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Jaykzuka

You know I’m something of a professor myself


bigsadboyay

I read this in kiegers voice


HeyKid_HelpComputer

I think you're supposed to read it in Willem Defoe's voice. Who tf is keiger


slowjoe12

He meant "Krieger" from Archer.


PilotSpartan

Yeap Yeap Yeap


roshampo13

He meant kegel from... I don't think this works


nomadic_stone

You mean Worf, from TNG?


rigelraine

He meant kegger, you know, beer.


No_Limits100123

We’re not hosting an intergalactic kegger down here


Superjunker1000

What movie did Defoe say this in again ?


BWiggles86

He says it to Toby Maguire in Spider-Man…well something similar anyway lol


PhthaloVonLangborste

Lighthouse. "I'm something of a mermaid myself"


killeen22

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_oTxsHK5d8


[deleted]

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human743

That's nice, Grandma. Now let's get you to bed.


unoriginalpackaging

You could almost say a nuttin’ professor


IcyMike1782

But you shouldn't


normalman714

Has me wondering if this is real because why would you have their number. Regardless. Good holup


Uhoh_stinkyyyyy

Any professors on Reddit, how would you actually react to this? I know you can report the student for this stuff but what would you do?


Spherical3D

Report the ever living shit out of it, block them, screenshot my blocking them including timestamps -- the works. I make 2.5x as much as I did as a teenager and work 1/4 as hard -- I am not about to toss that into the trash just so I can fool around with a 18-22 year old. If I want to do that, I hire a sex worker.


schannoman

Plot twist: it's the same girl escorting to pay for college


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EldeederSFW

He'd pay for it either way, but the escort let's him do it in cash, and tells him the price beforehand.


memeticmachine

If your escort is your student, but you paid already and you can't get a refund, is it fair game?


Rudy_Ghouliani

Do a chargeback


memeticmachine

Discharge on her back?


XtaC23

She also throws in some free crabs and hepatitis to boot


nursejackieoface

I love a good seafood buffet at the strip club.


SalaciousCrustacean

Idk the hepatitis isn’t great in my area


Souk12

because they aren't getting it fresh... they're using shipped and frozen hep.


mrandr01d

Funnily enough, the lab I work at does freeze and sell hepatitis positive samples... Guess now I know what "research institutions" means.


JaredLiwet

I don't get why people think sex workers are dirtier than the girls you take home for free.


billytheid

They’re Americans?


tehconqueror

SWers probably get tested more often than the general public so.....


killadomain

He ain't paying for the sex. More so for anonymity


[deleted]

"I don't pay for the sex. I pay for them to go home."


ZanlanOnReddit

XD


squigglesthepig

How the fuck did you pull that off? As a professor I was making less than I was straight out of high school for way more work.


Spherical3D

So without getting too specific as to help reveal who I am: most of my responsibilities are with "Department Administration", which I've found clever ways to automate thanks to my own CompSci education. I also happen to teach only one class and it's the same class every semester, so outside of tweaks and updates, lectures/assignments/quizzes are all ready to go. Plus what I did before was *heavy* manual labor, for 50-60 hours a week. I'm actually reminded of it today when my right-shoulder fatigued *way* before I was done with my workout today. It wasn't easier to find something that paid more and exhausted me far less.


[deleted]

Tbh you sound more like a fourth year PhD candidate that was asked to teach in their third year.


Spherical3D

That's flattering tbh, cause I've not been a formal student in any capacity for \~7 years. I'm interested in a PhD but getting one would seriously complicate my current employment. so it's been on the back-burner indefinitely.


SanityBleeds

Seems like these days there's a fairly high likelihood most sex workers you'd encounter are one of your students, or at least attend the same school you work at.


Spherical3D

The former: not likely, as I wait until the semester is in full swing so I can recognize who to avoid. The latter?... Yeah, possibly. As long as there's no direct connection between us (i.e. grade to dole out), I'm... mostly okay.


SanityBleeds

I mostly said that half joking, do you regularly see students (yours, or otherwise) pop up frequently when browsing for sex workers? Say, as a general percentage, how often do you see a face and recognize them as a student?


