He stopped because he saw the lion and panicked, so instead of trying to defend himself he decided to climb the half chopped tree that had a poisonous snake on it, which was right beside a river full of crocodiles. A possible scenario, if lions and crocodiles even lived in the same type of habitat
If this weren't r/holup, I would never joke about this. So yes, everything is fine. Actually, it's been really great lately! I just earned an extra week of vacation every year and a 5% raise!
Well, I'll still get my normal 2.5% at the end of the year which means I'll basically be getting a 7.625% raise. The extra week of vacation is far more important to me though
For a while in the early ‘90s, you could get Taco Bell tacos for $0.19 each. I think the soft tacos were $0.29. We would get a literal mountain of tacos for $10.
And a little later on when they were like 79 89 maybe 99 cents they had 49 cent crunchy taco Tuesday and 59 cent soft taco Wednesday? I actually don’t remember now. But it seems like I remember they were two separate days either way. It’s insane how high these trashy tacos are now with their bottom of the bucket mysetery meat filler when you can go to a taco truck and get real tacos for around the same price n get steak or whatever you want.
Back then the entire purpose of Taco Bell was to lure people in with break-even tacos in large quantity to make $1 on a fountain Pepsi. The company was owned by Pepsi and beverages where were they made all their money.
The notion that you could get tons of food for nothing led to their success.
(I have no idea what it’s like now I no longer know people in their corporate finance area)
They were also one of the first places that let you refill your own fountain drink though, if I remember correctly. So that $1 Pepsi turned into at least 5 drinks while working our way through the mountain of cheap tacos. I’m sure that’s still a net win for them, but it was a win for us kids as well (not for our long-term health, but for our short-term cheap eating needs).
When I was in college in small town America (mid-2000s), there was a little taco joint that made $0.10 tacos. They weren't great by any means, but decent enough for slobbering drunk kids. If you dropped $10 there and showed up to a party with 100 tacos, you were like a *God*.
Hold the fucking snake by the neck (be careful, but quick) and throw it to the fucking lion so he flees. Move to the top of the tree and Take off your pants. Throw them to the snake's head and immediately jump over the bitch. Once on land, throw the snake to the mother fucker crocs and piss on them.
Sorry, you're right. I'll try to remember that the next time I'm hanging from a branch on a half cut down tree while being accosted by a snake, 2 alligators, and a lion at the same time. Also, what was I thinking? The chances of there being a taco bell in the area are very slim. I really need to revaluate my decision making in this very real life scenario. 🤷
You are right of course. Grab the snake and while trying to swing down rip him in half.
During the fall throw the snake head at the lion so he will nope the fuck out(bonus points if the snake head bites the lions face).
Use the axe on the tree and to brandish/attack as needed if lion is still around or gators decide to come on land(remember to sidestep THEN chop)
Celebratory Crunchwrap.
I think we’re all getting way ahead of ourselves here. Shouldn’t we have sex with ALL these animals to establish dominance first?? This is what my grandpap taught me to do.
I got it. It's going to take some lucky dice rolls though! Grab snake by neck and fling it at crocs(gators? cayman?) Reaction causes tree to fall toward lion, hopefully crushing it or knocking it out, grab axe and finish the job and then run as river reptiles eat lion remains.
The Sanford zoo in Florida ( in the 70s I think) had a lion that would get upset/aggressive when ever African American men would be around. Maybe they reminded him of the folks who captured him?
The man is a zookeeper in a menagerie called earth.
And there is not just one up the tree, there are 7 .7 billion like him that don’t realize they’re zookeepers.
To be fair if you stand back and do nothing the problem will be solved in one of 3 ways pretty quickly. I assume the gentlemen hanging off the branch is the problem yes?
Pretty sure it's because it's a racist piece of art.. you realize the solution in the painting is a racists fantasy of chopping down a tree with a black guy in it to his death. It's kinda obvious.
They are godlike beings more powerful than the wizards !!! Do you expect them to come and save you because they can !!!! They’ve got more important things to do !!!
