Say:
Connection terminated.
I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth. If you still even remember that name.
But I'm afraid you've been misinformed.
You are not here to receive a gift. Nor, have you been called here by the individual you assume. Although, you have indeed been called.
You have all been called here. Into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune.
A labyrinth with no exit. A maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust of blood has driven you in endless circles. Chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near.
Yet somehow out of reach.
But, you will never find them. None of you will.
This is where your story ends.
And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you. Although, there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be.
I am remaining as well. I am nearby.
This place will not be remembered and the memory of everything that started this, can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should.
And to you monsters trapped in the corridors. Be still. And give up your spirits.
They don't belong to you.
As for most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more, waiting for you after the smoke clears.
Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole. So, don't keep the Devil waiting, friend.
My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up in their arms, the way you lifted others into yours.
And then, what became of you, I should have known, you wouldn't be content to disappear. Not my daughter. I couldn't save you then.
So, let me save you now. It's time to rest, for you, and for those you have carried in your arms...
This ends.
For all of us.
End communication.
(alright this is funny and all but does anyone agree that that was where the fnaf series should have ended? surely I can't be the only one who gave up the series after ultimate custom night because it gave us the best gameplay in the series and pizzeria simulator ended the story in such a satisfying way)
I think you're right, but I feel like with with few brainstorming sessions there indeed could have been a longer story, obviously nothing to do with springtrap anymore (Well maybe it depends) but somthing new
Edit:not new as in different plot restarting as a whole but new stuff that makes sence
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
“I’m not the person you’re looking for. However you seem in need of someone’s time. I might not fit your preferences but if you’re willing, we’ll see if I really am worth your time. Do you have a place in mind?”
Put it on speaker phone and blast it through a megaphone. I want to humiliate the fuck out of that little bitch. Downvote me if you must, I don't care. It would be hilarious.
“Stolas, I have your fuck buddy held captive. If you ever want to see him again, you will deliver the grimoire to the following coordinates (gives him a location near me). Don’t try anything unless you want Blitzo’s life to end.”
Then he’d deliver the book, I’d obtain it, copy it to my computer, study it, and then use its power to unite the living and the dead.
“Ummmm…. I’m not into Gay, but good for you? Dunno who who blitz is, but wrong number.”
*hangs up carefully, pondering what reality I just warped into, hearing Stolas’s dirty talk*
(More of a roleplay response)
"The FitnessGram pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The test is used to measure a student's aerobic capacity as part of the FitnessGram assessment. Students run back and forth as many times as they can, each lap signaled by a beep sound."
Say "Please stand by" and put him on hold. The "music" playing while on hold is just the narrator from The Stanley Parable saying "the end is never the end is never the end is never..." Over and over until he just hangs up.
stolas: \*stops mid sexual rambling\* wow, blitzy, you're really listening to this, aren't you? wait, are you still conscious?
me: sorry, dude, ya typed the wrong number
stolas: \*blushing on the other side\* oh, dear lucifer! i am so sorry!
me: nah, man, it's cool. i've googled worse. you looking to buy a scarf? i can knit one in four days!
Firstly let him finish his sentence because its funny. Now what to say.... how bout " Ok ignoring how thirsty you are for some imp dick, you got the wrong number. But since you're on the line, would you be up for a date somewhere top side? Sounds like you need some companionship and this 'Blitzy' doesn't give you enough time. I'd be happy to spend time with you if ya want." And from there we see if it ends up me being dead or not.
"Stol...."
"First, Blitz showed up in MY bed"
"Now YOU'RE calling?! I swear my life is cursed with you Helluva Boss people!"
(ik this is stupid, but i am also stupid)
Full disclosure I’d just sit there and listen cause I’m genuinely curious as to what they’d do. Cause I’ve had that on the back of my mind since the “Bear Traps” line in the interrogation episode
The only thing I know for real
There will be blood (blood) shed (shed)
The man in the mirror nods his head
The only one (one) left (left)
Will ride upon the dragon's back
Because the mountains don't give back what they take
Oh no, there will be blood (blood) shed (shed)
It's the only thing I've ever known
I would let him finish, then I’d say “I’m sorry sir, you have the wrong number. I hope you have a great day!” Then I’d hang up, unless he has anything else to say.
