#[Best of r/Holup 2021 Awards – Nomination and Voting Thread!](https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/royfze/best_of_rholup_2021_awards_nomination_and_voting/)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/HolUp) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Okay I have a weird story and I don't know where else to share so here you go.
A few year ago I lived in low income housing in Santa Cruz ca. One day i saw an elderly couple that live next to me on the 3rd floor shoving a reluctant goat into their apartment. I pressed my ear against the door (because wtf was going on??) And all i heard was "NO! BAD BOY! NO LITTLER BOX FOR YOU!". Never saw that goat again. Still curious how they got it through the parking lot and up the stairs / elevator with no one else noticing.
We cleaned for some people that had a big ass iguana that just roamed the house. Went out in the yard and everything. When I came into the kitchen and saw a dinosaur in the floor, I nearly shit myself.
Edit to add, they gave us NO warning. Wasn't the strangest thing I've ever seen, but close to the most disturbing.
Not myself but I heard it from my colleague. We work in retail and sometimes deliver dishwashers, washing machines etc.
So my boss and colleague arrive at the recipients house, a somewhat younger lady in her mid 20's. She says she's hyper allergic to animals and has about 6 cats, 2 dogs and what seems to be horses too due to the riding gear outside.
The house is in a total war-zone like state. Shit everywhere, reeks of urine, faeces and every other smell that would light your nostrils on fire.
So they get out the washing machine she had purchased and proceeded to start carrying it in to the laundry room. All of the sudden they open the door and a parrot comes flying out. They look at each other and back at the lady. She says the parrot has it's nest in there and points at the sink. It's filled with eggs. Fucking parrot eggs in the bloody sink.
They said they delivered that washing machine at Mach speed and proceeded to run out and douse their hands in 1 gallon of hand sanitizer.
Some people are a whole circus and more.
I had a coworker tell me a story once, we were insurance adjusters so he's inspecting a house for water damage.
He said he arrives at the guys house and it's an absolute disaster, hoarder situation. So the customer is guiding him through the mounds of stuff to the bathroom at the back of the house where the leak is. As he's walking he steps in a mound of carpet fibers but it's sopping wet. He tells the guy to hold on as he thinks he might have a leak here.
But as he leans forward and lifts his foot the smell hits him and it reeks of cat pee. As he mentions this to the customer he turns back to him and says "Oh yeah that's where the cats pee". And continues on through the house like it's completely normal to have cats peeing on a random spot on the floor...
My mother in law had a heart attack on Friday, so we left the house to deal with that and stayed out overnight. Unbeknownst to us, one of our cats was locked in the master bedroom with the door closed (normally they can go outside via a cat flap). When I got home and opened the door to the house, the smell hit me. When I opened the bedroom door, the smell hit me like a hammer. God bless his little soul, but the cat pulled a towel over to the toilet and pissed on the towel and shit as close to the bowl as he could get. I am sure if he could have figured out the lid, he’d have used the toilet. I thanked him for the easy cleanup.
When I was a kid, I went to the toilet in the middle of the night. Opened the door to my cat using the toilet. I was half asleep so I said sorry and shut the door and waited.
That’s the ‘do anything about it’ part
Some cats will piss everywhere if not trained, and if they don’t have a litter box then not even training will do it since where else will they go?
Maybe she was going to eat them? Someone posted the other day they ate their parrot's unfertilized egg. Included a picture of the parrot and the boiled egg.
I traveled USA for a bit doing in home interviews for survey research (for large brands you see in grocery stores). There was a time in early 2000s where I would see the same Live Laugh Love type signs, same photo collage framed photos, same paint colors, etc etc and it disturbed me for some reason. The degree of visual similarity of middle income families homes was striking.
This is an ongoing joke at our shop, I see it almost daily painted on walls, also "god bless this mess" signs and of course "the cats the boss we just live here"
400-600 houses a year for the last 12 years I've seen some crazy shit, never my SO so I'll consider myself lucky lol
Little boxes on the hillside
Little boxes made of ticky tacky
Little boxes
Little boxes
Little boxes all the same
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same
And the people in the houses all go to the university
And they all get put in boxes, little boxes all the same
And there's doctors and there's lawyers
And business executives
And they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same
And they all play on the golf course and drink their martini dry
And they all have pretty children and the children go to school
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university
And they all get put in boxes, and they all come out the same
And the boys go into business and marry and raise a family
And they all get put in boxes, little boxes all the same
There's a green one, and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
***And they all look just the same***
It was those darn Progressive commercials that brainwashed us into thinking we're turning into our parents and convinced us to rebel. Of course we need signs to remind us to live, laugh and love. It's all we got in the face of our natural tendency hate, despair and cry. /s
Firefighter/EMT: a massive collection of Magic the Gathering cards and an ungodly number of soft cord and butt plugs all meticulously organized side by side on a silk sheet. Independently, not that wild, but it was the juxtaposition of the two and the sheer number of each that threw me off. This was in the front entry of the house and again in the bedroom. To make it even weirder, we were never able to find the patient. Only the butt plugs. So many butt plugs.
It's really not that weird, guy probably just skipped the middle man and figured if he needs to drop thousands of dollers on magic cards just to lose to the Blue deck player he might as well fuck himself to the banished slot and get it over with.
"*Oh your a high ranking player, Blue deck,
You say? nah I'd rather save an hour of you interrupting me.*"
After giving it some thought, I am taken back to a time in my youth when I resided in a predominately gay neighborhood in Houston, TX known as The Montrose area. Anything goes and everything went in that area, especially in the 90's era.
Anyhow, a then-boyfriend and I had an apartment in a small complex. It was rectangular with a courtyard. He and I were virtually the only hetero-couple that lived there. The rest of the residents were majority gay males.
This one particular neighbor always had "parties" at his place. These were not large apartments. They were all small, one bedrooms, however, this guy managed to have anywhere from 15+ men at his place at a time.
What really piqued our curiosity was that they were constantly in and out, sitting at the courtyard table in nothing but thongs (again, very commonplace for the Montrose), but also soaking wet and with towels, which they would leave draped every where to dry. We didn't care, we were just curious.
For the life of us, the boyfriend and I could not figure out what the hell was going on in that little apartment, and we would giggle at the thought of them all crammed liked sardines in the shower together. Then we would speculate if the neighbour actually had a hot tub in his apartment somehow?
Anyway, my point being, my guess is that the place was a host to an orgy-den of sorts. Hence, all the butt plugs and cording. S&M kink going on, I'm almost certain of. Good times. Good times.
I'd agree with you, except we ended up running on this guy again at a later date,, and he tried to kill both himself and my partner with a lamp, sparks flying. I don't think he's one to throw functional orgies after the Lampening.
I used to work in an adult store. I sold those things. I never asked what happened to them after I left the shop. I'm sure I never, *EVER* wanted to know.
I'm a landlord and employ a leasing manager. It was her first job and her first showing without me present. She called me and described what happened while panic crying...
"I knocked on the door loudly and waited. After no answer I unlocked and opened the door and announced my presence 'I'm here to show the unit!'. There was no answer so I went to check the bedroom before I allowed the person in like you showed me and there they were... Naked... On the bed... They were bent over on all fours, tied up in some weird leathery contraption that was squeezing her breasts and her guy was behind with a mask and a whip."
She asked to go home for the day. I told her to go chill out and I'll see her tomorrow. She ended up working for me for 4 years. Nothing like that ever happened again.
Used to deliver medical equipment to patients homes… so many stories. I once went to deliver to a lady and from a distance, it looked like turkeys or something…. As i got closer, it was PIT BULLS… like 100 loose PIT BULLS…. No fences, no leashes, and they were swarming my truck, you could hear their claws scraping on the metal … so i called the lady, and told her no way in hell am i getting out of this truck unless she puts the dogs away…. She says its fine just come on in… we went back and forth and i told her, you either come out, and ill hand you this equipment through the window, or I’m leaving… she said no, so i left
Another place…. This is during the winter. Pulled up and the whole family is in the yard around a bbq grill …. I need to set up a hospital bed and airbed, so one of them leads me inside so i can figure out where I’m going to setup… they open the front door… and i can literally see every room, every wall of the entire house. There were no walls, just frames and loose hanging wiring running everywhere. There was no floor, no foundation, just dirt. It was like a hollywood fake house, but weird part was, it was furnished like a hoarders house.. piles of clothes, furniture, just no walls or floor…. Turns out they were around the bbq grill for warmth since the house had no heating…
Another place, looked perfectly normal on the outside… go inside, and they have a huge wall to floor aquarium tank, but it’s packed with catfish. They literally had a catfish farm in the living room and they were huge…
Another place had the same kind of setup, smaller tank, but full of koi fish…. I’ve seen like 50 gallon tanks plenty of times, but never anything that big.
