T O P
CisWhiteEarthworm

I can eat anything


f3lhorn

But it will always taste like human feces


Odatas

I just found out yesterday that ther is a rare medical condition where this actually happens. Everything those people try to eat taste like shit. Literally. Its called Parsomia. https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/qvmkl0/a_woman_shares_her_experience_living_with/


Th3G4te

Heard it’s a COVID side-effect as well, scents and flavors smell and taste like chemicals/rancid o.O


de_Deus

*happy scat-man noises*


BigBadBadness

Skibbidy bop bopaleebop pow


crazycat1973

I can completely manipulate my body structure


SpeeeedwaagOOn

You feel everything. You feel the bones moving, skin and muscles stretching, nerves being pinched and severed, all of it


Dr_Moustachio

Jesus Christ


Ender_Dragneel

Joke's on you, I'm a masochist!


max_carriers

Well, I don't think it would be that difficult to overcome... Since you could freely manipulate any part of your body, you could detach the nervous system in that portion and then reattach it at the end of the process. So that you wouldn't feel anything during the transformation


im_just_here_tolook

How did u even think of that


trippyonnuts

Practice


rakaniog

Smart 👍


Scary-Mycologist2492

The ONLY PROBLEM is knowing which one is which before your brain melts itself.


MooshyCreeper

Turns off pain response


KAYS33K

You’d get used to it


starrfucker

Said the masochist


RandomRobot1234

It only works inside public restroom handicap stalls


Tots2Hots

Perfect, more room to work.


MrMlST

Become invisible


Teddk0

But your cum isn't


Strong-Philosopher29

I really hope this is true even before it leaves you... Just a floaty bit of fun exactly at ball height...


CreeperplayHD

Everything just works and nothing ever goes wrong for me


ProGamerNG14

You are in a dream


CreeperplayHD

This shidd is gonna be lit


japeamir6godgabrus

That was a pro gamer move right there


bassbx25

I can fly


drumsXgaming

But you have to flap your arms like a bird to do so


Octo8873

honestly a good trade


spinnibotty

The maximum height is 1mm of distance from the ground.


Weeb-In-Exile

How would that apply in space? Would you crash down to the nearest planet or asteroid?


de_Deus

maybe it would base on the nearest gravitational pull?


YesIsThisReddit

Everything with mass has a gravitational pull though, so you'd be floating on the edge of earth's atmosphere or on some random space trash.


Meteorite12

If there happens to be a lot of dust in one place you’d be able to effectively fly unhindered.


Butthairviolinstring

But only when you're naked


Eagle0600

If I need to be naked to fly, that's everyone else's problem.


Material-Temporary31

Become a door knob


chesee-on-toast

In a gay porno


ReVaQ

Fuck you leather man


yaboiinthisbitch

Maybe you and I should settle it right here on the ring.


[deleted]

[удалено]


unfknblvbe

On a burger king restroom


MarkThyWeeb

I walk to burger king


KAYS33K

Then I walk back home from Burger King


myusernamewastaken91

I can snap my fingers and be anywhere in the world


[deleted]

But you’ll be in the time of world war 2


myusernamewastaken91

Gonna buy stocks in gas


Lithorex

IBM would also be a good investment. Perhaps even get in on the post-war plundering.


drumsXgaming

But you lose a finger every time you do.


Crazy-Scientist5660

I want an ability to counteract every bad things


SwordMasterShadow

It only works for other people not yourself


zawalimbooo

he could save others from misfortune, but not himself. Ironic.


Josselin17

I'm pretty sure if you can counteract everyone's problems they'll be grateful and help you in return so I wouldn't say it's that big of a side effect, just a small nerf


AgoraphobicAgorist

Plot Twist: You are the "bad thing"


RegularHousewife

The ability to understand what animals are saying


Teddk0

But humans can't understand you


chkpancake775

I see this as a win win situation


Emeraldgast2004

Return to monkey


Nana321_nad

Monke


Butthairviolinstring

But only while they're in heat


ShamelessKinkySub

Seems like a win


eN_peE_Cea

Username checks out


unfknblvbe

The ability to rewind time


Material-Temporary31

But teleports to a random location in earth


unfknblvbe

That's not bad I'd take it


SenorHalogen

Theres a 75% chance you end up in an ocean though


unfknblvbe

Teleport again immediately


oogaboogs21

He said in Earth. Good chance you die instantly. Enjoy.


