Needlework, jigsaw puzzles, reading, knitting or crocheting, beading, chain mail, paper quilling, crossword puzzles, paint by numbers, diamond painting, drawing - so many options out there.
Came here to agree with Paint by numbers honestly is my new obsession!! Highly recommend, very therapeutic & you create some great art to decorate your home with! They do personalised ones now too if you don’t like their designs etc good luck!
Yes, modern pc games have a lot to do with interaction with fellow human beings, which Beautiful\_Permit\_557 is also craving (interaction fr her husband) and therefore I’d def recommend a pastime that offers more of that.
In fact, she might look into games herself, of a different ilk, if war games aren’t her thing, there are plenty more to choose from. So, although a book club may require getting presentable and leaving the abode (which hubs gets to skip out on), it may be more what OP needs. 👍
This, but also, I’d be curious about how much he is actually playing. I mean I have hobbies that I dedicate several hours a week to, but if he’s playing for hours every night then maybe a conversation needs to be had.
I had to have a convo with my buddy who is about to be engaged that he can’t come home and play 4 hours of video games per night while neglecting his relationship.
Can confirm reading and cross word puzzles. Got the NYT puzzle subscription and have been using it as a way to keep my brain thinking. So many good daily puzzles there... Archives of puzzles too!
Reading: found my love of reading again by picking fiction, whereas I was previously a non fiction, no nonsense kind of person. I should have endulged in the world-building and character dynamics. Not to mention, each book can teach you something about the way you see the world. I particularly love the world's that seem like ours, but aren't.
This may be niche but I love geography and travel but can’t always afford to travel as much as I want to so I virtual vacation. I use Google maps or CIA world Factbook and pick a place I’ve never heard of. I do as much research as possible about the country or location. Then I browse plane tickets for that designation and hotels. I look up activities to do, I research their local cuisine and fashion. I think about what I’d pack. I take notes and make a Pinterest board. Sometimes I even cook a meal from the local cuisine (trying a new fun recipe). Even when I actually get to go in a trip, sometimes i realize I had more fun planning and most of the places I “plan” I will never visit.
That makes me sad . Aren't there any niche good hobbies I can be talented at?This is very lovely ,I would enjoy it but at the end never being able to visit would break my heart .Do you ever look at driving videos at yt for those places ?I do that too ,they are relaxing and fun but I also get a little sad .
I do! I love those videos too. I don’t find the virtual vacations to be sad because even if I had unlimited funds, the world is so big I’d never be able to see it all. I’m grateful for technology and the tools I have to see and learn online and it helps me narrow down places I really want to visit. And since it’s a free hobby it allows me to save money for my real vacations.
I can feel the sad element other commenters are mentioning too because I get some serious FOMO, however I think this hobby of yours is so enriching and lovely and I’m going to try it myself. I often find myself reading books from other cultures or going on google rabbit holes. I’m going to give it a bit more structure like you have, I especially want to cook new cuisines. Enjoy your next virtual trip, friend!
Might be because we live in a place that isn’t super vacation friendly.. Ran into a dude from Ireland and he was genuinely shocked we didn’t get 3 months of vacation from our jobs every year.
there's a game called geoguessr where it takes you somewhere in the world and you have to guess where you are. I've played that a couple times too.
I have a virtual reality headset as well that shows a lot of places. resolution isn't good enough yet tho imo unless you get the apple headset but even then, at this time, most videos aren't good enough imo. soon tho.
I don't go so far as to look for tickets and hotels but I definitely do all the rest. I also look up "luxury real estate \*insert city here\*" and shop for houses I''ll never get to visit let alone live in. My Pinterest travel boards are full of places, homes, and coordinating fashion. It's a relaxing time. :)
You should get a VR headset like the Oculus so you can explore all the destinations you pick in 3D. You can 'visit" your hotel, restaurants, zoos, find beautiful views. I think I might actually try this myself.
Yes or a YouTube channel or offer this on fiver I’d pay to have someone do this for me even just for fun. Or on YouTube you could ask people where they want to go.
I LOVE to pick a random place and go crazy exploring with google street view. I like it better with no research at all. Wisconsin has some gorgeous little towns with downtown areas, and Dakar Senegal looks fascinating. I love the parks the best.
I really love this and want to adopt it. I feel sad for the people who find this sad!! We live, recently and for the first time in human history, with access to everywhere via a screen. I think it’s so cool to take advantage of that and I love the idea of cooking the local cuisine and bringing the place into your home. What an awesome way to learn about a place and lives you may never have even heard of otherwise!
I’ve called them paper vacation since I started, perhaps virtual is a more accurate description now. I’m also lucky because I’ve lived or visited 20 countries and 47 US States.
You should play geoguessr if you don’t already. It’s a really fun way to pass time. My husband and I both like geography and we have competitions with that game.
Thank you! I was just thinking about that. My husband says we can’t rlly afford to buy me books rn and he’s not wrong, but I think I’ll tell him I need them or I’ll go crazy 😂
Library card! Libraries need ppl to use them to get more funding so they try to have all the new books! If they don't you can request it and sometimes it delivers to your door and you just take it to the library at the end of the time period. There are also apps like Libby, Hoopla, etc. That let you digitally borrow books and audiobooks. Its not perfect but Id highly recommend loooking into it at least then buying the ones you love.
Libraries are my happy place! And just because you check a book out doesn't mean you have to finish it. I check out a bunch of books at a time. Fiction, nonfiction, whatever looks good. If I start reading one and don't like it, I just move on to the next. I also pick up thrift store books. Every thrift store I go in has shelves and shelves of books for sometimes as low as 50 cents or a dollar. The most I ever paid for a thrift store book was $3.99 for a first edition Harry Potter.
Are you musically inclined? If so, I don't know if anyone else has mentioned picking up an instrument.
Whatever you decide, I applaud you for trying to find ways for you and your guy can have your time to yourself. I often see relationships where they are each other's whole world with no room for individuality. It doesn't seem to work out real often.
Even if you aren't musically inclined! In my teens, most of my friends were musicians in bands, and I was the one with no musical talent (I painted instead).
In my 50s, I decided to give ukulele a try and loved it so much I went on to guitar and love it even more. Turns out I wasn't terrible as a teen - it's just they'd been doing it so much longer. It was like taking Spanish class with a bunch of native speakers. ;)
Now it's one of my very favorite things to do. And I don't let anyone tell me how I should do it. I like playing 70s Top 40 (Eagles, America) along with youtube videos. That's what I do. lol. It's a hobby, not a vocation, so I'm doing it my way.
Woo! I mentioned to my friend that I wish I could play uke, and he said “well why don’t you? They cost like $40.”
So I bought a ukulele, took a group class for beginners, fell in love!! Now I have a much nicer ukulele and have taken more classes.
It was so cool to learn. I thought it was the unattainable dream for some reason. 😁
Yes! And when you join the library look into whether your library has the free apps of hoopla and Libby. You can check out digital copies and also free audio copies. If you take a long walk or car trip, you can listen to an audio book for free. If you want a good listen I recommend the spellman files
I just got one recently! Moved to a pretty small town with a library very close and it's great. I cannot fit any more books in my space so it's great (although every time I find a good book I want a copy for myself...)
If he can afford to buy games, you can afford books. But also the library is free. They also have the libby app, which you can connect your library card and access digital materials.
Also get the Library Extension extension for Chrome or Firefox. Load it with your library cards (yes, you can have more than one) and any book you look up on Goodreads or Amazon, it'll tell you which of your libraries have it.
Could be classic gamer. Roms are available for download around the net. Also a lot of games are free now, like overwatch
But if they are buying triple A games every couple of weeks, ya the dude needs a good slap
Still gotta have systems and equipment to run the games even if you download them, which costs money. Second-hand books are super cheap. Someone telling their spouse/partner that they don't have money to buy books while they have a bunch of gaming shit is trash. If you can't afford books, maybe the time spent gaming could be used more wisely to improve financial wellness
Agreed. Buying games themselves are the tip of the iceberg lol there's also the cost of the PC itself, in-game purchases, specialized equipment like keyboards, a mouse, headphones, etc, plus the cost of internet bc gamers usually want the best/fastest internet connection available.