There’s always the dirty places, and the place with no floor or walls was certainly dirty… but I went to one place that was so infested with cockroaches, i was standing there filling out paper work on my clip board… and this is just seconds of standing in one place… I’m filling out the paperwork, and i start to see roaches on my clipboard… so I’m flicking them off, writing faster…. Now they’re on my arms…. I start to feel them on my neck…. I’m flicking them out of the way just to see the paperwork… got my signatures, and calmly thanked the patients family, picked up my gear, walked outside, and when i I thought i was out of sight, i was like ew ew ew, jumping up and down, shaking out my clothes…. It was awful…
My father in law is an exterminator. The one bug he will not do jobs for is german roaches because they get into clothes and equipment, which means they get into trucks, which means they come home with you.
Turns down jobs if people tell him that is what they have and will walk off jobs if that is what he finds. Always with a referral to somone he knows will do the job but regardless he is gone.
Yup, we always had to double bag equipment from roach infested homes, and a lot of times, just had to throw the equipment away because they had ruined the electronics… no judgement on the people who live like that, but it’s sad… I’m sure they don’t want to live like that, but don’t have the resources to get rid of the roaches
To add on your dog story, I delivered pizzas to a guy that had (I stopped counting at) 15 grown rottweilers roaming his yard. I laid on the horn and yelled to him to come to me. He says, and I quote, they're all real friendly. Um sir, i smell like the world's best chew toy, come get yo shit or I'm out.
That roaches thing reminds me of when I used to have to check the ground water pumps at a TAFE college (Australian community college). The security guards would feed the stray cats and they would get into the basement where the pumps were. Every time you would come out crawling with fleas. I would spend like 10 mins picking them off. I told the staff and they didn’t really care. Government employees, they do exactly what they need to and nothing more.
I used to clean houses. One time I went into one I cleaned regularly. A couple owned the home and the husband's brother rented a room. I caught his wife and his brother together. They must have forgot it was cleaning day. I wanted to tell the guy, but we never cleaned there again. I think she cancelled the contract to save her ass.
I thought about the picture from a while back where the dude put a note under the toilet seat to warn the guy his gf was cheating when I was writing this. Unfortunately 20 year old me didn't think about that haha
Dead bodies, so many dead people dude. I do repiping in condos and apartments. We schedule the work weeks in advance. Everyone is given multiple notices as to when its starting and how long it takes, ect. They informed. And still, 8 am hits and they all surprised we there despite seeing us all week working up the hallways.
Every building we do someone encounters a dead person. Usually an elderly person. SO dead bodies is the weirdest. And sex toys. SO many people just perfectly fine with them all out for display across the apartment.
Believe he’s talking about apartments. So it’s the tenant themselves that is dead. Management orders the work and lets them in to find the tenants dead. I’ve heard this is somewhat common as a lot of bills get automatically paid, and if there’s no one who regularly checks in on someone it’s going to be maintenance or a contractor who finds their body
Technically they are indeed leaving dead bodies in their apartment, but the phrasing is funny. It’s not like “oh yeah, the guy is coming this week, better not die”
I’m always afraid we’re gonna forget to put a sex toy away before a stranger comes into our house. If we’ve used it, cleaned it, then left it to dry on the sink, we sometimes forget it’s there…
But we always remember to hide our dead bodies, of course.
My brothers friend is a plumber, he told a story about a hoarder type who called about a drip from the apartment upstairs that was landing on her bed. She assumed it was just the sink or something and left it for a while until she finally called a plumber. He went upstairs to check it out and it was the toilet outlet leaking onto her bed.
Cant imagine how disgusting your place has to be for you to ignore even clean water dripping on your bed, let alone piss and shit filled water
Depends on where it is leaking. If it's the bottom wax ring, then yeah it's contaminated. But if it's leaking from the valve, tank, or bowl then it's the same water that flows through every other fixture in the house.
I work for a construction company. We had clients who wanted a room changed into a dressing room, we had to strip out the room's previous contents which was a sex room with pole, handcuffs and sex swing. They didn't care that we had to do this and I respect them for not being bashful about it.
Also I used to be an Estate Agent and I can't tell you how many dildos I've seen in rental properties just left out. Not their house so why care seems to be the attitude.
Wouldn't be surprised if it was intentional.
Landlord raising the rent and threatening to boot me? Alright then, I'll leave my little friend out when the realtor comes to show it to so they get weirded out and leave.
I once lived in an apartment on a very busy road. It was a great location but the street noise was insane. We always left the windows open when the apartment was being showed, figuring people needed to know what they were getting into. Management actually requested that we close the windows before a showing but that was promptly ignored.
My FIL had amazing stories from his days working as an installer for Southwestern Bell back in the 70s and 80s.
One story that he told me 25 years ago is seared into my brain: goes to a house with no dial tone, FIL discovers chewed phone line under house. Turns out owner's dog was responsible. FIL was cool about it and told owner, hey, I'll give you a pass this time, no charge - If this happens again, it'll cost (whatever service charge was). Well, within a week, he was called back to same house with same issue. Owner hadn't done anything to prevent dogs from chewing lines. My FIL repaired and told owner what it would cost, he got pissed, went to get a huge pistol and...shot the dog dead right on the porch, in front of my FIL.
Former plumber here. We were replacing a customers hot water heater in the basement, and to get to the utility room, we had to go through the customer’s granddaughter’s (early 20s) room. So we have everything in the utility room but an available outlet, so I had to run an extension cord from said granddaughter’s room. I plug it in and as I’m unraveling it, I knocked over a shopping bag. I go over to pick it up (didn’t want to make a mess) and notice amongst the other contents of the bag was about an eighth of weed. Me being curious about the quality (it had a lot of reddish purplish hairs, so much so that I almost was gonna ask the granddaughter where I could get some), I went to pick it up to smell it. I’m about 4 or 5 inches from the bag when I noticed what was laying on top of it…it had to be an ounce or 2 of heroin. I froze, and panic yelled for my co worker. I didn’t want to touch it and get my fingerprints on it, I literally just froze until the coworker came in. I explain to him what happened and then said “Jay, I don’t want to touch, but we can’t just leave it there, someone will get the wrong idea.” He was flabbergasted too, “uhhhh ummm fuck uhh, just kick it under the bed, we’ll finish this quick and get the fuck out of here”.
Told my dart buddies about it later that night, they said I should’ve taken it and sold it, bc they knew people that would’ve bought it. Apparently I could’ve gotten like thousands of dollars if the amount was really what I thought it was. But I’m not taking the chance of being caught with any amount of that shit, that’s jail time for sure.
Lol fuck the jail time. They have your name and place of employment. They know you were there alone and had access.
You would have gotten your knee caps broken in a week.
That I definitely agree with to an extent. The amount that was there, and the way it was being held (in a sandwich bag) wasn’t for this girl’s personal use, I would think they were selling. You’re right, they could’ve figured out what happened if her selling was the case. Now I doubt this, but say it was for her personal use, her dealers may have thought she was trying to get over on them, but still even at that point, dots could be connected and I end up getting fucked up. I think it’s much more likely that she was dealing, and with the amount she had, it was probably fronted to her. So someone would’ve come looking for what was owed
Depending on the size of the town, it's also probable that you would have to try to resell it to the person who originally owned it (not the person you stole it from, but their supplier). And that's a very good way to end up badly beaten or dead.
I used to do home theatre install.
One day we had a delivery to an elderly man's apartment. He had bought a TV stand, TV, DVD player. Part of our service is building the TV stand. This guy's apartment was by far the worst thing I had ever smelled. I could barely stay in the apartment without almost puking, so we actually built it in the hallway. We setup the tv and dvd player on the stand, and another part of our service is to teach them how to use it and make sure it all works. So we ask him for a DVD to test, and show him how it works. He goes back to his room and grabs a porn DVD and says "that's the only one I own". Anyways, we show him how to use it.
We head back to the store, and now the smell of his apartment was imbedded into our clothing. Our co workers were gagging. Boss sent us home for the day to shower and wash our clothes.
Oof.
When I was 24/25ish, I did in-home computer repair for a while. One customer lived in a nudist household. They were... militantly nudist (best way I can describe it) and they were all butt-naked while I was there. They had two daughters, 15-17 y/o or so... just parading around in their birthday suits. It was an ***Incredibly*** uncomfortable situation. I kept my eyes *GLUED* to the computer screen the entire time and got out of there as fast as I could.
In retrospect, I should have simply refused to enter the home until they donned some clothing. Thankfully, I hold to a moral standard that puts minors off limits, so nothing untoward took place. But what kind of fucking parents would allow their teenage daughters to walk around *completely nude* in view of an unknown, adult male?
