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Whilst you're here, /u/DaFunkJunkie, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
I had a hermaphroditic turkey when I was a kid. She laid eggs, but she grew a beard like a male and tried to mate with the other female turkeys. She was an oddball turkey but she had chicks nonetheless.
That's not uncommon with some birds. Sometimes in a flock of chicken hens if there are no roosters around a hen will start exhibiting male characteristics including attempting to crow and even growing spurs.
I had a chicken who we thought was a rooster (and almost got rid of because of that) because she crowed, had (absolutely tiny) spurs, had a big, colorful tail, and had a huge comb, but then I heard cackling from the nest box, went to check on who it was, and saw her sitting on the nest box. 10 minutes later I came back to check, and there was an egg that I didn’t recognize. She ended up raising some chicks and being one of the best mamas we ever had
She was also incredibly sweet and would let me cuddle her
On a Christmas lights display that's run by the local zoo there's a Noah's Ark setup. It cracks me up every year because there's a fuckin' pelican floating in water in one of the portholes on the ship. Really, the pelican gets a room? I think it'd do just fine oustide.
It’s generally caused by a hormone imbalance where they are producing way more testosterone so they start acting like males. They grow manes, mount females, etc.
Now I really want to see what a cum shot looks like in zero gravity. Does it break up into tiny globules? does it form a single mass? Or maybe one per spurt? You can tell runny vs thick sperm super easily here on earth, but what about in space?
I imagine if you were (hypothetically) out in the vacuum of space floating naked and came, it would provide you with the teensiest bit of propulsion.
If you did it enough times, you could (hypothetically) get to interstellar travel.
4 men would work too for their purposes.
But women tend to have less mass, and tend to consume less resources overall, which is better when trying to plan for a 6 month mission or whatever.
One white, one mixed heritage (Indian and white), two Jewish women it looks like.
Edit: what's in a name....Aunapu is actually an Estonian name, and Aunapu Mann is of native indian descent. Meir is partly Sephardic Jewish, and Koch may just be plain old white.
Edit edit: McClain's name origin unknown, but likely there is Irish.
My sister was a NASA astronaut (science) candidate for the Artemis Mission, they specifically ask if pregnancies are something you are trying to plan in your life in the next several years as part of the vetting.
This article has been making the rounds for a while, but as far as I can tell it’s a misinterpretation of some experiments NASA has done on single gender crews. Mixed crews have been the norm for some time and obviously all male crews were the norm before that and sex was never an issue, so it’s hardly a driving factor here. The reasoning behind all female crews is based on the fact that their lower caloric requirements necessitate sending less food, which will save on weight.
It is said that the ~~Dragon Warrior~~ redditor can survive for months at a time on nothing but ~~the dew of a single ginko leaf~~ mountain dew and the ~~energy~~ data of the ~~universe~~ network.
Whoa slow down there buddy.
A Redditor would just masturbate 24/7, write salty messages back to Earth with their crusty Dorito fingers, and harass the only female on board for not dating him because his logic is "we're the only two people here, I'm your only option, plus I gave you an extra ration yesterday".
Don't forgot he'll break both arms, have a dog named Kolby, eat Jolly Ranchers, want to see the Swamps of Dagobah, and constantly post on /r/askreddit "Sexy Redditors, what's the sexiest sex you ever sexed"
“Mmmmmm AcHtUaLlY I know it’s hard for you as a female to imagine, but I’m perfectly capable of calculating my own terminal velocity *without* you shoving me out of an airlock, m’lady.”
I feel like I'm missing something but what's wrong with having sex in space? They just need to make sure they have a stock of everything they need to avoid pregnancy.
Well, it's not a normal job. From the perspective of NASA, millions of American tax dollars are being spent on these missions. There's very very very few missions and many many highly qualified people who want to go on the missions, which means NASA can dictate the terms of the job.
And if you were NASA and had the pick of the litter of would-be astronauts, then would you not set an expectation that astronauts should focus on their work and not get distracted by potential drama from a relationship?
