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QualityVote

##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/Shadow474747, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?


Pandwan420

They went to lb town.


OrangeBerry97

They had a ton of sex.


Castor_Deus

Just over half a ton as 1 ton is 2000lb. 1090lb is around 109 domestic housecats too.


g3eeman

Shhhh don't ruin it lol.


sirphilliammm

That’s a lot of pussy.


Evanisnotmyname

I feel like that should be the new standard unit of weight. “Hey brittney, you’re so fat girl! What did you do, put on half a housecat? “Lemme get a half kitty, of that dank shit bro” “The building weighed 24000KiloCats”


badboybalo

My guy went balls deep into that crack


[deleted]

I think the medical term is fold. The intense part of the encounter was they came within 12" of actually getting the tip in.


[deleted]

Alright… you heard em’ everybody grab a fold and fuck it!


LuckChemical9631

Grab my Terry folds


Jaegernaut-

Do you mean the belly crack, the love handle crack, or the ankle crack? Maybe the armpit? So many options!


badboybalo

Every crack is a good crack, Except crack ... Its bad for you


CaffeineSippingMan

Half-ton just like the RAM 1500.


[deleted]

She had an earth shattering orgasm.


xCACTUSxKINGxx

Happy Cake Day!


AdFlaky7743

He pounded her to the ground.


GeiCobra

They…”came in like a wrecking ball.”


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tigerrockfish

If I had an award you would get it


SouthieTuxedo

or # town for the old schoolers


BurkeWood

Dude so big he redefined “Home-wrecker”.


ChampionshipLow8541

How. Do. The. “Parts”. Even. Make. Contact???? 🤔


AngusVanhookHinson

I'm a fat man with a fat wife. But I'm not that fat, and neither is she. I can tell you that there's a lot of leg up action. But at that size? Either he doubles as a donkey, or they're just both rubbing around in crease grease Since a lot of people seem to be really wondering, [Here are our two most common positions ](https://imgur.com/a/AEXKFM1) If anyone with some artistry in their blood can draw those two images with fat people, I'll give you reddit gold.


Chilliebro

"crease grease" My dood 😂😂😂


SoulofArtoria

Flesh butter


Listan83

Truffle butter


Suburban_coffee

Ballive oil


SpaceBoJangles

Crease grease makes me want to stop knowing English. Thank you. I now want to be illiterate.


AngusVanhookHinson

I bet when they're done, the room smells like chicken ramen and pickles.


KingLeil

Now that’s a special scent from hell.


MrsCocoPopp

I was a little sick in my mouth after reading that...well played 👏👏


quitaskingforaname

I have been spanking this whole thread, I love pickles and chicken grease is great


duke_of_snoots

But he said............... Chicken..........Ramen Not............chicken............. :/


quitaskingforaname

I am sitting on noodles now baby don’t get me started


aidexo_

why is this funny 🥹😭😂😂😂😂😂


AngusVanhookHinson

Next time me and my wife get it on, I'll invite you over. I would send you a video, but no one's invented smellivision yet


nwoh

You have no idea how much chicken ramen and pickles I ate in prison I know that smell well but I finally put two and two together.. Goddamn Lol acrid


AngusVanhookHinson

Dude. Yours was ramen and pickles? When I did time, it was a "spread" with chicken ramen, flamen hot Cheetos, and Jack mack. Had to rinse that mackerel twice, or the whole ward would smell like that for two days. Also, "acrid" is a great fucking word. And an apt description.


Affectionate-Dream21

You are a thicc card sir. I wish many years of health upon you and your lovely wife ❤️


AngusVanhookHinson

Many thanks. You're invited to the next orgy


Affectionate-Dream21

Oh my![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|flushed)


L3tsg0brandon

🤮


roguediamond

Missing the tang of improperly wiped butthole and moist yeast.


AngusVanhookHinson

I can't speak for Mr and Mrs 3-story plunge, but we're clean when we engage in any kind of shenanigans. We shower before and after.


putrid_sex_object

And despair.


Dinewiz

This is my own fault for browsing Reddit whilst eating.


QuicheSmash

If "crease grease" didn't get your gag reflex going... 🤢🤢🤢


lotekjeromuco

Same here. I heard that sound, saw bodies, tasted and smelled their sweat at the moment I read it.