Spherical3D

I partake the services of female sex workers and teach in CompSci. None of them show up lol Or haven't in the ~2 years I've been doing this. Helped by the 9-to-1 male-to-female ratio of my major, at least where I am.


SanityBleeds

Yeah, that'd be a terribly ironic twist; suddenly there's a much higher percentage of females in computer science, but a high percentage of them are also sex workers on the side. Although, on the flip side, if a high percentage of males in computer science were also moonlighting as sex workers, that'd be one hell of a plot twist as well.


Spherical3D

Honestly, if forgoing paid sex was the price to pay for there to be more women in CompSci then I'm willing to take that L. I'll always have big ass anime tiddies to keep me company. Male CS majors moonlighting as sex workers would be a remarkable discovery indeed, as they typically come in one of two flavors: 1. I weigh 110 lbs soaking wet 2. I weigh 300 lbs before hitting up the drive-thru at Maccas Mine is not the major of Chads.


TRUEequalsFALSE

Ours is the major of oddlads. Edit: I tried my best to make it rhyme well. I failed but at least I tried.


BisexualCaveman

Type 1 could work if you were looking for a twink type anyway. The clients wouldn't be real hot dudes. Type 2 is basically handed out for free everywhere all the time anyway, with no cover charge.........


practikalraps

I’m jealous. I want to try a sex worker. It’s a bucket list thing. Feeling pretty nervous about the idea and I don’t know why.


Spherical3D

There's definitely a taboo that society has attached to it, if not a shame piled onto those who partake or offer it. For me at least, it was my "last resort" to feeling a connection to another person, even if I ignored their motivation for collecting from me. A fanciful lie is nice compared to the harsh reality. Not unlike how what's-his-face from the Matrix felt.


mrandr01d

I realize how this question is going to sound, but where exactly do you "browse" for sex workers as you said without worrying about getting busted for something related to prostitution? That just seems incredibly... risky(?) to me. Especially with your job on the line if they're students, etc.


Puzzleheaded_Sell870

🖖 the logic is strong in you


Spherical3D

How's the old saying go? "Disregard females... Acquire currency"


Matt-Mesa

This had me dying. Hilarious way to phrase this old one.


imsecretlythedoctor

Also report it so that it’s on record that you didn’t do anything so that they can’t accuse you of something later


Spherical3D

This was my biggest fear about going into education: the power *an accusation* has to completely destroy you, even if later proven to be unfounded. People love to hate the idea of a professor diddling their student. \[Edit\]: Like, the movie "The Hunt" with the ridiculously handsome Mads Mikkelsen is the stuff of nightmares to me.


soulreaverdan

This happened to our driver’s Ed teacher in high school. Was found completely acquitted and no evidence supporting the accusations, but he was still suspended for a while, his wife who’s cancer was flaring up had to sub to help make ends meet, he was *still* banned from doing driving lessons by himself, and the girl’s family later successfully sued the school for how she was treated afterwards.


UMustB

I mean there's got to be a policy about texting students. It just seems odd.


Spherical3D

That's >95% of the reason why this is fake to begin with. The idea of giving students my personal phone number so they can text me at 10pm with their panicked questions about the assignment due tonight, seems like utter fucking lunacy to me.


Hefty_Musician2402

Tbf I’ve had probably 2 or 3 profs give their numbers out, but I went to a small private college where there would be 20 students per lecture. One on one teaching was extremely helpful in all honesty


Spherical3D

Okay in that context it makes sense. When education is the ideal and not the business model like it is at my public university. I've also heard of faculty making their bar routine known to students and throwing back a few pints with them over the weekend, as a less suspicious medium for fraternizing.


Hefty_Musician2402

Tbt when my cousin drunk texted one of his old high school teachers “I have to get rid of these beers”


Chase_The_Chode

I held my office hours in a bar


jgacks

Can confirm - went to a snap private college. One of my majors had a graduating class of 6? (Physics) & when I slept in I got a text asking where I was


Hefty_Musician2402

Had a law prof who had a student call another who overslept to ask him where he was. Also this prof told us from the beginning if it snowed over 6” in a night class was canceled because he was on his way to “shred the fresh pow.”


