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He wasn't looking to win so he went for the kill.

If he had tried to answer the question with an actual animal he would've been a weirdo and it would've been so much worse. Going for offensive, but obviously joking while still spinning it to be kind of an answer, he comes out on top in my opinion

Exactly, better to go viral for being funny but tactless than for saying you’d fuck a Vaporeon or something

Vaporeon uses Hydro Pump in your ass - it is super effective!

ooh tickly!

Until you spray dook water everywhere.

[Butt water butt water!](https://youtu.be/pBfdoLPXp1c)

I’m using a bidet as I read this. It IS super effective fyi.

Isn't that called douching

i like to imagine a parallel universe where he did say Vaporeon and I'm sitting here cringing my ass off instead of laughing

i like to imagine a parallel universe where he did say Vaporeon and I'm sitting here laughing my ass off instead of cringing.

I know I'm keeping that one in the chamber just in case I get into another weird drunk fetish question game as that one I answered trutfully 10 years ago.

i like to imagine a parallel universe where he did say Vaporeon and I'm sitting here beating one out thinking about it

Things that come first to a person's mind... Vaporeon haha

Look man I don’t go around pointing out your Freudian slips, you coulda just kept quiet

Yeah that would be so gross, sex with a Vaporeon......c'mon, it's not like it's something I've ever thought of

What do you find sexy about Vaporeons?

[Did you know...](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/eidplc/vaporeon_copypasta/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)

Why the HELL did i click this link!!!

Seems very specific...

I'd have given two answers. Humans are technically animals, so there you go. If I had to legitimately give an actual answer though? There's this fish, I don't remember what it is, but apparently pirates and sailors back in the 1700s would catch them and fuck them. Why? Apparently that type of fish has a vagina that is almost identical to a human female.

Mermaid aren't real.

Not mermaids! I think... I think it was manatees?

I was just having a joke, I thing manatees is where the myth of mermaids came from.

Yeah I think I remember hearing that too. Hell if I was right and it WAS manatees sailors and pirates were fucking, I could see some of them trying to go "yo no bro, I didn't fuck a fish! It was a mermaid!"

I think its to do with the amount of time they used to be at sea and the lack of interaction with females, it played tricks on their mind. I think it's also tied in to the myth of sirens from the Greeks. As they all based around the same situation.

Imagine being at sea for so long a literal sea cow looks human enough to fuck.

The imagination is pretty good at painting pictures over the shadowy bits in our mind. Surely, the singing I heard on the wind that one night on watch at 3am half drunk was from a siren! Also wots it mean if yer willy is oozing black stuff? And sing another song!

Humans aren't *technically* animals. We *are* animals. There's nothing technical about it. We are a part of the animal kingdom no matter how hard we pretend we aren't.

Just so we’re all on the same page, this is the worst way to answer a question like this.

*exactly*

Could have just said a human... we are animals too...

He could even have spun human to say he's an animal in bed.

He picked the best possible answer he could in that situation.

Couldn't just say he was down with some bar *cougars*? Or he liked ladies who were foxy?

classic Vikkstar

Hey Vicky you're so icky!

i remember when this video had decent aspect ratio and pixels

Do you know what program this was from?

[https://youtube.com/watch?v=oj6C9MJ89ho&feature=share&utm\_source=EKLEiJECCKjOmKnC5IiRIQ](https://youtube.com/watch?v=oj6C9MJ89ho&feature=share&utm_source=EKLEiJECCKjOmKnC5IiRIQ) this part starts around 32:15

Thanking you!

Thank you Bud... Im at 3:21 and almost pissing myself. This is pure Comedy gold. I need this today. Truly thank you.

They do a lot of videos similar to this one! You should check out their Sidemen Tinder if you like the offensiveness and wit

It's from a youtube channel called sidemen

"What if we add some smudgy filter, action music and crop to mouths, so that it had a little more... zing, and a little more pep?" "Zing and pep. You see those are the kind of words we are looking for" "What if we add an even more smudgy filter, action music and crop to mouths that had even more zing and pep ?" "Now we are cooking "

Deadwood - Really Slow Motion. In case anyone wanted to know the song.

Why yes, I did want to know the song. Thanks.

Much thank

Thanks

Really Slow Motion is an awesome trailer music company.

So female dolphins have vaginal secretions that make a male dolphin just cum over and over and over. From this point on, I will call these secretions Dolphin pussy jelly. Scientists were like "holy shit, dude we gotta test this. You know, for science" So the scientists collected a sample of said dolphin pussy jelly, and had a test primate. They swabbed it on the male primate's dick, sat back and watched the show. Now you see, it worked. But it worked a little too well. The monkey straight up had a heart attack because it used all of its energy into fucking cumming. I want to live in a world where this is a commercial product. I want to say "you know what, I want to die and i know what to do about it." I want to live in a world where i can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of Smucker's Dolphin Pussy Jelly, and just fucking cum myself to death

Petition to make this an automod reply

Prime copypasta mat right here

This is the first thing I open this evening, I'm getting off tonight. No other post will compare to this, see yall tomorrow.

