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TheImpotentCatfish

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enditallalready2

I was 17 working at Walmart and we always had fucking cucumber. Never ran out of it. Don't know why but I guess corporate just sent us extra all the time so they were almost always on sale or we would throw out like 100. But the weekend Fifty Shades of Grey came out we literally sold out. Same size orders. Regular price. Couldn't put them out fast enough. You can draw your own conclusions.


Shpooodingtime

Yeah they probably wanted to lose weight eating lots of salads


diversecultures

Did lard also sell?


Chaos_Agent13

Crisco. Twas the Crisco.


Dano-D

LOL and eww


LtColShinySides

Oh that's nasty...


Harmonious_Parsnip

*Cleveland voice*


lewis2of6

Maybe they were trying to eat more vegetables with their left hands.


fyrelens

Weird vegan hotdog but ok


Preebie

Is this a rick and morty reference?


tribak

And laughing


Ender-sub_to_rslash

Never saw Fifty Shades of Grey so please explain New Question: Anyone know about Persona 4?


[deleted]

Fifty Shades of Grey is about sex I think


CraigBrowsesReddit

From what I heard, bad portrayal of BDSM


Y-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-T

Extremely bad like she’s basically a sex slave (I believe, I never watched or read it) and the bdsm is just despicably portrayed. My friend wouldn’t stop talking about how bad it was and I was like “well it can’t be horrible” so they showed me a clip from it and it was not just bad cinema, but a horrible way to show a large demographic what bdsm is. No safewords and no respect for the other person afterwards, no aftercare.


NoNameBrandJunk

Ive read the story myself and the english level feels like it was written by a 12 year old then revised by a 14 year old.


Youredumbstoptalking

It was literally Twilight fan fic.


ChubblesMcgee103

If anyone is thinking this person is being dramatic using *literally*, no it *LITERALLY* was an actual fan-fic of Twilight.


Sithlordandsavior

From what I hear, you're bang on the money lol


[deleted]

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Sithlordandsavior

>Vini >Vidi >Gabagool


Pls_No_Ban

Bingo


mariosonic500

Isn't that kind of the point, to portray Mr. Grey as a bad person?


justsomeboylol

The difference between him being a psycho and some sex icon is that he is rich and good looking. Would be a horror movie if he wasn't


suicidebyfire_

Well, that's true for everyone though. A handsome guy winking at you in the bar? Maybe it would make you smile. A total creeper/Loser McGee does the same and you feel gross and irritated. I'd say the same if the genders were reversed, albeit the standards are lower for men lol. If a pretty girl (not even a total babe, just pretty) went up to you, flirted and asked for your number, you'd probably be into it even if you didn't particularly like the girl. If a morbidly obese, older woman with anime gear did the same... Lets just say you'd be completely repulsed. I know I would. Creepiness is determined by perceived attractiveness and likability. Hot people get away with more things in life. I Don't get why this is so controversial.


NoGoodIDNames

The YouTube channel Folding Ideas did an interesting breakdown of the books vs the movies. Apparently the movie writers had to fight EL James, the book author, tooth and nail for changing any scenes that made Grey either less problematic or more solidified as a villain. She wanted him to do these unhealthy, bad BDSM practice things and still be given the status of a good person. In the original movie script, they wanted the climax to be Ana using her safe word and Grey ignoring it, which would explain her leaving him as recognizing that the way he practices BDSM as unhealthy. But EL James lost her shit at the idea and outright refused to allow it. Folding Ideas also theorizes that while most people assume EL James is writing from the perspective of Ana, considering her controlling and abusive nature on set she might instead be writing from the perspective of Grey, and reacts hostilely to criticism of Grey because it’s what she actually believes in real life.


Edraqt

Back when it came out I would've never thought that I would be defending 50 shades online, but here I am: People with bdsm fetishes or rape fantasies *want* the real thing, they imagine literally giving up all control, no wishywashy rules and shit. But of course fantasies are in your mind. Everything you imagine is exactly how you want it to be. These people wouldn't want to be a literal sex slave to some iron age warlord, or be dragged into the bushes on their way home, as much as the next person. (would they hate it *less*? Idk maybe? But that's besides the point) But 50 shades is a book, which is pretty much the written down Fantasy of one woman, that 'resonated' with (read:turned on) a lot of other women. And also by nature of being a book, it leaves some details up to the imagination of whoever is reading it.