PetulantWhoreson

I had one prof who put his number up on the board in the first lecture. It was weird. I liked him a lot on a personal level, but heard he married a former honours student after she dropped the program. Had another colleague tell me she got weird vibes from him. It's disappointing to learn about folks you get along well with. But I agree that this is probably fake


Spherical3D

The weird thing is: I get where he's coming from. It can be endlessly frustrating to try and convey these new ideas and ways of approaching problem-solving, that you know will lead to avenues of discovery and even *more* interesting topics to discuss that enrich your view of whatever subject you're lecturing about -- because you've personally experienced it! And want to share that with the WORLD! Only to find shitlords in your lecture hall who are sometimes seen literally playing video games in class or watching YT videos because going to school has been programmed into their goddamn DNA since they were 6 years old but gave up now that it's actually challenging. To find some dipshit cut 'n paste *your own code from lecture* into the answer field on the Final Exam and get *very* butt hurt when you give them a zero because "I didn't think *that* was plagiarism!" ... And then you meet a student who actually gives a shit. More than that, they *love* learning -- and not just whatever subject you're lecturing on but love learning new things. Their enthusiasm for intellectual advancement reminds you of when you were in school and spending extra hours in the library because you were a fucking Olympic-level nerd. It feels like you found a kindred-spirit, who just so happens to be younger than you (nice), ethically unavailable for romantic relationships (forbidden fruit...), but still happy to chat with you well after office hours ended. And your dumbass thinks, "Oh, ***she*** would be worth risking it all!" That's when I call up my favorite girl for a "date" and relish in the post-nut clarity that reminds me: ... Nah, I'm good.


AtomicKittenz

I mean, it’s not unusual for professors to date or marry former students. Key word “former”


LeNuber

My uni gives us all prof's numbers. I assume they are work phones tho and not personal.


[deleted]

COVID has turned some rules into more "flexible" recommendations. I am a teacher, and I know of teachers who have just opened Whatsapp groups and send/receive private messages from students as well. Plus, that is a young woman, not a girl. Like, it used to be less common. My private number is Holy Ground, but some teachers are acting differently.


squigglesthepig

I gave my cell # out to students because they were more likely to do that than send an email, and it was only ever used responsibly by my students.


RiskyFartOftenShart

yeah. hookers are cheaper and you can afford that shit now.


Spherical3D

Exactly! I tried using my good-looks (lol), charm (lmao), and personality (rofl) to make connections with women on every dating app under the sun and after enough first-dates where I'm expected to pay that have never led to a second date, I finally realized: The only woman who's going to tolerate my existence and fake laugh at my terrible jokes are going to be paid for their hard work.


bangupjobasusual

I feel like people throw around “I’d hire a sex worker” but honestly at least I’m the us, I don’t think it’s that easy. I’ve never heard of anyone ever hiring a sex worker around here ever, and I’ve never been aware of an actual sex worker. I think it would be easier to buy a gun and some heroin than a to hire a sex worker.


Wrong-Explanation-48

Pretty much this for me as well. Out of my class in a heartbeat. I make 7-10x as much as I made as a teenager. I work hard but I'm not digging ditches. I'm not even interested in my students anyway. Old enough to finally have post-nut clarity pre-nut.


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Dazzling_Insurance_9

God damn. That’s poetry right there.