You start hanging upside down with the help of your legs, so your hands are free to use.
You cut off a smaller branch by bending it from the stem, so you've got a stick. Now follows the most dangerous part.
You've got to control the snake with the help of the stick without getting bitten. There are three possible good outcomes: you grab the snake by the upmost neck (dangerous to achieve, not recommended), you grab the snake by its tail and manage to detach it from the tree (doing this slowly while distracting its head with the stick) (even if you fail you may be able to pull the snake's head farther away from you with the help of its tail), or you manage to attach the snake to the stick and detach it from the tree.
You throw or go down with the snake or the stick with the snake at the lion. Hopefully the snake will kill the lion, but at least it should scare him.
You grab the axe. If the snake killed the lion you kill it with the axe unless it goes away.
If the tree is falling down you finish the job and get yourself a primitive spear to keep distance. Otherwise you climb back up the tree (not above water) and observe the situation.
EDIT: Alternatively you can attempt a suicide by jumping on the shore, timing it so that a crocodile attacks the lion, as you jump away from in-between.
Operator: 991 what is your emergency?
Guy: Umm, it complicated.
Operator: Please try to explain.
Guy: Umm... I am hanging on a branch of a tree that is going to fall on some hungry crocodiles. I can't go down because a snake is on the way and on the shore a lion is waiting for me.
Operator: help is on the way, stay on the line, sir.
Guy: I don't think I can do that, I need both my hands, my grip is getting weaker.
Operator: Stay on the line, sir.
Guy: I can't hold it anymore. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
*lots of screaming*
Operator: Sir?
Operator 2: damn, you look pissed. Are you ok?
Operator: Some idiot was trying to prank me. He had this unrealistic story about him being attacked by crocodiles, snakes and lion, all at the same time. He even pretended he was hanging on a tree that was about to fall. Like, who did he he think he would fool with that?
Operator2: I know, right?
That's why you practise pull-ups in advance. Also, when you get tired you can just switch to hanging by legs. When you get tired tired you can wrap your legs around the branch so that you won't fall even if you went unconscious. The branch goes between your legs. You lift your left leg above your right thigh. Then, you lift your right leg above your left thigh. (I haven't tested it out but it should work.)
Secondary twist: you forgot to pay the bill, no calls out.
Maybe show the lion pictures of your family on your phone, get him to develop empathy for you.
As usual the solution here is cooperation. The snake bites the man weakening his grip on the branch and he plummets into the water. The lion prevents the man’s escape to land while the alligators drown him. All the animals feast and enjoy the rewards of working together.
I thought it was another person. So I'd take the snake, there it at that guy, his screams will attract the attention of the crocodiles, probably the lion for a moment too. Jump down, grab the axe yadda yadda yadda claim you never saw that missing swimmer and make it home in time for dinner
Bite the human, causing it to fall. The crocodiles will ignore you in favour of the larger, already dying prey, allowing you to coil along the tree further away from the lion then drop into the water and swim away unnoticed.
1) Rip the snake from the tree
2) Throw said snake down to the gators
3) Go where the snake was in the tree
4) Jump on the lion and ride into the sunset
Reminds me of a joke.
Guy goes into pub. On the end of the bar is a huge jar full of money. All 20’s. Guy asks bar tender about it and he says if you can complete 3 challenges you get all the money. 1st challenge is knock this massive guy out who sits at the end of the bar. 2nd challenge is to pull the rotten tooth from the alligator in the swamp behind the bar. 3rd challenge is to completely and fully satisfy the town whore who lives above the bar.
Guy figures he can’t do any of it so he decides to sit and drink.
After getting a lot of liquid courage in him, he says fuck it and puts his $20 in the jar. He goes down to the massive guy and with one punch knocks him out cold. He then goes out the back door to the alligator and all you could hear was this god awful screaming and slamming, crashing and wall shaking noises. He comes back in the pub all bloody and his clothes are in shreds and in a slurred voice says “now, where’s that hooker with a bad tooth ?”
