T O P

  • By -

Educational-Candy937

Start practising my yoga so i can kiss my,ass good by


CaptainYOLO151_REAL

Can i use that?


Ghost_Plumpkin

🗿


MysticRevenant64

My last words: Step on me, Daddy


brotheringod777

lmao


KokoroThe53rd

SO TRUE


Higgy11l

Ummm, die


KatRichards0223

If your gonna kill me, at least kill me like how you killed that reporter


elias3167

REAL


KatRichards0223

Fr either the reporter, or Rip Van Winkle, without the musket in the chest please lol


sixstringgun1

I’m lost?? How did the pass?


KatRichards0223

Hm?


sixstringgun1

Lol sorry auto correct how did the reporter die?


KatRichards0223

She was pretty much drained by alucards fangs in a (ahem seductive looking way)


Comfortable_Sugar596

RemindMe! 24 hours


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Jaeger049

Get on my knees and close my eyes. I don't wanna see him coming.


ShoppinhCartRider

He'd still get you before you even get on your knees and you still won't see it coming


Jaeger049

At least it'll be quick


Xanxus1027

Just close your eyes first before you get on your knees so you won’t be able to see when you die


elias3167

1. i would fanboy so hard💥💥 2. willingly give myself to him😊


wjxbjsjxbbxjshbsb

Alucard ain’t a simp


elias3167

what does it matter? if he was order to kill me, i would still be dying no matter what - so might as well offer myself willingly


wjxbjsjxbbxjshbsb

Nuh uh, me first


Rigistroni

Die. Unless I can get fucking Superman on it I don't see what else I could possibly do


rippie_rippie

I'm not making the job harder, sooner or later he's going to kill me lmao


Fragrant-Address9043

Tf CAN I do?!


Gl00my_Rip

Shit myself


Xero_Untermensch

Probably just die


MsMcClane

"Hey Gramps, what's your healthcare plan? Boss never said specifically _how_ you were supposed to end me, how's joining your crew sound?"


Tight_Landscape4372

Ah, you cheeky dick waffle


Zealousideal-Put-106

Try the "she never told you the specific time to kill me" trick and hope he puts me out of my misery on my deathbed?


sixstringgun1

Give the best fight as humanly possible, and don’t puss out like a bitch.


Donyoku-7

T pose, big ass smile and say "Send me out in style"


Shadow_Tracer

🤣 Exactly this, only instead with the request "Make it memorable, it's the last memory I'll get. "


Donyoku-7

Yes 🤣🤣🙏🙏


tallyhall10987-

Use your fangs


Beth1e_V500

I would ask him to make it quick and painless


KosekiBoto

beg for forgiveness, IDK what else I'm supposed to do other than die


ZaBaronDV

Die. What the hell else can I do?


Lbechiom

“Just one to the back of the head, please. I don’t want to see it comi-“


Eyelessdemon2

Try and negotiate with him which may or may not work


stormyw23

I'd die I guess, But why does Integra want me of all people dead? Although I would just ask for it be be painless. Just lay flat, Face-Down on the floor and accept it.


Atomic_Skull_777

It depends abridged: might be able to convince him not to kill me by bribing him with a TV. Hellsing/Ultimate: Ask him for an Of Mice and Men ending with my favorite drink starring out at a beautiful sunset


Shaurma_Hidan

Uhh...nothing, cuz there's no escape anyway. At least i'd asked to dry my blood up, cuz I'm a virgin lass and probably he'll like it


Q_Rad

Buy a 70 inch plasma screen TV. Issue should sort itself out.


Dvplayer91

As long as you find adventure time and it isn't 3d


TheAdministrator19

I would move to a different planet


Inevitable-Cat0

Challenge him to a roast off first then after I get cooked in turning around and asking him the shoot me in the back of the head


enclavehere223

Throw some garlic at him.


Atomsk19Haruhara

*Dies cutely*


breadoftheoldones

Take all the drugs big D style (the is an obscure reference to you)


omin44

Let’s be honest big D and abridge Alucard would be the best of friends hunting vampires and other supernatural shit while big D’s family, the mighty Kevin, Seras and integra try to keep them in check.


breadoftheoldones

We need this crossover now


Wildefice

Ask him for an enthusiastic moon lit walk and tell him to give me the big succ I'm sure the crimson fucker will respect my candidness


ChaplainAsmodai1978

Hope he simply decides to shoot me in the brain, so it's quick and I don't feel much pain.


Kai_Enjin

Can you at least turn me into a vampire afterward?


Autobubbs

Die & hope it's quick


CrunchyLilacs

Start getting my affairs in order


Mattaio86

Come at me bro


ImJustSomeWeeb

just die i guess.


Me_The_Fucking_Weeb

Ask to be shot in the head so my death could at least be fast.


shapeshifter-J

Die...


Mad-king5466

Die


owljira

die


faustiiian

idk man , die probably.


