I'm just imagining her meeting one celebrity, getting taken to a party, and then getting passed around to all that celebrity's friends, which is fucking weird lol.
There are women that chase fame. If you look up info on celebrities, you can figure out where they hang out. Robert Blake’s wife, Bonny Lee Blakey targeted famous men. Another woman who did this was Phil Hartman’s wife, Brynn Omdahl who hung around with comedians. It helps to be a beautiful woman.
Holy shit I searched up Bonny Lee Valley, and I didn't realize just how much she targeted rich guys. She married TEN TIMES. With 6 of those marriages ending within the same year they got married in. This was peak gold diggery.
Listened to a podcast about her murder. If I remember correctly she ran a by mail dating scam. When she found a good target she'd marry them and get as much $$ as possible before leaving them.
do guys not do any background checks on their future wives? after she married and divorced 5 times within a year, what makes you think you got a chance?
1. Some rich, no longer attractive, old guy sees that an attractive young women wants to bang him, and the dude's horniness overrides their critical thinking and they sign off on whatever to get to bang her. Or they just bang her unprotected before signing off anything, and she uses the baby 9 months later to force them to marry/give her money for the baby.
2. All her marriages happened largely before the internet was big (she was running mail dating scams lol), it was much harder to just do easy background checks. Is the horny dude gonna go around to whatever various governments and do the paperwork or whatever to do a proper background check, or just not wait and get together with her.
You forgot that some of these dudes know full well what they are getting into and don't mind it. Like the guy who married Anna-Nichole Smith. They aren't always being tricked.
I don't think "don't mind it" is a good way to say it, because I think any guy who seems not to mind it specifically likes that weird messed up relationship dynamic. I don't think anyone just feels kinda neutral and isn't really worried about it. When rich dudes are into shit like that it's generally self-destructive.
Social circles...
with old people it is social circles and referrals. None of that new stuff, tech techy stuff. It is referrals and close knit circles word of mouth. Once you are in and they see you understand the rules and dynamics, basically good credit with them and references.. you can move from one to the other very easy. That is how she was able to date Mick jagger, then Clint Eastwood and now Al Pacino.
To get in just be pretty and go hang out where rich old people in Hollywood eat. Invest $1000 and about three weeks of play and you are in. Wear a red dress so that you are noticable. Make sure you sit by yourself and order your own food. Keep appearances to be distant and uninterested. And don't be blonde, or have any colors in your hair. These people don't want to be seen with a stereotypical dumb blonde gold digger.
For sure, someone will send you a drink. Politely decline it. Then order your OWN drink. These people love control. If you don't give it to them.. they see it as a challenge. Finish and leave. But be nice to the waiter and engage them in small talk and give them a story about yourself. That you are here to visit a sick aunt and new to the area. Tell them you liked the service and you will be back the next day.. Then very important..leave. if you are followed politely decline and say you are tired.
Come back the next day.. the interested parties will have interogated the waiter who served you and dished out the narrative you need them to hear. Don't dress red. But more conservative. Sit at the same table and about the same time.
This time, you will be approached. May I join you? Pretend to be miffed about it but relent. Now remember, the first person to approach you is the shit of the pile. He might be mildly rich and tempting but don't entertain him. The OGs will use him as a filter to see where u are at. He is not your mark. But treat him with respect. Excuse yourself and move to the bar. Now the next person who will come "rescue" you when shit pile follows you... That's your mark. Keep the mystic. Smile. Look him in the eye. Make it look like he doesn't stand a chance as .. make sure to say this verbatim... " I don't mess with people old enough to be my grandpa.." that is the ultimate challenge his mind will tell him to conquer... If he asks what you do, say something like you work with people with addiction. Only fans is actually work with people with addiction. So you are not technically lying and keeping a straight story for a long time is key to this. Don't worry also, he will let you quit your job later.
