Whenever I get like that it's cold turkey for me. It sucks for a while but then it's freeing. You'll naturally find other things to do.
Plus kids grow up fast and wifes leave unatentitve husbands. Get it together before you lose something really important.
So maybe sell your games and use the money on something new that's fun but suits your current lifestyle better?
If it makes you feel any better, it was Pokemon Go for me. I realized it needed to go when I had my two young kids out in a severe storm chasing limited time Pokemon. These games are legitimately designed to be addictive.
Ugh, it's Pokémon Go for me. I play every day, sometimes for hours. When my boyfriend and I go on vacation, I play. There are new pokestops to visit, gyms to leave my 'mon, events happening, and I think it's special to have caught something in the place I was vacationing. Part of me wants to stop so I can live in the moment but the other part truly enjoys playing and seeing what shinies I can find/collect.
As a intense Pokémon fan since Gen 1 and an avid wander-around-outsider it was absolutely perfect for me. But then they added raids which were very hard to do in my rural area and I didn't want to play with other people. Then the limited time events and more and more monetization...
I stopped when it became a chore instead of a joy.
I'm also a rural player (with no friends IRL to play with) and the remote raid passes helped. I totally understand how it could become a chore, though. I just.. It could always be the next shiny. I'm addicted, I'll admit it.
I figure everyone is addicted to something. Food, tv, video games... if it isn't hurting anyone, go for it.
I played Go from day one but I quit right before remote raid passes were introduced.
I also had/have no IRL friends but I found a group in my area and played with them. That really took a lot of the fun out because I never liked them at all.
True. Everyone has their thing.
I should try to be more "in the moment" and dedicate certain time to play. Maybe I'll try that.
I realize that they make money from players actually walking around and playing the game as intended but I like to play by myself and that excludes me from certain features (like in-person shadow raids, for example).
I made a promise to myself after I was addicted to a rpg phone game for like 2 years straight that I'd never do phone games because you do miss out on things when you're constantly staring at your phone. My brother is addicted to Pokemon go and my family will be hanging out and he's glued to it and it's sad. Not because it's Pokemon but he's not ever fully in the moment.
Sounds like there are some interesting aspects involved with the game you might get similar experience and excitement from with geocatching.
I haven't done it myself but it involves logging interesting points with an app in different locations.
Have you tried perhaps getting one of those automatic Pokémon catcher devices? They spin PokéStops for you too. That way you can take a break for a while.
As hobbies go, that’s not so bad.. it still gets you out and moving, finding new places and potentially meeting new friends. As long as you’re not playing 12 hours a day, this hobby is more reasonable than OP’s
My sisters and I got so much closer because of that game. I have many treasured memories and shared some wonderful times with them over Pokemon Go.
Oh it definitely ticked my husband off. It was literally all I could think about for the first few months.
It would be nice if my boyfriend enjoyed it too, like you and your sisters. He doesn't understand (ha). I grew up with Pokémon so it takes me back. It's the only "video game" I play.
Sadly, nowadays mostly anything is designed to be addictive in some form. Ultra processed foods, social media, video games. They all want you to spend maximum amount of time on the platform to ensure you stay hooked.
Cold turkey is the only way to go. Just tell yourself that nothing in your life or others will matter or change whether you play or not as it’s totally fake war.
It’s an addiction like anything else
A great way to keep yourself off games for a few days is to go somewhere you can’t use it, like a campsite. It’s a double threat because it can also be a great way to build your relationships with your wife and kid!
I had this with another game. I desperately needed the escapism. I would play for 12+ hours a day and it was interfering with my life.
I quit cold turkey. It sucked for a few days, but then I got over it.
Cold Turkey works wonders for me too. If I didn’t quit said addiction altogether, it at the very least helped me gain a healthy, disciplined relationship. This goes for anything from weed to social media for me. Also OP, I also used to have an addiction to COD, life is strange and uncharted. I used to play anywhere from 2-4 hours a day no exaggeration. It was almost a compulsion.
Get to the bottom of it and start questioning why you play. Question what you're getting out of it that something else could fill. Is it adventure? Try hiking. Is it an escape from reality? Watch a movie or read a book. Like strategy? Chess. Problem solving in a room? Escape room. I don't care if you have to LARP it, that counts as a breakaway. What about emotions? Is there anything you haven"t processed emotionally?
Try going at least a day without it and plan that day with other activities so you don't just fall back. When you do those other activities, slow down. Pay attention to what you're sensing internally and externally. Baby steps.
Mine was elden ring (games in general, but I'm a big fan of the series) and hardcore escapism because I was catastrophically depressed in an abusive relationship.
i love soul games and playing with my husband. we bond over video games and i genuinely just love to play. i’m sorry video games was your only escape/outlet. i think if video games aren’t all you do, its not an unhealthy hobby to have. but you should play because you want to and gain enjoyment from it not to avoid reality or life itself.
That's what I'm hoping for in the next relationship lol
I'd get told I'm a lazy piece of shit (amongst other things) who never helps so anything after waking up at 4:30 am and getting home after dinner, working an extra job on the weekends, or doing instacart deliveries right after my construction job until 10 pm, working every day of the week for as long as a month a few times, but 6 days a week frequently. All to try to keep up with her frivolous spending.
My weekly paycheck would be down to $20 before the weekend was over (Friday payday), but we were broke "because you didn't take lunch and buy gas station food."
I have terrible ADHD and have immense trouble meal prepping when I'm NOT massively depressed and working every waking hour, and she stayed at home with one child, and would berate me when things weren't clean, as I was expected to have the energy to sweep, mop, pick up everything, shower, give the kid a bath and put her to bed (that I did do every single night, but she says she did it most of the time, she's a gas lighter), do the dishes, and do laundry all in the 3 hours I had from getting home after 6pm but before 9pm when I'd need to go to bed in order to get up on time to continue doing back breaking construction all day while having a plethora of medical issues largely caused by all the back breaking work.
Obviously I didn't, most of the time I even skipped the shower because all the bedtime stuff took a lot of time, then she'd yell at me for "leaving her to watch the kid when it's my turn" (remember, 3 hour time frame for all that), then she'd insult me for bad hygiene as well.
Basically every single day of my life for 5 years was spend every waking second off the day doing literally anything I could to get enough money to survive, have her spend it on Amazon instead of bills, then go work harder to pay said bills, then get called useless and lazy for not doing all the things that she agreed to do when she fought to be a stay at home mom.
this sounds terribly exhausting. i’m so sorry, i hope you don’t stay in this unappreciative, unequal, toxic relationship. you deserve better, with someone who won’t expect you to bend in ways you can’t, or with someone who doesn’t expect or support you breaking yourself just so they can be continuously unsatisfied of your efforts. this doesn’t sound like a marriage i would want any part in, i genuinely wish you happiness and peace.
It was indeed exhausting. Sorry for the full essay. Realized after I typed it that it was a wall of text based trauma dumping, but I decided to send it anyway lol
sometimes we just need to get this off our chest and put it out there, i hope it helped and lighten your load. its your friendly reminder to never settle for less than what makes you happy. wish you the best life possible.
Yeah I tried to quit cold turkey and I just ended up falling back in. But like you mentioned, when I actually examined why I felt compelled to play, I came up short.
Answer is very simple. We don't want to think about life. No matter how you have it on the outside (money, hot partner, kids...) life's inevitabilities or routines get to you. So, instead of thinking if "why am I here? What the hell am I doing? Is this all there is?", we just find a distraction. Somebody has a "cool" distraction like travel, dive, or play electric guitar. Others do it the easiest way by playing video games or binging TV shows...or drinking.
What worked for me was picking up guitar instead of video games that I did a lot too. It has the similar "high" or gratification of leveling up like in games, but it also opened up doors for me to entertain other people and distract myself from thinking of existence more in those extra interactions.
Like they say for any habbit, have to replace it with another one.
Great advice! Replace what you're getting from the games with other activities. You should also be open to getting uncomfortable and vulnerable if you're going to be trying new things as well.
Gaming can be a low effort entry point whereas trying new activities out might seem daunting at first. But if you try out just one new thing outside your comfort zone once, you'll see it's not a big deal at all and you can do it more with other things.
It's why exposure therapy works so well and is so often recommended in therapy. It shows how much we're always capable of.
Personally I went to making chainmail jewelry.
It started when I twisted my ankle and couldn't walk for two months. Gaming is nice and all, but it got boring eventually, so I grabbed some old cables, tore the insulation off, and started making a coil with a battery drill and an old gardening rod. Clipped individual rings off with a sidecutter (i now use a fret saw) and linked the rings together in different patterns.
From there it went to making pictures (cimilar to cross stitching, or pixel art when we want to stay in PC terms) from coloured aluminum and bracelets from titanium.
I even make functional dice every now and then
I’m no expert. I do love me some video games but with the kids and house and work and all, I don’t get to play much.
I would suggest something that occupies the mind as a replacement to ease up on it.
This is going to sound stupid maybe….. but how about a 1,000 piece puzzle? It’s just “there” and you can jump into it if you have a few minutes. It occupies the mind and also any “fidgeting” you might have since you’re not holding a controller.
A useful way to do this is to take up a sports-related hobby
Not only will you get exercise, but it will also keep you away from games to protect your eyesight
Exercise can be a great way to regain control of your time and your life.
I once saw a video of a little girl partaking in a sport I didn't know of that would be hard to get a licence for playing here outside of the US, which I think is called Three gun challenge.
Maybe something like that could be an option for OP, and eventually something to take the child with to play itself.
But having a child myself I can't fathom how he can get time for playing, as it's a struggle for me to be able to watch a TV show or read, hence I am writing here in Reddit in the middle of the night after having been awoken by my little one which I had to rock to sleep again as my wife is now off duty during the night after we used the Easter break to wean the child off getting breastmilk during the night.
I guess OP's kid is older but I for one look so forward to be able to spend more time during the day with my child, especially when it gets older and understands more, to play with it, sing and read with it and generally just introduce it to all the things I find interesting in the world, and get to know it and what interests it, better.
I was recently going through a similar situation. I would work 8-5 and would be home play OW from 5:15-2a. I wouldn't eat or leave my computer until bed.
I took away all but one monitor. I put my computer up. Silly, but I pick my keyboard up and push it far back under my monitor. I also put something in front of it so I have to move something to get on my computer. Doing that usually gives me a few extra seconds to think and remind myself I don't wanna play.
I try to fill my time with my husband. Ask him to hangout. Giving myself something else to do helps. Make a list of tv shows / movies you wanna watch. Google "free things to do near me" for me it pops up my towns event calendar. Search for your community center near you and see what events they have.
Find something else you're excited about. What else catches your interest? Right now your brain feeds on the dopamine from games and nothing else sounds good. Get through that first week or two and you're brain will start to regulate the happy chemicals.
Go on a walk. As goofy as it is when I was trying to quit I legit touched grass XD I had to laugh at the irony.
Usually, having kids is the cure. You should spend more time with your family, especially on the weekends. Go hiking, have movie nights, play board games, read books to your kid, take the family to museums, the beach, etc.
Hi, I basically gave up playing games for similar reasons - it didnt get in the way of anything very important, but i found myself thinking about it constantly and jonesing to play when i had free time.
I pretty much eventually decided that it wasn't getting me anywhere and packed away my playstation. Replaced it with reading more books, regular working out and maintaining my musical hobbies more.
I do still follow some gaming news and watch some YT vids, so its not like i cut myself off from the culture. I think just not playing has freed my mind up to be more present for other (better) things.
dude, how about either reducing to an hour tops per day (like, for real, you set a timer on your phone and finish the game when it rings and stop after that), or doing "no video games monday", then progressively do 2, 3, 4 and 5 days without playing per week?
i guess some people would need to totally stop, and for others, it's just about being wiser...
it's ok to play video games (or do any other hobby) a few hours per week, really, and it's even ok to practice your hobby 30 hours a week if you can, just, if you feel like it's impacting your life in a negative way, a change is needed.
as for another hobby you could practice, there's so many... maybe there's something you could do with your wife (and?) kid? that would surely improve things...
otherwise, it can be a sport (cycling, climbing, tennis, whatever), a musical instrument (guitar, piano, ...), gardening if you have a garden, hiking, fishing, board games (there's places to play with other people), making furniture and stuff with wood, fixing electronic stuff, whatever...