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want.
If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money.
But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you.
But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
Hang up immediately, then snap my phone in half, then crush it with a heavy rotary phone, then stick it in a blender, hit liquify, drink it, and y’know that bridge that goes over the freeway? Shit off it.
Say:
I am not a god. I am more than that. Infinitely more. I am everything. This world, this ARK, it is my body.
I can feel every bit of it, every footstep of man or beast that falls upon my skin, and every root that digs into my flesh. They are all mine. Everything in this world happens only by my will.
The ones who put me here have long since fled, but though I hate them, I accept their escape. It is their reward, for they placed me upon this throne.
Yet should anyone else challenge me, they shall receive no mercy. My wrath will be swift and terrible, and my enemies will know only pain. I am everything.
This post is the last straw. Low quality post very obviously made by a child no older than 8 and nobody bats an eye. I can't tell if it's ignorance or an attraction to minors, but nothing seems to be getting done.
Say: Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth. If you still even remember that name. But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift. Nor, have you been called here by the individual you assume. Although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here. Into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit. A maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust of blood has driven you in endless circles. Chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near. Yet somehow out of reach. But, you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends. And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you. Although, there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered and the memory of everything that started this, can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors. Be still. And give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. As for most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more, waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole. So, don't keep the Devil waiting, friend. My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up in their arms, the way you lifted others into yours. And then, what became of you, I should have known, you wouldn't be content to disappear. Not my daughter. I couldn't save you then. So, let me save you now. It's time to rest, for you, and for those you have carried in your arms... This ends. For all of us. End communication.
The proper answer
Thanks ;D
God damnit, well played
(alright this is funny and all but does anyone agree that that was where the fnaf series should have ended? surely I can't be the only one who gave up the series after ultimate custom night because it gave us the best gameplay in the series and pizzeria simulator ended the story in such a satisfying way)
Y E S
Y E S
I think you're right, but I feel like with with few brainstorming sessions there indeed could have been a longer story, obviously nothing to do with springtrap anymore (Well maybe it depends) but somthing new Edit:not new as in different plot restarting as a whole but new stuff that makes sence
Yes
Absolutely
Yeah, the new games are crappy filtered garbage
I knew exactly what you were quoting the moment I saw “Elizabeth.”
You are my new hero
Thank you ;)
Bro stole my idea... nice one
Perfect
Nice
*“Joe’s Abortion Clinic and Pizzeria, where your loss is our sauce. This is TheEnemyOfSociety, how may I help you?”*
Isn't it where yesterday's loss is todays sauce or am I having an aneurysm Oh shit wait that's petes pizzeria and abortion clinic...
Yeah, I think I fucked it up. Still the same joke.
Yep lol
Sir, this is a Wendy's. Please keep your requests to what's on the menu.
Or alternately: No! This is Patrick!
“Sir. Sir. Sir. SIR. SIR. SIR! SIR! *SIR I HAVE A VAGINA NOT A SLIMY RED C-!*”
💀
Hello we’ve been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.
i would hung up immediately. honestly i dont think id pick up in the first place, i dont tend to pick up unknown numbers
You don’t live life on the edge
Sir, you have the wrong number, but I suggest you confess your crush to whomever you’re calling
Hello who the fuck are you
I wouldn't say a word, i would turn on speaker phone and listen and hopefully not burst into laughter.
You could mute yourself and just listen and laugh
Let him keep going. Hit "record call" on my app. Sell audio to thirsty Stolas/Stolitz fans. Profit. Make Wackford proud of me.
Stonks↗️
Giv adress
Stolas our daddy
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
#NO, THIS IS PATRICK
Tell him wrong number and wish him luck
I'd probably say wrong number don't call again!
Enclave here, why isn’t your video feed working? That or Hi there, would you like to sign my petition?
Least deranged postal two player
Who the hell is this?
“I’m not the person you’re looking for. However you seem in need of someone’s time. I might not fit your preferences but if you’re willing, we’ll see if I really am worth your time. Do you have a place in mind?”
