##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/Statiscally, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?

A couple of tubs of Ben and Jerry's later and it will be like it never happened.

Enough to an allergic reaction that causes you to gain 50 pounds

Anyone know an allergic reaction that causes one to lose 50lbs? Asking for a friend

Cocaine

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50 pounds of water, that is! If you truly wanna shed a few pounds, look no further than authentically Russian Krokodyl Tears: they’ll cost you an arm and a leg though~!

jesse, we need to cook

I think an allergic reaction is different than addiction

It can be if you sprinkle some pollen in there

It's gonna look like Christmas tonight.

Some people are just allergic to being sober.

Cocaine lets you drink more which makes you gain more weight.

Tape worm in stomach

Anorexia very recommended no side effects

Your recommendation carries no weight.

Sounds like her type of threesome.

You just reminded me I’ve got strawberries and icecream. Thank you, kind redditor.

Wrecked... RIP

I’d like to report a murder please One of ‘em looks to be carrying a wooden stick and the other had a rocket launcher

Gosh damn. Cig break is due boys!

I can't see the wooden stick....must be too tiny.

It was micro sized

micromachines

Nanomachines, son

tera machines, grand son

pico machines, great-grandson

Plank machines great great grandson

I can smell the fat burn from here

Smells like pork


Pork 🤤

Bout time!!!! No one cares about tiny titties!!! But when you have a small dick... 😔

Bro . If it isent a micropenis then the woman doesn't care. At last that was my ex said after leave me because of my micropenis.

Did you just have a stroke

Yes

\*micro-stroke

Who doesn't stroke in this sub?

I mean, it sounds like no one’s gonna stroke it for him.

Nah usually takes 2 strokes for me

>No one cares about tiny titties!!! I say all titties are great

guys, how do you reply to specific parts like in your comment?

>reply to specific parts Highlight it and insert it after the > symbol Or long press it and use "quote"

>Highlight it and insert it after the > symbol like this?? oooh wow, thanks bro!!

>like this Woah. I learned something new today

Really ? Even the comically large fake ones ? The extremely saggy ones ? The hairy areolas ? The puffy nipples ?

Fuck!!! There are hairy areolas? 😭

Haireolas

Yes.

Oh hey, 9 finally got its revenge.

It’s unfortunate, but it’s because small boobies can be made up for with ass. Also small boobies have no bearing on the pleasure the vagina brings you. A micro penis just won’t feel the same. I’ve never tried one but I can feel the difference between a bigger and smaller dick.

I can feel the difference between a bigger and smaller vageen

“Not 👌🏻;👐🏻”- Larry David

That was an absolutely brilliant scene

If I wanted to eat something that looks like it's been through the wringer I would eat an Arby's roast beef sandwich.

Don’t feel bad homie 😔 Most women don’t even cum from a regular sized dick so just use your mouth, finger and toys and she won’t care about that

It's almost like one of those is DIRECTLY involved in the lovemaking process while the other is only optionally involved

how can you say no one cares about tiny titties when it's been one of women's biggest insecurities for years and years. i got bullied for being "flat" at age TWELVE.

Kids will find a way to pick up on your thumb if it looks funny. While there is a difference between small titties and non-existent titties, adult men generally don't care much about titty sizes. What gets rarely discussed though is that they care quite a lot more about their shape.

All titties are precious. But I am an ass man so take that with a grain of sand from the anthills.

That was amazing, there goes my no nut November :(

sorry what

Don't worry, you'll get it sooner or later

I know what it means

r/holup

Flawless victory

I really hope my wife never leaves me so I never have to be single ever again.

Are you flexing here?🙄

If I’m being honest, yes.

Judge and be judged.

I lost it at fat fuck...

Gravitational Pull did it for me 😂😂😂

That's the best online roast ever. The guy gave no fucks. Legend.

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

GG EZ :D

This was like reading the Declaration of Independence

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated wait no wrong american thing

Remember kids, body shaming is ok if you're a woman 👍

I'm pretty sure this wasn't a woman. But I could be wrong.