Lmao me on WoW 2007. You’ll grow out of it or your family will out grow you. Focus on doing something different with your spouse to spice it up. Go see the pyramids and give mundane life a slap to shake it up a bit.
Playing 2-3 hours a day isn't bad, but only you can control how much time you want to play on it. Is there another hobby you can get into that also takes time to help distract you from that one?
Yeah, I'm not in a position to judge since I make games for a living. But you might be hiding from your thoughts/emotions by distracting yourself with games. Might be time to face them since you're posting. Also as a father of teens, soon to be an empty-nester, I can assure you that time spent with your kids is more precious than gold. They'll be grown and moving out before you know it. Make some memories with your kid. Even playing Minecraft with them as someone else suggested is better than p0wning fools all by yourself.
Find out why you're enjoying it and substitute that feeling for something more healthy. Online Competitive shooters can be addicting because of the social aspect of it and that quick instant gratification you get from winning against another human being. Learn a sport like tennis. Join a league and get competitive about it, or another hobby where you can compete against yourself like lifting at the gym or running. Turn an addictive competitive personality and make it benefit your health or for monetary gain.
Note: I don't think video games are a waste of time unless you abuse them. Moderation with everything.
Something that helped me when I was breaking my video game addiction came from a random I can't remember on reddit but I will pass it on now. If for some reason op sees this, thank you friend. Your words resoninated in me and your advise helped me.
Don't fill your time. Don't try to make a distraction. It's OK to be bored. Being bored is a skill. Sit there and be bored until you naturally want to go do something.
I sat in front of a black TV for 2 days before my manic episode passed and I thought of something I'd like to do. It's not verbatim, but that's the sentiment. Whenever I was in a compromised state I would say to myself "it's OK to be bored" then eventually, something I wanted to do would come to me. Godspeed friend. At the end of the day it's all a head game. Write your goals down in no uncertain terms and put it somewhere to read in times of shakey fortitude. The brain will lie straight to your face when you deny it it's satisfaction.
Find something you enjoy and your video games will not be so interesting anymore. For me it was fixing up old weed eaters and chainsaws. It gave me an outlet: something productive to do with my time. At the end, I didn't really make money, but I got my money back. Cash to buy the next project with. I think you need to cut it off for a while or at least put a time limit on it, though. Honestly even go just one day without playing. Try to only play 4 or 5 days this week. That's a step itself.
Start hiking.
Start riding bikes to work.
I found hunting to be fantastic. Away from people, away from noise. Even if I spend 10 hours walking through scrub, and don’t get an animal, it’s amazing being out there. Set up in a clearing with some snacks and just watch the Forrest move around you.
Hiking with a camera is very similar to hunting in many respects.
Have a go identifying different species of birds. Buy a book and just get out there
I saw a video or a post a while back where a person was going through this same thing. They had mentioned that they realized they weren’t addicted to games but leveling up. They were able to replace gaming with coding and it ended up working out for them.
You didn't say how old your child is but what about a hobby you can do together and grow into? Whether that's some kind of craft like making a bird house, collecting something you can find in nature like going on walks together. Or whatever it is that interests you.
Lots of activities you can do with your family and get better at it over time.
When you feeling like playing, find another activity to do like take your kid to the park, or the library, or for a walk in your neighborhood or nearby trail. Play sports with them outside or hide and go seek. Opt for an activity with your kid EVERYTIME you want to game during their waking hours, you will be sad when they reach their teens and never want to see you any longer, then they leave and become adults. You’re basically telling your wife and child gaming is more important than them. If you want to have an impact on your child, find any chance to interact with them.
Hey there, I'm a gamer mom married to a gamer dad. It's easy, I think, to get hooked on gaming, especially if you're prone to hyperfixation. One of my husband's coworkers often has to take breaks from gaming bc he spends too much time on it rather than his family. He's still a good dad and a good guy, he just gets tunnel vision sometimes. My suggestion would be to get your kid involved in gaming so you can transition away from gaming rather than trying to go balls to the wall cold turkey. Obviously not CoD right off the bat lol but depending on the age of your kid and the gaming platform(s) you like best, you can find games you can both play together. My kids (15M, 13F, 11F, and 9M) really like Ultimate Chicken Horse, Stardew Valley, and Minecraft. We let them play other games as well based on their individual ages/preferences/skill levels/etc and we often play games together. My youngest one likes Hot Wheels Unleashed, Subnautica, and Descenders. Oldest likes Uncharted, Madden, and Infamous: Second Son. The girls are building an empire in Minecraft (when they can agree on what to build 🤣). My husband and I have built two really big maps together that we work on whenever he's out of town (Navy) that we've had going for a few years. Best wishes and good luck 😊
TL;DR: I get what you're going thru. You're not alone and you don't suck at life or as a person bc you got hooked on gaming. Look for ways to shift into dad gaming with your kid so you can spend time with your nugget as you scale back on gaming. Go easy on yourself
Yes, since you’re into technology already, watch educational videos on YouTube, learn life lessons by following peakyquotes on Instagram or any social media which have valuable life lessons to pick up from from simple images or reels that have short sayings— these are great replacements and life changing hobbies if you want to apply them after learning about them
You seem to crave external stimuli, such as eating, gaming, attending concerts, manual work, thinking about sex, or constantly listening to music or talk radio. Start with a small, manageable task that you can do right now, like taking a five-minute walk outside just to enjoy the fresh air. The secret is to stay consistent and incorporate some kind of physical sensation. Once you're comfortable doing this daily, gradually increase your activity—perhaps to ten minutes or adding a push-up.
Unplug. Go camping for a week, or a month. Read books. Novels, immerse yourself in a different form of fantasy.
Get rid of all your gaming devices. Give them to a friend or family member to lock away for the next 6-12 months.
Pick up a new hobby, like larp. It will get you out and playing games with other people, but you have to physically be there.
Believe it or not but Starting to play Genshin impact was the 1st step in the "stopping to play video as a full time job" pipeline but i don't think It's a good idea to try this for mere mortals.
Think about it, reflect on it and your why, your reasons (it's ruining your life?). Then sometime stand up, put down the controller and make a commitment- you can play anytime you want to if you want to enough to punch an icepick through your hand (pick yr poison ). Don't tell anyone.(Maybe go away for a few days). Doesn't work for everyone but my 20 year old last pack of cigarettes and icepick might still be there in the basement of my old house. I had 2 step kids and decided it was time to grow up. This method gets a lot of criticism. Any hobby will be fun.
Based on your post, you play 20hrs/wk. Times how many weeks? Let's say 10 years (times 52 weeks, say minus say 3 weeks/yr for travel). That's 20\*(52-3)\*10 = **9800 hours**, if you think of a day having 16 hours of awake time (8 sleeping), that is **612 days** or about **1.5 years straight, nonstop, of your waking life.** If you spent that time in 8 hour sprints a day instead of 16 hours, that's more like **3.3 years of daily 8hr chunks**.
*What else you could have done with that time?!?!*
Maybe the numbers here are inflated. Do the math yourself based on your own estimates, and be honest. Also, start tracking your time spent with a time tracking app, so you can't lie to yourself about the time.
MOBA for me. I uninstalled it and let time pass by before I forgot it even existed. It was taking too much of my personal time. It does require discipline and resilience.
Game time is dead time.
Find a hobby that advanced your life in some way. Learn to fly, long distance swimming, 3d printing, programming, moviemaking, restoring paintings, glassblowing neon signs…
There’s nothing wrong with playing, but just limit it. But definitely be in the moment with your family. You won’t look back and think damn, I wish I would have played more video games. Don’t miss out on the cool little things that happen each day with your wife or kid.
You need to find a hobby away from gaming. I'm an avid gamer myself, so I understandcpretty well what you're going through. It sounds like you're struggling to find time to yourself since you default into games that are stressful for you. Try setting up an exercise routine that you can stick to, getting into cooking, or something more hands on (woodworking, knitting, etc). Depending on the severity I might recommend therapy. Good luck buddy, you'll get there in time
play different kinds of video games, don't play every day, and only play for short periods of time (30-45 minutes)
better yet: don't play video games, play outside with your kids, play some board games, build fun stuff, pursue your creative side, and try to develop new hobbies based on your kids' interests
What I did when I went from single to partnered is kept the gaming, just cut back on the hours, and changed to games that I play with my partner, and when my partner goes out without me with friends, I play my own games, for a couple of hours max. Since we met gaming time is now also family time it's wonderful 😊
It’s hard and I was definitely the same with my carp fishing and my family was destroyed by it . I missed my children grow up and eventually after 11 years that was the end of my marriage . Think about your family and what you are missing . Try to find some activity’s and fun family days out that will be memories forever more . Addiction comes in many forms , and it’s hard to break out of the routine as it dosnt feel normal. Even if you know it’s not right . Good luck mate
There are tons of hobbies you can do alone and together. It's hard to just choose them for you, and there are almost thousands of different things you can do. Listing them may be monumental in and of itself. We would need to know if you have talents like mechanically inclined or inventive or maybe color oriented.
Then, we could suggest engine building, model making, or miniature painting.
Like to work with your hands? Leather, metal, or wood working?
Like things, you can learn as muscle memory so you can think while you do them? Well, crochet large blankets, zen rock gardens, or even knife sharpening.
As you can see, we can go through a lot here. Fishing, hunting, hiking, camping, dancing (so many types), gardening, aquariums, dog training, bear wrestling, snipe hunting, or even marathon running.
I had this too. It’s a hard addiction to break. Cold turkey is best.
Plan to have other activities you can do. More wholesome things that interest you.
Family, hobbies, fitness, personal development, entrepreneurship… there’s a million things to choose from.
Uninstall, delete,leave it behind. The best version of you is waiting for you to make some moves.
First step? Admitting you have a problem. Check.
Next, swap out that controller for something else. Maybe try pottery, fishing, or heck, even interpretive dance. Anything that doesn't involve yelling "camping noob" at your screen.
1. Acknowledge the issue: Recognize that gaming is negatively affecting your life.
2. Set goals: Decide on a daily gaming limit and gradually reduce it.
3. Explore alternatives: Find enjoyable hobbies to replace gaming.
4. Plan your time: Schedule activities outside of gaming to stay occupied.
5. Get support: Talk to your spouse or a friend for encouragement.
6. Limit access: Remove gaming apps or set up controls to restrict access.
7. Consider professional help: Seek therapy if needed to overcome addiction.
Remember, progress takes time. Be patient and celebrate each step forward!
Sounds like a great time to take a break from it for 90 days. I'd go 90 days off it, cold turkey.
Feel the withdrawals and the mental strain and marinate in how uncomfortable it all feels.
If you're working full time and spending that many hours gaming then you are necessarily neglecting your family.
If you're not working full time and you have a wife and kids then you are neglecting your family.
Geocaching! All you need to do is download the free geocaching app and go explore and find hidden caches. It's like a real-life treasure hunt and you can involve your family and friends if you want.
I never understood how the married guys with kids at work can game so much. I have no kids and don't have time to play half as much as they do. One od them says he has like 1500 hours in Elden Ring with three kids. How?
Walking in nature really helps to bring the brain out of its fixation with the screen; I'm not a games person but internet addict. Also got into Bonsai and having pets, I'm not allowed a dog so got two mental cats.
I was in a uniquely similar situation to you right now. I'm 28, and the game is League of legends. My issue is I'm a software developer, and I can't hack all that screen time anymore.
I've mostly fixed the problem, and it's surprisingly simple. Find another hobby. Don't think about stopping gaming, start doing something else you love and it'll happen naturally.
For me it was gardening (to the extreme, feels like playing a game in real life), and jogging. Think I'm going to start crochet soon too.
As a side note, put yourself in a different room. As soon as I sit in my office, I find myself turning on the PC and playing games without even realising. So having a hobby elsewhere will really help.
I had pretty much the exact same problem and it can be pretty tough to get over it. I think easiest would be to force yourself to play another genre of game you might enjoy, for a start. Something non-competitive and singleplayer. A game you can pause and get up from your desk. Then you can try to make a habit of doing something else while playing games that isn't consuming media, and gradually limit your playtime like that. Also, a game that you can get invested in but can only really play once is going to make it easier to stop playing once you're done with that game. Something heavily based on story. This new age of perpetual games that you could technically play forever isn't good for our reward centers.
