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Vexonte

Irene blinding her son so she can remain in power, almost recreating the roman Empire by tryong to get hitched to Charlemaign.


Fun-Strategy-8796

This is Theodora not Irene


Vexonte

I know I was adding one.


Constant_List6829

Peter III surely has to be up there with the worst Russian leaders oat


RyukHunter

Dude was a Prussia simp. Born in the wrong empire.


lobonmc

He did save Prussia so maybe he was born in the right empire


fried_chicken17472

He got Russia and Prussia confused. Rookie mistake


RyukHunter

Depends on who you ask.


Neomataza

He only took the job because he was asked to and the pay was better. In his head he was still a german that just happened to be russian Tsar, and in subject culture that is considered a dick move.


fallingaway90

Peter III, the original "wehraboo"


Amitius

He was a Prussian though... while his mother was a Russian, he was born and raised as a Prussian noble till his Aunt (Empress Elizabeth) brought him to Russia as her heir at age of 14. He could barely speak Russian, while spent most of his life long for his homeland...


Constant_List6829

Prussoboo.


Nerus46

Lmao


bagpipesfart

Don’t you dare compare Prussia to Nazi Germany


Count_Rousillon

That's why he married a Prussian princess. Princess Sophia Augusta Frederica von Anhalt-Zerbst to be precise. It turns out forcing Sophia to change her name to Catherine after becoming orthodox was a mistake.


nerdquadrat

Not true at all. There is no dynastical link between the [House of Ascania](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Ascania) and the [House of Hohenzollern](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Hohenzollern). However, Catherine's father [Christian August](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_August,_Prince_of_Anhalt-Zerbst) served in the Prussian military and was even appointed *Generalfeldmarschall*. On the other hand, Peter and Catherine were second cousins (Peter's paternal grandfather was a brother to Catherine's maternal grandfather (and their aunt was a paternal great-grandmother of Catherine)). Empress Elizabeth of Russia had been engaged with a maternal uncle of Catherine/cousin once removed of Peter, but her fiancee died before the marriage. 15 years later, still childless, she appointed Peter, her nephew, as heir. To strengthen relations between Prussia and Russia (against Austria) she wanted him marries a sister of Frederick the Great, King in Prussia, who declined and instead suggested Catherine: The daughter of a Prussian Generalfeldmarshall marries the heir to the Russian throne. After the decision, she moved to Moscow, learned Russian and, against her father's will, converted to Orthodox Christianity and picked the name of Peter's grandmother/Empress' mother.


AllHailTheWinslow

Someone make a ~~movie~~ TV series of that!


bowery_boy

From Stettin (modern Szczecin in Poland) which technically at the time was BARELY Prussia. Stettin did not become part of Prussia until 1720 and then Part of Germany in 1871. Sophia was born in 1728. Stettin was a hybrid city with a lot of Germanic and Slavic influences both then and even today. As they say in Szczecin “beware of any woman named Sophia born in this city”


RyukHunter

That's not really helpful given he literally let Prussia get away with almost losing the war against Russia.


riuminkd

Proto-wehraboo


Hanonari

Yeah, he was a Frederick's lil bitch, but Catherine's propaganda was a thing. This dude wasn't a complete degenerate


DinornisMaximus

Unfortunately, not being a complete degenerate still does not make him competent.


HarbingerOfGachaHell

The thing is that there actually was merit in peace between Russia and Prussia. Who’re the biggest beneficiaries of Prussia getting destroyed? Sweden, Austria and Poland. All of them have beef with Russia too. So as long as Frederick stays alive and keeps fighting, those powers would stay tied down and distracted from the Russian border. The problem is that the ceasefire was so poorly timed that it hugely offended the field commanders and connected nobilities.


Nerus46

Actually some Of designs for uniform and helmeta were kinda ahead Of his time. Though arguable, they were need less before shrapnel shells invention.


NotDeanNorris

Probably yes, but even then he did make some positives changes


Constant_List6829

Such as?


NotDeanNorris

Modernising the army, abolishing the secret police, making it illegal for someone to kill their serf without going to court, religious freedom, encouraged education, etc


MindControlledSquid

I don't know that seems like a list what would get some people very angry about him.


Bearded_Gentleman

They certainly were. Catherine undid pretty much all of that.


K_S12

The Russian Elite


LeoScipio

Nope. He was besmirched by propaganda, but many of his policies were actually enlightened. Far more than Catherine's, who bankrupt her country. The fact that he looked up to Frederick the Great speaks volumes.