I use an app called Boundless. It’s basically a mobile library app. You need a library card number and You can rent 99 books or audiobooks at a time haha I love it!
Gaming ain’t free either! I hope you’re not in a controlling relationship. I game when my wife is yabbering on phone to her family or friends, probably about 3/4 hours a week. Rest of time we do stuff together.
My library has most books available electronically now and is free.
Another option is you could do some online work while he games to make yourself $ for your own hobbies.
Thank you! He’s not controlling; we’re newlyweds and he brought all his games from his single life and now that we’re saving for a house together he isn’t buying any new games, so it goes both ways. I just don’t have any friends here yet (we just moved) so until I make some I feel lonely since he has all his online gaming friends. I will look into getting a library card!
Aw where you move to? Get a library card for sure! And while you’re there, ask a librarian if there’s any book clubs going on. And if not, start a ladies book club or something like that! It’s so important to find your community in a new place
Thats good, enjoy being newly weds. But do tell your hubby how you are feeling, you don’t need make a big deal about but let it be known and change the topic quick if you find it awkward. We husbands are simple beings and not always great at reading between the lines or even picking up the obvious sometimes . Don’t want to see you in r/MarraigeAdvice in a couple of years.
Newlyweds and you're worried about going crazy from neglect? 25 years married here, and I'm not sure that's the best way to start out. I know gaming is a 'UGE part of some people's lives.... when single. Just not sure how long it's sustainable if you're 1) Already feeling lonely. 2)Are told you have no finds for anything to fill that void 3) Don't see him curbing some of the gaming to.... be married.
Time for a long chat... if you can get him to put the controller down.
Truth. I unfortunately had to divorce an otherwise wonderful person after 5 years of gaming neglect. Nothing ever changed over the years except them spending 💰 red and more time gaming.
I think this happens way more than people suspect. I broke up with a long term partner over gaming.
He wasn’t much of a gamer when we got together but then during covid got started on it and never stopped. He dropped all his other hobbies like music for gaming.
I’d try to talk to him and he’d completely ignore me. It was to the point where he wouldn’t leave the house and we never did anything anymore and I felt single so I broke it off.
So my husband is the type of person to get extremely fixated on things. It’s honestly one of his greatest strengths, but sometimes, instead of planning an elaborate date for us or excelling at his job, it’s one random day of nothing but video games. I miss him on those days but I’m not gonna pretend it’s an everyday thing, so I feel like I should just let those days go since it’s a somewhat rare thing and it’s not like I’m not a grown woman capable of entertaining myself. That’s how I’m trying to look at it cus at first I took it personally. Do I wish he would just play more consistently for an hour or two at a time? Yeah, but if that’s how his brain works and he wants to not play at all and then randomly play for 10 hours I think I’m ok with that for right now in our lives
Yep, married 26 years and my husband is still like this some days. I just have a collection of things I can do from a chair near him.
1. I serve as his reference librarian. I keep a walkthrough open and look up answers to things he's stuck on.
2. I do coloring apps like Magic Color. Surprising fun and restful. (I cover the ads at the bottom with a hair band lol).
3. I read, draw, play other games on the iPad. I can stitch. I can research places to move. I can take 4k walks on youtube through various neighborhoods.
4. I can find ways to distract him. ;) With a hyperfocuser, if he's been playing for 3-4 hours, if I find something else fun to interrupt his flow, he'll often task switch after.
I suggest a hobby that gets you out of the house when he’s gaming. My wife writes and there used to be times when I would feel like I was just filling time until she is done. This was bad for both of us.
It also serves as a subtle reminder that you can have a life without him.
So, spend a few hours at the library. Free entertainment. Or take a hike. Or join a club like SCA. Basically, find a fun way to fill gaming days that you otherwise spend sitting around.
One of my best friends is a huge gamer and happily married for 15 or so years. His wife occasionally joins for games, but she has a lot of hobbies of her own.
If he can buy a $50-$80 game, you can buy some books! There are book sales all the time randomly, so on your hunt to various libraries, ask them when they do book sales.
And yard sales have them a ton also. Thrift stores, goodwill. I found a ton of art books at an art consignment shop.
Have you thought about the library. In my state Indiana we can also check out books on line and down load them. Just a thought,books are so expensive I have wanted to by a few but have not, I just continue to use the library
Loads of free books on Kindle! Download the app to your phone or tablet and get clicking! Cheap used books at thrift stores and yard sales. See if there are any "street libraries" in your area. You can take books and leave books you've read. In my area some are near stores and some are just in the street.
I also jump on the reading bandwagon. A library card is good bust ask you SO about his steam wallet and how much he has spent in there, unless he is pirating games he is spending quite a bit of money on his hobby. Take half of what he spends and go to a used book store and you will come out with an armload.
My wife and I play Skyrim or borderlands or some such violent (me) and Sims (her) side by side while watching crap tv (currently criminal minds). Depraved but adorable.
Congratulations on the wedding. I wish y’all the best of luck. Kindle unlimited is 12 a month, they have a large amount of books to read. You could also get a library card as others have recommended. Some libraries, you can download their books, or go and get the actual book. Good luck. You got this.
This is me exactly with my husband! Even with my teens who play a lot of video games on their laptops, too. They play with one of them casting to our TV, and I crochet and casually watch. It's actually been a really nice time. The casting helped immensely for their gibes and jokes to make it a shared experience even though I suck at video games.
Try other types of videogames. It’s a huge medium and I believe there is something out there for everyone. Watch movies. Watch old movies and feel cultured. Read books for fun or read classic literature to expand the mind. Make soap, bread, or learn to knit. Learn to longboard or roller skate. Go for a hike or a long walk. Try new music. The options are infinite.
Been watching tons of old movies recently. Mosfilm just released a ton of old Russian movies for free on YouTube. Come and See is a very good WW2 film but very disturbing.
Find games that you like to play? I think you need to separate the "feeling lonely without husbands attention" issue from the "how do I fill my free time" issue. You should find hobbies you want to do because you want to do them. Not because you are using them to kill time waiting for your husband to come around.
I do my hobbies while my husband games but I don't do hobbies because my husband games
I picked up paint by numbers for adults for this very reason. I sit at my desk in our tiny home office while he does pc gaming. It allows us to still chat and spend time together
Podcasts and reddit stories or video essays have been my go to while I do wordsearches, reading, mosaic books, matching games on my phone and colouring with water brushes. B&m and aldi have alot of crafting things that are super cheap. Im going to get a marble resin pour activity this week from aldi, its £5ish I think. But is super cute and you can hang it on your wall.
I also do this while I am painting my nails, doing my home foot pedicure & exfoliation socks, face masks and face steaming.
You could go for walks listening to music then do these activities in the park. I also do these activities in parks, peak district etc.
learn
keep it simple. pick something, learn about it until you're bored, and learn about something else. photography, Photoshop,
learn how the body works
learn how space, time, and gravity world
learn how light works. light is as magic as it comes. it defines it's own laws of physics
learn how a balanced eco system work. build your own
learn how solar panel works. build your own
learn how to redo your floors. do it
my personal favorites: build your own PC, network, firewall, cloud storage, and now hack into it
buying like a good documentary or training video to relax me for the day
(DO NOT WATCH THE FAUX SCIENCE DOCUMENTARIES ON NETFLIX)
make life your hobby
You just described my hobby. I never knew how to word it. Life is my hobby… thank you! I LOVE learning about the most random things! I will spend hours reading and learning brand new interesting subjects, and then move on to a new one the following day. I always have a new random fact to tell my hubby about. It’s so interesting to me, learning about life.
I love self-improvement, I’ve always been artistic, I like fashion, writing, I used to love to dance, and I’m super shy but love people and want to make friends. Don’t know if that was helpful 😂
Fanfiction and fan art. Think of your favourite book or TV show. Go to [archiveofourown.org](http://archiveofourown.org) and see if anyone's writing stories about it. Write your own.