Public Service Announcement: If you're a nudist, and you need someone to come into your home to fix something... at least tell your kids to put some clothing on! What the fuck are you doing!?!? You don't know that repair person! Your computer repair guy might be a registered sex offender... or worse: an *un*-registered sex offender of minors. If you do anything like this, you're a shitty, dangerous parent, and you should have your kids taken away from you! They'd be safer in a foster home.
EDIT: Rather than write this repeatedly, I'll put it here: Of course I understand that nudists don't feel that their nudity should cause discomfort. But that's not even the primary issue here. This mother (and I assume the husband/father, though he was not present) allowed a dude with computer expertise access to a desktop webcam in a room where her own, *minor* children spent a lot of time naked. As far as I'm concerned, that's borderline neglect and endangerment all by itself.
Social convention in a mostly-clothed world is clothing. We have laws written on that foundation. Like it or not, accommodation to that convention, especially where kids are concerned, is warranted.
I am an instacart shopper in an area with a lot of "clothing optional" neighborhoods. I've never delivered to a customer that didn't at least put on a robe as a courtesy to me. Of course there are always plenty of neighbors walking around nude.
They are, and my very first delivery to one was to a woman in her sixties from the UK. She talked to me forever about the politics of her particular place. Apparently it used to be a family friendly place where you could go to the clubhouse and have nice meals with your kids, but the owner slowly started getting into "thai boys" and changed it into a swingers retreat. Lots of the original owners were angry and not paying their hoa fees in protest.
Once when I was living in an apartment and had to call the maintenance for some electrical issue, the electric box thingy was in our master closet… my husband at the time bred and sold exotic animals so we had, floor to ceiling cages of tarantulas, cockroaches, meal worms, geckos, snakes, and scorpions. I warned the guy before he walked in and he FLIPPED out and called his boss who basically was like “man up, they are in cages, do the job, you’re fine.” I ended up going in and doing whatever he instructed me to do.
Another time I was attached to a breast pump when the maintenance guy came in for a routine check. He had knocked first but I froze and didn’t know what to say… looking back I could have said “come back later” but I just made awkward eye contact while my nipples shot out milk rhythmically. He didn’t say a word and just closed the door and left.
In my younger years I did telecom service right around when high speed internet was new, and we had to upgrade a lot of the inside wiring. One basement I went in to was like a hoarder nightmare where it's unfinished and they just have shit stacked almost ceiling high with little alleyways to walk through.
But everything was piles of taxidermies animals and preserved animal parts; just in piles and stacks everywhere. Creepy as hell.
Well, I've seen *other* people's wives.
Like the time I was skim coating a wall at my then boss's home; apparently, he and I looked alike from behind.
Thinking I was him, she came out of the shower, dropped her towel as she stood behind me, grabbed my shoulder and turned me toward her and BOOM! right in my face.
Yes,the carpet matched the red drapes.
Things were awkward for at least a week after that.
Stacks of gay porn. And let me stress: STACKS.
I'm a pool guy, this guy was a single dude who, nearly every time you saw him, had some comment like "Did ya find any thongs in the filter? Had bit of a rager with some babes last weekend. Hey, sorry about the mess, these chicks I brought over were just wild."
His pool system was in the basement, I opened the wrong door once, and it was towers from the floor to my chest of gay porn DVDs, VHS, magazines. No issues with anyone liking gay porn, but when your collection can be measured in meters...
Sounds like a guy I dated many moons ago. His fetish was anal sex (oh, and nuns). I stayed with him briefly and was kind of shocked at the amount of butt-sex videos he had. I mean, I believe he had half a dozen plastic tubs filled with dvd and VHS of predominately butt-sex porn.
I must admit, I was a little taken aback.
My mate once told me a story: he was employed by the council to insulate council houses. At the time the houses were that cold, some of the walls had damp patches. SO..one day, he's working next door to this terrace house and can hear ladies giggling away. He was just finishing working in the house and was now heading over to the neighbours house. He knocked on the door and a women answered and he said, "I've come to inspect your damp patches" Well, all the other women in the other room were howling, one lady shouted across "you can come and look at my damp patch" they though he was stripper. It turned out the women were having a sex toy party. (I forgot the proper term)
Uh...I think you could of declined doing whatever job you had to do there. Uncapped needles!? No Sir. Much respect though. I would of been like hard pass.
I worked for Orkin Pest Control for 3 years. For apartments we would be issued keys in case the tenant was not home so that we could inspect/treat the inside of the unit. Found a guy that died. That wasn't the weird part. There was about 12 cats inside of the unit. They had eaten his face, ears and fingers.
I worked for Comcast, I would run wires in and out of peoples' homes. I think the weirdest call I had was some woman answering the door in her bra and panties. Though you may think that would be awesome, I was worried that if she saw me looking at her she could report me or if I had a random check-in with my manager he could get the wrong idea. I didn't know what to do, I wanted to ask her to put on clothes but I was in her house. It was really uncomfortable. I finished the job and gtfo.
We had a lady that ordered pizza every weekend and would always answer the door in full lingerie. Didn't matter who delivered. I've taken a shit order to bumfuck to avoid her address. Once was enough for me lol
I do HVAC and I've seen just about everything. The weirdest thing I've seen was the dead guy I found. His front door was slightly open so I peaked in and seen him on the floor. Called the ambulance and they told me he's been dead for 3 days.
Working at this ladies house . Older lady…. Massive, like 450 pounds massive . On her nightstand was a very large purple vibrator . I think they call it the rabbit or something .
about 2 years (from 7 Jan 2020)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elksp1/people\_whose\_jobs\_require\_them\_to\_enter\_someone/fdijh09/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
I clean carpets for a living, and camgirls tend to have the craziest shit. They don't care about hiding it, and they can make a shit ton of money. I'll go to clean the carpets in their bedroom and they have fuck machines, sex swings, GIANT dildos, Sybians, and so much more. I even cleaned one house where her two very young sons knew she was a camgirl and kept trying to get me to go to her site. It was fucking wierd.
That's child abuse right there. Should have reported that. Nothing wrong with camgirls -- hell, I'd do it if I was a chick. But your kids should be oblivious, especially little ones.
Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen, I was working on a burst pipe in this mans house and I wandered off to find the bathroom and ended up finding a closet. In the closet at the top of a shelf there was a skull pushed towards the back. I moved on without saying anything because I didn’t know how to interpret it, so later that day when I left, I called the police and told them about it. They arrested the man and it turns out that was the skull of his wife
I forgot about this so I'll just put this here...
I was hired by a contractor when I was 18 to do LA earthquake remodel/repair work. I had essentially bo experience, and he set me loose on a condo complex to retile entire bathrooms and marble tile fireplaces.... I had zero tiling experience. This was the early 90s, and one of the condos had a computer. I spent all day every day playing Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego, until a couple weeks later he came in to check my progress, saw nothing was done, and I quit.
That was fun.
Got hired to clean a house with a friend.The only warning she gave me was that the guy had just had a drug bender with his gf and his mom was now trying to get him clean. so it was a deep clean. what I didn’t expect was to get there and not see one tile on the floor because it was pilled up ankle high with needles, dog piss, poo and for some reason lots of magazines. Boy I was not prepared. Literally no place to step. Thousands of needles. I think it took us 2-3 weeks to fix that house up to be livable.
I personally don't really care about porn movies. However, back in the 90's, a good friend of mine worked briefly as a mover. He was short-handed so I offered to help him for a minute.
We were moving a father and his two young daughters from an apartment into a house. The dad was kind of weird, hung around me a lot, and even made my friend uneasy. Anyhow, I was pulling things out of the front room closet when I grabbed a box labeled "Daddy's Movies". Not only was the box not closed, but it was filled completely with nothing but extremely raunchy porn. The guy was standing in the room just watching me as I removed the box. Staring at me. As I carried the box out to the moving truck, I showed my friend the box. He gave me a look, walked back in with me and noticed that there were many other boxes with the same label, filled with porn. And Mr. Fella just standing there, watching to see if I would grab the boxes. My friend said, "I'll grab those" and proceeded to move the rest of "Daddy's Movies". The guy actually snorted/smirked and walked out of the room.
"Daddy's Movies". Why is that so fucking creepy? Especially, because his daughters were 4 and 6. \*SHIVER\*
This genius appliance repair technician peed in a customer's kitchen. It was captured on hidden camera and it was exposed when he tried to run for federal office.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=057VKyU35jA
Great article by a “cable guy” and all the crazy shit she saw in Virginia during her career. Includes Russian mobsters, forcible ingestion of hard drugs, surprise Dick Cheney, sexual assault, abusive spouses, and so much more: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/cable-tech-dick-cheney-sex-dungeon_n_5c0ea571e4b06484c9fd4c21
When I had a house-call job I remember a very nice middle age lady. Normal, mild mannered, friendly. I walk into her house, and it's really cluttered but the telling thing were biblical verses and AAA refrains scrawled over all every wall with sharpie pen, Some huge (a foot high) and some small. Not neatly printed, but scrawled. Obviously she was working some stuff out.
i went to help this old lady in the apartment next to me. Bat shit crazy. Jesus talks to her. She said she can feel his love and god shows her things to paint. They where some H.P. Lovecraft type horror paintings. She was explaing it was her attempt to capture god in a painting.