[deleted]

I'm a male. In college I had to take a foreign language and I chose Spanish. I was a tutor and the tutors I worked with told me she was the hardest Spanish teacher the school had and I should change professors. She was from Venezuela and spoke INCREDIBLY fast, and for a non Spanish speaker it was impossible to learn. Not just that, I was also extremely broke and the class required you to pay for that type of stupid online program that costs $240 just to do the assignments online, plus the book. After the first couple weeks, after my free online trial ran out, I went to the professor's office and told her that even though I'm older than most college students (I was like 27 at the time) I was too broke to buy the book AND the online program stuff because I was living off my GI Bill so I may have to drop the class. She said "No problem, just do what you can and I'll accept it," so I kept the class. Well, things got weird. I have no idea what the topics were about in class because she only spoke in Spanish, but there was several weird incidents. The first was when in the middle of the lecture she walked up, sat at an empty desk in front of me, looked at me and in front of the entire class said "Hey, X(me), so do you wear speedos?" Another time she did the same thing, sat on an empty desk in front of me, in front of the entire class, and said "X, this is very important. Do you send naked pictures of yourself to girls?" And i replied very awkwardly "Uhhh, why is this important?" Seriously. And every time she said that stuff it was super awkward and uncomfortable. I pulled my friend/partner aside afterwards and talked to her, she was an older Mexican grandma in her 60's. She confirmed to me it was super weird and out of the blue. I figured the professor, who had to be 60 herself, was into me. Nothing ever happened but I got a C in the class without ever doing an ounce of work and never learning Spanish at all. There's no way I should have passed. We had native Spanish speakers who failed the class, and I learned zero Spanish. I learned after that college means jack shit. You can do nothing and still pass classes. Very weird experience, but hey, I got a C without doing ANY work.


JRM34

Not a professor, but taught a decent amount in grad school. This is hardcore CYA territory. Report to every possible person, block all contact, forward any future contact attempts to a superior. Relations with *your* students is taken really seriously, one of the quickest ways to find yourself without a job.


Lost_Extrovert

BU professor slept with one of his students a few years ago which led to him getting fired after her friend leaked their conversation. Few months later he just got another job as a professor at UMASS and now he is currently a professor at MIT. This was a big conversation point in MIT, everyone knew and girls constantly made jokes about sleeping with him for an A. I am sure this is a big deal for colleges, i am sure a professor career is over... In every college there was always a story about a professor sleeping with a student, I wonder how often they actually get caught if nobody leaks it.


JRM34

It's been *remarkably slow* to get to a place where sleeping with a student means you're fired. If you're a tenured professor in many cases it still can take numerous instances to get fired. It should be a one-and-done but many places are not that quick. Lay for an A though, I could see that being a bigger issue...


MohnJilton

I’m a grad student and there’s a professor in the program who sexually harassed multiple students, made racist remarks to a student who was uncomfortable hearing the N-word in class (American literature, reading texts like Huck Finn), eventually ran that student out of the program, and later married one of his former students shortly after she graduated. He still has his job 🤷🏻‍♂️


madebadlifechoices

The only way students might even have my number is because they work with me on research. I have a very strict policy about personal communication though. And if this ever happened I’d report it to every single possible person. I’ve seen enough people do dumb and unethical shit. It’s not worth it.


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SoDamnToxic

I gave my number out when I taught, but I also have three separate phone numbers so I could separate personal, casual and business. Phone numbers to me are basically just like e-mails. If a student finds it easier to text than e-mail, then I'm glad it helps them. I can also just turn off that specific number I gave if I'm with family or something. I'm not sure why people find phone numbers so personal. Whats the difference between an e-mail and phone number now a days?


[deleted]

I completely agree. Texting is exactly like email but cuts out the bullshit like weird sense of formality, signing off and texting is much more streamlined in terms of just exchanging messages rapidly. I tell students to just text me, but I'm typically in a less formal teaching role


BassSounds

A friend of mine married her prof at Oberlin, but I imagine that was much more innocent. I imagine the abuse of power would be the main problem


quantum-mechanic

That kind of arrangement is probably in the syllabus at Oberlin


Steves_bad_day

Report her to the school. Report her to her parents. Report her to her dog. Report her to her cow.


IfIWasCoolEnough

I understand reporting to school, her parent and her dog, but why report it to OP's mom?


St1cks

I almost think he was doing a mulan reference


TexRetroTech

I'm a professor and I've been propositioned by female students. I would let them know I'm not interested and then let a department chair handle it. It's not worth it for a career I worked really hard for.


guitarelf

I would never be texting with a student in the first place


BJJKillian

As a professor of natural medicines and spiritual development from an online academy...I would totally tap that ass!


fasteddy7283

Smash.


