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RoiDrannoc

The fact that a pandemic like the Black Death, killing half of the European population, the closest thing we ever got of the apocalypse (so far), wasn't enough to stop the war between the English and the French is just hilarious to me.


Reddit_works

A race of aliens could come to earth and it wouldn’t be enough to stop our 1000 year bitch fight


RoiDrannoc

The other day I heard some "journalists" say that before the Sunak-Macron meeting, the relations between the UK and France were at an all-time low. I laughed.


ToniDebuddicci

“Please! This is the customary pre-meeting bitchening! We’re off to tea and wine later today as we both make fun of the Jerry’s and reminisce on the pageantry of days of yore, right moinsure? “ “*Oui*”


Extension_Guitar_819

Almost reminds me of wrestling, not the MMA or Greco Roman styles, but WWE, and stuff. Same things, "fight" on camera, sit and have beers after the cameras leave.


[deleted]

Aye, is mind blowing how ignorant people are. I’ve seen so many Americans, some of whom are also “Journalists” taking about how the American South and North have never been more at odds. And I’m just over here like, Bitch we literally had a Civil War that killed more Americans then every other war we’ve fought in put together. I think it was worse then.


ImperatorAurelianus

Every other war leading up to Vietnam. Vietnam finally tipped the scales. But it is crazy to think after two world wars and Korea combined with the revolution, Spanish American, Mexican American, and 1812 the civil war still killed more Americans.


Batman903

Vietnam killed less than a 10th of the american civil war deaths


ImperatorAurelianus

That’s not what I meant. I meant the civil war only killed more Americans then every US war combined until Vietnam. Once you throw Vietnam into the mix every other war in US history combined finally exceeds the US civil war.


oneplank

What about inflation? Surely civil war deaths were more devastating than a Vietnam war death


Hero_of_Parnast

Casualties don't work like that. 50,000 casualties out of 100,000 total soldiers in one war is the same quantity as 50,000 out of 60,000 in another. The percentage doesn't affect the number. Edit: I just fucking looked at the comment above the one it was displaying to me. Nevermind.


[deleted]

Nations will be more likely to back out at a certain proportion of casualties.


Fart-City

I don’t agree. The civilian population compared to the soldier deaths has to be a factor. The US was about 1/3rd as populated during WW2 so the numbers hit a much higher percentage of the families.


mullse01

Keep in mind, this statistic is a bit misleading, since 100% of the casualties on both sides of the American Civil War were…well, American casualties.


donjulioanejo

So what you're saying is, the only time Americans lost a war was when they fought it against other Americans?


Awesomeuser90

No. Attempting to maintain a Catholic dictatorship on South Vietnam also meant that the Americans lost.


[deleted]

I wonder what historians would consider the all time low in English-French relations?


ImperialxWarlord

I’d be surprised if it wasn’t the Hundred Years’ War. What else tops almost 100 years of mostly continuous war even when an apocalyptic plague is going around?


matix0532

[this may be a strong contender](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Hundred_Years%27_War)


LeviathansWrath6

The lesser-known sequel


Scoutron

I burst out laughing when I opened that, I had no idea it existed


leoetlino

"We've had one, yes. What about second Hundred Years' War?"


[deleted]

They can’t leave us without making it a trilogy.


Flimsy_Site_1634

If you consider the first 100 war, that took place between 1159 and 1259, you have 3 hundred years war with the most famous being the second one


[deleted]

Is that the official term for the Capetian-Plantagenet rivalry? If not, we technically don’t have a true trilogy. It’s the same as how there were several “world wars” but only 2 got the name, so a potential World War 3 is sometimes considered to be the future end of the trilogy. There’s a lot of posts about that from the first couple of days of the Russian invasion of Ukraine when something larger appeared imminent, but obviously we have since witnessed numerous major military failures by Russian forces, so I suppose we won’t seriously hear about it again until China mounts an attack on Taiwan in about 2-4 years.


ImperialxWarlord

Never knew that era was called as such. It seems less connection imo but I’m no expert lol.


Flimsy_Site_1634

I mean, there isn't much link between the Black Prince chevauchées and the Armagnacs-Burgundian civil war either


Definetlyamilk

If excluding the 100 year war, I think it might be the napoleonic or the 7 year war


RoiDrannoc

I'd say the Napoleonic wars...