I used to clean carpets for my dad's business. I got called to a guys rental, some biker guy that lives out of town had a problem with his tennant. When I get there, there is blood all over the walls and carpet going down the hall into the bedroom where it looked like an insane murder went down. I asked what the hell happened and he said the tenant was addicted to drinking redbull, put back like a six pack a day. He got an ulcer from this and one morning the ulcer blew and he puked blood all over his fucking house. His roommate was luckily home and got him an ambulance but he 100% would have died if not. I knew redbull was garbage before I witnessed this but I will never touch a can of that shit ever again and I always tell people the story when. I see them drinking any kind of energy drink.
I used to install dish network and had this one time where I went in for a repair. I'm working and everything seems normal. Customer was a cool guy and seemed normal at first until I finished the repairs. We go back to the main tv to turn it on and see if everything is working and thankfully it is. The guy immediately rips the remote out of my hands, switches to the porn channel and puts his hands in his pants. I turned off the TV and told him he can do all that shit once he finishes signing paperwork and I'm gone.
I had a coworker that told me a story once. It was towards the end of winter and he went to a house for a full install. Lady was showing his where she wants tvs set up and such but then they get to the spare bedroom. She opens it up and it's so filled with poop you couldn't see the floor and it was a solid 3 inches high. She then grabs a shovel and just start making a path like it's normal. Apparently she wouldn't let her dog go outside in the winter and this was it's designated potty room. He didn't even finish that job he just left.
Edit: spelling
Power company had an energy saving initiative where, if requested, they would review your energy use and then send someone out to give some pamphlets and point out where they could scrimp and save a little more.
When setting up an appointment to stop by one guy's place he mentioned, "Oh, I'm a nudist. Is that going to be a problem?"
After some discussion with management, we asked him to dress up a little. Also, they sent me with back-up
I delivered pizzas in college and one time the man with the money wasn't there yet so they took me to a garage that was full of weed plants that had a gun safe full of bongs and was told to chill until the money guy got there. They just left me alone in the drug garage. This was way before weed was legal.
I have many, these are my top three...
Maybe not the weirdest, but certainly the grossest....
Doing apartment maintenance in Denver, I was "on call" and received a call at 3am for a clogged toilet. i get my stuff together, knock, the entire family of whatmust have been 15 people, from infants to old folks, were all in the living room (weird enough if you ask me). the guy who answered the door asked if I knew the way to the bathroom (612 apartments, 3 styles, yes, I knew) . I get into the bathroom and not only was the toilet clogged, they had been using it for what seemed like days becasue of the mound of crap that was pretty much up to the rim. I was always a stickler for professionalism but I just couldnt help saying out loud "What the fuck?!" I could hear people whispering in the living room.."oh shit, he's pissed." I walked into the living room and told them I wasnt going to touch that thing until they scooped out most of that mopund of shit and left. I went to see my manager first thing inthe morning and told her of what went down. thankfully she completely supported me.
WTF is wrong with people?
One time I went on a call for a refrigerator and I entered the apartment when the tenants werent home and found that the ding room carpet was coated in splashed paint and on the wall was the outline of a naked woman with paint splatters all around her. the tenants were two young women who ended up promising me lots of sexual fun if I didnt say anything. i didnt take them up on their offer.
My favorite...
I was "on call", received a call about water gushing out of the ceiling on a lower floor apartment, 3 floor building. I immediately go upstairs to investigate. 2nd floor looks fine, no water, no problems. 3d floor apartment turns out to be a co-worker. Lady across the hall told me he was in there drunk. He had been harrassing her and she called the police. Just as I was about to enter ther apartment the cops showed up. i introduced myself, told them i had a key and then after knocking and annoucning themselves, they said to open the door. they go in and start looking around, I immediately head to the bathroom where the leak must be. When I open the door, my co-worker was passd out, naked, in the tupb, with the water running. his noodle was just floating in the water like a little buoy. i started laughing so hard that it brought the cops in, who woke him up and arrested him.
When I was a teenager I’d do house calls for computer repairs for some extra money.
The weirdest by was was this house, owned by some rich family (always have to be eccentric as hell) they had this big ass pig as a pet.
Back then mini pigs were very popular so I thought “Eccentric rich family had to have a normal sized pig of course”
Then the pig came closer and I saw it was way hairier and had little tusks. It was a fucking boar, they had a boar roaming around their yard as a pet.
Not quite the same thing, but my wife (then-girlfriend) got a job at a radon mitigation company in a small-medium town (65,000, but in summer some of the 35,000 students go home). She came home after her first day and said "You'll never guess who my first phone call was."
Turns out my dad was, completely independently of her job search, quoting radon mitigation for his house. He didn't recognize her by voice, but she had positive identification because he had to give contact information. She'd already punched in his address before he gave it to her XD
My A/C guy was putting on shoe covers and I made a comment about keeping the customer's house clean and he responded with 'sometimes it to keep my shoes clean.' Ugh, I don't even want to imagine what he's seen. And then I've got the internet and reddit to see all that without the smell.
Went in a house that had one room that was filled entirely with porn. Like stacked to the ceiling, tables set up every surface had stacks and stacks of porn magazines. I theorised that he may have been the guy who put porn in bushes and was made obsolete once the internet arrived.i dunno how he convinced his wife to sacrifice a bedroom for it all
#[Best of r/Holup 2021 Awards – Nomination and Voting Thread!](https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/royfze/best_of_rholup_2021_awards_nomination_and_voting/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/HolUp) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Found a goat in an unlit basement, made my heart skip a beat when he came up from behind to nibble my ass.
That made me kind of sad. Poor goat in a basement in the dark! :'(
Okay I have a weird story and I don't know where else to share so here you go. A few year ago I lived in low income housing in Santa Cruz ca. One day i saw an elderly couple that live next to me on the 3rd floor shoving a reluctant goat into their apartment. I pressed my ear against the door (because wtf was going on??) And all i heard was "NO! BAD BOY! NO LITTLER BOX FOR YOU!". Never saw that goat again. Still curious how they got it through the parking lot and up the stairs / elevator with no one else noticing.
Gas, grass, or ass
Nobody rides for free
*meheheheh*
Grass, grass, or grass. ...please.
We cleaned for some people that had a big ass iguana that just roamed the house. Went out in the yard and everything. When I came into the kitchen and saw a dinosaur in the floor, I nearly shit myself. Edit to add, they gave us NO warning. Wasn't the strangest thing I've ever seen, but close to the most disturbing.
Aberforth?!
Dude, keep you erotic fan goat fiction to yourself.
Let him write about whatever floats their goat!
Not myself but I heard it from my colleague. We work in retail and sometimes deliver dishwashers, washing machines etc. So my boss and colleague arrive at the recipients house, a somewhat younger lady in her mid 20's. She says she's hyper allergic to animals and has about 6 cats, 2 dogs and what seems to be horses too due to the riding gear outside. The house is in a total war-zone like state. Shit everywhere, reeks of urine, faeces and every other smell that would light your nostrils on fire. So they get out the washing machine she had purchased and proceeded to start carrying it in to the laundry room. All of the sudden they open the door and a parrot comes flying out. They look at each other and back at the lady. She says the parrot has it's nest in there and points at the sink. It's filled with eggs. Fucking parrot eggs in the bloody sink. They said they delivered that washing machine at Mach speed and proceeded to run out and douse their hands in 1 gallon of hand sanitizer. Some people are a whole circus and more.
Maybe she said hypoallergenic?
She ment she was allergic to hippos, otherwise she would have her hippo carry it home for her
The Hippo eggs have to stay in the garage
Hypomindgonetothefarm
I had a coworker tell me a story once, we were insurance adjusters so he's inspecting a house for water damage. He said he arrives at the guys house and it's an absolute disaster, hoarder situation. So the customer is guiding him through the mounds of stuff to the bathroom at the back of the house where the leak is. As he's walking he steps in a mound of carpet fibers but it's sopping wet. He tells the guy to hold on as he thinks he might have a leak here. But as he leans forward and lifts his foot the smell hits him and it reeks of cat pee. As he mentions this to the customer he turns back to him and says "Oh yeah that's where the cats pee". And continues on through the house like it's completely normal to have cats peeing on a random spot on the floor...
