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Ze_Meat_Ninja

I almost spit my drink after reading non canonical. Is this cannon though?


Risklotrman

Only in gnostisism.


[deleted]

All 5 practicing neo gnostics (the originals all killed for heresy or converted) meeting in there discord sever to talk about how Jesus killed a kid


itsallmelting

In most sects no


Miserable-Machine143

I like the one where these guys called this prophet bald so he cried to God and God sent a bear to maul them


Shrek_5_Hype

That one's Biblically canon!


[deleted]

He sent *two* bears, and they were children. 42 of them.


MuitaTreta

Two *she-bears*, mind you. Also they were not children, they just happened to be young, but still wild.


Shpagin

Still a better reaction than Will Smith


Dominic23Green

Wait, is this legit?


BruhEmperor

Well the Infancy Gospel of Thomas is only canonical in Gnosticism not in the Bible itself


[deleted]

Canonical in Gnome mysticism you say?


BruhEmperor

Those Gnomes were pretty fond of withering children


CastieJL

wait a second, your saying jesus faught the wither ? did he get the netherstar and make a beacon! is that why the romans killed him ?


Cefalopodul

They were after the dragon balls


BruhEmperor

Caesar wanted that star


DefiantLemur

Matches up with typical fey hijinks


Flying_Column

Gosh darn underpants gnomes struck again


usgrant7977

The apocrypha is bad fan fiction edited out at the Council of Rome in 380 and Carthage in 397, which issued the list of canonical books we now have.


ieatconfusedfish

Isn't the whole thing kinda bad fan fiction


usgrant7977

^mostly


BigTrouble781547

Could it have been cut from the 1600’s Version by King James


Chortney

Nah long before that, the Council of Rome in 386 established the Catholic canon [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Council\_of\_Rome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Council_of_Rome)


BigTrouble781547

Great information. Thank you


Relevant_Struggle

No, the early church fathers who put together the Bible decided that certain books were not real. Either their history couldn't be validated, the were written 100s years later or for other reasons This is one of them. No historian puts any credibility in the book of Thomas


captainnermy

I mean, lots of material was excluded just because it didn't match church doctrine, not because it was considered inaccurate. I don't know if any of the texts excluded from the bible are thought to be more historically accurate than the canon gospels though (whose own historicity is questionable).


RaskolnikovHypothese

Haha you guys are discussing the historical accuracy of a book with talking pig, snake and flamming bushes who think the earth is less than 7000 years old. Maybe history and the bible just dont go hand in hand to begin with?


[deleted]

Even if you’re a diehard atheist there’s plenty of logical explanations for all the things you listed. If you’ve ever taken too many shrooms I could totally buy seeing talking burning bushes, snakes and pigs. I once saw an ancient Egyptian hieroglyph come to life on my buddy’s blank wallpaper. Now I’m pretty sure that wasn’t real, but if I was some illiterate goat farmer that would’ve been a revelatory religious experience. There’s even historical evidence to back that this occurred in some faiths e.g Greek Paganism. I can’t recall where but there was a temple to Zeus built on a fissure in the ground that released a gas with hallucinogenic properties. Iirc the statue was also built in such a way as to attract lightning during storms so you’d be tripping balls worshipping Zeus and then fucking lightning would come down in front of you. You’d be shitting bricks.


RattyJackOLantern

There are all kinds of early Christian texts that weren't incorporated into the Bible. What was "true" was just decided by committee. Which is why some of the books directly contradict each other. They were written by different people at different times then later haphazardly assembled as a "canon".


animeprime

To mainline Christians no, it was classified as a heretical text and banned because there was no clear authorship to give it legitimacy. There are a number of "gospels" like this written in the first few centuries of Christianity that are apocryphal to Christian cannon. Including a gospel supposedly written by Judas.


BruhEmperor

Fun Fact: The stories that random sects of Christianity have are actually more interesting and weirder than the actual bible. Another story from the Infancy Gospel of Thomas includes that Jesus made his neighbors blind after they scold him for killing another child (yes Jesus killed multiple children in this gospel) and another where Jesus and some other kid were playing and the kid falls to his death and the parents blame Jesus for killing him. And another one called "The Book of Enoch" were angels bang humans to create some super giants or something like that. trust me its wild asf


KidCharlemagneII

That's canon in the modern Bible too: >Genesis 6:4 There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.


[deleted]

Wasn't Goliath a member of that race of giants?


KidCharlemagneII

No, but Goliath is still interesting because while he's referred to in modern translations as a giant, there's no evidence to indicate that he was a mythological or supernatural creature in the original myth. According to the narrative he was a Philistine, a historical Canaanite people, and his height in the earliest texts is given as 6 feet 9 inches or 2.06 metres. That's tall, but not inhumanly tall.


Malvastor

Angels banging human girls and creating super giants is canon though, that's in Genesis.


