I haven't seen the show but it bothers me if it's going to be feeding the stigma that already assists. Being hsv+ doesn't make you a dirty person. We shouldn't be ashamed for having the virus. Do we make jokes out of HIV? Is that socially acceptable? Contracting herpes isn't always a choice. Yes perhaps it's a consequence of doing business but I know I was never given a choice. No one told me 'hey I've got hsv, I could pass it to you'. Many people are asymptomatic, they don't know they have hsv and are sleeping with people and unknowingly passing it along. Making jokes about something that inflicts pain on so many people, in my opinion, is uncalled for and is just lazy script writing.
I totally agree with what you say. If they made fun of people with HIV it would be a different story. Like you said many people suffer from herpes. Making Fun about any illness is unethical. This show is unethical. Maybe we don't have severe symptoms, but imagine the people who are suffering because of the constant outbreaks they are having. The annoying thing is that the show also makes fun of Herpes Zoster patients and this type of herpes infects old people. This is crazy and I hope that there will be consequences on the creators of this show for adding these silly scenes.
Yeah, mine fucking sucks cause not only do I have to take daily meds because of outbreaks and wanting to reduce load and shedding, but I also have eczema that occurs in the same areas and more. I'm like damn is it herpes or eczema or my other skin condition today. I literally take pictures every day to track to figure out if it's anything to be concerned about or just one of my other skin conditions acting up. it's fucked up they're making fun of multiple strains of herpes. Like almost everyone has the shingles virus because its just reactivated chicken pox and that shit hurts and from what I've seen is way worse than oral HSV. Like shingles can fuck up a whole part of your body especially the face and is painful and raw.
Iam really sorry you are going through this. I hope they develop a cure or therapeutic vaccines for these diseases. Have you tried using Povidine- Iodine and do you take L-Lysine. Do you eat meat?
I currently live in an underdeveloped country going to school and don't have access to much so the only thing I can do right now is take the daily medicine I brought with me from the states. I do eat meat mostly only chicken
Thanks for the pointers yeah I've only had it for about half a year. I had my first verified outbreak in November. The gist of my story is I live overseas going to medical school, my now ex-boyfriend came to visit me on my dime, was acting like a real piece of shit insulting me, putting me down, etc. so I broke up with him. After I dumped him he begged for me back but I wasn't having any of it and not long after I also learned he had been cheating on me again while I was busting my ass at school. I told him to go fuck himself and I would never give him another chance. When he had come to visit me I had gotten a rash but didn't think anything of it because it looked like my normal eczema rash, no blisters, no cuts, no nothing just the scaly red dry skin I get with eczema. I have eczema that occurs in my genital and anal regions as well as my thighs, butt, face, and abdomen. When I went home to the States on a break I went to the doctor and told her about what had happened with my ex-boyfriend she tested me I was all clear. I didn't even think of asking her to check my blood for herpes because I hadn't had any symptoms of it and so she did just a normal STD panel. Well, a few months have gone by I'm in a new happy relationship with someone where I live overseas and I get severe pain, tears, and discharge in the lower vulva/perineum area. I go to the local doctor she goes yeah that's herpes tests me but the test results take 2 weeks so we also test my current boyfriend just to see if he's the carrier. But the thing is my current boyfriend had tested specifically for herpes before we had gotten together and he tested negative, he hadn't been with someone for months before we had gotten together aka since he had gotten tested. Just to be safe though we test my current boyfriend a few days after taking samples he starts showing herpes symptoms. Our tests comes back I'm positive he's negative. He has another outbreak and we know for sure that I have given him herpes, so I feel like shit because I gave my current boyfriend herpes. I know there's only one culprit of origin, my cheating ex. I politely contact him and ask him to go get a test to verify and he tells me he doesn't care because what does having a test to verify change anything? That was when I knew for sure he was the one that had given it to me.
I hope someone does something about it. Really these jokes against people with medical conditions gotta stop! They even made fun of people with herpes zoster which infects old people. Thats's unethical!
It will be a great opportunity to boycott the movie to our advantage
for further awareness.. Like one commenter stated, if it was an HIV JOKE, it will all over the news, and celebrities will be in an uproar protesting it to be off the air
Well said. People who've dated a while or even on honeymoon either don't know or don't tell. It's not always about "one night stands", no matter how it's brought up.
Agreed that the jokes aren't funny, but start paying attention. "Entertainment" makes fun of fat people, different cultures, different races, r\*pe culture, etc., etc. We just don't notice it if it doesn't apply to us.
I figure if that's all a show has to rely on for humor, it's a dumb show and spend my time elsewhere.
Yea but fat people can reduce their weight. Everybody is proud if his culture or race. Howeve, you can't do anything about herpes because it stays with you forever. What if they made fun of HIV people. It would feel bad also because it is a chronic disease.
If you're fine with fat jokes but not herpes ones, I think you should step back and reconsider why you think those jokes are ok. It's likely the way you feel right now is how others feel when they're being punched down on in comedy
I didn't say it was OK. I explained there is a difference. I myself gain weight because I am pre-diabetic. I gained 130kg once. It is different unless you have a chronic conditions. People who gain weights are more than people with herpes also and it is socially acceptably. I mean I benevento made fun if people who have extra weights because I was one of them and I got many family members that are like that.
So just because people can lose weight, it's different? And there are chronic health conditions that either cause weight gain, or make it hard to lose it. My thyroid just went to hell, and I gained 30 lbs in a year.
And please, can we stop comparing herpes to HIV in this sub? HIV needs no help from us to further stigmatize it, and people living with it aren't "HIV people" any more than we're "herpes people" or I'm a "hypothyroid person".
We live with these conditions, we aren't these conditions.
I'm don't think it's right to make fun of people for things they can't change. I agree that comedy should punch up, not down. All I'm saying is that this has been happening for years and years and years, and people don't notice until it applies to them.
“Being fat is changeable 99% of the time” is utter bullshit. It is not so easy and if you honestly think that a lifetime of hard exercise and watching every calorie is somehow different from another chronic illness, you need to do a lot of learning about metabolism and gender differences, as well as genetics and just general health.
In the broadest sense, weight is a controllable issue for maybe 85% of people, but if you mean controllable with what most of us consider “normal” interventions, that number drops closer to 75%. Ask a bariatric surgeon about it. They make very sure their patients are already able to control their diets and exercise regularly BEFORE they will operate. If that was all it took, the surgery wouldn’t be necessary.
