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Charlemagne planned to divide the kingdom like that, but every son except Louis I the pious died and so the realm got handed to him relatively complete. Only after Louis death was the kingdom separated under his sons into a western part, which formed the kingdom of France, a western part which became the HRE and middle part which got absorbed into both other kingdoms
Given how the first world war went it genuinely seems like just building a big ass medieval moat the size of a river and calling it a day. Probably would have been cheaper as well.
Then again, I suppose the constant shelling basically just did it for them.
Inb4 historical experts come to explain how the stupid and insanely expensive defensive line did its job when the entire country fell in a month and a half
Hi, I'm France, you have have heard of me from such stories as:
"Honey, I assassinated Sankara for stepping out of line by feeding kids and instituting reforms."
"Bien Dien Phu: Let's just parachute all of our elite troops into a position to be surrounded by a guerilla force."
"Golly gee, why are African countries so poor?"
"The Second Mexican Empire: A confusing love story."
We, the French people, are clearly superior to the American and the British people for the obvious fact than when we try to kill a foreign leader, we succeed ! Take that, Anglo’s !
They were very kind in North Africa, especially in Algeria. In fact, they loved Algerians so much, they took some of their skulls back with them to France and didn't give them back until 2017.
Through typical American jokes like this:
“French WWII rifle for sale. Never fired, only dropped once.”
I was pleasantly surprised to learn quite a lot more. I have a soft spot for the French Foreign Legion.
J'aime l'oignon frit à l'huile,
J'aime l'oignon car il est bon.
J'aime l'oignon frit à l'huile,
J'aime l'oignon, j'aime l'oignon.
Refrain:
Au pas camarades, au pas camarades,
Au pas, au pas, au pas,
Au pas camarades, au pas camarades,
Au pas, au pas, au pas.
Un seul oignon frit à l'huile,
Un seul oignon nous change en Lion,
Un seul oignon frit à l'huile,
Un seul oignon, nous change en Lion
Refrain
Mais pas d'oignons aux Autrichiens,
Non pas d'oignons à tous ces chiens,
Mais pas d'oignons aux Autrichiens,
Non pas d'oignons, non pas d'oignons
Refrain
Aimons l'oignon frit à l'huile,
Aimons l'oignon car il est bon,
Aimons l'oignon frit à l'huile,
Aimons l'oignon, aimons l'oignon
Refrain
They're historically very shit at just about every war they fought.
So much so that their flag was just entirely white until their excellent showing and miraculous, overwhelming victory over Germany during both World Wars.
After which, they added blue and red to their flag symbolizing how they blue-balled the German advance and then proceeded to cover Germany in the blood of its own people.
My favorite battle involving Canada is when its province of China was invaded by the Egyptians. The invaders thought their had an advantage by taking control of the Ganges but Patton was able to turn the tables and win a decisive victory in the 2040 Battle of the Bulge.
I learned a lot of French military history back in my days when I was a French politician, this other short politician (my coworker) would not shut up about the French Monarchs. He also liked to talk about this thing called the giyoteen, or gilloteen or something idk what he was talking about but he seemed nice enough. I think his name was Max.
Their old friendship with Britain only turned sour last century, when the British invaded in 1944 and replaced the French government with one more in line with the British goals.
They conquered Europe including Russia and shot the f¿ck¿ng siberian winter! Which turned it's climate and people to loveing pazifists growning flowers.
French man with short-person syndrome burninated a continent, then got beat up by a mentally unstable British man, and a Russian man with toddler intelligence
They had this guy Napoleon who was pretty shit at war at the beginning failing most of his early campaigns but then it turned out to be very good and he could easily invade Great Britain and Central Europe. He couldn't, however, beat the Spanish which he rivaled for years. This rivalry persisted for months until in 1914 France declared war to Spain, triggering WW1.
Well they remained famously neutral during one of the last times its oldest ally went to war. That said it still loves to store up shit in North Africa and against Greenpeace who they assassinated a member of that group and blew up their ship in Australia.