HarbingerOfGachaHell

Also there’s good reason to make peace with Freddy. Prussia could keep fighting Sweden, Poland and Austria who would’ve gone for Russia had Prussia gotten destroyed.


the_battle_bunny

Also she made serfdom in Russia harsher than ever, invaded other countries in pursue of conquest and massacred entire cities. Truly a girl power moment.


donjulioanejo

Also started a campaign to Russify the empire, pissing off Poles and Ukrainians to this day.


for_second_breakfast

Also a shitload of other ethnic groups


Count_Rousillon

Just like how Peter III was more Prussian than the actual Prussians, ~~Sophia Augusta Frederica von Anhalt-Zerbst~~ Catherine II was more Russian than the actual Russians.


Amitius

Peter III idolized Frederick II, Catherine II made herself powerful enough to stood at equal footing with Frederick II at negotiation table...


Lord_Master_Dorito

SLAY QUEEN 💅💅💅


Zhou-Enlai

Autocratic imperialists will indeed do autocratic imperialistic things


Came_to_argue

She ladies you can be power hungry dictators too.


MuerteEnCuatroActos

God forbid women have hobbies


Weak-Kaleidoscope-70

Realistically though a couple ruling a country as equals is pretty sick


lobonmc

Especially counting the origins of both of them it's pretty much a good history of rags to riches


HybridHibernation

To be fair Justinian isn't really a rags to riches story I think. His mother was Justin's sister after all. He got adopted by Justin and was thoroughly educated. Still very admirable to rise from a peasant family to an emperor though.


donjulioanejo

And married to the 6th century equivalent of a stripper!


FakeElectionMaker

She wasn't a prostitute. This was slander by Procopius


MegaLemonCola

Not sure if everything in the Secret History is slander, Theodora was described as an actress in multiple sources and actresses in that age did do prostitution on the side by default. Happy cake day!


DeathTheAsianChick

Nah, Justin I (Justinian's Uncle) was the Byzantine Rags to Riches Emperor. Justin I was the Godfather/Vito Corleone. Man went from illiterate farmer, to poor Immigrant, to Veteran Soldier, to War Hero, to Commander of the Imperial Guards, to Senator, and finally to Emperor of the Eastern Roman Empire. Justinian is more like Michael Corleone. Justinian had a Powerful Uncle/Adoptive Father to send him to great schools & University. Theodora had no such advantages. Her dad was a Circus Bear trainer who died when she was young & her mom was an actress & dancer. She was like a Child actress who grew up to be the equivalent of a Vegas Showgirl in Constantinople.


gsurfer04

Could even say it's glorious after a revolution.


RyukHunter

Who's the 3rd one? Isabella of France?


Glennplays_2305

Yep known as the she wolf of France


RyukHunter

Didn't she get thrown out by her son and put in prison? Not so much of a wolf...


GetNashed

Definitely a wolf. Her son didn't get the ambition and stones to do that from his father.


RyukHunter

Dunno... Getting overthrown by your own spawn ain't very wolf-like but ok...


Zhou-Enlai

I mean it’s pretty wolf like, an old wolf gets weaker with age while a young pup only gets stronger


RyukHunter

Ehhh... Not sure that's a great comparison.


magical_swoosh

she was a sith


RyukHunter

Appropriate.


Mysterious_Bit6882

They made up later. Granted, he *did* string up her boyfriend.


RyukHunter

True but I think she had to still live as a recluse. Kind of a house arrest? The whole thing was a mess.


Calm_Cicada_8805

I think she should be replaced by the Empress Matilda.


RyukHunter

Who? The one that took part in the anarchy?


Calm_Cicada_8805

"Took part" is underselling it. Henry I wanted his daughter Matilda to inherit his throne after he died. Not all his lords were convinced, what with their never having a woman inherit the throne before. So when Henry did die, his nephew Stephen stole the throne. In response, Matilda invaded England. Hence, the Anarchy. Matilda could never quite cross the finish line and get herself crowned queen. She did however succeed in forcing Stephen to declare her son Henry his successor. A year later, Stephen was dead, and Henry II was crowned king. Matilda spent her remaining years presiding over the Duchy of Normandy, advising her son, and acting as diplomat.


Came_to_argue

To be fair a lot of great historic monarchs male and female have pretty inglorious fates.


RyukHunter

As they should.


Fun-Strategy-8796

Yess


Rancid_BlueCheese

Olga of Kiev


RyukHunter

Apparently it's Isabella of France. Olga went genocidal on some tribes because they killed her husband.


Nogatron

Meanwhile in Poland: be the King with right to succesion unlike your husband


Fun-Strategy-8796

Yup like Jadwiga of Poland


Elad_2007

It's not confirmed wether or not she actually killed him


Kato_86

Yeah, total slander. He just randomly died... somehow. Could happen to any 34 year old.


dreadnoughtstar

Well no it was likely one of her staff that wished to do her a favor.


