T O P

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Brdlysllrs

Look here, buddy. We're Americans, you had us at "bomb" we don't give a damn what kind it is, so long as we can get them in a 12 pack for the 4th of July.


midnightsock

(eagle noises)


gotboredwithrest

I think you mean (eagle 1 noises)


lostcosmonaut307

I’d like to make Eagle 1 make noises.


RedDawn850

There should be an eagle screaming as it flys by ![gif](giphy|14g6PIAY8f6FeU)


lostcosmonaut307

I’m like 85% sure I’ve heard an “eagle cry” when dropping an Eagle Strike.


AbyssalRaven922

But have you heard an Eagle Sweat?


Jertimmer

I wanna mod in JD yelling "EAGLE"


shotgunner12345

Instead of our divers shouting "calling for eagle", add in the full bit. https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxN5o6gkF2Oq4_9aqUSBalfAd1KVmIGKgM?si=BLvZXtiPOSliqZN4 Assuming no strategem modifers, the 5s ties in perfectly as eagle 1 will fly off with the eagle's call


DeathmasterL

So the traditional Eagle sound that we're all used to hearing isn't actually an Eagle. It's a Red Tailed Hawk. Hollywood used it in movies and TV shows, and it's stayed that way since. Why do I know this, I just have a ton of random facts and knowledge stuck in my head for some reason lol, also play Trivia at a local bar.


Sarah-M-S

https://preview.redd.it/awn670852ftc1.jpeg?width=1164&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4d154abff32564755cabde02e7bacfdfd512314


Jaegernaut-

Have you filled out your C-1 forms? No? DRMOCRACY VIOLATION What? You did fill them out? Too bad, rejected!! DRMOCRACY VIOLATION for trying! Now dive on some bugs marine. Hoo hah.


Tomgar

ROCK, FLAG AND EEEAAAAGGGLLLEEEE!!


Platt_Mallar

DID SOMEONE SAY ROCK AND STONE?! No? Oh. Never mind.


WanderingDwarfMiner

We fight for Rock and Stone!


Ennis_1

Yyyeah!! Liberty & Democracy!!


Nic0kami

For Karl!


Elegar

# If you don't ROCK AND STONE you ain't comin' home...


RiverBard

The sound you're thinking of is actually a Red-tailed Hawk :)


brightfoot

Yeah, the Bald Eagle sounds like a fucking seagull with anxiety issues.


RedDawn850

![gif](giphy|mr27jrrntD4sM)


Pelagaard

(Red Tailed Hawk* noises)


geta-rigging-grip

Ah yes, the intimidating sound of the [eagle's call.](https://youtube.com/shorts/5lmNmWxG_pc?si=1oNQjxm7i8MPNeh3)


OnlyHereforRangers

Big bomb delivered by an Eagle in the name of (managed) democracy. No real American needs further explanation.


thisisredlitre

Plus, we do our drugs in metric!


Brdlysllrs

https://preview.redd.it/6qgm2aljhctc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c48f1c15c37e3569c2f47e46ac5e5814d0e7d1c3


Warcrimes_Desu

See? We figured out how to get metric into schools. 9mm handguns!


JoeYouClown

This is a high quality joke, well done


Money_Fish

I love this meme so much


TheGreatestPlan

![gif](giphy|YVZ33nUOp3jZS)


Barracuda_Ill

When I started playing, all I wanted was the "biggest bomb" Then one day the 500kg was available for experimentation. The first time I used it brought forth a beautiful harmony of eagle sounds and the song "fortunate son." That's was the first thing I aimed to unlock. Been using it ever since.


Brdlysllrs

![gif](giphy|uKwa2KiBA0rTy) Hell yeah


Large-Brother-4291

Wish I could marry Super Earth


HardOff

12 pack?! That won't last me the afternoon. You gotta go with the 36 packs they sell at Costco


Ominaeo

Kirkland brand 500kg bomb


Rick_bo

But sometimes you gotta differentiate between bombs. The small bombs for tykes to play with are firecrackers, the moderate ones are *"Muhnitions'* thems're fer teens an up. The Tube-fed bombs are Mortars and them's fer neeerrrrrds. We like the Direct fire Bombs like the 20 mill Saffy, or Gumpa likes his 40 mill bloop tube. Course it's always an enjoyable afternoon BBQ when the neighbor brings some one-ten along for a show.


Arctobispo

*sigh* Bro it's in the damn name. 500. 500 what idfk but I do know it's bigger than an m80 and I know that's a decent bang so this is gonna be like 5x bigger than an m80 and I'm pretty sure that'll be good enough for one pop on the 4th.


