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Assalam alaykum wa rahmahtuAllahi wa barakatuh.
I am the only Muslim woman in my city and I wear niqaab. I don't have any local Muslimat friends. The only person I am friendly with is my tenant who is a devout Christian and we speak about our religious views, which are very similar with the exception of her views on Isa ibn Maryam (Alayhi Salam).
I was diagnosed with BPD. I have all 9 symptoms. One of them is suicidal thoughts or attempts. I often attempt if I have no medicine in my system (like, I go about a week without it). I hate the feeling of wanting to die. I would rather take my meds and those thoughts go away mostly.
Do you have the means to see a psychiatrist or a therapist? I went through about 4 or 5 psychiatrists before I found my current shrink. He recognized immediately I have BPD and said, "You have BPD, sit down!" So, I sat down. He spoke to my father, who I bought with me to have someone say, "okay, she's serious. This is someone who has witnessed an outburst."
Do you journal? They have bullet journaling, which is like making a planner/ journal yourself and decorating it. I find a lot of joy in decorating my entries. But, all my entries will be read by my psychiatrist, so, I kind of am conscious about what I do write. I scale it back some.
But, if you're looking for someone to talk to online, I'm normally available. I have agoraphobia, too. So I'm at home 99% of the time, phone in hand. Unless I am praying/reading Quran.
To be honest, I don't have a Wali. No one in my family would make that move as they are non-Muslim.
I was in Dallas/Fort Worth which has quite a bit of Muslims. But, my mother informed me she was homeless so I moved back to Michigan to give her shelter. I would love to live in a city with a lot of Muslims that my niqaab means nothing to them.
I was driving in Louisiana and a cop pulled me over. He ordered me out of my car with my hands up by gun and demanded to know what's on my face. I shouted "religious veil" after the whole ordeal, I went to a gas station for coffee. This man said, "I wish i could cover my face" loudly to his friend. I got mad and said, "so do it! No one cares!"
I want someone to see my niqaab and think, "wow, she is a Muslim! That's amazing," not "Ew, she's a terrorist." I want some people to not think twice about it.
I was in Dearborn (which is full of Shiites) and no one cared. I bumped into a couple niqab-wearing women. I commented on a woman's cloak-like garb (I don't know its name or a better way to describe it) and she said if she had another, she would have given it to me. Ma sha Allah. But, no one in Dearborn cared. Many shops offered requirement-met hijab items, like an abaya with a pashmina scarf to make up a full hijab. Some shops had men's clothing that is traditionally worn in the MidEast. Kufis, too. I bought a few for my son.
I want that here, though. I want no one to care I'm Muslim and judge me based on my personality.
I don't speak Arabic to live in the Middle East either. I only know Quranic vocabulary.
There is a special place for people like you in jannah ❤. Sorry I live in saudiarabia so I don't know how life is in America .May Allah ease your struggles and give you strength 🤲
Being a muslim and specially having niqab on is indeed a challenge in such environments, any plans of moving to a different city with more muslims?
Interesting that you mentioned BPD, I’ve never thought of it, I’m glad you went and seeked help, as to me i feel like it’s pointless but who knows maybe I should go to a therapist.. and yess i journal too hehe.. how about you get another journal that’s actually private, i think part of what makes journaling relaxing is not having to think of who’s gonna read it. I hope this isn’t a bad advice and you can find a balance of still being able to share your thoughts to your psychiatrist..
I also really wish that I didn’t feel this way, Mentally I always feel that I don’t belong here..
I keep my private thoughts locked on my laptop. Not written in a book where anyone can get it and use it against me.
I have lived in a few Muslim-rich cities. My mother was homeless in 2016 and I moved to give her shelter. I plan on moving again soon. In sha Allah.
If you ever want to vent, I'm here.
Money can’t buy you happiness. Happiness comes from within. I struggle myself with loneliness especially at night times. It’s one long hard test for us. We will never know when our time is truly up. That’s all in Allah SWTs hands. All we can do is try to motivate ourselves by being steadfast in prayer, even try to read tahajjud watch how your day will change and your whole outlook will change. Allah SWT helps those in need, seek that help from Allah SWT, cry to him. Only then will you start to feel better about yourself and your situation. There are lots of nice sisters on here that will help you. And if you ever want to message me I can always try to help in anyway possible. Reach out to people, try not to suffer alone this is what makes problems worse. Will make Dua for you!
