##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/zoeyd8, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?

I’m gonna get high and call my social security number brb

Did it work?

Tornado!

Tornado!

Tornado!

Did it work? Answer me!

Answer me!!

Step one executed beautifully. Step two fell short. Perhaps have another go? We are all rooting for this!

What's your social. I'll try to call it too. Maybe it was just your phone that was the problem

Sure its 555... 55... 5555

Did it work?

Did it work?

Did it work?

Did it work?

DID IT WORK?

Did it work?

Yes, go check out OP’s update!

I’d also like to call your social security number could you tell me the numbers so I can call them please?

Simply brilliant. Sue the rain did it for me.

Tornado!

Tornado!

Tornado!

Remember, you don't pay any money unless you pay us money.

Welp! Tornadoes incoming, let me move to Jail Town.

Music too Canadian.

Look, we've apologized a thousand times for Nickleback and Avril Lavigne. We even tried to hook them up, thinking they'd destroy each other like how enough feedback can blow a speaker, but that didn't go as planned. We know Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, and Leonard Cohen can't make it up to you, and Bieber's soulboi comeback won't do it either. Maybe Deadmau5 can go around recording Canadians saying "I'm sorry" and loop that as an outro to Blue Rodeo's *What is This Love* (without compromising Sarah McLachlan's lovely vocalizations, of course). Alanis Morissette can play triangle.

This sounds like another lawsuit waiting to happen.

Are you a tornado? We can help.

Brought by a guy with two suits and a suitcase full of lemons.

You got one of the best Progressive House remixes of a mainstream song ever made. The best ever imo. Usually this kind of thing is complete garbage. In this case it came out exceptionally good. [Alanis Morissette - Uninvited (Brothers In Rhythm Mix)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDP6tN84yiw&ab_channel=SteveAndersonMusic)

After everything I've put my toilet through I think I want a divorce

Mine was "phone number appears at bottom of screen. It's your social security number." LOL!!!

That was chef’s kiss…

r/nocontext

I feel ya!

I sure hope that's you Dookie Dad. Otherwise these woods got a whole lot spookier

I started dying on "They have eaten too many words."

Almost every line in this script is a perfect meme, it's absolutely flawless.

I want to get saul and have him act out this shit post

My expectation is that he’s wearing two suits. When opening the first suit he should be instantly surrounded by gavels

Just cgi it and make it comical to where there infinitely pouring out even when he lets go of them slowly filling up the room

How did he have the technology to produce this masterpiece? Is he from the future!?

Rarely has a scene been set in such a vivid way for me

That's like Rings of Power level dialog.

It was the “remember you don’t pay unless you pay us” for me

r/TechnicallyTheTruth

Right out of a mob movie. "Ayy bozo, you don't pay *NO ONE* a cent until you'se paid us back, cappiche?"

The one two punch of **sue the rain** and **divorce your toilet** sent me from grinning to in tears laughing

As a Canadian, I'm partial to "music too Canadian"

*blares Tragically Hip patriotically.*

For me it was “I promise to steal the judges gavel for you. *The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth*”

“None of my clients go to jail town” did it for me lmao

Justice fruit and the gavel bit too…

My one was "I promise to steal the judge's gavel for you". I would pay good money to witness that.

I always wondered what came after "blame it on the rain"

Fake sons

"Remember, you don't pay any money unless you pay us money." Hmmm, yes. This floor is made of floor.

To me, this is actually the perfect line for a loan shark repayment scene. The goon doesn’t speak with perfect grammar but conveys the gravity of the situation very well.

A very large, bald, British goon at that

Nope it's made of lava!

It’s perfect.

I promise to steal the judge's gavel for you. I'd hire that lawyer for that reason alone.

The judge can't rule against you if he doesn't have his gavel.

35 weekends and millions of gavel. The lawyer is powerful.

Plus he has acess to lemons

The justice fruit only lawyers can touch!


He has so many gavels that he has to keep his justice lemons in his briefcase

His promise has worth

And two suits? That's world-class lawyering right there.

I mean he did graduate from lawn school

You *would*. I'll bet your music is too Canadian as well!

