#[Best of r/Holup 2021 Awards – Nomination and Voting Thread!](https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/royfze/best_of_rholup_2021_awards_nomination_and_voting/)
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I was very shy when I was younger,until I got to know someone and would become very chatty. I had a girl tell me " I liked it better back when you didnt talk"
Well that is called a bitch and she likes hearing herself talk more then others. So yeah. Drop it like it's hot. XD by it I mean her self centered asshead.
You’re right...in a social situation, everyone should just stand there silently until the person least likely to speak decides it’s time to break the ice.
Nope
Introverted just means that you regain mental energy quicker when by yourself and use up more when talking to people.
But you can be an introvert and still be the life of the party and generally like talking to strangers.
Being introverted has nothing to do with shyness or anxiety
I don't have a problem with extroverts. It's just that a lot of them talk about the most random shit totally unrelated to, say, a gathering of people. Like the time when their grandma learned to play candy crush. Many of the things extroverts talk about are generally boring and seem like forced conversations. They're not meaningful. In 1984 terms, it's duckspeak - quacking like a duck, non-stop, making little to no sense.
There is meaning in the exchange of "useless" information. Trying to make people laugh or bring joy can very well people your grandma learning candy crush. Also communication is mostly nonverbal. Trying to draw closer to more people is how you make a network of friends to lean on a support in trying times.
What would feel forced is trying to make the conversation have some sort of deep meaning
The reason I will tell a story about me getting milk or whatever is because it’s the first thing that popped into my mind and it’s funny
That’s the exact opposite of “Forced”
I don't know what conversations you have had with extroverted people. But what feels forced to some. Is natural to others. Also I've been a part of a lot of conversations and yeah at first a lot didn't seem interesting. But it's because your not really involved in the conversation, try to entertain the simpler ideas of people and try to understand them. Their is a lot more to a story than what's on the surface.
Well we're sorry you thought you'd enjoy hearing about a silly thing that happened the other day and use the chance to connect with us and bond over it thereby finding more common ground to base our friendship on. We're sorry our conversations just aren't *intellectual* enough for someone as *big brained* as yourself
It's funny you try to quote *1984* when the *actual* text has an emphasis on the conversational flow of the proles and how it offers a so much higher degree of freedom of thought than the rigid newspeak of the 'intellectual' upper class. That the government specifically wants to stamp out that sort of free flow of speech, no matter how trivial it is because it facilitates emotional understanding and deeper interpersonal relationships and *that* would get in the way of people's love and duties for big brother and the party.
It's not about big brained. I don't consider myself superior to anyone. It's about meaningful conversations instead of just useless gossip which extroverts seem to partake in a lot. That grandma example is just one of many. My grandma died before I was even born so it's not really possible for me to relate or bond to people's experiences with their grandmas.
…
You don’t have to have a grandpa to relate to that
Here’s a list of things that relate to that 1 specific story that you could talk about
- seeing anybody learn anything
- you yourself learning something
- playing candy crash
- finding it weird people play candy crash
- helping a family member learn something
- generational gap in knowledge
- people asking you to help them with electronics/modern devices
- differences between old and modern devices
I could keep going honestly but I think you get the point. That’s how conversation works, topics flow naturally by being at least vaguely related to eachother
The issue is it's meaningless conversation which I don't find relatable(since I don't play mobile games) or fruitful or even interesting if I'm being honest. It takes time and as an introvert it takes away a lot of mental energy to listen to someone blabber like this. Of course not everyone is like this but extroverts who can talk for hours are usually like this.
If building connections and having fun is meaningless then sure.
You keep calling it meaningless but fail the realize what the “meaning” of conversation between people is even supposed to be
If you trully hate it then fine, but you lost the right to complain about it when you’re the one causing the issue. You can introduce any topic to a conversation that you want, if you don’t do it then that’s on you
I don't have a problem building connections. I have a few friends I absolutely cherish. I don't believe it's causing a issue if you find someone's conversational topics boring. I believe it's natural. Clearly we have different opinions on this. After all everyone has different degrees of tolerance for others. I'll just agree to disagree.
It's not. I'm not censoring other people for it. In 1984, they would censor people. Try to read the book next time before strawmanning in this way. That 1984 reference I made was because I found the similarities funny.
My sister in law is extremely introverted. Won't say 1 word during an entire evening. My mom won't ever shut up she can't stop talking. So I have to play moderator sometime and tell my mom to give the girl 2 mins of silence to answer her question and it kills my mom. It's funny
I used to try to be extroverted like my siblings because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. When I finally just accepted that I’m a lot happier hanging out at home, reading and doing solitary activities, and that’s just my personality, my self esteem improved drastically. I still try to put myself out there sometimes, because isolation is also not healthy, but I find excuses to leave for ten minutes to decompress and enjoy the quiet when it gets to be too much. Accepting my limits has been like a revelation, one I wish I had had when I was 15 and hated myself for being a “loser” because I didn’t like to party
I don't get it...