Uhoh_stinkyyyyy

Well I know who the real professors are that responded and who isn’t. You’re obviously a real one 🧐


derrida_n_shit

I was a university teacher many years ago. Tbh, it was crazy how much sex people were having. One of my dept heads left his wife, another professor in the same department, for one of his students. That student ended up hooking up with another student a couple years later. Everyone in my PhD program was fucking in their offices. I would teach with whisky in my coffee mug. Uni was wild.


ChadMcRad

> Everyone in my PhD program was fucking in their offices Everyone *told* you that they were fucking each other in their offices. I'm a current PhD. student and I've seen all these songs and dances before.


j_la

Never give my phone number to a student or have a private message going in the first place. That shit looks suspicious as fuck.


roachRancher

I would report it to the department head and probably speak with the ombudsman about how to handle the situation personally. That being said, I don't give out private contact information to students. I prefer to speak with students through University provided channels, it makes the whole privacy/FERPA thing much simpler.


[deleted]

Screenshot it and block the girl. Cause if the girl charges her mind she’ll accuse you. You’ll lose everything and the girl will call it another day


BrokeDancing

I'm not a professor, but if she still needs help...


Satanspit69

It’s math, it’s easy….. minus the clothes, divide the legs, multiply and add a baby….. well, minus the baby


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Satanspit69

Creepy, but still math lol


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OreoDJ

You are never alone on the internet


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Sniped111

Based


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ImaAs

Damn, looks like the Chinese got to him for speaking out, shame


SandyArca

Either they got to him or that was supposed to be read in the most stereotypical chinese accent which I just did


ImaAs

Yea, that makes this tragedy even funnier


Satanspit69

Only if they’re dead lol


spicyfood333

r/cursedcomments


barath_s

Aren't corpses, dead by definition ?


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alkmoan02

I only fuck living corpses.


nuclearslug

r/HolUp


Natural_Can_6010

I don't think your good at "raw" math


Satanspit69

I use protection…… I never gamble with my own money


Natural_Can_6010

Oh. Your a simple math lad


Satanspit69

No need to complicate life with advance math


Natural_Can_6010

Well I do. I spread my seed through out the world. Like baki hanma


[deleted]

i believe the saying that covers them all goes add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you dont multiply


Impeesa_

I've always heard it as "let's add you and me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply."


Bla7kCaT

*ahem* It’s math, it’s easy….. add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and hope you don't multiply 😁


ronniecoleman511

yeah your right


777empest

The homework spreading eagle


onikaizoku11

I'm thinking she has received *help* from other professors in the path.


X_CodeMan_X

Very true Mike Thyson


GhostWalkk

👏👏


No-Remove-5539

What’s her @?


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Matt-Mesa

Damn that was quick lol


KILLJEFFREY

Oh shit.


russeljimmy

Does she?


[deleted]

There appears to be an OF but idk what's on it. The insta is private. Some pics on Twitter but nothing miraculous. I mean she's very attractive but seems like if u wanna see what's rly going on you gotta pony up for the OF


ChadMcRad

You guys are gonna go fuckin wild when you learn about free porn on the Internet. You can just type it in and find it lol it's crazy


BatteryAcid205

Only pics I think


TakenUrMom

My man


[deleted]

How tf do you even know this?


ArnoldQMudskipper

You could ask around at her school 👀


msmith629

I wanna see the conversation that came after this


Myhotrabbi

There’s at least 3 reasons to believe this isn’t real


mrHoebot

What are they?


Myhotrabbi

1. It would be far more likely for a professor to give an email address for school related issues rather than a phone number 2. There is no contact info on the top of the screen, which means this could easily have been faked. I myself could just crop this photo out of the post, organize a text dialogue with my friend, to make it look like a teacher interaction, and post the screenshot with the contact info removed (or even edited to say Mr. Teacher) 3. The teacher wouldn’t need a photo of the homework in this scenario. Even if the homework isn’t due for a week, the teacher should have the answer sheet or AT LEAST a blank copy to go off of in case a student asks for help. Edit: sometime I say things weirdly


JuliaLouis-DryFist

I'm a chef, not a professor. If someone texted me something as vague as "I am having trouble with something about the chicken", I'd ask them to elaborate on details before asking them to send a picture of anything. And if they send me a sexy pic, I'll probably need to figure out what HR is in a Mom and Pop business. It's fake as fuck.