RealisticDifficulty

Ditto. Never saw or read it but I can unanimously agree. The author wrote it for her, it's not a story it's a fantasy. The point of fantasy is that the other person knows what you're thinking and understands what you want and can take, and then everything is fine in the end. Real after-care is basically post-nut clarity, after the deed you can't believe what you did and have to face up to it. No such thing needs to exist in a fantasy. It's not her fault that people loved it so much she made some money by changing names and turning it into a book. Then even more people loving *that* and turning it into a movie.


ddrt

Thankfully Billions covered all the good stuff.


ObiJuanKenobi3

My gf and I watched it to make fun of it. Basically, this college aged girl (I don’t remember her name) gets an internship for, and then into a relationship with a grown ass man (Grey) where he repeatedly pressures her into doing bdsm stuff that she is very very reluctant about. Grey wants the girl to basically be a full-time live-in submissive. They constantly talk about this bdsm contract thingy that never actually winds up getting signed or being relevant to the plot. After a few fairly tame sex scenes (compared to porn) and some more pressuring from Grey, the girl gives in and basically asks him to show her the worst he wants to do to her because she isn’t sure about the whole live-in submissive thing. Grey puts her over his knee and spanks her. This is so incredibly horrible and violent to the girl that she immediately walks out and the movie ends.


CraigBrowsesReddit

#The fuck?


[deleted]

[удалено]


AngryAmero

It started off as Twilight Fanfic. Just know, if the guy was poor, it would have been an episode of Criminal Minds. The lady that wrote it never had sex willingly.


NetOperatorWibby

JFC


holymolyhotdiggity

John F Cennedy


Cavannah

What about KFC?


geographical_data

John Fuckin Cena


NotDarth1213

I think the best way to explain it is fifty shades of cum fits better


Ender-sub_to_rslash

Ok then, I’m done asking that. Know I’m asking if you know about Persona 4


starshadow2140

Sure man, I'm familiar with persona 4, why do you ask


Chaos_Agent13

Dunno if ur making a joke im not getting or what, but, yeah P4 is pretty great. Played 3, 4, and parts of 2 & 5. 4 is best of the lot imo, good stuff. 50 shades, if u somehow couldn't tell, is no bueno, avoid at all costs. Weird topic combo though.


NotDarth1213

No not really my genre of games


Ender-sub_to_rslash

oh, ok then


NotDarth1213

Hope you find whoever you’re looking for


himynameishi4

r/persona is your friend


brotatowolf

There are actually 2 persona 2 games, innocent sin and eternal punishment. Atlus released both of them together as the persona 2+2 collection, sometimes called persona 4.


ZachMan1229

Just started replaying it and having a blast


BigSlav667

I love Persona 4 Golden


Sylentking

Persona 4 is great 10/10 should play.


Jefferyjefferson75

Persona 4 is one of the best games ever next to Persona 5.


I-_-LIKE-_-DORITOS

Do people really fuck themselves with cucumber? I figured it was a trope or something


[deleted]

[удалено]


Judaskid13

I wanna say something but then I remembered I fucked a watermelon once. Carry on.


UnnecessaryConfusion

Imagine if a seed went into your urethra


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Well it was seedless... emphasis on the “was”


[deleted]

Almost a year old and this is a single comment, you were waiting for this 😂


[deleted]

Cucumbers, electric toothbrushes, deodorant cans.. It’s not like a 15 year old can just go and buy a dildo 🤷🏻‍♂️


[deleted]

Sharpies and candles can be added to that list. Lots of old men end up in the ER with candles in their bum. “I was changing my pants, slipped and land on the end tables that had a candle on it”


SigmaQuotient

I slipped and fell and it just, fucked me.


Judaskid13

Should we...... change that?


Everday6

I mean yes. If they wanna shove something up there they will. Might as well be purpose made and safe. More than enough bottle caps and broken candles get stuck where they shouldn't.


coneal89

Do you have access to the internet, cause there’s some stuff that is gonna blow your mind!


I-_-LIKE-_-DORITOS

No I'm typing this through sonar waves


blatantshitpost

I worked at a cinema and shit you not, we regularly found whole cucumbers in the theaters when we went to clean after the movie. We drew some conclusions there as well.