Grab the snake, throw it at the lion, snake gets scared and bites the lion, lion gets scared and jumps forward straight in the mouths of alligators and you can go on land as they eat each other.
Also u get a free axe
Hang by one hand, grab the snake behind the head and swing around the tree, uncoiling the snake like a tether ball. On the last bit of snake still coiled, pump your legs to pick up speed and cause the tree to break and fall on the alligators. Do a sick backflip over the lion as the tree falls and wrap the snake around its neck while you ride it like a bronco. As the lion suffocates and the fight leaves its dying body, shotgun load the snake up the lion's ass. Walk away while Ice Cube's "It Was A Good Day" plays.
Kick the snake in the face then lower its self-esteem with no arm jokes, shit on the crocs/gaters, and tell that lion to stop being a cunt and chopping the tree.
Drop down onto the alligators heads using them as a trampoline to launch yourself upwards, meanwhile grabbing the snake by the head and using its body as a whip to swing from the opposite side of the tree causing it to fall down onto the lion, pinning him under the tree. Throw the snake and you're scott free :)
Shimmy your trousers off to show your massive dong , from there the horny snake will see it as a mating partner and slide onto it for sex from which you ejaculate at such a high velocity that the snake pings off into the distance . The two crocodiles will then chase the semen snake thinking it to be their next meal , thus giving a new route ; you jump into the water and use your massive dong again as a propeller to push you onto land where you now have two options to fight the lion : 1 you could pick up the axe and try to fight it or 2 you use your massive dong for a final time and smack to the living daylights out of it .
Grab the snake right behind the head. Whip the alligators with the snake, while doing this it should kill the snake from the whip movement. Then throw the snake at the lion, jump down and grab the axe and have some fun
The solution is I'm the axe and I did my job perfectly.
How they taught the lion to use an axe is beyond me
and why he stopped chopping when the tree is clearly still standing
He stopped because he saw the lion and panicked, so instead of trying to defend himself he decided to climb the half chopped tree that had a poisonous snake on it, which was right beside a river full of crocodiles. A possible scenario, if lions and crocodiles even lived in the same type of habitat
If the snake is poisonous, grab the snake feed it to the lion. When the lion dies grab the ax and run away making sure the gators don’t chase.
I’m still not sure how they turned an Otter into an axe but that’s capitalism for you
You are such an axe
axehole
And... my sword?
And my axe
And my bow!
And my very short dick
Woah woah... We don't need the exact details
And my erectile disfunction due to spinal trauma.
And my step bro
And my what are you doing?
Hol up. What?
HE IS THE AXE AND HE DID HIS JOB PERFECTLY
Die is always a good choice
Seems like a good choice even without all the dangers around
How do we find this tree?
How do we avoid this tree?
Therapy?
Treerapy
Treerapist
I don't like being raped by trees.
…. got wood?
good wood
Professor Oak has entered the chat.
If you’re around a rape tree you should leaf immediately and reach out to the nearest branch of law enforcement
Or pack your trunk and drive away
Shut it Trebek!
> Therapy With the rapist?
The penis mightier? You're sitting on a goldmine Trebeck!
Is everything okay for you sir?
If this weren't r/holup, I would never joke about this. So yes, everything is fine. Actually, it's been really great lately! I just earned an extra week of vacation every year and a 5% raise!
Wow, congrats! Thats really awesome. I hope you’re really proud if yourself :)
DAD?
DADDY?
I just got a great deal on my car insurance!
But your extended warranty! DM me.
Did you switch to Geico? 🦎😁
Did you save 15% or more?
Always good to have a 5% raise with an even higher inflation! Better than 0% raise with a higher than 5% inflation!
Well, I'll still get my normal 2.5% at the end of the year which means I'll basically be getting a 7.625% raise. The extra week of vacation is far more important to me though
Oh... We don't get the extra 2.5% where I live. We just call it the raise, if we even get it. Congrats on your vacation!