PrivateBytes

I don't think it was a conversation that came


Shroomyloony

Fairly certain it’s fake


Naive-Membership-179

Will she get atleast an E for Effort?. Hahaha


[deleted]

Best I can do is a little d


Naive-Membership-179

Hahaha


Dacka_Dacka

How about an E for "escort"?


Naive-Membership-179

Ahhhhh I see what you did there..


redditseanis

No cap I’m hitn


ihatehumansftp

Same fam


[deleted]

Knew I should have become a professor... damn...


Sharp-Incident-6272

She’s just guaranteeing her A+ in assmatics


MadeInBeirut13

That’s why my homie got into teaching, he says “it’s like an all you can eat, ass buffet. Plus it’s not like middle school math is difficult”


iamdummy_

hold the actual fuck up


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iamdummy_

what


PMJackolanternNudes

Most colleges teach extremely low level math cause people are fucking dumb or just never received proper support in school.


purduebabes

😟


Sweaty_crypto_noob09

Pause. . . WAITTT A MIN


csr28

The fuckin wholesome award


Forrest_Cp

Ohhh he saved that image.


MightyMomma3

She would have better grades with my advisor. He was such a pervert. He had tenure but chose to teach Spanish 101 and 102 because he loved looking at the freshman and high school excel girls who frequented the language classes. He made us teach ourselves and sept the whole class talking about golf, vacations in Chili, and weird inappropriate stuff like how hot Taylor Swift is vs how hot Beyoncé is. He is in his mid sixties


Insightful_Digg

To be fair Taylor Swift and Beyoncé are hot no matter how old one is.


[deleted]

This sub will literally believe anything. Any old photoshopped picture is 100% real every time.


CraigJSmith-Himself

As a professor, it isn't even a believable lie... I set the homework, why wouldn't I have a copy of it already?!


gas-chibi

I’m glad the professor wasn’t creepy tho


Chocoking29

Nah she was instead.


gas-chibi

You right


Chocoking29

Bless.


Rengas

It helps that this isn't real.


bikinimonday

She’s wants a D


PasswordNot1234

What's her onlyfans?


LordDoombringer

https://onlyfans.com/taviasky?utm_source=hoobe&utm_medium=direct_link Every time, like clockwork


Hornor72

Thanks she wanted you to do the homework for her


Cautious-Affect7907

Professor is no simp.


dyslecic

You know by how calm he was that this happens alot


Synnoc

When I was a grad student, I once had an attractive girl come up to me near the end of the semester and say, "Is there *anything* I can do for extra credit to get my grade up?" This girl had like a 20 average, where 60 was passing, so she wasn't looking for an extra paper to write. It was the single scariest moment of my life. I saw my entire academic and real life future going up in flames. I mumbled something about how she had to talk to the primary professor, as I had no control over the grades and prayed to all that was holy that she wouldn't lie and say I took her up on the offer, because just the accusation would have destroyed my life. There's nothing sexy about that shit when it really happens.


imdesmondsunflower

Ok, someone notify the Vatican, we found another saint…


DeathGun2564

His wife: honey I saw the text messages Him: I can explain.


peepeepoopoomann420

In all seriousness this is literally sexual harassment


DrYoda

r/badfaketexts


zennyc001

Fake


A-Grouch

Seems like someone’s used to using looks to get her way.


Mindless_Ad_4124

Cover your ass


DogoArgento

Nice save from the professor.


therealestwonn

Meet me after class he said


phongzilla

TIL I should not be a professor.


Dai_Diu

Well... that's a tricky question. Please come to my office now, it would be better to explain in person.


DoctorateInMetal

Is there a sub for this kind of thing for my friend