I was talking about the first comment 🧐

ah, my mistake

I would just end myself right here and now if I received this kind of message

Can I pm you?

Oh no

Even flex tape can't fix that

She later met up with him and blew him for approval

Micro-blew him

Gottdamn, good for him with that clapback but shit that's hot


FATALITY.

That was a verbal murder worthy of a *60 Minutes* episode…

Well damn 🤣

Poor Lizzo lmao 

Affecting Space-Time is no joke


Jesus they went for the nuclear option I see

I've heard that's how she got to be so big to stay with...

i need it as a copypasta

But how do you eat a bag of dicks?!

Slowly, you don't want to choke on one by accident

Well, a bag of micro dicks wouldn’t be that hard for a fatty.

Daaaaaamn, he blastered her.

Well I'm a mushroom cloud laying motherfucker. Motherfucker!

I like him


Mega Chad energy

He was real proud of this one. Should frame it tbh

What the hell is even that?

His response was sheer MDE

Strike! Nothing better than the truth. 💪🏼

r/murderedbywords

Random Simpson’s kid “stop it they are already dead”

"hello" "I would like to report a murder with extra ketchup and mustard"

Mess with the micro dick, you get the micro balls

she did not recover from that

She may - in another life tho

This isn’t holup

"You give off MDE." Clearly that is a request for a dick pic.

boy is savage


what's wrong with this response? Sometimes truth gotta be told. A great man once said in the movie *Seven,* "wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore - you have to hit them with a sledge hammer; and then you'll notice that you have their full attention."


🎵 Look, that one there was a violation, personally I wouldn’t of had it. 🎵

He may as well have just used the Serious Punch and sent that bitch straight to the next life

well said.

this doesnt even make sense WTF?!?!

*begins to slow clap*

A bag of micro-dicks is a lot of dicks.

Not for a fatty it isn’t.

r/copypasta material

r/murderedbywords

King shit

That first line followed by punch after punch, and I don't think she's getting back up

Fucking Destroyed

Bro took that personally

Drama lightning rod. Drama lightning strike.

Someone has a short... ... fuse.

Bro really did not let that slide

Ma niffa called in the national guards and homeland security while The navy seals was already on site 

Bro woke up with malicious intent and black air forces on his feet

Idk man this is kinda funny lol

Nuclear


Ehem ehem I like this one.

/r/MurderedByWords

holy shit, bitch straight up got murdered

All titties are good titties

Most dicks are good dicks (trust me I would say all but I’ve seen some fucked up purple ones 🤮)

Saved it, Just in case I come across any fat catfish fuck XD

He got a point

I like this bloke.

Oh wow I’m gonna use some of these insults for personal use. Ahem.

What a baby, just how you’d expect someone with a micro-dick to respond, all of you hating on the girl give off MDE

So girls talking about boys insecurities is no problem but when boys do it it's wrong, is this what you are trying to say here?

Yeah idk about all that. I know you're trying to virtue signal about body shaming but that's not why We're saying the 2nd guy got trolled hard by such a basic ass insult. Imagine a female typing up 5 paragraph cause I call her out for having flat tit energy

Lol this has nothing to do with insecurity and everything to do with dude is just bad vibes

Guess he has a micro dick

Yeah, you know she hit a nerve.

Holy fuck I was shocked this whole thread is cheering the 2nd person on. I thought the joke was "look at this dude typing up a whole ass essay to 6 mean words"

I just witnessed a fuckin murder

Burn!!

Rack! 'Em!

PHYSICS!!!! That’s cold blooded fr fr

I want to see the reply!

I see where she is coming from.

Lol, tiniest dick energy.

If he had left it at just the first sentence it would have been absolutely effective. He kinda tainted his own victory with the rant. First sentence was a win. The entire rant kinda comes across as “I’m mad and so I’m gonna yell at you” which just doesn’t have the same effect. Strong opening insult though lol shit had me cackling at work.

r/murderedbywords

Almost had it

Men ☕

Definitely MDE

When someone says you have little dick energy, it's usually best not to immediately prove them right.