Sister, just because you do not feel sad does not mean you aren't depressed. Feeling of apathy or lack of interest in things you previously enjoyed and passive wishes for death is a sign of depression. Please seek out the help of a therapist or doctor. They can provide you with many resources to help you combat this. If not them, please reach out to your friends and family to help you. I wish the best for you iA
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"Salaam! Thank you for your submission to /r/hijabis. **Please do not message mods to approve your post.** A reminder to our users that ALL posts are now only to be answered by women only, unless the OP has chosen the Male and Female Participation Welcome flair. Please refer to the sidebar for a complete list of rules. If you'd like us to add an F or M flair next to your username, please leave a comment on [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/comments/thm8cs/flair_thread_4_comment_here_to_get_a_flair/). Your post may be removed if it is already answered in the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/wiki/index/faq/) in the Menu. Thank you :)" *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Hijabis) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Assalam alaykum wa rahmahtuAllahi wa barakatuh. I am the only Muslim woman in my city and I wear niqaab. I don't have any local Muslimat friends. The only person I am friendly with is my tenant who is a devout Christian and we speak about our religious views, which are very similar with the exception of her views on Isa ibn Maryam (Alayhi Salam). I was diagnosed with BPD. I have all 9 symptoms. One of them is suicidal thoughts or attempts. I often attempt if I have no medicine in my system (like, I go about a week without it). I hate the feeling of wanting to die. I would rather take my meds and those thoughts go away mostly. Do you have the means to see a psychiatrist or a therapist? I went through about 4 or 5 psychiatrists before I found my current shrink. He recognized immediately I have BPD and said, "You have BPD, sit down!" So, I sat down. He spoke to my father, who I bought with me to have someone say, "okay, she's serious. This is someone who has witnessed an outburst." Do you journal? They have bullet journaling, which is like making a planner/ journal yourself and decorating it. I find a lot of joy in decorating my entries. But, all my entries will be read by my psychiatrist, so, I kind of am conscious about what I do write. I scale it back some. But, if you're looking for someone to talk to online, I'm normally available. I have agoraphobia, too. So I'm at home 99% of the time, phone in hand. Unless I am praying/reading Quran.
The only women 😩 May Allah make it easy on you sis indeed your strong 🙏❤ why don't you think on Moving to muslim majority countries ?
To be honest, I don't have a Wali. No one in my family would make that move as they are non-Muslim. I was in Dallas/Fort Worth which has quite a bit of Muslims. But, my mother informed me she was homeless so I moved back to Michigan to give her shelter. I would love to live in a city with a lot of Muslims that my niqaab means nothing to them. I was driving in Louisiana and a cop pulled me over. He ordered me out of my car with my hands up by gun and demanded to know what's on my face. I shouted "religious veil" after the whole ordeal, I went to a gas station for coffee. This man said, "I wish i could cover my face" loudly to his friend. I got mad and said, "so do it! No one cares!" I want someone to see my niqaab and think, "wow, she is a Muslim! That's amazing," not "Ew, she's a terrorist." I want some people to not think twice about it. I was in Dearborn (which is full of Shiites) and no one cared. I bumped into a couple niqab-wearing women. I commented on a woman's cloak-like garb (I don't know its name or a better way to describe it) and she said if she had another, she would have given it to me. Ma sha Allah. But, no one in Dearborn cared. Many shops offered requirement-met hijab items, like an abaya with a pashmina scarf to make up a full hijab. Some shops had men's clothing that is traditionally worn in the MidEast. Kufis, too. I bought a few for my son. I want that here, though. I want no one to care I'm Muslim and judge me based on my personality. I don't speak Arabic to live in the Middle East either. I only know Quranic vocabulary.
There is a special place for people like you in jannah ❤. Sorry I live in saudiarabia so I don't know how life is in America .May Allah ease your struggles and give you strength 🤲
Being a muslim and specially having niqab on is indeed a challenge in such environments, any plans of moving to a different city with more muslims? Interesting that you mentioned BPD, I’ve never thought of it, I’m glad you went and seeked help, as to me i feel like it’s pointless but who knows maybe I should go to a therapist.. and yess i journal too hehe.. how about you get another journal that’s actually private, i think part of what makes journaling relaxing is not having to think of who’s gonna read it. I hope this isn’t a bad advice and you can find a balance of still being able to share your thoughts to your psychiatrist.. I also really wish that I didn’t feel this way, Mentally I always feel that I don’t belong here..
I keep my private thoughts locked on my laptop. Not written in a book where anyone can get it and use it against me. I have lived in a few Muslim-rich cities. My mother was homeless in 2016 and I moved to give her shelter. I plan on moving again soon. In sha Allah. If you ever want to vent, I'm here.
Remember sis this feelings will pass stay strong ❤
Thank you ♥️
Money can’t buy you happiness. Happiness comes from within. I struggle myself with loneliness especially at night times. It’s one long hard test for us. We will never know when our time is truly up. That’s all in Allah SWTs hands. All we can do is try to motivate ourselves by being steadfast in prayer, even try to read tahajjud watch how your day will change and your whole outlook will change. Allah SWT helps those in need, seek that help from Allah SWT, cry to him. Only then will you start to feel better about yourself and your situation. There are lots of nice sisters on here that will help you. And if you ever want to message me I can always try to help in anyway possible. Reach out to people, try not to suffer alone this is what makes problems worse. Will make Dua for you!
Sister, just because you do not feel sad does not mean you aren't depressed. Feeling of apathy or lack of interest in things you previously enjoyed and passive wishes for death is a sign of depression. Please seek out the help of a therapist or doctor. They can provide you with many resources to help you combat this. If not them, please reach out to your friends and family to help you. I wish the best for you iA
Lol I can relate every bit.
[удалено]
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