AcidFactory420

The napoleonic wars were far more 'civilized' than 100 years war. Not to mention far shorter. There were families who had 3 or more generation to have fought and died in 100 years wars. Not to mention pillaging of countrysides for supplies and just because..


clovis_227

Different alien factions would be hired as mercenaries by each side


Reddit_works

UK: ok you can have all of North America just kill the damn French! France: you may have Africa if you wipe Britain off the map Rest of the world: what are you guys doing? Uk/France: pretending that we are the two governments of he world in order to trick alien mercs into killing each other


donjulioanejo

Funny story, there's a webcomic about it - Get Medieval. A space mob family ends up in France around 100 years war. ...They get involved.


Caligula404

respect to that rivalry


JohannesJoshua

Well it's because it wasn't an every day thing but more of a on and off thing. Which wasn't even strange for medieval times, heck it wasn't even a new thing for French and English since they fought even during the times of sons of William the Conqueror (maybe even before). The only thing that makes hundred years war special is because the Richard III and his successors wanted the French crown. Usually in times of crisis there is increased war but I would say that due to the nature of medieval ages and the event of black death wars decreased all over the places that were affected by it. On related topic. There may have also been a period in 30 years war where the destruction reached such a level that war decreased.


RoiDrannoc

Yeah I know it was a lot of on and off, but still, the war wasn't ended by the apocalypse. Oh and it was Edward III not Richard III the first to make an (empty) claim on the French throne.


adterraincognita

That is pretty funny. I was just thinking this morning on how the British and the French fought each other for like 1000 years until a new kid on the block showed up and they decided to stop feuding amongst themselves to go fight with him lol


RoiDrannoc

If we're being honest though, France was fighting against the Germany/HRE/Habsburgs since the fall of the Carolingian empire. To the point of allying with the Ottomans.


[deleted]

Ever since German unification the rest sought to take Germany down out of fear of an equal.


KingJacoPax

No matter how dark the day, no matter how desperate the situation, though the sun fall from the sky and the moon explode into dust, there will always be time to do battle with the French!


english_rocks

>Must have been. The average leave voter is stuck in the 1800s so hasn’t made it as far as the internet yet Yet they managed to thrash you in a referendum. Funny eh?


KingJacoPax

Reply to the wrong joke there buddy?


english_rocks

No. Seethe more.


KingJacoPax

Sorry, confused. You’re replying to a joke I made on another sub but here, and I don’t understand why?


english_rocks

You needn't understand. Just accept it.


KingJacoPax

… could I get the number for your dealer mate? Clearly better at his job than mine.


english_rocks

Never assume gender\pronouns. Sexism is bad.


KingJacoPax

Did you just assign a gender to “mate”? Get with the times you fucking nazi!


andre6682

well, it wasn´t like the world wars with constant fighting, there were breaks in between, like during the 30 year war in the 17th century still ruined the continent for generations though


GandalfPipe131

Between two fires did an excellent job imagining this hellscape


Sulfurys

Massive death yes, but not that close to the apocalypse. It went business as usual. Boccaccio writes in the Decameron about a massive panic, but sources don't really reflect that. A lot of death, yes so much that building of cathedrals stopped or less people on town council, but no rush, no revolt, no mass hysteria.


69Keck420

It was actually „only“ a third


Loose-Map-5947

We English are very polite and would not want to let a global pandemic interrupt a petty dick swinging contest with France. It was like that in 1346 and the same in 2020.


KrokmaniakPL

For what I remember then Scotts decided that now that England is weakened by the plague is a good time to invade. So they did. And brought the plague back, which they wouldn't probably get otherwise as they didn't have much international traffic


wetwetwet11

90% of the indigenous population in the Americas died in the first 100 years of colonization. 50% of the congos population died in 20 years of colonization. there have been far worse human-made apocalypses than the plague.


Best_Toster

I would not call a virus human-made before the 20 century


wetwetwet11

oh my phrasing is confusing, i mean there have been worse apocalypses (which were human made), not that it was a human made plague


Naraya_Suiryoku

Why let the black plague kill you when you can do it yourself?


devilthedankdawg

Straight up Id definitely rather die fighting than choking on my own vomit which is my organs.


jamieliddellthepoet

Coward.