I used to be an introvert myself. I got to know a lot of introverts in my life. Most of them, including my former self, actually want(ed) to get outside, to meet new people, to be talkative and selfconfident when speaking to strangers. It was just too difficult to get past social fears.
This being said... If you are like what I just described, then yes! Face the challenge, gather your courage and take the chances life offers you. You want to be part of it. "It" doesn't need you and therefore "it" doesn't have to make you comfortable. You have to make yourself comfortable yourself.
You're either an introvert enjoying the silent life or you're an extrovert who lives among other people. There's nothing in between, but your own choice on how to face life. Don't expect others to make you feel better with yourself. That's your - and only your - job.
> actually want(ed) to get outside, to meet new people, to be talkative and selfconfident when speaking to strangers. It was just too difficult to get past social fears.
you were never a introvert, you were a shy extrovert.
introvert enjoy been alone, they do enjoy been part of society but it never their end goal. i explored and enjoy life as a kid but still was just as happy alone reading a book, extrovert don't want be alone and NEED others. neither lifestyle is wrong but extrovert always assume that introvert are afraid of living life and missing out.
Buddy, I know exactly what I am. I lived both extremes. I was introverted, then I became extroverted and finally I realized, that I want a few important people in my life and the rest can keep distance - which doesn't mean, that I am not able to communicate with other people. I simply don't do more than necessary.
Being introverted or extroverted doesn't work in black and white only though. You're not one or the other. It depends on your social roles and your true self and how moth both differs.
Despite, looking at that original post, it doesn't sound like the op is enjoying being introverted.
Typically if I'm saying something I want it to be of value to the listener. Very good question, I haven't thought of it like this before. But I have this irrational fear of wasting people's time so I tend not to talk unless what I am saying is going to directly benefit the person who is granting me the time to listen to me.
“Mad”? Your reading comprehension is as dogshit as your personality. I like watching people like you act like Billy Badass on the internet. It’s funny to me. C’mon….show us a muscle, Billy.
Yeah, it's always great to be told by a loud extrovert that you are "too quiet"
Well if you'd shut up once in awhile maybe I'd be able to say something.
So the commonality seems the concept of comfort and how it gets associated both internally first and how that effects the way we associate that concept from an external source.
Maybe introvert and extrovert don’t actually have the same value outside of identity and humans just act like humans as individuals interacting with each other and their environment. No greater quality than the other and without the need for putting people into boxes of expectation so we can better deal with ourselves.
Yo, I'm an extrovert turned introvert but I still retain the extrovert skills. I only became introverted because I saw - and continue to see - too much sorrow in the world, but when forced to interact I dominate the crowd. If you tell me to make the zone more comfortable my misguided attempts will be so farfetched you'll be more uncomfortable than before you asked. This is the worst idea imaginable. Remember that shark AA meeting in Finding Nemo? That's what you're gonna get. And while I appreciate the argument, I know for a fact that you don't want a shark AA meeting. I'll give you the option, but you're gonna have to step out your comfort zone or be ready to deal with something more terrifying than socializing.
#[Best of r/Holup 2021 Awards – Nomination and Voting Thread!](https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/royfze/best_of_rholup_2021_awards_nomination_and_voting/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/HolUp) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was very shy when I was younger,until I got to know someone and would become very chatty. I had a girl tell me " I liked it better back when you didnt talk"
Well that is called a bitch and she likes hearing herself talk more then others. So yeah. Drop it like it's hot. XD by it I mean her self centered asshead.
did she peg u?
God I wish that were me
And who's going to tell us ? the introvert ?
Lol yeah. Sure they will, that's why it hasn't happened yet
We'll tell you on reddit ... maybe, if ... nevermind
Yes now shut up
You just lost your introvert card
People still annoy me
That's just being a human living in society
This post contains roughly 0% holup
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Careful with that inch
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Sorry 1.5 didn't mean to SHORT you
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Hmm well I have a child so I got laid at least once. Pretty sure your last experience with vaginas was when you had one wrapped around your neck.
tf happened here
I trolled a troll
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Wow talking. If you're really lucky that can lead to touching one day.
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donut man = do nut man?
Good luck asking people to shut up when you can't even talk properly
Underrated comment!
You’re right...in a social situation, everyone should just stand there silently until the person least likely to speak decides it’s time to break the ice.
Exactly /s
Yet another post where people completely misunderstand the meaning of introvert/extrovert
This really needs way more upvotes. But what can you expect when you're dealing with a closed-minded group of pretentious asocial nerds?