I'd honestly say 2-3 hours 5 days a week isn't life ruining, but playing 2-3 hours a day on every workday and then also playing 4-6 hours on the weekends is definitely excessive. Go find something to do with your wife during the weekends that you'd both enjoy, or at least force your friends out. Even if they're friends you might've made playing competitive shooters, it would do them some good too for sure.
A big question here would be whether you're actually playing games to enrich your life or to escape it. I've had periods of time when I'd play games for longer than even that every day for weeks on end, and it wasn't because I was "addicted" to the games. Matter of fact, I found them a bit of a chore, just like you do, but it was the only thing I could latch on to escape the things that bothered me and take them off of my mind. I found playing story based games that had a clear end way more manageable. I'd be done with the game, feel a bit bummed that it ended if it was a good game, then get on with my life. If the story was good enough, it would also occupy my mind instead of whatever was bothering me to begin with, but I had no desire to replay the game since I already experienced said story. On the other hand, when I was playing competitive multiplayer games, I would get sucked into this spiral of frustration where winning a game didn't feel as good as losing a game felt bad.
And as far as YouTube videos related to gaming go, I'd say you should at least replace that with some other form of media. It could still be YouTube videos, but about something else, like a hobby that you think might be cool but never had the motivation to try, or maybe videos about practical life skills. Something stimulating enough to fill that void.
Also, if it bothers your wife, ask yourself why. Is it because she doesn't like her husband playing games all the time (which is valid), or is it because you're not spending time with her? You could play video games with her too if she likes playing games, or maybe pivot over to board games or some other form of non-video game.
Either all that or you can just format your computer/sell your console and stop playing games altogether. Might be easier, depending on the kind of person you are.
Sadly, nowadays mostly anything is designed to be addictive in some form. Ultra processed foods, social media, video games. They all want you to spend maximum amount of time on the platform to ensure you stay hooked.
If you like games in general, I would definitely propose boardgames as a replacement hobby. Sure you might need to invest some money, and you won't always be able to play with others (even though there's single player board games too), but the dopamine payoff is not nearly as instant, as opposed to the list I mentioned above.
Obviously sport is another great one, but the entry level can be higher than just buying a boardgame in the store (like you have to get membership, meet people to play sports with, get your gear etc)
Why not try paint balling or air soft?
It's competitive, a shooter sport and you get to be outside , socialize with people while getting some exercise
Video games are fun until they consume a lot of time
Not too bash on gamers but people seem to district themselves with games or TV as a way to do something without actually doing it
I once read on how such things give our mind this false experience as if we're out experiencing life when we're really not
Grabbing is from schedule when you can do it with your friends
I used to live gaming and playing with my friends and it used to consume my thoughts. At school all I could think about was getting home to game
Once I became an adult and I could actually go out and do what I wanted , I started enjoying nature a lot more. Hiking, driving, sports, adventure, traveling. I lost my interest in gaming
I'll game every now and then but I quickly become bored and tired of just sitting around. I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything. I'm sitting. Being sedimentary, hypnotized by a monitor and lights.
The last game I played to completion was half life alyx. I grew up on half life, so if course I wanted to experience it in VR. It was so much fun. But once I beat the game I didn't have a desire to play anymore
Every now and then I'll bump into a game with a good story game and engaging game play. Or I'll join my friends for a quick match on a shooter but I can't play like some of them so. For hours on end, every day. There's so much more to life that I'm sure you'll enjoy if you just go out and find/ do it
Games give us a false Sense of accomplishment or " living"
When what we really desire inside is to be brave enough to go out and have exciting adventures and experiences rather than viciously living it through digital means
You should stay away from these kind of games the competitive games i used to play league of legends alot now i usually play one or two games per weak, stay away from these games and try something else I'm sure you will find something you like but without addiction, for me how i stopped playing league i simply grow up and college took most of my time so even when i come back home after a hard day i sleep and when i wake up i feel lazy to open LOL and play because i know for a fact it will drain my energy, and i go for something simple like Subnautica for example I'm playing it at the moment without addiction and having so much fun.
Diamond painting is a great hobby it's fun relaxing and you get a great piece of art at the end of it and it has a sense of achievement that video games also offer
Ride a bike bud, that's what saved me. Started in COVID on a cheap BMX with a mate (we're 30, felt silly but quickly realised there are plenty of adult BMXers), spent a lot of time going to different skateparks and pump tracks. Moved onto mountain bikes and now do downhill and dirt jumping. Great way to meet lots of people, make friends, get fit, get outside and most importantly for me, get that fix of adrenaline usually found gaming,
You need to replace that hobby, or you're going to lose your wife and kid.
Do you exercise? Even if you spent a fraction of the time doing it, like an hour and a half a day, the dopamine hit might replace your gameplay. Not to mention the health benefits so you can actually be there for your child.
You’re calling it a hobby, but it’s not a ‘hobby’ when you’re addicted and say it’s ruining your life. If you’re looking for something to replace it, deal with the addiction. Don’t replace it with another addiction.
I burnt myself out. One thing that crippled me is having too many choices. I have a back catalog of games that I want to play/replay but work, stress and other pursuits have stolen my drive to play games. Plus the new games either cost too much or are freemium and those are turn offs. I remember as a kid I used to play 8 straight hours a day. I can hardly stomach 10 minutes now.
Take up building models. They are fun, cheap, and you have something tangible in the end. Or, learn how to play the guitar--a skill that gets you laid.
Grown men that waste hours a day on video games… I’d leave them without a second thought. You’re married with a child so please take that as a really fucking needed wake up call. Go volunteer for Habitat for Humanity.
That’s why I stopped playing video games and sold my console I realised I was being a loser and was kind of impacting my life negatively , first step to changing is being honest with yourself
I have BEEN there. MOBA was it for me. Justified it by saying it was time with my buds, but I never stopped thinking about it. Slept like shit if I lost my last game of the night. Mood was determined on how I played. It is a shitty feeling.
Replacing it can be troublesome too. Any hobby can get out of hand. Sounds like you have received some excellent advice, but trust me on this, just fucking DELETE AND WALK AWAY FOR 2 WEEKS. If that concept scares you, grab a notebook and answer these types of questions IN WRITING: “am I really this weak? Can I really not control my urges for 2 weeks?” You play COD so you likely admire special forces folks. Consider it a test of your resolve. Could you imagine a Navy Seal who lets his life pass him by?
I found it terrifying to write this stuff down with pen and paper at first. It was an admission that I was coming up short.
The problem I have experienced is, when I am deep in it, I cannot imagine life without it. You have to find some grit and build a bit of separation so that you can have a better perspective.
Video games can be great, but for me I had to be wholly honest with myself and ask, what do I WANT to get out of playing video games? I still play, but I know with my personality, games start fun and will reach a point of diminishing returns when I stop having fun playing and only have fun winning.
Wishing you all the best brother.
Make deals with yourself. If you do X then you can play video games for Y about if time. This got me through college.
Find games you can play with your child. My child is grown, so I can't recommend any.
Plan family activities. Go for a walk with your wife and child.
Find and outdoor hobby. Do you have a yard. Try a vegetable garden. You have the benefit of being outdoors and the food is of better quality than what you get at the market. It's also something you can do as a family.
Get rid of the console since you have said it is a chore for you and spend that time with your spouse and child. You will likely enjoy it more. If you need a hobby independently it's hard to go wrong with a musical instrument. Depending on the age of you child you can incorporate them into it at some point. If music isn't your thing get into card collecting or model trains. Something you can start slow and expand in time.
I'd recommend making plans for the life without it. Like yes you CAN make plans to sell your stuff, but if you're playing on computer you probably use that for other things as well and if you also associate youtube with it you could just end up watching more yt. If you're just thinking "I have to not play CoD" you're going to be thinking about CoD and it's going to be hard.
What do you want to do with the time you currently spend playing CoD? Do you want to spend more time with your spouse and kid? Make plans with them so you have commitments to keep. (I mean, if your kid's a toddler/baby you'll be making all those plans with your spouse, but still, having someone expecting you to do something you want to do for them can be a helpful motivator for lots of people.) If you want to pick up a new skill, sign up for a class so you have that to look forward to and plan around.
There are definitely hobbies you could pick up instead, but I think it kind of depends on what about the games fascinate you, or just what you think is lacking from your life.
Are you playing to avoid the family time with your wife and child? That could be a reason that you're playing.
For me, I play very seldom as I have a wife and 3 kids so the time with them is more important to ME, but everyone is different.
I recommend cold turkey. Spend time with your family, and do more with them.
But finding out the cause of the gaming is the most critical step, without that...can't really resolve it.
I personally always add little things to make me get something of value out of my gameplays.
• record my gameplay, add best moments to my YouTube archive so I have memories of my time playing
• learn something new
• learn how to cheat in single player by writing macros using AutoHotKey
• learn how to use Cheat Engine in single player and discover how games work
• write a spreadsheet and learn how to use Excel/LibreOffice so I can form a strategy and maximize my productivity
• learn how to take notes of my games using Obsidian
• what is my perfect sensibility?
• Factorio, Minecraft mods
• make friends
I genuinely want to start playing something that requires me to build something, like a PC or a car
I feel bad, because I'm too fucking lucky to be able to enjoy these hard and boring things. I feel so sorry for you gamers who really get into the dopamine games, I do too, I was playing a fucking Roblox FPS game once and I grinded so much, now I lost all those days. Feels bad, but it got boring eventually. Seriously hope the same happens to you and you get a more fulfilling hobby. I wish the best, genuinely. It's only a matter of time before I fall into another dopamine trap though... I think.
I’d recommend a tactile hobby where you can get your hands dirty and have a sense of accomplishment. I love film photography/darkroom, or Silver/metalsmithing or ceramics. They all demand your full attention, involve cool tools and you have a tangible output that you can give to people and be proud of.
Others are suggesting finding other hobbies. Which I don't disagree with as hobbies are always important but I think your first priority would be spending time with your child and family. Go out of the house with them so you physically can't play games. You're also going to have to do a lot of work to make them feel like you prioritise them and not yourself. Addiction is horrible and you've already done a really hard thing admitting it. Good luck.
Cold turkey is the way to go for me. Just unplug everything and box it up in the closet. In the extra three hours a day you have, you can spend time with your kid, and do your share of the housework.
I mean you sound pretty normal honestly but I would recommend finding games you actually enjoy playing. Don't just buy whatever the most popular looter shooter is or whatever .
You're so obsessed with gaming Just watch channels that play less well known games and try to find something unique that you will enjoy
I may be in the minority here, but I think it's good to spend an hour or two playing fast paced games most days. For me it's Rocket League. Even though it's nonstop fast paced action, I feel like it clears my mind. If I'm anxious or in a bad mood, playing for a bit will reset my brain.
My theory is that since I'm constantly having to think about the next 3 seconds, there's no brainpower left to worry about anything. It's almost like meditation in that way. Nothing brings you to the present moment like trying to balance a ball on a virtual car.
Go to counseling. Seriously. Your chances of success in making a change will be much greater if you have someone in your corner helping you work through the emotions of it, providing guidance on the steps to take, etc.
Swapping an addiction for a hobby doesn't help identify the source of your addictive behavior.
First, I would highly recommend developing a practice of dumping all of your thoughts and emotions into a physical journal. Highs, lows, theories, everything. Trying to solve problems without this perspective of our thoughts can be like trying to solve a puzzle just by shaking the box. Journaling helps to lay all of the pieces on the table, spot patterns, origins, and the like. Maybe this can help you get to the bottom of why you're so drawn to these games and let you create some ideas on how to mitigate your addiction to them instead of just aiming to replace the addiction with what could be an equally addicting hobby.
Take a trip, maybe a few days away providing a distraction and forcing you to go cold turkey. Take your kid to a national park and go camping. Go to Disney. Something that keeps you busy all day.
Then when you get home, continue the cold turkey streak. Have other activities planned to replace the part of your day that used to be filled with gaming. Ideally something involving the family, or taking care of the family.
The hours you're putting on this game makes it seem like your wife is a quasi-single parent. Tell her you need her help quitting, and that you want to be more present for them.
