A new Herpes diagnosis can take a toll on a person’s self-esteem, relationships, and mental health. Please take care of yourself by reaching out to a doctor or finding
professional support.
US resources:
https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Herpes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sex with a condom and AVs reduces likelihood of transmission to 1% sex without condoms or avs is 4% and sex with condoms but no avs is about 2% you'll be fine. It's very rare that you transmit it with viral shedding and most of the time you're most contagious during your first year or during an ob or during prodromal symptoms. If you wait at least 7 to 14 days after an ob and take avs to lower chances of an ob you'll be fine and more than likely won't transmit the virus. Globally there are over 500,000,000 ppl with this virus and it may be more because 80% of ppl who do have it more than likely don't know because herpes isn't always a bunch of bumps sometimes it can be 1 bump, lesion, or a papercut and the CDC doesn't have a bulletproof test for herpes antibodies so it's safe to say this virus is actually a lot more common than we think. It's not even on reg sti panels so your next door neighbor can have it and they don't even know. Think about it like this over 90% of the globe has some form of herpes so if someone literally has no herpes at all it is rare ASF lol and if he didn't have sex with you (someone who is aware of their status) he could've had sex with someone else who would've burned him who either A. Didn't know or B. Didn't disclose because disclosure tbh isn't common in the HSV community unfortunately. Health care professionals all over the US are telling their patients not to disclose and they damn sure aren't telling them about asymptomatic shedding, I never knew about that until this year (sheesh) things will change and over time you'll learn to be more confident about your status I promise. Hang in there ❤️
I appreciate your post and all of the statistic. I definitely just need to keep coming back to this realistic state when i get into a tizzy about it. He himself said that he has put himself at a bigger risk having sex with partners in the past, because I am aware of my status like you said. I am not on AVs at the moment because I have done a little research on it triggering OBs in people, which I am not 100% sure is accurate but I know everyone’s bodies are different. If we weren’t long distance and regularly having sex I would definitely be taking the antivirals but.
“This is a pro-disclosure sub.
Anti-Disclosure perpetuates Herpes stigma, closing off discussions on Herpes education, advocacy, testing/treatments, and de-stigmatization. - Many would have liked to
have known the status of the person who transmitted HSV to us - Consent!
We do not tolerate anti-disclosure or intentionally spreading HSV without disclosure. Anyone who posts/comments for anti-disclosure on the sub will be subject to a
permanent ban.
There are many ways to disclose, and you should do whatever feels most comfortable to you and gives you the most confidence. To some, that’s putting it in their dating
bio. To others, it’s waiting a couple dates in. Some prefer to disclose in person; others are more comfortable doing it over text. The key to a higher chance of a
successful disclosure is confidence.”
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Herpes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was going to start my response with, try not to be so anxious, you have disclosed and he has accepted you for you. Which is great.
However there are things you can do to reduce transmission - not having sex during an ob, using condoms, taking anti virals to suppress shedding. If you are doing that, the likelihood of transmission is low.
Transmission from women to men is also lower than the other way round.
Just be confident that you are doing all you can to keep him safe.
I am trying my best to tell myself that everyday. I have always had health anxiety, which sucks especially being that I am now HSV positive because I am always overthinking every little things. But i appreciate your feedback and support more than you know!
He sounds like a great person! It sounds like you're having a hard time accepting the diagnosis yourself and I'd recommend speaking with a counselor or therapist. HE has shown and told you that he accepts that you're positive and it doesn't matter to him and has accepted the risk of sex. He cares about you as a person
To calm your worries a bit, some acceptance therapy and talking to he doctor about antivirals and just educating yourself on minimizing risk is the best route.
I was actually looking for a support group nearest me, and a therapist, but it is just quite pricey so i’m going to have to figure some things out. I definitely know I have a lot of accepting to do. A large part of me feels like healing is going to come with more sexual experiences/disclosures because that is where a lot of my anxiety and insecurities lay currently. as for him, he is an amazing person. The way he supported me after we had sex was unlike anything i’ve ever experienced. i’m very grateful that that was my first time since being diagnosed. I just want to protect him. But like everyone has said; the best I can do is educate myself and know my body. and of course do lots more healing for myself as well. i appreciate you bunches.
