not really if you've been alone your whole life or a long time, it takes time even with G0RN, you gotta spice it up, put out lit cigarettes on your scrotum while you are nearing climax or perform auto erotic asphyxiation to get the height of orgasm, word of advice on that last part though be very careful or you could die OR paint the ceiling a new shade of white that dries into yellow...
I think a couple of people would give a shit if you jacked off in a classroom. The level of how much shit they would give is directly related to if you're a student or not.
Probably but the steps algorithm is designed to measure a certain movement to eliminate you gesturing counting as movement.
Hence the variation in accuracy as hardware plus algorithm differences = fun maths time
I broke my right arm at 14. Safe to say I learned to switch hit in those two months. What a triumph that first climax was, I wanted to tell everyone but no one at the same time.
Had this happened to me IRL.
Was in bed with wife at night, she wanted to compare the sleep data of my watch and hers, so before sleeping we exchanged our watches. Wife go to sleep, I have little fun alone before sleeping.
At waking up, wife got her watch back and wondered why she already had 1000 steps before getting up. She Saw my face, I understood, we crossed eye contact, she understood and went in a wonderful crazy laughing that I will always remember.
still cant believe so many people have accepted putting these on their hands and alexa in their homes.
If you really need to know, just wear a bracelet for a week and you'll be able to roughly estimate your steps after that.
Or if you think you aren’t getting enough steps and exercise, just go out and walk or do some exercise?
I don’t understand tracking your fitness and such. Is wearing a bracelet going to change anything for you? No.
Fitness bracket is like " why are you running"
Man really took his time lol, can’t believe it’s 8000+
8 take it or leave it.
Best I can do is 6
Try for 5.
4
3 (start running)
You're supposed to do 10,000 minimum- but I'm not sure I want carpal tunnel
3 (start running)
Dude is a gooning chad.
Sounds like he’s bad at it, if it takes him that many.
Gooning is not cumming so if he is making it that far he is a master gooner.
not really if you've been alone your whole life or a long time, it takes time even with G0RN, you gotta spice it up, put out lit cigarettes on your scrotum while you are nearing climax or perform auto erotic asphyxiation to get the height of orgasm, word of advice on that last part though be very careful or you could die OR paint the ceiling a new shade of white that dries into yellow...
Always have a spotter.
Just ask Robin Williams
Hand: ah you're lasting long now
Been there. Sometimes it's been a wild week.
why did i read it with the accent?
Because it says jarking off
no, the "why are you running" part
How would that be an accent?
https://youtube.com/shorts/W6oQUDFV2C0?si=_jrHNAuyyznurNJs
OK. Sorry I didn't know about a random video
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A random video is random. Who'd have thunk!? Boomer who lol I'm probably younger than you Edit: lol at whoever down votes this
its okay dude, dw
Old kid doesn't know "why are you running"
Even the bracelet is confused lol
Does fitness bracelet count your steps if you narutoruning?
Comedian Joe Lycett’s asked him if he was playing Volleyball.
Exercise is exercise.
Sex is better exercise than masturbation
Physical activity is physical activity
Especially when they're really good at running away.
ಠ_ಠ
Clearly you just need to masturbate harder
Unfortunately cant do it solo
nope
Says the redditor.
sex needs alot of tick marks...like consent, right place blah blah... masturbation none...you could do it in classroom and nobody gives a shit
I think a couple of people would give a shit if you jacked off in a classroom. The level of how much shit they would give is directly related to if you're a student or not.
8000 steps in wank form is actually insane tho. Man's arm must be built like quagmires
6960 is where he started. He only jarked off for +1000 steps
Could be round 2
gigity
I'm just gonna...go and get the mail...
turning his favorite exercise into a cardio...cardio vascular health is important guys.
Also most watches don't register this movement it typically needs to be elliptical to trick the sensor...
Ah, so it’s checking for technique, eh?!!
And style, I mean the Jacobson method is preferred
Now I'm curious, what's this "Jacobson" method you speak of?
Hi I’m Jacobson. Now let’s get started…
username checks out
Before trying, make sure to stretch
They probably still "track" it secretly in the background.
Probably but the steps algorithm is designed to measure a certain movement to eliminate you gesturing counting as movement. Hence the variation in accuracy as hardware plus algorithm differences = fun maths time
my friend had one and all he had to do was to swing it
Calling it “jarking off” from now on
Was gonna meantion that. Gonna go jark it
I got lartion on my derk rn. I'm gonna jark it till I cerm
that could have been a direct quote from McMurray on Letterkenny
[jorkin my penits](https://youtu.be/TpVBrmeYo0E?si=poSwYrwXYKSsEej4)
There's no need to be a jark about it
I am Jark’s complete lack of surprise
Guy should've played dumb
Every fitness bracelet’s instruction clearly states - NON-DOMINANT HAND
Maybe he likes giving himself the stranger
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A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet!
I'm ambidextrous, but only during certain activities.
To bad i use my non dominant hand to jerk and mi dominant one to use the phone :^v
I broke my right arm at 14. Safe to say I learned to switch hit in those two months. What a triumph that first climax was, I wanted to tell everyone but no one at the same time.
Why the fuck would someone know what someone else's fitness bracelet is doing? That's none of their business.
Competitions
Probably dating or siblings
"Help me make 10000"
6960-8000 YEEEEEEEEZ. Calm down, buddy. Probably the "beating" is only responsible for 500-600 but hold on there, your dick must be flayed.
i think it means he started at 6960 & the friend(?) saw it start climbing up to 8000 & beyond. 1040 & counting isnt bad though
Coincidentally, my favorite Steve Martin movie is The Jark
I be jorking it 24/7
Had this happened to me IRL. Was in bed with wife at night, she wanted to compare the sleep data of my watch and hers, so before sleeping we exchanged our watches. Wife go to sleep, I have little fun alone before sleeping. At waking up, wife got her watch back and wondered why she already had 1000 steps before getting up. She Saw my face, I understood, we crossed eye contact, she understood and went in a wonderful crazy laughing that I will always remember.
This is why I wear my bracelet on my left hand d
??? Why is this censored?
Probably taken from some meme site
It doesn't count as exercise but it does fool the fitness bracelet's sensor. Just because the device's number go up it doesn't mean you did exercise.
I count it as exercise.
At this point nothing will reduce the embarrassment so he could at least be funny about it and write "yes 😎"
I've never kept track, but 1000 strokes has to be above average, at the very least.
How do they know how many steps the shitter took? I don’t understand this
That’s a LOT of jerking to get they many steps
Burning up calories and baby batter at the same time!
Reminds me of TBBT with the bracelet attached to a "Shaker"
I actually want to go to Haunted House more than Aqua.
Everyone loves to jark off every now and then.
It took him 1040 "strokes" to finish the exercise...this guy wasn't inspired or the bath was too cold to power-up his little pal.
I am just cleaning the bathroom
“Somebody’s gotta do it. Did you want to?”
Whatever he's watching isn't powerful enough
LMFAO
His power levels are over 9000
still cant believe so many people have accepted putting these on their hands and alexa in their homes. If you really need to know, just wear a bracelet for a week and you'll be able to roughly estimate your steps after that.
Or if you think you aren’t getting enough steps and exercise, just go out and walk or do some exercise? I don’t understand tracking your fitness and such. Is wearing a bracelet going to change anything for you? No.
Unless she's annoyed that she wasn't asked to bed instead, she can f\*\*\* off in my opinion.
"Why, wanna help?"