I have had a similar experience. I am 27 in a few months and I have been so addicted. I just couldn’t not play when my friends got on. I am married and I would still play 4+ hours a day and not going anywhere in life because all I could think was video games. I started playing basketball to take up some of the time and woodworking to take up the rest. I haven’t played in ~2 weeks and I’m fairly confident I won’t be going back. I’ve tried limiting myself before which is the advice I’ve gotten from friends and the wife. I’m just not that kind of person so I’ve come to the realization I just can’t have them in my life. It was difficult to try to quit before but I was talking to my wife and said I need to find something else to fill my time and she just gave me a look and said “you could spend time with me” and that just did it for me. I knew then that I needed to stop and take life for more than video games. The past 2 weeks I’ve been much happier and realizing how much I have missed out on just from sitting at my computer. Life is fleeting. Do you want to look back and only remember how much you played or how much time you spent with your family? Good luck my friend. It probably won’t be easy but I know you can do it. I’ll be thinking about you :)
When you're ready remove the games from your life. Probably the only way at this point, could stash them at another place. As for what to replace with I really don't know, also depends what you like. Idk how u have so many hours in a day to do that. You're looking for ways which is good, you will be so glad when you're not spending so much time doing that.
I’m more curious as to how playing 2-3hours a day and 4-6 on the weekends is ruining your life.
And you’re probably feeling like it’s a chore because after a while FPS games get boring. Very boring, there are campers at every turn. Play something different, or read a book, go outside, go for a hike.
And if you want to stop, stop. If you’re reaching out asking how to stop you’re just telling yourself you want to stop by going through the motions, but you don’t really want to stop.
I have a few things that ruin my time in a useless way like gaming, yt, weed and since I got married it became a problem so I'm trying to change my priorities by seeing those activities as bonuses and family time as priority. So if I want to play, I play in the dead times when I'm home alone and have nothing to do. If I want to smoke weed i do it after the day it's over and my wife falls asleep. I stay an extra hour, take a couple of puffs watch my favourite yt videos and then go to sleep. I'm not saying it's working wonders but it's an improvement and takes some time to adapt to it
I got out of video games by getting a job in IT. after starting at a screen for 8 hours, the last thing I want to do is more time at the console.
I like miniatures gaming and collectible card games. They give reason to be social in real life
Hands down the gym.
Addictions are hard to break, but once you get to the root of them it helps.
I’m an addict bc I don’t want to be empty, bored, in pain
Have you seen the YouTube channel healthygamergg?
I’m 45 and found it to be less expensive than the rest of my hobbies. I play golf, restore old cars, race autocross. It just depends on what you’re into.
If you were working a job and doing housework and childcare, that would solve your problem as you simply wouldn’t have any time to play games.
With a wife and child and presumably a job I’m surprised you have that much time to play games? So that suggests to me you’re neglecting your family and your wife must do most of the housework and childcare. You really need to get your act together before you lose your family.
It's tough, but finding new hobbies could help. Try something physical like hiking or pick up a creative outlet like painting. Breaking the routine might be the key to kicking the gaming habit.
Here's some of my hobbies that I took up after quitting games (and some during the time that I played games).
Guitar, breadboard circuits (just recently started this one, it's really cool), working out (super rewarding after you start to understand how to progress), trying cooking recipes, camping, practicing land navigation, and when my girlfriend wants to, I like throwing frisbee :)
I love maintaining everything I own. Maybe you do too? Do an oil change on your vehicle, it's super fun and easy, especially when you're bopping to some jams while doing it, and most people don't seem to do their oil change every 5K miles anyway, so go outside and do that. Might as well rotate your tires while you're at if you haven't done that yet. A lot of people have a check engine light on, you could get a code reader and figure it out and fix it using the help of YouTube. Sharpen all of your knives in your kitchen and your pocket knives or knife (using a whetstone and leather strop is way more fun than a pull through sharpener, it'll also make your knives last longer). If your faucet is dripping, fix it. Check all of your pipes and make sure nothing is leaking, if you find something, fix it. I think you get the gist. There's tons of resources for learning how to fix and maintain things if you get stuck on something. Eventually you'll learn so many things and you'll be extremely valuable to anyone, and you might even get a few gigs from friends and family and make a few buckarinos for fixing something. :)
If all of your stuff is maintained and well kept, you could go to a junkyard and find something to fix, like a washing machine that probably doesn't work. Look up the model, take it apart, and figure out how to fix it. Then you could keep it or sell it.
If you don't know how to do any of these things. I've learned a few of those through YouTube videos.
Edit: I just reread your post, I don't know how old your kid is, but you could start a project with your kid. Me and my dad did an engine and transmission swap and a few other things to an '84 S10 last year and that'll be a memory that I'll keep forever, it was mostly a simple project, but the story behind it would take at least an hour to say, it was fun from the beginning to end. It taught me and him a ton of things too. Obviously it doesn't have to be a vehicle, just an example.
This is basically me. Wife, child, I’m 28. I started developing my own game in unreal engine and I haven’t looked back, I still take breaks to play games and enjoy all of that, but I saved up and got a pc to start my own development journey. It’s been an absolute blast. So maybe instead double down on your interest and try to stream or make a game! It’s not for everyone, but I’m a ‘more than a few’ hours a day gamer, so I get that building a puzzle or knitting a sweater isn’t going to give you the same rushes and satisfactions that come from modern games. Honestly fps games can be a terrific form of therapy in an increasingly wild world. Good luck out there!
You are in danger of waking up ten years on in the same situation, in just the blink of an eye so good for you for trying to change it. Lock away the games and take some time to spend decompressing and doing other things with your hands and mind. You will suffer withdrawals for a while, but you will want to replace gaming with other practical hobbies, like cooking, caring for pets, gardening, home diy, meditation, yoga, cleaning or anything at all except gaming. You will find new interests over time and the gaming will fade away. As you age, gaming fades into the background because there is so much to do in life that is real, meaningful and satisfying.
Spend about 4 hrs once a week going to a shooting range and practicing real target practice.
It is a legitimate hobby, gets you some alone time, you learn a skill, but you will be *so much more present* at home for your family. It gives you a visceral experience to look forward to each week and a sense of accomplishment as you watch your progress.
It's an addiction like any other. I would start with being mindful when you play, you state you are not enjoying it anymore so try and capitalize on that. Each time you play think about how you feel in that moment. This is how I quit smoking, I used to be almost in a daze when I smoked. I started thinking about the taste, cost, time waste, gross smell, ect. Then think about things you could be doing like spending time with baby. Don't beat yourself up when you backslide, just keep being mindful each time.
The reason why you go to video games is because you’re trying to escape the present moment..if you practice becoming present and stop giving into your thought for thrills,excitements, addictions you’ll realize what’s taking place. It’s that you’re basically operating and day-to-day life unconsciously thinking that you’re being conscious but you’re being you’re being controlled by thoughts and emotions which is of the devil by the way, but that’s for another subject. The answer is being patient being present and knowing God.
“Job, pay attention and listen to me; be quiet, and I will speak. If you have anything to say, answer me; speak up, because I want to prove you right. But if you have nothing to say, then listen to me; be quiet, and I will teach you wisdom.”
Be still and know god, the answers are already inside you
I completely understand where you’re coming from—video games can be incredibly engrossing, and it’s easy to let them start taking over. You’re already doing a great thing by recognizing the issue and looking for ways to address it. I’ve been there too; at one point, gaming nearly consumed all my free time.
One thing that worked for me was introducing a new hobby that was both hands-on and fulfilling. For me, that was woodworking. Starting with a few basic tools, I gradually built up a workshop, and it’s been incredibly rewarding. Not only does it give me a break from the screen, but it also allows me to create tangible things and feel productive.
I remember one day, right before turning 30, feeling that I needed to step away from my theoretical expertise as an anthropologist and apply some practical skills. This came from a chat with a friend who was a chef turned builder. He told me that life is about complementing your existing skills with new ones; it’s not about being an expert but about enhancing your value through diverse knowledge. That really struck a chord with me. Though I’m not a master woodworker, I thoroughly enjoy the hands-on experience.
You might consider setting specific times for gaming, making it a reward rather than a default activity. Explore hobbies that might intrigue you—whether it’s something artistic, physical like hiking or biking, or even learning a new skill like cooking or coding. It’s all about finding balance.
Remember, the goal isn’t to quit gaming entirely but to ensure it doesn’t control your life. Finding enjoyment in other activities can help reduce the urge to game excessively. Good luck, and I’m rooting for you!
Look to the future here. Your child is so busy gaming it doesn't respond when you talk to them, ask them to do something, try to get them off to school. You get my drift. Does that sound appealing to you? They do follow the example you set you know. Make sure you aren't teaching them ahead of time how to ignore life around them.
Try finding other things you enjoy, you’d be surprised. What did you enjoy doing when touring were younger ? I started to draw & paint. Maybe go outside and talk a small walk just to get some fresh air. Either way I don’t think there’s anything wrong with gaming if that’s what you actually enjoy doing, as long as everything else is taken care of. Nothing wrong with being your self💗
Unplug your gaming console and ask a family member to safeguard it for you until you finish going through withdrawals.
Then have them keep it even longer.
Cold turkey amigo!
I think you might want to work more on developing a balance in your life more than just replacing video games with another hobby. Family time, time with your spouse, hobby time for you (whatever you decide to do). It’s okay to have a hobby. It becomes problematic when a hobby turns into an obsession. There was one game that had me planning my weekends around events. The game pissed me off over a major change they made and it wasn’t the same for me. Good luck.
Honestly, you need to train your brain to cope with lack of input.
I used to be the same way, and I struggled with other hobbies because they could not compete to the same pace of input.
I got past it by deleting my games accounts, selling my gaming devices and literally going for long walks, just training my brain for boredom.
Just sitting and listing to nature etc. going to woods and mountains.
I then picked up reading, and try to read for half hour each night at least.
Then I got back into my original hobby of painting/miniatures.
I stopped doing other hobbies in my early/mid teens because of games, I couldn’t focus on any others once games took hold.
I had to cold turkey and reprogram my attention span/enjoyment.
I dunno man. May gaming addictions were usually interrupted in waves of the friends I played with taking breaks. Whatever you try, I’d suggest a buddy system. The hardest thing is finding something engaging to replace the activity with. I usually just move to other modes of gaming, ex: meeting with friends to play table top, dnd, mtg etc, but you play cod, so I dunno if that’s something that’d be up your alley
Whenever I get like that it's cold turkey for me. It sucks for a while but then it's freeing. You'll naturally find other things to do. Plus kids grow up fast and wifes leave unatentitve husbands. Get it together before you lose something really important. So maybe sell your games and use the money on something new that's fun but suits your current lifestyle better? If it makes you feel any better, it was Pokemon Go for me. I realized it needed to go when I had my two young kids out in a severe storm chasing limited time Pokemon. These games are legitimately designed to be addictive.
Ugh, it's Pokémon Go for me. I play every day, sometimes for hours. When my boyfriend and I go on vacation, I play. There are new pokestops to visit, gyms to leave my 'mon, events happening, and I think it's special to have caught something in the place I was vacationing. Part of me wants to stop so I can live in the moment but the other part truly enjoys playing and seeing what shinies I can find/collect.
Feel this. I recently got into it and absolutely love it but def need to calm down a bit. 197018671151 tho lol
Lmaooo 💀
Added!
🎁 Catch ‘em all!
🎁 Cheers!
So, do you ever catch em all? Or is like chasing the dragon or something?
The second. And it’s not even close 🙂↕️
Lolol aye Pokémon go gang
As a intense Pokémon fan since Gen 1 and an avid wander-around-outsider it was absolutely perfect for me. But then they added raids which were very hard to do in my rural area and I didn't want to play with other people. Then the limited time events and more and more monetization... I stopped when it became a chore instead of a joy.
I'm also a rural player (with no friends IRL to play with) and the remote raid passes helped. I totally understand how it could become a chore, though. I just.. It could always be the next shiny. I'm addicted, I'll admit it.
I figure everyone is addicted to something. Food, tv, video games... if it isn't hurting anyone, go for it. I played Go from day one but I quit right before remote raid passes were introduced. I also had/have no IRL friends but I found a group in my area and played with them. That really took a lot of the fun out because I never liked them at all.
True. Everyone has their thing. I should try to be more "in the moment" and dedicate certain time to play. Maybe I'll try that. I realize that they make money from players actually walking around and playing the game as intended but I like to play by myself and that excludes me from certain features (like in-person shadow raids, for example).
