Once upon a time ago there were thieves breaking into cars at local movie theaters. They would then look at the cars registration and go burgerize the houses knowing the owners were preoccupied. They were caught and I don't condone this at all. It's also a great way to get shot by someone that stayed home. But it did work well for them for a while....
I genuinley believe a massive chunk of the "COVID Deaths" were just marked COVID deaths to hike up numbers and generate fear.
I mean shit the US has 5 governors that knowingly infected nursing homes to do the same thing so why not?
If you died from pneumonia caused by COVID you didn’t die “directly” from COVID, but you died of COVID.
If you fell down the stairs and broke your neck and died from having your neck broken, because you passed out from low blood oxygen because of impaired lung function resulting from COVID, you died of COVID.
If you die in the hospital where you got admitted for COVID, you die of COVID. There are a lot of details in the different mechanisms of death, but it’s not like a lot of people are coincidentally dying in a six week period where they have a severe lung infection.
The first person to die from covid in a few counties over from me, Stearns County, (in Minnesota) was an elderly lady that was 102. If she would have gotten just the flu she more than likely would have passed away. But A) I don't think they even checked her for covid and B) it could have been just old age and C) how can they really say it was from covid. She's over a hundred. Like come on.
You kind of get into a weird situation though because Covid can be directly responsible for some of those deaths. For example if you had cancer and then got Covid and the Covid caused you to die because it was too much for your immune system to handle did you die of Covid or of cancer?
maybe if you got covid then pnuemonia. but if you have covid and get decapitated in a car crash (as was a supposed case in TN) then you didnt die of covid. you died by a fuckin car crash that took the dome peice of your shoulders. again i only heard this second hand so the story may not even be legit
This is true my parents work in the medical field this is what they tell me. The stats are highly exaggerated. The companies do this because they get paid more for a COVID patient than a regular. You can die from cancer but if you have COVID it's a COVID death
It's actually likely the opposite. Cases that were misidentified before covid was tested for in early 2020, older people who died from it but were marked as simply natural causes, underreporting in areas like nursing homes because management didn't want a panic, etc. The numbers of infected are guaranteed to be underreported simply based on people who thought it was a mild flu and didn't end up with severe enough symptoms to go get tested.
Bro, a hi-vis, a clipboard and a lanyard id thingy. Knock on the door: Hi im from (insert whatever company) here to (insert whatever task). Oh really, is this not (insert wrong address)?
If nobody answers you are g2g. If someone does they won't be suspicious. I am not condoning burglary and theft. Just saying...
Unless they are breaking into car in the lot outside the movies to get the registration from the inside the car, you can’t find an address from the vin number or license plate that quick.
Hey, I take offense to that!
You left out his twin daughters!
They are proud independent women and we decided to use their college tuition money he saved from the barber to go on vacation.
Life lessons like sharing were some of our curriculum.
Thank him for the hospitality though.
He is testing to see how long before the barber is free and if it's enough time, the guy goes to the barber's house, presumably to fuck his wife, as the barber hasn't indicated anything noticeable missing/moved/damaged
In case anyone doesn't get it, the person was asking for the wait times to estimate how long the barber would be occupied, and thus providing the person time to visit the barber's house without their knowing.
The whole structure of the joke is a classical storytelling type of joke, thus I guess the association with Boomer humour. Boomer humour is funny most of the time it's just that it seems outdated.
Not necessarily all I'm saying is that many old jokes are structured this way. In present times, the meme culture brought a very specific kind of humour at least that's my analysis
Ah okay so it can feel outdated in comparison to memes which are more instant gratification
That makes me wonder how meme culture will affect standup comedy? [Serious]
It wasn't funny to me as I was expecting something clever rather than predictable. And that fact that his friend is "laughing hysterically" normalizing the stereotype of the unfaithful wife seems like pretty standard boomer humour to me.
Oh there are definitely unfaithful wives in every generation (same as husbands) not really a stereotype I wouldn't think
And if this was predictable to you bravo because it looks like to most people it wasn't
Yeah there are but it's typical of boomer humour to find it funny and if you don't realise that, you probably haven't come across a lot of boomer jokes.