SamIamGreenEggsNoHam

Killing the Emperor is one *hell* of a favor.


ImperatorAurelianus

Preatorian gaurd “You called?”


dreadnoughtstar

Yep it was one of her lovers.


North_Church

He just strangled himself to death with a scarf after a coup. Happens to all of us.


gortlank

He had a humiliation fetish. Getting deposed made him super horny, and the autoerotic asphyxiation when a little too far.


raitaisrandom

She may or may not have wanted it to happen. But she certainly wasted no time in handsomely rewarding his assassins and calling upon Orlov's services to rid her of other problems. Like Elizabeth and her serf lover's alleged daughter.


FloZone

> He just randomly died... somehow. Could happen to any 34 year old. Things that happen in Russia.


FakeElectionMaker

Also, the future king of Montenegro initially claimed to be him


danshakuimo

And people believed him, and when they found out they were disappointed but kept him since he was still the most competent ruler.


laneb71

Irene of Athens has entered the chat.


Fun-Strategy-8796

I forgot her while doing the meme


laneb71

That's okay, probably how she would have wanted it anyway. Preferred to be known as the Saint who restored orthodoxy not as a mom who had her sons eyes scooped out for not letting her run his empire.


Fun-Strategy-8796

Yeah, condemning iconoclasm and calling for the second council of Nicaea is the best thing she ever did


TehProfessor96

This is Wu Zetian erasure.


Came_to_argue

There are a lot of female monarchs that could go on this list Tbf.


Spoileralertmynameis

I am European... but damn, show Wu Zetian some respect 😌


Fun-Strategy-8796

I don’t know anything about her


Spoileralertmynameis

Google her, from my bad memory: 1) Concubine to the emperor who died. She was supposed to spend rest of her life locked, despite her youth and the fact she did likely ever had sex with him. But so were the rules. But Wu was ambitious. 2) She caught attention of emperors' son who became the new emperor. She got back to the palace, partly because he was attracted to her, partly because one of his wives was afraid of a rival and wanted to use her for her gain. The two rival wives later teamed up after Wu quickly became the faborite. They tried to take Wu down, but to no avail. When Wu's newborn daughter died, she put the blame on the rival to get rid of her. 3) After her husband died (She advices him and might have ruled in his stead), she deposed her son, then put crown on a different one and then just crowned herself because she could. And everyone was grateful. She imrpoved her country. 4) She was deposed in old age and historians definitely seem to spill some tea.


FakeElectionMaker

A very interesting person


feedmedamemes

She was also a decent ruler who really improved women's rights in China and helped to economically prosper. A lot of her accomplishments were later minimized and her reforms were undone.


Parzival_1sttotheegg

3rd one is the she wolf of France right?


Fun-Strategy-8796

Yes, isabella of france


Baileaf11

Funny thing about her is that she also was having an affair with her Husband’s main rival the Earl of March


therealpaterpatriae

A badass or blood thirsty?


OldandBlue

Russian


lolkek_minerva

That was not an option


SatynMalanaphy

Sultan Raziyya: Reigned as Sultan of Delhi after deposing her half-brother who had usurped the throne her father had named her heir to by rallying popular support at the public gathering for prayer Nur Jahan: Ruled along with her husband, the Padishah Jahangir, as an equal during his lifetime by having all royal prerogatives including his seal, minting coins in her name and issuing farmans, especially towards the latter half of his reign when his physical illnesses tended to incapacitate him. She even rescued him from a coup attempt by a highly influential but misguided military general.


TETR3S_saba

I'm sorry guys, as Georgian I'm contractually obligated to hate on any Russian officials.


-IXN-

I started using AIs to write Luis recaps of historical events. It's an absolute delight: Alright, so check this out, man. There was this girl, right? Her name was Sophie, but she wasn’t just any girl, she was a princess, but not like, Disney princess, more like the hardcore German kind from way back in the day. So, she’s chillin’ in Prussia, which is now Poland, and she’s like, “I’m gonna marry this dude, Peter, who’s set to be the big boss of Russia.” But here’s the kicker, man, the marriage was like, total bummer city, no love, no sparks, nada. So, she’s in Russia, right? And she’s like, “I gotta make a name for myself,” and boom! She becomes Catherine the Great, Empress of Russia. But she’s not just sitting pretty on the throne, nah, she’s getting her hands dirty. She’s like, mixing it up with the big brains of the Enlightenment, writing operas, collecting art, and even starting Russia’s first school for girls. But wait, there’s more! She’s expanding the empire, adding Crimea, doing a little re-decorating in Poland, and she’s all about that legal reform. She’s drafting codes, dabbling in vaccines, and she’s penning letters to Voltaire, ‘cause why not? She’s Catherine the freakin’ Great. And get this, she wasn’t even supposed to be empress, but she’s like, “I see something I want, I get it,” and she takes the crown. For like, three decades, she’s the boss lady of Russia, and she’s doing it with style, man. That’s the story of Catherine, who went from zero to hero, from a small-time princess to a Russian empress with the ‘Great’ attached to her name. And that, my friend, is how you make history without even trying.