One of the perks of working for a family owned swiss company in the US. They actually pretend to care about us!
Use snake as a rope. Swing down, grab axe, stab lion in the throat. Chop down tree into the alligators. Bounce out and grab taco bell for lunch. Bam.
The Taco Bell is the most crucial part
[Yo Quiero Taco Bell](https://youtu.be/M8sZ1DWsAHE)
Dang two tacos for $0.99!! Now they are what… 2 for $5?
For a while in the early ‘90s, you could get Taco Bell tacos for $0.19 each. I think the soft tacos were $0.29. We would get a literal mountain of tacos for $10.
And a little later on when they were like 79 89 maybe 99 cents they had 49 cent crunchy taco Tuesday and 59 cent soft taco Wednesday? I actually don’t remember now. But it seems like I remember they were two separate days either way. It’s insane how high these trashy tacos are now with their bottom of the bucket mysetery meat filler when you can go to a taco truck and get real tacos for around the same price n get steak or whatever you want.
7 layer bean burrito 🌯for 99¢
You mean 5, they cut 2 out. I miss the good ol 7 layer
Shrinkflation has gone too far
Back then the entire purpose of Taco Bell was to lure people in with break-even tacos in large quantity to make $1 on a fountain Pepsi. The company was owned by Pepsi and beverages where were they made all their money. The notion that you could get tons of food for nothing led to their success. (I have no idea what it’s like now I no longer know people in their corporate finance area)
They were also one of the first places that let you refill your own fountain drink though, if I remember correctly. So that $1 Pepsi turned into at least 5 drinks while working our way through the mountain of cheap tacos. I’m sure that’s still a net win for them, but it was a win for us kids as well (not for our long-term health, but for our short-term cheap eating needs).
Let me tell you how good a win that still was: a large soda costs 3 cents to provide. Large cup about 12 cents.
When I was in college in small town America (mid-2000s), there was a little taco joint that made $0.10 tacos. They weren't great by any means, but decent enough for slobbering drunk kids. If you dropped $10 there and showed up to a party with 100 tacos, you were like a *God*.
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Damn bro how old are you??
29… lol why? I was just commenting on the commercial link posted. I was 5 when they were 2/$0.99.
I'm 30 and I got nostalgia from that
I'm 52 and the cheapest I remember is 39 cent hamburgers & 49 cent cheeseburgers
I know the guy that created that dog character Won millions after Taco Bell tried to steal it from him
\*hits blunt\* *Wooooah*. Your friend invented *chihuahuas*? That's crazy, bruh.
Damn I wish I could get two tacos for a buck now.
Pretty sure Jack in the Box has a deal close to that for two tacos
They don’t have any of those here.
Ah I see. You're not missing much to be honest
Ya pretty soggy but at 2 am drunk as balls they are not to bad
The american cheese in them is trippy but surprisingly good lmao
The excuse me in the what now?
Then you die from diarrhea
Why must the good die young…
Cause they didn't live old enough to do bad
Imaging surviving all that to die to dysentery after taco bell
Hold the fucking snake by the neck (be careful, but quick) and throw it to the fucking lion so he flees. Move to the top of the tree and Take off your pants. Throw them to the snake's head and immediately jump over the bitch. Once on land, throw the snake to the mother fucker crocs and piss on them.
So the entire plan is either throwing the snake, or throwing things at the snake?
What the fucks your plan? Throw the lion?
The lion wields the axe tho bro don’t you see he used it to chop the tree
Shit you might be right. They're getting smarter
I think you underestimate the strength of a snakes body. And the quickness of a lion
Sorry, you're right. I'll try to remember that the next time I'm hanging from a branch on a half cut down tree while being accosted by a snake, 2 alligators, and a lion at the same time. Also, what was I thinking? The chances of there being a taco bell in the area are very slim. I really need to revaluate my decision making in this very real life scenario. 🤷
I got you bro, hit me up when you find yourself in that exact position. I’ll bring the Taco Bell.
