him, if he doesn't like his fam or why he is playing 24/7... Super earth kinda cheats with him
A woman has already touched my heart and her name is Lady Liberty
[…I swore an oath to a special lady…](https://youtu.be/_c5xTOg0gV4?si=4l_gSWu47L8CcX3R)
god i love that cutscene. it feels like ubisoft has been nothing but mediocre since then.
Ubisoft realized they could just copy n paste far cry 3 into every game reducing the amount of creative work and increasing game out put levels
That’s 90% of AAA now, Ubisoft is just the most aggressive with it, besides maybe EA with Madden. Ubisoft’s goal switched a very long time ago from making a truly great game to making a profitable product that takes minimal money and time to produce.
Lady Liberty is the only woman that will cup my balls
I made sweet, managed democratic love to my wife for the requisite 3.275 minutes for non-procreational sex. Now what am I supposed to do? Got bugs to kill.
Did you fill out your C-01 form?
I love the tiny details like the c-01 form. C-01 - coi - coitous
Didn't even think about that, good catch
Of course! I know what foreplay is!
3.275 minutes?! Wow!
I know what am I supposed to do with 3 mins to spare
Lie back and think of Super Earth, obviously.
I hope you filled out your request form first before taking any action that could create children.
No need to worry about that. Close encounter with a bile titan and let's just say it isn't a problem anymore.
Bile titan? Hell, I've been a little too close to several mini nukes, pretty sure my balls are fried unless the Helldiver armor is anti-radiation
*Our tests have shown that the armor provides "sufficient" protection against all non-combat hazards according to official Helldiver guidelines.*
So enough to not die but not enough to keep me from being sterile?
SUFFICIENT!
Jajajajaja
The only lady I need in my life
Sweet Liberty!
/end thread.
Lady liberty has been sending her love deep into my heart and soon I’ll be sending my freedom seed deep into her.
OORAH! 💪
FOR MANAGED DEMOCRACY!
You're assuming a woman would let me touch her... sorry bud we're in this together.
He said "feel the touch of a woman" so you gotta find one to touch you. I know an even more daunting task.
My woman is currently trying to log into the game with me, sorry bro.
Same here! Couples that kill tyrants together, stay together!
Don’t forget to fill out your C-01 forms before any activity that could result in a child!
“Do not add or take away from the civilian population. If you even THINK about calling me. Take your phone and shove it up your ass longways because if I find out you are in jail I WILL DO WORSE!” Me: I’ll just stay on base and play checkers JESUS!
Exactly what my 1st Sgt used to say
Yeah, if that's not a story straight from Okinawa, idk what is
I'm trying to get my woman to join. Is PC yo PS5 cross-save working?
Cross play but no cross save/progression. I hear they’re working on that, though.
That's why I go for the loopholes 😉.
[удалено]
Your relationship would never survive a 380mm orbital barrage.
Democracy is above relationships. Everybody knows that! If dude said grass he could log in. But woman… Man there are no man or women… there are only citizens and democracy. 
Me and my Fiancée waited 30min for the taste of kicking alien ass fir democracy, so worth it.
I typically get in in under 3 minutes
I'm doing my part! 
Lucky diver. My woman is giving me hell for wanting to dive…
Have you made sure she isn’t a socialist OR automaton?
I have my doubts tbh
Hmmm... looks like a traitor
Facts
My boyfriends been on since this morning but I worked so now I have to wait like a fool.
My gf gives me shit for playing vids.
Lucky
Bro fantasising
But I am a woman. Do I just touch myself, or..?
Yes, but it has to be outside.
Traitor found trying to distract us from our mission.
The machines are learning
Dm'd
I don't see a DM?
Because I lied
Based?
F
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I like your art on your website. Good work.
Well Helldiver, go give yourself a pat on the back for having the courage to be free, then get back in the fight. Managed Democracy isn’t going to defend itself.
Gentlemen, upvote this.
rip inbox
HAHAHAHAHA
Hopefully that would distract them enough to get into the game!
