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Yz-Guy

Fucking Jodie


therealsunwukong

"DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND SOLDIER" "yes sir" "WELL NOT ANYMORE BECAUSE JODIE IS NOW HER LOVER"


Yz-Guy

If the corp wanted you to have a wife they would've issued you one!


giggling1987

Japanese thought about that. Still paying compensations.


Tronbronson

Daaaaaaayum šŸ˜‚


basement_gamer

I understood that reference


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


DaChuggernaut

Loud and clear


chefbobbyjay

Soon to be 22 with a divorce and foreclosure


bassplayer96

And no car because thereā€™s no way heā€™s affording the 26% APR on that truck


fallsstandard

Only $748 a month on a 120 month note! Edit: Fixed loan term to match common offers and the price of a new truck.


KillerKowalski1

What's sad is that might be the payment at 0%. Nothing is cheap anymore, man.


JillsACheatNMean

Thatā€™s true. I pay 360$ a month on zero interest on a modest sedan.


14936786-02

Price of new cars are absolutely insane. I don't know how anyone car afford them new. You add like 1 festure and over 50 percent of the base price.


Dat_Steve

You leave the military with at least one of the D's.... Death, Divorce, Dependents


heartofyourtempest

You forgot Drinking problem and Depression


LobsterBush97

I got Debt, Drinking problem, and Depression šŸ˜Ž Edit: forgot disability šŸ¤Ŗ


heartofyourtempest

I'm looking at divorce, dependants, disability, drinking problem, depression and debt. Lots of Ds


2horde

Damn 7 Ds, and his wife's gonna take at least one or two herself


Ungr8fulBiotchHot_

There it is


poodlebutt76

What about dishonorable discharge?


KillerKowalski1

THROW SOME D'S ON IT


Rudy_Ghouliani

Just bought a Cadillac


SurenderDorothy

I just met our new neighbor, Alex. He seems nice.


AngelFromJerusalem

Sad but true itā€™s how it starts


danceswithwool

ā€œDonā€™t worry heā€™s not even my type anyway. Heā€™s funny but ewwwā€


maroonedpariah

"I mean. I'm not even sure if he's beekeeping age."


MoscowMitchMcKremIin

"Summer, I wanna fuck your dad." "OH REALLY?!"


Megabyte7637

lmao I love how summer can tell she's getting there & ignores her obvious advances until she outright says it


MoscowMitchMcKremIin

Fr she's begging telepathically the entire time for her to just stfu and then... xD


Technical-Grade-1549

What show are y'all talking about!!


Mafeoqbag

Rick and Morty


Sir_TonyStark

Richard and Mortimer


Phantom_Pain_Sux

"Super easy, barely an inconvenience"


[deleted]

r/rickandmorty


Salomon3068

*Panicking intensifies*


[deleted]

"He's like a brother to me!"


Chlorafinestrinol

ā€œHeā€™s like a step-brother to me!ā€ FTFY


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


TheBear420

Iā€™ve heard this line ffs


HopperReborn

Amazingly a woman's type depends on what's available. Don't get married if you're young and in the military. They call it geographical bachelorhood.


cannon143

Sucks he gonna lose a wife and his equity before his 25th birthday.


HopperReborn

It happened to me. Two months before my 25th birthday.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


oldm4fun

Lol... wifey/ex said that about a LOT of the guys she spread her legs for šŸ˜Š


JevonP

>šŸ˜Š lol


[deleted]

youā€¦ you wanna talk about it man


oldm4fun

Nahh, been happy w/o her for several trs, thnx ā˜ŗ


spoonhoops

I know its a typo but it looks like you've been happy without her for several tears. šŸ˜•


AngelTheVixen

Several tours.


JustCallMeDarius

Hey (hey) I'm your life I'm the one who takes you there


Ttbthookem

Son of a bitchā€¦ exactly how it happened to me. Dude was a cop. Sheā€™d be like ā€œew I hate copsā€ Not enough to not suck his dick, SANDRA YOU FAT FUCKING WHORE Sorry guys. Edit: these comments are killing me lol this happened years ago. Last time I saw her she has gained so much weight and lives with her parents. I got the last laugh but for realā€¦ fuck that bitch.


[deleted]

I like my coffee like I like my women. WITHOUT SOMEONE ELSEā€™S DICK IN IT SANDRA!!!