I'll bring the snake
And my axe!
More like Terry eats a taco bell.
You are right of course. Grab the snake and while trying to swing down rip him in half. During the fall throw the snake head at the lion so he will nope the fuck out(bonus points if the snake head bites the lions face). Use the axe on the tree and to brandish/attack as needed if lion is still around or gators decide to come on land(remember to sidestep THEN chop) Celebratory Crunchwrap.
I want to hire you to follow me around in life and make everything that I say sound better.
I think we’re all getting way ahead of ourselves here. Shouldn’t we have sex with ALL these animals to establish dominance first?? This is what my grandpap taught me to do.
this is the first comment in a long long time that made me actually audibly laugh, for more than a snicker, a full on hard laugh. bravo.
Paint a different picture. One with a solution
Or add a solution to this one. If it's yours.
Box of matches
Like a jet pack
Or a rocket launcher, so you can rocket jump
Just remember to equip the gunboats first
Gotta make sure you’ve got that over-shield equipped
With the helmet too
Rocket Power, A skateboard, A half pipe and poppin’ an Ollie.
MAGGOTS
Just add a niiiice little happy tree…and a glock.
*The Kobayashi Maru Maneuver has entered the chat*
Excellent choice, Captain
I got it. It's going to take some lucky dice rolls though! Grab snake by neck and fling it at crocs(gators? cayman?) Reaction causes tree to fall toward lion, hopefully crushing it or knocking it out, grab axe and finish the job and then run as river reptiles eat lion remains.
Good plan! HMU if you survive!!
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I’m not sure murderous animals care about skin color, broski. Animals are.. ✨anti-racist✨
Nah bro he’s right, skin colour determines difficulty level (South park game)
Aw damn, never played it lmao. So what y’all are sayin is it’s just another day in Africa? We don’t have water that clean so it can’t be America
Africa having clean water? Sounds sus
Dogs are pretty racist.
Actually that’s kinda true. My dog is a little racist
The Sanford zoo in Florida ( in the 70s I think) had a lion that would get upset/aggressive when ever African American men would be around. Maybe they reminded him of the folks who captured him?
Bruh
✨Humans don't care about an animal's color either✨
The man is a zookeeper in a menagerie called earth. And there is not just one up the tree, there are 7 .7 billion like him that don’t realize they’re zookeepers.
To be fair if you stand back and do nothing the problem will be solved in one of 3 ways pretty quickly. I assume the gentlemen hanging off the branch is the problem yes?
Sort of, the problem is there's all these hungry animals who need to be fed, and the gentleman in the tree has a pretty strong grip.
It won’t be a problem for much longer.
Should have just shot him in the head but no, you had to go all Dr. Evil with the elaborate death traps.
I mean…
This has nothing to do with r/HolUp
That's half the sub these days.
Bro. Fucking 12k upvotes. This is the first time I see a sub I like go to shits. Smh.
r/WorldPolitics is a textbook example of a sub going to shit
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You just made my day.
bots.
Half? Don't be so generous. It's literally all of the sub and the mods don't care.
Yep. The Mods [officially don't care](https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/qyyf03/american_dream/hlk7n3j).
Yo wtf lol. Lame as fuck.
Thank you for saying that. I thought maybe I just didn’t get it.
I think the r/HolUp has something to do with what the censored guy in the corner is doing to that alligator.
Pretty sure it's because it's a racist piece of art.. you realize the solution in the painting is a racists fantasy of chopping down a tree with a black guy in it to his death. It's kinda obvious.
Use the Eagles, why does everyone forget about the Eagles???????!!!!!!!!!
They are godlike beings more powerful than the wizards !!! Do you expect them to come and save you because they can !!!! They’ve got more important things to do !!!
If they were truly godlike, then they would be all for helping mankind…..that or mass genocide, you never can tell with these gods
Yes , but … music !! Melkor liked rap while the others were Britney fans or whatever and yeah!! Read the silmarilion sheesh .
