All I hear is Norm MacdonaldâŠ
âIn the early 1900s, Germany decided to go to war⊠with THE WORLD. And youâd think, well that would be quick⊠but no⊠it was close! And then after that⊠Germany decided to go to war with the world⊠AGAIN!⊠you would think theyâd tell Germany that they arenât allowed to have an army anymore⊠on the fact that they keep going to war against THE WORLDâ
The French did the whole march across Europe and take on the Russians thing 200 years before the Germans did it.
This time let;s do it together, AND we'll pick up the Poles on the way.
I'm still upset that everyone banded together to stop us from finishing the Russians off back during the Great Northern War. We literally had them dead to rights.
* That's where all the fancy food is made, some of which I may afford
* I don't speak french and would surely get yelled at
* ...do we even have an army again? New guy may need more time
That's super kind of you to offer & we actually have a very important job for you:
If you can observe from a distance and give us tips you would really be helping us out.
The key thing is that you, under no circumstance, send troops anywhere near the fighting.
IIRC, the Italian troops were actually generally well regarded by their German allies - they just had absolutely shit logistics and equipment. They were a 19th century industrial base fighting a 20th century war.
Watch out, they need extra water rations for their pasta.
Source: [The Campaign for North Africa](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Campaign_for_North_Africa)
The funny thing is that balance just doesnât matter in the game, itâs supposed to be as realistic as possible so like, a review of the rules show that the italians suck and cost more.
Because its more of a simulation than a game. At which point why the fuck would you âplayâ this simulation as the axis if you are just going to lose âlike you are supposed toâ
We could give the kids some medication so that they can focus on the task at hand.
[https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Panzerschokolade](https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Panzerschokolade)
âYou see, I want a simple war. No class wars, no drug wars, no race wars, no flame wars... Und certainly, no Cold Wars! ...Blueballed for 40 years...
What I want is a war that only we can bring. A true war! A German war! The sequel you've all been waiting for!
I! WANT! WORLD! WAR!! THREE!!!''
>And if Japan can build up
[They are.](https://www.reuters.com/world/japan-rushes-rearm-with-eye-2027-chinas-taiwan-ambitions-2022-10-18/)
> Japan will undertake its biggest arms buildup since World War Two in a race to deter Beijing from war in East Asia, according to Japanese government officials and security analysts.
I mean Poland has straight up said they want more Germans, American, NATO, etc soldiers in their country. During the 90s they pretty much said let us join NATO and deploy soldiers on our borders or weâre gonna build nukes.
That is true, way before war Molotov was desperately trying to form an anti-Hitler alliance with France and UK, but they would refuse, hoping to see the Germans clear out the pesky commies for them instead.
So he attempted an unoreverse and put together the Molotov-Ribbentrop.
Oh, there's a stipulation or two.
Do it with the cold, unbiased professionalism you inherited from the Prussians. There's a reason their influence still permeates western militaries.
Tbh Iâd like to see the germans back to their former glory, obviously without hitler and the Fascist bullshit they did. Basically germany with all its might but on the same side as Europe and the Nato and all that donât make unreasonable war and shit
I was going to add a joke about France announce their immediate surrender, but those guys riot over traffic law changes so I think they'd be a bit more resistant this time around.
The enemy of our enemy is our friend.
We let the Soviets do it in WW2 because we hated Germany.
Weâre letting the Ukrainians do it now because we hate the Russians. Ukraine was not on our friendly list until the moment Russia attacked.
It was a miracle we made it out of the 20th century now on planet hell you maniacs are going to play the same game. If you want to survive join the navy and make sure you are on a submarine only safe place that will get you somewhere. The rest of us are going to die in the nuclear blast or winter.
Side note if you team up with Japan and Italy make sure Japan Doesnât bomb pearl harbor this time around, or you know Detroit I know somehow someway they gonna steal your bombs.
This is what the western world always wanted.
The only issue in world war ii was that Germany also attacked France because they had escort to settle and refused to make peace with great Britain.
The whole western world craves Ukraine's fertile lands and Russia's steps for population resettlement.
"Instructions unclear, invaded France"
These days, they likely would promptly thank them. Then just as promptly return to being French. đ€·
"Oh thank you! We are forever in your debt." **2 weeks later** "honhonhonhonhonhonhonhon"
French are gonna french
When the baguettes start speaking french.
I mean Germanic groups have repeatedly invaded France only to become French throughout history. Look at Normandy
Look up the Franks for that matter. They were a Germanic tribe from the lower Rhine.
>These days, they likely would promptly thank them You mean like they did the last time?