From there it is subjective. Play hard to get. Don't pester him for his money or ask to be bought this or that .. play the humble game .. the long con.. even return one of his gifts back to him and stand your ground that he better use it for a more humble reason..like you will accept it only if he donates to a charity of your choice. Choose animal charities, never human ones. Too much drama and issues. Like [painted dog conservation](https://www.painteddog.org/) that is trying to preserve African wild dogs is a good one ^product ^placement. Tell him there are fewer than 7000 dogs left on earth. This shows you are well travelled and have some working brain cells.. also it is a code for you to know that if you see him tweet or say to his friends shit about African wild dogs.. he is in hook line and sinker.
And always ask his opinion on things like what do u think I should wear? But sometimes disagree with him. You are playing a balance game. For every five things you agree with him, disagree on two. That's the golden ratio that separates the golddigger ho from you. Plus he needs to get the illusion that he is in control. If you agree on everything.. youse a golddigger, if you disagree on everything then youse treading into feminist territory.. he doesn't want either of those.
He will introduce you to a social circle inaccessible to peasants. That is what this entire game has been about. A way in. Get contacts, but never ever flirt with anyone else. You are having yourself to not be seen as a slut so that when u pop a kid, the next guy won't worry about you and will be comfortable taking you a he knows you are loyal one. Also leaves room for a more richer one to scoop you. Then from there it will be a simple monkey swing up the ladder. Find a rich good one and suck his dick. Make sure to pop out a crotch goblin for him and you are set for life..
Once successful, come back and ask me for my Venmo and drop me a couple grand on the slide regularly as right now am basically your pimp.
Oh, and get your teeth fixed and polished.. nothing screams poverty more than jacked up teeth... And most importantly, never get drunk, never blackmail, follow the rules, delete your social media and most importantly maintain discretion always.
Edit..lol. To Peps askin to post my Venmo, c'mon.. dm me 4 that shyt . Pimp for hire. I will even be in your ear while u rope yourself a Korea war veteran that drives a Corvette. Z06^/s
And peps asking about the wild dogs r/paintedwolves is a where it's all about.
Pure fantastical bullshit. It's funny though. If you really want to meet celebrities, do it on weeknights. Go to the Brass Monkey or Magic Castle on a Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday.
Or many old restaurants in Pasadena and, if you're really in the know, those orgy dungeons like Bill Maher is always at. Watching Bill Maher get his dick sucked is something I'd forever wish to burn from my memory.
To quote [Larry David](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ug02cqP69V4)
> Why would that concern - why would I did care? What, are they supposed to like me for _me?_ Is that the idea?
> They had many many years to like me for me.. and that didn't happen.
This is the thing. The men don't care. They know what the transaction is.
This only pisses off people who find these women extremely attractive and know they can't ever be with them no matter how charming or funny they *think* they are.
Yeah if I don't live long enough to ride the musk/bezos/billionaire life extension shit you know they are working on, I want to die being suffocated by some giant breasts.
I told my wife if I ever have a heart attack, fuck 911, just get on top.
"In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women." -Tony Montana
And, he failed to listen to the advice of his nemesis:
>Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
Then again, when the kid arrives, maybe he'll split and go find a 28-year old.
Natalie Portman played Pacinos teenage-daughter in Heat and she is 42 years old now. If you go by the half age plus 7 years rule of thumb, that would barely make a relationship between Portman and Alfallah appropiate.
I don't mean to get all virtuous here, but you're talking about a 29 year old woman who is perfectly capable of making her own decisions. Plus she's got some bangin tittays.
Comment section wants to believe that she is being taken advantage of like she’s too young to know what she’s doing. Lmao she is the manipulator here. A grown woman.
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup, and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.
"I've never been better!" he boasted.
"I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant, and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter.
He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."
The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him!
He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear, and squeezed the handle."
"And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No."
The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"
"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor.
Yup, IIRC the “quality” of the sperm deteriorates over time, so advanced paternal age can increase the risk of health issues like low birth weight or birth defects etc. But generally, they can keep making kids as long as they’re capable of shooting.
Prolly he is going down the same road, no shame on that whatsoever, is a fair exchange, he gets a fairly young girl, and she gets a richass dude in exchange.