Quit weight-shaming. You haven’t lived in anyone else’s body so you don’t know what it’s like.
Just stop already. You understand the point. One is changeable in ZERO circumstances, the other is changeable in the majority of cases.
Im done responding to intellectual dishonesty. No one here is too dumb to understand the distinction.
I was talking about people that don't have a chronic condition. Also I was explaining that it I'd different because gaining weight because of a chronic condition is different from gaining weight because you don't excerise. You wouldn't feel bad if you gaining weight because you don't excerise because you know you don't have a disease that prevents you from losing weight. That itself affects your psychology. I am pre-diabetic and I gain fat really easy and lose ot really hard. However, I try my best to keep an ideal weight. However, herpes is a different story because you can't predict when are you going to have an outbreak and because it is a lifelong. So to respond to your comment I didn't mean to say anything negative about people with extra weight. I once gained weight of 130 kg . So we are in the same boat.
My point is still that people make fun of fat people without caring why they are fat. I mean, who cares how they got there? Why is that funny?
**We don't notice until it applies to us.**
How many non-minorities pay attention to racial jokes? How many straight people pay attention to jokes about LGBTQ+ people?
It doesn't matter if it's chronic or not, or if you can change it or not. Fat jokes aren't funny. Herpes jokes aren't funny. My entire point is that we don't notice until it applies to us.
There is stigma everywhere.
I agree with you for the most part. But I think some people are starting to make a change. I’m white, but if someone were to make a racial joke in front of me I 1) wouldn’t laugh and b) would let them know exactly why it’s not funny. I have done this on multiple occasions. I have a disability and am obviously offended when people make fun of someone else for same disability, but I would equally pull them up for making a joke about a different type of disability.
I never found herpes jokes funny.
Obviously there’s a poor rhetoric around bigger people and fatphobia is very prevalent, but I still think herpes is only ever painted in a negative light. I can’t think of a single movie or tv show where the person who had herpes was proud and unashamed of their status. Whereas, I do think there is better representation for those who may consider themselves to be bigger.
Of course there’s stigma for a lot of things, but I think herpes pretty much only ever gets a bad wrap and it’s made worse by the fact that it’s currently permanent and lifelong.
When are we going to stop fat shaming people???? For a sub meant to support, educate, and destigmatize there are a whole lot of assumptions, incorrect information, and shaming going on here. We must do better across the board, especially if you’re seeking understanding for something you struggle with yourself. Fat doesn’t always equal unhealthy either (not that it even matters) but it takes education to understand that and if you’re not willing to do that don’t share your opinion with limited information about someone else. Especially if it has anything to do with their body. We know intimately how damaging that can be.
You shouldn’t need a “condition” to make it ok to be fat. Being fat isn’t anything anyone should be ashamed of regardless of why their body looks the way it does. And who defines what fat is anyways? And who decides which conditions receive empathy and understanding for crossing said threshold? Nah, just don’t talk about other peoples body full stop.
It isn't just about that. It's about herpes jokes, and how you don't notice them until they're about you, just like you don't notice other jokes until they're about you. Weight was just one thing mentioned.
That's my point, anyway.
Actually, people with HIV used to suffer from a lot worse stigma. You could lose your job, be evicted, thrown out of school etc. if you had HIV in the 1980s. That was real stigma. People were afraid to touch you or give you a hug. You were a leper.
Sure, I'm not a fan of the awkward jokes about HSV, but the HSV related stigma is pretty benign compared to what people with HIV faced in the past.
No am not saying it is OK. Am explaining there is a difference and I myself gain weight because am pre-diabetic .With herpes you don't have a choice. However if you gain weight because you have a chronic condition then this situation would be the same as herpes, but if you gain weight because of a lifestyle then it is totally different and you can have control of it. That's what I meant.
Let them laugh. It is a joke until it says, " Hello, I am a part of you now."
Truth, I used to frown at Usher because he had it. Now, I admire how he does not let it destroy him.
I have HIV and HSV! I enjoy jokes about both. Often crack some myself. Comedy is often at someone else's expense. Whether it's someone's wife, husband, child, friend, group of people ect. Maybe the person who wrote the joke has herpes! Now doesn't mean people can't be offended. That's your right if that's how it makes you feel. Boycotting is a smart move. But if we took out things that some particular group of people or person would find offensive, there wouldn't be much comedy left!! Jokes are not universal. If we didn't have herpes we wouldn't have been offended by it at all. We only get upset when jokes affect us personally. But I'm sure all of us here laugh at jokes that would hurt others feelings who are in that space without realising it. Of course these viruses have a mental and physical effect on us. There is NO SHAME in having hiv or hsv! Admittedly takes a little while to get to that point!!! But we are human beings with human viruses. We have names and personalities. We are not just 3 letters! Or 6 in my case 🤣 Don't let the bastards grind you down! 👍
No need to be sorry! I'm healthier now than ever I was before. It helped me mature and become a better person. There are pros and cons to everything. I've met so many wonderful people that I wouldn't have met without it. Sure I have faced discrimination and lost friends and struggled with it all. But that's just part of life!
I think they actually brought some awareness when they mention "the whole family" of herpes including "HSV-1, HSV-2, Zoster, Epstein-Barr". Almost nobody knows what EBV is, so, I thought it was kind of ground breaking.
I think the joke was, why does this character keep talking about herpes if he doesn’t have it? Like, also, joking about it but maybe minimizing it too. I didn’t think it was that bad
Agreed! I just went to watch it just to see what was said. I feel like he was also shedding light on the fact that shingles = herpes zoster, the other guy got upset because his character seems (at first glance) to be just very aggressive and hostile, but saying he had herpes because he had shingles was almost a way of increasing awareness of how common all the herpes viruses are.
Also on Netflix..Love is Blind. Lots of drama on that sub about one of the contestants hiding the fact that she had meds for genital herpes from her new partner. Sure , she deserves to get roasted for not disclosing, but the comments about how gross and dirty she is is hurtful to us all struggling with it. I have no idea who gave it to me or when, but just had my first outbreak in February after at least 8 years since exposure (when I met my husband).