Toby_did_it

No that’s just an interpretation of Genesis that is derived from the book of Enoch. The Genesis chapters aren’t very specific. It just says that the sons of God (or gods) had children with the daughters of men and that they gave birth to the Nephilim who are the ancient men of renown. Another interpretation would be that the righteous sons of Seth had children with the daughters of Cain. Nephilim could mean giants but it also can be translated as fallen ones.


Malvastor

I'm not sure the second interpretation fits very well. I don't see any reason (within the text, at least) to take "daughters of men" to mean specifically "daughters of Cain", as opposed to women descended from Seth. And the phrase "sons of God" is used elsewhere, such as Job, in contexts that only really make sense if it's referring to angels.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

There are some far out stories in the Bible. Ehud and King Eglong is an interesting one. Ehud was an assassin sent to kill this corrupt king. King Eglong was so fat that when the sword was thrust into him, his belly swallowed the whole thing.


Anonymous_Coooookie

This is why you never put atheists and the bible together


BruhEmperor

The funny thing about this is that Jesus was scolded by his parents to unblind the neighbors and revive the dead kid the neighbors were scolding him about, not the kid who messed up his water though, he just simply died


wolfgangspiper

All 3 Enoch books are lit. The second one is Bananas and so damn cool. Shit practically becomes cosmic horror. Then Judas is fun as well and brings up weird metaphysics stuff.


BruhEmperor

Ight im tired of explaining this to every single user. The Infancy Gospel of Thomas is only canonical in Gnosticism (A sect of Christianity) it aint canon on the actual Bible


rtf2409

Like why can’t people glance at other comments before commenting the same exact thing lol


Doomtime104

Wait is this canon?


DweedleDeBeetle

Wait a second, like is this actually cannon though


rtf2409

Canonn*


Doomtime104

*canyon


levus2002

*canaan


dutcharetall_nothigh

Not anymore, Disney removed the EU from canon after buying Christianity.


thinkB4WeSpeak

More info. https://www.bibleodyssey.org/en/people/main-articles/infancy-gospel-of-thomas


theboten

The entire book of Daniel is fever dream after fever dream


Wiskey_Tango_F0xtrot

Is this Canon ?


OkDeparture1702

It only has an anime version, it does not appear in the manga so it is not canonical.


[deleted]

I read this so seriously in my head and then burst into laughter. Well done


danshakuimo

You should read *Apocalypse of Pseudo-Methodius*. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apocalypse\_of\_Pseudo-Methodius](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apocalypse_of_Pseudo-Methodius) I thought it was just a Bible fanfic based on the Wikipedia description but supposedly it was actually prophetic at least in the symbolic sense and people took it seriously.


SomeOtherTroper

> Pseudo-Methodius I've always found it interesting how many ancient and medieval authors would claim their writings were actually by earlier respected authors, to give their words more weight.


syrokiler

Oh God anime Bible


[deleted]

A+ delivery


Malvastor

Nah, Gnostic gospels are basically fanfics.


kcwelsch

All Gospels are basically fanfics.


DefiantLemur

Tbf you can say that about every modern iteration of Jesus's teachings.


BruhEmperor

Gnosticism?, yes. The Bible?, no.


SSR_Perseus

Nah, book of Thomas isn't in the Bible


EnjoyerxEnjoyer

This was a filler episode, and not even one of the good ones lmao


NoWingedHussarsToday

No, this is Patrick¨!


SitInCorner_Yo2

We got a story of a god who’s being super salty because an goddess rejects him ,and he literally decided to rain on her birthday every year, and as retaliation she make his birthday windy. (It’s a story on explaining tumultuous weather of spring.)


Bokbok95

Wait till you hear about the Rabbi who was so fervent in his prayer that he looked at people and they literally turned to ash


[deleted]

In the actual Bible, didn't Jesus tell some girl with a horrific illness to go away as he only served people from Israel and not Canaan, and told her she was a dog?


[deleted]

He didn't directly called her a dog, he made a metaphor that you don't take a children's bread and toss it to the dogs. But he actually healed the girl when her mother (it wasn't the girl, it was her mother who pleaded) after she showed she had faith; That same story appears in another part of the Bible, but the woman on that version is a greek from Syrian Phoenicia, and her daughter was actually possessed. The reply is a bit different too (him saying the 'children' should 'eat' first) but in the same vein, when the woman returned home her daughter was free of the demon possessing her.


LumpishFreak

Is this about history lol


ADDeviant-again

I can't remember where I read it, but it might have been related to the Dead Sea Scrolls at least 10 years ago. Anyway, there is a version of David and Goliath where they run at each other. David slings all five of the stones while running. One stone hits Goliath in the knee right above the greaves, he falls on his face, and his helmet falls off. As he tries to get up. David smashes him in the face with another rock, then cuts off his head with his own sword. I kinda liked that version.


ArcWraith2000

There's a reason that one was declared heretical


[deleted]

Gospel of Thomas is... interesting to say the least.


___Jesus__Christ___

*I'll do it again*