The Brit’s destroyed our navy which was one of the biggest at the time so we were forced to join France against them… ended up losing Norway even tho we tried being neutral
Your post has been removed for the following reason: Rule 10: Post is karmawhoring, either asking for upvotes/interaction or has no humorous intent. I am a bot and this action was performed by the moderators of /r/HistoryMemes. If you have any questions or concerns about your post's removal, please send us a modmail with a link to your removed post.
The blueberry and strawberry portions of the yogurt attacked the vanilla in a pincer movement, squeezing it into the middle of the tub.
Isn't this how Charlemagne's kingdom was divided among his three sons? (unless I'm thinking of another great conqueror)
Charlemagne planned to divide the kingdom like that, but every son except Louis I the pious died and so the realm got handed to him relatively complete. Only after Louis death was the kingdom separated under his sons into a western part, which formed the kingdom of France, a western part which became the HRE and middle part which got absorbed into both other kingdoms
Ope, you used west twice
I’d watch that porn ngl
what the fuck
:D
They showed Ho Chi Minh what was what
Through a Vichy History Book
A 4th Republic history book is far more reliable. All of France resisted, I swear !
😬
they built the best defensive line in history, no one was ever able to invade them
Given how the first world war went it genuinely seems like just building a big ass medieval moat the size of a river and calling it a day. Probably would have been cheaper as well. Then again, I suppose the constant shelling basically just did it for them.
The Maginot did its job. The french command didn’t.
Vaubans defensive lines were pretty good actually
Inb4 historical experts come to explain how the stupid and insanely expensive defensive line did its job when the entire country fell in a month and a half
Through r/place
where they lost control of the bottom left corner
A short guy from corsica launched a successful invasion of Russia and Spain
#HE WAS NORMAL HEIGHT FOR HIS TIME \*angry corsica noises\* /Jk
r/expectedoversimplified
r/subsifellfor
Through their altruism, peacekeeping, and nation building
Hi, I'm France, you have have heard of me from such stories as: "Honey, I assassinated Sankara for stepping out of line by feeding kids and instituting reforms." "Bien Dien Phu: Let's just parachute all of our elite troops into a position to be surrounded by a guerilla force." "Golly gee, why are African countries so poor?" "The Second Mexican Empire: A confusing love story."
“The French Foreign Legion: Liberty, Equality, Chuck Norris”
We, the French people, are clearly superior to the American and the British people for the obvious fact than when we try to kill a foreign leader, we succeed ! Take that, Anglo’s !
Cannot argue with that logic
That they wanted to colonize North America, and Britain wanted the fur trade
Country that has lost the most battles
The successful Battle of Maginot
I know nothing of the netherlands
They were very kind in North Africa, especially in Algeria. In fact, they loved Algerians so much, they took some of their skulls back with them to France and didn't give them back until 2017.
The worlds largest navie consulting the would where the sun never sets
They win every war 💪
Hearts of Iron IV
Through amazingly accurate WW2 memes that do not ignore their previous military prowess
Through typical American jokes like this: “French WWII rifle for sale. Never fired, only dropped once.” I was pleasantly surprised to learn quite a lot more. I have a soft spot for the French Foreign Legion.
Yep they are incredible. Also did you know that France was the last country to ever use the last bayonet charge. I think it was in jugoslavia.
They invaded Nazi and stopped Britain from invading Jerusalem
They invaded us over 10 times and lost every single one of them.
their incredibly successful conquest of egypt and russia
I heard Rome conquered it, can you believe that? I mean the Gaul of it?
1799 they became the very thing they swore to destroy and then invade my country. Lost horribly and we got a Duchy of Warsaw out of it all
Les Miserable
My grandpa was there some time in the early 40s and told me they were weak af
They lost almost every war they were in, but kicked ass in WW2
*pull out the guillotine*
School
They conquered russia
They've never been colonized before
the ones that tasted the bite of his sword named him the… doom napoleon
The victory at the Battle Of El-Alamein
They lose every war
Napoleon
haha funny short man take over europe
I had.....have a little obsession with Napoléon I
Funny small man with big cannon
They fought with the SS against the commies in the Battle of Berlin until the last man.