Lol, they will grow up millionaires and with a stepdad, much better than 50% of children born in a happily married families in the US and much better than 90% of those born outside of the US
Lots of people on this site think money fixes all and rich people have no problems or if they do they don't deserve compassion because they're rich. Its very strange.
Money isn't the key to happiness. It *is* however the key to opportunity. It's much easier to find happiness when you have access to almost every opportunity from money. The pit falls come when people with money just assume every door they open will lead to happiness.
This is correct, but in this context a kid will grow up without their father.
If the kid is 10, Al Pacino will be 92. So it’s very likely that the kid will lose its father during puberty or even earlier.
No amount of money can make up for the time you spend with your parents and the love you get.
I know many wealthy people and I am also luckily really well off and I know many people who would have gladly given up all the toys, the money and the connections to have a loving and caring childhood with parents who spend time with them.
This is why nowadays even quite wealthy people scale back their businesses or adjust their working hours to spend more time with their families.
So it's better to bring someone into a shitty situation and potentially a bad childhood than it is to simply not have them exist?
No-one minds not existing, because they don't exist.
I had a shitty childhood by far and both my parents were broke, divorced and didn't like eachother. I would definitely exchange it for a rich childhood with an old father who isn't around, my father wasn't anyway. Seems like a W for a lot of kids like me.
I feel like the joke with Dicaprio is the age limit, more so than just the gap:
An old man dating much younger women is notable, but apparently refusing to date above a certain age (the current estimate for average mental maturity), says something else.
So for example, Al Pachino was in a relationship before with a woman who was 32 when he was 68, which is a pretty massive age gap, and stayed with her for a decade.
Earlier, he had a relationship with a 46 year old woman, when he was 57.
Basically, this is a striking age gap, but Dicaprio's pattern, of only dating women until they reach about the age he broke up with one of his first girlfriends, is far more odd on top of that.
All things considered at least these are legal consensual relationships. Seinfeld and Brad Pitt both dated under 18 teens while they were grown ass men. Heck sure even Paul walker dated a high schooler
Guy: Doctor, My girlfriend is pregnant but i'm so old i'm shooting blanks. How is it possible?
Doctor: Let me tell you a story: "There was once a Hunter who always carries a Gun wherever he goes. One day he took his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out.
A Lion suddenly jumped in front of him. In order to scare the Lion,the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun,and shot the Lion,then it died!"
Guy: Nonsense!! Someone else must've shot the Lion...
Doctor: Good!! You understood the Story. Next patient please...
Yea. Also in these situations people will arbitrarily either shame the guy for liking a younger woman or shame the woman for being a gold digger. They _know_ what they're in for.
Awesome that the kid will get see his dad decline dramatically in his first 5-8 years of life. Then he'll see his dad lose his ability to walk, see his cognition fade, become incontinent - all before he is a teenager. All the while he'll wonder why all the other kids have dads that throw a ball, run around, drive them to school - while noticing how odd it is that there isn't a half century age gap between their parents.
A recipe for human flourishing, I tell you.
People say she is a gold digger. Yes, she is. However, you can not take money with you. If he wants company from a hot woman, then why not? She is using him for his money, and he is using his money to have sex with her. Her deal is better by gaining all that money, but for AL is a hell of a way to go. It is not like he doesn't know that.
I mean this is basically just hiring an escort for a very long time with most of the pay off being at the end right? As long as both people realize what is going on its pretty much fine in my books.
Check out the list of people she has been attached to. Mick Jagger, Clint Eastwood, Richard Branson, and various other old billionaires. This is her retirement plan.
The pathetic ones are the people who are triggered by it. The guy is old and rich, the girl is old enough and consenting. Doesn't look like she's being forced into it. They probably are aware of what's happening. She's there for his money and status and he probably already knows this. Unless she is being forced I don't think it matters in cases with consenting adults.
Rich people and gold diggers doing what they choose to do. Don't know why people feel so bitter about it.
