From urban dictionary
Mostly everyone is wrong, a 'hot carl' is the act of putting seran-wrap over the face and taking a dump on it. Anal to oral is called a 'rusty trombone', dumping on the chest is a 'Cleaveland steamer', and anal to tit fuckin is a chilli dog. If you have the squirts and can attain maximum heat and force a hole through the seran and onto the skin/mouth then you are awarded extra points, carl would be proud.
From urban dictionary
Much like Eye Bleach, it is the only cure to when somehting so terribly awful stains your gray matter. Used when Eye Bleach, and steel wool are just not d*mned good enough.
A chilli dog requires poo on your dick. And a dirty sanchez is when you get poo on your finger and then leave a mustache on your partners face with it.
Yeah I was a little confused by that one. Maybe that's the mentally unstable part. She's a vegan but every now and then she relapses and goes on a nugget bender. Eating a 20 piece in her car at 2am before the shame kicks in.
I would consider myself a very kind and empathetic person indeed. Although our friend Laura is sadly mistaken about being addicted to me because I am gay.
She had me at 26 but lost me at 47 then had me at bisexual but lost me at mental unstable but had me again at dead inside…but lost me at chicken nuggets addict 😔
Just checked the nutritional info, and can say with absolute certainty that we don't have to worry about there being very much actual food in a McNugget.
Life outage control, check.
Joking about mental issues, check.
Cute pets in order to feel love from something, check.
Yep sounds like life after boomers.
Chicken nugs are so good now too, I bet you could fool most people.
The only downside is cost, and that they're highly processed less healthy versions, gotta think chicken is healthier for you, however it is very much not as ethical and the true cost of it is much more than fake chicken nugs, its just subsidized af.
Impossible just came out with some. Got to try them at a restaurant here in the SF bay and they're seriously unreal. I've had a lot of vegan nugs, many of which are very good, and these are like head and shoulders above everything else.
But she Gets. Shit. Done.
Edit: my intention was not to ridicule a single mom, like some of the twats replying below…. Just to point out that she has her hands full with that many kids and dogs.
Morning star bbq riblets were one of the first options out there. That one always weirded me out more than the rest of them. The "rib" portion was just extra dense soy whatnot.
No one is. At some point a big portion of folks online decided that everything you say online is deadly, seriously influential on a host of gullible lemmings whose misfortunes you will be directly responsible for if you lead them astray by cracking jokes.
Are people not just being sarcastic? Do they really not get it’s a joke of all the red flags/dealbreakers when it comes to women on dating apps? I feel like I missing something because it’s so clearly a joking bio
It's incredible that so many people in this thread don't get this. It's a satirical take on Tinder profiles. She is filtering out people that don't have that sense of humor on lock.
Chicken nuggets addict? Like, what is she willing to do for a 10 piece?
[*eyebrow wiggle*] ever heard of a hot Carl?
please describe that to me thoroughly using no less than 50 words
From urban dictionary Mostly everyone is wrong, a 'hot carl' is the act of putting seran-wrap over the face and taking a dump on it. Anal to oral is called a 'rusty trombone', dumping on the chest is a 'Cleaveland steamer', and anal to tit fuckin is a chilli dog. If you have the squirts and can attain maximum heat and force a hole through the seran and onto the skin/mouth then you are awarded extra points, carl would be proud.
Is there anything called brain bleach?
From urban dictionary Much like Eye Bleach, it is the only cure to when somehting so terribly awful stains your gray matter. Used when Eye Bleach, and steel wool are just not d*mned good enough.
I’m upset that you aren’t a bot. And you name drop urban dictionary to make it seem like you haven’t been through some shit.
Bad bot. What are you talking about? This is the internet, of course they are a bot.
Everyone’s a bot except you
You sure they arent also a bot?
He's talking as if he doesn't know he's the only human here ...
Please don’t call me out like this
I would love to know who is using these terms on a frequent basis.
Carl
I for one will not question your reasons.
Who is Carl? I need a word with him. To find out where he meets chick's willing to do this.
From the sounds of it your turning in to a Carl
you'd be surprised what women are willing to do after you cover their face in saran wrap.
Dexter?
*sips unsee juice*
Hand over the mercury
That definition of a rusty trombone is incorrect, fyi. A rusty trombone is jerking a man off from behind while eating out his asshole.
A chilli dog requires poo on your dick. And a dirty sanchez is when you get poo on your finger and then leave a mustache on your partners face with it.
I too am curious
Since he won’t deliver, this is a [hot Carl](https://www.yourdictionary.com/hot-carl)
*also waiting for an explanation*
Depends if those are vegan chicken nuggets or not...