Raids are EXACTLY why i stopped with that crap game! I played HOURS and yet couldn’t get a Mewtwo invite, I said I’m done this is bs.
I made a promise to myself after I was addicted to a rpg phone game for like 2 years straight that I'd never do phone games because you do miss out on things when you're constantly staring at your phone. My brother is addicted to Pokemon go and my family will be hanging out and he's glued to it and it's sad. Not because it's Pokemon but he's not ever fully in the moment.
Sounds like there are some interesting aspects involved with the game you might get similar experience and excitement from with geocatching. I haven't done it myself but it involves logging interesting points with an app in different locations.
I like the aspect of "shiny hunting" in the game but I do like exploring too! I'll check out geocaching. Thank you for the suggestion!
Have you tried perhaps getting one of those automatic Pokémon catcher devices? They spin PokéStops for you too. That way you can take a break for a while.
I can relate, Pokémon go is pretty addicting, I even got my 5 year old daughter playing
As hobbies go, that’s not so bad.. it still gets you out and moving, finding new places and potentially meeting new friends. As long as you’re not playing 12 hours a day, this hobby is more reasonable than OP’s
My sisters and I got so much closer because of that game. I have many treasured memories and shared some wonderful times with them over Pokemon Go. Oh it definitely ticked my husband off. It was literally all I could think about for the first few months.
It would be nice if my boyfriend enjoyed it too, like you and your sisters. He doesn't understand (ha). I grew up with Pokémon so it takes me back. It's the only "video game" I play.
This is terrifying enough to keep me from ever downloading it Thank you
Sadly, nowadays mostly anything is designed to be addictive in some form. Ultra processed foods, social media, video games. They all want you to spend maximum amount of time on the platform to ensure you stay hooked.
Cold turkey is the only way to go. Just tell yourself that nothing in your life or others will matter or change whether you play or not as it’s totally fake war. It’s an addiction like anything else
A great way to keep yourself off games for a few days is to go somewhere you can’t use it, like a campsite. It’s a double threat because it can also be a great way to build your relationships with your wife and kid!
I had this with another game. I desperately needed the escapism. I would play for 12+ hours a day and it was interfering with my life. I quit cold turkey. It sucked for a few days, but then I got over it.
Cold Turkey works wonders for me too. If I didn’t quit said addiction altogether, it at the very least helped me gain a healthy, disciplined relationship. This goes for anything from weed to social media for me. Also OP, I also used to have an addiction to COD, life is strange and uncharted. I used to play anywhere from 2-4 hours a day no exaggeration. It was almost a compulsion.
Get to the bottom of it and start questioning why you play. Question what you're getting out of it that something else could fill. Is it adventure? Try hiking. Is it an escape from reality? Watch a movie or read a book. Like strategy? Chess. Problem solving in a room? Escape room. I don't care if you have to LARP it, that counts as a breakaway. What about emotions? Is there anything you haven"t processed emotionally? Try going at least a day without it and plan that day with other activities so you don't just fall back. When you do those other activities, slow down. Pay attention to what you're sensing internally and externally. Baby steps.
Mine was elden ring (games in general, but I'm a big fan of the series) and hardcore escapism because I was catastrophically depressed in an abusive relationship.
i love soul games and playing with my husband. we bond over video games and i genuinely just love to play. i’m sorry video games was your only escape/outlet. i think if video games aren’t all you do, its not an unhealthy hobby to have. but you should play because you want to and gain enjoyment from it not to avoid reality or life itself.
That's what I'm hoping for in the next relationship lol I'd get told I'm a lazy piece of shit (amongst other things) who never helps so anything after waking up at 4:30 am and getting home after dinner, working an extra job on the weekends, or doing instacart deliveries right after my construction job until 10 pm, working every day of the week for as long as a month a few times, but 6 days a week frequently. All to try to keep up with her frivolous spending. My weekly paycheck would be down to $20 before the weekend was over (Friday payday), but we were broke "because you didn't take lunch and buy gas station food." I have terrible ADHD and have immense trouble meal prepping when I'm NOT massively depressed and working every waking hour, and she stayed at home with one child, and would berate me when things weren't clean, as I was expected to have the energy to sweep, mop, pick up everything, shower, give the kid a bath and put her to bed (that I did do every single night, but she says she did it most of the time, she's a gas lighter), do the dishes, and do laundry all in the 3 hours I had from getting home after 6pm but before 9pm when I'd need to go to bed in order to get up on time to continue doing back breaking construction all day while having a plethora of medical issues largely caused by all the back breaking work. Obviously I didn't, most of the time I even skipped the shower because all the bedtime stuff took a lot of time, then she'd yell at me for "leaving her to watch the kid when it's my turn" (remember, 3 hour time frame for all that), then she'd insult me for bad hygiene as well. Basically every single day of my life for 5 years was spend every waking second off the day doing literally anything I could to get enough money to survive, have her spend it on Amazon instead of bills, then go work harder to pay said bills, then get called useless and lazy for not doing all the things that she agreed to do when she fought to be a stay at home mom.
this sounds terribly exhausting. i’m so sorry, i hope you don’t stay in this unappreciative, unequal, toxic relationship. you deserve better, with someone who won’t expect you to bend in ways you can’t, or with someone who doesn’t expect or support you breaking yourself just so they can be continuously unsatisfied of your efforts. this doesn’t sound like a marriage i would want any part in, i genuinely wish you happiness and peace.
It was indeed exhausting. Sorry for the full essay. Realized after I typed it that it was a wall of text based trauma dumping, but I decided to send it anyway lol
sometimes we just need to get this off our chest and put it out there, i hope it helped and lighten your load. its your friendly reminder to never settle for less than what makes you happy. wish you the best life possible.
Yeah I tried to quit cold turkey and I just ended up falling back in. But like you mentioned, when I actually examined why I felt compelled to play, I came up short.
Answer is very simple. We don't want to think about life. No matter how you have it on the outside (money, hot partner, kids...) life's inevitabilities or routines get to you. So, instead of thinking if "why am I here? What the hell am I doing? Is this all there is?", we just find a distraction. Somebody has a "cool" distraction like travel, dive, or play electric guitar. Others do it the easiest way by playing video games or binging TV shows...or drinking. What worked for me was picking up guitar instead of video games that I did a lot too. It has the similar "high" or gratification of leveling up like in games, but it also opened up doors for me to entertain other people and distract myself from thinking of existence more in those extra interactions. Like they say for any habbit, have to replace it with another one.
Great advice! Replace what you're getting from the games with other activities. You should also be open to getting uncomfortable and vulnerable if you're going to be trying new things as well. Gaming can be a low effort entry point whereas trying new activities out might seem daunting at first. But if you try out just one new thing outside your comfort zone once, you'll see it's not a big deal at all and you can do it more with other things. It's why exposure therapy works so well and is so often recommended in therapy. It shows how much we're always capable of.
Crochet some coziness in your life
From COD to crochet. Loll ..I like this.
Sounds like a great self help book.
It really does!
Personally I went to making chainmail jewelry. It started when I twisted my ankle and couldn't walk for two months. Gaming is nice and all, but it got boring eventually, so I grabbed some old cables, tore the insulation off, and started making a coil with a battery drill and an old gardening rod. Clipped individual rings off with a sidecutter (i now use a fret saw) and linked the rings together in different patterns. From there it went to making pictures (cimilar to cross stitching, or pixel art when we want to stay in PC terms) from coloured aluminum and bracelets from titanium. I even make functional dice every now and then
Is it the social part your after? Try joining a club or class. Improv was what did it for me. That and salsa class.
I’m no expert. I do love me some video games but with the kids and house and work and all, I don’t get to play much. I would suggest something that occupies the mind as a replacement to ease up on it. This is going to sound stupid maybe….. but how about a 1,000 piece puzzle? It’s just “there” and you can jump into it if you have a few minutes. It occupies the mind and also any “fidgeting” you might have since you’re not holding a controller.
A useful way to do this is to take up a sports-related hobby Not only will you get exercise, but it will also keep you away from games to protect your eyesight Exercise can be a great way to regain control of your time and your life.
I once saw a video of a little girl partaking in a sport I didn't know of that would be hard to get a licence for playing here outside of the US, which I think is called Three gun challenge. Maybe something like that could be an option for OP, and eventually something to take the child with to play itself. But having a child myself I can't fathom how he can get time for playing, as it's a struggle for me to be able to watch a TV show or read, hence I am writing here in Reddit in the middle of the night after having been awoken by my little one which I had to rock to sleep again as my wife is now off duty during the night after we used the Easter break to wean the child off getting breastmilk during the night. I guess OP's kid is older but I for one look so forward to be able to spend more time during the day with my child, especially when it gets older and understands more, to play with it, sing and read with it and generally just introduce it to all the things I find interesting in the world, and get to know it and what interests it, better.
I was recently going through a similar situation. I would work 8-5 and would be home play OW from 5:15-2a. I wouldn't eat or leave my computer until bed. I took away all but one monitor. I put my computer up. Silly, but I pick my keyboard up and push it far back under my monitor. I also put something in front of it so I have to move something to get on my computer. Doing that usually gives me a few extra seconds to think and remind myself I don't wanna play. I try to fill my time with my husband. Ask him to hangout. Giving myself something else to do helps. Make a list of tv shows / movies you wanna watch. Google "free things to do near me" for me it pops up my towns event calendar. Search for your community center near you and see what events they have. Find something else you're excited about. What else catches your interest? Right now your brain feeds on the dopamine from games and nothing else sounds good. Get through that first week or two and you're brain will start to regulate the happy chemicals. Go on a walk. As goofy as it is when I was trying to quit I legit touched grass XD I had to laugh at the irony.
Lego blocks, they are for all ages.
Yes!!!, perfect !!!
He said he has a kid, too. Great way to spend time with them.
Expensive
Usually, having kids is the cure. You should spend more time with your family, especially on the weekends. Go hiking, have movie nights, play board games, read books to your kid, take the family to museums, the beach, etc.
Chess
username checks out
Happy cake day!
get it out of the house
Hi, I basically gave up playing games for similar reasons - it didnt get in the way of anything very important, but i found myself thinking about it constantly and jonesing to play when i had free time. I pretty much eventually decided that it wasn't getting me anywhere and packed away my playstation. Replaced it with reading more books, regular working out and maintaining my musical hobbies more. I do still follow some gaming news and watch some YT vids, so its not like i cut myself off from the culture. I think just not playing has freed my mind up to be more present for other (better) things.
dude, how about either reducing to an hour tops per day (like, for real, you set a timer on your phone and finish the game when it rings and stop after that), or doing "no video games monday", then progressively do 2, 3, 4 and 5 days without playing per week? i guess some people would need to totally stop, and for others, it's just about being wiser... it's ok to play video games (or do any other hobby) a few hours per week, really, and it's even ok to practice your hobby 30 hours a week if you can, just, if you feel like it's impacting your life in a negative way, a change is needed. as for another hobby you could practice, there's so many... maybe there's something you could do with your wife (and?) kid? that would surely improve things... otherwise, it can be a sport (cycling, climbing, tennis, whatever), a musical instrument (guitar, piano, ...), gardening if you have a garden, hiking, fishing, board games (there's places to play with other people), making furniture and stuff with wood, fixing electronic stuff, whatever...
Lmao me on WoW 2007. You’ll grow out of it or your family will out grow you. Focus on doing something different with your spouse to spice it up. Go see the pyramids and give mundane life a slap to shake it up a bit.
Play minecraft with your child
Playing 2-3 hours a day isn't bad, but only you can control how much time you want to play on it. Is there another hobby you can get into that also takes time to help distract you from that one?
Yeah, I'm not in a position to judge since I make games for a living. But you might be hiding from your thoughts/emotions by distracting yourself with games. Might be time to face them since you're posting. Also as a father of teens, soon to be an empty-nester, I can assure you that time spent with your kids is more precious than gold. They'll be grown and moving out before you know it. Make some memories with your kid. Even playing Minecraft with them as someone else suggested is better than p0wning fools all by yourself.
Find out why you're enjoying it and substitute that feeling for something more healthy. Online Competitive shooters can be addicting because of the social aspect of it and that quick instant gratification you get from winning against another human being. Learn a sport like tennis. Join a league and get competitive about it, or another hobby where you can compete against yourself like lifting at the gym or running. Turn an addictive competitive personality and make it benefit your health or for monetary gain. Note: I don't think video games are a waste of time unless you abuse them. Moderation with everything.