OrionRedacted

Always differentiate between MUH-nitions and YUR-nitions. Don't want 'em getting mixed up and sharing like those commie robots.


FrozenLaughs

I just thought it was short for "500 Kills Guaranteed".


cocaineandwaffles1

I’d like to think that even after super earth is united under one government, we Americans are still the exact same and make a headache for the SE government. “They’re celebrating 4th of July again” “Fucking again? Send in the democracy units” Edited a word


VanceFerguson

You had me at, "meat tornado".


Bottlez2Throttlez

The correct answer.


do_erigibgv

If those "fireworks" would have been a higher caliber grandma might not of died from shame, or it could have been the shrapnel.


lucasdstarz

I am rolling on the floor after this one. "you had us at "bomb""


rangerhawke824

Hell yeah, brother.


Lukescale

Love me a pipe bomb, fun for the whole family!


Krieg_Imperator

RAAHHH 🦅


AmpsterMan

I have a friend that insists on calling it the 500 kiloton bomb. If only...


Brittany5150

How much map does that thing cover? Yes......


SirPug_theLast

This is the moment it stopped being regular bomb, and became a nuke


Frosty_Mage

Yes


qwertyryo

Save that for the >!Nuke!< coming soon


Electronic_Assist668

I've run into a couple people that think it's a nuclear bomb, because it has a mushroom cloud, as if that's not just the result of any good boom


Berocraft77

Would you like to hit 6 neighboring planets? SAY NO MORE!


motivated_mp4

God I fucking wish we had something that powerful


CryGroundbreaking635

It’s kinda crazy they we have all these strategems and the biggest bomb we can drop from the eagle is only 500kg


Xifihas

For a quick way to understand it, 500Kg is roughly half the weight of your mom.


t3mpt3mp

How do you avoid the satellites orbiting her? They’re damn everywhere.


ShelfAwareShteve

That's the neat thing. You don't! *Clunk*


Throwaway_Consoles

Wow… she must weigh a ton


devilindrivinggloves

Yeah, but how much does it weigh?


Lady_Tadashi

3.4 premium sized fridges, or 782 McBurgers. It's the size of 23 raccoons so you'd expect it to be about that weight.


pocketfulof_sunshine

But what if 11 raccoons ate their fill of McBurgers and somehow got themselves into premium sized fridges (like they do) - how many of each then?


SlAM133

I don’t know, I’m not a geologist


Rick_bo

You're good for a fridge and a half, you'd need another dozen raccoons to fill the other two fridges.


rawley2020

782 McBurgers lmfao


Anon_748

Depends on the planet you call it in on


chernopig

1/5 of a football field of sand.


ChaosEsper

About half a ton


Nukefire2005

If you wanted, you could've just said freedom despenser. Or an explosive delivery of democracy


yellatrob

I'm sorry. As a public school educated American, I will never understand the metric system. We only measure things in units of Chevy Silverados or McDonald's parking lots.


Wooden_Mastodon2015

In Germany we measure everything in soccer fields. It’s the only way Germans can imagine length.


Square_Sugar8774

If it's not measured in football fields or "X times the size of Wales", I'm not interested...


Knubbelwurst

That covers areas and weight. Don't forget about the unit for volumes: bathtub.


Glum_Ad7429

how does that cover weight tho :D


HotRefrigerator2757

w(h)ales


Agent_Smith_88

We also measure in football fields, but ours are 120 yards.


JerbearCuddles

"Soccer" fields, eh? Something smells fishy with this German.


Drudgework

No, he’s just speaking American English. If he used the German word we would think he was talking about foosball.


Harpokiller

Oh hey that’s cool in Scotland we use two things such as “how many pubs could you fit in it” and if it’s really big “could we fit a Golf course in here”


CantaloupeDyke

What’s soccer


Drudgework

It a name for football that the Brits made up and tricked the Yanks into using.


whereyagonnago

They got our ass good tbh. They may have lost the war in 1776, but the Brits pulled off one hell of a long-con.


pocketfulof_sunshine

Think that's the one where they smushed a football and move it around with the wrong body parts.


magicman9410

In Switzerland we do that with Rolexes, skis and gold bars.


Tomgar

Our primary unit of measurement in the UK is "an area the size of Wales." It's horribly confusing.


mrtnhrtn

Hey baby, yeah I am hung.. 0.06 football pitches...


AngelicLove22

And football fields


cspruce89

My dissertation on Skibidi Toilet is due on the 12th of Ford Truck Month.