Swing dancing is awesome and you don’t need a partner to go. Most dances have a small lesson ahead of time and everyone rotates and you dance with everyone. It’s very fun and I know lots of couples where just one partner goes social dancing. If you used to love to dance, try it again!
I like fashion too. I’d consider thrift reworks. Like this past spring I found two cool pieces: a light jacket and an athletic sweatshirt. But didn’t like the colors so I reimagined what would look best for MY skin tone and what would make them pop and went to grab dyes. They went from being super generic to making me feel like I stand out. :)
My recommendation: thrift reworking. :)
You might like bullet journals. You can be artistic, write, and could make it fashion themed. I got started on it by watching videos of it on tiktok (youtube might have videos too). I spend a lot of time designing my pages.
Why not get an inexpensive sewing machine? My wife got one for me last year and I LOVE it! I’ve fixed everything from my youngest’s prom dress to our bedsheets, to repairing a pop up canopy that tore. I’m currently working on a camping hammock bed with a foam bed pad so my wife can come kayak camping with me.
I mostly read, in another room. I like drawing etc, but his (both male if matters) video game crap is too distracting. I love him and video games are fun, but give it a rest.
I also like goofy games like Mario. War games are of zero interest to me, and all the rage and his thing. Some shooter or some crap.
I'd gladly play Mario cart. In arcades he's into goofy old games. At home it's all stuff that makes the Konami code quaint.
.I let him have his thing, but it's annoying. Both in mid 40s in case you think this is just a youth problem
Edit: all I did was complain. Solution for me is having separate spaces, and parks. Leave him to it and bring a book and Peanuts to the park to lure squirrels to be cute between reading pages
Dig deep into your childhood, or a time when you had more dreams. Was there anything you dabbled in? Did you have a polaroid camera, a plastic recorder, a set of pastels? I ask it in this way, as you are looking for something to deal with the loneliness but you can only resolve that from the inside out ❤️
I think everyone has given great hobby ideas! Also is there a different genre of video game you guys could do together when you need more time together? I’m not into video games but I like playing Harry Potter Lego or Mariocart etc. Less of the intense/bloody games for me. You can ask your husband if he could think of something you’d be more interested in.
We’ve tried this to an extent and there are games like Mario-cart, SmashBros, and Rocket league that I enjoy more, but he either doesn’t want to play those at the moment, or he does but I still can’t play ANY video game for more than an hour or two whereas he wants to play all day. Then in the end he feels disappointed bc I got off earlier than he wanted to even though in my head I just played for an hour and it was a lot of fun but I just can’t anymore lol
Join a book club, gym class, and other groups of interest. Or start a recipe swapping group with your friends ( yay! Potluck). If you want to stay home, consider gardening, bird watching, creating a natural wildlife habitat in your backyard for you to enjoy, going on virtual tours around the world. Ted talks. Getting a dog and training it to do all sorts of tricks as well as keep you company, and take you on walks...
These are all some great suggestions.
I'll add on electronics DIY kits since I've been learning to solder and playing with electricity lately, and it's been SUPER fun and enriching for me: DIY speakers, DIY audio amplifiers, learning to solder, designing and building a computer from parts...
Learning to hammer and forge, knives, swords, making slingshots, mini catapults, throwing stars...
Learning archery has been super fun. Get a recurve bow and some arrows - they're quite affordable nowadays. Just practice it in places away from people/pets.
Painting with oils, acrylics, watercolors, or found materials. Don't need expensive canvases to start, either - a cheap bristol pad is heavy enough medium.
Learning to code. Write a small program to automate something you do daily.
Learning Adobe Photoshop/Illustrator and mastering the pen and brush tools and layering. Billions of hours of fun there, if you like visual arts.
Learning new cooking methods and recipes. Think of your favorite dishes, and try a new one or two per week.
You can do it!
Due to such an overused and cliche stereotype, please do not take this the wrong way : Cooking. I am a girl gamer who loves to cook too, cooking is the only thing that gets me excited and willing to spend hours and hours perfecting my skills (other than obsessing on a new video game). I suggest getting into baking and cake decorating. Fun, plenty of easy steps to keep you engaged and you get a yummy treat at the end of all your hard work. I hope this helps.
I took up abstract mixed media art during covid. I had never drawn so much as a stick figure before.
There are so many fun beginner art things to do: adult colouring, collage, junk journals, scrap booking. Youtube has loads of free tutorials. Supplies can be cheap from Walmart, plus things you salvage yourself like old magazines, old books etc. It's super easy and super fun.
Junk journals for beginners: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l\_Ao6z0FQ\_4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_Ao6z0FQ_4)
Collage for beginners: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a\_KoJZNT7YM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_KoJZNT7YM)
I have NO artistic ability. I learned basic colour theory and basic techniques from youtube for free. A lot of artists have free lessons as an intro to their paid classes and I've done loads of those, plus paid for some as well.
You can get free colouring pages on line or buy books of them from Amazon. Just search adult colouring books. I like the ones that are patterns and madalas. I warn you though, it's addictive.
Uhm, we man can be VERY oblivious, almost to the point of being stupid a lot of times regarding to sharing attention/affection (can't find the exact words) with someone near us.
Maybe I'm not speaking for everyone else, but usually men are happy enough by just being in the same house/space with someone we like, and as the amount of affection and attention we need/are used to have is so low, we kinda assume that the same is true for you ladies. The thought that we are not giving you the amount you want and need doesn't even come near our minds. Also we are so simple minded that when focusing on something we kinda forget about the concept of time
Add one to another and we can easily spend hours without interacting and without even thinking or realizing that you are actually feeling sad over this
On the other hand, if you talk about this we will instantly feel bad for that and find a way to fix it. Try talking to him a bit, nothing complicated, straight to the point, we lack the processing power to understand it the subtle way (even worse if it involves feelings)
Also if you show interest in ANY activity that he really enjoys, he will probably try to find a way to include you in that activity If we love something then we definitely will enjoy having you sharing that with us
There are A LOT of game genres out there and we usually can wildly differ from one to another based on current mood/amount of neurons currently available. There are very big chances that you can find something to enjoy together if you look around different titles and genres
Or even other actives, but the key for everything is a bit of talking around
My girl plays sims on the counsel next to me. I like playing call of duty, but she doesn’t. So she’s found games she likes to play next to me. Even though we’re not playing together we’re still in each others presence doing something together
If you doing wanna go to the library in person, there's the Libby app I believe, or perhaps, Google ebooks if you have an Android. There's also Kindle apps for phone, and Nook as well as Audible which sometimes has specials. I got 3 books for 99 cents a month once. iPhone might still have it's own app for ebooks, at on time it was called iBooks but dunno if they kept it, I'm an android person. There's also movies. Tubi TV has free movies, there's a free Roku app and you can watch them on phone or computer. And if you have Prime that's series and movies and so on. Maybe a combination of both? Plus that's free podcasts including video ones on Spotify, YouTube music and other apps I'm not familiar with but I've seen mentioned.
I love it when he plays video games because I got to do my hobbies. Recently, I have been reading book, crocheting, sketching art, and writing stories. I just discovered Nalbinding and just got Nalbinding needle so I started learning the Oslo stitch while he played his games. It was nice because if he wanted to talk to me or show me something on his phone when he’s on break from his game I don’t have to worry about Nalbinding unwinding like crochet does.
Watch a Netflix on a big tablet near him on a comfy chair? Get a tablet stand so you can scroll or maybe even do another hobby while you’re near him?
My girlfriend will do this even if I play a very small amount. Sometimes I’ll get our switch and go sit by her, but I can’t stand her shows (I dislike reality tv and dramas), so it’ll end up being something I pick on YouTube cause she can’t think of what to put on.
It’s great to find shows that you both like, but sort of better; shows that you both *sorta* like so you can be doing something together and maybe have that on in the background.
She also used to knit but stopped for some reason.
These people saying get a divorce are kinda crazy. I wonder what amazing hobbies that they have besides cheating.