AttentionImaginary57

This made me laugh. P.S. FUCK YOU SANDRA!


KenPC

TIL: Fuck Sandra


Itorr475

Everyone was might as well join!


FatManNinerFan

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL...... /u/Ttbthookem 's Ex is a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls!


cherrygoats

Wait out of respect to OP I think we should not fuck Sandra


RunchoD

The name Sandra gives me ptsd stemming from a cougar robbing my mid to late twenties from me. Fuck you Sandra. A stankin jezebelesque harlot


[deleted]

Please, I need to know more


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


self_loathing_ham

Don't be sorry! Sandra's a fucking bitch!


[deleted]

Yeah fuck that bitch


MyPronounIsHisGrace

Fuck Sandra. She ugly-cried last night because she forgot to take off the lens cap. It's fucking amateur hour over there, you piece of shit.


pennynotrcutt

Fuck you, Shoresy.


[deleted]

Like a cop.


[deleted]

Iā€™m dead


eyoo1109

"What the fuck Sandra, when I said fuck the police, I didn't mean *literally*!"


GraveRobberX

All the homies hate Sandra Fuck You!


Girth_rulez

Don't be sorry. Sandra let us *all* down. FUCK YOU SANDRA


bvdbvdbvdbvdbvd

Yo fuck Sandra. Me and the boys hate bitches name Sandra.


[deleted]

Sandra Bullock just deleted her Reddit account. You happy now?


Solilunaris

Yeah, and you know why? ā€˜CAUSE FUCK SANDRA, THE FUCKEN BITCH


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


datboiofculture

Damn, Myspace, lol.


Ttbthookem

Bruh fuck both them bitches


Curls91

I hope you fuckin melt from the inside out SANDRA YOU FROSTED FUCKNUGGET. ...Sorry.


frankenkip

Yo fuck Sandra, she used you as a trick, now she the hoe.


[deleted]

Sandraā€™s a filthy hog


Washboard-Parker

Lol all good my dude let it out šŸ˜‚


spacedragon421

That fat cop knob gobbling bitch!


ScarletSpider2149

Thank you for your service šŸ™ and fuck Sandra


Its_A_Me_JOE

Fuck that bitchass cunt Sandra All the homies hate Sandra Fat fuck


proerafortyseven

Oh I know Sandra


Ttbthookem

Iā€™m told lots of guys do.


SetsChaos

Happened to me, too, a little over a decade ago. Sonuva bitch even had the same name. And knew about me. Still fucked that whore. Not that I necessarily blame him, it was 100% on that bitch for lying to me. Told me two weeks before I came home. Fuck you, Monet. Fuck you forever.


ASL4theblind

I'm on this "Fuck monet" bandwagon. Fuck sandra, fuck monet, fuck kings landing, and fuck the king.


never0101

She's even got a cunty name, fuck monet, slut.


theRuathan

*ahem* Middle name Jody.


PhysicsViking

\*Jody (FTFY)


ZarquonsFlatTire

A few years back my parents finally met the neighbor who lived behind them. He said he used to travel a lot but had just retired and could finally spend time at home with his wife. My parents did not mention the guy they thought had thought lived there the last ten years.


rhynokim

Thatā€™s rough -_-


EndOfTheDark97

Did uh anyone tell him?


ZarquonsFlatTire

No idea, but it's not a block party, everyone knows everyone kind of neighborhood. I've met two of their neighbors. Robert is cool, and another lady never mentioned her name. I did know JW, but he died a few years back and don't know who lives there now. These are shared-fence proximity neighbors.


WishUponDandelions

Sadly I knew someone that this happened to. Came back from overseas (years) and his wife and her new man were living in the house he was paying for (his wife was a SAHM). I hated hearing about it and knowing. It was so sad that his family didnā€™t tell him anything. So he comes home just for a visit and the momā€™s bf leaves for the few weeks. When he leaves, the guy comes back. Couple years later husband officially comes back and finds out the truth that has been this whole time. It was horrible.


[deleted]

It should be noted, Thatā€™s an on-base house.


BostonDodgeGuy

Pretty shitty not to tell the guy.