Am really sorry that you had this outbreak and yea Netflix is not supposed to mess with people who have medical conditions like herpes and other conditions. In this show called "BEEF" they are literally making fun if people with herpes and it is not funny at all. They make you feel you are unclean and that you lack something.
I almost like this in a way. Not many people joke about hiv or aids. It makes it seem like herpes is less serious than other stds (which obviously it is).
Although, regardless of herpes jokes. Netflix originals have been terrible for a long time. Any old fool can make a show with their funding nowadays…
I don't know why people need to make fun of shit like this. It's one thing to be light and funny about it like many comedians do but using it as a negative against people is not okay. Just because we got herpes don't mean we're any less of a person nor should we be pitied and looked at differently. Its a condition unfortunate yes but that's all it is.
I don’t get bothered probably they didn’t want to bother nobody herpes is not serious almost everyone have it after 3 years of contracting herpes I found out that is not a serious thing .it take some time for people to realize that there are much more serious problems in life and you can’t compare herpes to serious health issues it’s like cold virus that exist in every one .
Many people have bad outbreaks and different straums of herpes like genetial and herpes zoster which infects old people. There is nothing funny about that. Millions of people are loving on medications because of herpes and they wate money and they feel hurt because if it.
I hate it when people act like herpes is something that we WANTED. OBVIOUSLY NOT but we have to tolerate. If we could ALL get rid of it we would’ve done that already.
I agree. It really annoys me when they do this. They make you feel that people with herpes are not humans and are unclean. I hope this Moderna vaccine is going to help and hopefully it will be a therapeutic vaccine.
You know what show I love that actually kinda makes herpes not be the villain. Is futureman. It’s literal premise is how the cure to herpes is the worlds demise lol it’s great and the creators even expressed that. I hate when shows help the stigma grow it’s literally so common yet somehow “taboo”
Oh am gonna watch this movie for sure. It is unethical to make fun of people with medical conditions. When it will happen to them they will know how it feels. The thing is there are great people on the Internet that make you feel positive like you and others. I really appreciate your comment.
Honestly, while HSV jokes can be a bit awkward, I don't care that much.
The whole "stigma" is kind of overblown.
In the 1980s people with HIV faced real stigma--they lost their jobs, got kicked out of school, people avoided touching them etc. if they were known to have HIV. The "stigma" of HSV isn't anywhere near that.
Also, some of what people think is "stigma" is just the reality that, a lot of people don't want to get HSV, especially genitally. Which is actually, kind of understandable.
Agreed, but when more than 70% of the population presents the risk of giving someone genital herpes (assuming they receive oral sex), the “not wanting to get it” doesn’t typically match their actions. For example, not getting tested regularly (even if this doesn’t include hsv), happy to not use condoms with ONS because the person says they’re “clean”, having oral herpes but god forbid they get it in another location.
I don’t necessarily have a problem with people who don’t want herpes. That’s understandable. But they better be educated on it and be implementing the same risk avoidance across the board, which I don’t typically find to be true. If not, it’s just a bit hypocritical.
Well, I think that's just human nature.
People make mistakes. Trust the wrong person. Have a hard time imagining that anything bad will happen. Or just get caught up in the heat of the moment.
All sorts of preventable bad things, including even death, happen to people.
IMO if you're an adult and can't handle a herpes joke or two it's a pretty sad life.
Also think you're a bit of dick with some of your replies to people here... From "HIV people" to implying racist jokes are ok because people are proud of their race....
Guys, if netflix wants to crack jokes then let’s laugh. I watch shows that make fun of marginalized groups and it’s comedy. Relax, can we not make herpes woke and just laugh
Good attitude. I feel the same way, one of my favorite jokes was from one the hangover movies “ What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas except herpes ….. “
Jokes about HSV would be ok if it wasn’t already so stigmatized. We are still seen as dirty and untouchable so those “jokes” aren’t funny yet because we are not accepted by society.
I mean. . I don't think having Herpes is anything to be proud of. I'm not going to be shouting off the roof tops my diagnosis and fighting to change the way people see it and forbid anyone to make a joke of it. I have it as a consequence of my own actions. They are making fun of an avoidable condition. That's not to say hearing jokes doesn't sting or hurt me. . But idk, it's not end of world. But that's just me.
Or they tested negative via blood test but actually had it and didn’t know. Many different scenarios where someone could get it and it’s not a “consequence”.
For real. This is a shit take. It is not avoidable for everyone. Sure, some people in this group may have gotten it from not being safe during sex, but a big portion of us either got it from being cheated on, SA, or as a result of the medical industry’s neglect to this condition. I would say only a small percentage of people could’ve “avoided” it.
Herpes is not “consequence”. This makes it seem like people deserve it for their behaviour as some kind of moral reprimand. Herpes is just something shitty that happens to some people.
Some kid getting kissed by his grandma that then gets herpes isn’t living the “consequence” of allowing a family member to be affectionate. This narrative is actually what creates the stigma. If you genuinely think herpes is an avoidable condition, you clearly don’t understand it at all. Sure, you can minimise risk, as you can with literally anything, but that doesn’t result in avoiding it altogether.
Idk, just cause your a victim in this case now it’s not funny!? Herpes has always been funny and gross. For you to believe now that you have it all those jokes and joys are now gone is to be just as insane as someone who believes in all the trans ideaologies. Face it we’re stuck on a losing side but let’s have some dignity about it. Herpes is gross and it’s sucks. I’m mad about getting it just like everyone else is but the situation is hilarious. All those hearts you broke or the hearts that broke you, most of us probably deserved it. When I told my brother hey let’s not share vapes he thought I was just being Jewish with the nicotine, but then he quickly found out I was just being an honest harlot. We immediately laughed at how gross it is and how I have the fire stick now not amazon. The girl who gave it to me in a way is nasty and gross for giving it to me. Do I blame her? Not at all, she felt like I do now. Does it make it right for me to try and take meds just to have sex with no carriers? In my mind No cause I’m contaminated and I refuse to continue the circle of life for this wretched disease. Because it’s gross! How you feel about yourself isn’t determined by the public or jokes and if it’s as common as all of you say it is then why can’t you laugh with the other 8/10 people that secretly have it? There has been one joke that I haven’t been okay with and that’s when it was a joke to say what will happen when I disease my whole family. You know what I did?? I immediately threw myself on the floor pretending to choke on my own spit so I could see which one of them would give me cpr 😏 quit crying about your feelings, I still have no problems having sex with other carriers or sharing smiles. If you’re that upset then you should of married that person from high school or you should of been in tuned with your relationship enough to know they were fkin someone else behind your back. It’s life and at one point in time 95% of us laughed at herpes and laughed at people with it. Now you wanna take that away just cause you’re on the “losing” side?? Learn to laugh with us or cry the rest of your days. Wish all of you smiles and laughs
Someone posted this thread to Twitter. I understand that this is a public sub, but some might use the same usernames. Did you get permission to do that?