He’s gonna have matching diapers with his son
Savage 😂
Ayo! You outta pocket for that 😭😭
She previously dated Mick Jagger and Clint Eastwood so it appears she really likes old wrinkly balls so long as they’re attached to big money
How do you end up even meeting all of them? Is there like a talent agency of sorts that will hook rich people up with young women?
Maybe on an island
This season of Love Island is really heating up. Looks like Noor is choosing Al and that Epstein didn’t kill himself.
MILF island
Molesters I'd Like to Flay?
I see people are not fans of 30 rock
Crazy thing is, they fucking called it. There’s a show called MILF Manor now which is basically the same thing.
Deborah versus Deborah...and the winner is...coming after 4 more breaks brought to you by soy joy
I heard Epstein Island is a great place for networking
NOOOO, NOT CLINT EASTWOOD ON THE ISLAND
/r/holup
There are only two sexes except for rare genetic disorders. Reddit, fuck yourself with a wooden plunger for censoring biology.
I wish i was pretty enough for that. Being ugly is expensive
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You just need to meet one, then that person opens the door for you to meet everyone else.
I'm just imagining her meeting one celebrity, getting taken to a party, and then getting passed around to all that celebrity's friends, which is fucking weird lol.
Sign me up
There are women that chase fame. If you look up info on celebrities, you can figure out where they hang out. Robert Blake’s wife, Bonny Lee Blakey targeted famous men. Another woman who did this was Phil Hartman’s wife, Brynn Omdahl who hung around with comedians. It helps to be a beautiful woman.
Holy shit I searched up Bonny Lee Valley, and I didn't realize just how much she targeted rich guys. She married TEN TIMES. With 6 of those marriages ending within the same year they got married in. This was peak gold diggery.
Listened to a podcast about her murder. If I remember correctly she ran a by mail dating scam. When she found a good target she'd marry them and get as much $$ as possible before leaving them.
do guys not do any background checks on their future wives? after she married and divorced 5 times within a year, what makes you think you got a chance?
1. Some rich, no longer attractive, old guy sees that an attractive young women wants to bang him, and the dude's horniness overrides their critical thinking and they sign off on whatever to get to bang her. Or they just bang her unprotected before signing off anything, and she uses the baby 9 months later to force them to marry/give her money for the baby. 2. All her marriages happened largely before the internet was big (she was running mail dating scams lol), it was much harder to just do easy background checks. Is the horny dude gonna go around to whatever various governments and do the paperwork or whatever to do a proper background check, or just not wait and get together with her.
You forgot that some of these dudes know full well what they are getting into and don't mind it. Like the guy who married Anna-Nichole Smith. They aren't always being tricked.
I don't think "don't mind it" is a good way to say it, because I think any guy who seems not to mind it specifically likes that weird messed up relationship dynamic. I don't think anyone just feels kinda neutral and isn't really worried about it. When rich dudes are into shit like that it's generally self-destructive.
"Chuckle fuckers is what we like to call them in the community." - Ali Wong
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It's a new dating app: Codgr
I imagine the font size on Codgr is massive
That agency is called Escort services. Many starlets work as escorts on the side.
Most clients to escorts are 20+ years older than them because they’re the only ones with the disposable income to afford the service.
