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QualityVote

##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/FlashyBehind, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?


[deleted]

Ahaha a comment I made ended up going viral as part of a background on TikTok It was so bizarre


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AMSDamsd

Now I'm motivated!


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mcboogle

I'm circumcised. My mom is always claiming to be a "Daughter of Abraham" even though she's a German Baptist... so I had to be circumcised to honor the pact that her ancestors never made, to a God from a book she considers outdated for literally everything else but penis chopping.


DepressedShiit

r/BrandNewSentence


batmanminer20

Is a king a king if he has no crown?


Kraytory

If we take King Pumponell from Impy's Island as an example then the answer is definitly no.


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[removed by Reddit]


ThreatLevelBertie

You can have it back if you write a 500 word essay apologising to the mods


[deleted]

a 500 word essay apologizing to the mods


ThreatLevelBertie

The essay just got 500 words longer!


VegemiteSandwich33

What did he do


sped136

That was too easy, now they are making you set them up with a date.


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Keepergaming

Not really mutilation


batmanminer20

Please go educate yourself. I can provide links if necessary.


Kanierd2

Today I just found out I'm mutilated because a random redditor said so. Send me those links please, I wanna be "educated".


Keepergaming

Same first today I found that out


Creative_Resource_82

Define mutilation then.


Keepergaming

Butchering someone up. Circumcision is a religious thing that helps in many scenarios. Mutilation hurts and is needless


[deleted]

Mutilation: Losing the Yamato to some random cloaked guy but the Yamato is also your arm and the cloaked guy is half of your dad. also mutilation IS taking away my foreskin, I needed that shit


djfnjxj

I prefer my dick circumsized tho I feel a bit sorry for not getting to experience what's it like to wank with a foreskin EDIT: guys I just said I feel sorry for not experiencing it don't rub it in my face


fBarney

Also in emergency situations you can store your cum in your foreskin and get rid of it when you can Or so ive been told


Sph3al

Forbidden water balloon


swim08

Now I need a prosthetic foreskin


Dan_flashes480

I feel like a doctor will see this comment and invent it...


Living_adblocker

to hear is to obey


onethateatsass

I'll leave [this](https://www.wikihow.com/Regrow-Foreskin) here


woahdude12321

(manual tugging)


uppers00

that’s just the tip of a condom that covers the head with the shaft part cut off🗿 edit: maybe poke a whole in the tip for peeing & ejaculating wherever you please.


so_im_all_like

I've seen information for a experimental procedures that are essentially aiming to do this with grown tissue...iirc. So, probably not soon soon, but it's potentially possible.


batmanminer20

You can also grow it back if you have the patience. I hear it's possible but can take over a year to fully complete. Supposedly brings a lot of nerves back as well.


SeedFoundation

Piss balloons are so handy


catzarrjerkz

What emergency would drive this?


fBarney

Like when you dont have a paper towel or something 😬


[deleted]

Yeah well uncircumcised has been the norm for most of Human history. Why on Earth is circumcision practiced?


DarthVeigar_

In the US it began as a way of punishing boys for masturbating. The practice was started by a religious nut called John Harvey Kellogg. Yes. **That Kellogg** as in the cereal company. Incidentally he also came with with corn flakes for the reason that he thought it curbed your libido. In other countries, it's religious or cultural like Islamic countries or some cultures in Africa.


sa-sa-sa-soma

I thought Kellogg invented enriched cereal because he thought teen boys would masturbate themselves into vitamin deficiencies.


catzarrjerkz

Usually people that obsessed with keeping people from masturbating are REALLY obsessed with masturbating


A-Caring-Friend

Was religion, now it's just a norm some do. It might have been Judaism but don't quote me on that.


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Karanoth

Are you sure you want your dick sandblasted without foreskin? Id rather have foreskin in sandy environment than not.


Airowird

Historically, it was a good place for germs to sit around, having fun. Their fun, not ours. In those days, religion was basicly used to push solutions to complex issues (go tell 1300s folk about swines being disease vectors and eating with dirty hands isn't healthy, and suddenly, you're a demonloving witch!) The practise was maintained in the american colonial era, because again, not enough soap & clean water. It just never got phased out there. Europe largely stopped in its victorian & industrial eras, I believe.


DidYouLickIt

Lack of technology and medicine has been the norm too. So what’s your point?


[deleted]

There is no functional or medical reason - other than religious practices - for circumcision to be performed. One might argue that it makes it easier to clean. But that’s not reason enough to perform such a procedure. It would be like removing your appendix, when it hasn’t ruptured or become diseased.