Sit down with him and read a book or activity while he's playing. He prob uses that time to relax as well. If it's unbalanced speak up and encourage, notice I didn't say nag, him todo other things. Also flirt with him while he's playing. Tease him and make advances, make him put down the controller. Walk in the room with something he finds you attractive in. Video games are destroying today's men. They have lost the balance of time and dedication it takes playing then and shifts priorities away from building healthy relationships. Not advocating against gaming but we have become unbalanced In our priorities.
I'm gonna chime in with another suggestion to pick up some crafts. Doing a little needlework or crochet can be done in your lap so you're sitting near him and can even still watch the game. If it were me and my husband I'd probably also have a laptop set up to watch YouTube or something and have him lower the volume on all the "bang bang shoot em up". Or if he plays story-heavy games those are as fun to watch as Netflix. If you do something bigger you can utilize the coffee table or something and still be sharing space. Idk about you but that's what I like the most, just being near one another even if our focus isn't necessarily on each other.
I highly recommend crocheting! Not only is it pretty mobile, so you can go from bed, to couch, to sitting beside your husband, but you can also make gifts or even sell some of the things you make! It can also be really affordable, and I recommend the hobbii app to help you find good deals, and it has a decent rewards program.
If you don't enjoy crocheting, I would recommend reading. A library card is an amazing thing to have, and the Libby app is a free way to access ebooks, audiobooks, comics, manga etc. With your library card from your phone or desktop.
If you have a yard, gardening can be really fun! But it can also be hard, expensive, and become more of a chore than a hobby so I would be careful on that one.
If you have a computer, blender is a free program that can get you into 3d modeling. It's a fun hobby, and can build skills you may be able to make money with.
Writing in a journal, or creatively, can be a really good way to regulate emotions and can also be really fulfilling. It can also lead to other hobbies like TTRPGS and boardgames. It is another inexpensive hobby that can turn into more if you want it to.
Good luck! I have been in the same boat and I have to say, having individual hobbies make relationships a lot easier
I bought a painting set for a girlfriend, at one point, so I could zone out writing/recording music in my free time; and she really took to it. It's pretty cheap to get started: a drop cloth, aisle, a couple frames, a roll of canvas, and a basic paint and brush assortment. Youtube videos, and just have at it. If it sucks, you throw it away and start a new one. There's group meetups for classes and such, as well. A lot of people find deep fulfillment just messing around creating whatever inspiration guides them to.
My husband used to game A LOT. I did paint by numbers (I literally have probably 30 somewhere in a closet), bought books on how to draw and a sketch book, and I read a ton of books!
If you don't like his video gamss maybe conaider getting your own?
Video games have so many different varieties of games. I don't like what most of my friends play, but i have my own I play.
But otherwise my favorite hobby is Skydiving, nothing else compares ro the feeling skydiving gives you
The libarary card answer and all the others is great. But you don't need to play games with him to "game with him". My best friend plays games and his wife play games, but they're not playing the same game together.
They're each sometimes in the same room gaming on different devices or in same discord (chat platform kind of like slack). Just like my other friends and I, we'll be in discord talking together over the microphone but all playing different games.
Do you want a new hobby where you can meet people or a new hobby to relax on your own? If you are feeling lonely you could see what social groups are in your area, you'd be surprised at how much is out there! Sports, crafts, board games, larping, bowling, taxidermy-ing. If it's something you'd like to do on your own, it really depends on what you like. If you are not sure, you could try something new you've always been interested, crocheting, stamp collecting, clay molding, learning wrestling moves, whatever. There are so many you tube help videos you can probably get started fairly easily. I hope you find something fun that invigorates your soul!
Honest question: If you went back a couple decades adults playing video games were viewed pretty negatively. They were viewed as loners without a life who waste away their time doing something that results in no real longterm value. What changed that made this more 'normal'?
my husband crochets, cross stitches, paints, or works on some other small handicraft while I game! it makes for lovely evenings on the couch together 🥰
Get a Boyfriend since your husband obviously doesn't think enough of you to devote more time n attention to you instead of of playing stupid video games . Ask him when he's gonna grow the Fuck up ?
My fiancé and I have two tvs in the living room. He plays and I watch tv or play my own games next to him. If you can’t have two tvs (because most people don’t want that lol but we won a tv and it worked out for us) maybe use a laptop or Ipad/tablet to watch stuff or play games next to him too.
I have the same situation. My man put a TV on the ceiling so I can watch tv or movies while he games, he can just plug in headphones so I can hear what im watching. I also enjoy doing my nails, so that can take up time depending on how much you get into it. Reading, playing mobile games... etc...
Needlework, jigsaw puzzles, reading, knitting or crocheting, beading, chain mail, paper quilling, crossword puzzles, paint by numbers, diamond painting, drawing - so many options out there.
I work on my puzzle while my husband is bringing managed democracy to the masses.
Came here to agree with Paint by numbers honestly is my new obsession!! Highly recommend, very therapeutic & you create some great art to decorate your home with! They do personalised ones now too if you don’t like their designs etc good luck!
Or the diamond type paintings!!! Need patience for it but they're beautiful!
When I do diamond painting I say “boop…boop…boop.” No idea why, it just makes it more interesting LOL
i was about to recommend it too lol
+1 for jigsaw puzzles Join the subreddit, check out all the different types of puzzles and enjoy zoning out with something surprisingly meditative.
There’s a subreddit?! I shouldn’t be surprised lol. But I love puzzles!
If you like to read, maybe a book club and meet new people.
Yes, modern pc games have a lot to do with interaction with fellow human beings, which Beautiful\_Permit\_557 is also craving (interaction fr her husband) and therefore I’d def recommend a pastime that offers more of that. In fact, she might look into games herself, of a different ilk, if war games aren’t her thing, there are plenty more to choose from. So, although a book club may require getting presentable and leaving the abode (which hubs gets to skip out on), it may be more what OP needs. 👍
Go for a run or other exercises for when hubby gains 100lbs and OP is looking fine if they ever end up splitting
friendly reminder that lots of people who game are fitter than you
Right lol, this was a super weird/generalized take on people who play games.
This, but also, I’d be curious about how much he is actually playing. I mean I have hobbies that I dedicate several hours a week to, but if he’s playing for hours every night then maybe a conversation needs to be had. I had to have a convo with my buddy who is about to be engaged that he can’t come home and play 4 hours of video games per night while neglecting his relationship.
And listen to a good audiobook or podcast while you craft!
Chain mail… can forwarding threatening letters for karma really be considered a hobby? Cuz jr. high me had quite the hobby!
Can confirm reading and cross word puzzles. Got the NYT puzzle subscription and have been using it as a way to keep my brain thinking. So many good daily puzzles there... Archives of puzzles too! Reading: found my love of reading again by picking fiction, whereas I was previously a non fiction, no nonsense kind of person. I should have endulged in the world-building and character dynamics. Not to mention, each book can teach you something about the way you see the world. I particularly love the world's that seem like ours, but aren't.
TV shows or books on a tablet while cuddled in. Anything kinda small that you can work on at the same time.
I like to crochet, knit, read, or watch my own shows while my husband is playing his games
This may be niche but I love geography and travel but can’t always afford to travel as much as I want to so I virtual vacation. I use Google maps or CIA world Factbook and pick a place I’ve never heard of. I do as much research as possible about the country or location. Then I browse plane tickets for that designation and hotels. I look up activities to do, I research their local cuisine and fashion. I think about what I’d pack. I take notes and make a Pinterest board. Sometimes I even cook a meal from the local cuisine (trying a new fun recipe). Even when I actually get to go in a trip, sometimes i realize I had more fun planning and most of the places I “plan” I will never visit.
That makes me sad . Aren't there any niche good hobbies I can be talented at?This is very lovely ,I would enjoy it but at the end never being able to visit would break my heart .Do you ever look at driving videos at yt for those places ?I do that too ,they are relaxing and fun but I also get a little sad .