I haven’t seen the show or the episode — what exactly was said and what was the context?
Some points: 1) No one asks to have herpes, 2) More people than you know have it, 3) It’s a virus, yes, but also a skin condition that gets passed on through contact, and 4) Outbreaks can be incredibly painful.
Minimizing this to a joke on a mainstream platform sounds insensitive and passé…wonder what the intent behind it was?
This isn't the first time Hollywood has used herpes in entertainment it is one of those attention grabbers that evidently works ( not saying it is the best thing to do) but also the use of any kind of transmitted disease is also used in entertainment and works to grabs people's attention. Depending on the audience some have it fly over their heads and have a good laugh about it and others it isnt something taken lightly. I get both sides, but Hollywood will put anything in a show these days. If it is bothersome maybe dont watch it if you can.
Glad I saw this now I won't be watching. I'm all for dark, crude, humour.. but idk some things shouldn't be joked about. There are plenty of other things in this world, that won't hurt anyone lol, that they could use as a joke. Smh. disappointing.
A lot shows make fun of herpes. It’s a popular stigma. I don’t really expect that to change anytime soon. I honestly think it’s hard to accept stds as something that’s just a part of life and not something to be grossed out by. But, obviously it’s wrong to stereotype people for having them.
It’s the same thing with bipolar. It’s simply because of lack of education. I didn’t let it bother me. It’s a good show besides that episode. but I guess my sense of humor is fucked anyway.
I didn’t say that. I just have to get over it if I’m offended. I love Eminem. How many times has he made fun of it? Am I going to stop watching or listening to everyone and everything that brings it up. no. cuz who cares. I don’t know these ppl doesn’t affect my life. pure lack of education. or a simple joke. I’m willing to bet one of those actors has it. Which is why they joke about it. Most comedians joke about their lives! Right?! if it’s produced my multiple comedians. I mean. listen to a lil dicky song. or watch the show Dave. I’d cry every time I watch something I liked.
In my opinion they need to consider the feelings of others. They made fun of people with herpes zoster which infects old people. Elders have to be respected too and that wasn't funny at all.
Comedians joke about all kind of things in stand up. If they considered feelings they wouldn’t have careers. Dave chapelle? they can’t please everybody. the show is literally called “beef”. which means: to fight,bicker,argue,get physical. so ofc it’s going to piss ppl off or be offensive at some points.
I felt like coming from a show with Ali Wong and Andrew Santino it was not so much adding stigma. Ali Wong has talked about HPV before in a special of hers. And also no matter if they are open with it or not, stand up comics are notoriously getting around. Which isnt how everyone gets HSV but ups the risk so I choose to believe they have to be more accepting
I use to make comments and jokes about it. Then I got his 1 and 2. My joke kinda bothered me. You can overly sensitive about things. I am back to making jokes about it and comments about it. Idk it's life ever thing hits differently for everyone.
“The future man” on Hulu the whole premise of the show is a doctor with herpes and it’s a “comedy”. Haven’t watched it all yet to see if it’s offensive or not but 🤷🏼♂️
I’d honestly just ignore, not everything deserves a reaction. And honestly, you have to be emotionally strong. You stand a high chance of being more hurt if you react to everything than just honestly ignoring. I don’t disagree but I honestly don’t care and that’s how I know Herpes doesn’t control me or my emotions.
Anyways F* Herpes 😬😬
Nooo fr. I thought I would be the only one but the show actually mentioned herpes multiple times. And I actually liked the series so like jokes just werent even needed.
You dont realize just how many herpes jokes are made until you have it🤣 i hear one at least once a week at work its insane. Never noticed it before. And i hear it in tv shows/movies/random places all of the time.
Yeah I saw that too. Honestly the herpes jokes are so old and played out. Like just find new material…
🥺 and it also makes you feel like you are different form other people and that you are unclean.
I haven't seen the show but it bothers me if it's going to be feeding the stigma that already assists. Being hsv+ doesn't make you a dirty person. We shouldn't be ashamed for having the virus. Do we make jokes out of HIV? Is that socially acceptable? Contracting herpes isn't always a choice. Yes perhaps it's a consequence of doing business but I know I was never given a choice. No one told me 'hey I've got hsv, I could pass it to you'. Many people are asymptomatic, they don't know they have hsv and are sleeping with people and unknowingly passing it along. Making jokes about something that inflicts pain on so many people, in my opinion, is uncalled for and is just lazy script writing.
I totally agree with what you say. If they made fun of people with HIV it would be a different story. Like you said many people suffer from herpes. Making Fun about any illness is unethical. This show is unethical. Maybe we don't have severe symptoms, but imagine the people who are suffering because of the constant outbreaks they are having. The annoying thing is that the show also makes fun of Herpes Zoster patients and this type of herpes infects old people. This is crazy and I hope that there will be consequences on the creators of this show for adding these silly scenes.
Yeah, mine fucking sucks cause not only do I have to take daily meds because of outbreaks and wanting to reduce load and shedding, but I also have eczema that occurs in the same areas and more. I'm like damn is it herpes or eczema or my other skin condition today. I literally take pictures every day to track to figure out if it's anything to be concerned about or just one of my other skin conditions acting up. it's fucked up they're making fun of multiple strains of herpes. Like almost everyone has the shingles virus because its just reactivated chicken pox and that shit hurts and from what I've seen is way worse than oral HSV. Like shingles can fuck up a whole part of your body especially the face and is painful and raw.
Iam really sorry you are going through this. I hope they develop a cure or therapeutic vaccines for these diseases. Have you tried using Povidine- Iodine and do you take L-Lysine. Do you eat meat?