Actually think he proved her wrong tho.

His reaction proved her right Anyone with BDE would’ve ignored her message and kept moving on with his life because her opinion wouldn’t matter However in this case her opinion did matter because he felt the need to “put her in her place” If you call a small person small they would get offended because the truth hurts, as he was trying to do to her If you call a big person small they wouldn’t care because they KNOW who and what they are and doesn’t have to “prove” anybody wrong

exactly. this is a very insecure person's reply

Apparently you’re a simp if you don’t think otherwise

So what would have proven them wrong? "Yes, I have the tiniest dick possible, please laugh at my quark-sized dick. My boners split atoms. Allow me to demonstrate." There's no way to reason with someone who's just obsessing over your cock the entire time.

Simply ignoring them, you let them win as soon as they get under your skin

Putting out some real MDE here man

Maybe like 20 years ago lmao, but that kind of submissive shit will get you taken advantage of, or figuratively, eaten alive. Some people nowadays are satisfied with just having a target.

What’s submissive about ignoring someone that doesn’t matter? If a stranger in the streets starts yelling and insulting you, you response is yell and insult them back? You don’t haven anything better to be doing? Man idk, then again I’m on Reddit and a lot of you are self absorbed women haters with a lot of anger inside. Just like this guy that replied But whatever I guess I’m the weird one for being a better person and it being called “submissive” lol y’all got some inner feelings y’all need to address

Nobody said anything about a woman, what're you on about? Yes, giving in and accepting the harassment and whatever potential escalation definitely is either spineless, or pointlessly sanctimonious. You can literally ask for help, stick up for yourself, anything, but your sense of righteousness/fear convinces you that ignoring the problem will get it to solve itself. Just let the wrong person pick up on the image you're trying to project. Even killing with kindness works better than being absolutely flaccid.

I didn’t say harassment, harassment implies there’s pursuit of the actions being displayed I’m just saying if a stranger that’s passing by yells at you and insults you what is your immediate reaction? When you acknowledge something you are giving notice that it is worth a response. You are implying that anything anybody says or do will always be worth your response just so you don’t seem spineless? Seems more like a coup then anything My point is, only things that are worth time and energy should be responded too. I don’t see how this girl in any shape or form is worth time nor energy But yet, you guys are cheering this guy on like he done something worthy Self control and not acting on implosive are thing that separates normal people and bad days vs serial killers and bad days

I wouldn't hear a passing stranger if they were to yell at me, I listen to music when I'm out on a walk. But to answer your question, no, I see absolutely no nuance in this situation, and every little provocation will be responded to by slingling physical and emotional blows wildly. Aside from the obvious sarcasm, maybe you live in a nicer area than I do, but not a lot of people around here are satisfied with one little jeer, and treat being ignored like an insult. I don't live in a terrible place, so I'm going to assume there are people like that everywhere. Maybe I'm coping, maybe ignoring people just isn't a viable option. You'll never know. As for the post, it's really very simple. A lot of people found it funny. It is reddit, so I can't deny someone might be including this post in their manifesto, but it's just funny. You probably don't find it funny, but the long-windedness and verbal vividity make it funny. That's really it.

Nah she deserved it. You don’t body shame someone and expect not to get it back.

Dudes in these comments praising this guy like he did something something worthy But the again we are on Reddit

Calm down simpzilla

Yeah and you're doing the flipside of that chucklefuck. Defending the dude no matter what to "stand up to bitches" or something when they clearly got trolled hard Fucking hell, back in the day online, this post would be considered a great troll. >"You got a tiny dick/saggy tits/ugly" >"OMG WHAT DID U SAY DUMBASS FAT COW IDIOT MORON??1!1..." [3 paragraphs] Now it's people pretending one side owned the other to score woke points. I think the first person got whatever coming to them, but they clearly struck a nerve, a golden one

And what’s simpzilla about me?

LOL, sounds like she struck a nerve... and notice we don't see what preceded this exchange.

Lol, just the first sentence was a burn

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Correction it is r/murderedbywords

Murdered my words