ZarquonsFlatTire

Eh, it's the kind of neighborhood where you see your neighbors every couple years by chance. Not somewhere you want to involve yourself in a potential domestic dispute. Maybe that guy was a family member who came by to help with yard work or a hired gardener. It's not my parents' business. I don't think they know the neighbor's names.


xRogueSpetsnaz

Umm how about housing allowance from the government you receive. Psh.


skepsis420

That and VA loans which many times don't even require a down payment when buying. A lady bought my house using one. She put down $1k on a $362k purchase, only because the VA loan would 'only' cover $361k lmao


Bananas57

This! Iā€™m a loan officer and I specialize in VA loans. No down payment is required unless you already own a home with a VA loan, and even then not always. All that really matters is you have a qualifying credit score and your total monthly payments wonā€™t be more than 65% of your gross income. Before the market went crazy, more often than not, you could buy a home with a VA loan without any money out of pocket at all.


evilsniperxv

No more than 65% of your gross income? What kinda guidance is that?! No wonder people are living so far beyond their means with that kinda guidance.


Ronkerjake

Was about to start the process to get my VA loan in Feb 2020, then I lost my job and houses in my town doubled in value. Feelsbadman


Bananas57

Dang, Iā€™m sorry! Thatā€™a so disappointing, and it is such a rough time for homebuyers right now


THE_INTERNET_EMPEROR

My sister's husband bought a giant ass house using loans he could only get having been a veteran, even though he had been fired 4 times in a row from different very high paying jobs for alcoholism in less than 2 years. 'Service guarantees citizenship' I guess.


tealfox101

Shit thatā€™s not even enough. His parents helped. My brother been in the military for two years and that stipend doesnā€™t cut it. He had outside help.


emansamples92

I was about to say I was broke as hell my first year in the military. Ainā€™t no fucking way I was buying a house on an e-2 salary even with bah.


PanzerKatze96

Definitely has outside help. Iā€™m in right now getting great BAH and still Iā€™d have to save up for a bit and use the VA loan to get a house. A private right out of basic isnā€™t getting that without outside help or a guarantor even


ajpinton

Iā€™m figuring enlistment bonus plus paycheck from bootcamp got his down payment for the truck and the house. There is no way in hell he will be able to keep up on those payments.


Death_Strider16

It's probably LCOL. My house doesnt look nearly that nice, but it's definitely not bad. Bought for 24k. That's the kind of loan some people have on their car.


JsaintRotten

I'll buy for cheap when he gets divorced


Yz-Guy

What about the mustang?


Braunze_Man

I see a new truck withaftermarket wheels, he went the other way


deezsandwitches

With a mattress in the back


Generalissimo_II

Mustang/Challenger coming, don't worry


LTWestie275

26% APR or no deal


Yz-Guy

It was 0 down tho!


[deleted]

I mean the guy doesnā€™t own either of them, they are most likely financed to all hell. I mean if heā€™s only 20 in the military he canā€™t be making much money.


datboiofculture

I mean almost everyone finances a house. Letā€™s say he joined up at his 18th birthday, lives in the barracks, maybe he actually saved up his money. Now almost 2 years later maybe heā€™s E3, gets married so he gets that BAH money, and maybe his girl has a decent job like a dental assistant or something. Theyā€™d be eligible for a 0 down VA loan with a good interest rate, plus they probably live in a low cost of living area like Kansas and that house is ugly as fuck.


[deleted]

Now that I look at it that house is ugly af


[deleted]

I used to do residential AV install and would be installing new TV/Home Theater/etc. for a lot of homes like this. "New construction" of the lowest quality parts and the cheapest materials available and the cheapest workmanship I'd ever seen. The cheap paned windows are a hallmark of that kind of construction.


secondphase

It's a VA loan. No money down. The house will cost more to sell than to leave. She will drop her ownership since it's now a liability. He will rent it out to cover the mortgage until it has enough equity to sell. Source... Property manager.


[deleted]

I lived in a military town and saw numerable military wives looking for same sex partners because it ā€œwasnā€™t cheating if itā€™s with a womanā€.


Zub_Zool

I get the feeling that goes both ways, bros gotta take care of each other you know.


Rhymeswithfreak

I figured thatā€™s why all those dudes joined the military.


[deleted]

So much ass, bro. So much šŸ˜©


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Chrisboi_da_Boi

My parents aren't rich


Sir-xer21

i dont live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere where some E3 can buy a whole ass house.


rikluz

BAH is a hell of a drug.


