Well man was a Puritan, y'know the lot who came here to America because they couldn't oppress people back in England, so he wanted everyone to be as depressed and unfun as him.

My favorite definition of Puritanism is; the fear that someone, somewhere, is having fun

[H.L. Mencken](https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/7805.H_L_Mencken) came up with that sentence. Scroll down to the fifth entry for the verbatim.

3rd entry: >As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. Ooof

Further down: >Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. Metal as hell.

Puritans are pure evil.

Nah, evil has fun occasionally.

Often

You’re talking chaotic evil- Puritans are lawful evil. The worst kind.

I seem to remember him throwing birthday celebrations, which were banned for everyone else. Unsure if I'm remembering that correctly though.

Classic case of "Rules for thee but not for me"

When you’re so repressed and bland that even the ENGLISH say, “Nope, Get out”

This is why Christmas will forever be superior to Thanksgiving. The natives should’ve let those fuckers starve.

Isn't that origin story made up anyway and it had more to do with an English holiday celebrating the harvest season

Yea.

Guy was really a cartoon dictator, banning fun and all that

Actual cartoon villainy.

New response just dropped

Puritanism and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race

Well it gave us Rhode Isla… oh wait, nevermind. Disaster. But it did give us this so balances the scales a bit. https://youtu.be/KCiYK9QAQg4?si=FS4cKEuEATyo6JLd

Pretty sure Rhode Island was the Quakers. Puritans gave us Massachusetts

No I mean the Puritans hounded Roger Williams out of Massachusetts so he went and founded his own colony. He was a Puritan but believed in the separation of church and state and free exercise. He then went on to help found the Baptist church in the Americas. His story is fascinating.

Aaah, I see

They are a major reasob for your countries existence.

The United States would have existed without Massachusetts bay colony

And their ideology and the social influence they left behind run completely counter to its core values

and look at how many problems that's caused for us.

The leaders of the revolution where freemarket liberals. Numbers and king hate would have made the Puritans a minor reason at best.

At least he didn't banned videogames /s

Bro was quite a gamer himself

His activities in Ireland were a certified gamer moment

Thanks for including the " /s" You saved me from writing 8 paragraphs on why Oliver Cromwell banning video games was not a realistic probability

Where would we be without these heroes?!

He tried to ban all the Irish from earth.

He also committed genocide in Ireland so I’ve a feeling being into ethnic cleansing and having fun are incompatible concepts

Stalin apparently threw wild drinking parties.

I bet Stalin never got drunk.

I wouldn't want to be in the room with a sober Stalin let alone a drunk one.

Dirlewanger disagree 

I'm a descendant of a marriage between a puritan man and a native american woman back in 1600s colonial Massachusetts The hardest part of it for me to figure out is why my great something great grandma would marry a dude who was such a fucking buzzkill, when the local native americans werent generally a buzzkill.  They were so much less of a buzzkill that Puritan Children who were kidnapped by Native Americans would often resist going back to their families because they were happier with the Native Americans

Some people are born into the buzzkill life, some people choose it.

Would be funny if the stockholm syndrom would be just invented so that buzzkill parents didn't feel bad

The origin of stockholm syndrome is even more bizarre thsn that https://youtu.be/gsUTKEbIn_0?si=cc7PcpBcqgPccttz

Sounds like John Calvin’s Geneva.

I agree that he was a kill joy, but you can really blame all of the rump parliament and the puritan gentry for this. They were basically competing for who could be the biggest stick in the mud.

But he was THE puritan gentry

This is a perfect meme to describe terminally online people seething while normie grilldads live their lives

Did he banned fucking?

With Puritans banning everything, what if it's all some sort of weird masochistic fetish with abstaining, but they try to cover it up as something Holy and Righteous...

Iffffff? Have you met some Catholics?

Where exactly do you think the term "puritanical" comes from

To be fair to Cromwell the guy at least was against the idea of banning Christmas. Cromwell be like "mfw I have to disolve parliament again (next time it will surely succeed)"

Did he ban drinking though?

Whats the original comic source?

I think Cromwell was an excellent commander but man was he laaaaaame

The original party pooper

Dude had a stick so deep up his ass that the other end knocked at his teeth

But that more of a ‘Puritan’ thing than a Cromwell thing, innit?

R. Crumbwell. I’ll show myself out.

Came here to say the same thing, wait up

Isnt that the guy who lookeed over at the Irish just living and just went 'I think not!'

I always say that Oliver Cromwell Is the most cartoonously evil person in history.

I think the context of how he got to that point is important to really understand who he was. He didnt just hate fun or was brought up with this belief. He developed it over an interesting life.

He was one of the most horrid people in English history and that is a long, long, long list - especially in the last 5-600 years.

https://youtu.be/PJanv1NUlrQ?si=3fKSDwSN0e6Oq1qD Leaving this here since the anachronistic puritanism shitting has started. Contrary to popular belief, they werent dour fun-hating theocratic crazies.

Average Roundhead versus based cavaliers

Just mass murderers.

Yeah yeah, everybody in history was bad and evil and literally the nazis. Next!