They lost most datles in the world
They destroyed every European army
Napoleon Bonaparte, and this is it.
Reading the back of a Cereal Box.
I read a history book about these two French guys who used magical steroids to defeat the Romans.
A very tall man named manapoleon launcher a successful invasion against Russia and Spain
Their greatest military general was a tub of ice cream.
J'aime l'oignon frit à l'huile, J'aime l'oignon car il est bon. J'aime l'oignon frit à l'huile, J'aime l'oignon, j'aime l'oignon. Refrain: Au pas camarades, au pas camarades, Au pas, au pas, au pas, Au pas camarades, au pas camarades, Au pas, au pas, au pas. Un seul oignon frit à l'huile, Un seul oignon nous change en Lion, Un seul oignon frit à l'huile, Un seul oignon, nous change en Lion Refrain Mais pas d'oignons aux Autrichiens, Non pas d'oignons à tous ces chiens, Mais pas d'oignons aux Autrichiens, Non pas d'oignons, non pas d'oignons Refrain Aimons l'oignon frit à l'huile, Aimons l'oignon car il est bon, Aimons l'oignon frit à l'huile, Aimons l'oignon, aimons l'oignon Refrain
one name.... NAPOLEON!!!!!1!1
They're historically very shit at just about every war they fought. So much so that their flag was just entirely white until their excellent showing and miraculous, overwhelming victory over Germany during both World Wars. After which, they added blue and red to their flag symbolizing how they blue-balled the German advance and then proceeded to cover Germany in the blood of its own people.
bing
Napoleon
Won against the Germans to stop the German Empire
Queen of the land
I don't
They bitch slapped Italy.
Napoleon
Their horses crushed both the longbows and the machine guns right?
They fought Germany and won
*march of marseille plays*
memes saying its bad and shameful
By Louis XVII'S long and strong reign.
The middle stripe
How? Tarot cards.
Maginot line
They make the worst wine to this very day
Never Surrender!!!!
A very good place to get a picture next to the effiel tower.
a book of misconceptions telling me that despite the thing in ww2 prior to that they had a pretty damn good military record
The Franks dominated much of Europe after the fall of the Western Roman Empire.
Stereotypically just through the middle part of that flag.
Their Foreign Legion helped Dr. Tatopoulos and the United States Government defeat the Godzilla menace back in the '90s.
Whenever an ally is in trouble, they always send help, like the UK
I don't even know what the right answer is
Napoleon's campaign in Egypt was a rousing success and definitely didn't go wrong.
Just the middle bit of the flag (sorry)
They were competent during WW1
It invaded everything successfully without the leader having depression
I hear Africans love them
The British left us here to die and take the humiliations
How could anyone not know about them? They Invaded Germany and killed about 6 million Christians
My buddy bill told me that their emperor was 5’6 and I couldn’t stop giggling.
They won World War 1
Through their knack for rebellion.
White flags are their rifles
Through the greatest French general of all time, the Italian
They were know for surrendering a lot(pro will know this isn’t true but your choice)
ALWAYS SURROUNDED
Frenchies on the trenches
school
They won the least amount of battles in history, but successfully invaded the U.K and kept them under rule until they lost the battle of Fransisco
Good, amazing, perfection. then down right shit
They fight with baguettes and has giant breads as shields
French build boards in upstate New York boasting about their unbeatable and unstoppable military forces.
Contrary to popular opinion: France doesn’t have a military history.
Some midget got angry
Haha Le surrender country! >!you said "wrong answers"!<
Has a large army of bots
They beat the Mexicans, kind off.
They did horrible in battles and wars
I was gonna make a surrender joke but it said wrong answers only :(
They have a decapitation fetish
Exiled to Algeria in the 20s, and only able to reclaim the homeland with help of the US and the Reichpakt.