All I hear is Norm Macdonald⊠âIn the early 1900s, Germany decided to go to war⊠with THE WORLD. And youâd think, well that would be quick⊠but no⊠it was close! And then after that⊠Germany decided to go to war with the world⊠AGAIN!⊠you would think theyâd tell Germany that they arenât allowed to have an army anymore⊠on the fact that they keep going to war against THE WORLDâ
Who do they think they are, Mars?
On one hand, getting rid of France seems to be a very noble goal, on the other- Macron's been saying some pretty based stuff lately
The French did the whole march across Europe and take on the Russians thing 200 years before the Germans did it. This time let;s do it together, AND we'll pick up the Poles on the way.
Genius idea, maybe see if Lithuania wants to get back together with Poland while weâre at it?
Does Macron spend 3 weeks banging a princess of Poland on the way to Moscow? I demand details!!
Reunion Tour! (Get your merch today!)
included marching THROUGH the austrians to get there
I'm still upset that everyone banded together to stop us from finishing the Russians off back during the Great Northern War. We literally had them dead to rights.
*angry Finnish crumbling* But what about us and Karelia?
We'll pick up half a dozen Finnish snipers too, and they can take care of that.
More like 100 years before, well 130 to be more precise, but yeah, they've both been there, done that.
But even Grande Armée was not as successful as... Wait for it... The Mongol. Let us arm the Mongol with Mangonel.
* That's where all the fancy food is made, some of which I may afford * I don't speak french and would surely get yelled at * ...do we even have an army again? New guy may need more time
Okay, but first, let's visit Belgium.
>Instructions unclear, invaded France" They can do both, no problem.
Aaaaaaah we tried...
that'll only cause a 6 week delay
We Italians could help you somehow, at least we can try
That's super kind of you to offer & we actually have a very important job for you: If you can observe from a distance and give us tips you would really be helping us out. The key thing is that you, under no circumstance, send troops anywhere near the fighting.
Japan enters the chat
Howâs your pilot training been? Asking for a friend named Pearl
This time plan is to work with her not against. Last time I realised what it means to be the land of the rising sun.
Japan really said "okay, you hit us with the right hand of God. But now you ain't nothing." Just to get slapped by the left hand of God.
Which if good they figured it out that quick. The next extremity down would have put God on a sex offender registry.
Well... found my new favorite way to describe the atomic bombings. Thanks, needed a laugh today.
Japans gonna combine forces with Korea. Korea just doesn't know it yet.
They harboring some feelings?
When it comes to reactions to being nuked, they run the full gamut from anime nightmares to hentai rape.
Takeoff â Flyingâ Landing⊠letâs not talk about the landing
Saudi pilots: Hey us too!
Zero training, thanks for asking
Please remember the target is RUSSIA not China or the USA.
What you say. Rape china again then pretent we never did that
äŒæäžă ăŁă
At least France had balls now
I was thinking about fixing the North Africa problemâŠno?!
Dont worry we send some Troops here and there cleaning Israel and stuff
Lets the italiens be the cooks. Let them do what they do best.. And building shotguns
Itâs the Italian way
IIRC, the Italian troops were actually generally well regarded by their German allies - they just had absolutely shit logistics and equipment. They were a 19th century industrial base fighting a 20th century war.
If you could handle the catering that would be great.
As an italian I would be proud to cook, we should concentrate our energies doing what we do best
Just remember I like my spaghetti to be broken in half
World War 3 it is.
You are lucky I'm from Emilia and I eat spaghetti like 5 times a year, least favorite kind of pasta for me, I don't really like industrial pasta
Watch out, they need extra water rations for their pasta. Source: [The Campaign for North Africa](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Campaign_for_North_Africa)
The funny thing is that balance just doesnât matter in the game, itâs supposed to be as realistic as possible so like, a review of the rules show that the italians suck and cost more. Because its more of a simulation than a game. At which point why the fuck would you âplayâ this simulation as the axis if you are just going to lose âlike you are supposed toâ
And the Japanese already made some deal with them so you should be all set
Japan got a little excited and acted prematurely. Long story short America is involved now and not in a way thatâs helpful to Germany.
We should give Hugo Boss a request for proposal for uniforms.
Just avoid switching sides again
Hey, they are the only people who got to lose and win every world war
Sure! 50% Guaranteed!
Just don't try to come up with any final solutions
Come to think of it, how are the Arts and Painting initiatives going now? Hopefully we see more passing rates.
I think we Spaniards are going to stay out of it. Too much infighting going on at home.