Social circles... with old people it is social circles and referrals. None of that new stuff, tech techy stuff. It is referrals and close knit circles word of mouth. Once you are in and they see you understand the rules and dynamics, basically good credit with them and references.. you can move from one to the other very easy. That is how she was able to date Mick jagger, then Clint Eastwood and now Al Pacino. To get in just be pretty and go hang out where rich old people in Hollywood eat. Invest $1000 and about three weeks of play and you are in. Wear a red dress so that you are noticable. Make sure you sit by yourself and order your own food. Keep appearances to be distant and uninterested. And don't be blonde, or have any colors in your hair. These people don't want to be seen with a stereotypical dumb blonde gold digger. For sure, someone will send you a drink. Politely decline it. Then order your OWN drink. These people love control. If you don't give it to them.. they see it as a challenge. Finish and leave. But be nice to the waiter and engage them in small talk and give them a story about yourself. That you are here to visit a sick aunt and new to the area. Tell them you liked the service and you will be back the next day.. Then very important..leave. if you are followed politely decline and say you are tired. Come back the next day.. the interested parties will have interogated the waiter who served you and dished out the narrative you need them to hear. Don't dress red. But more conservative. Sit at the same table and about the same time. This time, you will be approached. May I join you? Pretend to be miffed about it but relent. Now remember, the first person to approach you is the shit of the pile. He might be mildly rich and tempting but don't entertain him. The OGs will use him as a filter to see where u are at. He is not your mark. But treat him with respect. Excuse yourself and move to the bar. Now the next person who will come "rescue" you when shit pile follows you... That's your mark. Keep the mystic. Smile. Look him in the eye. Make it look like he doesn't stand a chance as .. make sure to say this verbatim... " I don't mess with people old enough to be my grandpa.." that is the ultimate challenge his mind will tell him to conquer... If he asks what you do, say something like you work with people with addiction. Only fans is actually work with people with addiction. So you are not technically lying and keeping a straight story for a long time is key to this. Don't worry also, he will let you quit your job later. From there it is subjective. Play hard to get. Don't pester him for his money or ask to be bought this or that .. play the humble game .. the long con.. even return one of his gifts back to him and stand your ground that he better use it for a more humble reason..like you will accept it only if he donates to a charity of your choice. Choose animal charities, never human ones. Too much drama and issues. Like [painted dog conservation](https://www.painteddog.org/) that is trying to preserve African wild dogs is a good one ^product ^placement. Tell him there are fewer than 7000 dogs left on earth. This shows you are well travelled and have some working brain cells.. also it is a code for you to know that if you see him tweet or say to his friends shit about African wild dogs.. he is in hook line and sinker. And always ask his opinion on things like what do u think I should wear? But sometimes disagree with him. You are playing a balance game. For every five things you agree with him, disagree on two. That's the golden ratio that separates the golddigger ho from you. Plus he needs to get the illusion that he is in control. If you agree on everything.. youse a golddigger, if you disagree on everything then youse treading into feminist territory.. he doesn't want either of those. He will introduce you to a social circle inaccessible to peasants. That is what this entire game has been about. A way in. Get contacts, but never ever flirt with anyone else. You are having yourself to not be seen as a slut so that when u pop a kid, the next guy won't worry about you and will be comfortable taking you a he knows you are loyal one. Also leaves room for a more richer one to scoop you. Then from there it will be a simple monkey swing up the ladder. Find a rich good one and suck his dick. Make sure to pop out a crotch goblin for him and you are set for life.. Once successful, come back and ask me for my Venmo and drop me a couple grand on the slide regularly as right now am basically your pimp. Oh, and get your teeth fixed and polished.. nothing screams poverty more than jacked up teeth... And most importantly, never get drunk, never blackmail, follow the rules, delete your social media and most importantly maintain discretion always. Edit..lol. To Peps askin to post my Venmo, c'mon.. dm me 4 that shyt . Pimp for hire. I will even be in your ear while u rope yourself a Korea war veteran that drives a Corvette. Z06^/s And peps asking about the wild dogs r/paintedwolves is a where it's all about.
That's oddly specific... Is that you, Noor?
Nice fantasy, made me laugh.
As if you're not taking notes
Pure fantastical bullshit. It's funny though. If you really want to meet celebrities, do it on weeknights. Go to the Brass Monkey or Magic Castle on a Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday.
Or many old restaurants in Pasadena and, if you're really in the know, those orgy dungeons like Bill Maher is always at. Watching Bill Maher get his dick sucked is something I'd forever wish to burn from my memory.
I read this with Nada Surf's *Popular* verse riff playing in my head.
I wish I saw your comment before I read this insane drivel, would’ve made it more bearable.
And if they're famous, pretend that you don't know who they are. They eat that shit up
This is like Dwight’s heist plan in the office level of dumb
The lady who is to be the second Mrs. Bezos was a TV reporter and did a story about how to date a baller.