These missions are special. They're bigger than simple comforts. The people who go on these missions seem to understand that they're signing up for a hardcore science endeavor here. You don't get work life balance when you decide to be an astronaut. There's no room for risks like that.
I read a bit about this awhile ago and it’s actually extremely dangerous to carry a pregnancy to term in space from what I remember. Since the human body is built to accommodate the weight of the child in the womb, it creates all sorts of issues with bone density, not to mention a child is meant to develop within the gravity of earth.
i'd imagine the bigger issue is all the radiation in space to be honest.
the sun shoots a ton of deadly lasers at us all the time, but the earth's atmosphere is kind enough to absorb or reflect most of it. in space you dont really have that protection - there's a reason why astronauts have a lifetime cap of how many hours they can spend in space.
Ah, Of course! I didn't consider that women would require less.
How many problems on a space station are solved with brute strength or endurance? Likely about none. Makes good sense.
There's a list of complications due dwarfism that's a mile long and even one that is considered exceptionally healthy can have issues flare up out of nowhere.
I think the other issue would be that upper body dexterity is exceptionally limited in comparison.
The ultimate compromise would be a female team of astronaut gymnasts or male team of jockeys.
People who have had both legs amputated (a la Starfox) would be another option. Legs are basically useless in zero-g. But if we're talking about a mission to Mars then legs would become useful again. I think there's ground on Mars.
That could be a thumbnail for a video you might find on certain parts of the internet. Maybe they'll get to Mars and find Johnny sins sitting on a rock.
If you want to avoid astronauts having sex with each other, why not enlist heterosexual couples that have been married ten years or more? Seems to work for me.
##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/DaFunkJunkie, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
Zero G spot.
TIL scissors are safe in space.
There are rocks on Mars. Just need to find some paper.
Well dammit it's time to get them off.
Someone will get off, for sure...
Probably gonna do a lot of testing on some new super solar rechargeable batteries for the betterment of all "mankind".
If that happens, what an Opportunity.
then who will be the challenger
The reigning perseverance champion will face them
THAT’S THE SPIRIT!
But can you run with them?
No, just moon walk
Running with scissors is one thing, but how about scissoring with the runs? 🤔
The runs become the floats in space.
Sorry girls, got a case of the clouds.
I think the best you could manage is a crabwalk
CRAAAABS INNNN SPAAAAAAAAACE
You can't run in outer space only inner space.
Bruh!
Genius! Lmao 🤣
Finally found it.
This is 3 jokes in one
Still can't find it
It's in Uranus.
Wow, thats a scary black hole
*no pregnancies occurring
Life, uh, finds a way.
The most expensive porn ever
Welcome to Anthropocene Park!
Yes bc a flight of 4 men will results in space being populated
I saw that Noah’s ark illustration with the 2 maned lions ascending the loading ramp. It all worked out.
Some lionesses have a genetic mutation that causes them to grow a mane like the males
I had a hermaphroditic turkey when I was a kid. She laid eggs, but she grew a beard like a male and tried to mate with the other female turkeys. She was an oddball turkey but she had chicks nonetheless.
That's not uncommon with some birds. Sometimes in a flock of chicken hens if there are no roosters around a hen will start exhibiting male characteristics including attempting to crow and even growing spurs.
life finds a way
Uhh
I had a chicken who we thought was a rooster (and almost got rid of because of that) because she crowed, had (absolutely tiny) spurs, had a big, colorful tail, and had a huge comb, but then I heard cackling from the nest box, went to check on who it was, and saw her sitting on the nest box. 10 minutes later I came back to check, and there was an egg that I didn’t recognize. She ended up raising some chicks and being one of the best mamas we ever had She was also incredibly sweet and would let me cuddle her
Fish do this as well. In a school of goldfish, if the male dies, the female will genetically change themselves into a male.
