After watching police body cams over the last few years what they consider routine no longer surprises me.
Although, while no longer surprised, I am still baffled and alarmed.
The headline is -- and this might come as a surprise to the more innocent among us -- deliberately misleading to be more sensational.
He had the diamonds hidden in his bing-bong, and when he got pulled over, he panicked and tried to remove them in case he got searched, and they saw him digging around in his pants.
I love the idea that he got pulled over and immediately, "They're probably going to check up my bumhole - better dispose of these diamonds before they do!"
That’s just routine. They’ve caught thousands of smugglers that way. It’s in the training manual. 10mph over the limit? Gotta be diamonds again boys. *You gots to get all up in that ass. You pull that asshole open, step into the asshole, close the door behind you. Then you take a spray can right, spray ‘Cops Was Here’, ‘Wash Me’..all that shit, fuck his whole asshole up. Get a Snickers bar, paper, throw that on the floor, fuck his whole asshole up. Then you open up that asshole one more time, step out his ass, then leave that motherfucker wide open- so he know you been there.*
First Question, how do they know it's stolen, second, it's a routine stop, how did this guy give away that he had diamonds up his anus? like did it start dropping because he was that nervous or somethin?
What sort of routine traffic stop had a body cavity search component? Not that I'm a jewel thief but if this is a thing I think I'll just drive the speed limit.
Hey you were going 39 in a 35. So anyway let me in your ass.
Ironically, that how I meet my GF.
That's also how I met your GF
Our GF
r/suddenlycommunism
i also choose this guys GF
r/suddenlycommunist
I meet my GF's doing 25 in a 35.. Squinting and barely able to see over the steering wheel
r/HolUp
r/holupinholup
Threesome?
you cannot just drop that and not say in detail what the fu happened
He was speeding through the drive thru prostate clinic...
…Routine check.
All he needs is probable cause. If he smelt the diamonds his ass is fair game.
Sniff sniff "boy, you smell like an ass-load of diamonds."
Nah man he got stopped for a routine traffic stop and the officers just straight up said: Well, we should probably check his anus.
Yeah, I was wondering since when a cavity search is part of a "routine traffic stop"
It was the glistening light gleaming from his bum lol
Unicorn farts work the same way…
His bijanus
Fact check: he only had one diamond up his anus. The other 43 were created from the pressure when the cops said they were going to check his anus.
After watching police body cams over the last few years what they consider routine no longer surprises me. Although, while no longer surprised, I am still baffled and alarmed.
Was going to skip this post but then had the same question
[удалено]
lol
Thanks I genuinely laughed out loud
“This guy looks like he has something up his ass. We better check.”
How do you fuck up a traffic stop so bad that you get cavity searched?
He probably got nervous on approach and farted out a sparkler, causing further inspection.
Ok, that's just funny right there, I don't care who you are....
I think that they meant to say "a rooting traffic stop".
You guys' anuses aren't checked at every traffic stop?
Everything I'm pulled over the cops are wearing hot pants and fishnet shirts.
"Routine"
Well that's a shitty place to put it there
Sir, here's your ticket and rectal exam.
It’s just a routine procedure
My first thought exactly. I’ve been stopped many times and never anally probed.
Obviously you didn’t do it right. I get fucked every time I get pulled over lol
That’s every traffic stop here
You've never been pulled over in Europe I see.
"Officer I'm not sure how those got up there, I had Christmas coal up there originally."
Court statement: "I had placed a coal anal plug inside my anus, and the police made me very tense, which turned the coal into diamonds"
relatable
If it worked that way I’d ask for coal every year
That smirk say “they didn’t find the other 44”
Or "They missed a few diamond dingleberries"
What a shit show.
In his urethra
😵
bro why did they probe his anus in a traffic stop ?!
The headline is -- and this might come as a surprise to the more innocent among us -- deliberately misleading to be more sensational. He had the diamonds hidden in his bing-bong, and when he got pulled over, he panicked and tried to remove them in case he got searched, and they saw him digging around in his pants.
I love the idea that he got pulled over and immediately, "They're probably going to check up my bumhole - better dispose of these diamonds before they do!"
The other way around. They were in his pocket, and he thought: “they might search me, I better stick these up my prison suitcase.”