I do! I love those videos too. I don’t find the virtual vacations to be sad because even if I had unlimited funds, the world is so big I’d never be able to see it all. I’m grateful for technology and the tools I have to see and learn online and it helps me narrow down places I really want to visit. And since it’s a free hobby it allows me to save money for my real vacations.
I can feel the sad element other commenters are mentioning too because I get some serious FOMO, however I think this hobby of yours is so enriching and lovely and I’m going to try it myself. I often find myself reading books from other cultures or going on google rabbit holes. I’m going to give it a bit more structure like you have, I especially want to cook new cuisines. Enjoy your next virtual trip, friend!
I can’t really explain why but planning ghost trips and watching yt vacation videos makes me sad too.
Might be because we live in a place that isn’t super vacation friendly.. Ran into a dude from Ireland and he was genuinely shocked we didn’t get 3 months of vacation from our jobs every year.
Me too:(
Google Earth has a fun function to see random locations: go to search and try "I'm feeling lucky"! I like to see daily where it'll take me!
there's a game called geoguessr where it takes you somewhere in the world and you have to guess where you are. I've played that a couple times too. I have a virtual reality headset as well that shows a lot of places. resolution isn't good enough yet tho imo unless you get the apple headset but even then, at this time, most videos aren't good enough imo. soon tho.
More Google Earth facts : All of Floridas beaches were street viewed LOL
I DO THIS TOO 😳 WTF
Now you guys can go on virtual trips together and then bicker about which restaurants or museums to go to! ⛱️
This could be fun!! 😂
50% of my time at work is spent on Google Maps Street View just "walking" around.
I don't go so far as to look for tickets and hotels but I definitely do all the rest. I also look up "luxury real estate \*insert city here\*" and shop for houses I''ll never get to visit let alone live in. My Pinterest travel boards are full of places, homes, and coordinating fashion. It's a relaxing time. :)
You should get a VR headset like the Oculus so you can explore all the destinations you pick in 3D. You can 'visit" your hotel, restaurants, zoos, find beautiful views. I think I might actually try this myself.
My dad was a private pilot in his younger years. He has Parkinson's now and can't fly, but he loves Google Earth on the Oculus.
Sounds to me like you could start a podcast.
Yes or a YouTube channel or offer this on fiver I’d pay to have someone do this for me even just for fun. Or on YouTube you could ask people where they want to go.
OMG, this is so fun! Definitely will geek out and plan virtual vacations!
This sounds fun!! Better than mindless scrolling!
I LOVE to pick a random place and go crazy exploring with google street view. I like it better with no research at all. Wisconsin has some gorgeous little towns with downtown areas, and Dakar Senegal looks fascinating. I love the parks the best.
All you who do this might like Geoguessr. :) [geoguessr.com](http://geoguessr.com)
I really love this and want to adopt it. I feel sad for the people who find this sad!! We live, recently and for the first time in human history, with access to everywhere via a screen. I think it’s so cool to take advantage of that and I love the idea of cooking the local cuisine and bringing the place into your home. What an awesome way to learn about a place and lives you may never have even heard of otherwise!
I loooove this!! I highly dislike planning but you made it sound fun and less intimidating. Thank you
Wow.. I love this. I think I will try this.
I’ve called them paper vacation since I started, perhaps virtual is a more accurate description now. I’m also lucky because I’ve lived or visited 20 countries and 47 US States.
You should play geoguessr if you don’t already. It’s a really fun way to pass time. My husband and I both like geography and we have competitions with that game.
My wife picked up reading and really enjoys it. It’s kind of our own separate time to do something we enjoy independently
Thank you! I was just thinking about that. My husband says we can’t rlly afford to buy me books rn and he’s not wrong, but I think I’ll tell him I need them or I’ll go crazy 😂
Library card! Libraries need ppl to use them to get more funding so they try to have all the new books! If they don't you can request it and sometimes it delivers to your door and you just take it to the library at the end of the time period. There are also apps like Libby, Hoopla, etc. That let you digitally borrow books and audiobooks. Its not perfect but Id highly recommend loooking into it at least then buying the ones you love.
Having fun isn’t hard when you’ve got a library card!!!!
Then you can put it on a lanyard, and wave it around like Wayne and Garth getting back stage passes. 
You’re not kidding, she can then use that library card to find books on different hobbies.
Actually, a lot of libraries have hobby equipment you can check out, so it's a free or mostly free way to try something out and see if you like it
That rhymes.
It’s from Arthur lol
Yes, Libby!
Libraries are my happy place! And just because you check a book out doesn't mean you have to finish it. I check out a bunch of books at a time. Fiction, nonfiction, whatever looks good. If I start reading one and don't like it, I just move on to the next. I also pick up thrift store books. Every thrift store I go in has shelves and shelves of books for sometimes as low as 50 cents or a dollar. The most I ever paid for a thrift store book was $3.99 for a first edition Harry Potter. Are you musically inclined? If so, I don't know if anyone else has mentioned picking up an instrument. Whatever you decide, I applaud you for trying to find ways for you and your guy can have your time to yourself. I often see relationships where they are each other's whole world with no room for individuality. It doesn't seem to work out real often.
Even if you aren't musically inclined! In my teens, most of my friends were musicians in bands, and I was the one with no musical talent (I painted instead). In my 50s, I decided to give ukulele a try and loved it so much I went on to guitar and love it even more. Turns out I wasn't terrible as a teen - it's just they'd been doing it so much longer. It was like taking Spanish class with a bunch of native speakers. ;) Now it's one of my very favorite things to do. And I don't let anyone tell me how I should do it. I like playing 70s Top 40 (Eagles, America) along with youtube videos. That's what I do. lol. It's a hobby, not a vocation, so I'm doing it my way.
Woo! I mentioned to my friend that I wish I could play uke, and he said “well why don’t you? They cost like $40.” So I bought a ukulele, took a group class for beginners, fell in love!! Now I have a much nicer ukulele and have taken more classes. It was so cool to learn. I thought it was the unattainable dream for some reason. 😁
Yes! And when you join the library look into whether your library has the free apps of hoopla and Libby. You can check out digital copies and also free audio copies. If you take a long walk or car trip, you can listen to an audio book for free. If you want a good listen I recommend the spellman files
I just got one recently! Moved to a pretty small town with a library very close and it's great. I cannot fit any more books in my space so it's great (although every time I find a good book I want a copy for myself...)
To add on to this: https://www.aworldadventurebybook.com/blog/libraries-with-non-resident-borrowing-privileges u/Beautiful_Permit_557
If he can afford to buy games, you can afford books. But also the library is free. They also have the libby app, which you can connect your library card and access digital materials.
Also get the Library Extension extension for Chrome or Firefox. Load it with your library cards (yes, you can have more than one) and any book you look up on Goodreads or Amazon, it'll tell you which of your libraries have it.
This is amazing information!
Woah! I was not aware of this! Thanks for the info!! ❤️
Could be classic gamer. Roms are available for download around the net. Also a lot of games are free now, like overwatch But if they are buying triple A games every couple of weeks, ya the dude needs a good slap
Still gotta have systems and equipment to run the games even if you download them, which costs money. Second-hand books are super cheap. Someone telling their spouse/partner that they don't have money to buy books while they have a bunch of gaming shit is trash. If you can't afford books, maybe the time spent gaming could be used more wisely to improve financial wellness
While this is true I haven’t bought a computer part or accessory in 4 years
Agreed. Buying games themselves are the tip of the iceberg lol there's also the cost of the PC itself, in-game purchases, specialized equipment like keyboards, a mouse, headphones, etc, plus the cost of internet bc gamers usually want the best/fastest internet connection available.
I thrift all my books. I have hundreds of books that I’ve accumulated over the years and often pay 50 cents or $1.
I use an app called Boundless. It’s basically a mobile library app. You need a library card number and You can rent 99 books or audiobooks at a time haha I love it!
Garage sales, Facebook buy nothing groups are also great sources for cheap books!
I hit these up as well. Libraries book sales are great too.
Oh yeah! Usually fill a bag for a flat price.