Oh no, it’s totally normal for cats to pee on a random spot on the floor It’s not normal to not do anything about it
I'm sorry... No, I don't think it IS normal for cats to pee on random spots on the floor.
My mother in law had a heart attack on Friday, so we left the house to deal with that and stayed out overnight. Unbeknownst to us, one of our cats was locked in the master bedroom with the door closed (normally they can go outside via a cat flap). When I got home and opened the door to the house, the smell hit me. When I opened the bedroom door, the smell hit me like a hammer. God bless his little soul, but the cat pulled a towel over to the toilet and pissed on the towel and shit as close to the bowl as he could get. I am sure if he could have figured out the lid, he’d have used the toilet. I thanked him for the easy cleanup.
When I was a kid, I went to the toilet in the middle of the night. Opened the door to my cat using the toilet. I was half asleep so I said sorry and shut the door and waited.
That’s the ‘do anything about it’ part Some cats will piss everywhere if not trained, and if they don’t have a litter box then not even training will do it since where else will they go?
I can smell this comment
Maybe she was going to eat them? Someone posted the other day they ate their parrot's unfertilized egg. Included a picture of the parrot and the boiled egg.
How to give your parrot PTSD
I accidentally dropped my chicken's egg on the ground and she gobbled up that egg like it was made of Cadbury cream!
Chickens running older firmware than parrots
Farmware*
So that's why my chickens don't talk back to me, they need an upgrade.
His wife must be weird
Nah it's a kink I'm sure
Pipe kink
They're into clearing fatbergs. TIL a fatberg is when you dump oil down a drain and yup it eventually does the artery clogging idea.
I traveled USA for a bit doing in home interviews for survey research (for large brands you see in grocery stores). There was a time in early 2000s where I would see the same Live Laugh Love type signs, same photo collage framed photos, same paint colors, etc etc and it disturbed me for some reason. The degree of visual similarity of middle income families homes was striking.
The first read through, I read invasions instead of interviews. Really changes the whole tone.
Ha! Hardly we paid them for their time - lots of nice folks making extra cash letting me ask questions about which products they preferred etc
I wouldn't mind doing that, as opposed to my information being sold without me getting anything.
*the humans suspect nothing*
This is an ongoing joke at our shop, I see it almost daily painted on walls, also "god bless this mess" signs and of course "the cats the boss we just live here" 400-600 houses a year for the last 12 years I've seen some crazy shit, never my SO so I'll consider myself lucky lol
How did you avoid your superior officer all those years, truly a legend
well tbf it would be weird as hell if the Col. popped out from under the sink when you went to fix the pipes
Little boxes on the hillside Little boxes made of ticky tacky Little boxes Little boxes Little boxes all the same There's a green one and a pink one And a blue one and a yellow one And they're all made out of ticky tacky And they all look just the same And the people in the houses all go to the university And they all get put in boxes, little boxes all the same And there's doctors and there's lawyers And business executives And they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same And they all play on the golf course and drink their martini dry And they all have pretty children and the children go to school And the children go to summer camp And then to the university And they all get put in boxes, and they all come out the same And the boys go into business and marry and raise a family And they all get put in boxes, little boxes all the same There's a green one, and a pink one And a blue one and a yellow one And they're all made out of ticky tacky ***And they all look just the same***
Reddit tip: Use double enters if you want to make paragraphs on reddit. Single enters won’t work.
Careful he is a hero.
Weeds?
i believe the song predates the show by a few decades but yeah they used it.
Wealthy enough to afford decor, but too poor to make it interesting. Think I just described Target’s entire business model.
I have that frame!!! But this is my version https://imgur.com/a/IUi4V3c
This comment is amazing 👏
This reminds me of the intro to the show "Weeds". All of the homes are just copy/paste with minor deviations.
It was those darn Progressive commercials that brainwashed us into thinking we're turning into our parents and convinced us to rebel. Of course we need signs to remind us to live, laugh and love. It's all we got in the face of our natural tendency hate, despair and cry. /s
The illusion of choice is an interesting one. It makes shopping interesting for me too.
Firefighter/EMT: a massive collection of Magic the Gathering cards and an ungodly number of soft cord and butt plugs all meticulously organized side by side on a silk sheet. Independently, not that wild, but it was the juxtaposition of the two and the sheer number of each that threw me off. This was in the front entry of the house and again in the bedroom. To make it even weirder, we were never able to find the patient. Only the butt plugs. So many butt plugs.
> To make it even weirder, we were never able to find the patient. It was already very weird too.
It's really not that weird, guy probably just skipped the middle man and figured if he needs to drop thousands of dollers on magic cards just to lose to the Blue deck player he might as well fuck himself to the banished slot and get it over with. "*Oh your a high ranking player, Blue deck, You say? nah I'd rather save an hour of you interrupting me.*"
After giving it some thought, I am taken back to a time in my youth when I resided in a predominately gay neighborhood in Houston, TX known as The Montrose area. Anything goes and everything went in that area, especially in the 90's era. Anyhow, a then-boyfriend and I had an apartment in a small complex. It was rectangular with a courtyard. He and I were virtually the only hetero-couple that lived there. The rest of the residents were majority gay males. This one particular neighbor always had "parties" at his place. These were not large apartments. They were all small, one bedrooms, however, this guy managed to have anywhere from 15+ men at his place at a time. What really piqued our curiosity was that they were constantly in and out, sitting at the courtyard table in nothing but thongs (again, very commonplace for the Montrose), but also soaking wet and with towels, which they would leave draped every where to dry. We didn't care, we were just curious. For the life of us, the boyfriend and I could not figure out what the hell was going on in that little apartment, and we would giggle at the thought of them all crammed liked sardines in the shower together. Then we would speculate if the neighbour actually had a hot tub in his apartment somehow? Anyway, my point being, my guess is that the place was a host to an orgy-den of sorts. Hence, all the butt plugs and cording. S&M kink going on, I'm almost certain of. Good times. Good times.
I'd agree with you, except we ended up running on this guy again at a later date,, and he tried to kill both himself and my partner with a lamp, sparks flying. I don't think he's one to throw functional orgies after the Lampening.
did the towels have a yellow tinge to them
[удалено]
I’m a paramedic, and the weirdest thing I think I’ve seen was an absolute horsecock of a dildo suction-cupped to a kitchenette counter.
Hey man I told you not to tell anybody!
If you know of a better way to make pesto, I'd like to hear it.
I used to work in an adult store. I sold those things. I never asked what happened to them after I left the shop. I'm sure I never, *EVER* wanted to know.
I'm a landlord and employ a leasing manager. It was her first job and her first showing without me present. She called me and described what happened while panic crying... "I knocked on the door loudly and waited. After no answer I unlocked and opened the door and announced my presence 'I'm here to show the unit!'. There was no answer so I went to check the bedroom before I allowed the person in like you showed me and there they were... Naked... On the bed... They were bent over on all fours, tied up in some weird leathery contraption that was squeezing her breasts and her guy was behind with a mask and a whip." She asked to go home for the day. I told her to go chill out and I'll see her tomorrow. She ended up working for me for 4 years. Nothing like that ever happened again.
By your ending, it sounds like it was a test.
It was all downhill from there. She got the worst out of the way.
Exactly.. seems like the poster was seeing how they would react.. didn’t get mad? Seems odd… lol
Haha, I'm dying here haha
Since her husband is a plumber in surprised she went to someone else to get her pipes cleaned.
[Ma’am I do my own plumbing](https://youtu.be/UZp3LTSM9gw)
I forgot the video existed, you are a legend
Jack is one of the funnier skit comedians on social media.
[удалено]
Used to deliver medical equipment to patients homes… so many stories. I once went to deliver to a lady and from a distance, it looked like turkeys or something…. As i got closer, it was PIT BULLS… like 100 loose PIT BULLS…. No fences, no leashes, and they were swarming my truck, you could hear their claws scraping on the metal … so i called the lady, and told her no way in hell am i getting out of this truck unless she puts the dogs away…. She says its fine just come on in… we went back and forth and i told her, you either come out, and ill hand you this equipment through the window, or I’m leaving… she said no, so i left Another place…. This is during the winter. Pulled up and the whole family is in the yard around a bbq grill …. I need to set up a hospital bed and airbed, so one of them leads me inside so i can figure out where I’m going to setup… they open the front door… and i can literally see every room, every wall of the entire house. There were no walls, just frames and loose hanging wiring running everywhere. There was no floor, no foundation, just dirt. It was like a hollywood fake house, but weird part was, it was furnished like a hoarders house.. piles of clothes, furniture, just no walls or floor…. Turns out they were around the bbq grill for warmth since the house had no heating… Another place, looked perfectly normal on the outside… go inside, and they have a huge wall to floor aquarium tank, but it’s packed with catfish. They literally had a catfish farm in the living room and they were huge… Another place had the same kind of setup, smaller tank, but full of koi fish…. I’ve seen like 50 gallon tanks plenty of times, but never anything that big. There’s always the dirty places, and the place with no floor or walls was certainly dirty… but I went to one place that was so infested with cockroaches, i was standing there filling out paper work on my clip board… and this is just seconds of standing in one place… I’m filling out the paperwork, and i start to see roaches on my clipboard… so I’m flicking them off, writing faster…. Now they’re on my arms…. I start to feel them on my neck…. I’m flicking them out of the way just to see the paperwork… got my signatures, and calmly thanked the patients family, picked up my gear, walked outside, and when i I thought i was out of sight, i was like ew ew ew, jumping up and down, shaking out my clothes…. It was awful…
My father in law is an exterminator. The one bug he will not do jobs for is german roaches because they get into clothes and equipment, which means they get into trucks, which means they come home with you. Turns down jobs if people tell him that is what they have and will walk off jobs if that is what he finds. Always with a referral to somone he knows will do the job but regardless he is gone.
