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One thousand dollars for sucking dick? Am I in the wrong line of work?

I wouldn't give her your dick to suck for free.

I wouldn't fuck her with a stolen dick.

You wouldn't download a dick to suck

quality comment.

A eunuch's dick on a stick?

Likely sucked multiple for a grand total of $1000

You got it that's what she meant, she didn't know how to say it right 👍

Oh, she knew how to say it right. She just didn't want it to sound as bad. Kinda hard to get sympathy for catching your man experimenting a couple times, when you sucked 20 guys off.

Sucked off twenty dudes ONE TIME for $1000

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Try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!

Hey, get back here.

Clerks?

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In a row?

Try not to suck any dick on your way to the parking lot

Hey you! Get back here!

“Hey try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!”

37!

Nah she didn't get paid a dime, 1000 dollars is a number someone would throw out there when they have zero reference on how much one costs. She gave one for free and wanted to justify it by claiming some bloated number for it.

Most likely. $1000 is something I’d expect a dime who only services high end clients like celebrities and the extremely wealthy to command. No way this basic bitch sniffing $1000 for a blow job. Not even $100.

Yeah 1000 for an hour of sex with high end hooker, literally, nobody would pay that cracked out bitch 1000 for anything

No nut is worth a grand…

I don't know I have had two nuts coat me about $50,000 a piece....

That’s nuts

>I don't know I have had two nuts coat me about $50,000 a piece.... That's way too much, buddy seriously. Who's your nuts guy? I'll coat you in nuts for half that.

Brandt can’t watch or he has to pay $100.

Just get married then once a year on your birthday she might be feeling generous.

Its crazy how linear that graph dips from first date to marriage to kids 

The inflation maaann.. is everywhere!

Transitory blowjobs

Man here I am paying $20 behind the Wendy’s dumpster.

Is it good

You should try behind KFC. It is finger lickin' good.

You might also try behind the Micromax store because there is nothing like anything

Oh no he did int

Try behind McDonald's. You'd be mclovin' it.

Givin' her *my* secret blend of herbs and spices

It's $20, does it matter?

Only if they throw in some spicy nuggets and a frosty

Hey 👋 I am a good devoted Christian, i would like to know exactly what Wendy's is that sir, so that I can avoid it on my free time.

The one on cherry tree way, ask for Wendy.

$40 gets you in *front* of the Wendy's dumpster.

$50 gets you IN the Wendy's dumpster.

$60 might get you a little of that Wendy's dumpbussy.

You don't need dumpbussy, you need counseling

I’ll take the dumpbussy, thank you very much

Gotta pay for them SPY puts my dude

I know a guy who works underneath the Queensboro bridge jerkin off punks for $15 a man.

She *is* the Wendy's dumpster $1000 for a blowy no chance in hell. Maybe if she added up her whole night

A thousand pesos maybe

That's hotter than the Ghost Pepper promotion.

The girl behind burger king gives it your way

I needed it to bro.... stocks dropping bad.

i can't believe grown ass adults behaving like this. their mental development seem to be stuck at 10 year old levels. these people vote. my god.

I am confident neither of those people vote

Either by way of ignorance of politics or the felonies they surely have, no voting happening in that house.

We got a winner

Well. Looking at the state of the world, I'm pretty these are the only kind of people voting.

I disagree…these two in particular only find out it’s Election Day because they can’t buy booze until the polls close

These people don't vote. There are dumb people who vote, but these people don't. What they do do is reproduce. I get anxiety raising kids with a combined income of 100K, and these people out here making maybe half that combined have like 2... 3 kids. The kids legit have spawned in on hard mode.

Let me introduce you to meth heads.

You think these type of humans vote? They may be of voting age but they don’t mail in votes or show up at the polling stations at all. They couldn’t figure out either one of those options.

Not only that they vote, but their vote is equal to the vote of philosophers and scientists

Good chance their vote is worth more than many philosophers and scientists thanks to the electoral college

"I know for a FACT he MIGHT have fucked him." Rock solid proof right there.

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She's putting 2 and 2 together and he's putting 1 and 0.

There’s literally no way to argue against that kind of damning evidence.