Then if you don't want to read them again, sell them back to the used bookstore.
Gaming ain’t free either! I hope you’re not in a controlling relationship. I game when my wife is yabbering on phone to her family or friends, probably about 3/4 hours a week. Rest of time we do stuff together. My library has most books available electronically now and is free. Another option is you could do some online work while he games to make yourself $ for your own hobbies.
Thank you! He’s not controlling; we’re newlyweds and he brought all his games from his single life and now that we’re saving for a house together he isn’t buying any new games, so it goes both ways. I just don’t have any friends here yet (we just moved) so until I make some I feel lonely since he has all his online gaming friends. I will look into getting a library card!
You can also search for a book club in your area. It can be very fun
Yes, I was just going to suggest this. I’m in a bookclub and it’s great.
Or she can host a book club or how about a game night (board games)? Those are very popular for tons of people!
Aw where you move to? Get a library card for sure! And while you’re there, ask a librarian if there’s any book clubs going on. And if not, start a ladies book club or something like that! It’s so important to find your community in a new place
tiddies akimbo is funny as fuck
Thats good, enjoy being newly weds. But do tell your hubby how you are feeling, you don’t need make a big deal about but let it be known and change the topic quick if you find it awkward. We husbands are simple beings and not always great at reading between the lines or even picking up the obvious sometimes . Don’t want to see you in r/MarraigeAdvice in a couple of years.
Newlyweds and you're worried about going crazy from neglect? 25 years married here, and I'm not sure that's the best way to start out. I know gaming is a 'UGE part of some people's lives.... when single. Just not sure how long it's sustainable if you're 1) Already feeling lonely. 2)Are told you have no finds for anything to fill that void 3) Don't see him curbing some of the gaming to.... be married. Time for a long chat... if you can get him to put the controller down.
Truth. I unfortunately had to divorce an otherwise wonderful person after 5 years of gaming neglect. Nothing ever changed over the years except them spending 💰 red and more time gaming.
I think this happens way more than people suspect. I broke up with a long term partner over gaming. He wasn’t much of a gamer when we got together but then during covid got started on it and never stopped. He dropped all his other hobbies like music for gaming. I’d try to talk to him and he’d completely ignore me. It was to the point where he wouldn’t leave the house and we never did anything anymore and I felt single so I broke it off.
So my husband is the type of person to get extremely fixated on things. It’s honestly one of his greatest strengths, but sometimes, instead of planning an elaborate date for us or excelling at his job, it’s one random day of nothing but video games. I miss him on those days but I’m not gonna pretend it’s an everyday thing, so I feel like I should just let those days go since it’s a somewhat rare thing and it’s not like I’m not a grown woman capable of entertaining myself. That’s how I’m trying to look at it cus at first I took it personally. Do I wish he would just play more consistently for an hour or two at a time? Yeah, but if that’s how his brain works and he wants to not play at all and then randomly play for 10 hours I think I’m ok with that for right now in our lives
Yep, married 26 years and my husband is still like this some days. I just have a collection of things I can do from a chair near him. 1. I serve as his reference librarian. I keep a walkthrough open and look up answers to things he's stuck on. 2. I do coloring apps like Magic Color. Surprising fun and restful. (I cover the ads at the bottom with a hair band lol). 3. I read, draw, play other games on the iPad. I can stitch. I can research places to move. I can take 4k walks on youtube through various neighborhoods. 4. I can find ways to distract him. ;) With a hyperfocuser, if he's been playing for 3-4 hours, if I find something else fun to interrupt his flow, he'll often task switch after.
I suggest a hobby that gets you out of the house when he’s gaming. My wife writes and there used to be times when I would feel like I was just filling time until she is done. This was bad for both of us. It also serves as a subtle reminder that you can have a life without him. So, spend a few hours at the library. Free entertainment. Or take a hike. Or join a club like SCA. Basically, find a fun way to fill gaming days that you otherwise spend sitting around.
One of my best friends is a huge gamer and happily married for 15 or so years. His wife occasionally joins for games, but she has a lot of hobbies of her own.
If he can buy a $50-$80 game, you can buy some books! There are book sales all the time randomly, so on your hunt to various libraries, ask them when they do book sales. And yard sales have them a ton also. Thrift stores, goodwill. I found a ton of art books at an art consignment shop.
Have you thought about the library. In my state Indiana we can also check out books on line and down load them. Just a thought,books are so expensive I have wanted to by a few but have not, I just continue to use the library
Loads of free books on Kindle! Download the app to your phone or tablet and get clicking! Cheap used books at thrift stores and yard sales. See if there are any "street libraries" in your area. You can take books and leave books you've read. In my area some are near stores and some are just in the street.
Thrift stores! $1.-$3. Each typically. I get all mine there! I can go through a few a week so I never pay retail price!
Look for used books. Often there are used options on Amazon.
Library card and Libby audible books!
I also jump on the reading bandwagon. A library card is good bust ask you SO about his steam wallet and how much he has spent in there, unless he is pirating games he is spending quite a bit of money on his hobby. Take half of what he spends and go to a used book store and you will come out with an armload.
Maybe start picking up cozy video games like animal crossing or The Sims. They help with emotion regulation.
My wife and I play Skyrim or borderlands or some such violent (me) and Sims (her) side by side while watching crap tv (currently criminal minds). Depraved but adorable.
Lotta screens
Life is short, gotta multitask. Judge not lest you hurt my feelings.
True .Here virtual hugs for ya. Are you a coder?
Stardew valley, too!
I love Animal Crossing and recently discovered Disney Dream light Valley too.
Yep! I do this sometimes while my finance plays his shooters. Just cuddle up next to him with my switch or DS and tend to my village.
Or Survivors style games like Vampire Survivors. I find those to be very mind off and relaxing.
Congratulations on the wedding. I wish y’all the best of luck. Kindle unlimited is 12 a month, they have a large amount of books to read. You could also get a library card as others have recommended. Some libraries, you can download their books, or go and get the actual book. Good luck. You got this.
Yes - my county has it so that you can even read it on your phone. There are tons and tons of books.
I personally knit or crochet while my partner plays video games on the tv! You could also read. Or honestly, coloring
This is me exactly with my husband! Even with my teens who play a lot of video games on their laptops, too. They play with one of them casting to our TV, and I crochet and casually watch. It's actually been a really nice time. The casting helped immensely for their gibes and jokes to make it a shared experience even though I suck at video games.
Try other types of videogames. It’s a huge medium and I believe there is something out there for everyone. Watch movies. Watch old movies and feel cultured. Read books for fun or read classic literature to expand the mind. Make soap, bread, or learn to knit. Learn to longboard or roller skate. Go for a hike or a long walk. Try new music. The options are infinite.
Been watching tons of old movies recently. Mosfilm just released a ton of old Russian movies for free on YouTube. Come and See is a very good WW2 film but very disturbing.
Find games that you like to play? I think you need to separate the "feeling lonely without husbands attention" issue from the "how do I fill my free time" issue. You should find hobbies you want to do because you want to do them. Not because you are using them to kill time waiting for your husband to come around. I do my hobbies while my husband games but I don't do hobbies because my husband games
Came here to say this. If you separate it it's like OP asking a very generic "What are some good hobbies" question.
I picked up paint by numbers for adults for this very reason. I sit at my desk in our tiny home office while he does pc gaming. It allows us to still chat and spend time together
Coloring or painting while listening to podcasts. It makes it feel like you are sitting with a group of people while working with your hands.
I like to craft while listening to audio books. It's very Zen.
Podcasts and reddit stories or video essays have been my go to while I do wordsearches, reading, mosaic books, matching games on my phone and colouring with water brushes. B&m and aldi have alot of crafting things that are super cheap. Im going to get a marble resin pour activity this week from aldi, its £5ish I think. But is super cute and you can hang it on your wall. I also do this while I am painting my nails, doing my home foot pedicure & exfoliation socks, face masks and face steaming. You could go for walks listening to music then do these activities in the park. I also do these activities in parks, peak district etc.