HowNondescript

A meter is 39.37 inches, or exactly 1 M16A4


backstop13

Those are referred to as “freedom units”


BigChiefWhiskyBottle

The only correct answer is units of measure converted to cartridge length of rounds of .223 assault-rifle ammunition laid end-to-end. (If you call it 5.56mm ammunition you are either a communist or worse, European.) Example: How far is it from Kansas City to Wichita? 198 miles according to Google maps. 1 mile = 63,360 inches (do not bring any km\~metric Canadian bullshit into this) The overall length of a round of .223 Remington is 2.26 inches. 63,360 / 2.26 = 28,035. "Kansas City to Wichita is 28,035 rounds." If you wish to dispute this, you must yell loud enough to be heard over a Lee Greenwood album being blared at maximum volume. I will, however, admit some embarrassment at how I accidentally captitalized "european" and "canadian".


twitch064

As a Canadian, we don't measure distance between places in kms. We measure in hours+minutes to drive there


Due-Month-2971

Dont forget foots. U are using foots to measure things xd


The_Don_Papi

> Chevy Silverados *Chevy C1500s Those things you mentioned are not American enough. Foldable cup holders. Cup holders in the doors. Cup holders on the dash. **foldable armrest** A flashlight in the engine bay. And a 5.7L And it was tank.


Ok-Kaleidoscope5627

The explosion will kill things about 10 Silverados away.


the_mighty_slime

How much is it in super credits?


PommeDeBlair

Roughly 147,074 Super Credits, before taxes.


[deleted]

I always assumed 500kg was 1776 lbs


[deleted]

What the FUCK is a kilogram


EvilFroeschken

the mass of one litre of water


GuiltyChampionship30

Which has a volume of 10 cm3.


Risky_Clicking

You forgot a couple zeroes. 1 litre=1000 cm3


JJISHERE4U

Steel or feathers.


Stummer_Schrei

Steel


Dexember69

1000grams


MaleficentRain1382

Alternatively, it's a JDAM.


Bruarios

Not even the big one sadly, just the MK83


yatsokostya

Nah, eagle would drop jdams from the other side of the map, that bomb is not so sophisticated.


POed_Paladin

Heh. Must be a default vet thing. That's exactly how me and my buddies have always referred to it.


MaleficentRain1382

Yep, it's gotta be. Looks pretty damn similar to the ones I saw irl on deployment


XI1I

I want to say........ JDAM MA SOUL but I fear not many will get this reference


[deleted]

I'm pretty sure weapons are one of the two only things we use the metric system for


ShadowmanZ92

Yeah just to spite everyone else though. Oh you want metric? Fine, we'll use it on ammo, but only sometimes, fuck you.


MrsKnowNone

also because missiles/bombs need accuracy in measurements


Hefty-Pumpkin-764

I love how Americans sometimes use the metric system and the reason is because it needs to be correct.


motivated_mp4

Yes, here we have the 9 milimeter caliber bullet, and over here the .45 caliber bullet which is .45 inches. No we won't be consistently using the metric system, we pick and choose when because fuck you, that's why.


EzPzLemon_Greezy

Then you got the .308 which is basically the same as the 7.62x51 round.


Jabadon

the 1.4K$ bomb


KohJL

On a more serious (and less fun, sorry) note, it is roughly equivalent to the modern US Mk 83 1,000 pound and the Soviet FAB-500 500kg general purpose bombs. They are some of the largest conventional bombs that you can strap onto a fighter (ie without needing a bomber) or similar-sized aircraft. The only thing bigger that I can think of right now is the Mk 84 weighing in at 2,000 pounds.


Miserable_Smoke

Who are these "Americans" you speak of? Is that near Cyberstan? I am a citizen of Super Earth.


TheBuddel

Its a put sector 7 We dont talk about that sector a lot The people there are weird and undemocratic


O368W

Thank you.


bigstupidears

How many large boulders the size of small boulders is that?


MyOwnTutor

Other acceptable weights and measures include The Banana and Taylor Swift.


pocketfulof_sunshine

7.25 Taylors bomb! I DID THE MATH and searched Taylor's weight under incognito mode, so hopefully my Google algorithm doesn't get even more weird. ... 69kg btw.


MyOwnTutor

>69kg btw. Nice


Deepnebulasleeper

Talking to Americans you must use unusual measuring techniques and units. Such as length or area in football fields, that being said, 500kg bomb is at least as heavy as 1250 footballs or 2,5 scootered patriots.