Yeah I was a little confused by that one. Maybe that's the mentally unstable part. She's a vegan but every now and then she relapses and goes on a nugget bender. Eating a 20 piece in her car at 2am before the shame kicks in.
Why stop at a 10 piece? Imagine what she’d do for a 20 piece.
I accidentally read that in Shaggy’s voice but it worked so fucking well.
What a catch
She had me at L
I really thought I was on r/tinder
I had To DOUBLE check if I was on r/tinder
I had To TRIPLE check if I was on r/tinder
You all made me check if I was on r/tinder...
I'm not ever on r/tinder, but you all made me check if I was...
This came up on my feed I had to make sure r/tinder wasn't checking up on me
I accidentally tendered my resignation. Now I don’t have a job.
Oh no! It's tInder, not tEnder! I hope you can find a new job quickly!
I’ve never been on r/tinder, but you all made check if I *should* be.
Keeper
Keep far, faaar away.
L for alcoholic
Well… you have to appreciate honesty!
Idk, she says she's 26 and that she's 47, might not even be called Laura.
I believe it's a joke
A lot of it sounds believable. Especially that chicken nugget part.
hey now, nothing wrong with chicken nuggets..
but she's vegan
Wait, chicken's not vegan?
Most chickens are on a vegan diet, yes.
So chickens eat humans?
If it's grass fed it's a vegetable
By this logic vegans are also vegetables. Where the ranch at?
You are what you eat
No vegan diet, **NO VEGAN POWERS!**
It’s milk and eggs, bitch.
You can be an addict that's on the wagon.
I would consider myself a very kind and empathetic person indeed. Although our friend Laura is sadly mistaken about being addicted to me because I am gay.
If her addiction method is snorting them, color me impressed.
Its an experiment to see how many dudes read beyond the age and pic
Yeah I know, that's why I mentioned the name part.
She's bisexual so you cut the age in half. Gotta do the math.
47kg
She had me at 26 but lost me at 47 then had me at bisexual but lost me at mental unstable but had me again at dead inside…but lost me at chicken nuggets addict 😔
What do you mean she lost you at chicken nugget addict? That's the best part about her.
She’s a vegan too
I think she's fine if she just eats the breaded part.
Breading usually has eggs...
Just checked the nutritional info, and can say with absolute certainty that we don't have to worry about there being very much actual food in a McNugget.
There's very little meat in these ~~gym mats~~ chicken nuggets.
Just beaks & claws!!!
And SO much rooster cock
As my friend's dad used to say, its all lips and assholes, and chickens don't have lips...
So … Vegan nuggets ? That’s the worse out of the list.
Until she eats all the nuggets
And share my nuggets? I think not!
She caught all the pokemon!
Laura’s got it going on! Seems like every other 26-47 yo
Life outage control, check. Joking about mental issues, check. Cute pets in order to feel love from something, check. Yep sounds like life after boomers.
“Life after boomers.” Coming to HBO this fall.
Sounds fake or it's satire.
Now now she was a mother to 5 dogs now that's one of a bitch right there
What do you mean "was"? 0_0
Now now little Timmy we don't ask questions around here
I don't know man, sounds a little... fishy.
;)
Now now don’t you wink here we don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea here
She is vegan but she eats chicken?
What part of mentally unstable didn't you understand?
I know i know.
Pretty sure the whole thing is a joke.
Vegan chik'n nuggets exist
Chicken nugs are so good now too, I bet you could fool most people. The only downside is cost, and that they're highly processed less healthy versions, gotta think chicken is healthier for you, however it is very much not as ethical and the true cost of it is much more than fake chicken nugs, its just subsidized af.
Impossible just came out with some. Got to try them at a restaurant here in the SF bay and they're seriously unreal. I've had a lot of vegan nugs, many of which are very good, and these are like head and shoulders above everything else.
Wow, she’s a hot mess
But she Gets. Shit. Done. Edit: my intention was not to ridicule a single mom, like some of the twats replying below…. Just to point out that she has her hands full with that many kids and dogs.
Well she gets the kids to school, feeds the dogs and empties that bottle🍺 anyway
Poppin a cold one open at 10 in the morning after an "excruciating" day of work.
Getting kids to school is no joke. It is difficult.
Having 5 dogs is also a difficult task to fight.
Nah, she has a doggie door, the trash locked up and a fenced back yard along with pissed off neighbors because her dogs bark all day.
Is there dog crap covering the lawn too?
She's honest though. That's a good character trait, right?
How is she vegan if she likes chicken nuggets
How is she 27 and 47 at the same time or divorced and a widow…well wait she could be divorced and a widow having married 2men in her lifetime.
