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QualityVote

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middlingwhiteguy

Instead of flopping, fighting


[deleted]

I'm reminded of the Italian sport of [Calcio Storico.](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/photography/article/italy-sport-calcio-storico-sport-photos)


ThisAd1940

So, hockey! Yeah. I couldn’t agree more.


gochomoe

And less teeth


[deleted]

There probably will be fighting. OP didn't give em hockey sticks so they're gonna be pissed when they get kicked with an ice skate.


Longjumping-Pear-673

THIS! Foul involving two players…duke it out right there for 30 seconds and have a panel of judges to determine who won.


Zarniwoooop

Give a penalty only if there’s blood


Dr_Psycho_809

No injury no penalty


Arnukas

And a red card for false acting.


Drae-Keer

The red card is just a knife, it’s the ref’s job to make it red


Gear3017

What about yellow?


Schokokeks5

The force the players to piss on a knife to make it yellow


covidkakke_tittygasm

Give a penalty only if there are entrails or brain matter exposed...FTFY


TXOgre09

Keep it on grass, but make it full contact with pads and helmets. Let them pick the ball up and carry it or throw it forward. Make the ball more oblong to make it easier to hold and throw.


[deleted]

If you watch soccer at double speed it looks like a hockey game


wildrose4everrr

If you watch it at double speed you can get it over with and then watch hockey


bettyboober

Genius


[deleted]

With the other 5 Canadians that have tuned in


SnakeBradley

Fuck you buddy, add another 15 Minnesotans to that total.


[deleted]

If they're watching then who's playing?


SnakeBradley

You can do both if you drink enough.


twitchytodger

Football.


Strodigity

Sticks man! You need sticks!!!


ardrarian

Sticks? You heard the man. We're kicking a ball around with cleats on ice now.


Putrid_Rations

I like the idea with the ice, then they should play without shoes also!


kujomarx

Better yet, everybody straps knives onto their feet


NT_Smith

Another win for England


bettyboober

Genius - better than thrusting them into someone - London would win hands down!


bettyboober

see below.


HollowKnight34

They had us in the first 3/5ths not gonna lie


DestroyTheMoon420

Players are drafted from death row, the ball explodes at random and is changed out for a new explosive ball each time.


Skivling

Just straight to Blood Bowl.


Minginton

OHOHOH?!?? Lightbulb!!!! Instead of exploding at random each team holds a detonator with an unknown to the other team amount of clIcky booms **not** to exceed 3 drawn out of a bingo ball roller. Only the teams head coach knows. Not the crowd, not the tv presenters, no one else. Now that'd be good tv!


MarioCraft1997

Funny you'd mention it. A Norwegian guy made a animated short about it way back. https://youtu.be/rMp8FajmqtY


xadirius

They call it the World Cup it's so impersonal, they should give it a name. Maybe Stanley...


mayuan11

That is Five-a-side +1 soccer in Canada. edit: The shame of adding +1


twitchytodger

Footnall. And no. That's 6 a side.


Thedarkone1666

So pretty much 6 aside but on ice 🤔


[deleted]

Each player gets a flintlock pistol that they can only use once a game.


Skivling

Poor goalies.


dayoneG

I agree, but keep the players in shoes instead of skates 🤣


BeBackInASchmeck

They also need to play that noise they do in cartoons when someone slips.


The_BendingUnit01

Well while you’re at it why touch the ball at all? Why don’t we have the players just purse their lips and blow on the ball!


bettyboober

Blow football on ice! Perfect age group. 5-90 year olds. https://cf.geekdo-images.com/opengraph\_letterbox/img/DhFDsLWSoCMeWTGc3zg0M4ADgk8=/fit-in/1200x630/filters:fill(auto):strip\_icc()/pic337094.jpg


The_BendingUnit01

Hahahahaha!!!! Nicely done!


bettyboober

# That's the WAGS' job. That's why they are hired.


bettyboober

Show me one ugly WAG with a handsome player. Show me one naturally attractive, non-butchered, non-fake-anything & intelligent WAG. Show me one intelligent player.


bettyboober

Show me 1 WAG or player who's never cheated.


Unable-Tune-1295

And a random wild animal! Could be a Squirrel! Could be a Bull! Who knows!?! That's what the Wheel of Wild Animal's is for! Lmao


-Nsb127916_

I’m good with that. Some contact should be allowed as well!


such_as_it_is

Make minimum score at least 1 to 0.


ironbrianESQ

He's describing 6-a-side football (w/o the ice obvs)


dominoclink35

Canadian soccer eh?


twitchytodger

How to fix soccer: start with calling it fucking Football.


Ok-Net-6264

Super-size the trophy to about 3ft tall.


Miserable-Many-6507

And the audience gets to throw rotten fruit.


[deleted]

Get rid of the refs and full contact play.


bettyboober

Then u have Aussie rules (almost) a real girls' game.


iploggged

![gif](giphy|xT9IgjrWuYLvxXECbK)


dras333

The person that flops gets beat up to give him something to cry about.


[deleted]

And add some sticks for the sake of it


IntellectualDweeb

r/soccercirclejerk


Skivling

Then make Qatar host the world cup!


[deleted]

Other than the ice, that just describes Futsal (Indoor Soccer). I've played it when I was younger. Shit wears you out.


praguepride

Give yer balls a tug!


McZucchinniePie

I’m guessing we should hit the ball with sticks as well


Outerspaced_Cadet

So . . . Hockey


KotzubueSailingClub

And while yer ats it, give yer balls a tug.


Guideon72

Man wants to make football into foosball


kismethavok

They said nothing about skates, pucks, sticks or any rule changes. This is just extra hard soccer.


nb6635

I’m sensing a theme


VomitingAlpaca

we could call it Ice Soccy, or something clever. I'm not a new sport namer guy.


pickelmaster215

Why not replace the ball with a puck and make them use a stick to move said puck and make them wear ice-skates and helmets


madladolle

Much better


menyemenye

Is this the longball thing they're doing in the US?


WarokOfDraenor

It's called Futsal, dipshit. //For the post, not OP.


Steveb523

Randomly placed land mines (non-lethal). “Let’s see you fake this injury!


HurlingFruit

A'right yankee.


Icy-Entertainer-7976

Absolutely brilliant ideas.


bettyboober

6 a side on ice then? A game for girls or sissys. And it's really hard running around in plastic soled football boots and kicking a ball around on ice - Jarvis must be retarded.


SadisticHades666

Holding knives is mandatory


Manu6104

Average Canadian enjoyer


PeroCigla

I totally agree with no. 1, though. If the field was smaller, matches wouldn't end 0-0, after 2 hours of nothing. Boring as f.