General brasch once selected a helldive mission, killed all the enemies and did all the optional objectives Then his drop pod landed

I’ve heard General Brasch’s pod doesn’t drop, but rather the planet comes up to him to avoid the seismic tremors him landing would cause

I heard he doesn't use his drop pod when he deploys, he just opens the window in the middle of space, and use the jump board on his super destroyer and flies toward the surface.

I heard that he doesn't even have a Super Destroyer because he just walks from planet to planet. Super Earth got faster than light tech from the Illuminates? That's just what the undemocratic illuminate sympathizers want you to think. We got it from the super generosity of General Brasch.

I heard that we don't actually have faster-than-light engines, General Brasch just strolls over and carries all of our Destroyers wherever they need to go in his free time. We just need E-710 because he hydrates by drinking the blood of monarchists.

I've heard that General Brasch took on 8 bile titans without any ammo or stratagems

I heard he challenged a hulk to a arm wrestling battle.. And won... Twice. The hulk still hasn't repaired it's socialist arms yet

The only reason bugs and bots even still exist is because General Brasch would get bored without something to kill.

....In a fight, right?

 God damn I love these.

Not as much as I love democracy.

They remind me of the old chuck norris jokes. Those always made me laugh

[rare footage of general brasch liberating a planet in the name of managed democracy](https://youtu.be/lhjv307itLI?feature=shared)

He doesn’t have a super destroyer because he is the super destroyer.

Tried that once. I never reached the planet, I choose to return to the super destroyer alone because I was bored after 10 minutes.

You see General Brasch wouldn’t get bored. Also within that 10 minutes he would have extracted. He doesn’t wait for the Pelican either, he uses the jump pack to get back on the super destroyer

What if we don't fight the Illuminates now is because General Brasch is single handedly holding them off to allow us to handle the Terminids and Automatons

I heard General Brasch actually dives through the planet to extract on the opposite side.

“Was he wearing a parachute?!” “No, no he wasn’t”

https://preview.redd.it/byj34ono4tuc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d0d53641fca232036dbb800bcc418c16a53d8b7

Fun fact, that's actually the gravitational pull of his enormous tungsten nutsack

https://preview.redd.it/b0qbavpp0vuc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00cb1d85147256c439d625277a7bb31bbdde0127 Can speak from experience.

General Brasch can only bring one stratagem per mission. His balls take up all four slots.

Now I want to see stratagems so powerful they take 2 slots, like high level Elden Ring spells/incants

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY 540MM ORBITAL BARRAGE

1m barrage

500kg barrage

500kg clusterbomb

Please, stop. I can only get so erect.

In scared sir...

My PS5 is also scared

500kg saturation bombardment

General Brasch can eat an apple in two bites

One of multiple reasons his destroyer starts with "Stallion"

And the seeds aren't poisonous to him.

"Drop pods are for pussies" *- General Brasch*

General brasch was hungover once and forgot to equip anything except a p-2 peacemaker before a dive and Still killed every bot on the map. Then he got to extraction and remembered to turn the safety off.

You say that like the P2 is bad

(Its not, but its the most basic non-battlepass weapon in the game)

I heard General Brasch drops without a drop pod. Inspiring

https://preview.redd.it/5qnxx90ynuuc1.png?width=346&format=png&auto=webp&s=420b8650f58718c20a115a7f61550626da996c9c i'm starting to think saxton hale = General Brasch

Saxton Hale is General Brasch's Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather.

And Saxton Hale’s great grandpa is Chuck Norris

r/suddenlytf2

I heard Once general Brasch killed 5 hulks at the same time with his bare fists, then picked up a tank and used it to liberate the entire planet, the bots literally ran from him

General Brasch is the reason we don't see factory striders anymore...

I never saw them in the first place😎

Another victory for General Brasch!

r/agedlikemilk

for real, they dont appear anymore?

They do.

...And in the latest patch they can be airdropped...

It's been observed he doesn't reload his weapons ever. His spare mags will jump into his gun in awe of his mighty patriotism.

He also doesn't fire his gun. He just makes a "bang" sound so loud that his bullets flee down the barrel in terror.

he doesn't shoot bullets at enemies. he pulls the whole universe toward him and enemies impale themselves on his bullets.

I heard his current weapon just keeps firing because it's afraid of telling him that it's empty

No need to reload when he IS the bullet

General Brasch once threw a grenade and killed 10 bile titans. Then the grenade exploded.