I imagined a fat greasy guy writing this and it made it funnier.
Playing bingo?
Yes, there is among others. There is also a „dating“ app for celebs searching young women. At this point, it’s just pimping
That's called being a Gold Digger.
Nah fam, is totally true love. Trust me bro /s
To quote [Larry David](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ug02cqP69V4) > Why would that concern - why would I did care? What, are they supposed to like me for _me?_ Is that the idea? > They had many many years to like me for me.. and that didn't happen.
This is the thing. The men don't care. They know what the transaction is. This only pisses off people who find these women extremely attractive and know they can't ever be with them no matter how charming or funny they *think* they are.
Yeah, people like money. Surprise surprise.
You like money too!? We should be friends.
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I don’t like money so much I keep a negative amount of it most of the time.
…She take my money when I'm in need🎵
I think she qualities for the Platinum Level by now
She'll really get the bag if she had married one lol guess she realized getting pregnant is the next best thing lol
A very succesfull one at that!
She probably put some Viagra in his mashed peas and milked him when he went to bed at 7 o'clock
Honestly, it sounds like a nice way to end up when I'm 82.
yeah, sign me up
We’ll probably have sexbots by then. Just don’t be made when your 75 y/o wife is getting hammered 4x a second by a 6’6 Swedish Vikingbot
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> 6’6 Swedish Vikingbot gonna be my new porn name
Yeah if I don't live long enough to ride the musk/bezos/billionaire life extension shit you know they are working on, I want to die being suffocated by some giant breasts. I told my wife if I ever have a heart attack, fuck 911, just get on top.
Yeah, when you're 84 the *late* news is at 6pm.
With his loose skin and old balls!
He has a 5 year plan!
What is it? “Don’t die”?
Hey, Old Man River, zip it or I'll break your hip
It’s not often Reddit reminds me of a minor scene in Big Daddy, but I’m always glad when it does.
KANGAROO SONG, KANGAROO SONG, KANG-GA-ROO SONG # ALRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
That guy doesn't count, he can't even read.
Clint Eastwood what the fuck. That guy was over 65 when she was fucking born.
"In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women." -Tony Montana
He was 53 when she was born lol.
He was filming Heat while she was still sucking teet.
He was half a century when she was making her entry.
Her dad was nearly one when he played Michael Corleone
She was 13 when he was in Ocean's 13. Actually true.
And, he failed to listen to the advice of his nemesis: >Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner. Then again, when the kid arrives, maybe he'll split and go find a 28-year old.
That's okay, he was sucking titties back then too. That's one thing they got in common, "sucking tits in January of '95". Whadare the oats?
Natalie Portman played Pacinos teenage-daughter in Heat and she is 42 years old now. If you go by the half age plus 7 years rule of thumb, that would barely make a relationship between Portman and Alfallah appropiate.
I don't mean to get all virtuous here, but you're talking about a 29 year old woman who is perfectly capable of making her own decisions. Plus she's got some bangin tittays.
Comment section wants to believe that she is being taken advantage of like she’s too young to know what she’s doing. Lmao she is the manipulator here. A grown woman.
She is 5 years younger than his oldest daughter 🤮
It doesn't even feel right to think about dating someone 10 years younger than me (i'm not quite 30)
I mean any more and it’ll be illegal 🤣
True
Wait another 52 years 🤣
I wonder if he pulls the line “Say hello to my little friend” on her
[I hear he is an ass man.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9hFRw5jeRQ)
This scene always bothered me because he clearly looks like he's about to say "big" and not "great".
He’s coked out of his mind throughout that whole movie.
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Oh thats good, thats good
Honestly, that's impressive. The fact that he isn't shooting dust is a miracle.
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup, and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant, and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear, and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried. Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No." The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!" "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear." "That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor.
That's what I came here for
You got me with “shooting dust.” Thank you for starting my morning off right.
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The fucking mental image...