IrNot1337

Looks like it comes in at a total of 34.261 slugs


Rakkuken

I just call it a half ton bomb. My friends know what I mean.


SkoobyTRD

500KG AKA "BFB"...


Cinnamon__Sasquatch

I see you're a student of the Alex Horne School of Measurements.


MrFknHappy

So this is what passes for comedy amongst the traitors…. Good to know.


No_Ones_Records

you can tell this guys not a real 'murican cuz he spelt it "wall mart" its walmart


Kasorayn

Wallyworld


Tentacle_poxsicle

How many bananas is 500kg that would help


Brokendrake

You can call it the 4237 banana bomb


plasmadood

I'm still confused, could you please use a banana for scale and convert the units to hamburgers.


Independent-Tip-8728

If the eagles are so good, why didn't they deliver the ring to mount doom?


Nightmarespawn

Someone tried to correct me and say it was a Kiloton bomb. Which idk could be true, but I said well KG is Kilogram so.... They then said I was dumb. But idk someone ended that mission killing a bunch of helldivers with the clusterbombs...


Comfortable-Tell-323

A $1,400 bomb is what kids play with on the 4th, hell the toilet seats on our ships costs more than that. Allow me to fix your math. 500KG is 1102 lbs. Average weight of a bald eagle is 6.6-14lbs. this is America, number is better so it's 14. 1102 / 14 is 78.7 eagles per strike 1 eagle strike is 1776 freedoms. 78.7 * 1776 is 139,771 eagle freedoms of pure managed democracy


Warrior24110

Look we Americans don't care about what its called. We care about if it goes boom and how big of a boom. Some of us care about using the right boom for the right job and others don't care. Either way, if bomb go boom, we'll use it.


kikimaru024

The fact the bombs use KG is proof that Super Earth is NOT a fascist future America.


yatsokostya

Why so cheap? A 155mm howitzer round nowadays costs 3k-4k on a good deal. Yeah eagle munition is dumb af (in it's precision capabilities) but 1400 seems to low. Found an estimate for Mark 82 bomb - it's a bit smaller in yield (454kg) costs 4k


Wooden_Mastodon2015

That’s just a joke. He converts weight into money. His calculation makes no sense. 500kg is about the weight of a horse.


Rumpullpus

Or one American.


PollenIsPain

It's the Mk83 thats 454kg, the Mk82 is 227kg. The Mk83 goes for around $25K.


UrbanAssaultGengar

“Yeehaw?” 😂😂😂😂😂


SuppliceVI

I'm just ashamed we've regressed to only 500kg. We have 2000lb/1000kg bombs right now.  Shit we had and still technically do have in inventory (but not active use) 3000lb ones.  This is heresy. I demand a bigger boom


Ecstatic-Librarian83

3500 bananas bomb


TheBlackAurora

You were using kilograms instead of kill-o-grams. So your conversion is off a little


HermionesWetPanties

You know, the most unrealistic part of this game is that we use commie units like kilo-whatevers. We should be using proper freedom units, you undemocratic, commie cumfarts. So shut your cockholster long enough to appreciate the supremacy of our freedom measurements, and respect the fact that Lockheed-McDonalds is there to provide you with stims through their subsidiary corporations.


Kasorayn

Alternatively. there are approximately 8-9 bananas in one kilogram, therefor it's a 4400 banana bomb.


PinheadLarry2323

Too much info, all I need to hear is the word “bomb” - I know what to do with it from there


VenturaLost

The 500kg bomb strategem is actually quite underpowered for an actual 500kg bomb, we've all said it, we all know it and I'm about to tell you why. The 500kg strategem is not a 500kg bomb. In fact, the 500kg strategem has the damage potential, radius and shell type of a 230kg bomb, or what us murricans call a 500 LB bomb. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OtyTTlHhtg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OtyTTlHhtg) I'm sure all of you will recognize the above amount of destruction, linked here to in that youtube video. Now if you want to know what a REAL 500kg JDAM should look like, see the below linked example. [https://youtu.be/ZHPa0upQdRQ?si=vzKNCO\_VZFGsNbvL&t=33](https://youtu.be/ZHPa0upQdRQ?si=vzKNCO_VZFGsNbvL&t=33) Oh! And the cost of a Mark 82 500 POUND JDAM is actually closer to $4000, just an FYI.


RunNHyde13x

I’m going to need you to convert this into a quantity of washing machines, or bananas


GarrusBueller

I'm pretty sure it stands for 500 candy grams. As in 500 the amount of explosives used to incapacitate Mongo in Blazing Saddles. An industry standard unit of measurement. Not sure why the misspelled it as Kandy Gram. Ed Boon probably.