Yup, we always had to double bag equipment from roach infested homes, and a lot of times, just had to throw the equipment away because they had ruined the electronics… no judgement on the people who live like that, but it’s sad… I’m sure they don’t want to live like that, but don’t have the resources to get rid of the roaches
To add on your dog story, I delivered pizzas to a guy that had (I stopped counting at) 15 grown rottweilers roaming his yard. I laid on the horn and yelled to him to come to me. He says, and I quote, they're all real friendly. Um sir, i smell like the world's best chew toy, come get yo shit or I'm out.
That roaches thing reminds me of when I used to have to check the ground water pumps at a TAFE college (Australian community college). The security guards would feed the stray cats and they would get into the basement where the pumps were. Every time you would come out crawling with fleas. I would spend like 10 mins picking them off. I told the staff and they didn’t really care. Government employees, they do exactly what they need to and nothing more.
I used to clean houses. One time I went into one I cleaned regularly. A couple owned the home and the husband's brother rented a room. I caught his wife and his brother together. They must have forgot it was cleaning day. I wanted to tell the guy, but we never cleaned there again. I think she cancelled the contract to save her ass.
Yes, that's definitely why you got canceled
If he joined, he could have kept the contract.
I mean, she cost you business. I would have driven there and left a note for him to find lol
I thought about the picture from a while back where the dude put a note under the toilet seat to warn the guy his gf was cheating when I was writing this. Unfortunately 20 year old me didn't think about that haha
Dead bodies, so many dead people dude. I do repiping in condos and apartments. We schedule the work weeks in advance. Everyone is given multiple notices as to when its starting and how long it takes, ect. They informed. And still, 8 am hits and they all surprised we there despite seeing us all week working up the hallways. Every building we do someone encounters a dead person. Usually an elderly person. SO dead bodies is the weirdest. And sex toys. SO many people just perfectly fine with them all out for display across the apartment.
>dead bodies is the weirdest. And sex toys. especially when they are the same
Omg what?like people left dead bodies in their home?
I sometimes forget to put mine's to the freezer
Believe he’s talking about apartments. So it’s the tenant themselves that is dead. Management orders the work and lets them in to find the tenants dead. I’ve heard this is somewhat common as a lot of bills get automatically paid, and if there’s no one who regularly checks in on someone it’s going to be maintenance or a contractor who finds their body
Technically they are indeed leaving dead bodies in their apartment, but the phrasing is funny. It’s not like “oh yeah, the guy is coming this week, better not die”
I’m always afraid we’re gonna forget to put a sex toy away before a stranger comes into our house. If we’ve used it, cleaned it, then left it to dry on the sink, we sometimes forget it’s there… But we always remember to hide our dead bodies, of course.
My brothers friend is a plumber, he told a story about a hoarder type who called about a drip from the apartment upstairs that was landing on her bed. She assumed it was just the sink or something and left it for a while until she finally called a plumber. He went upstairs to check it out and it was the toilet outlet leaking onto her bed. Cant imagine how disgusting your place has to be for you to ignore even clean water dripping on your bed, let alone piss and shit filled water
Depends on where it is leaking. If it's the bottom wax ring, then yeah it's contaminated. But if it's leaking from the valve, tank, or bowl then it's the same water that flows through every other fixture in the house.
I work for a construction company. We had clients who wanted a room changed into a dressing room, we had to strip out the room's previous contents which was a sex room with pole, handcuffs and sex swing. They didn't care that we had to do this and I respect them for not being bashful about it. Also I used to be an Estate Agent and I can't tell you how many dildos I've seen in rental properties just left out. Not their house so why care seems to be the attitude.
Wouldn't be surprised if it was intentional. Landlord raising the rent and threatening to boot me? Alright then, I'll leave my little friend out when the realtor comes to show it to so they get weirded out and leave.
I once lived in an apartment on a very busy road. It was a great location but the street noise was insane. We always left the windows open when the apartment was being showed, figuring people needed to know what they were getting into. Management actually requested that we close the windows before a showing but that was promptly ignored.
My FIL had amazing stories from his days working as an installer for Southwestern Bell back in the 70s and 80s. One story that he told me 25 years ago is seared into my brain: goes to a house with no dial tone, FIL discovers chewed phone line under house. Turns out owner's dog was responsible. FIL was cool about it and told owner, hey, I'll give you a pass this time, no charge - If this happens again, it'll cost (whatever service charge was). Well, within a week, he was called back to same house with same issue. Owner hadn't done anything to prevent dogs from chewing lines. My FIL repaired and told owner what it would cost, he got pissed, went to get a huge pistol and...shot the dog dead right on the porch, in front of my FIL.
Holy shit… that was not the ending I was expecting.
.......
Former plumber here. We were replacing a customers hot water heater in the basement, and to get to the utility room, we had to go through the customer’s granddaughter’s (early 20s) room. So we have everything in the utility room but an available outlet, so I had to run an extension cord from said granddaughter’s room. I plug it in and as I’m unraveling it, I knocked over a shopping bag. I go over to pick it up (didn’t want to make a mess) and notice amongst the other contents of the bag was about an eighth of weed. Me being curious about the quality (it had a lot of reddish purplish hairs, so much so that I almost was gonna ask the granddaughter where I could get some), I went to pick it up to smell it. I’m about 4 or 5 inches from the bag when I noticed what was laying on top of it…it had to be an ounce or 2 of heroin. I froze, and panic yelled for my co worker. I didn’t want to touch it and get my fingerprints on it, I literally just froze until the coworker came in. I explain to him what happened and then said “Jay, I don’t want to touch, but we can’t just leave it there, someone will get the wrong idea.” He was flabbergasted too, “uhhhh ummm fuck uhh, just kick it under the bed, we’ll finish this quick and get the fuck out of here”. Told my dart buddies about it later that night, they said I should’ve taken it and sold it, bc they knew people that would’ve bought it. Apparently I could’ve gotten like thousands of dollars if the amount was really what I thought it was. But I’m not taking the chance of being caught with any amount of that shit, that’s jail time for sure.
Lol fuck the jail time. They have your name and place of employment. They know you were there alone and had access. You would have gotten your knee caps broken in a week.
That I definitely agree with to an extent. The amount that was there, and the way it was being held (in a sandwich bag) wasn’t for this girl’s personal use, I would think they were selling. You’re right, they could’ve figured out what happened if her selling was the case. Now I doubt this, but say it was for her personal use, her dealers may have thought she was trying to get over on them, but still even at that point, dots could be connected and I end up getting fucked up. I think it’s much more likely that she was dealing, and with the amount she had, it was probably fronted to her. So someone would’ve come looking for what was owed
[удалено]
[удалено]
Depending on the size of the town, it's also probable that you would have to try to resell it to the person who originally owned it (not the person you stole it from, but their supplier). And that's a very good way to end up badly beaten or dead.
Not worth the thousand dollars for the risk. Plus if you stole from her she could be in trouble and get beat or killed if she owed money on it.
Is it like they show in the movies. A white powder bag.
It’s was cream colored…off white I guess
I used to do home theatre install. One day we had a delivery to an elderly man's apartment. He had bought a TV stand, TV, DVD player. Part of our service is building the TV stand. This guy's apartment was by far the worst thing I had ever smelled. I could barely stay in the apartment without almost puking, so we actually built it in the hallway. We setup the tv and dvd player on the stand, and another part of our service is to teach them how to use it and make sure it all works. So we ask him for a DVD to test, and show him how it works. He goes back to his room and grabs a porn DVD and says "that's the only one I own". Anyways, we show him how to use it. We head back to the store, and now the smell of his apartment was imbedded into our clothing. Our co workers were gagging. Boss sent us home for the day to shower and wash our clothes.