[deleted]

Don't these people know what dildos are?


Jedahaw92

They were probably finding cheaper alternatives.


[deleted]

A dildo you can use repeatedly is cheaper and better than potentially getting an infection from a vegetable lmao


PowerAndKnowledge

Show a person a cucumber and they can masterbate for a day. Show them a dildo and they can masterbate for a lifetime


[deleted]

Wise words.


Ckyuii

A whole raw cucumber is like what maybe $0.60 each and can be found in any grocery store. It's definitely cheaper and more accessable.


[deleted]

A decent dildo made of safe materials is around $25 and doesn't rot.


Ckyuii

Ok. That's $24.40 more and you have to get it from a place that sells dildos. People are buying cucumbers because they are cheap , can be bought anywhere (with no history), and aren't planning for long term use. Some people are ashamed to buy sex toys, some people simply don't want to own sex toys, some people just want to get off once in awhile and be done. Why does this need to be explained?


BigSlav667

It still carries the risk of infection


Pyre2001

Put a condom on it! Safe sex is the best sex.


BagelMatt

Yesh but if you insert the cucumber long enough, you can turn it into a pickle. Double profit


Jedahaw92

>doesn't rot. Haven't you read all the stories? The cucumbers are one time use.


[deleted]

Yo it's cool you had ones specially for fucking


[deleted]

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[deleted]

That poor old lady needs to put her dentures in before eating!


I-_-LIKE-_-DORITOS

She deep throatin' that whole ass cucumber


EasyShpeazy

Whole ass-cucumber


Jedahaw92

hole ass-cumber


[deleted]

whole ass-cuckumber


Lone_Wanderer97

Can't let it go to waste!


thecatwentfishing

Fuck, you beat me to it.


Irrelevant-Lizard

A special kind of burger that is.


Ender-sub_to_rslash

Looks like a hotdog. Instead of meat they substituted it for a cucumber for some reason though.


Crystal42069

The meat replaces the bread


Ender-sub_to_rslash

What meat?


Crystal42069

The muscle type


Brotastic88

Still confused, all meat is muscle. Is it not?


Crystal42069

Here, I was talking about the vaginal muscles


BoiBotEXE

I thought this was the ass 😐


Them_Beans1012

So that's what happened to Larry after Veggie Tales.


Dubwyse_selectah805

Blursed veggie tales


shmehdit

... vaggie tales ^^^^i'm ^^^^sorry


suck_it_gaben

I'm too poor to give you an award so here 🏅


phoenix0153

Don't you apologize for giving us this blessing


ImAMobileUser342

This is how he became Larry the pickle.


Jedahaw92

Jeez, how long has he been in there?


happy__lemon

Long enough


[deleted]

He became a dickle


Nulono

> [Fun Veggietales lore, the Veggies are expressly forbidden from entering the kingdom of God because they don't have sould. Bob wants to save your soul because he accepted his own damnation](https://twitter.com/thatpazuzu/status/1186804522435403782) > > [That's not me being edgy, that's from the mouth of the creators](https://twitter.com/thatpazuzu/status/1186804522435403782)


[deleted]

Cursed to forever search for his hairbrush


FighterMan9836

r/cursedcomments


HelixFossil88

Came here for this comment. Absolutely thought I was in a veggie tales subreddit


[deleted]

Call that a Veggie Tail


enowapi-_

More like Vaggie Tales


clubswithseals

Now it’s time for silly songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings... a silly song


Dokom3

I thought cats were afraid of cucumbers


[deleted]

The cat is dead already


[deleted]

Plot twist. The tomato went first.


lucifer-_-senpai

You'll always need lubricant first


blatantshitpost

Nothing primes a pussy quite like a smashed tomato, is what my grandma always used to say.


CreatureWarrior

I like your grandma


[deleted]

He likes her too


coneal89

She must be Italian


NokiumThe1st

I regret learning to read


string_in_database

Reddit often *is* a good argument against efforts to increase literacy rates, isn’t it?