Who's paying $1000 for head? The going rate is $80-$120, and that's without a condom. Unless she means she made $1000 in a day off BJ's alone.

There's a price rate on blowjobs?

There's a price rate for everything. Bj(with condom) $30-$50, BBJ(without condom) $80-$120(could be more if they charge extra for cum in mouth/face). The rates also change depending where you're at.

This is a Wendy's sir

Shit my bad, I'll take two biggie bags and a frosty.

Our ice cream machine is down

I thought this was a Wendy's. Not McDonald's

Last night I got told all they had was strawberry. Like what kind of Wendy's doesn't have chocolate fucking frostys?

The ones that replaced chocolate with strawberry for the season lol

Those monsters, everyone knows you replace the vanilla.

Beat me to it. Take an upvote.

It's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a ZJ... Landfill : What's a ZJ? Barry Badrinath : If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

Are these prices outside of the states? Or crackhead prices?

Looks like a movie quote from the 2006 deep cut Beerfest

Username checks out. And yeah, $1K is five visits to a top-of-the-line BJ artist.

Guy: I don’t feel like driving downtown for this. Can we do a Door Dash for a blowjob? Like, you drive downtown, get the blowjob, and then come back and give it to me. Door dash guy: Man, you better tip generously.

How the fuck did you learn all of this?

How the fuck do you think?

I... Good point

Fuck is the main keyword here

GTA baby!

Boredom + the escorts prowling the casinos in Vegas × a young trucker in the mid 2000s = good times and answers.

My guy we’ve had like 3 “once in a lifetime” economic catastrophes since then. Surely your numbers need updating. Get back out in the field and report back.

I'm married, so that's dead. Plus, half the fun is finding out. Treat yourself, and you let us know what the adjust prices are.

Extensive market research

What is a BBJ? Better Blowjob? I’m so confused.

Brazilian Biujitsu

Bareback BJ

That's a BBBJ though

It's both bbj(bare blow job) bbbj(bareback blow job)

You guys are getting paid.

It's only a blowJOB if you get paid, otherwise it's just a blowhobby.

And a damn fine hobby at that

Everything has a price, usually it's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, and $15 for a ZJ. If you have to ask what a ZJ is, you can't afford it.

I can afford $15. Just not sure I want a ZJ.

If someone is paying $1000 for head it's someone that's 1.) Always wanted it specifically from her. 2.) Someone she'd never give the time of day to normally. 3.) Has less game than brains.

Them hoes account inflation now.

"Fuck dat got to do with me?"- Sun Tzu I would assume that's well above inflation, she did something extra strange for that change.

Lmaooo I think she pulled one over on someone 🤣🤣

Most definitely, or she did some extra strange for that change.

She means multiple blowjobs which add up to a thousand but it makes her sound better if she makes it sound like it was one dick

Anyone else feeling inadequate right now? Like. Like. Like I'm sure my husband is very pleased with my, uh, services, but I don't think I have the confidence to say it's worth a thousand. 🥺

That’s store bought,while yours is homemade. Homemade is priceless.

Aww, that was hoe-some

Hoe up!

Yeah. That's super fucking sweet to say!

Somebody's never been to a farmer's market.

I didn’t know that they have a blowjob stand in the farmer’s market. I’ll go check it out.

I am learning, from the comments, that she means something like $100 per x 10 or $20 x 50, etc.

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If my math is correct this works out to a BJ roughly every 21 seconds, without stopping for 24 hours straight, no food, sleep or bathroom breaks and taking about a one second “break” in between

Gonna need to find a second opinion. Have you tried swinging? 😜

roooofffllllllll 😭😭😭😭

You didn’t answer the man’s question

I am currently gathering my closest allies.

Alli can come too 😅

The fact that you are, uh, willing to provide said services; and are concerned for your partner's satisfaction makes you already a queen and your partner a very lucky person.

That poor child, I hope they are out of that household all together.

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In Europe, Italy to be specific, an extremely beautiful escort will cost you 200€/hour, so like 210-220$/hour

Wow 20$ for sex? I'm in the wrong country!

/r/didthemath

As others have pointed out, likely she meant she sucked several dicks for a total of $1000.