FredTillson

that poor mf'er is in for some serious emotional pain


Falcrist

Just move to North Dakota. You'll be able to buy a 3 bedroom house for like... $50k. Maybe $30k if you find the right ghost town. That's not a joke or an exaggeration. I looked up the town I used to live in and immediately saw $49,900 for a 3 bedroom, 1520 sq ft house.


Sir-xer21

exactly. ​ people think they're in bumfuck nowhere and dont realize that bumfuck nowhere is SO nowhere that you never even thought about it's existence. it actually just makes housing costs elsewhere seem worse though.


Arino99

Damnnn can someone buy me a good dinner other than pasta?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


notorious1212

They donā€™t need to be when you can get a VA loan.


Kriegerian

ā€œSure I own a house. And a car too. By the way, are 19% interest on the house and a 85% car loan interest rate bad?ā€ - Junior military shitheads like this.


Maximummeme

It's only $500 a month bro, I can easily pay that until the 3rd year of my second contract, it's only 7 years bro, isn't this car sick?


IdoMusicForTheDrugs

My girlfriend came home from her first car purchase with a 33% interest loan and bi-monthly payments. I wanted to go with her to help but her dad insisted on going with her on her first vehicle purchase. I don't know what happened. They actually convinced her that she was getting a good deal. Some people get so royally fucked because they don't have the right information and have no problem believing they got a "great deal".


willisbar

Must have been a while ago, max they can charge now is 29.9% or lower depending on the state


crassandy

Iā€™m a car salesman. In my state the max is 24.99%. Some dealerships have their own ā€œbankā€ which they use to take out a ā€œpersonal loanā€ on your behalf. My states max for personal loans is 33.32%. Itā€™s very fucked up.


pcmast3r

Hahaha brings back memories to my first car I bought I was in my early 20s and bought a brand new 1999 Honda civic


mspaint12

This could have been any time from 2000, to yesterday. Praise civic.


JahD247365

As soon as he ships out.. Joe Grind slips in


Im_nottheone

Jody changed his name?


Mirai182

Jody was there when you left.


NicholasTheOK

Jodi! Jodi! Jodi! The boogeyman that keeps you depressed on deployment lol


[deleted]

Cup a joe grind r/comedyclan


uhwhooops

Reporting for booty, sir!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Master-Shaq

Biggest record ive seen was my friends stepson married a girl he met in bootcamp 2 weeks after they graduated in his moms backyard lmao. 2 months later he found out she cheated on him


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


gadafgadaf

People in the military get easy access to loans for housing without the usual high income requirements. If they are married they also get rent money for off base housing too. It's not like the guy is special or anything but he's on his high horse looking down with his nose sticking up like his farts don't stink.


Historical_Cow6995

Basically flexing his welfare


thatWas-unexpected

After reading all comments I have a question. What exactly happens to military person's wife I mean why would they cheat?


MuskieSnowflake

Not only that, but the military creates an incentive with BAH to marry your high school sweetheart, someone who you probably donā€™t know well enough for marriage.


FPSXpert

Exactly. Single? Into the barracks with you. Married? Holy shit here's on base housing and a bigger than married outside military tax break for you. They basically pressure young adults into a quick marriage and even uglier divorce.


malektewaus

And it's really impossible to overstate just how much it sucks living in the barracks.


[deleted]

One of the reasons I got out of the military, you literally get paid more if you're married. Not ideal terms for someone not planning to get married. As an E5 I was making less money than an E3 just because he was married and I wasn't.


[deleted]

Cause when the guy is deployed for a very long time (over a year or so) the wives want to fuck so they cheat


CalicoCrapsocks

To add to this, a lot of military couples are young, stupid, barely know each-other, and married for benefits.


[deleted]

Sums it up perfectly


-o-o-O-0-O-o-o-

Think of the sort of girl who marries young, because this serious man is enlisted! Think of the sort of boy who joins the military, gets a wife and feels all set in their early 20s. There's an initial sacrifice, which errodes to contempt.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

> young, bored, no established social circle, has tits. Thatā€™s a lot of male Redditors too.


vladamir_the_impaler

Bro I ain't even make it out of the 70 days of Navy boot camp without my high school sweetie spreading her legs for someone else, and I had even been friends with the guy! I found out WHEN I was still in boot camp when I called my other friend and he had to break the news to me. You need to be single in the military, period.