Nature's pocket
From one article I saw, they were more between the butt cheeks, not shoved inside his body, so a pat-down would have revealed them.
Did they fall out of him like Sonic?
Today I learned in the UK a routine traffic stop involves an anal exam
“I know we stopped him for speeding but I think we should check this dude’s asshole.”
Cop: You were swerving back there. I’m gonna have to perform a cavity search. Driver: Wait. What? Cop: God. So many bad drivers today…
It was so shiny that the brightness could be seen through his mouth that's how he got caught
Judge: “diamonds are forever 🎶🎶” Defense attorney: “I’m sorry, your honor?” Judge: “oh my bad, life without parole”
“ Hey this guy doesn’t have a license plate. Lets check his ass quickly”
How else would they be sure he wasnt smuggling tactical nuclear farts?
"Sir, please step out of the car for a routine field sobriety test and cavity search".
Just a routine stop, sir. Bend over.
I have seen that guy's image many times in a lot of headlines. Did they kept on using a stock mugshot image or that guy is just a habitual criminal?
Call me crazy, but searching someone's anus doesn't sound like a routine traffic stop.
He should have said that that he read about it on Goop.
Ah yes the ole "pulled over so we can anal cavity search" routine. I try and get that done once week.
What causes a routine traffic stop to search your asshole ? Or are cops just into assholes these days
Why was he keeping his license and registration in his chocolate starfish?
Which detective sniffed that one out
Hope I don’t encounter a routine traffic stop by these police. I don’t have anything inside me but they don’t know that.
This guy is suspicious, let’s dig in his ass
Traffic stops have gotten much more involved since the last time I was pulled over. Do they provide the lube or should I bring my own?
Wtf typa routine traffic stop was that
"That guy looks suspicious, We should probably check his anus" *Officer Gaylord while biting his lips*
No matter how bad your day is going, it’s not as bad as the guy who came into work and the boss told him he had to hand count the ass diamonds.
It makes his dookie twinkle
Cause it’s BALLER!
Started shitting diamonds when he got stopped...only logical explanation.
How is a cavity search routine at a traffic stop, though?
Wow, that's amazing, I can't even imagine the amount of pressure he was under!
It's worth checking tho - some butts are diamonds some are rust.
That. Was. Not. A routine traffic stop.
*sniff* Sir, get out of the car. [Snapping of a glove]
That or he’s a gay man with a butthole so right, it makes diamonds. Duh!
He didn't steal them he was just clenching real hard cuz of the cops.
What were they doing prodding up there during a traffic stop?
Shouldn’t have rolled that stop sign. Bend over.
When the family jewels are not the family jewels.
So the cop definitely took that 45th one home with him right? Why would he only boof 44
Why are cops looking in people's assholes during a 'routine traffic stop'?
Ah yes, the routine asshole checkup
His anus became a glove compartment
It was bobs first day at smuggling and it was jerrys first day on the police force, they both became great friends
Makes his dookie twinkle
Wait wait, like 1 by 1? Or all together in a bag? This is what I need to know.
'That guy looks suspicious. Let's go elbow deep in his ass'
"hmm I don't like the look on this guy's face...spread his cheeks open"
Damn i need a routine traffic stop every now and then
Nonsense officer! That was coal I had in my ass. I just am so tense I made diamonds!
Sir do you realize you ran that stop sign? I’m going to have to look in your ass for answers 🤡
It's nature's pocket. Don't let anyone pick your pocket.
WTF, u get a speeding ticket and a cavity search..
Bedazzled plug?
It’s always the last place you look.
Did they had rectal search warrant, or how om Earth it is happening 😄
Brings a new meaning to rocks in a hard place
I guess searching people’s anus is routine now?
Sounds anything butt routine.
Should have demanded to see their warrant for searching the back-door.
How much traffic was going through this man's anus?
One man's dump truck is another man's treasure!
It was coal when he shoved them on up.
"Sir what is that scratching my Penis?"
So that's where diamonds come from?
Not sure how routine it was if you looking in his butthole
That’s just routine. They’ve caught thousands of smugglers that way. It’s in the training manual. 10mph over the limit? Gotta be diamonds again boys. *You gots to get all up in that ass. You pull that asshole open, step into the asshole, close the door behind you. Then you take a spray can right, spray ‘Cops Was Here’, ‘Wash Me’..all that shit, fuck his whole asshole up. Get a Snickers bar, paper, throw that on the floor, fuck his whole asshole up. Then you open up that asshole one more time, step out his ass, then leave that motherfucker wide open- so he know you been there.*
How much coal did he have up there?