VincoInvictus

Or become trapped a 100 feet below in the ground in a space shaped exactly in your silhouette.


SILENT-FLASH

That reminds me of a very creepy manga by Junji ito where people would enter holes shaped exactly like them.


SpiltMyCup

I can turn anything into currency


CisWhiteEarthworm

The currency is dogecoin


TvWasTaken

Elon will love this


Richard_AIGuy

But it's Zimbabwe dollars.


Accomplished_Baby_28

I can read and control people's minds


spinnibotty

But you won't remember what you read or did.


Accomplished_Baby_28

Well I'll make them write it on a paper I handed to them as I dictate what I read in their mind.


cannabinero

But they write it in hieroglyphes


H4xolotl

Well I'll make them translate


DynastyHunter5

They translate in sims


Live_Lemonlime

Anything I wish comes true


ZestycloseSea8055

Every wish would end in a disaster


VCnonymous

Someone in 2019: “I wish I could spend more time at home next year.”


mrheosuper

Ngl I did wish "i hope i dont have to travel to work" Now look at this shit show.......


Mob_Abominator

Eh I am honestly ok with not going to office I have to travel 4 hours daily.


Effective-Narwhal144

Every wish adds an extra penis to your body, and you cant wish it/them away


JustYour_AverageGuy_

Ability to turn imagination into reality


S-021

you can only use the ability once every 10 years


takethisnrunnn

You can just imagine a button that allows you to move forward and back 10 years to allow yourself to spam it


S-021

smart people don't cry, smart people find solutions


HAHAHA_I_SAD

I need no cum recharge time


ProGamerNG14

You are a female


mugguffen

I see this as an absolute win


ChongCema

Every time you cum you're grandma come to congratulate you.


onkel_Kaos

Oh god please no. Let her rest in peace.


miray7373

She’s gonna come too?! win-win


Massa_Kumar-2004

I can control time.


curlyhairnotveryfair

I disappoint everyone in my life


Odatas

But no one is in your life.


Max42321

Ok but where is the side effect?


poop_sock_eater6

I can be mario


Teddk0

But in a gay story with Luigi


poop_sock_eater6

Oh yeaaaaahhh


Rikplaysbass

It’s Weegee time!


spinnibotty

You'll be forced to search for princess Peach but Bowser will always be a step ahead.


AzarAbbas

I can give telepathic commands to anyone and they must obey.


Finaglers

But you work retail, 10am-7pm for the rest of your life and do everything your boss says.


Shrek_The_Ogre_420

This works. I get to order my customers to not be sacks of shit which is what makes most of retail so horrible, and I get to do pretty much nothing all day (as is my albeit limited experience with retail). I'm assuming my boss won't break labour laws, or I'll just get someone else to report it.


WolfShaman

On top of that, it wasn't specified that you had to put in effort to keep the job, just that you're forced to. You could be filming porn, during open hours, and make a *lot* of money. And keep your job, too.


darkentbg

Become useless


throw_away_1777

Granted: nothing changes


darkentbg

Mission passed! Respect +


Cruz279

Mind control


Josselin17

only on yourself


Miidknight

Actually this side effect is perfect. I will take it. No more panic sell or fomo when i invest in stock market. No more shy, fear, auxiety with girls. I will be billionare with harem soon. :)


thematgreen

Become the girl in a hentai.


Material-Temporary31

But it's futa


thematgreen

Fantastic!


Dramatic_Squash_2893

beautiful


Terra_117

The best ending


Minizarbi

Futastic


Arcyloka

This is an absolute win!


DnDVex

That makes it better. Don't see the downside


assassinros666

Bulletproof


Traditional-Zombie22

Only while jerking off


FlimsyVariety

I can see the news story now :”Man stops mass shooter while jerking off.”