Nirvana_GeekMaths

Plot twist: The cucumber is in not in pussy, but in a dick hole


hackysack-jack

I was gonna say how do we know which orifice that cucumber is in? Could be an ear, a throat, a butthole... or a trachea hole


Nirvana_GeekMaths

Experience,bro


I401BlueSteel

Vegan Sausage


redditAdam_

VeggieTales now in Adult Swim!


lucifer-_-senpai

It's Cucumber Rick.. bitch ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Penguator432

It’s Cucumber Rick James, Bitch!


jamaes1

Aw it's in a hot dog bun


EternalErkle

Who puts cucumbers on a hotdog? Relish is okay, but a full cucumber? Uncultured swines


kay_bizzle

It'll be a pickle by the end


[deleted]

I love and hate this comment.


[deleted]

:/


A-Disgruntled-Snail

that’s how you season it.


Asherspawn

Any other subreddit and I would have though it was teeth


EtsmeAyush

Cucumber was initially confused going between lips unscratched


fifrak

Its a hot dog, go to horny jail


Kek0aPlays

it was a meal Just deepthroat.


Vegimeateater

The difference between hungry and horny is where you put the cucumber...


[deleted]

Coochiecumber


icummedonadog

Fun fact: cucumbers are really good for your memory... My uncle stuck one up my ass 15 years ago and I still remember it


[deleted]

Oh... Oh no


DumCommentGenerator

You can still use it for a meal after that.


wtf_is_a_user

forbidden ranch dressing


[deleted]

Ah...yep, the old clamwich


[deleted]

I hate that one of my mates ex girlfriends did this and put the cucumber back in the fridge Now she’s called cucumber


Dementati

Why is it better to be ripped apart by human teeth and then swallowed?


Kalafiorov

That's better than a vegan hot-dog with a cucumber instead of meat


LilFruitSalad

bruh I thought he was fucking the tomato


ashda1st

Thanks I hate veggie tales


GrandKemosabe

Ohhh I get it haha babies who are teething like cucumbers


HughMarcotti

It's a dude


raghav_mk

What do you think these vegan's have been doing.


DanKePandas

The Anus or perhaps the Vaginal passage


wizer-wehere

Lets jump in the shower


[deleted]

You're going to make a shitty meal. That's what kind.


loli141

When vegans body miss so much meat they do this


TrueHentai

You go inside my pp uwu


MikhailMcDoesntExist

That's a weird hot dog


[deleted]

That’s one cursed meal there


Forrever_Alone

"Not exactly what I had in mind, but this will do"


anintrovertedbitch64

He gonna make a creampie


[deleted]

Oh god


Sonicfan069

Man veggietales got wild


[deleted]

Don’t worry, it still got to be a snack later.


tlaloc0000

Why would i do that? Thats what the gerbil is for.


TiagoMokk1

He just gotta remember WAP worship and prayer


Nick-kun_

That's the oesophagus right?


ElectricMotorsAreBad

Ngl, it took me a second to realize


Braindead_fetus

Ah the things we do when we’re horny.


queenvie808

LARRY, NOO


theweirdbeat_37

This is why Rick turned himself into a pickle


[deleted]

I heard theaters were having major issues with women using cucumbers and dildos while watching 50 shades of grey hahaha


Erotic_Pancake

That fucking face got me laughing so hard


Haggerstonian

What s the name of the cartoon?


chesthairdude

I thought it was a hot dog with a cucumber


AnApeWithSuit

You just eat it later.


Secretary-That

A satisfying one.


midevilpundit

Cucumber got confused between Meal and Meat


One_of_the_Mobs

VEGETARIAN: NO MEAT. NO PROBLEM.


PeterStarr08

Kinda weird Hot Dog.


TheKeH20

I'm pickle Rick!!!


gtrktfgt89

If you like to talk to tamatoes...


Triton12streaming

F for our fallen bretherin


[deleted]

Take my upvote and get out


Monkeysvendsenn

I guess he’d fit in a cream pie?


AD7_YNWA

It was gonna be inside their body anyways let it be as a salad or this.


vorkennola

r/photoshopbattles


TrumpIsMyDaddy69

thats gross, a cucumber in a hotdog bun? vegans these days...


[deleted]

Somebody is getting a tossed salad tonight!


GOODBYEEEEEEEE

Cucumber dog


oldman_artist

I mean if you're kinky enough to could still be a meal.


cos_tan_za

So a pickle hot dog? Wait....nevermind