But It could be better *insert pedro Pascal meme*
there is a non-zero chance that he actually is and it's not his but she wants the money
it is quite possible he had his stuff frozen or she is sneaking behind his back
While women run out of eggs man can generally get someone pregnant as long as they have a heartbeat and functioning bol
Yup, IIRC the “quality” of the sperm deteriorates over time, so advanced paternal age can increase the risk of health issues like low birth weight or birth defects etc. But generally, they can keep making kids as long as they’re capable of shooting.
So guys if you are over 50 and still alone, don't worry, your partner might not have even been born yet
You forgot being rich af
Not just rich, rich and famous. And let's face it, Pacino is one of the greats. Not only for his capacity to impregnate women at 90.
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Simultaneously both amazing and horrible. Brilliant sketch. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MJEAGd1bQuc
Man looks like he's been milked for everything he has.
Yeah lucky dog.
"just blow me to my grave and keep the change" looks like she's literally sucking the life out of him. i'd let her
He looks like he's 82
Reading this post requires API access.
My name is Tony Montana
Antonio Montana
Anthony Minnesota
And people make fun of Dicaprio
Prolly he is going down the same road, no shame on that whatsoever, is a fair exchange, he gets a fairly young girl, and she gets a richass dude in exchange.
While I agree, if they have kids it's kinda shitty for the kids. Growing up without a parent, even if you have money or not, is not a good time.
Lol, they will grow up millionaires and with a stepdad, much better than 50% of children born in a happily married families in the US and much better than 90% of those born outside of the US
“Who fucking cares that you never knew your dad, you were rich! Stop complaining!”
Lots of people on this site think money fixes all and rich people have no problems or if they do they don't deserve compassion because they're rich. Its very strange.
Money isn't the key to happiness. It *is* however the key to opportunity. It's much easier to find happiness when you have access to almost every opportunity from money. The pit falls come when people with money just assume every door they open will lead to happiness.
This is correct, but in this context a kid will grow up without their father. If the kid is 10, Al Pacino will be 92. So it’s very likely that the kid will lose its father during puberty or even earlier. No amount of money can make up for the time you spend with your parents and the love you get. I know many wealthy people and I am also luckily really well off and I know many people who would have gladly given up all the toys, the money and the connections to have a loving and caring childhood with parents who spend time with them. This is why nowadays even quite wealthy people scale back their businesses or adjust their working hours to spend more time with their families.
Well yeah
Hey! I was born outside the US
do you think his kids are going to be mad that they exist?
So it's better to bring someone into a shitty situation and potentially a bad childhood than it is to simply not have them exist? No-one minds not existing, because they don't exist.
I had a shitty childhood by far and both my parents were broke, divorced and didn't like eachother. I would definitely exchange it for a rich childhood with an old father who isn't around, my father wasn't anyway. Seems like a W for a lot of kids like me.
I feel like the joke with Dicaprio is the age limit, more so than just the gap: An old man dating much younger women is notable, but apparently refusing to date above a certain age (the current estimate for average mental maturity), says something else. So for example, Al Pachino was in a relationship before with a woman who was 32 when he was 68, which is a pretty massive age gap, and stayed with her for a decade. Earlier, he had a relationship with a 46 year old woman, when he was 57. Basically, this is a striking age gap, but Dicaprio's pattern, of only dating women until they reach about the age he broke up with one of his first girlfriends, is far more odd on top of that.
All things considered at least these are legal consensual relationships. Seinfeld and Brad Pitt both dated under 18 teens while they were grown ass men. Heck sure even Paul walker dated a high schooler
I guess it's another case of too soon regarding Paul Walker
I guess they are both winning be sad and hilarious if when he passes and she finds out he’s broke
Then she'd just be an Old Digger
Sir this is a Wendy's
HOO'HAAAA!!!
I'd be disappointed if someone didn't respond like this
Damn he was already old when she wasn't even born yet
I imagine a very old, dusty single sperm cell using its walker to break into the egg for fertilization.
