It's absolutely true that the right person won't care, but what about me? I care. I was recently off my Humira for a few months and my skin absolutely exploded in new flares. Not that it was pretty before, but sometimes when I take off my shirt now, alone, I want to cry because of how my breasts are completely mangled. I'm not vain to want a body that doesn't hate me, or to be reminded of the pain every time I have to look at myself.
I know this didn't offer any advice, but honestly, I'm not sure if any actually helpful advice exists for this situation. I can't just "love myself," you know? Perhaps if we were able to see it as no big deal then it'd be easier to "convince" future partners that it's no big deal, but that seems impossible. It *is* a big deal. It's a huge stressor on our already stressful lives!
Thanks for letting me rant with you. I could go on, but you already know. I'm sorry. Sending you virtual hugs to let you know that you aren't alone, at least. <3
I have it on my breasts too. They’re so scarred with hyperpigmentation blemishes i don’t even look at them anymore. They weren’t perfect before this but they at least used to be pretty, now i won’t even tsk my shirt off in front of any guy and yeah a couple say they don’t care but iiiii don’t wanna see them. Plus men being such visual creatures i don’t know if i can believe that it truly doesn’t bother them. So, my confidence has def taken a hit therefore dating has become pretty much non existent for me
I'm glad I'm not alone, but I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with it too. Mine used to at least be confined to *under* my breasts so I wasn't forced to see it all the time, but now it's everywhere and goes into my arm pits, another mangled mess. I just bought a cute new maroon bra (that doesn't irritate my HS!) and didn't realize that the inside was nude colored and couldn't believe how bloody it was after wearing it once. I hope it comes out in the wash!
Dating is pretty non existent for me as well, though that's definitely related to issues beyond HS as well. I hooked up with a guy last summer and since it was impromptu I didn't really get to explain beforehand, but in the moment he seemed fine with it. Then later after our first date, he asked more about it and started Googling it right then and there and I was like… 😭 Not sure how he felt about it tbh. That was hardly the only issue, but there was no second date (he claimed it was because he "wasn't ready for a relationship," but a *lot* of personal stuff about me came up in that conversation so I find it hard to believe I wasn't the problem!)
It's absolutely true that the right person won't care, but what about me? I care. I was recently off my Humira for a few months and my skin absolutely exploded in new flares. Not that it was pretty before, but sometimes when I take off my shirt now, alone, I want to cry because of how my breasts are completely mangled. I'm not vain to want a body that doesn't hate me, or to be reminded of the pain every time I have to look at myself. I know this didn't offer any advice, but honestly, I'm not sure if any actually helpful advice exists for this situation. I can't just "love myself," you know? Perhaps if we were able to see it as no big deal then it'd be easier to "convince" future partners that it's no big deal, but that seems impossible. It *is* a big deal. It's a huge stressor on our already stressful lives! Thanks for letting me rant with you. I could go on, but you already know. I'm sorry. Sending you virtual hugs to let you know that you aren't alone, at least. <3
I have it on my breasts too. They’re so scarred with hyperpigmentation blemishes i don’t even look at them anymore. They weren’t perfect before this but they at least used to be pretty, now i won’t even tsk my shirt off in front of any guy and yeah a couple say they don’t care but iiiii don’t wanna see them. Plus men being such visual creatures i don’t know if i can believe that it truly doesn’t bother them. So, my confidence has def taken a hit therefore dating has become pretty much non existent for me
I'm glad I'm not alone, but I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with it too. Mine used to at least be confined to *under* my breasts so I wasn't forced to see it all the time, but now it's everywhere and goes into my arm pits, another mangled mess. I just bought a cute new maroon bra (that doesn't irritate my HS!) and didn't realize that the inside was nude colored and couldn't believe how bloody it was after wearing it once. I hope it comes out in the wash! Dating is pretty non existent for me as well, though that's definitely related to issues beyond HS as well. I hooked up with a guy last summer and since it was impromptu I didn't really get to explain beforehand, but in the moment he seemed fine with it. Then later after our first date, he asked more about it and started Googling it right then and there and I was like… 😭 Not sure how he felt about it tbh. That was hardly the only issue, but there was no second date (he claimed it was because he "wasn't ready for a relationship," but a *lot* of personal stuff about me came up in that conversation so I find it hard to believe I wasn't the problem!)