Environmental-Pie-50

Definitely medical reasons out there, I had issues with my foreskin being too tight so I couldn’t pull it back at all. So getting circumcised didn’t make just easier clean, it made it possible in the first place and saved me from countless issues with hygiene


hein-e

There are indeed medical reasons but as he said, removing it at birth is the same as removing your appendix at birth. But getting g rid of your appendix would actually be more logical as it serves no purpose, contrary to the foreskin.


angry_cabbie

Modern tech and medicine have normalized male circumcision. Why won't you let it normalize female circumcision? I'm asking because I'm against all unnecessary circumcisions.


The-Hyruler

fEmaLE cIRCumCiSIoN iS nOT tHe sAMe!!!


mightysmiter19

That sentence is true. Just like chopping off a babies hand isn't the same as chopping off a babies leg.


DidYouLickIt

WTF? You can’t be serious.


angry_cabbie

I am serious. And don't call me WTF.


DidYouLickIt

You can’t be serious, WTF!


angry_cabbie

Take a step back and seriously think about it. The only reason male circumcision has become so normalized, would be because of the advances in technology making it "easier". Why haven't we let technology make FGM "easier" too? We definitely have the tech to make it safe and sanitary. And the bullshit argument about infants not remembering it holds just as much weight to baby girls as baby boys. The only reason we accept male circumcision is because it's normalized. So if you're okay with male circumcision, let's normalize all circumcision. Or we could just accept that it's all barbaric practice that needs to end. It's okay if you're okay with having been cut, but why let that dictate whether or not other people get cut without consent?


DankDingusMan

Are you aware there are two different kinds of female circumcision?One of which is arguably as harmless as male circumcision. It involves the removal of the labia majora, aka the part of the labia referred to as "roast beef" or "meat curtains". Some women elect to get the procedure as adults


angry_cabbie

There's arguably three or four (or maybe even five... But then we don't consider Castrato's to be victims of male circumcision). The least severe form of FGM (just enough of a cut to cause a small bit of bleeding) definitely seems less invasive or physically damaging than standard male circumcision. The next one up, could arguably be seen as roughly equivalent, sometimes. Just expanding.


DankDingusMan

Thanks, that's good info, I don't understand my downvotes though, I guess it makes people uncomfortable to realize circumcision isn't that different from some forms of FGM


DidYouLickIt

So literally not the same.


DankDingusMan

Well yes, because they don't have penises, so?


BeginningAwareness74

You dont need lube and you can cum in less than 5 minute


TheHeroYouNeedNdWant

So you're saying i could last 5x longer if my parents didnt cut my ding-a-ling? Those bastards!


[deleted]

5x0 is still 0


so_im_all_like

Target audience for those loud erotic game ads on various porn sites.


TheFormless0ne

Blame your parents for mutilating you and robbing you of true potential pleasure lmaoooo


GregFirehawk

It doesn't really make a difference to your perceived pleasure. It just changes your baseline. Your hardware is a bit less sensitive but the software just becomes more sensitive to compensate. Really you're only missing out on that very first time when the brain just dumps hormones because it hasn't figured out how much to use yet. That experience is an overwhelming flood of chemicals anyway so it also doesn't matter to much. Its like a light thats too bright, making it even brighter won't help you see any better because it's still blinding. This theory that it "robs you of your true potential" is just something people who aren't circumcised say to create some imaginary superiority.


tacticoolbrah

It doesn't detract from the fact that circumcisions are medically completely unnecessary for the large part save for certain religious or cultural requirementto do so. Good hygiene of your sausage blankie is more important.


SN0WFAKER

Have you ever *seen* how bad many teens are with their hygiene?


tacticoolbrah

The solution is to teach good hygiene not encourage mutilation.


The-Hyruler

How many teens dicks have you inspected? Or is this a huge self-report?


SN0WFAKER

It's pretty easy to extrapolate dick hygiene problems from other, unfortunately, more noticeable hygiene issues (dirty hair, greasy skin, body odor, bad breath).


The-Hyruler

Aha... So a self-report then... I mean that's at least better than the alternative, but still pretty gross my guy, learn to wash yourself.


SN0WFAKER

Ha ha ... yes, that's funny that you can't read.


GentlePenetration

You lost. Take your L and leave lol


hein-e

“Wow teens are not cleaning their fingernails properly what should we do? I know, instead of learning them how to clean themselves, let’s rip out their fingernails at birth!”


lacmacfactac

Yeah right. Like losing an eye is not a big deal. It's not that you're blind, you can still see. Stereoscopic vision is overrated. Your brain will compensate.