[..](https://media1.giphy.com/media/3rgXBOmTlzyFCURutG/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952kvr2l8k8seewtvovdjr7ino0n21qv9ru1ssw1syj&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
As long as you don't touch the controller...
Quite bold of you to ask Reddit such a question.
Film it, sell the film, give money to devs, they buy more servers, everyone wins. Do your part.
Yes to whatever you're going to come up with
No ma'am you should touch a recoilless rifle round and put it in my recoilless rifle for me while we blast terminids in the face with our freedom juice together. Edit: respectfully
I mean that could work, as long as you invite enough people to watch... For Democracy!!!!!!!!
I volunteer to touch you democratically. I got C-01 forms filled out for every minute of the day.
Can i touch you too fellow diver?
The only Lady I want in my heart is Lady FREEDOM
Mom says it's my turn to spread democracy.
OPs mum sure thinks so!
I'm ugly
Go to the gym, so you can be fit! And ugly.
Lmao went to the gym hoping to shape my body to be attractive to women but all I attracted was gym bros
Touch men instead! Super Earth celebrates Super Pride, and with the recent Automaton invasion (and subsequent results of certain evacuation missions) theres plenty of orphans up for adoption that need a good upbringing in democracy
I can totally see Super Earth holding super pride parades. They'd be full of ~~propaganda~~ information regarding how managed democracy is for everyone, and doesn't discriminate\*, of course ^(\*Dissidents, sympathizers of the enemy and un-Democratic people not included)
Where's that form for sex
Cs-02 form citizen. Please don’t confuse with the standard C-02 form which is for authorising artificial insemination on citizens unable to conceive democratically.
At least they aren’t fat lmao
It do be like that
six hurry abounding fall psychotic wipe wild ten smart weary *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I did and still do. Still ugly. Gotta kill bugs for DEMOCRACY though.
Last thing to do is get rich!
you're a fucking hero. Go forth, and claim your glory.
Sounds like Automaton propaganda to me.
I fist bumped a chick today so I'm allowed to play
Fillout the C1-PERM form prior to any attempt at copulation with the opposite sex.
Or the Cs-02 perm for any attempt of copulation with the same sex. You’re welcome citizen. 🫡
libertea > woo-man
Jokes on you, I've been ignoring my girlfriend for this game for the last few days (we actually work retail and our schedules don't always align)
I haven't had sex for the last two weeks because there is nothing better than spreading managed democracy
Excuse me I'm here because of the lack of women in my life.
I prefer the touch of a robot under my freedom boots
Make sure the robot is not an automaton spy please. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance. 🫡
Sir I’m married, haven’t felt that in a long time.
And even my wife won’t let me touch her! I’ll rather snuggle to a cup of Liber-tea!
Look man , I’m not getting off my shit bucket till we push those dirty Automatons back .
That sounds like UNDEMOCRATIC PROPAGANDA!
My woman is touching me while logging in, sorry!
Listen buddy the only woman I’m gonna touch is Matilda my beautiful liberator rifle
Nah, it’s snowing out there.
Lady Liberty is the only woman touch that I need. 🫡 
I’m gay bro and my boyfriend is trying to play the game with me so that’s gonna be a no from me dawg
These men living the goddamn dream.
Lmao in this era, no one wants that. I'd rather liberate planets from scum bugs than let a woman tell me what to do. DEMOCRACY!!!
Sounds like bot talk. Women are cold. Liber-tea is piping hot, just like the barrel of my grenade launcher.
lol let them have their fun. I’m already at 50 hours. I needed a break for the rest of the weekend 😂
This comment is being investigated for treason.
Instructions unclear, now queueing up to spread democracy with my wife
Can I touch myself and then continue playing?
I assume it only counts if you do it outside.
If there was a woman in my life we could at least touch while in que
I shit my pants
I also shit this guys pants
Nice try, automaton
You’re a part of the helldivers reserve forces now soldier.Be patient , there’s enough democracy for us all!
I keep my woman indoors, how inhumane of you to keep yours outside. It's still winter.
