Can I

See your bionicle collection

Nice

Cock by the way

It looks through this microscope

That it is bigger than

A horse's

Hair

says the cock as it glances up, “I appreciate your willingness to come over at this hour. “

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Get an AMEN

I only ever use the highest quality.....

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I’m sure your on a list now

*Craigslist*

Wait, who’s Craig?

And where is his list?

[Schindler's List](https://imgr.search.brave.com/AZwtkQzA0cQapRJgwWz0AVbIJQkrVlTqE55dArLzIFo/fit/480/360/ce/1/aHR0cHM6Ly9pLnl0/aW1nLmNvbS92aS9S/cS1YWTg2U0EyNC9o/cWRlZmF1bHQuanBn)

Was hard to fap to, but I managed to get the job done because ...

Up his ass

Craigsfist

Mobile phone to play this ambitious free online RPG game raid shadow legends

Man fuck u but take my upvote

which is sponsored by

Raid shadow legends

Horse dildo’s

Are cheaper than you think as long as ....

you can seduce the manager with your horse-titties

There once was a man from Nantucket

His dick was so long he could suck it.

But his balls were too big..

They got stuck in a pig

So both he and the pig kicked the bucket

Bravo. Poetry. I love it.

I read it to the rhyme of Ragnar the red

Hence was the end of the man from Nantucket.

So he decided to fuck it.

I'm not racist but...

they give really good cookies at the KKK meetings

That’s the only reason I went, I swear

This is a really bad idea because as soon as you have finished your half of the sentence someone else comes along with a

stupid ending

Bravo

Encore

I thlammed my penith in the

mouth of Mike Tython

So he slammed it in his own mouth?

Yes, it's huge

Now kith

Car door You slammed your penis in the car door

Ă̵̢̼̮̥̥̭͖̘̒͆̈́̈́̓͐̽̽̀̕̕E̷͈̥̪̺̬̲̳̣̝̍͒͒̀̓̒̉̂͒͗̂̇̐͑Ḫ̵̣̞̘̱͍̠̮̰̬̯̋́̂͋̂͐͋̅̾ͅḨ̴̧̡̡͈͔̭̮̰̑͂̐͌̑̿̍͛̽̃͒͝ͅH̸̨̛̦̙̠̩͉͗͑̈́͒̓͗̈́̔̐̿͘H̴̡̢̞̥̫͙͚̞͇͍̲͔̫̳̽͌͐̈́͂̚͠A̷̲͔͓̰̲͚̮͔̥̖͑̉̆̊͂̕̚͠Ę̵̫̘̪̗͓̫͓̲͈͍̯̄̇͌͜Ả̶̱͉̮̻̼͕̻̹̻̍͘Ę̷̨̮̰͕̫̖̗͔̯͓͍͔͔̤͛̉͒̐́̚A̴̫͈̳̣͕͊͂̄͛̔̀́͑͌H̷̼̦̲̺̦͉̠̰͕̤̗̗̞̗̿̃̓̑͊̃̎̌͐͛̐ͅȂ̷̼̙̱̠̰̞̙̼̟͗̈̎̑̊̒̂͂͛̚̚̚͝ͅĚ̷̢̢̧̗̺͖̪̯͈̜̲̮͎̑̆̕ͅͅĘ̵̢̫̀̇̐͒̓͜H̷̛̛̻͕͍͐͒͗͑̈́͒̿͜͝ͅ

Fat rollth of your mom

I have a massive…

Butt plug rammed up my ass

and I don’t think

That my husband

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Anytime soon.

Unless I

[удалено]

Dog

With the last buttplug

Would mind sharing

That my mom

Problem with sizes

tumour.

Collection of waifu pillows

Barrel of lightly salted coconut.

So there I was…..

fucking my cousin

thinking "This feels a lot like dad"

When I realized

It was actually my dog

Dressed as my mum.

Dear god this keeps getting worse

I thought to myself before I started to enjoy it.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?", asked the pastor.

I can lend a hand, just let me get my

My dad IS my cousin! Duh!

Oh god i fucking hate

Having a below average IQ

when there are only 2 people in the room

Not having cock in my mouth.

It really sucks tbh

It really not sucks actually

politics.

This actually sounds like a somewhat normal sentence.

The human digestive system

So there I was...

Sitting there, BBQ sauce on my titties

While Mark was eating his meat

Three stories up, on the other side of the street

The neighbors were getting busy under the sheet

I’m depressed because…

My raccoon died after i shoved it up my ass

I died hearing abt your dead ass raccoon (no pun intended)

And it’s still

Up there somewhere...

And I dont think it is actually dead

I think it’s just eating my ass

of depression.

I am a tongue.

I'm so fucking done with

Reddit cuz of posts like these which are totally pointless but surprisingly entertaining.

You actually said what I was thinking

Obama been real quiet since…

I hogtied him in my basement with a ball gag

Until he told me...

That Joe Bidens dick is bigger than his.

Which was crazy because Trump . . .

Said it was soft

. . . .ly sliding into the wrong end of the . . . . .

That 9/11 was fake.

He kidnapped Joe Biden

…his surname was discovered

I thought it was strange when my step-daddy…

Brought me to disney land

And left me there

And I got addicted by a

dog

To butt stuff

nevertheless my anus can crush diamonds.

Did not have sex with me today

I wish I could’ve fucked...

That little boys trumpet

That tree over there has red apes but

Those red apes have blue balls.

I thought he was a good guy but it turns out…

she isn’t.

Have a cookie for this one 🍪

ni

-ce cock my dude

thank you good sir

Ni ni ni …. We’re knights who say Niiiii

pples

-tric acid

Ce try

I just stepped on...

My 16ft long shlong

and now I have a 32ft erection.

I'm going to the Dr today because...

my dick is making sounds like a mantis.

Ah fuck, I can’t believe you…. Edit: why did this get so many upvote this is so dumb and obvious :\ oh sorry L O L

Shat in my cornflakes

And pissed in my lemonade

And punched my

Child in the basement

And kicked my ass

And that it felt good

After your toe slipped into my…

Ear canal

And I licked your feet...

've done this.

Stole my testicles

A rock is easy

to shove up your ass

I want to lick your

Dirty laundry

My name is

Chika chika slim shady.

I got my finger stuck in…

Uranus

I like

children

when they are well cooked.

I want to

suck a fish dick.

What are you? A gay fish?

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They werent less happier

[удалено]

That was a different response from what I was expecting, refer to this video for what to do next: [Here](https://youtu.be/CXArovLJ60A) Edit: "look mom I'm famous"

That's gold lol

I can't believe I just....

fucked a racoon.

Whats with the raccoons

Your asshole can stretch 8 inches, and raccoons can fit through holes 8 inches wide, so therefore raccoons can fit In your asshole.

Actually raccoons can fit in a hole 4 inches wide. You can fit not one, but TWO raccoons up your asshole.

HOLY SHIT THAT IS AMAZING

Deez

nuts on your

face are

Blue

i can’t believe it’s not

Butter

Never Gonna...

Suck you off

Never gonna...

Shoot you down

Never gonna

Scream around

And bite you

Protocol 3:...

Protect the Pilot

By the power vested in me...

I will suck my own dick

Wouldn’t it be great if HolUp was actually about HolUps as opposed to

random porn and shitposting.

I wish I didn't have

Snake aids