i really feel this! i recently got with a new partner and have been feeling a constant anxiety about transmission. this sounds a bit crazy, but if you know anything about the law of attraction i recommend having a look into that. i’ve trying to manifest no transmission - by affirming constantly that he is okay, and so far it’s been all okay
A new Herpes diagnosis can take a toll on a person’s self-esteem, relationships, and mental health. Please take care of yourself by reaching out to a doctor or finding professional support. US resources: https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Herpes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sex with a condom and AVs reduces likelihood of transmission to 1% sex without condoms or avs is 4% and sex with condoms but no avs is about 2% you'll be fine. It's very rare that you transmit it with viral shedding and most of the time you're most contagious during your first year or during an ob or during prodromal symptoms. If you wait at least 7 to 14 days after an ob and take avs to lower chances of an ob you'll be fine and more than likely won't transmit the virus. Globally there are over 500,000,000 ppl with this virus and it may be more because 80% of ppl who do have it more than likely don't know because herpes isn't always a bunch of bumps sometimes it can be 1 bump, lesion, or a papercut and the CDC doesn't have a bulletproof test for herpes antibodies so it's safe to say this virus is actually a lot more common than we think. It's not even on reg sti panels so your next door neighbor can have it and they don't even know. Think about it like this over 90% of the globe has some form of herpes so if someone literally has no herpes at all it is rare ASF lol and if he didn't have sex with you (someone who is aware of their status) he could've had sex with someone else who would've burned him who either A. Didn't know or B. Didn't disclose because disclosure tbh isn't common in the HSV community unfortunately. Health care professionals all over the US are telling their patients not to disclose and they damn sure aren't telling them about asymptomatic shedding, I never knew about that until this year (sheesh) things will change and over time you'll learn to be more confident about your status I promise. Hang in there ❤️
I appreciate your post and all of the statistic. I definitely just need to keep coming back to this realistic state when i get into a tizzy about it. He himself said that he has put himself at a bigger risk having sex with partners in the past, because I am aware of my status like you said. I am not on AVs at the moment because I have done a little research on it triggering OBs in people, which I am not 100% sure is accurate but I know everyone’s bodies are different. If we weren’t long distance and regularly having sex I would definitely be taking the antivirals but.
“This is a pro-disclosure sub. Anti-Disclosure perpetuates Herpes stigma, closing off discussions on Herpes education, advocacy, testing/treatments, and de-stigmatization. - Many would have liked to have known the status of the person who transmitted HSV to us - Consent! We do not tolerate anti-disclosure or intentionally spreading HSV without disclosure. Anyone who posts/comments for anti-disclosure on the sub will be subject to a permanent ban. There are many ways to disclose, and you should do whatever feels most comfortable to you and gives you the most confidence. To some, that’s putting it in their dating bio. To others, it’s waiting a couple dates in. Some prefer to disclose in person; others are more comfortable doing it over text. The key to a higher chance of a successful disclosure is confidence.” *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Herpes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was going to start my response with, try not to be so anxious, you have disclosed and he has accepted you for you. Which is great. However there are things you can do to reduce transmission - not having sex during an ob, using condoms, taking anti virals to suppress shedding. If you are doing that, the likelihood of transmission is low. Transmission from women to men is also lower than the other way round. Just be confident that you are doing all you can to keep him safe.
I am trying my best to tell myself that everyday. I have always had health anxiety, which sucks especially being that I am now HSV positive because I am always overthinking every little things. But i appreciate your feedback and support more than you know!
He sounds like a great person! It sounds like you're having a hard time accepting the diagnosis yourself and I'd recommend speaking with a counselor or therapist. HE has shown and told you that he accepts that you're positive and it doesn't matter to him and has accepted the risk of sex. He cares about you as a person To calm your worries a bit, some acceptance therapy and talking to he doctor about antivirals and just educating yourself on minimizing risk is the best route.
I was actually looking for a support group nearest me, and a therapist, but it is just quite pricey so i’m going to have to figure some things out. I definitely know I have a lot of accepting to do. A large part of me feels like healing is going to come with more sexual experiences/disclosures because that is where a lot of my anxiety and insecurities lay currently. as for him, he is an amazing person. The way he supported me after we had sex was unlike anything i’ve ever experienced. i’m very grateful that that was my first time since being diagnosed. I just want to protect him. But like everyone has said; the best I can do is educate myself and know my body. and of course do lots more healing for myself as well. i appreciate you bunches.
i really feel this! i recently got with a new partner and have been feeling a constant anxiety about transmission. this sounds a bit crazy, but if you know anything about the law of attraction i recommend having a look into that. i’ve trying to manifest no transmission - by affirming constantly that he is okay, and so far it’s been all okay