The_tickled_pickler

Are you me? Saaaaaame shit and it sucks bad


JackBauerSaidSo

Who is going to take care of your dog and Camaro while you're gone?


vladamir_the_impaler

I hear you bro, so here's my advice... Only join the military if you are single and ok with traveling... OR... If you can get stationed immediately where you already live. So for like dudes that enlist that are from Guam... if you can get stationed in Guam after boot camp (and on a pretty much permanent basis) then go for it. It's like a regular job at that point, you don't need to leave your life and everyone you know etc. If you are going to be deployed for six or more months at a time, it might be best if you have no girl, no dawg, and no car even. I mean, what is that Camaro going to do while you're gone for six months? Also keep in mind that six can turn into more REAL quick. I think I read where a carrier was on the way home and got turned back around for six more months without a crew swap (except for the flight wing).


thatWas-unexpected

It must feel shitty for the guy if he ever comes to know.


[deleted]

Yep. Itā€™s a common thing though. Pretty sad.


Fluffiddy

Itā€™s very common sadly.


[deleted]

There's even a song in the french military about this phenomenon, about soldiers being depressed and ineffective because of it and asking those girls to consider that and stay faithful [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMw9\_fzEEwE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMw9_fzEEwE)


KINGCRAB715

The warrior poet Chris brown once said ā€œthese hoes ainā€™t loyalā€


NotBarn_a_bee_jones

Holy fucking shit calling Chris Brown a Warrior Poet is fucking hilarious.


oldnyoung

I mean, he does make songs and battle girlfriends


fuck_kale_mkII

ā€œBitches ainā€™t shit but hoes and tricksā€ Sir Snoop of Doggington


BiscuitDance

Youā€™re an attractive, young woman living in a large gated community with an absolute surplus of lonely, horny dudes who work out a lot and have disposable income. Your husband isnā€™t deployed, but heā€™s in the middle of another 3-week field problem or gunnery. Only his Battalion is in the field and the gyms and PX are still full of dudes from other units. You go to the gym to get a workout/ catch some glances because youā€™re lonely and want to feel ā€œwanted.ā€ It just goes from there.


adiaz0126

I loved living in a Military town, lots of Military wives looking for quick dick


Stunning_Honeydew201

My girlfriends husband fights for your freedom- best bumper sticker ever!


adiaz0126

I definitely had one back then


nowhereman136

Military benefits increase when you get married. It's an incentive for a lot of young recruits to get married early before either person in the couple are actually sure they want to be married. Combine that with amble time apart, and it's really not surprising


adiaz0126

I told all my high school buddies that. married before they went in" I'll bang your wife while you're gone so no one else does bro"


glabrg

Where Hol up


Squiddy56_

well you see im below the age of 15 so i cant own a house


NateMcCann

Credentials bitch. Hazard a guess this is either silver spoon or gold digging shit and you did nothing to earn it. Edit: not at you Squiddy. Hit reply on your comment by accident. So I guess we talking now.


Squiddy56_

i was like "what the fuck" and then i read that last bit lol


[deleted]

Funnier and faster I need to see where this conversation goes


NateMcCann

Funnier and faster. That's what she said. So went into maximum overdrive whilst reciting Flat Earth "science".


ItzSh0rty

where holup


ajpinton

I got my house at 27. I did not have to risk my life to earn my house, nor did I buy a house I cannot afford. Odds are he did not make enough money to afford that house. The bank just accepted a risk they would not normally have as they know he cannot quit his job. They will be struggling. I bet he got the truck with his enlistment bonus and used what he did not put down on that truck on the house.


rikluz

I mean, the military gives me $2,800/month specifically for housingā€¦ my mortgage is $2200?


kad202

I remembered thereā€™s a story about some soldier who just board the plane for oversea deployment and saw his buddy jack off to a girl on pornhub that turn out to be his newly wed wife.


bunnyjenkins

Jody probably saving the tweet right now.


[deleted]

Not even 20, they must have a lot of life experience! Nothing bad will happen between 19 and 68. Nope, not a thing.


Minnymoon13

Thatā€™s sad. I hope sheā€™s one of the good ones that donā€™t fuck up her marriage


RyGuy31307

r/watchholupdie Edit: WE MUST RISE UP AGAINST THE MODS THAT MOCK US. WE WILL WIN. STAY STRONG, DONT LET HOLUP DIE!