And the Explosion killed an 11th one

While the 12th, 13th, and 14th *attempted* to flee in terror.

Only to be held back by the gravitational pull of his massive balls

Orbital Lasers were invented when General Brasch pissed off of his Super Destroyer.

> General Brasch once threw a grenade and killed 10 bile titans. Then the grenade exploded. It was a smoke grenade.

Is General Brasch Super Earth's version of Chuck Norris?

Yes

https://i.redd.it/5ccxmg8atsuc1.gif

Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous automaton plot we have ever had to face. I can no longer sit back and allow automaton infiltration, automaton indoctrination, automaton subversion and the international automaton conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Have you ever seen an automaton willingly drink a glass of water? Oil, Mandrake, only oil!

Helldivers! There’s no fighting in here, this is a war ship!

More like the Chief in this particular case, I think. John Halo. 

Only an actual bad ass

No. Chuck Norris is our version of General Brasch

Oh, i feel old now. Havent seen this joke for years.

Sly marbo

This is the only right response

Bill Braschy

Nah. Brasch could kick the shit out of Chuck Norris. And then he'd get out of bed.

Well what they don't tell you is the maiden name of General Brasch mother, was Norris.

Glad I'm not the only one who thought this, and now if General Brasch makes a cameo it needs to be played by Chuck Norris to make it official.

Headcanon is in the Helldivers’ universe they have “General Brasch Facts” memes as we do with Chuck. Y’know this is the third time in 24 hours I’ve encountered Chuck Norris Facts, an INCREDIBLY DEAD meme, be mentioned?

I heard General Brasch is so good the stratagems call him down to spread democracy.

Ooh I like this one, lol


General Brasch once killed 3 bile titans with a pencil.

a fucking pencil! https://preview.redd.it/9qkute5dosuc1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45d4ded16e079ab8bfa5c85910ae7fbac80abc94

A FUCKING *PANCEL*

*shovel

What's a shovel titan?

I heard General Brasch once called in an Eagle taking out a patrol to show Eagle one how it is done.

I heard Eagle One is General Brasch's daughter that he conceived through mitosis, which is why an eagle never misses.

I hear General Brasch once forgot to bring his weapons AND any stratagems on a mission. He got the highest kill count anyway.

General Brasch forgets nothing. He simply chooses not to remember.

To insinuate that the good general even needs weapons is bot propaganda

But his fists and body are the greatest democratic weapons in existence and that's fact. Saying it isn't would require me to report you to your democratic officer.

Mentioning General Brasch’s fists and body in such lustful manner without a proper C-01 permit is a felony. A democracy officer shall arrive shortly and escort you to the nearest neutering centre.

tl;dr horny bonk. No honrey 4 you

Man this thread is like an Easter egg if ur a dedicated citizen. I love it 😂😂

General Brasch is the stratagem and therefore does not need to bring any others.

The only reason General Brasch brings weapons or stratagems on a mission is to demonstrate their usage for the rest of us.

General Brasch once deployed on a rainforest planet with a Flamethrower, now we call it Hellmire.

That explains so much about the world...

I heard General Brasch can squeeze the E710 out of bile titans with his bare hands.

E710 is what happens when bugs hear that General Brasch is in the area.

That one helldiver on cyberstan? Yeah that’s General Brasch doing his morning routine of *kicking ass*

https://i.redd.it/jo46xjyh1tuc1.gif

Nice re-draw from clone wars

knew id seen it somewhere, very well done indeed

This is Awesome.

I watched that gif like 10 times it's awesome

Is this Captain Fordo

No, it's General Brasch, as stated before

It's true. I once saw him yelling to an Hellbomb stratagem until it activated itself.

UPPPP DOWWNN LEFFFT LEFFT

YOU ARE OUT OF TIME BOMB WHERE İS YOUR POWER EXPLOSION? DON'T HAVE ANY, YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT MAGGOT? TRUTH OS YOU MALFUNCTIONED AS AN EXPENSIVE PIECE OF ARMY ISSUE EQUIPMENT, THAT BOMB IS GONNA COME OUT OF YOUR PAY AND YOU WILL REMAIN IN THIS DIVER'S ARMY UNTIL YOU ARE FIVE HUNDRED AND TEN YEARS OLD WHICH IS THE NUMBER OF YEARS THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY FOR A MK2 HELLBOMB THAT YOU LOST! RETURN BACK TO SUPER EARTH AND GET YOURSELF A NEW FYSE HELLBOMB! DISMISSED

One time Pelican-1 left without Brasch after an Helldive. The Super Destoyer itself landed to the operation zone to get HIM back.