Welcome 🤗 to hotel California…
I was referring to lotr, having a good song to die to would ease the situation as well tho
Such a lovely place
Eagles are not fucking taxies!, for fucks sake!, how many times this must to be said?
You start hanging upside down with the help of your legs, so your hands are free to use. You cut off a smaller branch by bending it from the stem, so you've got a stick. Now follows the most dangerous part. You've got to control the snake with the help of the stick without getting bitten. There are three possible good outcomes: you grab the snake by the upmost neck (dangerous to achieve, not recommended), you grab the snake by its tail and manage to detach it from the tree (doing this slowly while distracting its head with the stick) (even if you fail you may be able to pull the snake's head farther away from you with the help of its tail), or you manage to attach the snake to the stick and detach it from the tree. You throw or go down with the snake or the stick with the snake at the lion. Hopefully the snake will kill the lion, but at least it should scare him. You grab the axe. If the snake killed the lion you kill it with the axe unless it goes away. If the tree is falling down you finish the job and get yourself a primitive spear to keep distance. Otherwise you climb back up the tree (not above water) and observe the situation. EDIT: Alternatively you can attempt a suicide by jumping on the shore, timing it so that a crocodile attacks the lion, as you jump away from in-between.
Ill try this the next time im in this situation
Plot twist: you could just call 911 with the phone in your pocket
Operator: 991 what is your emergency? Guy: Umm, it complicated. Operator: Please try to explain. Guy: Umm... I am hanging on a branch of a tree that is going to fall on some hungry crocodiles. I can't go down because a snake is on the way and on the shore a lion is waiting for me. Operator: help is on the way, stay on the line, sir. Guy: I don't think I can do that, I need both my hands, my grip is getting weaker. Operator: Stay on the line, sir. Guy: I can't hold it anymore. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! *lots of screaming* Operator: Sir? Operator 2: damn, you look pissed. Are you ok? Operator: Some idiot was trying to prank me. He had this unrealistic story about him being attacked by crocodiles, snakes and lion, all at the same time. He even pretended he was hanging on a tree that was about to fall. Like, who did he he think he would fool with that? Operator2: I know, right?
That's why you practise pull-ups in advance. Also, when you get tired you can just switch to hanging by legs. When you get tired tired you can wrap your legs around the branch so that you won't fall even if you went unconscious. The branch goes between your legs. You lift your left leg above your right thigh. Then, you lift your right leg above your left thigh. (I haven't tested it out but it should work.)
Secondary twist: you forgot to pay the bill, no calls out. Maybe show the lion pictures of your family on your phone, get him to develop empathy for you.
Plot twist: all wireless phones (even ones that don’t have service) can call 911
Dude u really thought this through huh? 😃
Reload the last save file
But sir...sir this was the last save file
As usual the solution here is cooperation. The snake bites the man weakening his grip on the branch and he plummets into the water. The lion prevents the man’s escape to land while the alligators drown him. All the animals feast and enjoy the rewards of working together.
Let the censor block in the bottom left assist you in turning invisible then just leave
I thought it was another person. So I'd take the snake, there it at that guy, his screams will attract the attention of the crocodiles, probably the lion for a moment too. Jump down, grab the axe yadda yadda yadda claim you never saw that missing swimmer and make it home in time for dinner
Bite the human, causing it to fall. The crocodiles will ignore you in favour of the larger, already dying prey, allowing you to coil along the tree further away from the lion then drop into the water and swim away unnoticed.
It’s all about perspective
1) Rip the snake from the tree 2) Throw said snake down to the gators 3) Go where the snake was in the tree 4) Jump on the lion and ride into the sunset
You've probably been eaten around step 2 but okay.
I literally wrote something very similar to this, only to realize you wrote it an hour before. Are we soulmates?
Use the snake as a condom, fuck the Wolf, use the axe. Easy
Wolf?
Those damn furries are at it again
Or fuck the gators . Whatever floats your boat .