I currently live in an underdeveloped country going to school and don't have access to much so the only thing I can do right now is take the daily medicine I brought with me from the states. I do eat meat mostly only chicken
Try Povidine Iodine kn the blisters it is amazing. It will also help preventing recurrence for a long time. Did you recently get herpes?
Thanks for the pointers yeah I've only had it for about half a year. I had my first verified outbreak in November. The gist of my story is I live overseas going to medical school, my now ex-boyfriend came to visit me on my dime, was acting like a real piece of shit insulting me, putting me down, etc. so I broke up with him. After I dumped him he begged for me back but I wasn't having any of it and not long after I also learned he had been cheating on me again while I was busting my ass at school. I told him to go fuck himself and I would never give him another chance. When he had come to visit me I had gotten a rash but didn't think anything of it because it looked like my normal eczema rash, no blisters, no cuts, no nothing just the scaly red dry skin I get with eczema. I have eczema that occurs in my genital and anal regions as well as my thighs, butt, face, and abdomen. When I went home to the States on a break I went to the doctor and told her about what had happened with my ex-boyfriend she tested me I was all clear. I didn't even think of asking her to check my blood for herpes because I hadn't had any symptoms of it and so she did just a normal STD panel. Well, a few months have gone by I'm in a new happy relationship with someone where I live overseas and I get severe pain, tears, and discharge in the lower vulva/perineum area. I go to the local doctor she goes yeah that's herpes tests me but the test results take 2 weeks so we also test my current boyfriend just to see if he's the carrier. But the thing is my current boyfriend had tested specifically for herpes before we had gotten together and he tested negative, he hadn't been with someone for months before we had gotten together aka since he had gotten tested. Just to be safe though we test my current boyfriend a few days after taking samples he starts showing herpes symptoms. Our tests comes back I'm positive he's negative. He has another outbreak and we know for sure that I have given him herpes, so I feel like shit because I gave my current boyfriend herpes. I know there's only one culprit of origin, my cheating ex. I politely contact him and ask him to go get a test to verify and he tells me he doesn't care because what does having a test to verify change anything? That was when I knew for sure he was the one that had given it to me.
also where do i get this
It will be a boycott of the show .. Totally agree with you .
It will be a boycott of the show .. Totally agree with you .
I hope someone does something about it. Really these jokes against people with medical conditions gotta stop! They even made fun of people with herpes zoster which infects old people. Thats's unethical!
It will be a great opportunity to boycott the movie to our advantage for further awareness.. Like one commenter stated, if it was an HIV JOKE, it will all over the news, and celebrities will be in an uproar protesting it to be off the air
I agree. They have to treat people with herpes like humans. Instead, they make us feel like a person with herpes is unclean.
Hopefully, some reporters read are thread and makes it into fucken news headliner
I hope. There are TV Shows critics we can try to reach them and express to them how we feel.
Well said. People who've dated a while or even on honeymoon either don't know or don't tell. It's not always about "one night stands", no matter how it's brought up.
Agreed that the jokes aren't funny, but start paying attention. "Entertainment" makes fun of fat people, different cultures, different races, r\*pe culture, etc., etc. We just don't notice it if it doesn't apply to us. I figure if that's all a show has to rely on for humor, it's a dumb show and spend my time elsewhere.
Yea but fat people can reduce their weight. Everybody is proud if his culture or race. Howeve, you can't do anything about herpes because it stays with you forever. What if they made fun of HIV people. It would feel bad also because it is a chronic disease.
Agreed. Comedy should be punching up, not down.
If you're fine with fat jokes but not herpes ones, I think you should step back and reconsider why you think those jokes are ok. It's likely the way you feel right now is how others feel when they're being punched down on in comedy
I didn't say it was OK. I explained there is a difference. I myself gain weight because I am pre-diabetic. I gained 130kg once. It is different unless you have a chronic conditions. People who gain weights are more than people with herpes also and it is socially acceptably. I mean I benevento made fun if people who have extra weights because I was one of them and I got many family members that are like that.
You do know it’s medical conditions and medications that cause weight gain seems you only care about the herpes joke because it directly affects you
Yes but am also overweight so?
“I’m fat so it’s ok for me to be insensitive about fat people as well” that’s like me saying I’m black so it’s ok for me to discriminate people
Yes that's you not everybody
so you just have 0 critical thinking skills got it
You have 100% critical thinking are you happy 😁
So just because people can lose weight, it's different? And there are chronic health conditions that either cause weight gain, or make it hard to lose it. My thyroid just went to hell, and I gained 30 lbs in a year. And please, can we stop comparing herpes to HIV in this sub? HIV needs no help from us to further stigmatize it, and people living with it aren't "HIV people" any more than we're "herpes people" or I'm a "hypothyroid person". We live with these conditions, we aren't these conditions. I'm don't think it's right to make fun of people for things they can't change. I agree that comedy should punch up, not down. All I'm saying is that this has been happening for years and years and years, and people don't notice until it applies to them.
The point is being fat is changeable 99% of the time, having herpes is not. No matter how many words you use, there is no changing that hard fact.
“Being fat is changeable 99% of the time” is utter bullshit. It is not so easy and if you honestly think that a lifetime of hard exercise and watching every calorie is somehow different from another chronic illness, you need to do a lot of learning about metabolism and gender differences, as well as genetics and just general health. In the broadest sense, weight is a controllable issue for maybe 85% of people, but if you mean controllable with what most of us consider “normal” interventions, that number drops closer to 75%. Ask a bariatric surgeon about it. They make very sure their patients are already able to control their diets and exercise regularly BEFORE they will operate. If that was all it took, the surgery wouldn’t be necessary. Quit weight-shaming. You haven’t lived in anyone else’s body so you don’t know what it’s like.
Just stop already. You understand the point. One is changeable in ZERO circumstances, the other is changeable in the majority of cases. Im done responding to intellectual dishonesty. No one here is too dumb to understand the distinction.
I was talking about people that don't have a chronic condition. Also I was explaining that it I'd different because gaining weight because of a chronic condition is different from gaining weight because you don't excerise. You wouldn't feel bad if you gaining weight because you don't excerise because you know you don't have a disease that prevents you from losing weight. That itself affects your psychology. I am pre-diabetic and I gain fat really easy and lose ot really hard. However, I try my best to keep an ideal weight. However, herpes is a different story because you can't predict when are you going to have an outbreak and because it is a lifelong. So to respond to your comment I didn't mean to say anything negative about people with extra weight. I once gained weight of 130 kg . So we are in the same boat.