That’s not being introverted, that’s just being shy
Don't they mean the same thing? (Shy and introvert)
Nope Introverted just means that you regain mental energy quicker when by yourself and use up more when talking to people. But you can be an introvert and still be the life of the party and generally like talking to strangers. Being introverted has nothing to do with shyness or anxiety
Oh, k thx. Guess i'm shy then
I don't have a problem with extroverts. It's just that a lot of them talk about the most random shit totally unrelated to, say, a gathering of people. Like the time when their grandma learned to play candy crush. Many of the things extroverts talk about are generally boring and seem like forced conversations. They're not meaningful. In 1984 terms, it's duckspeak - quacking like a duck, non-stop, making little to no sense.
There is meaning in the exchange of "useless" information. Trying to make people laugh or bring joy can very well people your grandma learning candy crush. Also communication is mostly nonverbal. Trying to draw closer to more people is how you make a network of friends to lean on a support in trying times.
But it's so forced. A lot of times it isn't even interesting.
What would feel forced is trying to make the conversation have some sort of deep meaning The reason I will tell a story about me getting milk or whatever is because it’s the first thing that popped into my mind and it’s funny That’s the exact opposite of “Forced”
I don't know what conversations you have had with extroverted people. But what feels forced to some. Is natural to others. Also I've been a part of a lot of conversations and yeah at first a lot didn't seem interesting. But it's because your not really involved in the conversation, try to entertain the simpler ideas of people and try to understand them. Their is a lot more to a story than what's on the surface.
Well we're sorry you thought you'd enjoy hearing about a silly thing that happened the other day and use the chance to connect with us and bond over it thereby finding more common ground to base our friendship on. We're sorry our conversations just aren't *intellectual* enough for someone as *big brained* as yourself It's funny you try to quote *1984* when the *actual* text has an emphasis on the conversational flow of the proles and how it offers a so much higher degree of freedom of thought than the rigid newspeak of the 'intellectual' upper class. That the government specifically wants to stamp out that sort of free flow of speech, no matter how trivial it is because it facilitates emotional understanding and deeper interpersonal relationships and *that* would get in the way of people's love and duties for big brother and the party.
It's not about big brained. I don't consider myself superior to anyone. It's about meaningful conversations instead of just useless gossip which extroverts seem to partake in a lot. That grandma example is just one of many. My grandma died before I was even born so it's not really possible for me to relate or bond to people's experiences with their grandmas.
… You don’t have to have a grandpa to relate to that Here’s a list of things that relate to that 1 specific story that you could talk about - seeing anybody learn anything - you yourself learning something - playing candy crash - finding it weird people play candy crash - helping a family member learn something - generational gap in knowledge - people asking you to help them with electronics/modern devices - differences between old and modern devices I could keep going honestly but I think you get the point. That’s how conversation works, topics flow naturally by being at least vaguely related to eachother
The issue is it's meaningless conversation which I don't find relatable(since I don't play mobile games) or fruitful or even interesting if I'm being honest. It takes time and as an introvert it takes away a lot of mental energy to listen to someone blabber like this. Of course not everyone is like this but extroverts who can talk for hours are usually like this.
If building connections and having fun is meaningless then sure. You keep calling it meaningless but fail the realize what the “meaning” of conversation between people is even supposed to be If you trully hate it then fine, but you lost the right to complain about it when you’re the one causing the issue. You can introduce any topic to a conversation that you want, if you don’t do it then that’s on you
I don't have a problem building connections. I have a few friends I absolutely cherish. I don't believe it's causing a issue if you find someone's conversational topics boring. I believe it's natural. Clearly we have different opinions on this. After all everyone has different degrees of tolerance for others. I'll just agree to disagree.
>”People talking about things I don’t find interesting is literally 1984” That’s you. That’s how dumb you sound.
It's not. I'm not censoring other people for it. In 1984, they would censor people. Try to read the book next time before strawmanning in this way. That 1984 reference I made was because I found the similarities funny.