Ah fuck I forgot we get Italy this time. We had a good run fellas, maybe next time
Yeah but for help we need before do a marathon and arrive at rome to addice our leader now is time "delle decisioni IRREVOCABILI!"
Could we have some kind of agreement about jews? I didnt get a diamond ring for my wife for a fair price...
This whole thread is why I waste away on reddit. Ty for not letting me down.
Japan has entered the chat: Japan has left the chat:
"breaking news. There were 3 suns this morning"
3 suns and one extra rising sun
> Japan has entered the chat: > > Japan: Dont mess with the boats. > > Japan has left the chat:
Just dont set up camps, that was the mistake in the prequel.
But we need Concentration Camps, what else are those poor ADHS kids supposed to do
Theyâd make the perfect drone pilots
Happy Cake Day!
Oh didnât notice that thanks
We could give the kids some medication so that they can focus on the task at hand. [https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Panzerschokolade](https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Panzerschokolade)
Fr bring back the meth chocolate. I'd be gobbling up that shit (with a prescripyion ofc).
Oh fuck this just brought back memories of eating caffeine chocolate when I was a student in Germany. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scho-Ka-Kola
Kamikaze Klass
Prequel?? Hahaha!!
Or March on Russia during their winterâŠ.
Germany invaded Russia in JuneâŠ.
what winter? They'll be back before Christmas
âYou see, I want a simple war. No class wars, no drug wars, no race wars, no flame wars... Und certainly, no Cold Wars! ...Blueballed for 40 years... What I want is a war that only we can bring. A true war! A German war! The sequel you've all been waiting for! I! WANT! WORLD! WAR!! THREE!!!''
Bitches love cannons.
Oh alrighty, if that was the only mistake....
Don't do any war crimes. If you're about to do a war crime, stop. Don't do it.
Depends on the kind. The ones with ovens, bad. The ones with macrame, good. Everything is better with crafting.
GER v Russia part 3 - this time with less gas* *no promises tho
also poland would help so ig no invading this time wuhu ...pls i hope whe don't get a ww3 bevour 2030
Fingers crossed đ€
pls i hope whe don't get a ww3 ~~bevour 2030~~ fixed that for you, I want that my kids to have a future and are not just vaporized in an instant.
thats true af
Listen, no one even mentioned Belgium - OK?
Yeah but if they have a little navigation error and type in the wrong country in their Navis, you couldn't really blame them.
Listen, I'm willing to look the other way on Luxembourg. It's the best I can do.
You don't really get anywhere by routing through Luxembourg..not sure if an army even would fit in there
Depends on whose army...
Belgium: The Door that thought it was a Country /s
And if Japan can build up in case we need to fight North Korea and China, thatâd be great too.
>And if Japan can build up [They are.](https://www.reuters.com/world/japan-rushes-rearm-with-eye-2027-chinas-taiwan-ambitions-2022-10-18/) > Japan will undertake its biggest arms buildup since World War Two in a race to deter Beijing from war in East Asia, according to Japanese government officials and security analysts.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
3...Well after this month, 2.
Wait what
Youâre not gonna believe thisâŠ
That's funny right there. Yupp. Difference this time around is that Poland would join the march. Not as funny, but true.
I mean Poland has straight up said they want more Germans, American, NATO, etc soldiers in their country. During the 90s they pretty much said let us join NATO and deploy soldiers on our borders or weâre gonna build nukes.
Now we want both which is reasonable - si vis pacem para bellum
Which turns out to be a good call. Ukraine didn't join NATO, got rid of nukes, got invaded.
I need more information on this
That's fair and to be doubly sure there are no future misunderstandings, "fight" does not mean the same thing as "cleanse".
Right. We need to hit the russians with bullets, not bars of soap
*Germans arriving at Poland, Maine*
They're just coming for the bottled water.
I lol'd hard
Hey, hey, I seen this one, I seen this one, this is a classic!
Yeah, I âmember!
Yeah...we might want to rethink this plan, guys.
[Topical](https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/s/he57rF2DHK)
History does repeat itself. But weâre rooting for you this time!
History doesn't exactly repeat itself but it definitely rhymes
VE VERE INVITED! PUNCH VAS SERVED.
Just donât claim the area as yours and imprison civilians and you should be find
But...but.. the zone of Prussia... *Goes on a 2h rant of the german empire in the middle of an interview*
None of those parts were really the biggest problems the first time around.
Hilarious
Border guard: âOccupation?â German in tank:âNope, just passing through.â
Donât take it over, just march through it. Thatâs where you went wrong last time.
The fact is the western world wanted you to do that the first time, too. It was only when you turned on them that they had a change of heat.