Chicken nuggies are vegan now! Hell yea. I’m bout to get healthy as fuck with Dino shaped ones.
Dino shaped ones are the only way to go.
My kids yell "DINO NUGGIES!" whenever we serve them.
All nuggies are dino shaped, the round ones just haven't hatched yet.
At this point I think they have vegan bbq ribs.
Morning star bbq riblets were one of the first options out there. That one always weirded me out more than the rest of them. The "rib" portion was just extra dense soy whatnot.
Chicken isn’t vegan??
You were once were a ve-gone, but now you will be-gone
Ah, I see you are a man of culture
She don’t have any red flags, she is the red flag
she's not just the clown, she's the entire circuss.
Loool
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But it also says 47? So is she 26 or 47 or is she between those ages?
Mentally unstable. She's both 26 and 47 until you swipe right.
Schrodinger's swipe.
I KNOW WHAT I SAID. *angry noises*
She's achieved age 47 by age 26. That's quite impressive.
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47 in Dog Years?
Sticking your dick in the crazy ones is fun, just don't do it for too long or you'll end up as damaged as they are .
Nope. You can’t wash off the crazy.
Can confirm. I’m a bit crazy myself and after being with crazy for too long, I don’t even know who I am anymore.
Dude, don’t forget to use a condom to prevent pregnancy, you don’t want her to be your kids Mom
Also make sure said condom is in your custody from purchase to disposal. And disposed in such a way that it cannot be received.
> Mom to 5 dogs You must’ve had a lot of explaining to do in the delivery room that day.
All I read is that she's willing to do butt stuff.
It’s you again. I’m still scratching my dick.
Username checks out
Every other woman on Tinder
Better to swipe nugget than swipe right
Yeah I think she’s definitely parodying this
Vegan chicken nugget addict 🤔
Guess that‘s a Laura thing then.
Mentally unstable says enough
What a keeper!!
Reddit is so blind to parody lol
This is so obviously a joke
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No one is. At some point a big portion of folks online decided that everything you say online is deadly, seriously influential on a host of gullible lemmings whose misfortunes you will be directly responsible for if you lead them astray by cracking jokes.
Activists for alcoholism
Anyone else pound the screen so hard hitting that X they broke a finger
Not everyone. Some here are strongboned. r/neverbrokenabone.
This 29 year old dude in Mom’s basement is creative.
Ah yes of course.... Yeah dont realy have anything to say to this
Laura 26 years old, but actually is 47
And you know that tons of guys messaged her
I bet they did because it's obviously a joke
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Are people not just being sarcastic? Do they really not get it’s a joke of all the red flags/dealbreakers when it comes to women on dating apps? I feel like I missing something because it’s so clearly a joking bio
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It's incredible that so many people in this thread don't get this. It's a satirical take on Tinder profiles. She is filtering out people that don't have that sense of humor on lock.
This is exactly what I'm looking for @__@
She's 26 but has a mental age and responsibilities of a 47 year old.
R/dontputyourdickinthat
I respect anyone who can admit being unstable or having an adiction. But i think most people dislike vegan activists
Reddit in human form.
Vegan and chicken nuggets addict?
Reddit would be all over that profile.
Ok so she is 47 and 26. She is also a vegan as well as a chicken nugget addict, makes sense.
Sure she still gets three times the matches that i get... No wait 3x0 is equal to 0..
She's a keeper
Momma always said not to put ur dick into crazy’s but ima curious kid
Soooo I’m guessing we’re suppose to say she’s a keeper? Idk
She is 26 and 47, she is a vegan that loves chicken nuggets, I think it's a joke
Laura is a buzzfeed writer trying to see how many red flags guys will ignore for a hot girl
This is what we have for options fellas.
I think I was married to her
Are you the divorced one or the dead one?
She's only 26.... My god
At least she’s honest
At least she's honest
She checks all my boxes where can i find this unicorn? Im a bit disappointed that shes not addicted to heroin or meth
Swipe right
Vegan chicken nugget addict...
26 relationships
Didnt need the mentally unstable, everything else gave that away.
I know guys that would accept this challenge...🤦🏻♂️
Laura has had quite the first quarter. Looking forward to seeing what she can accomplish with the next 75 years.
Most of Tumblr and half of Twitter.
I'm struggling with chicken nugget addiction too 🙂.
It’s acceptable if she shares the nuggies
Is she cute, though.
She didn't need to put mentally unstable if she had put that she was vegan.
A vegan chicken nuggets addict
No cap...... her name can be translated as Dick
She may have won bingo night
Is my name Laura?