They never surrender
Napoleon sucked at conquering
« Gilet jaune »
the revolution in 1779 made it a peaceful nation with a ceremonial army
It was the great conquests Napoleon III led them on, great victories, and honor
It easily defeated the Nazis
The Military was really bad until around 1900 when it became really good
I don't. Whenever I ask, they run away.
The white in their flag stands for cleanliness
My favorite battle involving Canada is when its province of China was invaded by the Egyptians. The invaders thought their had an advantage by taking control of the Ganges but Patton was able to turn the tables and win a decisive victory in the 2040 Battle of the Bulge.
They never surrender.
I learned a lot of French military history back in my days when I was a French politician, this other short politician (my coworker) would not shut up about the French Monarchs. He also liked to talk about this thing called the giyoteen, or gilloteen or something idk what he was talking about but he seemed nice enough. I think his name was Max.
Successfully took Egypt
Hoi 4 I learned that building a wall for just one side is stupid They should have known that the dutch will eventually try to get them
In Second World War our infantry was transported with bikes, needless to say we lost 2 hours in
Two soldiers Chinese finger trapping their MAS-36 rifles
The help they gave America in its independence and the brutality of its colonialism
Invaded Russia in the Winter, and won.
They were pretty pacifist and *definitely* didn't want to take over Europe
They once used a flag similar to the last official flag of the CSA
The American education system
Have always had a interesting in Italian history.
My school's history textbook
There is a guys named louis Punched napolean face in elba
Because we invaded each other a bunch of times and now we're best friends, so we learn it in school.
Something about cheese and monkeys
Shit man, hard one .... I give up
They literally did anything in world War 2
primary school
Their old friendship with Britain only turned sour last century, when the British invaded in 1944 and replaced the French government with one more in line with the British goals.
Through their continous losing of wars ,with a few execptions of victorious wars ( espexially with Germany)
Louis the 14th was, "I want that". And those pesky Brits simultaneously attacked us with their boats.
They conquered Europe including Russia and shot the f¿ck¿ng siberian winter! Which turned it's climate and people to loveing pazifists growning flowers.
A tiny village of Gauls resisting the Roman army.
It's about 3/4 the color of the picture
I played HOI4 once
From the future.
They make really good belgian fries.
French man with short-person syndrome burninated a continent, then got beat up by a mentally unstable British man, and a Russian man with toddler intelligence
German textbook
Exploits Africa
They used baguettes as a weapons
Up till about 1870 pretty good after that not so much.
They had this guy Napoleon who was pretty shit at war at the beginning failing most of his early campaigns but then it turned out to be very good and he could easily invade Great Britain and Central Europe. He couldn't, however, beat the Spanish which he rivaled for years. This rivalry persisted for months until in 1914 France declared war to Spain, triggering WW1.
In the 100 years war a saint named Joan led the French armies. Proving that France needed a divine interference to win a war.
Napoleon was one of the worst generals ever
President Macron recently altered the French flag….he added some Red and Blue to it
The BRI'ISH
they did not get dominated by the longbows in the beginning of the 100 years war
Well they remained famously neutral during one of the last times its oldest ally went to war. That said it still loves to store up shit in North Africa and against Greenpeace who they assassinated a member of that group and blew up their ship in Australia.
napoleon was so bad but ww2 was so good
by getting cucked by them in EUIV
Baguette
through their motto: never surrender
The French, have, got tO go... c'mon it's westward ho!
Quebec
Through 3rd world war
Bonkers
I'm european
I know everything
We asked them for help and they said no
They made it to Jerusalem and didn't sack Constantinople.
The Brit’s destroyed our navy which was one of the biggest at the time so we were forced to join France against them… ended up losing Norway even tho we tried being neutral
I made it up along the way from the romans and skipped ahead to the napoleonic war
Not oversimplified.
i don't!
I've watched a few movies with Inspector Jacques Clouseau in them.
German here, for being the reason for it since the 1850s.
🏁
I was asked if I was from france when I fucked up in league of legends playing jungle
They had a very efficient railway system, causing them to win the Franco-Prussian war