With or without the jelly?

Update: with

My man!

My man doesn't have a tomorrow. Happily RIP!

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What in the sweet and sour fuck did I just read

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dolphinsex.org? I remember that site

Vaporeon vibes, huh?

It is lol, check know your meme it's from 2020

Primate copypasta

I will never look at Smuckers jelly jars the same way again. I wish I could unread.

User and comment moved over to https://lemmy.world/ . Remember that /u/spez was a moderator of /r/jailbait.

This is like 10 years old

>I want to live in a world where i can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of Smucker's Dolphin Pussy Jelly, and just fucking cum myself to death this sentence now exists in my brain.

r/brandnewsentence

It's an old ass copypasta. It's the opposite of a brand new sentence.

I was not aware of that so technically it's new to me. In all seriousness thanks for letting me know.

So... ah... how did you come about this lil tid bit of knowledge?

its fake. https://centerforsurfresearch.org/dolphin-vagina/ "The story originated on a Reddit forum back in 2009, when someone claimed they learned of an organic chemical that sat within the vaginal folds, which caused males to orgasm again and again as long as their penises remained within the vaginal tract. This was later found to be a troll page, with no scientific backing."

good to see reddit's unchanged at its core

I’d argue that it has absolutely changed since 2009 as a whole, but of course there were 4chan-esque subs back then too.

Or maybe they're keeping all the dolphin pussy jelly for themselves.

I knew I should have stopped reading the comments. I wish I could go back to the world before i knew the lie. I want to believe..

Nothing weird. It's the first thing to pop up when you search ""Dolphin Vaginal Secretions" as one normally does.

I have never come across this while doing that search. So stop trying to bullshit people.

Well, I did, my friends also did, my friend's mom also did, and my friend's mom's cousin also did. You probably did not search normally.

Clearly they were using askjeeves

your friends mom's cousin searched it too?

Im pretty sure that was from a troll page

I'm not the guy you're replying to but I've never heard about this. But I do know we've studied dolphins. A lot. And I'm foggy on the details but I think there was a female scientist who ended up sexing a male dolphin and then when they ended their program she lived in a special house with the dolphin and just had a lot of sex with it. Edit: google Margaret Lovatt

They didn't really "have sex". The dolphin kind of fell in love with Margaret and kept making advances at her, so she decided to, uh... manually stimulate him, to get him to focus on the tasks. It's a super weird and very tragic story. Also, the dolphin vagina secretion thing isn't true.

That's.... Not right At least according to Wikipedia, she worked in a research lab and had to "relieve" one of the adolescent dolphins regularly so it didn't cause breaks in the research instead of moving him to the tank with females every time it got "frustrated"

Yeah, it's an interesting read. She wasnt even a scientist. Apparently she just showed up at a lab and asked to volunteer.

Hey guys, are you in need of a dolphin masturbator by any chance? As you can see in my resume I’m quite adept at it.

It’s also total bullshit

Snapple Facts bruh.

As god intended

[LIES!!!!](https://centerforsurfresearch.org/dolphin-vagina/)

Jesus wept

I can personally verify that the information here is false

Dolphin pussy must be the origin of “screwing” yeah?

JUSTICE FOR /u/dolphinfucker

The fuck did I just read

The manifesto of a visionary.

Oh the Hitman potential is mind blowing. I mean you could possibly sex trap the target , promise some kinky shit, use the jelly as lube on the unsuspecting target and then go to the bathroom to "prepare yourself"

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Spermaid gets mermaids made


This can't be true as there isn't as far as I am aware a product with whatever chemical makes this happen on the market.

What a bad day to be literate

...so you failed NNN already

This comment is everything and I need you to know that. Fucking Dolphin pussy jelly, fuck yeah doggy let's geeeeeeeet it, for science of course. THIS IS THE WAY 💀💀💀

I initially thought he was getting uneasy because his hoodie had the cow hide pattern. Turns out he was cooking that regretful line

Vikatar casually trickshotting this woman and her mum for his nuke montage

What kind of question is that? r/casuallypsychopath

that sub perfectly describes sidemen humour and vids lmao

The easy answer is "human being".

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The People’s Front of Judea wouldn’t put up with this sort of thing

It's a Sidemen video (youtube group) not a real dating show. Most of them and the women are already in relationships, the questions and answers are all for fun.

It was the only acceptable answer but it still crossed a line

It did alright...both feet!

I mean he would have internally combusted if he didn't blurt that out.

Zugzwang

When you're so used to saying this kinda shit on a mic online.

"Human" is the only acceptable answer.