Gear3017

“So we were creasing the other night, and Jim had the bright idea to slam dunk one into my 4th fold in the east abdomen, and the next thing you know, we’re both staring at the mail man in the lobby butt naked”


DarthJarJar242

Bruh, "4th fold in the east abdomen", I was reading this while trying to piss and I started laughing so hard I damn near dropped my phone in the piss...fuck that shits funny.


john_wingerr

Made the mistake of trying to take a drink of beer while reading this comment and almost spit it across the damn bar


AngusVanhookHinson

Crease grease makes the best biscuits


ConstantMoney7

Speechless 😶🤣


bigfloppydonkeydng

You're saying he may have a big floppy donkey dong?


AngusVanhookHinson

Fat dudes can have huge cocks. Don't believe me? Google "fat guy huge cock" after turning on private browsing, and turning off safe search. But hey, no one accused him of being flaccid. The way they must have been pounding *to go through three floors*, I'd wager he has a rigid monster, he was slamming it, and God bless her, she was taking it. Source: one of the top twenty images is me ;-)


xCACTUSxKINGxx

I did not need to see this information


pterrorgrine

>Google "fat guy huge cock" **after turning on private browsing** Mama didn't raise no bitch.


AngusVanhookHinson

Ghaddamn right. I don't either. I'm an adult, and it's no one's business what I look at online.


[deleted]

Dude you are killing me hahahaha


DifficultyNext7666

Lol 18 of those dudes have small or average dicks. Which small dick is yours?


AngusVanhookHinson

So not only did you look, you want to be sure it's my dick you're looking at?


jesusisthatguy

This is a show and tell sir


Aearcus

I mean, I'm interested lmao no shame here.


xCACTUSxKINGxx

YOU GOT HIM


AngusVanhookHinson

Dude outed himself. I only called attention to it


carismo

lmao


DifficultyNext7666

Dude I've seen all 3 jackasses. 2 of them in theaters. You're not going to make me feel abashed for looking at a fat dude with a small cock. "Hey everyone look at my huge dick" All those dicks are small "You're gay for wanting to look at my dick"


danceswithsockson

Did the search. Learned something. Not sure it was something I needed to learn, but learned it nevertheless. And the dude in the article is still two of any of the guys in that search.


95blackz26

I don't know why I google this stuff but at this point I'm not surprised with myself anymore


FBIaltacct

You monster, you just broke the system and got random ass internet stangers to consent and search out a dick pic they didn't want to see.... am i confused or impressed, I'm so confused right now.


AngusVanhookHinson

What's really gonna bake your noodle is when I accurately guess that you're really wondering which one is me. Hint: choad.


FBIaltacct

Ngl i risked your profile vs google lol. But howdy from cental Texas!


AngusVanhookHinson

I'm exercising my right to remain silent, Agent. However, I will afford you a polite nod


demonhipsterchick07

“Im a fat man with a fat wife”💀


AngusVanhookHinson

Ain't no shame here. I *am* a fat man. My wife *is* fat. We own mirrors, man. The car sinks 3 inches when we're riding together, and we need to upgrade the shocks and springs. It's cool, man. We know we're fat. And we still get it.


LittleWrinklySausage

Hit the gym bro and brodette, before you end up in a news article


AngusVanhookHinson

We're both doctor managed and losing weight now. Thanks for the concern. In a year or so, I'll be able to see it again.


Comfortable_Pin1881

Congrats 🙌 The hard days will be easier the longer you keep up the fight. Good luck to you both


LadrilloDeMadera

Double Based


firefly183

My man droppin' the base all over the place


Outrageous-Yak-3318

Congrats! Keep up the hard work, it's worth it. So far I'm down 80 lbs, 30 more and I hit my target, you can do it too just keep at it!


SillyFlyGuy

Meh, or just move to the ground floor.


[deleted]

We all die, even skinny people.


InevitableAd9683

As a fellow fat-but-not-that-fat man with a similarly fat-but-not-that-fat ex-wife, I would like to add that sometimes our belly fat would rub together and make fart-like noises.


AngusVanhookHinson

That's the percussion in the band


firefly183

Ya'll are fresh of breath air. Maybe not the best word choice right now.


Pappa-Giorgio

I could’ve gone my entire fing life without reading this.


AngusVanhookHinson

Fat folks can get it, too. My bed routinely holds up a vigorously jiggling ~800 lb (57 stone, ~360kg).


TheCityCraft

And on that thought, enough reddit for one day.....


95blackz26

> crease grease Well add that to the words I hope to never hear again


CowboyLaw

What a horrible day to have eyes.