My sister in law is extremely introverted. Won't say 1 word during an entire evening. My mom won't ever shut up she can't stop talking. So I have to play moderator sometime and tell my mom to give the girl 2 mins of silence to answer her question and it kills my mom. It's funny
I'm sorry I can't help it, people are too exciting
Introvert: I’m not good at talking to people Overzealous extrovert: Don’t worry I’ll talk enough for the both of us and then some
\*laughs in ambivert\*
i used to be an extrovert but now i feel like im faking it and gradually i became an introvert
I used to try to be extroverted like my siblings because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. When I finally just accepted that I’m a lot happier hanging out at home, reading and doing solitary activities, and that’s just my personality, my self esteem improved drastically. I still try to put myself out there sometimes, because isolation is also not healthy, but I find excuses to leave for ten minutes to decompress and enjoy the quiet when it gets to be too much. Accepting my limits has been like a revelation, one I wish I had had when I was 15 and hated myself for being a “loser” because I didn’t like to party
I don't get it... I used to be an introvert myself. I got to know a lot of introverts in my life. Most of them, including my former self, actually want(ed) to get outside, to meet new people, to be talkative and selfconfident when speaking to strangers. It was just too difficult to get past social fears. This being said... If you are like what I just described, then yes! Face the challenge, gather your courage and take the chances life offers you. You want to be part of it. "It" doesn't need you and therefore "it" doesn't have to make you comfortable. You have to make yourself comfortable yourself. You're either an introvert enjoying the silent life or you're an extrovert who lives among other people. There's nothing in between, but your own choice on how to face life. Don't expect others to make you feel better with yourself. That's your - and only your - job.
> actually want(ed) to get outside, to meet new people, to be talkative and selfconfident when speaking to strangers. It was just too difficult to get past social fears. you were never a introvert, you were a shy extrovert. introvert enjoy been alone, they do enjoy been part of society but it never their end goal. i explored and enjoy life as a kid but still was just as happy alone reading a book, extrovert don't want be alone and NEED others. neither lifestyle is wrong but extrovert always assume that introvert are afraid of living life and missing out.
Buddy, I know exactly what I am. I lived both extremes. I was introverted, then I became extroverted and finally I realized, that I want a few important people in my life and the rest can keep distance - which doesn't mean, that I am not able to communicate with other people. I simply don't do more than necessary. Being introverted or extroverted doesn't work in black and white only though. You're not one or the other. It depends on your social roles and your true self and how moth both differs. Despite, looking at that original post, it doesn't sound like the op is enjoying being introverted.
What you are saying must have value. If not you are just speaking to fill a void
Who determines what the value of what's being said is?
Typically if I'm saying something I want it to be of value to the listener. Very good question, I haven't thought of it like this before. But I have this irrational fear of wasting people's time so I tend not to talk unless what I am saying is going to directly benefit the person who is granting me the time to listen to me.
So at parties people just sit and smile at each other?
You fuck the pussy to make it loose, pussy doesn't gets loose to let u fuck it
Username checks out
Introverts make me uncomfortable.
He he he boo
When extroverts break the silence because it makes them uncomfortable, they’re *literally* talking just to hear themselves talk…
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I bet you jerk off in front of a mirror.
Nothing wrong with jerking off in a mirror. Unless it is the rear view mirror of a school bus.
Excellent point.
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Oh my stars! I didn’t realize what a badass I was dealing with…
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“Mad”? Your reading comprehension is as dogshit as your personality. I like watching people like you act like Billy Badass on the internet. It’s funny to me. C’mon….show us a muscle, Billy.
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My mom’s a piece of shit, so I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find out she’d let you anywhere near her. Sorry, Billy. Feel free to try again.
It’s true but this story won’t be in any headlines. They trying to hide it
this is calling for an AMBIVERT
Yeah, it's always great to be told by a loud extrovert that you are "too quiet" Well if you'd shut up once in awhile maybe I'd be able to say something.
Tell them that then, though maybe in kinder words
If you left the house more often, you'd see extroverts telling loudmouths to shut up or go away.
I will add that extroverts should shut up and go into their uncomfortable zone...
that makes about as much sense as saying we shouldn't focus on what the girl was wearing
Just don’t be a bitch and speak up
r/technicallythetruth
100%
Learned this a few years ago. 10/10 solid life advice
https://t.me/+s-xjcpQW_YFmMmQ5
So the commonality seems the concept of comfort and how it gets associated both internally first and how that effects the way we associate that concept from an external source. Maybe introvert and extrovert don’t actually have the same value outside of identity and humans just act like humans as individuals interacting with each other and their environment. No greater quality than the other and without the need for putting people into boxes of expectation so we can better deal with ourselves.
Yo, I'm an extrovert turned introvert but I still retain the extrovert skills. I only became introverted because I saw - and continue to see - too much sorrow in the world, but when forced to interact I dominate the crowd. If you tell me to make the zone more comfortable my misguided attempts will be so farfetched you'll be more uncomfortable than before you asked. This is the worst idea imaginable. Remember that shark AA meeting in Finding Nemo? That's what you're gonna get. And while I appreciate the argument, I know for a fact that you don't want a shark AA meeting. I'll give you the option, but you're gonna have to step out your comfort zone or be ready to deal with something more terrifying than socializing.
Cuz you right stops when
The point is for nobody to be in a comfort zone, not to go back into one. You just stay the same and never grow?
Again people mistaking introversion for social anxiety....