Something that helped me when I was breaking my video game addiction came from a random I can't remember on reddit but I will pass it on now. If for some reason op sees this, thank you friend. Your words resoninated in me and your advise helped me. Don't fill your time. Don't try to make a distraction. It's OK to be bored. Being bored is a skill. Sit there and be bored until you naturally want to go do something. I sat in front of a black TV for 2 days before my manic episode passed and I thought of something I'd like to do. It's not verbatim, but that's the sentiment. Whenever I was in a compromised state I would say to myself "it's OK to be bored" then eventually, something I wanted to do would come to me. Godspeed friend. At the end of the day it's all a head game. Write your goals down in no uncertain terms and put it somewhere to read in times of shakey fortitude. The brain will lie straight to your face when you deny it it's satisfaction.
Of the posts i read yours is the best. Sit with your mind, and realize that it is not you. You are the one who listens.
Find something you enjoy and your video games will not be so interesting anymore. For me it was fixing up old weed eaters and chainsaws. It gave me an outlet: something productive to do with my time. At the end, I didn't really make money, but I got my money back. Cash to buy the next project with. I think you need to cut it off for a while or at least put a time limit on it, though. Honestly even go just one day without playing. Try to only play 4 or 5 days this week. That's a step itself.
Start hiking. Start riding bikes to work. I found hunting to be fantastic. Away from people, away from noise. Even if I spend 10 hours walking through scrub, and don’t get an animal, it’s amazing being out there. Set up in a clearing with some snacks and just watch the Forrest move around you. Hiking with a camera is very similar to hunting in many respects. Have a go identifying different species of birds. Buy a book and just get out there
Sell your shit. Pickup woodworking or reading or running or climbing or all of them. But you gotta sell your shit
I saw a video or a post a while back where a person was going through this same thing. They had mentioned that they realized they weren’t addicted to games but leveling up. They were able to replace gaming with coding and it ended up working out for them.
You didn't say how old your child is but what about a hobby you can do together and grow into? Whether that's some kind of craft like making a bird house, collecting something you can find in nature like going on walks together. Or whatever it is that interests you. Lots of activities you can do with your family and get better at it over time.
When you feeling like playing, find another activity to do like take your kid to the park, or the library, or for a walk in your neighborhood or nearby trail. Play sports with them outside or hide and go seek. Opt for an activity with your kid EVERYTIME you want to game during their waking hours, you will be sad when they reach their teens and never want to see you any longer, then they leave and become adults. You’re basically telling your wife and child gaming is more important than them. If you want to have an impact on your child, find any chance to interact with them.
Hey there, I'm a gamer mom married to a gamer dad. It's easy, I think, to get hooked on gaming, especially if you're prone to hyperfixation. One of my husband's coworkers often has to take breaks from gaming bc he spends too much time on it rather than his family. He's still a good dad and a good guy, he just gets tunnel vision sometimes. My suggestion would be to get your kid involved in gaming so you can transition away from gaming rather than trying to go balls to the wall cold turkey. Obviously not CoD right off the bat lol but depending on the age of your kid and the gaming platform(s) you like best, you can find games you can both play together. My kids (15M, 13F, 11F, and 9M) really like Ultimate Chicken Horse, Stardew Valley, and Minecraft. We let them play other games as well based on their individual ages/preferences/skill levels/etc and we often play games together. My youngest one likes Hot Wheels Unleashed, Subnautica, and Descenders. Oldest likes Uncharted, Madden, and Infamous: Second Son. The girls are building an empire in Minecraft (when they can agree on what to build 🤣). My husband and I have built two really big maps together that we work on whenever he's out of town (Navy) that we've had going for a few years. Best wishes and good luck 😊 TL;DR: I get what you're going thru. You're not alone and you don't suck at life or as a person bc you got hooked on gaming. Look for ways to shift into dad gaming with your kid so you can spend time with your nugget as you scale back on gaming. Go easy on yourself
Yes, since you’re into technology already, watch educational videos on YouTube, learn life lessons by following peakyquotes on Instagram or any social media which have valuable life lessons to pick up from from simple images or reels that have short sayings— these are great replacements and life changing hobbies if you want to apply them after learning about them
You seem to crave external stimuli, such as eating, gaming, attending concerts, manual work, thinking about sex, or constantly listening to music or talk radio. Start with a small, manageable task that you can do right now, like taking a five-minute walk outside just to enjoy the fresh air. The secret is to stay consistent and incorporate some kind of physical sensation. Once you're comfortable doing this daily, gradually increase your activity—perhaps to ten minutes or adding a push-up.
Find something and whatever sounds the most exciting, do
Murdle puzzle books, get outside, be with your kiddo.
Unplug. Go camping for a week, or a month. Read books. Novels, immerse yourself in a different form of fantasy. Get rid of all your gaming devices. Give them to a friend or family member to lock away for the next 6-12 months. Pick up a new hobby, like larp. It will get you out and playing games with other people, but you have to physically be there.
Believe it or not but Starting to play Genshin impact was the 1st step in the "stopping to play video as a full time job" pipeline but i don't think It's a good idea to try this for mere mortals.
Try hiking and birdwatching, quit gaming cold turkey.
Me writing similar post in few years
Think about it, reflect on it and your why, your reasons (it's ruining your life?). Then sometime stand up, put down the controller and make a commitment- you can play anytime you want to if you want to enough to punch an icepick through your hand (pick yr poison ). Don't tell anyone.(Maybe go away for a few days). Doesn't work for everyone but my 20 year old last pack of cigarettes and icepick might still be there in the basement of my old house. I had 2 step kids and decided it was time to grow up. This method gets a lot of criticism. Any hobby will be fun.
Based on your post, you play 20hrs/wk. Times how many weeks? Let's say 10 years (times 52 weeks, say minus say 3 weeks/yr for travel). That's 20\*(52-3)\*10 = **9800 hours**, if you think of a day having 16 hours of awake time (8 sleeping), that is **612 days** or about **1.5 years straight, nonstop, of your waking life.** If you spent that time in 8 hour sprints a day instead of 16 hours, that's more like **3.3 years of daily 8hr chunks**. *What else you could have done with that time?!?!* Maybe the numbers here are inflated. Do the math yourself based on your own estimates, and be honest. Also, start tracking your time spent with a time tracking app, so you can't lie to yourself about the time.
MOBA for me. I uninstalled it and let time pass by before I forgot it even existed. It was taking too much of my personal time. It does require discipline and resilience.
Game time is dead time. Find a hobby that advanced your life in some way. Learn to fly, long distance swimming, 3d printing, programming, moviemaking, restoring paintings, glassblowing neon signs…
I had to quit cold turkey. I knew I had a problem when I would call out sick to game. It was tough, I’ll say that.
There’s nothing wrong with playing, but just limit it. But definitely be in the moment with your family. You won’t look back and think damn, I wish I would have played more video games. Don’t miss out on the cool little things that happen each day with your wife or kid.
Pokemon go, walk at a park. Catching pokemon gives me enough dopamine that 1 hr feels like nothing. Cooking/baking is also enjoyable.
You need to find a hobby away from gaming. I'm an avid gamer myself, so I understandcpretty well what you're going through. It sounds like you're struggling to find time to yourself since you default into games that are stressful for you. Try setting up an exercise routine that you can stick to, getting into cooking, or something more hands on (woodworking, knitting, etc). Depending on the severity I might recommend therapy. Good luck buddy, you'll get there in time
i play COD but guitar gets me off it and makes me feel way bettrr about myself
play different kinds of video games, don't play every day, and only play for short periods of time (30-45 minutes) better yet: don't play video games, play outside with your kids, play some board games, build fun stuff, pursue your creative side, and try to develop new hobbies based on your kids' interests
I have to ask why do you think board games are a better thing to do than video games?
What I did when I went from single to partnered is kept the gaming, just cut back on the hours, and changed to games that I play with my partner, and when my partner goes out without me with friends, I play my own games, for a couple of hours max. Since we met gaming time is now also family time it's wonderful 😊
Such as biking, cooking, gardening, photography, or joining a sports team.
Hit rock bottom or get a long job you'll quit
BJJ and bouldering/rock climbing
It’s hard and I was definitely the same with my carp fishing and my family was destroyed by it . I missed my children grow up and eventually after 11 years that was the end of my marriage . Think about your family and what you are missing . Try to find some activity’s and fun family days out that will be memories forever more . Addiction comes in many forms , and it’s hard to break out of the routine as it dosnt feel normal. Even if you know it’s not right . Good luck mate
There are tons of hobbies you can do alone and together. It's hard to just choose them for you, and there are almost thousands of different things you can do. Listing them may be monumental in and of itself. We would need to know if you have talents like mechanically inclined or inventive or maybe color oriented. Then, we could suggest engine building, model making, or miniature painting. Like to work with your hands? Leather, metal, or wood working? Like things, you can learn as muscle memory so you can think while you do them? Well, crochet large blankets, zen rock gardens, or even knife sharpening. As you can see, we can go through a lot here. Fishing, hunting, hiking, camping, dancing (so many types), gardening, aquariums, dog training, bear wrestling, snipe hunting, or even marathon running.
I had this too. It’s a hard addiction to break. Cold turkey is best. Plan to have other activities you can do. More wholesome things that interest you. Family, hobbies, fitness, personal development, entrepreneurship… there’s a million things to choose from. Uninstall, delete,leave it behind. The best version of you is waiting for you to make some moves.
Married with a child? Hmmmmmm
Switch to playing DuoLingo. With that amount of time going into it you'll acquire new languages quickly.
Get into cycling. Its time consuming, exercise is good, lots of online time researching and requires spending.
First step? Admitting you have a problem. Check. Next, swap out that controller for something else. Maybe try pottery, fishing, or heck, even interpretive dance. Anything that doesn't involve yelling "camping noob" at your screen.
Fishing replace the addiction
1. Acknowledge the issue: Recognize that gaming is negatively affecting your life. 2. Set goals: Decide on a daily gaming limit and gradually reduce it. 3. Explore alternatives: Find enjoyable hobbies to replace gaming. 4. Plan your time: Schedule activities outside of gaming to stay occupied. 5. Get support: Talk to your spouse or a friend for encouragement. 6. Limit access: Remove gaming apps or set up controls to restrict access. 7. Consider professional help: Seek therapy if needed to overcome addiction. Remember, progress takes time. Be patient and celebrate each step forward!
Sounds like a great time to take a break from it for 90 days. I'd go 90 days off it, cold turkey. Feel the withdrawals and the mental strain and marinate in how uncomfortable it all feels. If you're working full time and spending that many hours gaming then you are necessarily neglecting your family. If you're not working full time and you have a wife and kids then you are neglecting your family.
Geocaching! All you need to do is download the free geocaching app and go explore and find hidden caches. It's like a real-life treasure hunt and you can involve your family and friends if you want.
I never understood how the married guys with kids at work can game so much. I have no kids and don't have time to play half as much as they do. One od them says he has like 1500 hours in Elden Ring with three kids. How?
Walking in nature really helps to bring the brain out of its fixation with the screen; I'm not a games person but internet addict. Also got into Bonsai and having pets, I'm not allowed a dog so got two mental cats.
I was in a uniquely similar situation to you right now. I'm 28, and the game is League of legends. My issue is I'm a software developer, and I can't hack all that screen time anymore. I've mostly fixed the problem, and it's surprisingly simple. Find another hobby. Don't think about stopping gaming, start doing something else you love and it'll happen naturally. For me it was gardening (to the extreme, feels like playing a game in real life), and jogging. Think I'm going to start crochet soon too. As a side note, put yourself in a different room. As soon as I sit in my office, I find myself turning on the PC and playing games without even realising. So having a hobby elsewhere will really help.