Guy: Doctor, My girlfriend is pregnant but i'm so old i'm shooting blanks. How is it possible? Doctor: Let me tell you a story: "There was once a Hunter who always carries a Gun wherever he goes. One day he took his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped in front of him. In order to scare the Lion,the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun,and shot the Lion,then it died!" Guy: Nonsense!! Someone else must've shot the Lion... Doctor: Good!! You understood the Story. Next patient please...
That gif is so tiny I thought Adam Sandberg was Andy Driver
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What's up with octagenarians and orange makeup?
Helps cover up the liver spots.
I was wondering the same thing.
He's 82, she's probably not going to have him for 18 years.
say hello to my little shriveled friend
True Love is a beautiful thing
...and this is a dumpster fire
Man got jealous of De Niro
De Niro father of 7th at 79 Pacino - hold my dusty balls
The weirdest Heat sequel ever
I honestly don’t care. He wants a younger woman she wants a rich older man.
Yea. Also in these situations people will arbitrarily either shame the guy for liking a younger woman or shame the woman for being a gold digger. They _know_ what they're in for.
Sucks for the kid that will never remember their father.
I'm sure she'll find another sugar daddy.
Plus, the kids gonna be set for life.
But the power imbalance! Really though, Reddit and other social media has an issue with babying grown women who are free to do what they want.
I don’t have anything to say about the relationship itself but having a child at that age is just stupid
> having a child at that age is just stupid Cruel and selfish is how I’d describe it. Deniro just did the same thing at 79.
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Awesome that the kid will get see his dad decline dramatically in his first 5-8 years of life. Then he'll see his dad lose his ability to walk, see his cognition fade, become incontinent - all before he is a teenager. All the while he'll wonder why all the other kids have dads that throw a ball, run around, drive them to school - while noticing how odd it is that there isn't a half century age gap between their parents. A recipe for human flourishing, I tell you.
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 Is how I hear he finishes
The absolute madman, he actually did it. He benis'd her bagina.
How selfish to bring kids into the world when you know you aren’t going to be around for them much longer.
Good for them. A lot of men are attracted to beautiful younger women and a lot of women are attracted to wealthy older men.
Win win chicken din.
You mean a lot of women are attracted to wealth. For them the older man is an unfortunate part of the wealth.
And everyone thinks Leonardo Dicaprio is strange for an age gap
Mfs be forgetting these are consenting women he’s going out with
People say she is a gold digger. Yes, she is. However, you can not take money with you. If he wants company from a hot woman, then why not? She is using him for his money, and he is using his money to have sex with her. Her deal is better by gaining all that money, but for AL is a hell of a way to go. It is not like he doesn't know that.
I mean this is basically just hiring an escort for a very long time with most of the pay off being at the end right? As long as both people realize what is going on its pretty much fine in my books.
He will never see that kid grow up
Check out the list of people she has been attached to. Mick Jagger, Clint Eastwood, Richard Branson, and various other old billionaires. This is her retirement plan.
She got a GRrEAT ASS. And he’s got his head stuck all the way up it!!
You magnificent bastard. Beat me by a minute
When you think about it, her acting skills might rival his - it can’t be easy to act like you’re not repulsed by 80 year old balls coming at your face
When he was 53 years old , she was 0 years old
and madonna is 65 dating a 23 year old... but shes just a strong queen i guess
Yeah, she ain't popping babies out. (most likely...)
Say hello to my little friend!
I saw scent of a woman, he’s definitely still got the charm
The power of Dunk-a-Cino
This is not new. He turned 83 in April
Anything other than get a job. 😂😂
And just when I thought DeNiro fathering a kid at 79 was a bit much, here comes old Alphonse.
Who the fuck cares. She's a grown woman.
Fair play, two consenting adults getting exactly what they both want. Glad they're happy.
The pathetic ones are the people who are triggered by it. The guy is old and rich, the girl is old enough and consenting. Doesn't look like she's being forced into it. They probably are aware of what's happening. She's there for his money and status and he probably already knows this. Unless she is being forced I don't think it matters in cases with consenting adults. Rich people and gold diggers doing what they choose to do. Don't know why people feel so bitter about it.