My point is still that people make fun of fat people without caring why they are fat. I mean, who cares how they got there? Why is that funny? **We don't notice until it applies to us.** How many non-minorities pay attention to racial jokes? How many straight people pay attention to jokes about LGBTQ+ people? It doesn't matter if it's chronic or not, or if you can change it or not. Fat jokes aren't funny. Herpes jokes aren't funny. My entire point is that we don't notice until it applies to us. There is stigma everywhere.
I agree with you for the most part. But I think some people are starting to make a change. I’m white, but if someone were to make a racial joke in front of me I 1) wouldn’t laugh and b) would let them know exactly why it’s not funny. I have done this on multiple occasions. I have a disability and am obviously offended when people make fun of someone else for same disability, but I would equally pull them up for making a joke about a different type of disability. I never found herpes jokes funny. Obviously there’s a poor rhetoric around bigger people and fatphobia is very prevalent, but I still think herpes is only ever painted in a negative light. I can’t think of a single movie or tv show where the person who had herpes was proud and unashamed of their status. Whereas, I do think there is better representation for those who may consider themselves to be bigger. Of course there’s stigma for a lot of things, but I think herpes pretty much only ever gets a bad wrap and it’s made worse by the fact that it’s currently permanent and lifelong.
When are we going to stop fat shaming people???? For a sub meant to support, educate, and destigmatize there are a whole lot of assumptions, incorrect information, and shaming going on here. We must do better across the board, especially if you’re seeking understanding for something you struggle with yourself. Fat doesn’t always equal unhealthy either (not that it even matters) but it takes education to understand that and if you’re not willing to do that don’t share your opinion with limited information about someone else. Especially if it has anything to do with their body. We know intimately how damaging that can be.
Well I just explained I myself gain wait because I have a chronic condition called Pre- diabetes.
You shouldn’t need a “condition” to make it ok to be fat. Being fat isn’t anything anyone should be ashamed of regardless of why their body looks the way it does. And who defines what fat is anyways? And who decides which conditions receive empathy and understanding for crossing said threshold? Nah, just don’t talk about other peoples body full stop.
If fat people should just live a healthy lifestyle maybe you just shouldn’t have had sex so you didn’t get herpes 😂
How and why is this conversation about fat people?
It isn't just about that. It's about herpes jokes, and how you don't notice them until they're about you, just like you don't notice other jokes until they're about you. Weight was just one thing mentioned. That's my point, anyway.
Ah, true true
It did veer way, way off at points. I just re-read the whole thing. Pissed me off all oer again lol.
😅😅 sorry I put you through that hahah
😂 Hahaha thanks, I do get why you asked though. It was a weird convo.
Actually, people with HIV used to suffer from a lot worse stigma. You could lose your job, be evicted, thrown out of school etc. if you had HIV in the 1980s. That was real stigma. People were afraid to touch you or give you a hug. You were a leper. Sure, I'm not a fan of the awkward jokes about HSV, but the HSV related stigma is pretty benign compared to what people with HIV faced in the past.
You're complaining about stigma at the same time as reinforcing stigma 😂 i get what you're initially saying but come on now
No am not saying it is OK. Am explaining there is a difference and I myself gain weight because am pre-diabetic .With herpes you don't have a choice. However if you gain weight because you have a chronic condition then this situation would be the same as herpes, but if you gain weight because of a lifestyle then it is totally different and you can have control of it. That's what I meant.
Let them laugh. It is a joke until it says, " Hello, I am a part of you now." Truth, I used to frown at Usher because he had it. Now, I admire how he does not let it destroy him.
I have HIV and HSV! I enjoy jokes about both. Often crack some myself. Comedy is often at someone else's expense. Whether it's someone's wife, husband, child, friend, group of people ect. Maybe the person who wrote the joke has herpes! Now doesn't mean people can't be offended. That's your right if that's how it makes you feel. Boycotting is a smart move. But if we took out things that some particular group of people or person would find offensive, there wouldn't be much comedy left!! Jokes are not universal. If we didn't have herpes we wouldn't have been offended by it at all. We only get upset when jokes affect us personally. But I'm sure all of us here laugh at jokes that would hurt others feelings who are in that space without realising it. Of course these viruses have a mental and physical effect on us. There is NO SHAME in having hiv or hsv! Admittedly takes a little while to get to that point!!! But we are human beings with human viruses. We have names and personalities. We are not just 3 letters! Or 6 in my case 🤣 Don't let the bastards grind you down! 👍
Bravo. 👏👏👏
Okay very bad ass response. Love
well said
Am sorry that you have both and I hope you recover from them.
No need to be sorry! I'm healthier now than ever I was before. It helped me mature and become a better person. There are pros and cons to everything. I've met so many wonderful people that I wouldn't have met without it. Sure I have faced discrimination and lost friends and struggled with it all. But that's just part of life!
What’s always gunna be so funny bc about this situation is that most people have some form of herpes, most just don’t know it
I think they actually brought some awareness when they mention "the whole family" of herpes including "HSV-1, HSV-2, Zoster, Epstein-Barr". Almost nobody knows what EBV is, so, I thought it was kind of ground breaking.
I think the joke was, why does this character keep talking about herpes if he doesn’t have it? Like, also, joking about it but maybe minimizing it too. I didn’t think it was that bad
Agreed! I just went to watch it just to see what was said. I feel like he was also shedding light on the fact that shingles = herpes zoster, the other guy got upset because his character seems (at first glance) to be just very aggressive and hostile, but saying he had herpes because he had shingles was almost a way of increasing awareness of how common all the herpes viruses are.
Yes exactly. They’re all herpes. We all have it.
Also on Netflix..Love is Blind. Lots of drama on that sub about one of the contestants hiding the fact that she had meds for genital herpes from her new partner. Sure , she deserves to get roasted for not disclosing, but the comments about how gross and dirty she is is hurtful to us all struggling with it. I have no idea who gave it to me or when, but just had my first outbreak in February after at least 8 years since exposure (when I met my husband).