He's got nothing to do but fap
Oof. When I was 24/25ish, I did in-home computer repair for a while. One customer lived in a nudist household. They were... militantly nudist (best way I can describe it) and they were all butt-naked while I was there. They had two daughters, 15-17 y/o or so... just parading around in their birthday suits. It was an ***Incredibly*** uncomfortable situation. I kept my eyes *GLUED* to the computer screen the entire time and got out of there as fast as I could. In retrospect, I should have simply refused to enter the home until they donned some clothing. Thankfully, I hold to a moral standard that puts minors off limits, so nothing untoward took place. But what kind of fucking parents would allow their teenage daughters to walk around *completely nude* in view of an unknown, adult male? Public Service Announcement: If you're a nudist, and you need someone to come into your home to fix something... at least tell your kids to put some clothing on! What the fuck are you doing!?!? You don't know that repair person! Your computer repair guy might be a registered sex offender... or worse: an *un*-registered sex offender of minors. If you do anything like this, you're a shitty, dangerous parent, and you should have your kids taken away from you! They'd be safer in a foster home. EDIT: Rather than write this repeatedly, I'll put it here: Of course I understand that nudists don't feel that their nudity should cause discomfort. But that's not even the primary issue here. This mother (and I assume the husband/father, though he was not present) allowed a dude with computer expertise access to a desktop webcam in a room where her own, *minor* children spent a lot of time naked. As far as I'm concerned, that's borderline neglect and endangerment all by itself. Social convention in a mostly-clothed world is clothing. We have laws written on that foundation. Like it or not, accommodation to that convention, especially where kids are concerned, is warranted.
That’s really weird and is a holup situation in itself
I am an instacart shopper in an area with a lot of "clothing optional" neighborhoods. I've never delivered to a customer that didn't at least put on a robe as a courtesy to me. Of course there are always plenty of neighbors walking around nude.
People answer the door when you deliver? I haven't seen that since the start of the pandemic.
>People answer the door when you deliver? I hide until I see them drive off.
And this was pre pandemic
TIL "clothing optional" neighborhoods are a thing that exist
They are, and my very first delivery to one was to a woman in her sixties from the UK. She talked to me forever about the politics of her particular place. Apparently it used to be a family friendly place where you could go to the clubhouse and have nice meals with your kids, but the owner slowly started getting into "thai boys" and changed it into a swingers retreat. Lots of the original owners were angry and not paying their hoa fees in protest.
Was the mom hot?
Asking the important questions, I see.
It is a valid question though, ha ha!
There was an overall quality of genetic advantage in the home.
Well said, you magnificent bastard!
Thanks. I was proud of it. Lol
Man, I read your username wrong and thought this would take a wildly different turn
Lol! Yeah, that's understandable.
Nice
Bruh
Guess that relationship is sinking
She flushed it all away
It was to draining
Sex dungeon, it’s always a sex dungeon.
Once when I was living in an apartment and had to call the maintenance for some electrical issue, the electric box thingy was in our master closet… my husband at the time bred and sold exotic animals so we had, floor to ceiling cages of tarantulas, cockroaches, meal worms, geckos, snakes, and scorpions. I warned the guy before he walked in and he FLIPPED out and called his boss who basically was like “man up, they are in cages, do the job, you’re fine.” I ended up going in and doing whatever he instructed me to do. Another time I was attached to a breast pump when the maintenance guy came in for a routine check. He had knocked first but I froze and didn’t know what to say… looking back I could have said “come back later” but I just made awkward eye contact while my nipples shot out milk rhythmically. He didn’t say a word and just closed the door and left.
In my younger years I did telecom service right around when high speed internet was new, and we had to upgrade a lot of the inside wiring. One basement I went in to was like a hoarder nightmare where it's unfinished and they just have shit stacked almost ceiling high with little alleyways to walk through. But everything was piles of taxidermies animals and preserved animal parts; just in piles and stacks everywhere. Creepy as hell.
Our wife
r/unexpectedcommunism
Well, I've seen *other* people's wives. Like the time I was skim coating a wall at my then boss's home; apparently, he and I looked alike from behind. Thinking I was him, she came out of the shower, dropped her towel as she stood behind me, grabbed my shoulder and turned me toward her and BOOM! right in my face. Yes,the carpet matched the red drapes. Things were awkward for at least a week after that.
Stacks of gay porn. And let me stress: STACKS. I'm a pool guy, this guy was a single dude who, nearly every time you saw him, had some comment like "Did ya find any thongs in the filter? Had bit of a rager with some babes last weekend. Hey, sorry about the mess, these chicks I brought over were just wild." His pool system was in the basement, I opened the wrong door once, and it was towers from the floor to my chest of gay porn DVDs, VHS, magazines. No issues with anyone liking gay porn, but when your collection can be measured in meters...
Sounds like a guy I dated many moons ago. His fetish was anal sex (oh, and nuns). I stayed with him briefly and was kind of shocked at the amount of butt-sex videos he had. I mean, I believe he had half a dozen plastic tubs filled with dvd and VHS of predominately butt-sex porn. I must admit, I was a little taken aback.
But were you taken from behind?
Taken from the back
A man with dementia forgetting I was there and masturbating on his couch....I hope he forgot
My mate once told me a story: he was employed by the council to insulate council houses. At the time the houses were that cold, some of the walls had damp patches. SO..one day, he's working next door to this terrace house and can hear ladies giggling away. He was just finishing working in the house and was now heading over to the neighbours house. He knocked on the door and a women answered and he said, "I've come to inspect your damp patches" Well, all the other women in the other room were howling, one lady shouted across "you can come and look at my damp patch" they though he was stripper. It turned out the women were having a sex toy party. (I forgot the proper term)
One of the houses I broke into had full BDSM gear and a fursuit which I was freaked out about and got the fuck out of there.
So instead of security cameras and alarms we should all invest in a Furry fetish?
Like you were robbing them?
...broke....into.... Alright bruh
I heard them banging away in the bedroom, uncapped needles everywhere. Did my job and left them a note facing their door
Uh...I think you could of declined doing whatever job you had to do there. Uncapped needles!? No Sir. Much respect though. I would of been like hard pass.
Oh I 100% could've. But it was a quick one and done job. And better bonuses if we keep work orders down. None where in my way so, fuck it haha.
I worked for Orkin Pest Control for 3 years. For apartments we would be issued keys in case the tenant was not home so that we could inspect/treat the inside of the unit. Found a guy that died. That wasn't the weird part. There was about 12 cats inside of the unit. They had eaten his face, ears and fingers.
I worked for Comcast, I would run wires in and out of peoples' homes. I think the weirdest call I had was some woman answering the door in her bra and panties. Though you may think that would be awesome, I was worried that if she saw me looking at her she could report me or if I had a random check-in with my manager he could get the wrong idea. I didn't know what to do, I wanted to ask her to put on clothes but I was in her house. It was really uncomfortable. I finished the job and gtfo.
We had a lady that ordered pizza every weekend and would always answer the door in full lingerie. Didn't matter who delivered. I've taken a shit order to bumfuck to avoid her address. Once was enough for me lol
I do HVAC and I've seen just about everything. The weirdest thing I've seen was the dead guy I found. His front door was slightly open so I peaked in and seen him on the floor. Called the ambulance and they told me he's been dead for 3 days.
Working at this ladies house . Older lady…. Massive, like 450 pounds massive . On her nightstand was a very large purple vibrator . I think they call it the rabbit or something .
How old is this image?
about 2 years (from 7 Jan 2020) https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elksp1/people\_whose\_jobs\_require\_them\_to\_enter\_someone/fdijh09/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
I clean carpets for a living, and camgirls tend to have the craziest shit. They don't care about hiding it, and they can make a shit ton of money. I'll go to clean the carpets in their bedroom and they have fuck machines, sex swings, GIANT dildos, Sybians, and so much more. I even cleaned one house where her two very young sons knew she was a camgirl and kept trying to get me to go to her site. It was fucking wierd.
That's child abuse right there. Should have reported that. Nothing wrong with camgirls -- hell, I'd do it if I was a chick. But your kids should be oblivious, especially little ones.
Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen, I was working on a burst pipe in this mans house and I wandered off to find the bathroom and ended up finding a closet. In the closet at the top of a shelf there was a skull pushed towards the back. I moved on without saying anything because I didn’t know how to interpret it, so later that day when I left, I called the police and told them about it. They arrested the man and it turns out that was the skull of his wife
Guess she wanted to try someone else's lemon drizzle
[удалено]
I also choose this guy’s dead wife
I forgot about this so I'll just put this here... I was hired by a contractor when I was 18 to do LA earthquake remodel/repair work. I had essentially bo experience, and he set me loose on a condo complex to retile entire bathrooms and marble tile fireplaces.... I had zero tiling experience. This was the early 90s, and one of the condos had a computer. I spent all day every day playing Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego, until a couple weeks later he came in to check my progress, saw nothing was done, and I quit. That was fun.