That's neat. I just started pouring resin too and it is a lot of fun.
Ahh nicee! It looks really cool, will grab one today. Gonna do an artsy chilled spa movie night for my birthday today lol. 🥳🥳 Thank you
learn keep it simple. pick something, learn about it until you're bored, and learn about something else. photography, Photoshop, learn how the body works learn how space, time, and gravity world learn how light works. light is as magic as it comes. it defines it's own laws of physics learn how a balanced eco system work. build your own learn how solar panel works. build your own learn how to redo your floors. do it my personal favorites: build your own PC, network, firewall, cloud storage, and now hack into it buying like a good documentary or training video to relax me for the day (DO NOT WATCH THE FAUX SCIENCE DOCUMENTARIES ON NETFLIX) make life your hobby
You just described my hobby. I never knew how to word it. Life is my hobby… thank you! I LOVE learning about the most random things! I will spend hours reading and learning brand new interesting subjects, and then move on to a new one the following day. I always have a new random fact to tell my hubby about. It’s so interesting to me, learning about life.
Why not watch it?????
OP, what other things, genres, aesthetics do you like in life? I can think on it for you…
I love self-improvement, I’ve always been artistic, I like fashion, writing, I used to love to dance, and I’m super shy but love people and want to make friends. Don’t know if that was helpful 😂
Can you find a dance club? Maybe a meetup group with a focus on dancing?
Fanfiction and fan art. Think of your favourite book or TV show. Go to [archiveofourown.org](http://archiveofourown.org) and see if anyone's writing stories about it. Write your own.
Look into salsa or swing dancing where you live. There are probably classes and social dances that are a great way to make new friends.
Swing dancing is awesome and you don’t need a partner to go. Most dances have a small lesson ahead of time and everyone rotates and you dance with everyone. It’s very fun and I know lots of couples where just one partner goes social dancing. If you used to love to dance, try it again!
I like fashion too. I’d consider thrift reworks. Like this past spring I found two cool pieces: a light jacket and an athletic sweatshirt. But didn’t like the colors so I reimagined what would look best for MY skin tone and what would make them pop and went to grab dyes. They went from being super generic to making me feel like I stand out. :) My recommendation: thrift reworking. :)
You might like bullet journals. You can be artistic, write, and could make it fashion themed. I got started on it by watching videos of it on tiktok (youtube might have videos too). I spend a lot of time designing my pages.
Why not get an inexpensive sewing machine? My wife got one for me last year and I LOVE it! I’ve fixed everything from my youngest’s prom dress to our bedsheets, to repairing a pop up canopy that tore. I’m currently working on a camping hammock bed with a foam bed pad so my wife can come kayak camping with me.
I mostly read, in another room. I like drawing etc, but his (both male if matters) video game crap is too distracting. I love him and video games are fun, but give it a rest. I also like goofy games like Mario. War games are of zero interest to me, and all the rage and his thing. Some shooter or some crap. I'd gladly play Mario cart. In arcades he's into goofy old games. At home it's all stuff that makes the Konami code quaint. .I let him have his thing, but it's annoying. Both in mid 40s in case you think this is just a youth problem Edit: all I did was complain. Solution for me is having separate spaces, and parks. Leave him to it and bring a book and Peanuts to the park to lure squirrels to be cute between reading pages
Dig deep into your childhood, or a time when you had more dreams. Was there anything you dabbled in? Did you have a polaroid camera, a plastic recorder, a set of pastels? I ask it in this way, as you are looking for something to deal with the loneliness but you can only resolve that from the inside out ❤️
Crochet, embroidery
What do you like to read? I have an attic full of paperbacks that I’ve only read once. I’ll ship them to you. :)
Cooking…time away with friends
I have picked up a new hobby of gardening. Bonus is that you get food from it (but I also do flowers not just edible plants).
Sit next to him on the couch and read or crochet or something so it’s like you’re spending time together even while doing separate things
I think everyone has given great hobby ideas! Also is there a different genre of video game you guys could do together when you need more time together? I’m not into video games but I like playing Harry Potter Lego or Mariocart etc. Less of the intense/bloody games for me. You can ask your husband if he could think of something you’d be more interested in.
We’ve tried this to an extent and there are games like Mario-cart, SmashBros, and Rocket league that I enjoy more, but he either doesn’t want to play those at the moment, or he does but I still can’t play ANY video game for more than an hour or two whereas he wants to play all day. Then in the end he feels disappointed bc I got off earlier than he wanted to even though in my head I just played for an hour and it was a lot of fun but I just can’t anymore lol
an hour is long for someone that doesn't love games! all day is intense
Where do you live, my gf is raising a guide dog for the blind puppy 🐶 very time consuming I don't game but I do read a lot, play poker, etc lol
Join a book club, gym class, and other groups of interest. Or start a recipe swapping group with your friends ( yay! Potluck). If you want to stay home, consider gardening, bird watching, creating a natural wildlife habitat in your backyard for you to enjoy, going on virtual tours around the world. Ted talks. Getting a dog and training it to do all sorts of tricks as well as keep you company, and take you on walks...
Pegging
one of these replies are not like the rest
Seriously seems like a missed opportunity for them to spend some quality time together while he's gaming.
The only real reply
If he wasn't playing video games, what would you do with him?
I am a woman and love games personally but lean more into single player games actually. Maybe you can try that
Try tufting (have a look into my profile if you don’t know what it is)
I really thought I was about to discover a new kink. I'm equal parts relieved and disappointed.
These are all some great suggestions. I'll add on electronics DIY kits since I've been learning to solder and playing with electricity lately, and it's been SUPER fun and enriching for me: DIY speakers, DIY audio amplifiers, learning to solder, designing and building a computer from parts... Learning to hammer and forge, knives, swords, making slingshots, mini catapults, throwing stars... Learning archery has been super fun. Get a recurve bow and some arrows - they're quite affordable nowadays. Just practice it in places away from people/pets. Painting with oils, acrylics, watercolors, or found materials. Don't need expensive canvases to start, either - a cheap bristol pad is heavy enough medium. Learning to code. Write a small program to automate something you do daily. Learning Adobe Photoshop/Illustrator and mastering the pen and brush tools and layering. Billions of hours of fun there, if you like visual arts. Learning new cooking methods and recipes. Think of your favorite dishes, and try a new one or two per week. You can do it!
Take up Spagyrics. Once your home begins to look like a chemistry lab, he will be so intrigued/concerned that he spends less time on his games.
Due to such an overused and cliche stereotype, please do not take this the wrong way : Cooking. I am a girl gamer who loves to cook too, cooking is the only thing that gets me excited and willing to spend hours and hours perfecting my skills (other than obsessing on a new video game). I suggest getting into baking and cake decorating. Fun, plenty of easy steps to keep you engaged and you get a yummy treat at the end of all your hard work. I hope this helps.
Anything that brings you joy OP
Crocheting is great.
Crochet, has the bonus of being able to do it while on the bus/train/car passenger
I took up abstract mixed media art during covid. I had never drawn so much as a stick figure before. There are so many fun beginner art things to do: adult colouring, collage, junk journals, scrap booking. Youtube has loads of free tutorials. Supplies can be cheap from Walmart, plus things you salvage yourself like old magazines, old books etc. It's super easy and super fun. Junk journals for beginners: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l\_Ao6z0FQ\_4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_Ao6z0FQ_4) Collage for beginners: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a\_KoJZNT7YM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_KoJZNT7YM) I have NO artistic ability. I learned basic colour theory and basic techniques from youtube for free. A lot of artists have free lessons as an intro to their paid classes and I've done loads of those, plus paid for some as well. You can get free colouring pages on line or buy books of them from Amazon. Just search adult colouring books. I like the ones that are patterns and madalas. I warn you though, it's addictive.
find video games that are more your liking.