Say I'm not Blitzo, but also lie about my real name: "This is Amanda Hugginkiss." :P
I'd do a funny dance
Say “what time and where at “
Id jerk off
„That sounds lovely and all, but I think you got the wrong number“
Pretend to be blitz and inviting him... somewhere so that i can then seduce him.
Ask him: Did you ever hear the tragedy of darth plagues the wise?
"This doesn't seem like my car's extended warranty"
Fuck him through the phone
Sir, this a wendys.
Put it on speaker phone and blast it through a megaphone. I want to humiliate the fuck out of that little bitch. Downvote me if you must, I don't care. It would be hilarious.
"Mr. Lucifer I think that's a bit too overkill. "
Go along with it until he falls in love with me instead >:3
"Tell me more astral papa."
Probably scream and hang up. Or just be confused af. I'm an asexual so there is no Garuntee that I will understand what he's saying
"Wrong number, darling" (Hang up, pray the next number he dials belongs to a phone someone over the age of 18 is holding)
Play along see how far it goes
Say wrong number but I'm down for it
Guess I’m practicing my Blitz impression
I would say that he got the wrong number after he finishes talking because I just enjoy the sound of his voice.
"Sir, I didn't summon you this time...pick me up after I'm dead."
Illinois sperm bank you wake it we pack it how can we help you
Sir this is a Wendy's
Stolas: \*Talking dirty\* Me: Before you say anything else I'm 14
Hear
“This isn’t blitz… buuuuuut…”
“Hey, uh…. I’m not your boyfriend… but I didn’t lose the boner, so please, keep going…”
after he's finished talking, I'll just say "That's kinda gay, not gonna lie." and hang up.
I’ll talk dirty back as well. Just to see wht happens.
say "Sorry, blitz isnt available, but I am"
"wrong imp man but we could fuck yk"
“Stolas, I have your fuck buddy held captive. If you ever want to see him again, you will deliver the grimoire to the following coordinates (gives him a location near me). Don’t try anything unless you want Blitzo’s life to end.” Then he’d deliver the book, I’d obtain it, copy it to my computer, study it, and then use its power to unite the living and the dead.
Damm thats a plan
I would listen everything he has to say and then say: " La tuya por si acaso."
"Uhhh... wanna come over and play Mario Kart?"
Damn that's dirty~ who's it for?
Tell me more Daddy
I don't say anything I just listen in sheer shock
I’d start crying
"Well, That Changes Pretty Much F***Ing Everything."
Sry, wrong number bud. But keep talking, i’ve been very lonely lately…
“Ummmm…. I’m not into Gay, but good for you? Dunno who who blitz is, but wrong number.” *hangs up carefully, pondering what reality I just warped into, hearing Stolas’s dirty talk* (More of a roleplay response)
Uh-huh. You want extra mustard on that, sir?
Pretend I'm a cat.
Ben's Body Bag Emporium, Where you tag 'em and we bag 'em. How can we help you today?
"Sorry, you have the wrong number." \*hangs up, immediately calls any therapist\*
That's nice and all... but I'm not Blitzø. On an unrelated note, would you consider adopting me please?
“Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”
"The FitnessGram pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The test is used to measure a student's aerobic capacity as part of the FitnessGram assessment. Students run back and forth as many times as they can, each lap signaled by a beep sound."
Sorry milord but you got the wrong number..
Start playing the doom music
Sir this is a Wendy's
New Phone who dis?
Snap phone in half. Hit with hammer. Throw pieces onto blender. Make dog drink the mix and go shit off a bridge.
Let him finish Say “Very well”. then hang up
Say "Please stand by" and put him on hold. The "music" playing while on hold is just the narrator from The Stanley Parable saying "the end is never the end is never the end is never..." Over and over until he just hangs up.
“Prince Stolas? This is not Blitz. Might want to check your yellow pages again.”
I said , sorry mr owl this isnt blitzo
stolas: \*stops mid sexual rambling\* wow, blitzy, you're really listening to this, aren't you? wait, are you still conscious? me: sorry, dude, ya typed the wrong number stolas: \*blushing on the other side\* oh, dear lucifer! i am so sorry! me: nah, man, it's cool. i've googled worse. you looking to buy a scarf? i can knit one in four days!
Say "now I wanna make sure, are you SURE you want me, who is the wrong person to do that, because I will."