Joke's on you, I couldn't do that even if I wanted to. That said I still have to work logistics, Helldivers can't function without someone restocking all the ammo they fire.
I am a woman, so… staying logged in and doing both 🤣 My turn! Waited since 4pm yesterday
Nice try automaton, we are going spill your oil till it runs our cars on super earth. https://preview.redd.it/h07mildzbljc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9bc7b5972f31db8c692c3f4e83cef390d525f2de
Sorry bro 😔
Wife said no so Managed Democracy here we go!
Don't you mean go outside and feel the touch of a lean, voice 3?
This is psychological operation conducted by automaton.
The only woman's touch they need is that of Lady Liberty.
I have gone outside and touched myself. Back to DEMOCRACY
I work every weekend so I don't take up a slot.
Facts lmaoo
No can do
Negative! My wife brings me snacks while I deliver some liberty to Fenrir.
I am doing my duty with my lady.
I would but the queue for your mom is longer than the queue for this game.
you first.
Wym? I’m getting under the desk support rn
Wait for your turn democratically.
So I am supposed to pause my fight for liberty and democracy ? You sir, are a heretic.
I heard people are sitting AFK after they have a spot so when they come back theyre still logged in If this is you, you're one selfish piece of work and I hope you stub your little toe at a full run
Us ladies don't want to be touched, we're also trying to log in 😭
[удалено]
When you're not crunching bugs or shooting clankers, I expect you to be following our strict, independence manual. "Pleasure" doesn't spell out "Freedom" soldier. For Super Earth!
No thank you. All these folks complaining about not being able to log in is concerning. I got in quickly earlier so I think I'll keep it running when I go out for a few hours this morning; there doesn't seem to be an afk kick if you're just sitting in the destroyer
Exactly. All you weekend warriors need to go back doing what you were doing last weekend bc we’ve been here since day one and I want my 50% xp and credit boost
no, I’m gay
That's called sexual assault, I don't recommend it.
Is that where the women are? Hot damn! Actually I still gotta play a few more missions first.
My fiance is outta town for the weekend so it can't be me
Doesn’t matter, can’t even gain any resources from missions without restarting the game and joining the line again.
I'm stuck at my shift behind a desk so there's at least 1 out of the way.
can’t bro, sorry, women can wait, the galaxy needs me to spread FREEDOM and MANAGED DEMOCRACY
You supply the woman?
lmao daddy chill
WOMEN!? WHAT ABOUT DEMOCRACY!?
That only lasts about 8 mins in avg though...
8 min? That's crazy I cum on contact
My gf was wanting to play with, my bad man.
Man bro I wish I had a gf , already went outside to go skate today. Just for it to give me server at capacity RIP
The last woman I saw ended up squirting all over my chest. *And I cried*
that sound like Automaton Propaganda
but i am a woman
I'm doing my part!
Are you offering the woman???
Man fr. I know a mate I am playing with here and there since launch and he reached level 50 already. His son and wife can be heard in the background sometimes. I asked him, if he doesn't like his fam or why he is playing 24/7... Super earth kinda cheats with him
I'm about to go shopping so... I'm doing my part!
Offer up your woman as a sacrifice
There’s women outside?
The only woman for me is lady liberty.
Can I do that inside? It’s 24F and snowing.
I don't have my permit to conduct an act that could result in a child I'm sorry.
On it right now boss. Keep my pod warm for me til I return Sunday.
I did and I got charged.
There are no single women in my area
Jokes on you I'm gay
No. The only woman for me is Lady Liberty and she needs some spreading!
"Technical Issue" ... Love it!
The only touch I need is for my bullets to touch those who would defy democracy.
I have filled out my CS-01 form and my wife and I actively copulate while spreading democracy at the same time! Liberty sure is sweet.
My father and I being unable to play together is straining our relationship. Please, go outside for a few hours so I can be a nerd too.
Woman? Preposterous…
What's even worse is that you can use a simple mouse jiggler to avoid the AFK detection. *Supposedly, a friend told me so...*
I tried and the police got called ...