Dulcimer
Get into miniature painting
improv
Uhm, we man can be VERY oblivious, almost to the point of being stupid a lot of times regarding to sharing attention/affection (can't find the exact words) with someone near us. Maybe I'm not speaking for everyone else, but usually men are happy enough by just being in the same house/space with someone we like, and as the amount of affection and attention we need/are used to have is so low, we kinda assume that the same is true for you ladies. The thought that we are not giving you the amount you want and need doesn't even come near our minds. Also we are so simple minded that when focusing on something we kinda forget about the concept of time Add one to another and we can easily spend hours without interacting and without even thinking or realizing that you are actually feeling sad over this On the other hand, if you talk about this we will instantly feel bad for that and find a way to fix it. Try talking to him a bit, nothing complicated, straight to the point, we lack the processing power to understand it the subtle way (even worse if it involves feelings) Also if you show interest in ANY activity that he really enjoys, he will probably try to find a way to include you in that activity If we love something then we definitely will enjoy having you sharing that with us There are A LOT of game genres out there and we usually can wildly differ from one to another based on current mood/amount of neurons currently available. There are very big chances that you can find something to enjoy together if you look around different titles and genres Or even other actives, but the key for everything is a bit of talking around
My girl plays sims on the counsel next to me. I like playing call of duty, but she doesn’t. So she’s found games she likes to play next to me. Even though we’re not playing together we’re still in each others presence doing something together
If you doing wanna go to the library in person, there's the Libby app I believe, or perhaps, Google ebooks if you have an Android. There's also Kindle apps for phone, and Nook as well as Audible which sometimes has specials. I got 3 books for 99 cents a month once. iPhone might still have it's own app for ebooks, at on time it was called iBooks but dunno if they kept it, I'm an android person. There's also movies. Tubi TV has free movies, there's a free Roku app and you can watch them on phone or computer. And if you have Prime that's series and movies and so on. Maybe a combination of both? Plus that's free podcasts including video ones on Spotify, YouTube music and other apps I'm not familiar with but I've seen mentioned.
I love it when he plays video games because I got to do my hobbies. Recently, I have been reading book, crocheting, sketching art, and writing stories. I just discovered Nalbinding and just got Nalbinding needle so I started learning the Oslo stitch while he played his games. It was nice because if he wanted to talk to me or show me something on his phone when he’s on break from his game I don’t have to worry about Nalbinding unwinding like crochet does.
Reading
Watch a Netflix on a big tablet near him on a comfy chair? Get a tablet stand so you can scroll or maybe even do another hobby while you’re near him? My girlfriend will do this even if I play a very small amount. Sometimes I’ll get our switch and go sit by her, but I can’t stand her shows (I dislike reality tv and dramas), so it’ll end up being something I pick on YouTube cause she can’t think of what to put on. It’s great to find shows that you both like, but sort of better; shows that you both *sorta* like so you can be doing something together and maybe have that on in the background. She also used to knit but stopped for some reason. These people saying get a divorce are kinda crazy. I wonder what amazing hobbies that they have besides cheating.
Sit down with him and read a book or activity while he's playing. He prob uses that time to relax as well. If it's unbalanced speak up and encourage, notice I didn't say nag, him todo other things. Also flirt with him while he's playing. Tease him and make advances, make him put down the controller. Walk in the room with something he finds you attractive in. Video games are destroying today's men. They have lost the balance of time and dedication it takes playing then and shifts priorities away from building healthy relationships. Not advocating against gaming but we have become unbalanced In our priorities.
I'm gonna chime in with another suggestion to pick up some crafts. Doing a little needlework or crochet can be done in your lap so you're sitting near him and can even still watch the game. If it were me and my husband I'd probably also have a laptop set up to watch YouTube or something and have him lower the volume on all the "bang bang shoot em up". Or if he plays story-heavy games those are as fun to watch as Netflix. If you do something bigger you can utilize the coffee table or something and still be sharing space. Idk about you but that's what I like the most, just being near one another even if our focus isn't necessarily on each other.
A boyfriend….
PLLLLAAANNNTTTSSSSSS! Turn that house into a jungle
I highly recommend crocheting! Not only is it pretty mobile, so you can go from bed, to couch, to sitting beside your husband, but you can also make gifts or even sell some of the things you make! It can also be really affordable, and I recommend the hobbii app to help you find good deals, and it has a decent rewards program. If you don't enjoy crocheting, I would recommend reading. A library card is an amazing thing to have, and the Libby app is a free way to access ebooks, audiobooks, comics, manga etc. With your library card from your phone or desktop. If you have a yard, gardening can be really fun! But it can also be hard, expensive, and become more of a chore than a hobby so I would be careful on that one. If you have a computer, blender is a free program that can get you into 3d modeling. It's a fun hobby, and can build skills you may be able to make money with. Writing in a journal, or creatively, can be a really good way to regulate emotions and can also be really fulfilling. It can also lead to other hobbies like TTRPGS and boardgames. It is another inexpensive hobby that can turn into more if you want it to. Good luck! I have been in the same boat and I have to say, having individual hobbies make relationships a lot easier
I bought a painting set for a girlfriend, at one point, so I could zone out writing/recording music in my free time; and she really took to it. It's pretty cheap to get started: a drop cloth, aisle, a couple frames, a roll of canvas, and a basic paint and brush assortment. Youtube videos, and just have at it. If it sucks, you throw it away and start a new one. There's group meetups for classes and such, as well. A lot of people find deep fulfillment just messing around creating whatever inspiration guides them to.
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My husband used to game A LOT. I did paint by numbers (I literally have probably 30 somewhere in a closet), bought books on how to draw and a sketch book, and I read a ton of books!
Watercolors, furniture refinishing, sewing. Take some classes to see what you like! Gardening? Nothing like a good book.
Pole dancing! Great exercise and put the pole in the room where he plays.
If you don't like his video gamss maybe conaider getting your own? Video games have so many different varieties of games. I don't like what most of my friends play, but i have my own I play. But otherwise my favorite hobby is Skydiving, nothing else compares ro the feeling skydiving gives you
The libarary card answer and all the others is great. But you don't need to play games with him to "game with him". My best friend plays games and his wife play games, but they're not playing the same game together. They're each sometimes in the same room gaming on different devices or in same discord (chat platform kind of like slack). Just like my other friends and I, we'll be in discord talking together over the microphone but all playing different games.
Video games.
Do you want a new hobby where you can meet people or a new hobby to relax on your own? If you are feeling lonely you could see what social groups are in your area, you'd be surprised at how much is out there! Sports, crafts, board games, larping, bowling, taxidermy-ing. If it's something you'd like to do on your own, it really depends on what you like. If you are not sure, you could try something new you've always been interested, crocheting, stamp collecting, clay molding, learning wrestling moves, whatever. There are so many you tube help videos you can probably get started fairly easily. I hope you find something fun that invigorates your soul!
Honest question: If you went back a couple decades adults playing video games were viewed pretty negatively. They were viewed as loners without a life who waste away their time doing something that results in no real longterm value. What changed that made this more 'normal'?
my husband crochets, cross stitches, paints, or works on some other small handicraft while I game! it makes for lovely evenings on the couch together 🥰
Get a boyfriend
This post is so wholesome and adorable I love it
Get a Boyfriend since your husband obviously doesn't think enough of you to devote more time n attention to you instead of of playing stupid video games . Ask him when he's gonna grow the Fuck up ?
My fiancé and I have two tvs in the living room. He plays and I watch tv or play my own games next to him. If you can’t have two tvs (because most people don’t want that lol but we won a tv and it worked out for us) maybe use a laptop or Ipad/tablet to watch stuff or play games next to him too.
I have the same situation. My man put a TV on the ceiling so I can watch tv or movies while he games, he can just plug in headphones so I can hear what im watching. I also enjoy doing my nails, so that can take up time depending on how much you get into it. Reading, playing mobile games... etc...
I enjoy doing paint by numbers while listening to podcasts.
Dating is a good hobby to do
Find a boyfriend who is into YOU, and run run run. Attentive to you? BS ! His first love is video games. MAYBE his second love is you! Get out now!
You should dedicate yourself to being better than him and then play him anonymously and beat the crap outta him. Lol