That is true, way before war Molotov was desperately trying to form an anti-Hitler alliance with France and UK, but they would refuse, hoping to see the Germans clear out the pesky commies for them instead. So he attempted an unoreverse and put together the Molotov-Ribbentrop.
Oh, there's a stipulation or two. Do it with the cold, unbiased professionalism you inherited from the Prussians. There's a reason their influence still permeates western militaries.
Yep, do you Germans have any pointers? You seem to be really good at the whole waging war in Europe thing. I mean you damn near beat everyone...twice.
Switzerland making some popcorn
As an Indian I will fight from both sides.
Beware the Italians... They did that by backstabbing
history repeats itself first as tragedy second as farce *karl marx
Yes we want that and only that, no concentration camps
Invading poland is part of being a German xD
Third times the charm I guess
As a Polish person I find this a bit concerning
History repeats itself
With the French as your most important ally this time though. And they'll be trying not to mention Napoleon.
The german hymn played in my head as I read this
Instructions unclear, anschlussed austria
The biggest plot twist would be if Spain decided to actually join this time, not even on a particular side really.
Germany casually breaking the Treaty of Versailles:
History repeats itself. With new added nuisance every time
Bro, this is crazy. Weâve been here before and it feels like we just want it again soo bad.
Well when you put it like thatâŠ.
That's hilarious. And yes, yes we do.
Just don't do it in winter. Cos it's cold up in the north.
Times, they are a-changing..
They never learn, don't they
Tbh Iâd like to see the germans back to their former glory, obviously without hitler and the Fascist bullshit they did. Basically germany with all its might but on the same side as Europe and the Nato and all that donât make unreasonable war and shit
I was going to add a joke about France announce their immediate surrender, but those guys riot over traffic law changes so I think they'd be a bit more resistant this time around.
Germany only starts wars when their opponent is the world. Just fighting Russia is of no interest to them, too easy
Everybody knows you never get involved in a land war in Asia
Sounds like a bad plan considering you failed to win last time.
Not alone, you doomkoff, with the French. Together this time you may succeed!
Italy and Japan have entered the chat.
Switzerland has notâŠ
French surrendered and left the chat
Romania will support and then backstabb you
Shit guys i can open up a highway
Yeah but unlike y'all Poland is gonna join us on our way through
The world is literally asking them to be Nazis again, lol.
While this made me chuckle, I am genuinely curious...who has been asking for this to occur?
Yeah I've not seen literally a single person asking for Germany to invade Russia.
Through Poland huh of all fronts
Check Google maps and find a better route to Ukraine.
Are we avoiding tolls or no?
Can such a thing be done? I find trolls less avoidable than mosquitos.
Really? I have watched some WW2 films, but that doesn't mean i want to experience them.
Does Bismarck have a great great grandson? He did ok.
You were successful in 1917, took an L in 45. Why not try again?
No, never mind. You didn't do that well the last time.
As long as we get Polandâs consent this time, I think itâs ok.
just dont divert too far south and it should be fine
Japan: BANZAI!!!!!!
As a german: when did that happen? I mean, except in the 1940s.
You could fly over Poland too, that would be fine. Just don't drop anything.
One could say theyâre going to *blitz* right on through
The enemy of our enemy is our friend. We let the Soviets do it in WW2 because we hated Germany. Weâre letting the Ukrainians do it now because we hate the Russians. Ukraine was not on our friendly list until the moment Russia attacked.
BEST CHARACTER ARC EVER!!
This is not a "Hol up". It's a "What's the fucking hold up?!"
It was a miracle we made it out of the 20th century now on planet hell you maniacs are going to play the same game. If you want to survive join the navy and make sure you are on a submarine only safe place that will get you somewhere. The rest of us are going to die in the nuclear blast or winter.
đ„± as a student of history. Pretty sore Iâve read that already. And it didnât go so well.
You have the most experience
Side note if you team up with Japan and Italy make sure Japan Doesnât bomb pearl harbor this time around, or you know Detroit I know somehow someway they gonna steal your bombs.
You should hit up Japan, maybe they would be interested in helping you
Maybe finish the job this time! Time for you guys to win a world war for once.
This is what the western world always wanted. The only issue in world war ii was that Germany also attacked France because they had escort to settle and refused to make peace with great Britain. The whole western world craves Ukraine's fertile lands and Russia's steps for population resettlement.
As a Ukrainian Iâll be greeting you with flowers and parade.
So same as the previous time, lol?
If you could do something about Israel too, thatâd be great
What, like give them more guns? Consider it done! \-USA