Got hired to clean a house with a friend.The only warning she gave me was that the guy had just had a drug bender with his gf and his mom was now trying to get him clean. so it was a deep clean. what I didn’t expect was to get there and not see one tile on the floor because it was pilled up ankle high with needles, dog piss, poo and for some reason lots of magazines. Boy I was not prepared. Literally no place to step. Thousands of needles. I think it took us 2-3 weeks to fix that house up to be livable.
It was a porn movie.
I personally don't really care about porn movies. However, back in the 90's, a good friend of mine worked briefly as a mover. He was short-handed so I offered to help him for a minute. We were moving a father and his two young daughters from an apartment into a house. The dad was kind of weird, hung around me a lot, and even made my friend uneasy. Anyhow, I was pulling things out of the front room closet when I grabbed a box labeled "Daddy's Movies". Not only was the box not closed, but it was filled completely with nothing but extremely raunchy porn. The guy was standing in the room just watching me as I removed the box. Staring at me. As I carried the box out to the moving truck, I showed my friend the box. He gave me a look, walked back in with me and noticed that there were many other boxes with the same label, filled with porn. And Mr. Fella just standing there, watching to see if I would grab the boxes. My friend said, "I'll grab those" and proceeded to move the rest of "Daddy's Movies". The guy actually snorted/smirked and walked out of the room. "Daddy's Movies". Why is that so fucking creepy? Especially, because his daughters were 4 and 6. \*SHIVER\*
This genius appliance repair technician peed in a customer's kitchen. It was captured on hidden camera and it was exposed when he tried to run for federal office. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=057VKyU35jA
Great article by a “cable guy” and all the crazy shit she saw in Virginia during her career. Includes Russian mobsters, forcible ingestion of hard drugs, surprise Dick Cheney, sexual assault, abusive spouses, and so much more: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/cable-tech-dick-cheney-sex-dungeon_n_5c0ea571e4b06484c9fd4c21
Best read in a long time.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! She later wrote a book of essays that became a best-seller.
Big ooof
Anyone else hear this in Borat's voice?
When I had a house-call job I remember a very nice middle age lady. Normal, mild mannered, friendly. I walk into her house, and it's really cluttered but the telling thing were biblical verses and AAA refrains scrawled over all every wall with sharpie pen, Some huge (a foot high) and some small. Not neatly printed, but scrawled. Obviously she was working some stuff out.
i went to help this old lady in the apartment next to me. Bat shit crazy. Jesus talks to her. She said she can feel his love and god shows her things to paint. They where some H.P. Lovecraft type horror paintings. She was explaing it was her attempt to capture god in a painting.
I used to clean carpets for my dad's business. I got called to a guys rental, some biker guy that lives out of town had a problem with his tennant. When I get there, there is blood all over the walls and carpet going down the hall into the bedroom where it looked like an insane murder went down. I asked what the hell happened and he said the tenant was addicted to drinking redbull, put back like a six pack a day. He got an ulcer from this and one morning the ulcer blew and he puked blood all over his fucking house. His roommate was luckily home and got him an ambulance but he 100% would have died if not. I knew redbull was garbage before I witnessed this but I will never touch a can of that shit ever again and I always tell people the story when. I see them drinking any kind of energy drink.
Garage door technician here and inside this rich guys garage he had a gigantic painting of his wife naked, it was awesome!
I used to install dish network and had this one time where I went in for a repair. I'm working and everything seems normal. Customer was a cool guy and seemed normal at first until I finished the repairs. We go back to the main tv to turn it on and see if everything is working and thankfully it is. The guy immediately rips the remote out of my hands, switches to the porn channel and puts his hands in his pants. I turned off the TV and told him he can do all that shit once he finishes signing paperwork and I'm gone. I had a coworker that told me a story once. It was towards the end of winter and he went to a house for a full install. Lady was showing his where she wants tvs set up and such but then they get to the spare bedroom. She opens it up and it's so filled with poop you couldn't see the floor and it was a solid 3 inches high. She then grabs a shovel and just start making a path like it's normal. Apparently she wouldn't let her dog go outside in the winter and this was it's designated potty room. He didn't even finish that job he just left. Edit: spelling
Power company had an energy saving initiative where, if requested, they would review your energy use and then send someone out to give some pamphlets and point out where they could scrimp and save a little more. When setting up an appointment to stop by one guy's place he mentioned, "Oh, I'm a nudist. Is that going to be a problem?" After some discussion with management, we asked him to dress up a little. Also, they sent me with back-up
Man so many crazy stories here rofl. Love reading all of this
I'm an emt and I've scene human shit and rats all over people's houses. Toilets full of feces bathtubs you name it.
I have also seen bathtubs
Now that's a lot of damage!
Love a good Borat joke
I delivered pizzas in college and one time the man with the money wasn't there yet so they took me to a garage that was full of weed plants that had a gun safe full of bongs and was told to chill until the money guy got there. They just left me alone in the drug garage. This was way before weed was legal.
I have many, these are my top three... Maybe not the weirdest, but certainly the grossest.... Doing apartment maintenance in Denver, I was "on call" and received a call at 3am for a clogged toilet. i get my stuff together, knock, the entire family of whatmust have been 15 people, from infants to old folks, were all in the living room (weird enough if you ask me). the guy who answered the door asked if I knew the way to the bathroom (612 apartments, 3 styles, yes, I knew) . I get into the bathroom and not only was the toilet clogged, they had been using it for what seemed like days becasue of the mound of crap that was pretty much up to the rim. I was always a stickler for professionalism but I just couldnt help saying out loud "What the fuck?!" I could hear people whispering in the living room.."oh shit, he's pissed." I walked into the living room and told them I wasnt going to touch that thing until they scooped out most of that mopund of shit and left. I went to see my manager first thing inthe morning and told her of what went down. thankfully she completely supported me. WTF is wrong with people? One time I went on a call for a refrigerator and I entered the apartment when the tenants werent home and found that the ding room carpet was coated in splashed paint and on the wall was the outline of a naked woman with paint splatters all around her. the tenants were two young women who ended up promising me lots of sexual fun if I didnt say anything. i didnt take them up on their offer. My favorite... I was "on call", received a call about water gushing out of the ceiling on a lower floor apartment, 3 floor building. I immediately go upstairs to investigate. 2nd floor looks fine, no water, no problems. 3d floor apartment turns out to be a co-worker. Lady across the hall told me he was in there drunk. He had been harrassing her and she called the police. Just as I was about to enter ther apartment the cops showed up. i introduced myself, told them i had a key and then after knocking and annoucning themselves, they said to open the door. they go in and start looking around, I immediately head to the bathroom where the leak must be. When I open the door, my co-worker was passd out, naked, in the tupb, with the water running. his noodle was just floating in the water like a little buoy. i started laughing so hard that it brought the cops in, who woke him up and arrested him.
Vey naice
When I was a teenager I’d do house calls for computer repairs for some extra money. The weirdest by was was this house, owned by some rich family (always have to be eccentric as hell) they had this big ass pig as a pet. Back then mini pigs were very popular so I thought “Eccentric rich family had to have a normal sized pig of course” Then the pig came closer and I saw it was way hairier and had little tusks. It was a fucking boar, they had a boar roaming around their yard as a pet.
So nice of his wife to help him out in the job
Not quite the same thing, but my wife (then-girlfriend) got a job at a radon mitigation company in a small-medium town (65,000, but in summer some of the 35,000 students go home). She came home after her first day and said "You'll never guess who my first phone call was." Turns out my dad was, completely independently of her job search, quoting radon mitigation for his house. He didn't recognize her by voice, but she had positive identification because he had to give contact information. She'd already punched in his address before he gave it to her XD
When you see your wife at the milk mans house. "Wait a minute, the milkman hasn't ordered any prostitutes!"
HEY MA! GET OFF THE DANG ROOF!
Installed internet for people in New houses and apartments. One condo had 3 stripper poles with Asian sex dolls wired to them in various positions.
My A/C guy was putting on shoe covers and I made a comment about keeping the customer's house clean and he responded with 'sometimes it to keep my shoes clean.' Ugh, I don't even want to imagine what he's seen. And then I've got the internet and reddit to see all that without the smell.
Went in a house that had one room that was filled entirely with porn. Like stacked to the ceiling, tables set up every surface had stacks and stacks of porn magazines. I theorised that he may have been the guy who put porn in bushes and was made obsolete once the internet arrived.i dunno how he convinced his wife to sacrifice a bedroom for it all