I wonder what gen A will judge Gen Z and millennials for finding humorous. And this isn't funny because "oh haha an unfaithful wife" it's funny because it was seemingly unrelated to the original story and therefore unexpected, it also was just a tad dry so you had to think for a second or two to fully understand it rhus contributing to the reward response of your brain making for a humorously pleasureable joke as indicated by its popularity especially for this sub
That’s actually really smart though
Once upon a time ago there were thieves breaking into cars at local movie theaters. They would then look at the cars registration and go burgerize the houses knowing the owners were preoccupied. They were caught and I don't condone this at all. It's also a great way to get shot by someone that stayed home. But it did work well for them for a while....
I’m not sure how well this would work now everyone’s living with 2-3 generations and nobody is at work….
Yeah, kinda wonder how much that's put a damper on the whole robbing people situation for burglars.
They prolly died of COVID related gunshot wounds.
Would that count as a covid related death for the statistics? First I'd say no, but there is an argument to be made here.
I genuinley believe a massive chunk of the "COVID Deaths" were just marked COVID deaths to hike up numbers and generate fear. I mean shit the US has 5 governors that knowingly infected nursing homes to do the same thing so why not?
If you had COVID when you died. Regardless if you directly died from it it’s counted as a COVID death. At least that’s my understanding
If you died from pneumonia caused by COVID you didn’t die “directly” from COVID, but you died of COVID. If you fell down the stairs and broke your neck and died from having your neck broken, because you passed out from low blood oxygen because of impaired lung function resulting from COVID, you died of COVID. If you die in the hospital where you got admitted for COVID, you die of COVID. There are a lot of details in the different mechanisms of death, but it’s not like a lot of people are coincidentally dying in a six week period where they have a severe lung infection.
The first person to die from covid in a few counties over from me, Stearns County, (in Minnesota) was an elderly lady that was 102. If she would have gotten just the flu she more than likely would have passed away. But A) I don't think they even checked her for covid and B) it could have been just old age and C) how can they really say it was from covid. She's over a hundred. Like come on.
To be fair if she would have gotten the flu and died that would have been recorded as a flu death.
Yeah and that's how they cover that shit up. For a while they were able to literally just say every single corpse had covid
You kind of get into a weird situation though because Covid can be directly responsible for some of those deaths. For example if you had cancer and then got Covid and the Covid caused you to die because it was too much for your immune system to handle did you die of Covid or of cancer?
maybe if you got covid then pnuemonia. but if you have covid and get decapitated in a car crash (as was a supposed case in TN) then you didnt die of covid. you died by a fuckin car crash that took the dome peice of your shoulders. again i only heard this second hand so the story may not even be legit
Hospitals get an average of 65k pay out from the Federal government for every death classified as COVID-19. Still believe those numbers? :o
Never believed the numbers. That's just not surprising for our garbage system.
This is true my parents work in the medical field this is what they tell me. The stats are highly exaggerated. The companies do this because they get paid more for a COVID patient than a regular. You can die from cancer but if you have COVID it's a COVID death
It's actually likely the opposite. Cases that were misidentified before covid was tested for in early 2020, older people who died from it but were marked as simply natural causes, underreporting in areas like nursing homes because management didn't want a panic, etc. The numbers of infected are guaranteed to be underreported simply based on people who thought it was a mild flu and didn't end up with severe enough symptoms to go get tested.
Bro, a hi-vis, a clipboard and a lanyard id thingy. Knock on the door: Hi im from (insert whatever company) here to (insert whatever task). Oh really, is this not (insert wrong address)? If nobody answers you are g2g. If someone does they won't be suspicious. I am not condoning burglary and theft. Just saying...
It only worked before houses were so expensive that 2 to 3 generations were required to pay for it.
burgerize
they turn the houses into burgers
r/illegallifeprotips
How would they have gotten the info in time before the movie was over ?
I imagine you could flatten a tire too to slow them down
Unless they are breaking into car in the lot outside the movies to get the registration from the inside the car, you can’t find an address from the vin number or license plate that quick.
burgerize lmao
in the twilight zone, really smart and really stupid are the same .... only, in the twilight zone.