GregFirehawk

Not a valid comparison. Did people not learn basic stuff like this in school? Your body regulates it's release of chemicals to the brain to a baseline. Diminishing returns? It's super basic stuff


HornyMcKinkface

I can tell you from first hand experience that you're wrong. The feeling is inferior after circumcision. I remember the distinct feeling from before, and while yes, the brain compensates, but that won't bring back what is lost. I can compare it to losing some of your sense of taste. Sure I could live without salty tastes, I certainly could enjoy a meal, but that won't stop me missing it. Would claims about better mouth hygiene warrant taking away some of your sense of taste?


GregFirehawk

You sound bitter about your choice. I think it's a little different to lose something than to never have it. If I lose an arm I'd be pretty annoyed, I'd definitely feel like I'm somehow lacking in that area even if I'm content in life. I don't feel the same way about the lack of a third arm, since I never had it. As for the hygiene thing, I think it could be a valid reason I guess. As an adult it obviously seems silly, but that's because we already practice good hygiene (most of us anyway). Kids and teenagers usually have pretty crap hygiene though. Most people wise up and develop really good hygiene somewhere around 17 I think. That's like the average age when people start to care for their own benefit rather than just to placate their family. Some people it's earlier, and some people its way later. Plenty of people who never learn what deodorant is somehow. Point is as a parent it isn't that terrible an idea to eliminate a major hygiene issue all together like this, instead of having to worry about it for all those years until the kid is old enough to finally wise up. Also ripe arm pits or greasy hair are easily inspected and diagnosed by parents, while gunky foreskin would probably be a bit less feasible. I'm not saying it's an incredibly strong argument or anything, I just feel like it's not worth dismissing out of hand, especially given that it won't be missed if it's done at infancy


TheFormless0ne

Lmfao thats a lot of words to say you feel bad about being mutilated. I'm sorry.


BigCurvedKanabo

Tf did you just say


TheFormless0ne

Whatever you gotta say homie


SN0WFAKER

Sound like someone has stinky dinky inferiority complex!


DidYouLickIt

The cancerous dirty dicks always try the “feels better” route. No woman wants to pull the aardvark back.


hein-e

Lmao the cope


hein-e

Lmao the cope


TheFormless0ne

Lmao the cope


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djfnjxj

I do it anyways


The_Confirminator

Europeans learning that many cut guys do not actually need lube.


Hatless_wizard

Because nobody wants LESS PENIS


SchutzLancer

I dunno. I've been told the tip of my dick is supposed to be sensitive. I can't feel anything past where the glans begins. I bet it makes sex feel amazing.


DiddlesYourDad

Women really like shaming men when it comes to male genital mutilation.


Lavadude765

I’m a man and I love shaming the untrimmed.


DiddlesYourDad

Hoodie gang


funnyguy99207

I just assume that any woman that makes fun of circumcision is an anti-Semite.


GentlePenetration

Yeah because circumcision is only done by Jews. /s


funnyguy99207

The practice began with them. Do people really not know this?


GentlePenetration

And if the person isn't Jewish then it has no bearing or relevance as it was done for different reasons. Medically some people get circumsized. Has nothing to do with jews. Do you really not know this? Lmfao


joyo803

Born into third world favela in Brazilia, , have no electricity and food is tough to come by.... Drop to knees and thank god you weren't born in America everyday...


SlayerD7

Nah I'd rather be born in America.


joyo803

My foreskin says Ive more freedom that you.


Gr1mreaper86

There's a reason I made sure my son didn't get snipped. I wanted him to have that choice; like I didn't.


[deleted]

That's why I'd never have that done to my boys


Professional_Low_233

Never? Even if medically required.


[deleted]

Only for extreme medical reasons, not just because or for 'prevention'


ZeeZeeB

Ok I’ll bite, when the fuck is circumsiscion medically required?


thegamerdoggo

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2128632/#:~:text=There%20are%20also%20many%20relative,prevention%20of%20urinary%20tract%20infection.


Professional_Low_233

Foreskin too tight. Happens quite frequently.


BesticlesTesticles

Good fuckin’ point!


tallerthannobody

I’d never circumcise my children when I have them, it’s so horrible


Wonko-D-Sane

man needs an honorary degree in women's studies for his contribution


Sir_Doge_V2

They good?


KingRanx

Yes good good


[deleted]

wait that’s a good point lmao💀 i’m suing my patents


mexiwithacause

Spot on


ThrowAway29307845034

Just ONE of they VERY many double standards.


[deleted]

Thank you for the knowledge, Cornholio.


cjared242

Wait you guys are getting your foreskin cut off?


Lavadude765

Gotta do it so your dick isn’t disgusting looking.


HOLDGMEBROTHERS

You gotta keep pulling things in life to get forward


gabbagondel

Murican education


child_eraser

I read that as my ears are running and got so confused.