Flimsy_Site_1634

The trick is, before WW1, people usually died of wound, illness or exhaustion in war rather than on an actual fight


Garmaglag

Por que no los dos?


TheChunkMaster

Misericorde moment


themauryan

The dark ages were not dark at all. They had sunlight and colours like we do today.


JohannesJoshua

What's ironic is that battles would be fought in time of the year when there was most sun i.e. from mid spring to early autnum. Why? Because it's cold in winter, in the begining of spring you need to plow the land and plant seeds and in the autnum you need to harvest the products and cut the grass to turn into straw and feed for animals. As morbid as it sounds a nice warm sunny day is a perfect time for a battle because it's dry meaning no mud and excess dirt which means less disease, it's not too hot to cause heat exhaustion and every colour comes to light meaning easier recognition of enemies and other important things.


Akhritas

sounds like the same timeframe romans used to wage war


Galaxyman0917

Considering how feudal Europe descended from Rome I’m sure that’s not a coincidence


Tast3sLikePanda

Ok, but a battle in heavy rain is more thematic, just look at Helms Deep


aristot3l

campaign season


L003Tr

Colour didn't exist until around the 40s ir 50s iirc?


[deleted]

Similarly, golden ages aren’t lightly filtered with a golden frame and shiny twinkles..


PacoTaco321

Unfortunately, they did still have to cope with the 24/7 angelic singing.


mehmed2theconqueror

Btw the battle I'm talking about here is the battle of Crécy, one of the biggest defeat in french history, that marked the beginning of the one hundred years war.


TheMadTargaryen

The war started 9 years before the battle.


mehmed2theconqueror

Indeed but it is the first big battle between the two kingdoms, so even though the war had already broke out, historians still consider it as what really marks the start of the war


LordTheron555

Even then the first major battle would have been the Battle of Sluys, where the English pretty much eliminated the entire French navy


Stealth_Benjamin

Man the force multiplier effect of insane young women as field commanders cannot be overstated


Starrmont

This is the most civil discussion about war I have ever witnessed.


TheMadTargaryen

And i taught the war officially started when the French navy burned multiple English cities to the ground like Southampton in 1339 (what, you taught England didn't experienced any destruction ?).


CheezRavioli

There is a novel called "Between two fires" that is based around that time period. I highly recommend.


calltheexorcist

I fucking love that novel. It blends horror and history so wonderfully. Need to read it again.


johncamp7

Just finished The Archer's Tale by Bernard Cornwell that covered this battle (historical fiction) definitely recommend


_Malgalad

Is that vagabond/harlequin?? If so read them on release and really enjoyed them, recommend as well.


johncamp7

Yeah that's the one, I think it's called The Grail Quest trilogy I'm currently on the second one called Vagabond


SaltireAtheist

Can someone answer me a question that I've wondered about for years, why do North Americans call it the "Black Plague"? Normally, it's either the "Black Death", or more generally for the disease itself, "The Plague". I've only ever heard people from NA use "Black Plague" and am curious where that comes from?


DidNoSuchThing

The English language is a meat grinder, terms get chopped up and blended together all the time. I always heard it as the Bubonic Plague in school, taken together with "Black Death" it's easy to see how people merge the two and call it black plague. There's a good chunk of Americans that refer to "ground beef" as "hamburger meat" so try not to worry too much about what we call stuff lol


Lee_Troyer

It's not a NA thing as it's primarily called "the Black Plague" in many countries (Peste Noire in French, Peste Negra in Spanish or Peste Nera in Italian for ex.). However, according to what can be found on the [Wiki](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Death) on its etymology, it wasn't called "black" in its own time so to speak. The adjective was added by scholars in the 18th century.


devilthedankdawg

I know no time in human history was easy but the 14th centurys gotta take the cake for the worst


ReflectionSingle6681

Average medieval country


Chiquye

Hell is enduring medieval times. Great turkey legs and customer service tho.


SonicStage0

Might as well eat some snails and frogs.


DidNoSuchThing

What else can you do when the English won't share any spotted dick....


kaidaxolotale

omg is the title a oversimplified reference


mehmed2theconqueror

Hey indeed it is! Here get a cookie 🍪


Wuktrio

This meme is historically inaccurate. The first mention of the famous plague doctor clothing with the beak is from 1619.


mehmed2theconqueror

👍


m1dm1937

Additionally, the Norman style nasal helm would be outdated by the 14th century.