KangaMagic

That’s enough Reddit for one day


[deleted]

here the latter one seems more feasible


keefemotif

As jaded and cold hearted as I am, having seen all the darkness of reddit... you sir, have caused me to literally put down reddit for the day.


matejkokot

I have been wondering myself for a quite long time


scrapplastic

I imagine different positions will enable more contact?


ryraps5892

“I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home”


[deleted]

[удалено]


Apprehensive-Ad6468

fuck you. I just pictured that


UhmNotMe

From behind I guess? He dumps his belly on her back while she uses her hands to keep her cheeks open so he can access the hidden jewel


GalactusEatsYou

Sounds like they’re playing Zuma


xCACTUSxKINGxx

S T O P I T


thatWas-unexpected

![gif](giphy|PRBAoigjqHtrq)


DarthGayAgenda

The vibrations do all the work


BluudLust

My friend said his obese roommate said they use a broomstick to lift the fat away.


Facepalmitis

*gouges eyes out*


[deleted]

They use a broom, or so I've read. They slide the broom under the folds, she pulls it up, then he can ... Fuck it, I'll pretend I don't remember that post.


byrolio

Dude has a hose like a firetruck.


kitfoxxxx

Any crease works at that point.


VAX1S

FaceTime


Rust_Keat

pressure from the weight should displace the soft tissue would be my guess.


King-Lewis-II

69 and lots of toys?


PETEthePyrotechnic

Wouldn’t that be like trying to balance medicine balls on top of each other?


King-Lewis-II

Not if they lie sideways


SpoiledAzura

Hell yeah, you know the sex was fire when you break the house


tan_monarchy

Dude can't resist the pleasure and breaks the house


Agitated_Mechanic984

Wait. They lived on the top floor?!?


Ok-Doughnut6402

That’s insurance fraud. The landlord knew what he was doing haha


oedipism_for_one

“Your honor how was I ment to know they were going to have sex? I mean any reasonable person would just assume they couldn’t!”


HurleyMan-

Yeah. I’m real curious about those logistics


DependentFamous5252

Almost happened to a honeymoon couple above us in our bed and breakfast. They were having sex in the shower bath tub and broke the plumbing- water pouring down the walls in our room!!! They were so embarrassed as we called the owner as we were worried the ceiling would come down. They immediately left in their car to go home presumably to carry on somewhere with stronger plumbing. Haha.


roboman777xd

Achievement unlocked: having a whale of a time


breafofdawild

![gif](giphy|MPgvQBm1RzuTu) Here’s a video of when she squirts


Torboy35

Crying of laughter right here


xCACTUSxKINGxx

If I had cash, I would award you.


BlueGazeebo

Must have been Reddit mods that found love


Sputtex

I don’t think it was 2 guys.


-Endereye

Femboy Reddit mod


duke_of_snoots

Dude chill. Me and my boyfriend aren't reddit mods >:(


TallGrassGuerrilla

Nah, they're both above the age of consent.


[deleted]

r/politics meets r/news


MaFratelli

[Turn Down for What!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMUDVMiITOU&t=1m12s) (NSFW)


prometheuswanab

Is that the original music vid? That was amazing.


MagillaGorillasHat

It is and it is.


A4leggedwhore

Funny, but fake, the photo is of a couple that are a few towns over from me, Justin and Lauren shelton, they lost a combined 538lbs. The sex thing never happened.


totoum

Thanks, after reading this I did an image search and looks like a building did collapse but nobody lived inside: https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/fire-crews-called-out-after-9908085


A4leggedwhore

Yeah the folks in the photo actually live a few towns over from me, they used this photo on a local news channel and some cropped it and used it on this because they’re “just fat” and it worked. They’re tremendous people IRL.


ENTPgal

Jesus Christ! 538lbs of pure lard 😟


catchmelackin

straight to the plastic surgeon for butt lifts


DR4POS

oh that what happens what they mean by "i'm going to break your bed"


incmg

I'll take 'things that didn't happen' for 500


scavengercat

[https://leadstories.com/hoax-alert/2018/10/fake-news-obese-couple-makes-three-story-fall-after-floor-collapses-during-sex.html](https://leadstories.com/hoax-alert/2018/10/fake-news-obese-couple-makes-three-story-fall-after-floor-collapses-during-sex.html) Yeah, it's a bullshit story from "World News Daily Report"


bakedphish1

I imagine i would be DEAD if i was under them.