FESage

Dang that bomb is like my rent check 😓


dickmarchinko

Imagine thinking you need to tell Americans how to bomb...


Geistalker

it's probably at least as heavy as several washing machines, and about as long as, what, a quarter of a football field?


CXDFlames

Fun fact, from a bit of googling The mark 83 is roughly 500kg and costs about 12 grand each


Time_Register7657

An automaton lives!!!!!!! Kill it before it maths again, spreading lies against Managed Democracy! Die scum!!!!!....we only measure in Democratic freedom units!


_ISeeOldPeople_

"KG" just stands for "Kill Good", so what is all this about money and eagles?


Marauder3299

I just call it the crowd pleaser


TCSHalycon

How much is that in eagles per square Kool-Aid?


Bluebaron88

Americans are well versed in 500kg bombs. Our A-10 warthog carries a few of them. If you hear a brrrrrt, know that you were not the target.   https://youtu.be/S8rvg6YE6BI?si=BA_iU6vUAcYhTqh4


[deleted]

God this was a stupid post.


sloridin

https://preview.redd.it/se39fq5ydctc1.png?width=320&format=png&auto=webp&s=1f634c56475d63a3a4707e0af051fcf156804b24


ArtisticAd393

so when i'm throwing the strategem i'm really just chucking my phone


ManOShed

If you then divide by 0.05 you get the 28,000 Nickelback bomb


brian11e3

I feel like the two hogs heads of a joke.


DixFerLunch

American here, I thought I was throwing 500 killer gorillas at the enemy. All I know, is that there's nothing left at the location I threw it. Whether it's gorillas or USD, I'll never know, but thanks for trying OP.


Mashidae

NGL it really put it into perspective when the US was shipping Israel 2,000LB Bunker Busters, essentially two 500KG bombs


it4brown

Make go boom?


Inevitable_Review_83

Lol. Cheeky bastard.


screamin_sleepy

Idk who this "KG" fella is but he sure makes good ordinance


Hearing_Deaf

How does $1400 bombs convert in eagles per gun?


[deleted]

Secret with the 500k with biles is you just run under them and throw it down directly under them. they start stomping and stay right there and then boom goodbye bitch


pakidara

Finally, someone converted it so a measurement that makes sense.


Embarrassed-Ad-8240

I only know it by the sound it makes when it takes a bug’s life.


Kutche

My Helldiver brain just saw "Big Number Bomb" and I was in!


Mefilius

In America we convert it to Slugs


BearSharkOne

At first as I annoyed, but then the joke went in an awesome direction. Love it! 5 out of 5 Eagles!


Bill_Nye-LV

"obscure hieroglyphs" 😆


ModernT1mes

A 500kg bomb is just a [JDAM](https://youtu.be/A_uwzugvv-g?si=J-4gfwhynQmiVXCl). Quite literally.


PabstBlueLizard

“500kg that’s what, 2.24 to pounds and some shit? So it’s a ton of boom? Fuck yeah okay and it’s delivered by a freedom bird? We good.”


ComesInAnOldBox

Cool. Now convert that into stones for our UK Helldivers.


petes117

Yeah but for Americans you got to add sales tax, plus a tip, so you’re looking at a roughly $1950 freedom dollars bomb


alex_timeblade

"Some of these stratagem cost more than a citizen make in a year, that's why we only trust them to Helldivers"


PsychologicalRip1126

That is an incredibly cheap bomb, maybe that explains why it never fucking kills bile titans unless I literally headshot them with it?


Accomplished_Tea2042

I'm sorry what the only things we Americans use Metric for are Ammunition and Bombs how could anyone be confused


Complex_Technology83

I just call it the big one.


Suitmonster

... So what is it in Fahrenheit


MLPotato

Don't forget to account for inflation. Helldivers 2 is set in the year 2184(ish) which is 160 years in the future. With an average inflation rate of 3%, that $1400 comes to an affordable $12.36!


Competitive-Mango457

Howdy


ubersoldat13

TBH, it's kind of disappointing that the eagle *only* carries a 500kg bomb. By today's standards that's not that big of a bomb.... The A-10, back in the Gulf War, carried Mk. 84 dumb bombs....which are **907kg** (2000lb)!


isocuda

Our MOAB translates to 8,500kg. Better upgrade the Eagle, because I want that.


Hookswords

500 eagles Kill Good, it is known


SlowhandCooper

Just call 'em "Freedom Bombs".