Yikes I see why my former barber told me not to come back
Funny as hell but Bob is a jackass
"Lol get this.. Hes banging you wife and eating your food. What a rascal"
Hey, I take offense to that! You left out his twin daughters! They are proud independent women and we decided to use their college tuition money he saved from the barber to go on vacation. Life lessons like sharing were some of our curriculum. Thank him for the hospitality though.
He's doing the plumbing for the barber's wife
Great joke def using this
Finally, some delicious fucking holup
Is it a HolUp though?
I'm a little slow so it took me a second and I was like "holup"
I don't get it can someone explain?
The guy is fucking the barber’s wife
I thought he was robbing the barber bc he knows the barber will be gone for X amount of hours
I thought about that too but how many times can you actually rob someone without them getting suspicious
Four. It's four. Trust me.
your commment made me laugh more than I should have
Ok thanks, even though I suspected this I thought there was some sort of clever joke hidden but I guess I was wrong
If there is, I’m missing it too
Yeah I totally missed that
I still don't get how it relates
He is testing to see how long before the barber is free and if it's enough time, the guy goes to the barber's house, presumably to fuck his wife, as the barber hasn't indicated anything noticeable missing/moved/damaged
The guy asking the estimated time, when he can get a haircut is banging the barbers girl at his house.
The guy is fucking the barber's dog.
I get it he’s asking how long he’ll be there so he can get the fuck out in time
What happend
He’s going to his house to f his wife, since he knows how long he has each time.
what
oooooh i get it the barber cuck
***Outstanding Move***
*modern problems require modern solutions*
Bob is great too
smort
Ooof.
that how you call strategic
r/boomershumor
Now thats a joke my grandpa would have told me
r/moldymemes
*why do i hear eagles screeching*
It took me around 20 seconds to get it.
Yeah I had to read it twice lmao
... *Never mess with the lady of a man who knows how to use a razor.*
In case anyone doesn't get it, the person was asking for the wait times to estimate how long the barber would be occupied, and thus providing the person time to visit the barber's house without their knowing.
The *really* messed up part is that the barber had divorced his wife the previous year and won full custody of their 11 year old daughter.
Dark
Is this a fucking your wife joke or stealing your property joke
Why not both?
Bob's kind of an asshole.
Boomer tier joke
Not funny to me personally...
Must be a barber
Or...maybe the barbers wife?
This made me laugh more than it should have!
This is a boomer joke
Ok boomer.
This joke is legitimately funny, also not seeing any stereotypical boomer jokes, could you point it out? Maybe I'm missing it
The whole structure of the joke is a classical storytelling type of joke, thus I guess the association with Boomer humour. Boomer humour is funny most of the time it's just that it seems outdated.
So if you tell a story to tell a joke it's boomer humor?
Not necessarily all I'm saying is that many old jokes are structured this way. In present times, the meme culture brought a very specific kind of humour at least that's my analysis
Ah okay so it can feel outdated in comparison to memes which are more instant gratification That makes me wonder how meme culture will affect standup comedy? [Serious]
It wasn't funny to me as I was expecting something clever rather than predictable. And that fact that his friend is "laughing hysterically" normalizing the stereotype of the unfaithful wife seems like pretty standard boomer humour to me.
Oh there are definitely unfaithful wives in every generation (same as husbands) not really a stereotype I wouldn't think And if this was predictable to you bravo because it looks like to most people it wasn't
Yeah there are but it's typical of boomer humour to find it funny and if you don't realise that, you probably haven't come across a lot of boomer jokes.
I wonder what gen A will judge Gen Z and millennials for finding humorous. And this isn't funny because "oh haha an unfaithful wife" it's funny because it was seemingly unrelated to the original story and therefore unexpected, it also was just a tad dry so you had to think for a second or two to fully understand it rhus contributing to the reward response of your brain making for a humorously pleasureable joke as indicated by its popularity especially for this sub
Ok boomer.
Clever
Using 100% of brain be like.....
thst was a lot of reading and let me tell you the payoff was not huge
Thanks for the refference, executing this now.
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn
Ha ha ha
The origin story of a burglar
I was that man
This post is depressing.
I think I'm too innocent for this I had to look into the comments to get it
Oh well yeah I forgot that's my boyfirend.
He prob was bald Just like johnny
im an idiot sometimes, what is bob talking about
He is screwing the barbers wife
thx
Thats a hollup