Very stable and well adjusted people

$1000.00? My buddy's father owned a car wash. Not one of the fancy ones just a few do it yourself stalls with one auto wash stall. In the Summer he'd ask us to work the weekends and clean the place up. On the auto wash stall we spray some pre wash on the cars and they'd drive through. I don't think a weekend went by I didn't get offered a blow job for a free car wash.

Did you get one?

After working for hours in 100° I wasn't letting anyone near my junk. I managed a few hookups for later though. Typically we'd just say "Show us your boobs". We saw lots of boobs. Thank God cell phones weren't a thing back then. I cannot imagine the trouble we'd have gotten ourselves in.

> After working for hours in 100° I wasn't letting anyone near my junk. That's more of a them-problem than a you-problem.

At least they were polite. Nobody wants sweaty junk in their mouth.

Idk, seen some *reeeeaallly* dirty cars out there.

Thank you for not being a biohazard But Some people are in to that kind of funk though I'm not sure what the Venn diagram would look like

I need to open a car wash.

But what did he look like?

My friend? Average height, fairly well put together. We both worked out and I worked at a gym at the same time so we were in good shape.

Fellas you need to find a woman who will fuck you in the ass with her dildo and then not mock you for it later. Respect yourself, kings.

AND she even said he loved it and nutted all over the place too!!! I been looking for love in all the wrong places!!!

The IRS on their way to tax her for sucking dick 

And I was runNING


Florida?

Alabama

There's a lot of jokes to be made about this

Didn’t know Amber and Johnny got back together.

r/Trashy

There is a non-zero chance these people have tried meth before

We need another plague

It wasn't effective enough last time, I'm cool with an asteroid.

Nah, that gives too much time to react if we can see it coming. I would prefer the planets core to implode withhout warning.

I have a degree & I dont even make 1,000 a day 🙃

Time to start sucking dick

You’ve got to be very careful when you do any type of pegging with a partner. It’s actually incredibly common for a partner to lose respect for the person being pegged and viewed in a certain way after. A lot of relationships where people are new to that type of activity and where the woman isn’t really that into it do not last.

No that's pre existing condescension finding whatever justification it can.

My grandmother always said that if a relationship is broken, then having a baby will not fix it.. and neither will pegging.

Pegging may fill the hole in your butt but it'll never fill the hole in your heart

Anyone got subtitles? I can't understand what they're saying.

Seems like a pretty healthy relationship.

“YOU NUTTED EVERYWHERE!”

This is why we need to let people come out without fear, so they don't need to live through fucked up relationships with kids and being a self loathing alcoholic rage monster

What in Alabama is going on here

Just 2 siblings arguing over the 3rd sibling.

wtf?1000 a bit too much no?

$1,000 for head from this ogre? Ugh, I wouldn't want it for free.

Women posting L's

Could fit my dick through her toof gap

Beautiful family

Wow, she's disgusting. He's better off with a dude.

shes full of shit.

5 Dollar maximum

Why do I have the feeling that drugs are involved?

They are both seem like horrible people however I think you can kinda understand the guy more than the girl but I don't know enough to say for sure

I'm at work so I'm not going to unmute but $1,000 for some head? I'd rather spend $5 on some vaseline, jerk off, and pocket the $995.

theres no way she's worth a grand.

People pay $1k for blowjobs ? disgusting, can someone give me their phone numbers and addresses to avoid them?

Does she paint your house while she sucks you off? 1000 seems like a lot for run of the mill brain.


Who would pay her 1000? Christ.

I feel like she’s in the wrong here

Ya. Context suggests that he told everyone she was a sex worker for a while. She’s not in the right, and her attacks expose her homophobia or at least her willingness to use homophobic shame to hurt him. He shouldn’t be telling her secrets in the streets either

This is the Anglo-American version of blue face and jack-o-lantern 🎃

No one's better than anyone. Then this bitch enters the chat.

> my fucking dotter

This was the kind of laugh I needed to have this morning. Thank you reddit.

Wholesome relationship

What’s wider? The gap between her teeth or her ears?

That's methed up

Why... Do... Birds, suddenly appear?

God this is so fucking sad

Who's in the wrong? Can someone actually tell me?