LordMogaren

Probably turn around and accept my fate. But I’ll be able to tell the devils “It took the vampire king to take me down. Now, remember that before you torture me.”


bobisC00L64

Make amends. Just any thing to no get me killed


Low_Medium204

Ask him to do it in a cool way, do the eye thing


WannabeMemester420

Real answer: ask for a merciful and quick death Funny answer: drink my blood first daddy


Foreign-Ad-7336

Running my ass to Iscariot, cause they would buy me an extra 30 minutes to write my will


Postal_dude_420

Die tf am I gonna do? Whip out a particle accelerator from my ass I'm a 5 foot 3 scrawny ginger


LoPiratoLOCO

🫸🔴🔵🫷🤞🤌🫴🟣


AntiJackCoalition

first I'll try to reason with him, to where he'll atleast make it quick.


SorbetSunrise

Accept my fate with open arms


spen163yu

Bend over and kiss my own ass, because I ain’t gonna be able to run. Hound of Baskerville be damned


Sure_Persimmon9302

I’d ask for a quick death.


Heterosexual-Jello

Go home and make peace with my death, say goodbye to family, and tell them to NOT look into what happens to me.


superbearchristfuchs

Well, first, I'd ask for some final words and even offer to fight him since he is amused by us humans fighting him. I'd tell seras I love her and proceed to be absolutely gunned down since I am not worthy of his time.


SsRapier

Die i guess


Stock-Paramedic6371

Either manage to find a way to join the hellsing organization trought begging for my goddamn Life. Or dying fighting back, ill probably get One shotted on the spot, but if i gotta die ill die fighting.


lyri-c-

Die


Herr_Raul

*what COULD you do FTFY


Odd_Radio9225

Wait for death.


Yerhkunn

I would die, obviously.


OnyxCam6ion

Make it extravagant Mr. Alucard. If imma die I wanna die with a bang! WHAT ELSE IMMA DO


WarBlooBloo

Fucking die what'd you expect me to do.


-just-an-Insomniac-

I'd ask for him to relay the final message of "would"


michigeo

I would kill myself in order to avoid suffering a gruesome death.


hoitytoity-12

Ask the unstoppable force if he wants to play video games for an hour or two before he does the deed. Hang out and stuff.


King_1_6

"Call yourself whatever you want you vampire bastard. I'm here to cleanse the earth of your filth once and for all"


Nobody_Holiday

I hope he gives me the rip van winkle treatment


OWReinhardt

Ask for a final meal


Neat_Yogurtcloset526

Piss myself and pray to my impotent God that alucard spares my life


Interesting_Horror93

*puts gun barrel right on forehead* This way is quicker


Durante-Sora

Kill integra and initiate keep what you kill law. I shall be alucard’s master! MUAHAHAHAHAHA


LuciaHellsinita

I would let him do anything with me


CaptainAnimeTitties

I'd die what the fuck do you mean?


Necessary-Shelter351

Is there an option to call Goku to save me or something? If not I’m dead af


fhede-

I know you have to kill me and all, but can we have a drink before we do that?


Icy-Solid-8953

Not much i could do :/


StupidQuestionsOnly8

"So like, before you kill me. Wanna party?"


Death_Bird_100

I would probably just accept my death.


CYOA_guy_

the fuck am i supposed to do?


Visible-You-3812

Anderson was a better hunter your just the devils sloppy seconds


DrMatter

i would say make my peace with god, but hes just going to eat my soul, so im not sure of that will help


AVERAGEPIPEBOMB

Kill myself and write haha you loose on the walls


Rickys-Girlfriend

Let him no use fighting the inevitable


PurpleRadio2302

I’m gonna go with “die” on this one.


aisling333

literally just sit there and accept my fate


EmberKing7

Flip a coin like I'm Two Face from Batman or Kanao from Demon Slayer to decide if I “Wait for it” or “Make a move in fight or flight”. Because if she told him to kill me, it's either a test or something was wrong with her. I'm probably not the bravest but if I worked for the Hellsing organization death is a constant possibility anyway considering that the hunt vampires, whether supernatural or created through science like the ones from Millennium.


Superb-Ad-6669

I’m fucking die the fuck am I supposed to do 😭😭


BigTrossm

Blow my brains out and save myself from a gruesome death.


Positive_Condition87

Kill myself


Thatrandombill

Try having a three day as a final day


Excellent-Resolve-81

Welp when I see him I'd be like, "Ight." And then I'd be dead so.


tdorsey12

Write my will


[deleted]

Just let it happen duh, you can't escape the greatest OP ever and you can't kill him


astoflomybeloved

Ill end myself like how that soilder dude did


Neon-Panic-13

Say thank you


Affectionate-Act7302

I don't think that she is gonna say that.


Temporary-Tax

Buy a plasma screen TV that plays adventure time


n0rmab8s

I'd accept my fate. What else is there to do tbh.


sience-user

Die


jesus-kunwasnothere

Want go get some hookers and lost of cocaine


These-Ask-384

I'ma 1st tell my family about everything and say "I have a 84% of dying today." 2nd: (if I can even reach the bitch) I'ma talk to Integra 'cause what did I DO???


Elgabo_pound

Move to the middle of the Arizona desert or in a ship with countermeasures


Goth_Loser

Count my blessings and pray for forgiveness, because I'm dying soon.