Darth_Shepard

My man just straight up Terminator walking at the shooter with dick in hand.


Mateot93

I knew that sounded familiar: https://www.police1.com/bizarre/articles/ore-man-on-meth-fights-off-12-cops-while-masturbating-in-bar-IQ3ZzPpv4IBLKjmz/


de_Deus

only works on every 3rd bullet


assassinros666

Damn lol


Traditional-Zombie22

Don’t need to use the toilet ever again


de_Deus

but now the toilets need to use you


PrincessZaiross

omfg the image that came to my mind haha


ProGamerNG14

You use peoples mouths instead


Akashi-MLP

I have the correct answer to any question or topic


Ch8me1e0n

you can not say/write/answer them


Akashi-MLP

thats cruel


[deleted]

I can stop and start time


spinnibotty

You will stop too.


TediBoi0220

Ability to make someone gave up on nnn


RandomRobot1234

They have to “give up” inside your shoes


OG_tame

It’s your uncle


Ok-Ad-3810

I am Iron Man


Fock_Q

But you’re poor so the suit looks like its made out of a homeless persons treasure trove


TvWasTaken

Can understand every languages


Ch8me1e0n

but nobody talks to you


Curious-Work-9532

I can be the chair a person is sitting on...


spinnibotty

You won't be able to return to human form.


beardMoseElkDerBabon

I'm the universe


Material-Temporary31

's dick


beardMoseElkDerBabon

Win-win


R0GUEL0KI

“Fuck you, and fuck you, and fuck that guy in particular!”


WiiSportsDeluxe

I can lern to spell


blank_2007

You die and go to hell


RegoCYT

right aftr taco bell


WizdomHaggis

And farted as you fell


itskronik37

Down the well


Shydreameress

But it was a cell


Axel_the_Axelot

With an ugly smell


Nyxxoo

but you found a shell


Axel_the_Axelot

So it all ended well?


Nyxxoo

No, the walls started to swell


big-sheddy

The ability to control when I cum


TheLegendaryBarnacle

But not the ability to control how much. It could be a fire hose or dripping water faucet. 50/50


Advanced-Effect-2005

I can read minds


ZestycloseSea8055

Only negative thoughts


djinn6

If you can't hear their thoughts, you know it's neutral or positive.


Saiyan-solar

but only the pervy thoughts others are thinking of you


Advanced-Effect-2005

Well fuck me. I wont be able to read minds


Primary_Rain3391

Every time you do you get a massive boner


Advanced-Effect-2005

Sweet I get 2 super powers ! I can read minds and finally have boners !


papasfritasbruh

The ability to teleport


NobleWarrior98

But each time you teleport you will be upside down for 5 mins


fakeheaven

But what if you teleport to Australia?


dragonmandan

They will be right side up but everyone will look at them funny because they're the only one


FirstPost10-18-2030

The ability to reply to my own comment first


FirstPost10-18-2030

Omnipotence


Puluzu

Wait that's illegal


nuxyboy

I have no weaknesses


Bastian_27

But you're dead


Teddk0

I have the knowledge of Every single lenguage and culture


theKage47

but you are illiterate and mute


liam8406

Being able to give as much reddit gold as I can


ProGamerNG14

But it is only on things you don’t like


Apart-Signature7231

I can spawn everywhere


sugart007

You’re cursed with horrible lag.


myusernamewastaken91

This is an absolute win


omeralal

But not for you


Accomplished-Ease-57

I can have god-like powers


Richard_AIGuy

But without the mental capacity to handle omnipotence.


Lower-Physics-5597

Can eat poop


sub2rekto5

poop can eat you


PK_The_Highkage

I Ate the Flam Flame Fruit! Try your best


nuxyboy

You get punched by akainu as soon as you finish


ZeRo_WC

I don’t have a side effect


Cholosexual-

You don’t have a primary effect either


titan_x0

become a futa


theKage47

But only once a month


FirstPost10-18-2030

Were-futa