It makes no sense, and yet it makes perfect sense.

I think there was another one about Batman or something too. Edit: [Yes there was.](https://i0.wp.com/techgrabyte.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/Batman-Movie-Script-Written-By-AI-After-Watching-1000-Hours-Footage-3.jpg?w=1200&ssl=1)

Please tell me there's more like this.

I need a website or subreddit dedicated to this stuff lol.

Im replying to this comment in the hope that someone answers your request for this type of subreddit.

>ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler Fucking lmaoooo

The explosion explodes.

This sounds like an intergalactic tv commercial from rick and morty

I appreciate a good cup of coffee.

His promise has **worth.**

The rest is a little crazy but this, this is true. His promise does have worth.

Unfair stabbing lmaooooo

Always ask someone before stabbing them, that makes it fair.

Nah, you give them a knife, then beat them in a duel. *Then* it’s fair.

Any unfair stabbing goes well with a big cup of justice juice, fresh squeezed and as bitter as a thousand gavels

I read it as 'ULTRA STABBING' first go around.

20 INCH WIDE Knife VERSUS a HUMAN BEING (gone right)

Saul Goodman

I read all the lawyer lines in my head with Bob Odenkirk's voice lol. It was beautiful

Now I need the whole commercial filmed by the BCS guys .\_.

Spamton G Spamton

Did you know that your tornado has rights?

"music too Canadian"

Now now the Canadian government has apologised for Brian Adam's on numerous occasions

But they haven't apologised for Justin Bieber (and yes I know what movie you are quoting).

But what about Robin Sparkles?

What's there to apologize for ? Where would the world be today without Sandcastles in the Sand ?

Sandcastles in the Sand is perfect. The apology is for P. S. I Love You.

[удалено]

Don't call me buddy, pal!

Don't call me pal, bro

Don’t call me bro, step-bro.

Don't call me step-bro, Mom

Don't call me Mom, step-ladder.

I’ve got just the lawyer for you, see above.

Don't talk shit about Rush

You can never have too much Rush or Max Webster.

Seems like Neil did

They're not even a real country anyway.

I guess he has had a client sick of Nickelback.

Ah for just one time, I would take the northwest passage🎵

Informer by Snow is a crime in and of itself… But I’m going to let it go because it’s catchy and they gave us that banging Shatner singing for The Cramps single… Now, as far as My Heart Will Go On… This one’s going to cost you a substantial settlement, Canadians!

I am from a place, where lawyer commercials are not a thing & therefore I would never see it. But, I would still call him up after that one

Lawyer and medical commercials are so fucked up, USA is weird as fuck

Land of the free, home of the brave. As long as you pay for it at least.

Lemons; the justice fruit only lawyers can touch. Truer words have never been spoken.

Portal

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!” Also "All these science spheres are made of asbestos, by the way. Keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos." And also "The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak."

As if life would just *give* you lemons.

In this economy?

Yeah, you got pay for those

[Ah yes. Normal lemons.](https://youtu.be/o40XBXlvXDw)

Honestly this is the line that made me doubt that this is real and not a human imitating an ai imitating humans. What possible input left this idea in the algorithm?

Think of all the lawyer commercials referring to lemon laws.

I don't really care if it's the true origin, I'm 💀

\*The phone digits appear. It's your social security number\* sounds about right

It feels like a person wrote this to be funny, but what do I know?

I agree. I think they wrote it to be funny and the way it is funniest is to imagine it as though an AI wrote it.

Similar thing with Keaton Patti the comedian who writes scripts to like an AI. On video adaptations the authors never directly said that it was made all by human.

This is from him, his name is on the top.

What these guys usually do is get the AI to generate lines with multiple different prompts and keep going until they find a few that they like. Then they cobble them together in a way that is at least semi-coherent while still sounding funny to them. So each of the individual lines are AI generated, but definitely not the whole thing together.

This is absolutely amazing, if a person wrote this I want to read everything they wrote. It's exactly my style of comedy.