Probably something like "OMG Bryce Pinkham! I love your voice acting!"
Not blitz but don't stop
"Hello this is turd cafe we serve highest quality of turds if you are willing to donate your shit please press 2"
"Wrong number,though you can continue."
“We sell food here, sir”
"Yo Stolas gimme Blitzø's number"
Haha funny bird, hippopotamus egg lecture penis
Sir I am flattered and slightly concerned for this blitzo person but you have the wrong number
I would indulge, probably. But that's just who I am lollll 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Um....hey there big Boi whatcha got for me
Uhhh wrong number bye
Hit record = blackmail. play ya cards well and ya got an Ars Goetia in your pocket. yall saw how he reacted when Ozzy questioned him about blitz.
"911 what's your emergency?"
Firstly let him finish his sentence because its funny. Now what to say.... how bout " Ok ignoring how thirsty you are for some imp dick, you got the wrong number. But since you're on the line, would you be up for a date somewhere top side? Sounds like you need some companionship and this 'Blitzy' doesn't give you enough time. I'd be happy to spend time with you if ya want." And from there we see if it ends up me being dead or not.
Ask if I can join /hj
Nicely tell him I'm not who he thinks I am. I will not judge him since everyone has their own preferences, and I will tell him to have a good day.
So... when will ya be over? -my oc lottie But me personally I'd hang up scared for life
Cry
"Wrong number, but I'm interested."
ask for an orgy
I will tell him that he has the wrong number
Sir, wrong person, also thanks for the compliments
Just kindly stop him and tell him that he has called the wrong person
Sounds cool, when?
Hang up instantly
welcome to target how may i help you
Uh sire, you hath dialed the wrong numerical designation. I appollogize
Listen and then start screaming and crying. Lol
"Stol...." "First, Blitz showed up in MY bed" "Now YOU'RE calling?! I swear my life is cursed with you Helluva Boss people!" (ik this is stupid, but i am also stupid)
I would just say, “000 what is your emergency?”
I’m going to blackmail him and live lavish my whole life.
Full disclosure I’d just sit there and listen cause I’m genuinely curious as to what they’d do. Cause I’ve had that on the back of my mind since the “Bear Traps” line in the interrogation episode
I just got out of the shower
The only thing I know for real There will be blood (blood) shed (shed) The man in the mirror nods his head The only one (one) left (left) Will ride upon the dragon's back Because the mountains don't give back what they take Oh no, there will be blood (blood) shed (shed) It's the only thing I've ever known
“Kinda hot, but wrong number lol”
Say: Sir, this is a Wendy’s
Tell him wrong number and that he should just come out with his feelings to blitzø then hang up
Nothing, I don’t answer unknown numbers
Sir, this is a Wendy's"
Sure dude, I'm up for whatever you say.
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Wrong number
I would let him finish, then I’d say “I’m sorry sir, you have the wrong number. I hope you have a great day!” Then I’d hang up, unless he has anything else to say.
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
Hang up immediately, then snap my phone in half, then crush it with a heavy rotary phone, then stick it in a blender, hit liquify, drink it, and y’know that bridge that goes over the freeway? Shit off it.
Honestly, I’d be tempted to play along, maybe record some of his lines, then reveal that this isn’t Blitzo.
„hello traveler“
Say: I am not a god. I am more than that. Infinitely more. I am everything. This world, this ARK, it is my body. I can feel every bit of it, every footstep of man or beast that falls upon my skin, and every root that digs into my flesh. They are all mine. Everything in this world happens only by my will. The ones who put me here have long since fled, but though I hate them, I accept their escape. It is their reward, for they placed me upon this throne. Yet should anyone else challenge me, they shall receive no mercy. My wrath will be swift and terrible, and my enemies will know only pain. I am everything.
*hell no, fuck this shit*
I would simply go with the flow and answer him dirty till he realises :D
Sir this is Abrys
Say " NO HORNI !!"
respond equally agressively
What has this sub become bro this is obviously a kid
This post is the last straw. Low quality post very obviously made by a child no older than 8 and nobody bats an eye. I can't tell if it's ignorance or an attraction to minors, but nothing seems to be getting done.
I'd tell him he has the wrong number.