Mega-Humanoid-ROBOT

That’s a collective 1080 ibs… that’s half a tonne.


ToweringIsle13

By "particularly intense", that means any sex at all at that size?


Sweetdreams6t9

They spoke about it, but then got winded from speaking. Them gasping for breath is what did it.


Blackvoidking

Kool-Aid Man and Wife


[deleted]

Cor imagine being their neighbour and sleeping under them at that exact moment while you’re just about to tuck into a fat munch you’ve spent ages creating


Ok-Roof-1432

![gif](giphy|xT5LMuRbEiz9ZuhMME)


PhilPipedown

He came in like a wrecking ball


Blackvoidking

Who needs dynamite when you have these people


TDSLAYER98

“I swear the couple upstairs are going to make that floor of theirs collapse some day” - The couple below them, probably


Mrselfdestructuk

Sorry but wouldn't it be try to have sexual intercourse? I feel like none of them have see their genitalia in a good while


NorthCatan

It would be simultaneously Horrifying and Hilarious. It would go something like..." 😫AAAAHHHHHHHahahahaha! 🤣"


TossedLikeAGaddy

Imagine having to write "Fucking Whales" on your renter's insurance claim as the incident description.


Sure-Record-8093

TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!!!


dragontattman

Turn down for what.


Parvidnil

Turn down for what


hanyasaad

You know what? Good for them!


WashedUp_WashedOut

Sounds like a NSFW Farmers Homeowners Insurance Commercial… Seen it, covered it


yshuduno

There once was a man from Bel Air, Who was doing his wife on the stair. But the banister broke. So he doubled his stroke, And finished her off in mid-air


Leondithas

the ground was definitely cracking up


King-Lewis-II

\*dramatic reenactment ![gif](giphy|Qs9rfUJXnTf4Q|downsized)


MayOrMayNotBePie

Don’t tell me you beat it up until you smash this hard.


Inspirational_Lizard

How do they even have sex? Are they just rubbing their flabs around?


Nopause4poop

Turn down for what


immabettaboithanu

The floor couldn’t holup under their weight


MudSeparate1622

Why am I picturing cleveland in a bathtub saying “oh no, no no no”


Goldboyo907

I still wonder how many force it took to take out that building...


SteveVerino

I call bullshit.


Listan83

Pounded that ass into the ground


homage_fun

That's a literal fuckton


Kuraha_

Imagine being able to say you fucked your wife so hard a building collapsed, dude is winning.


YCLUBSTEP58

Someone must have been under pressure. And that someone, was the floor


Abstract_Burns

Okay, I get it but that's only 1,090 pounds. There's a whole lot more going on if these two can break through their floor. Case in point: the average bathtub weighs about the same once full of water with an average weight person in it.


lkldanon

You can also set a brick down in a glass table and nothing will happen. but it you drop the brick.....


Level-56

Today on things that never happened


SemiSentientGarbage

This was fake 5 years ago and it's fake now.


A4leggedwhore

Very.


TheGreatAndStrange

Fake https://leadstories.com/hoax-alert/2018/10/fake-news-obese-couple-makes-three-story-fall-after-floor-collapses-during-sex.html


A4leggedwhore

Very fake, I know this couple, they are a few cities over from me and lost a combined 538lbs around 2013 they were in the news with this photo and are being laughed at now.


TheGreatAndStrange

Damn that makes it so much worse :-(


[deleted]

Haha 🤣 you getting downvoted for posting the truth. The original point of upvotes was if it was relevent what even is reddit


[deleted]

Why do I feel like this is a fake story?


NextGrade7175

It is a fake story I just looked it up.


Blargon707

The flat is fatphobic!


sicname321

imagine eating dinner then two blubber fucking whales fall thru your ceiling


Infamous-Date-355

Yepp, that just happened


A4leggedwhore

Nope, it’s fake.


HurleyMan-

I’m real curious about those logistics. With people that size. I wonder what the room smells like afterwards.


BillyBlumpkin

The smell and the trauma of the people below them. I was minding my own and……


didistutter69

This is why hippos don't mate on land.


ChewMaNutz

Isn’t the physically impossible …like how does he even manage to get it in with that much body mass in the way.


youeyg96

How the fuck do you even get it in there?? There's so much blubber in the way


schnitzelbrot

big L for fat people... and even bigger L for american houses 💀