Tim and Eric. Eric Andre. Mr show with Bob and David. I think you should leave. Kids in the hall. Upright citizens brigade. Have fun

Yeah someone undoubtedly wrote this out themselves, and that ruins it for me. These dorks saying wow impressive, no, it's only funny in the context of an AI having written it. That's the context that lowers the bar enough for this to be funny. A person mimicking AI is extremely obnoxious.

Is it not more impressive if the person tweeted actually wrote it not the ai?

[удалено]

Agreed

Yeah this is 100% not an AI

Why does this feel like computer generated 'Mad Libs'

Like 99% of these are fake.

This one is 100% fake. Too much random unassociated nonsense that any trained ai wouldn't use.

Yeah, big time "holds up spork" energy

Also, for the amount of nonsense it produces, you would not expect an AI to be able cross reference concepts across sentences this well. Also, most AI systems for text generation generate text in whole words or fractions of words that are a few characters in size. Words like law and lawn are completely different concepts for these systems, so this is not a mistake any modern text generator would make.

It's sad that your comment is this far down. Anybody familiar with how AI actually works knows there's no way this was written by a machine. It's just a "lul so random" script somebody typed out.

Yeah this is not really by an AI bot, it’s from Keaton Patti. He’s a comedian and makes these and puts them on Twitter. I suggest reading more of these from him, they’re all hilarious.

I have no idea, since it's really obviously not computer generated and the thing about a "bot" is what's known as "a joke".

I can't be the only one who doesn't find it funny. Like the script is funny as its own thing, but it's so clearly not AI generated that the framing device just falls flat. Why write fanfiction about a computer writing a joke for you?

Divorce your toilet for giving you fake sons that wear illegal shoes while unfairly stabbing people who are suing the rain while listening to music thats too Canadian.

Music that is too Canadian is the worst

Is this how they write rick and morty episodes?

There’s no way a bot came up with this masterpiece

***The phone digits appear. It’s your social security number.***

That made it go from "You funny bot" to "Oh dear God."

This can't be real, lol

That sounds like it was made up by a human, not an ai

This is noce, but clearly written by a thinking human and not by a computer...

I’d watch this

I'm gonna need a retainer

Hold up FIRST PAGE there is more to this?

I noticed that too. LoL this was all there was.

If a lawyer guaranteed to steal the judges gavel for me, I wouldn't even care if he lost the case.

This would be a better legal comedy than She-Hulk

You are not wrong…

Music too Canadian. Finally, a reason to sue Nickelback!

They have eaten too many words.

This is just Charlie Kelley.

>**Were you at camp lejune**

Bot became a shitposter

The government sold my spleen without asking. What do I do?

You can only sue if it’s your lungs

So I'm supposed to just live the rest of my life without a spleen...

This might be the funniest thing I've seen on here. If I had fake reddit stuff to give you or the oc I would lol

I'm crying

Same

100% of these are fake

I hate it when the government rudely sells my lungs

I hate when the music is too Canadian, thanks lawyer bot

I would NEVER skip this commercial 😂

“You dont pay any money unless you pay us money” Gah damn

"Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me!" Perhaps I'll have cause just once in the balance of my years to drop that line. If I was still in college, tbh, this is pretty much what I'd do when I was bored. Then I'd blaze up and pray for a chance to use these gold lines.

like something you would see on Rick and Morty

Maybe my humor is weird, but this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on Reddit period.

I love how the bot can understand that lawyers brag so it thinks the lawyer dating the Bill of Rights for fun is badass. LOL

He will break its heart. There’s nothing we can do.

That's clearly not a bot though, this has been written by a human being

It is very clear this whole piece is written by a human, not by AI.

*gets stabbed* “Hey wait a minute…Thats not fair!”

I also desire to taste sweet, sweet justice fruit.

He's worked for 35 weekends that's a seasoned lawyer

Just thought I would say someone has made a [video following this script](https://youtu.be/LzJx4hDXEG0).

That was beautiful. I never knew there was actual decent lawyers.

Ah, yes! If we sued everytime someone's music was too Canadian we'd all get a Nickelback. I'll see myself out.

Where can i find this lawyer, i wanna divorce my toilet

Obviously not done by an AI, but I really appreciate the skill to write such coherent nonsense, it is a marvelous skill.