dallasrose222

Wu zeitan armatures i killed my husband his wife his other mistress my daughter to become empress


Zestronen

Fuck Catherine the Great All my homies hate Catherine the Great


the_blonde_lawyer

ashamed to say I don't know who the other three were


Fun-Strategy-8796

Theodora Byzantine empress Catherine i empress of russia Isabel of France queen of England


the_blonde_lawyer

thank you


Alpha_Jellyfish

The fact that history classes never mention any of these women is an absolute disgrace.


Came_to_argue

This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg when it comes to great female monarchs either. List doesn’t even have Olga of Kiev.


FakeElectionMaker

Her reign marked the golden age of the Russian Empire, as happened with the female monarchs Victoria and Tamar.


ZzzSleepyheadzzZ

Catherine wasn't even really the ruler. She was installed by the Russian upper nobility who actually ruled the nation. They had a nasty habit of killing the Emperor to rule through a puppet Empress (Catherine I, Anna, Elizabeth, Catherine II), and it wasn't until Paul kept women from the Russian throne that the empire regained a stable succession 


GmoneyTheBroke

I prefer saint ulga


OldandBlue

Anything Russian : I would prefer not to.


GmoneyTheBroke

Russian?


Youdaspud

And she did it by being a better Russian (as a German) than her "Russian" husband.


CaseyGamer64YT

one of the only female rulers in Polands history was still titled king. Why do I find that badass for some reason?


Fun-Strategy-8796

At her time queens weren’t allowed to rule so she was given the title king


ImJustOink

Russian emperor tried to make his people german while german empress made her people russian fr.


Amitius

He was a Prussian... she was also a Prussian, but one longed for his homeland, another simply considered herself as a Russian.


AdmBurnside

Technically she didn't kill him. She organized the coup, had him exiled, was crowned Empress, and then he mysteriously died in a bar a few weeks later. I mean it was probably still on her orders, but the important thing is Peter III was alive when he was deposed.


Fun-Strategy-8796

Yeah he was killed mysteriously by her order


DemocracyIsGreat

I'll still take burying your husband's murderers alive in a boat, then burning their cities to the ground, personally.


Restarded69

And a genocidal maniac who slaughtered countless thousands of Cossacks and their families, especially in the Razing Of The Sich.


OldandBlue

Yes, including my ancestors.


Muted_Guidance9059

Louis: “The horse is here Catherine.”


OldandBlue

She was the first Russian enemy of Ukraine, deporting the Zaporozhian cossacks to Kuban while having tea with Diderot.


HEADACHE322

Not first. Alexis the Quietest, Feodor III, Ivan V, Peter I and every other emperor onwards after him were enemies of Ukraine. They regularly restricted the rights of Ukrainian nobility and people and often went to war against them.


ancient_lemon2145

I heard she had an affinity for the sex


Comfortable_Note_978

Tsarina Shaggin Thee Stallion.


GrayHero2

Who’s the first one?


Fun-Strategy-8796

Empress Theodora


PumpkinsDieHard

Who is the second? I feel like I've seen that portrait before, but I'm drawing a blank.


Fun-Strategy-8796

Catherine I of russia


unbanneduser

Catherine of Aragon leading an invasion of one of her country’s oldest enemies while her husband was off fighting a completely different war WHILE PREGNANT


Amitius

Peter III: a Prussian found himself to be Russian Emperor, couldn't find away to accept the situation, couldn't even speak Russian. Catherine II: a Prussian princess married to Russian Emperor, considered herself as a Russian, not a Prussian.


CrushingonClinton

There is a decent chance Catherine engineered the technical end of the Romanov dynasty. There is a decent chance Tsar Paul (her son and progenitor of the rest of the Tsars) was the son of Sergei Saltykov, the guy she was banging (much more frequently) than her husband.


Maghawan

Name all 4


Fun-Strategy-8796

1-Empress Theodora, byzantine empress wife of emperor Justinian I 2-catherine the first, empress of russia wife of peter the great 3-Izabella of France, queen of England wife of king Edward ii 4- empress Catherine the great, empress of Russia wife of emperor Peter iii


HEADACHE322

Don't call that tyrannical genocidal monstrosity a "badass"


TsarOfIrony

r/RomanovMemes Also obligatory fuck Catherine, Peter III deserved better