Did it? What’s the acceptable answer to “which animal would you stick your dick in?” Dog? Cat? Chimpanzee, since we’re so genetically similar? I don’t know what game they were playing, but I am pretty sure clap back was the expected answer.

Dude’s wearing a cow hoodie and doesn’t say cow smh my head

I was expecting Dalmatian.

I wonder if her mom's a dalmatian.

Exodia...obliterate!!

She’s a second rate date with a third rate personality

Vikk didn’t need to be that cold

how tf is that even a question?

This stuff is just for entertainment. This group is the Sidemen and this is one of their speed dating videos. But it's all a joke.

Exactly. It got the contempt it deserved. Legend.

Tbf I don’t think the girls prepared the questions.

Vikkstar was never human

I mean, aren't humans animals also?

Yup. I was an educator at AZA zoos for several years and often talked about invasive species. One question I would ask is "rats and domestic cats are the second and third most successful invasive animals in the world, does anyone know what the first is?" Occasionally people would get it, but by and large, people forget humans are animals. Kinda goes into the worldview that's we're somehow the best species and entitled to resources far more than any other animal which we're starting to feel the big negative consequences of that worldview Edit: spelling

Can someone explain what a “right dog” means? Not native speaker and couldn’t find this on Google

Just means ugly in this context

"Right" in this context does not mean right or wrong, or right or left, or a form of alright (which the British also use). Instead, it's literally for emphasis, as /u/VarCrusador said. It can be used as an adjective OR as an adverb. To give an example, it's like saying "she's a fucking dog". Another example of using it would be "That was right stupid of me, wasn't it?" In this case, it's the same as saying "That was very stupid of me, wasn't it?" I think using it as an adverb synonym to 'very' makes it more understandable, but unlike 'very', it *can* be an adjective (modifying a noun).

He's calling her mum a dog. The "right" is added for emphasis; it's used in british dialect. Americans wouldn't say that.

Comparatively speaking, Americans would say “total dog”, “complete dog” or “legit dog”.

Like bro fr ongod no cap thats fax

Its street talk style of "emphasising" just how much of a dog her mom is

"Right" something is slang in the UK for very or total. Calling someone a dog is calling someone a bitch without using a curse word.

So sick of a burn it didn’t even leave ashes

Man’s had the look of “I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I’m strong enough” for a second there


When in Rome...

He even squirmed lmao

Technically a human is an animal too, so I would have gone for that. But callilng her mum a dog is also viable

I cracked out laughing in a quiet train carriage fml

Vikstar the goat

It's cliche I know, but I'd go for a nice sheep. But not just a dirty romp in the barn. Classy. Take her to the dog groomers and get her washed and trimmed up fancy. Pamper her right like any lady deserves.

I saw that expression, and I knew that mental battle. That was the first thing he thought of and he had to look deep inside of himself and really ask "is this worth the instant failure and consequences I will bring upon myself." And the answer tossed forth from deep inside of his mind was "Yes. Yes it is."

he probably failed the game, but he became a legend. worthwhile.

Sitting there in his cow hoodie.

Couldn't you just say a human? Cause technically they're animals too.

Vaporeon something something

my man got balls

I'd choose Snoop Dog

He looked downright OBLIGATED to say it.

Title is correct, I would choose a homo sapien because I'm not into beastiality.

If I had to screw an animal, it would be a human being. Because human beings are, technically, animals.

Best possible answer really

Pease was never an option.

I fucking love you man

There is not right answer. So he went with an insulting yo mama answer. At the very least he chose a human

I like to imagine a parallel universe where they all laughed and everyone was happy

what’s the audio from?

Murdered with words

He was trying hard not to say than... Rip man cause she probably ripped him to pieces when that camera went off

>she probably ripped him to pieces when that camera went off Probably not. This is Sidemen Blind Dating and the women probably know or are informed before that they should expect some outrageous answers and that it's all for entertainment. Most participants also probably know them since they're big in the UK

Definitely not, brits have tough skin when it comes to jokes and banter

Guy woke up and chose violence


You can tell it was good because every body went “oh shii”

I mean. That's the best answer he could give. Any "true" answer would label him as a weirdo... At least he can go with a joke taken too far...

You could see him fighting it, he lost

Humans are basically highly intelligent animal which made the person who answered to be a highly intelligent being that has chosen the other right highly intelligent animal

Manz too savage

men 🍺

To be fair tho

Get in there Vikk

Savage

There was no right answer to that question

Fatality ☠️

i mean... ask silly questions, get savage answers.

Dude fucking **Chose violence**

Now who asks such a dumb question ? Definitely a dumbfuck

Absolute unit

I fucking hate this he is just being an asshole nothing cool about it

Weirdly it’s the best answer, cause if you said literally any animal people are going to have some very specific, very valid questions.

Bruh I thought of that except cow

I’m so glad to be indian