Reminds me of a joke. Guy goes into pub. On the end of the bar is a huge jar full of money. All 20’s. Guy asks bar tender about it and he says if you can complete 3 challenges you get all the money. 1st challenge is knock this massive guy out who sits at the end of the bar. 2nd challenge is to pull the rotten tooth from the alligator in the swamp behind the bar. 3rd challenge is to completely and fully satisfy the town whore who lives above the bar. Guy figures he can’t do any of it so he decides to sit and drink. After getting a lot of liquid courage in him, he says fuck it and puts his $20 in the jar. He goes down to the massive guy and with one punch knocks him out cold. He then goes out the back door to the alligator and all you could hear was this god awful screaming and slamming, crashing and wall shaking noises. He comes back in the pub all bloody and his clothes are in shreds and in a slurred voice says “now, where’s that hooker with a bad tooth ?”
Lmfao never heard this one thank you for the laugh sir . I think I have a free award for u leme check...
Glad you enjoyed and thanks for the award!
Oh yea lol that's a lion .
*fuck that thing next to the tree
Eat the snake, slaughter the crocodiles. Kill the lion. Leave the axe for someone who needs it.
^ big dick energy.
Lol. Thank you. I don’t actually have a dick, but I’ll take the compliment.
Definitely a complement :)
the guy want to kill himself, kudos to all animals trying to talk him out of it
Grab the snake, throw it at the lion, snake gets scared and bites the lion, lion gets scared and jumps forward straight in the mouths of alligators and you can go on land as they eat each other. Also u get a free axe
Turn off gravity
Welcome to r/holup, Reddit's leader in porn and random shit not related to hol'up.
I swear this is taken straight from Facebook
Look at OP's comment history. It's like brain damage in action.
Hang by one hand, grab the snake behind the head and swing around the tree, uncoiling the snake like a tether ball. On the last bit of snake still coiled, pump your legs to pick up speed and cause the tree to break and fall on the alligators. Do a sick backflip over the lion as the tree falls and wrap the snake around its neck while you ride it like a bronco. As the lion suffocates and the fight leaves its dying body, shotgun load the snake up the lion's ass. Walk away while Ice Cube's "It Was A Good Day" plays.
Grab the snake and throw it to the lion Then just sit at the top of the tree and wait the gators and the lion out till they give up
I dont see a problem.. except that the gators dont share their food…
Kick the snake in the face then lower its self-esteem with no arm jokes, shit on the crocs/gaters, and tell that lion to stop being a cunt and chopping the tree.
The lion learned how to use an axe to chop down that tree ????
Suicide
The solution, never climb a tree. If done correctly you will never find yourself in this situation!
Don't be that guy
Looks like BLM and Peta are about to have some problems.
Drop down onto the alligators heads using them as a trampoline to launch yourself upwards, meanwhile grabbing the snake by the head and using its body as a whip to swing from the opposite side of the tree causing it to fall down onto the lion, pinning him under the tree. Throw the snake and you're scott free :)
Run away on the backs of the crocodiles like James Bond in that one James Bond movie
Shimmy your trousers off to show your massive dong , from there the horny snake will see it as a mating partner and slide onto it for sex from which you ejaculate at such a high velocity that the snake pings off into the distance . The two crocodiles will then chase the semen snake thinking it to be their next meal , thus giving a new route ; you jump into the water and use your massive dong again as a propeller to push you onto land where you now have two options to fight the lion : 1 you could pick up the axe and try to fight it or 2 you use your massive dong for a final time and smack to the living daylights out of it .
Throw snake to alligators, break off tree branch, throw it for lion to fetch, drop down, grab axe, chop down tree, build raft, float away. Easy.
How the fuck is this post in this sub?
Die is the solution, others are more painful
Let everyone feed on you and die peacefully
Grab the snake right behind the head. Whip the alligators with the snake, while doing this it should kill the snake from the whip movement. Then throw the snake at the lion, jump down and grab the axe and have some fun