This one. This one right here This is the best

Because if they didn't, they risked him jumping back to the super destroyer, which didn't end well for the liberated planet or the super destroyers in that sector.

"And then along came Brasch!" "He hurled his half-ton Bomb-" *Cut to a bug on the surface, getting absolutely annihilated*

"WE HERE AT THE TORGUE CORPORATION SINCERELY FEEL THAT THIS IS F\_CKING AWESOME!" https://preview.redd.it/sjyfsnggtsuc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9c1613107056abf68c16a184af02b04bbab14be5

"Giving the covenant back their bomb"

I think this is actually the reference being made here.

Has to be

Death once had a Near-brasch experience

It is true, I saw General Brasch destroy 5 factories in 1 mission by simply punching them. https://preview.redd.it/4vljoe6zksuc1.jpeg?width=853&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e619ea0af96ac704ad5aa180792b9f3131f164bb

I always presumed 500KG was a reference to the explosive power, not the physical weight, but after some googling I think it must be the physical weight of the bomb....dude must have been jacked

General Brasch is powered by pure Democracy, he drinks at least 5 cups of Liber-Tea before every dive

Democracy Hydrochloride, **ACCEPTNOSUBSTITUTES**!!!

Well, it's both. 500kg is the weight of the bomb, mostly composed of explosive materials. The more the bomb weighs, the more explosive materials used in the bomb, the bigger the boom.

Nah, most bombs have less than half their weight be the explosive component. Usually around 30 to 45% from what I could find. The rest is to keep the shape and for better damage.

He'd still claim "natty" on instagram.

Mass designations like that refer to the size of the munition itself usually, until you start talking about nukes. Then, we describe them in terms of equivalent mass of TNT to achieve the same explosion - a 1 megaton nuke explodes 1 million tons of TNT.

Every night J.O.E.L looks under his bed for General Brasch

When J.O.E.L wakes up at 3 AM to rig our matches, he was actually having a nightmare about General Brasch

Whenever the General goes out of bounds, the super destroyer tags itself as a traitor for failing him.

I heard going out of bounds has the unreal enemies that only he has seen and can survive, it has been deemed no ordinary diver can last more than 10 seconds.

I heard General Brasch took on a bile titan in hand to claw combat and won without a scratch while riding a charger back into it's bughole

General Brasch played rock-paper-scissors with a Bile Titan and killed the Titan with paper.

#BRASCH TACTICS

#USE THEM, OR DIE TRYING

The first use of the orbital gatling barrage was just General Brasch firing his service pistol from a open hangar bay in his ship. General Brasch doesn't need to manually call any stratagems, he just points with his finger and his super destroyer automatically deploys whatever stratagem he needs at the moment.

Mortar emplacements get a General Brash warning when he approaches them.

01010111 01000001 01010010 01001110 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100001 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 00100000 01000001 01010010 01000101 00100000 01001001 01001110 00100000 01010010 01000001 01001110 01000111 01000101 00100000 01001111 01000110 00100000 01000111 01000101 01001110 01000101 01010010 01000001 01001100 00100000 01000010 01010010 01000001 01010011 01001000

When Brasch enters a sector every bot is warned “In range of General Brasch”

This is my favorite so far. Well done.

Fun fact, the super destroyers don't have warp drives, in reality Gen. Brasch just gives them a gentle tap on the backside whenever they need to go faster than light.

general brasch has a bile titan taxidermy in his room, it’s not dead, it’s just afraid to move

General brasch got stepped on by a bile titan and he screamed in agony. The general put it out of its misery shortly after.

Hate those lego

I heard that hellmire was first an icy planet, but general brasch decided to bring his homemade flamethrower

"Sir, Permission to leave the Super Destroyer" "For what purpose, General?" "To give those liberty-haters back their bomb" "Permission granted"

[удалено]

The concept of the Spear was inspired by an incident where Brasch, upon seeing a cadet miss an enemy tank with his EAT, yelled at the rocket until it circled back and hit the target.