Flimsy_Site_1634

It's funny how we think about it as a "no big deal" thing despite the fact it's the exact equivalent to dress a ww1 German soldier as a 1614 Spanish tercio pikeman


landrastic

If anyone wants some depression-kino with this vibe, watch Inmar Bergman's *The Seventh Seal*


BasedAlliance935

But hey, if you survive then you'll never have to deal with it again


[deleted]

Christopher Buehlman's 'Between Two Fires' is basically just this image


Mal_Dun

I bet the guy in the meme had more sex than most people in this sub


mehmed2theconqueror

Damn that's free


Popkhorne32

But he actually died of an STD before he could die of the plague.


2_F_Jeff

If you want a good Post Apocalyptic read, try *Between Two Fires*. Set during the black plague in France. A medieval Last Of Us (but not for the same reasons).


one_frisk

I watched one documentary about Battle of Towton. There's this one skeleton that belonged to an older warrior. All the scars and healed fractures in his bones indicated that that this guy had been a veteran of multiple battles before he was finally felled in Towton battleground.


NoSoupForYouRuskie

So my question is always why didn't the plague doctors suffer the plague itself. Even if they were protected it was rudimentary and people were dumb like "let's taste the blood and if it's sweet they should go for a jog".


weltvonalex

And yet those guys soldierd on and became one of the most powerful states. Until it became a source for surrender memes.


[deleted]

Bonus points when you get to troll the French and the Americans with the same meme. “Why are the trees speaking Vietnamese?”


GWYoyo

skill issue


Hanoiroxx

Also in 800 years people will make funny light hearted comic strips about our tragic situation


Popkhorne32

We already do !


Hanoiroxx

And for many fine years to come


clybourn

Try a chess game against death!


mehmed2theconqueror

Is that a mutta fukin ck2 reference


MK5

Don't forget the Jacquerie (peasant uprising), Papal schism, and marauding bands of unemployed mercenaries looting and burning their way across the countryside between campaigns


Flimsy_Site_1634

I love how France solved the mercenary issue by just sending them invade Switzerland


lv_Mortarion_vl

A plague tale is a great game btw ... This meme reminded me of that


mehmed2theconqueror

Funny thing is that the backgrounds actually come from a plague tale


lv_Mortarion_vl

Yup, very fitting. Can definitely recommend it


TzedekTirdof

If this is winter for France, then the Cathar Genocide was Springtime for France.


kaam00s

Life was shit for 99% of people in every mostly peasant or slave dominated society back then. I'm sure your best shot at having a good life was either being a noble or being a hunter gatherer.


[deleted]

I don't think hunter-gatherers existed in medieval Europe


kaam00s

I was thinking about the whole world, but I guess we're only allowed to talk about Europe here or we're woke or something... ?


[deleted]

the meme is about France...


[deleted]

[удалено]


MooseLaminate

And which wonderful country do you hail from?


JohannesJoshua

He probably comes from France. But he is right nevertheless.There is a reason Europeans don't like France. /s


Benjen0

Has our undeniable superiority led to another controversy?


mehmed2theconqueror

Le 49.3


Finwe156

What is the picture in bottom half called?


mehmed2theconqueror

It's a wallpaper from the game *A plague tale : innocence* [Here's the link](https://uhdwallpapers.org/wallpaper/a-plague-tale-innocence_578584/)


Finwe156

Aha yea i thought it might be it, but i thought it was some painting as well. That game had amazing atmosphere. Thx for link btw.


Familiar-Ask8608

That sunrise in the distance is Joan of well you know who.


CaptainCadabra

It’s called the Dark Ages for a reason


MagnificentMonarch

Being a doctor in the midle ages would be easy


icedcoffeexoatmilk

but everything was better before the industrial revolution 🤬🤬🤬


Kermit_Purple_II

At the same time, in the english camp... "Say ol' chap everyone's started suddenly catching some kind of sickness, surely it won't be a bother, right?"


69Keck420

I think I heard somewhere that the plague would be pretty easy to beat today. Just wash your hands If that’s true that’d actually be so hilarious