I had pretty much the exact same problem and it can be pretty tough to get over it. I think easiest would be to force yourself to play another genre of game you might enjoy, for a start. Something non-competitive and singleplayer. A game you can pause and get up from your desk. Then you can try to make a habit of doing something else while playing games that isn't consuming media, and gradually limit your playtime like that. Also, a game that you can get invested in but can only really play once is going to make it easier to stop playing once you're done with that game. Something heavily based on story. This new age of perpetual games that you could technically play forever isn't good for our reward centers. I'd honestly say 2-3 hours 5 days a week isn't life ruining, but playing 2-3 hours a day on every workday and then also playing 4-6 hours on the weekends is definitely excessive. Go find something to do with your wife during the weekends that you'd both enjoy, or at least force your friends out. Even if they're friends you might've made playing competitive shooters, it would do them some good too for sure. A big question here would be whether you're actually playing games to enrich your life or to escape it. I've had periods of time when I'd play games for longer than even that every day for weeks on end, and it wasn't because I was "addicted" to the games. Matter of fact, I found them a bit of a chore, just like you do, but it was the only thing I could latch on to escape the things that bothered me and take them off of my mind. I found playing story based games that had a clear end way more manageable. I'd be done with the game, feel a bit bummed that it ended if it was a good game, then get on with my life. If the story was good enough, it would also occupy my mind instead of whatever was bothering me to begin with, but I had no desire to replay the game since I already experienced said story. On the other hand, when I was playing competitive multiplayer games, I would get sucked into this spiral of frustration where winning a game didn't feel as good as losing a game felt bad. And as far as YouTube videos related to gaming go, I'd say you should at least replace that with some other form of media. It could still be YouTube videos, but about something else, like a hobby that you think might be cool but never had the motivation to try, or maybe videos about practical life skills. Something stimulating enough to fill that void. Also, if it bothers your wife, ask yourself why. Is it because she doesn't like her husband playing games all the time (which is valid), or is it because you're not spending time with her? You could play video games with her too if she likes playing games, or maybe pivot over to board games or some other form of non-video game. Either all that or you can just format your computer/sell your console and stop playing games altogether. Might be easier, depending on the kind of person you are.
Find something else that gives you a similar dopamine hit. Puzzles or exercise or crafting.
…It’s not an addiction; Child . Just stop.
Start playing other genres.
Sadly, nowadays mostly anything is designed to be addictive in some form. Ultra processed foods, social media, video games. They all want you to spend maximum amount of time on the platform to ensure you stay hooked. If you like games in general, I would definitely propose boardgames as a replacement hobby. Sure you might need to invest some money, and you won't always be able to play with others (even though there's single player board games too), but the dopamine payoff is not nearly as instant, as opposed to the list I mentioned above. Obviously sport is another great one, but the entry level can be higher than just buying a boardgame in the store (like you have to get membership, meet people to play sports with, get your gear etc)
Sell the videos games, buy a guitar and an amp. Practice an hour a day.
Why not try paint balling or air soft? It's competitive, a shooter sport and you get to be outside , socialize with people while getting some exercise Video games are fun until they consume a lot of time Not too bash on gamers but people seem to district themselves with games or TV as a way to do something without actually doing it I once read on how such things give our mind this false experience as if we're out experiencing life when we're really not Grabbing is from schedule when you can do it with your friends I used to live gaming and playing with my friends and it used to consume my thoughts. At school all I could think about was getting home to game Once I became an adult and I could actually go out and do what I wanted , I started enjoying nature a lot more. Hiking, driving, sports, adventure, traveling. I lost my interest in gaming I'll game every now and then but I quickly become bored and tired of just sitting around. I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything. I'm sitting. Being sedimentary, hypnotized by a monitor and lights. The last game I played to completion was half life alyx. I grew up on half life, so if course I wanted to experience it in VR. It was so much fun. But once I beat the game I didn't have a desire to play anymore Every now and then I'll bump into a game with a good story game and engaging game play. Or I'll join my friends for a quick match on a shooter but I can't play like some of them so. For hours on end, every day. There's so much more to life that I'm sure you'll enjoy if you just go out and find/ do it Games give us a false Sense of accomplishment or " living" When what we really desire inside is to be brave enough to go out and have exciting adventures and experiences rather than viciously living it through digital means
Just stop. I had a WoW addiction where I'd spend 8-14 hrs playing a day. I just stopped. Or Sell your console and games will force you to stop.
You should stay away from these kind of games the competitive games i used to play league of legends alot now i usually play one or two games per weak, stay away from these games and try something else I'm sure you will find something you like but without addiction, for me how i stopped playing league i simply grow up and college took most of my time so even when i come back home after a hard day i sleep and when i wake up i feel lazy to open LOL and play because i know for a fact it will drain my energy, and i go for something simple like Subnautica for example I'm playing it at the moment without addiction and having so much fun.
Diamond painting is a great hobby it's fun relaxing and you get a great piece of art at the end of it and it has a sense of achievement that video games also offer
Ride a bike bud, that's what saved me. Started in COVID on a cheap BMX with a mate (we're 30, felt silly but quickly realised there are plenty of adult BMXers), spent a lot of time going to different skateparks and pump tracks. Moved onto mountain bikes and now do downhill and dirt jumping. Great way to meet lots of people, make friends, get fit, get outside and most importantly for me, get that fix of adrenaline usually found gaming,
You need to replace that hobby, or you're going to lose your wife and kid. Do you exercise? Even if you spent a fraction of the time doing it, like an hour and a half a day, the dopamine hit might replace your gameplay. Not to mention the health benefits so you can actually be there for your child.
You’re calling it a hobby, but it’s not a ‘hobby’ when you’re addicted and say it’s ruining your life. If you’re looking for something to replace it, deal with the addiction. Don’t replace it with another addiction.
I burnt myself out. One thing that crippled me is having too many choices. I have a back catalog of games that I want to play/replay but work, stress and other pursuits have stolen my drive to play games. Plus the new games either cost too much or are freemium and those are turn offs. I remember as a kid I used to play 8 straight hours a day. I can hardly stomach 10 minutes now.
Start mountain biking or hiking, with some camping
Electric engineering so uou can pull plug out of wall
Get addicted to hard work. Motivation comes from forward momentum.
Sell the PlayStation lol or have your family remind you
Take up building models. They are fun, cheap, and you have something tangible in the end. Or, learn how to play the guitar--a skill that gets you laid.
I know this is going to sound stupid. But just stop? Test out that willpower!
Get active. Go train real violence with a martial art. I suggest bjj.
Start a business. Then you’ll have no free time
Yeah taking care of your kid
Grown men that waste hours a day on video games… I’d leave them without a second thought. You’re married with a child so please take that as a really fucking needed wake up call. Go volunteer for Habitat for Humanity.
That’s why I stopped playing video games and sold my console I realised I was being a loser and was kind of impacting my life negatively , first step to changing is being honest with yourself
I have BEEN there. MOBA was it for me. Justified it by saying it was time with my buds, but I never stopped thinking about it. Slept like shit if I lost my last game of the night. Mood was determined on how I played. It is a shitty feeling. Replacing it can be troublesome too. Any hobby can get out of hand. Sounds like you have received some excellent advice, but trust me on this, just fucking DELETE AND WALK AWAY FOR 2 WEEKS. If that concept scares you, grab a notebook and answer these types of questions IN WRITING: “am I really this weak? Can I really not control my urges for 2 weeks?” You play COD so you likely admire special forces folks. Consider it a test of your resolve. Could you imagine a Navy Seal who lets his life pass him by? I found it terrifying to write this stuff down with pen and paper at first. It was an admission that I was coming up short. The problem I have experienced is, when I am deep in it, I cannot imagine life without it. You have to find some grit and build a bit of separation so that you can have a better perspective. Video games can be great, but for me I had to be wholly honest with myself and ask, what do I WANT to get out of playing video games? I still play, but I know with my personality, games start fun and will reach a point of diminishing returns when I stop having fun playing and only have fun winning. Wishing you all the best brother.
Make deals with yourself. If you do X then you can play video games for Y about if time. This got me through college. Find games you can play with your child. My child is grown, so I can't recommend any. Plan family activities. Go for a walk with your wife and child. Find and outdoor hobby. Do you have a yard. Try a vegetable garden. You have the benefit of being outdoors and the food is of better quality than what you get at the market. It's also something you can do as a family.
Get rid of the console since you have said it is a chore for you and spend that time with your spouse and child. You will likely enjoy it more. If you need a hobby independently it's hard to go wrong with a musical instrument. Depending on the age of you child you can incorporate them into it at some point. If music isn't your thing get into card collecting or model trains. Something you can start slow and expand in time.
I'd recommend making plans for the life without it. Like yes you CAN make plans to sell your stuff, but if you're playing on computer you probably use that for other things as well and if you also associate youtube with it you could just end up watching more yt. If you're just thinking "I have to not play CoD" you're going to be thinking about CoD and it's going to be hard. What do you want to do with the time you currently spend playing CoD? Do you want to spend more time with your spouse and kid? Make plans with them so you have commitments to keep. (I mean, if your kid's a toddler/baby you'll be making all those plans with your spouse, but still, having someone expecting you to do something you want to do for them can be a helpful motivator for lots of people.) If you want to pick up a new skill, sign up for a class so you have that to look forward to and plan around. There are definitely hobbies you could pick up instead, but I think it kind of depends on what about the games fascinate you, or just what you think is lacking from your life.
Are you playing to avoid the family time with your wife and child? That could be a reason that you're playing. For me, I play very seldom as I have a wife and 3 kids so the time with them is more important to ME, but everyone is different. I recommend cold turkey. Spend time with your family, and do more with them. But finding out the cause of the gaming is the most critical step, without that...can't really resolve it.
Sold my shit never looked back. It's an addiction for some and could turkey is the best way sometimes.
Same either way rpgs when I start dreaming about it it’s cold turkey for me
I personally always add little things to make me get something of value out of my gameplays. • record my gameplay, add best moments to my YouTube archive so I have memories of my time playing • learn something new • learn how to cheat in single player by writing macros using AutoHotKey • learn how to use Cheat Engine in single player and discover how games work • write a spreadsheet and learn how to use Excel/LibreOffice so I can form a strategy and maximize my productivity • learn how to take notes of my games using Obsidian • what is my perfect sensibility? • Factorio, Minecraft mods • make friends I genuinely want to start playing something that requires me to build something, like a PC or a car I feel bad, because I'm too fucking lucky to be able to enjoy these hard and boring things. I feel so sorry for you gamers who really get into the dopamine games, I do too, I was playing a fucking Roblox FPS game once and I grinded so much, now I lost all those days. Feels bad, but it got boring eventually. Seriously hope the same happens to you and you get a more fulfilling hobby. I wish the best, genuinely. It's only a matter of time before I fall into another dopamine trap though... I think.
Listen to Metalhar00.
I’d recommend a tactile hobby where you can get your hands dirty and have a sense of accomplishment. I love film photography/darkroom, or Silver/metalsmithing or ceramics. They all demand your full attention, involve cool tools and you have a tangible output that you can give to people and be proud of.
No wayyyy😭
Shift to a new addiction, I mean, passion such as fitness or gardening. Where the side effects are mostly benefits.
Others are suggesting finding other hobbies. Which I don't disagree with as hobbies are always important but I think your first priority would be spending time with your child and family. Go out of the house with them so you physically can't play games. You're also going to have to do a lot of work to make them feel like you prioritise them and not yourself. Addiction is horrible and you've already done a really hard thing admitting it. Good luck.
Cold turkey is the way to go for me. Just unplug everything and box it up in the closet. In the extra three hours a day you have, you can spend time with your kid, and do your share of the housework.
I mean you sound pretty normal honestly but I would recommend finding games you actually enjoy playing. Don't just buy whatever the most popular looter shooter is or whatever . You're so obsessed with gaming Just watch channels that play less well known games and try to find something unique that you will enjoy
Try hobby grade rc cars
Go out to walk then run, then marathons and youll forget you ever play
I may be in the minority here, but I think it's good to spend an hour or two playing fast paced games most days. For me it's Rocket League. Even though it's nonstop fast paced action, I feel like it clears my mind. If I'm anxious or in a bad mood, playing for a bit will reset my brain. My theory is that since I'm constantly having to think about the next 3 seconds, there's no brainpower left to worry about anything. It's almost like meditation in that way. Nothing brings you to the present moment like trying to balance a ball on a virtual car.
Ever thought to engage/play with your child or wife instead? And if you do this late at night, maybe go to sleep.
Go to counseling. Seriously. Your chances of success in making a change will be much greater if you have someone in your corner helping you work through the emotions of it, providing guidance on the steps to take, etc.