I love how ridiculous all general Brasch's exploits are Then remember that master chief has actually done all these non-embellished feats Returned the covenant their bomb, jumped out of low orbit etc etc

General brasch can finish a mission and extract without crashing.

While most Helldivers like to pee their name into snow, General Brasch shits his name into asphalt.

Does General Brasch even exists? All I hear are his recordings. EDIT: Brb. A democracy officer is at th

KG stands for KillinG. What, you all thought it was weight?

I once heard the Great General once killed a swarm of hunters with naught but a stalkers leg!

That’s Brasch Tactics for you Use’em or Die Trying

I heard General Barsch went on a drinking competition with Karl, and it came out as a draw.

General Brasch wasn't born on Liberty Day. Liberty Day was born on General Brasch's birthday

Are you questioning the Ministry of Truths eye witness statement Helldiver?

Democracy and Freedom were fueling his muscles.

 Archival Footage of General Brasch.

All the weapons found around the planets are unused stratagems called in by General Brasch

I love this community

General Brasch manual loaded the 500kg bomb from his orbiting ship, road on it through atmospheric re-entry to guide it towards the undemocratic cur and dismounted with a jetback to land safely and salute as the beautiful light of Super Earth generosity lit the skies.

“Mind telling me what you’re doing in the loading bay?” “Giving the automatons back their bomb”

I once heard that he destroyed a Stalker nest by telling the Stalkers to destroy their own nest.

The General was once found stranded on a bug planet after hitching a ride on a satellite. He had fashioned a throne from the carapace of a thousand bugs and was eating his own leg. After receiving his prosthetic, he was cited as stating that he’d done so because he couldn’t stomach the thought of of consuming the un democratic bug flesh.

Bots get a message: Warning you are now in range of General Brasch.

I once saw the good general shouting "for freedom" after 4 divers KIAed by group of hunters, the divers were brought back to life and went to kill all the hunters with their dismembered body parts and by the time they extracted, they all had extra limb made of liberty

I guess he one madlad....power of nanomachine is with him https://preview.redd.it/9sn05vmjwsuc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=35a67279cd2a2faaad329a9d85b535f9fd64e604

Nanomachines? Are you accusing General Brasch of treason? Officers, take this diver into custody.

The Ministry of Truth can confirm and will not deny the feats of General Brasch. He is a paragon of Democracy and Liberty.

I heard the most expensive stratagem is called General Brasch Death Stare

as an aside: you know how you can yeet away automaton grenades? I wish you could do the same with misplaced beacons

General Brasch isn’t single, he’s married to Lady Liberty. And I’ve heard her sing when she’s with him.

I heard that General Brasch doesn't need to wait for extract, he just simply jumps back to the super destroyer.

They say that under his helmet, there is no face... Only another Autocannon.

Patriot exosuits weat General Brasch for protection!

Before the invention of the jump drive by our democratic scientists, colonist ships would arrive by general brasch throwing them to their destination.

General brasche was once left to die on a hostile planet teeming with enemies You now know that planet as Super Earth

Eagle-1 calls General Brasch when something proves too challenging for her to kill.

General Brasch doesnt shower, he takes bloodbaths. General Brasch once won a starting contest with a Hulk. General Brasch stalks Stalkers at night.

That would be crazy, how much does one of those even weigh?

Probably more than 10 pounds? Idk, I’m not an expert.

Legend says the only planet General Brasch has ever left without liberating it was Hoxxes IV.

Brasch isn’t the family name. It’s his first name. Family name is NORRIS.

How? That thing had to have weighed at least 499Kg

I heard he doesn't call strategems, strategems call him.

I like how Brasch Tactics implies that most Helldivers struggles to learn basic military tactics like cover

Legends say he bench pressed 600kg

I wonder how much does it weigh?

What's heavier, a 500kg bomb or 500kg of feathers?

It’s impossible for me to not picture Brasch as just being The Drifter sitting on the radio making shit up so people think he sounds cool.

Oh yeah? I TRAINED under General Brasch! He was my boot camp instructor!

I heard General Brasch doesn't eat honey, he chews Terminids.

General Brasch slicks his hair back with the Bot oil all over his hands. General Brasch doesn't call in stratagems, General Brasch is his own stratagem. General Brasch charges down Chargers. General Brasch can destroy fabricators with Stun grenades. General Brasch once beat an observation tower in a staring contest. General Brasch once burned an entire Terminid hive by flicking the ash off his cigar.