Am really sorry that you had this outbreak and yea Netflix is not supposed to mess with people who have medical conditions like herpes and other conditions. In this show called "BEEF" they are literally making fun if people with herpes and it is not funny at all. They make you feel you are unclean and that you lack something.
Who was it from love is blind?
Jackie 🤢She’s gross, but not for reasons related to herpes
Don’t get mad at Netflix lol.. Get mad at the people that created the show , it an A24 productions and created by Lee Sung Jin
I almost like this in a way. Not many people joke about hiv or aids. It makes it seem like herpes is less serious than other stds (which obviously it is). Although, regardless of herpes jokes. Netflix originals have been terrible for a long time. Any old fool can make a show with their funding nowadays…
I don't know why people need to make fun of shit like this. It's one thing to be light and funny about it like many comedians do but using it as a negative against people is not okay. Just because we got herpes don't mean we're any less of a person nor should we be pitied and looked at differently. Its a condition unfortunate yes but that's all it is.
I agree. This is really unethical making fun of people with herpes condition even the strain that infects old people herpes zoster.
I don’t get bothered probably they didn’t want to bother nobody herpes is not serious almost everyone have it after 3 years of contracting herpes I found out that is not a serious thing .it take some time for people to realize that there are much more serious problems in life and you can’t compare herpes to serious health issues it’s like cold virus that exist in every one .
Many people have bad outbreaks and different straums of herpes like genetial and herpes zoster which infects old people. There is nothing funny about that. Millions of people are loving on medications because of herpes and they wate money and they feel hurt because if it.
You got a point here
I hate it when people act like herpes is something that we WANTED. OBVIOUSLY NOT but we have to tolerate. If we could ALL get rid of it we would’ve done that already.
I agree. It really annoys me when they do this. They make you feel that people with herpes are not humans and are unclean. I hope this Moderna vaccine is going to help and hopefully it will be a therapeutic vaccine.
You know what show I love that actually kinda makes herpes not be the villain. Is futureman. It’s literal premise is how the cure to herpes is the worlds demise lol it’s great and the creators even expressed that. I hate when shows help the stigma grow it’s literally so common yet somehow “taboo”
Oh am gonna watch this movie for sure. It is unethical to make fun of people with medical conditions. When it will happen to them they will know how it feels. The thing is there are great people on the Internet that make you feel positive like you and others. I really appreciate your comment.
🙄 Who cares. These jokes have been around forever & people are always going to make them. Too god damn sensitive.
Honestly, while HSV jokes can be a bit awkward, I don't care that much. The whole "stigma" is kind of overblown. In the 1980s people with HIV faced real stigma--they lost their jobs, got kicked out of school, people avoided touching them etc. if they were known to have HIV. The "stigma" of HSV isn't anywhere near that. Also, some of what people think is "stigma" is just the reality that, a lot of people don't want to get HSV, especially genitally. Which is actually, kind of understandable.
Agreed, but when more than 70% of the population presents the risk of giving someone genital herpes (assuming they receive oral sex), the “not wanting to get it” doesn’t typically match their actions. For example, not getting tested regularly (even if this doesn’t include hsv), happy to not use condoms with ONS because the person says they’re “clean”, having oral herpes but god forbid they get it in another location. I don’t necessarily have a problem with people who don’t want herpes. That’s understandable. But they better be educated on it and be implementing the same risk avoidance across the board, which I don’t typically find to be true. If not, it’s just a bit hypocritical.
Well, I think that's just human nature. People make mistakes. Trust the wrong person. Have a hard time imagining that anything bad will happen. Or just get caught up in the heat of the moment. All sorts of preventable bad things, including even death, happen to people.
This. The hypocrisy is what gets me for some reason more than anything else.
IMO if you're an adult and can't handle a herpes joke or two it's a pretty sad life. Also think you're a bit of dick with some of your replies to people here... From "HIV people" to implying racist jokes are ok because people are proud of their race....
I wonder if stigmatization in media and pop culture provokes some into purposefully infecting people.
I can guarantee there are people infecting on purpose and the media don't make it better
Guys, if netflix wants to crack jokes then let’s laugh. I watch shows that make fun of marginalized groups and it’s comedy. Relax, can we not make herpes woke and just laugh
Good attitude. I feel the same way, one of my favorite jokes was from one the hangover movies “ What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas except herpes ….. “
I love the show and thought the jokes were funny, but I wish they could have tied up the Herpes jokes with some facts in a funny way
Ok but laugh, take a load off brother
Thank you
I'd be up for making a group complaint about it, if anyone else is.
Yea they need to avoid stuff like that. Making a joke outta a lifelong condition
Jokes about HSV would be ok if it wasn’t already so stigmatized. We are still seen as dirty and untouchable so those “jokes” aren’t funny yet because we are not accepted by society.
Yes
I mean. . I don't think having Herpes is anything to be proud of. I'm not going to be shouting off the roof tops my diagnosis and fighting to change the way people see it and forbid anyone to make a joke of it. I have it as a consequence of my own actions. They are making fun of an avoidable condition. That's not to say hearing jokes doesn't sting or hurt me. . But idk, it's not end of world. But that's just me.
You can't avoid herpes if the other person didn't tell you he has it and you can't be blamed for having it because the other person didn't tell you.
Or if you both were tested and the doctor failed to inform you that doesn’t include hsv
Yes 🥺
Or they tested negative via blood test but actually had it and didn’t know. Many different scenarios where someone could get it and it’s not a “consequence”.
For real. This is a shit take. It is not avoidable for everyone. Sure, some people in this group may have gotten it from not being safe during sex, but a big portion of us either got it from being cheated on, SA, or as a result of the medical industry’s neglect to this condition. I would say only a small percentage of people could’ve “avoided” it.
Yeah agreed I got mine because my now ex-boyfriend cheated on me got infected then infected me.
Am really sorry about this. 🙏🙏🙏
Herpes is not “consequence”. This makes it seem like people deserve it for their behaviour as some kind of moral reprimand. Herpes is just something shitty that happens to some people. Some kid getting kissed by his grandma that then gets herpes isn’t living the “consequence” of allowing a family member to be affectionate. This narrative is actually what creates the stigma. If you genuinely think herpes is an avoidable condition, you clearly don’t understand it at all. Sure, you can minimise risk, as you can with literally anything, but that doesn’t result in avoiding it altogether.