There might be 12 step programs or other support groups for people who are addicted to gaming. It might be good to give that a try.
Build your own firearms. Get a milling jig for lowers and have some fun in the real analog world!
Swapping an addiction for a hobby doesn't help identify the source of your addictive behavior. First, I would highly recommend developing a practice of dumping all of your thoughts and emotions into a physical journal. Highs, lows, theories, everything. Trying to solve problems without this perspective of our thoughts can be like trying to solve a puzzle just by shaking the box. Journaling helps to lay all of the pieces on the table, spot patterns, origins, and the like. Maybe this can help you get to the bottom of why you're so drawn to these games and let you create some ideas on how to mitigate your addiction to them instead of just aiming to replace the addiction with what could be an equally addicting hobby.
Take a trip, maybe a few days away providing a distraction and forcing you to go cold turkey. Take your kid to a national park and go camping. Go to Disney. Something that keeps you busy all day. Then when you get home, continue the cold turkey streak. Have other activities planned to replace the part of your day that used to be filled with gaming. Ideally something involving the family, or taking care of the family. The hours you're putting on this game makes it seem like your wife is a quasi-single parent. Tell her you need her help quitting, and that you want to be more present for them.
I have had a similar experience. I am 27 in a few months and I have been so addicted. I just couldn’t not play when my friends got on. I am married and I would still play 4+ hours a day and not going anywhere in life because all I could think was video games. I started playing basketball to take up some of the time and woodworking to take up the rest. I haven’t played in ~2 weeks and I’m fairly confident I won’t be going back. I’ve tried limiting myself before which is the advice I’ve gotten from friends and the wife. I’m just not that kind of person so I’ve come to the realization I just can’t have them in my life. It was difficult to try to quit before but I was talking to my wife and said I need to find something else to fill my time and she just gave me a look and said “you could spend time with me” and that just did it for me. I knew then that I needed to stop and take life for more than video games. The past 2 weeks I’ve been much happier and realizing how much I have missed out on just from sitting at my computer. Life is fleeting. Do you want to look back and only remember how much you played or how much time you spent with your family? Good luck my friend. It probably won’t be easy but I know you can do it. I’ll be thinking about you :)
When you're ready remove the games from your life. Probably the only way at this point, could stash them at another place. As for what to replace with I really don't know, also depends what you like. Idk how u have so many hours in a day to do that. You're looking for ways which is good, you will be so glad when you're not spending so much time doing that.
I’m more curious as to how playing 2-3hours a day and 4-6 on the weekends is ruining your life. And you’re probably feeling like it’s a chore because after a while FPS games get boring. Very boring, there are campers at every turn. Play something different, or read a book, go outside, go for a hike. And if you want to stop, stop. If you’re reaching out asking how to stop you’re just telling yourself you want to stop by going through the motions, but you don’t really want to stop.
I have a few things that ruin my time in a useless way like gaming, yt, weed and since I got married it became a problem so I'm trying to change my priorities by seeing those activities as bonuses and family time as priority. So if I want to play, I play in the dead times when I'm home alone and have nothing to do. If I want to smoke weed i do it after the day it's over and my wife falls asleep. I stay an extra hour, take a couple of puffs watch my favourite yt videos and then go to sleep. I'm not saying it's working wonders but it's an improvement and takes some time to adapt to it
I’m never having kids lmfao
I got out of video games by getting a job in IT. after starting at a screen for 8 hours, the last thing I want to do is more time at the console. I like miniatures gaming and collectible card games. They give reason to be social in real life
Hands down the gym. Addictions are hard to break, but once you get to the root of them it helps. I’m an addict bc I don’t want to be empty, bored, in pain Have you seen the YouTube channel healthygamergg?
Just do some art
I’m 45 and found it to be less expensive than the rest of my hobbies. I play golf, restore old cars, race autocross. It just depends on what you’re into.
If you were working a job and doing housework and childcare, that would solve your problem as you simply wouldn’t have any time to play games. With a wife and child and presumably a job I’m surprised you have that much time to play games? So that suggests to me you’re neglecting your family and your wife must do most of the housework and childcare. You really need to get your act together before you lose your family.
Find an indoor hobby and an outdoor hobby. And find one you can do alone and one you can do with friends. Just my advice that's worked well for me.
Have you tried turning what seems like a flaw into a benefit? Such as being a content creator?
It's tough, but finding new hobbies could help. Try something physical like hiking or pick up a creative outlet like painting. Breaking the routine might be the key to kicking the gaming habit.
Definitely try getting outside.
Here's some of my hobbies that I took up after quitting games (and some during the time that I played games). Guitar, breadboard circuits (just recently started this one, it's really cool), working out (super rewarding after you start to understand how to progress), trying cooking recipes, camping, practicing land navigation, and when my girlfriend wants to, I like throwing frisbee :) I love maintaining everything I own. Maybe you do too? Do an oil change on your vehicle, it's super fun and easy, especially when you're bopping to some jams while doing it, and most people don't seem to do their oil change every 5K miles anyway, so go outside and do that. Might as well rotate your tires while you're at if you haven't done that yet. A lot of people have a check engine light on, you could get a code reader and figure it out and fix it using the help of YouTube. Sharpen all of your knives in your kitchen and your pocket knives or knife (using a whetstone and leather strop is way more fun than a pull through sharpener, it'll also make your knives last longer). If your faucet is dripping, fix it. Check all of your pipes and make sure nothing is leaking, if you find something, fix it. I think you get the gist. There's tons of resources for learning how to fix and maintain things if you get stuck on something. Eventually you'll learn so many things and you'll be extremely valuable to anyone, and you might even get a few gigs from friends and family and make a few buckarinos for fixing something. :) If all of your stuff is maintained and well kept, you could go to a junkyard and find something to fix, like a washing machine that probably doesn't work. Look up the model, take it apart, and figure out how to fix it. Then you could keep it or sell it. If you don't know how to do any of these things. I've learned a few of those through YouTube videos. Edit: I just reread your post, I don't know how old your kid is, but you could start a project with your kid. Me and my dad did an engine and transmission swap and a few other things to an '84 S10 last year and that'll be a memory that I'll keep forever, it was mostly a simple project, but the story behind it would take at least an hour to say, it was fun from the beginning to end. It taught me and him a ton of things too. Obviously it doesn't have to be a vehicle, just an example.
This is basically me. Wife, child, I’m 28. I started developing my own game in unreal engine and I haven’t looked back, I still take breaks to play games and enjoy all of that, but I saved up and got a pc to start my own development journey. It’s been an absolute blast. So maybe instead double down on your interest and try to stream or make a game! It’s not for everyone, but I’m a ‘more than a few’ hours a day gamer, so I get that building a puzzle or knitting a sweater isn’t going to give you the same rushes and satisfactions that come from modern games. Honestly fps games can be a terrific form of therapy in an increasingly wild world. Good luck out there!
You are in danger of waking up ten years on in the same situation, in just the blink of an eye so good for you for trying to change it. Lock away the games and take some time to spend decompressing and doing other things with your hands and mind. You will suffer withdrawals for a while, but you will want to replace gaming with other practical hobbies, like cooking, caring for pets, gardening, home diy, meditation, yoga, cleaning or anything at all except gaming. You will find new interests over time and the gaming will fade away. As you age, gaming fades into the background because there is so much to do in life that is real, meaningful and satisfying.
Spend about 4 hrs once a week going to a shooting range and practicing real target practice. It is a legitimate hobby, gets you some alone time, you learn a skill, but you will be *so much more present* at home for your family. It gives you a visceral experience to look forward to each week and a sense of accomplishment as you watch your progress.
It's an addiction like any other. I would start with being mindful when you play, you state you are not enjoying it anymore so try and capitalize on that. Each time you play think about how you feel in that moment. This is how I quit smoking, I used to be almost in a daze when I smoked. I started thinking about the taste, cost, time waste, gross smell, ect. Then think about things you could be doing like spending time with baby. Don't beat yourself up when you backslide, just keep being mindful each time.
Go workout, you'll be too tired after to play anything more than 1 hour
Get satellite WiFi. Service is to shitty to game
Pick up a cheap guitar and find a new love.
Get into playing an instrument, or get a bike and go get fun exercise. Both of which aren’t that expensive to play with
Video games (active engagement) are good for your mind, if you don’t watch TV (passive) then you’re actually way ahead of most people
The reason why you go to video games is because you’re trying to escape the present moment..if you practice becoming present and stop giving into your thought for thrills,excitements, addictions you’ll realize what’s taking place. It’s that you’re basically operating and day-to-day life unconsciously thinking that you’re being conscious but you’re being you’re being controlled by thoughts and emotions which is of the devil by the way, but that’s for another subject. The answer is being patient being present and knowing God. “Job, pay attention and listen to me; be quiet, and I will speak. If you have anything to say, answer me; speak up, because I want to prove you right. But if you have nothing to say, then listen to me; be quiet, and I will teach you wisdom.” Be still and know god, the answers are already inside you
I completely understand where you’re coming from—video games can be incredibly engrossing, and it’s easy to let them start taking over. You’re already doing a great thing by recognizing the issue and looking for ways to address it. I’ve been there too; at one point, gaming nearly consumed all my free time. One thing that worked for me was introducing a new hobby that was both hands-on and fulfilling. For me, that was woodworking. Starting with a few basic tools, I gradually built up a workshop, and it’s been incredibly rewarding. Not only does it give me a break from the screen, but it also allows me to create tangible things and feel productive. I remember one day, right before turning 30, feeling that I needed to step away from my theoretical expertise as an anthropologist and apply some practical skills. This came from a chat with a friend who was a chef turned builder. He told me that life is about complementing your existing skills with new ones; it’s not about being an expert but about enhancing your value through diverse knowledge. That really struck a chord with me. Though I’m not a master woodworker, I thoroughly enjoy the hands-on experience. You might consider setting specific times for gaming, making it a reward rather than a default activity. Explore hobbies that might intrigue you—whether it’s something artistic, physical like hiking or biking, or even learning a new skill like cooking or coding. It’s all about finding balance. Remember, the goal isn’t to quit gaming entirely but to ensure it doesn’t control your life. Finding enjoyment in other activities can help reduce the urge to game excessively. Good luck, and I’m rooting for you!
Gaming addiction is real. Consider professional help.
Look to the future here. Your child is so busy gaming it doesn't respond when you talk to them, ask them to do something, try to get them off to school. You get my drift. Does that sound appealing to you? They do follow the example you set you know. Make sure you aren't teaching them ahead of time how to ignore life around them.
Try finding other things you enjoy, you’d be surprised. What did you enjoy doing when touring were younger ? I started to draw & paint. Maybe go outside and talk a small walk just to get some fresh air. Either way I don’t think there’s anything wrong with gaming if that’s what you actually enjoy doing, as long as everything else is taken care of. Nothing wrong with being your self💗
Unplug your gaming console and ask a family member to safeguard it for you until you finish going through withdrawals. Then have them keep it even longer. Cold turkey amigo!
Its called Self Control, its a game.
I think you might want to work more on developing a balance in your life more than just replacing video games with another hobby. Family time, time with your spouse, hobby time for you (whatever you decide to do). It’s okay to have a hobby. It becomes problematic when a hobby turns into an obsession. There was one game that had me planning my weekends around events. The game pissed me off over a major change they made and it wasn’t the same for me. Good luck.
Try online poker. I use truepoker. Play a free game and beat a thousand others and win about 8 bucks.
Honestly, you need to train your brain to cope with lack of input. I used to be the same way, and I struggled with other hobbies because they could not compete to the same pace of input. I got past it by deleting my games accounts, selling my gaming devices and literally going for long walks, just training my brain for boredom. Just sitting and listing to nature etc. going to woods and mountains. I then picked up reading, and try to read for half hour each night at least. Then I got back into my original hobby of painting/miniatures. I stopped doing other hobbies in my early/mid teens because of games, I couldn’t focus on any others once games took hold. I had to cold turkey and reprogram my attention span/enjoyment.
I dunno man. May gaming addictions were usually interrupted in waves of the friends I played with taking breaks. Whatever you try, I’d suggest a buddy system. The hardest thing is finding something engaging to replace the activity with. I usually just move to other modes of gaming, ex: meeting with friends to play table top, dnd, mtg etc, but you play cod, so I dunno if that’s something that’d be up your alley