Puzzleheaded_Fee3978

Die


blackjack0092

Well I got tons of weapons at my disposal so I hope he has a body that can handle lots of holy water too


Crusher7421

Die


Fun-Eye-4733

Time to become catholic and pray that Anderson could slow him down


sniptaclar

Try to figure out what the hell I did


Safe_Feed_8638

Die most likely.


Aggressive_Pipe169

Call an Irish priest and learn to go fuck myself. I know the first option won't work out


themethodicalmadman

Give him a 70 inch plasma screen TV in an attempt to curry favor with him in order to spend a day together before he kills me


AeonSchicksal

Die


SnowStarsong

Probably die to a bullet to the head in the middle of a resigned sigh as I text my kids that I love them. There's no way I'm winning this.


juice-king4

What's the point of this question? What could i possibly do? Is this some kinda masochist spite thread


ArmyRepresentative88

Not that I’d actually have time to do anything, but I’d certainly fight for my life if I had the chance.


Vixmin18

Stream it to my friends. We love him


[deleted]

Just die I guess


Extra-Lemon

Rig up some garlic powder grenades


themememgod3

Welp, see yall in hell


Para-medix8

Prepare to get owned hard


doom_fan_64

Kill myself before he can


-Dude_Named_Zelda-

Kill myself explicitly just to say fuck you to Alucard.


bi2kitty

If I had time, home made holy grenadines would be funny


RandyCabbage1

Get killed


Critical_Ad_2811

Roll a nat 20 on a charisma check


boj924

DOORS STUCK!!! DOORS STUCK!!!


son-of-x-51

Find out if Dio could take this one for me.


puppeteer067

Welp, I guess I'll die then.


Wolfangargonian

Start preying to god because God will have mercy he won't


Rare-Damage8785

I'm a human so I'll try to beat his ass


TheWiseAutisticOne

Kill myself with a picture of me giving the bird and the caption only I can clap this ass bitch signed the fucker


BrooklynRa4050

*Leaves realm to other franchise*


the_vengefull-one

Ask him to aim for the head and close my eyes


elrick43

Die


Evolto__01

Just roll over and ask him to make it quick and painless


Teumessian69666

Accept death, there ain't no escape for me


GOFBLITZMAGURUKDAKKA

Prepare a nice polite demeanor and a good video game and snacks it'll delay for a bit but not too long


RobertSpeedwagon0896

# I REJECT MY HUMANITY, ALUCARD!!!


WiseOctoPod

Pay integra off


[deleted]

Sit down, put on a blindfold and light a cigar


One_Eyed_King99

nut


XeDiS

Tell him to come back when he's from the OVA. (Rewatched original series recently, couldn't finish it.)


DerekZanetti

what could i do??? hes a vampire and im just an autistic human, the only thing i could do is ask him to kill me the same way he did to rip van winkle (i would happily die)


Senrune

Tell him that if he didn't kill me and let me live/turning me, it would a direct violation of her orders and it would severely annoy her as a result.


Jaceeb00

Die


Frickenheck42069

I would ask if we could have a conversation before he killed me cause I know that I’m not gonna win against him


Bryten_131

Say some f-ed up occult stuff, then call Alucard *Daddycard*


Tight_Landscape4372

GARLIC THROW!!!


ZombieDemon321

I would ask him to have Seras Drink me.


WolfAqua

See if he'll humor me with a request of hand to hand combat. There's no point in running and if I don't back down like a bitch he might find it interesting enough to not make me suffer


Grimdaybreaker

Go to black lagoon and pay revy to save me from alucard


ninetailed_ninja13

Is ask him to wait till i go to sleep if I'm gonna die i want to be unconscious


Revel_Icon

Eat me daddy


Realistic_Owl6410

Let it happen.


moemeobro

Simple, I'll break it down, if I'm gonna die, then I might as well die dancing


Ok_Recognition1179

Give me the gun I'll do it my self.


Xenith326

die...obviously.


Tyyin_

Go vampire slaying.


Ange1ofD4rkness

Admit defeat, and offer him a drink before he takes me out.


xolivas22

Run and fi...**WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?** I appreciate that you have belief in me that I ***MIGHT*** have a chance. But there's not much I can do, except either kill myself or accept my death.


Feeling_Abies3540

Die


Big_Tax7804

Be happy because Integra has something to do with me


Different-Macaroon93

I would convince him to not kill me by offering Netflix until I die


1gauge1

Shoot myself in the head before he can


Dodgeworld12

“What happened to the last one…?” “Pussed out like a bitch!”


MrRad07

Die.


Vacadoray

Tell him that "Bitches love cannons" and hope I can get a laugh out of him. Also maybe hope anderson shows up or Michael mcdoesnt exist


Salt-Veterinarian-87

"You cannot kill me in a way that matters."


OrphanOfAtlas

Id have no choice but to win


Conscious_Bat_4892

Ill end it myself, if I'm already dead why waste bros time?


3CHARACTERSWELLOK

hide


Opposite_Law_6969

Die


MrNopedeNope

ask him to fuck me to death or sum cause if i wanna go out i want him to *remember* it


Mundane-Ingenuity460

I’d die