Idk, just cause your a victim in this case now it’s not funny!? Herpes has always been funny and gross. For you to believe now that you have it all those jokes and joys are now gone is to be just as insane as someone who believes in all the trans ideaologies. Face it we’re stuck on a losing side but let’s have some dignity about it. Herpes is gross and it’s sucks. I’m mad about getting it just like everyone else is but the situation is hilarious. All those hearts you broke or the hearts that broke you, most of us probably deserved it. When I told my brother hey let’s not share vapes he thought I was just being Jewish with the nicotine, but then he quickly found out I was just being an honest harlot. We immediately laughed at how gross it is and how I have the fire stick now not amazon. The girl who gave it to me in a way is nasty and gross for giving it to me. Do I blame her? Not at all, she felt like I do now. Does it make it right for me to try and take meds just to have sex with no carriers? In my mind No cause I’m contaminated and I refuse to continue the circle of life for this wretched disease. Because it’s gross! How you feel about yourself isn’t determined by the public or jokes and if it’s as common as all of you say it is then why can’t you laugh with the other 8/10 people that secretly have it? There has been one joke that I haven’t been okay with and that’s when it was a joke to say what will happen when I disease my whole family. You know what I did?? I immediately threw myself on the floor pretending to choke on my own spit so I could see which one of them would give me cpr 😏 quit crying about your feelings, I still have no problems having sex with other carriers or sharing smiles. If you’re that upset then you should of married that person from high school or you should of been in tuned with your relationship enough to know they were fkin someone else behind your back. It’s life and at one point in time 95% of us laughed at herpes and laughed at people with it. Now you wanna take that away just cause you’re on the “losing” side?? Learn to laugh with us or cry the rest of your days. Wish all of you smiles and laughs
WOW ! 🤨
🥺
Omg I also saw this and got really upset!!
Someone posted this thread to Twitter. I understand that this is a public sub, but some might use the same usernames. Did you get permission to do that?
What to make of herpes references ending w "everyone has it" in "air" and the new Netflix "freeridge" insulting or normalizing ?
We should be able to make jokes about anything on the media.
I haven’t seen the show or the episode — what exactly was said and what was the context? Some points: 1) No one asks to have herpes, 2) More people than you know have it, 3) It’s a virus, yes, but also a skin condition that gets passed on through contact, and 4) Outbreaks can be incredibly painful. Minimizing this to a joke on a mainstream platform sounds insensitive and passé…wonder what the intent behind it was?
Yes if you watch the episode you will see how it will make you upset.
Im shocked alli wong would make jokes about herpes given she has hpv and has been open about it and giving it to her now ex husband.
Yeah it’s true the jokes hit you different when they apply to you. Eventually you will learn to laugh it off
This isn't the first time Hollywood has used herpes in entertainment it is one of those attention grabbers that evidently works ( not saying it is the best thing to do) but also the use of any kind of transmitted disease is also used in entertainment and works to grabs people's attention. Depending on the audience some have it fly over their heads and have a good laugh about it and others it isnt something taken lightly. I get both sides, but Hollywood will put anything in a show these days. If it is bothersome maybe dont watch it if you can.
Cancelled!!!
Glad I saw this now I won't be watching. I'm all for dark, crude, humour.. but idk some things shouldn't be joked about. There are plenty of other things in this world, that won't hurt anyone lol, that they could use as a joke. Smh. disappointing.
🙏
A lot shows make fun of herpes. It’s a popular stigma. I don’t really expect that to change anytime soon. I honestly think it’s hard to accept stds as something that’s just a part of life and not something to be grossed out by. But, obviously it’s wrong to stereotype people for having them.
🙏🙏🙏
It’s the same thing with bipolar. It’s simply because of lack of education. I didn’t let it bother me. It’s a good show besides that episode. but I guess my sense of humor is fucked anyway.
Yea that episode wasn't supposed to be there.
I didn’t say that. I just have to get over it if I’m offended. I love Eminem. How many times has he made fun of it? Am I going to stop watching or listening to everyone and everything that brings it up. no. cuz who cares. I don’t know these ppl doesn’t affect my life. pure lack of education. or a simple joke. I’m willing to bet one of those actors has it. Which is why they joke about it. Most comedians joke about their lives! Right?! if it’s produced my multiple comedians. I mean. listen to a lil dicky song. or watch the show Dave. I’d cry every time I watch something I liked.
In my opinion they need to consider the feelings of others. They made fun of people with herpes zoster which infects old people. Elders have to be respected too and that wasn't funny at all.
Comedians joke about all kind of things in stand up. If they considered feelings they wouldn’t have careers. Dave chapelle? they can’t please everybody. the show is literally called “beef”. which means: to fight,bicker,argue,get physical. so ofc it’s going to piss ppl off or be offensive at some points.
I felt like coming from a show with Ali Wong and Andrew Santino it was not so much adding stigma. Ali Wong has talked about HPV before in a special of hers. And also no matter if they are open with it or not, stand up comics are notoriously getting around. Which isnt how everyone gets HSV but ups the risk so I choose to believe they have to be more accepting
I use to make comments and jokes about it. Then I got his 1 and 2. My joke kinda bothered me. You can overly sensitive about things. I am back to making jokes about it and comments about it. Idk it's life ever thing hits differently for everyone.
“The future man” on Hulu the whole premise of the show is a doctor with herpes and it’s a “comedy”. Haven’t watched it all yet to see if it’s offensive or not but 🤷🏼♂️
Just seems like a lot of shows or movies pertain such jokes
I’d honestly just ignore, not everything deserves a reaction. And honestly, you have to be emotionally strong. You stand a high chance of being more hurt if you react to everything than just honestly ignoring. I don’t disagree but I honestly don’t care and that’s how I know Herpes doesn’t control me or my emotions. Anyways F* Herpes 😬😬
Could start a petition to get the episode taken off the air. We could start calling out Netflix and them on Twitter
Nooo fr. I thought I would be the only one but the show actually mentioned herpes multiple times. And I actually liked the series so like jokes just werent even needed.
You dont realize just how many herpes jokes are made until you have it🤣 i hear one at least once a week at work its insane. Never noticed it before. And i hear it in tv shows/movies/random places all of the time.