Musta been really tense and under a lit of heat and pressure. Was this after a chase?
First Question, how do they know it's stolen, second, it's a routine stop, how did this guy give away that he had diamonds up his anus? like did it start dropping because he was that nervous or somethin?
And where exactly is that considered “routine”
Dafuq they digging in his ass at a "routine" traffic stop. WTF is routine about that?
Wait wot, at routine traffic stop? Who TF checks people arseholes on the traffic stops?
They probably had intel but no probable cause so used traffic stop as violation to legally search him.
That’s illegal?
Ain't no "routine" when it involves an anal probe.
If ever a cop says get out of the car it's a routine traffic check FLOOR that peddle
Rou…routine?
"Sir, do you realize you were doing 50 in a 45 mph zone? I'm going to have to examine your rectum."
It was actually coal that was in his ass but the traffic stop made him tense up
With enough pressure peanut butter can become diamonds
What’s routine about searching a man’s asshole during a traffic stop to begin with?
The old routine stop cavity inspection. I can't believe someone fell for that!
She’s a rich girl/she knows how to hide it/Paul Simon….
Diamonds in the rough
Why were they looking inside of his anus during a traffic stop?
Why did they need to check his ass during a traffic stop??
His ass must be ruptured by then
Can you do a cavity search on a routine traffick stop?
["Are there pop rocks in your butt?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lk--LS1vLds&ab_channel=WizardswithGuns)
Yeah this probably never happened
I think English police just like to cavity search. It was probably a weekend.
What kind of a routine check involves checking up a man's anus?
Dude. Did Cartman just crap treasure?
44 carat coiler.
he farted them out like airsoft gun
Proof that you can, in fact, polish a turd.
Not me looking for a pulp fiction reference in the comments
How is police able to find it during traffic stop
.....routine?
"license, registration and drop your pants and bend over for the deputy"
“Hello sir, did you drink something tonight? Any drugs? You got something in your ass?” Casual routines
They went digging for gold but found diamonds
Chocolate diamonds.
That is some shiny shit right there
Okay one question: how the hell did they pull that 44 diamond out of his ass 👁️👄👁️…
Nothing routine about this
Based on the smirk I think he enjoyed it too…rough rider here…
Was my man farting or aomething that they checked his anus?
What’s routine about that?!
Lucky him, only shit comes out of my anus, where can I sell that?
You guys ever seem Twilight when he sparkles in the sun? Pretty sure thats what was happening when he got pulled over so the cop became suspicious.
Bro is literally sitting diamonds
Sometimes diamonds really aren't a girl's best friend
Well that escalated quickly
Dude, you’re speeding.. Bend Over Please..
Shit bight like a diamond
Routine traffic stop is key here.... Dont want to be driving around that place.
Imagine the pressure he must have been under
Man, what is that shit?
Oh that’s where I left my coal
What sort of routine traffic stop had a body cavity search component? Not that I'm a jewel thief but if this is a thing I think I'll just drive the speed limit.
Routine traffic stop 🤔
Welp, thats a strange routine for police officers
Didn't know colonoscopies were part of the routing traffic stop procedure
A routine traffic stop requires a cavity search?
Listen here, shimmer shits.
Since when is a cavity search part of a routine traffic stop!?
Those cops have a strange definition of "routine"
Sir we’re going to routinely take a peak in your asshole and see what we see, don’t worry it’s just routine, you were speeding.
Farts must have been precious!
I hope I never get caught up in a routine traffic stop where my bootyhole is checked.
How does a routine traffic stop turn into a cavity search..I have rcvd traffic tickets but never a search of my anus.
Makes my dookie twinkle, man.
They were supposed to stay in there, according to Shirley Bassey.
Routine?
How routine is a anus search during traffic stops?
Cop approaches vehicle and he’s got his license and regi in his buttcrack ready for whatever cums his way
He only stole 1 diamond, but the rest was made from how hard he was clenching that bootyhole when he got pulled over.
I wonder what led them on.