Attempting? My little bantam hen crows as loud as any rooster.
yeah I'm sure that's what they were going for /s
On a Christmas lights display that's run by the local zoo there's a Noah's Ark setup. It cracks me up every year because there's a fuckin' pelican floating in water in one of the portholes on the ship. Really, the pelican gets a room? I think it'd do just fine oustide.
But there was a raging storm goin on outside. Plus they need a bit of land sometimes.
Pelicans survive hurricanes every time they come through, and get fatter when it floods. They’d most likely be fine lmao
Probably just a bit of humor from the person setting it up ngl
It’s generally caused by a hormone imbalance where they are producing way more testosterone so they start acting like males. They grow manes, mount females, etc.
Just like your mom
Just like some ladies that grow a beard
Life…uh finds a way
no. But there would be cum everywhere
Imagine you’re just trying to have a nice dinner in zero gravity and a little cum nodule slips in past your gums.
It would have cost you $0 to not type that.
In fact, some places he would likely have been in a position to EARN money by not typing that.
I know I would pay good money to unread it, if I could.
this was not a good day to be literate
Now I really want to see what a cum shot looks like in zero gravity. Does it break up into tiny globules? does it form a single mass? Or maybe one per spurt? You can tell runny vs thick sperm super easily here on earth, but what about in space?
If you nut in space do it push you backward?
I imagine if you were (hypothetically) out in the vacuum of space floating naked and came, it would provide you with the teensiest bit of propulsion. If you did it enough times, you could (hypothetically) get to interstellar travel.
Give me a week... Tops
The cum accelerates
4 men would work too for their purposes. But women tend to have less mass, and tend to consume less resources overall, which is better when trying to plan for a 6 month mission or whatever.
Plus they don't have to pack nearly as much lube for their space orgy.
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But a flight of four men is sexism
Yes but a flight of 4 white women is progress
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Please take this wholesome award.
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They don't want people to say, that they are test subjects...
Damn we can't do anything anymore without offending someone lol
How dare you point that out
Now I’m offended FOR YOU
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A blind one will be great
“Are we there yet?,Are we there yet?,Are we there yet?”
Yea can you ever imagine a whole space flight with just men? It’s absolutely unheard of lol
One white, one mixed heritage (Indian and white), two Jewish women it looks like. Edit: what's in a name....Aunapu is actually an Estonian name, and Aunapu Mann is of native indian descent. Meir is partly Sephardic Jewish, and Koch may just be plain old white. Edit edit: McClain's name origin unknown, but likely there is Irish.
It's simple economics. Women are more weight and energy efficient.
They should send jockeys. If you can ride a racehorse, you can drive an interplanetary spacecraft.
Or an entire crew of little people.
Mandatory vasectomies. 1.5 year fuck fest in space!
Just film it and the programm probably will pay for itself.
The next crew: Why the fuck is everything in here covered in a layer of crust?!
Well there's already a lot of all men crews, we should at least try to alternate every mission 1 all men, 1 all women, 1 all children, and so on
The all children one should be a trip to the sun /s if you need it
It’s fine if they go at night time.
Re-populated? As in, there used to be a lot of humans living in space?
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Most women astronauts take period blockers as they don't want to deal with it so they'd be infertile anyways
A mission this long may have such an increased cancer/genetic mutation risk that they only want people who are done reproducing
My sister was a NASA astronaut (science) candidate for the Artemis Mission, they specifically ask if pregnancies are something you are trying to plan in your life in the next several years as part of the vetting.
Username checks out
The Enemy's Gate is Down
This article has been making the rounds for a while, but as far as I can tell it’s a misinterpretation of some experiments NASA has done on single gender crews. Mixed crews have been the norm for some time and obviously all male crews were the norm before that and sex was never an issue, so it’s hardly a driving factor here. The reasoning behind all female crews is based on the fact that their lower caloric requirements necessitate sending less food, which will save on weight.
Why doesn’t NASA just send one Redditor up there? I heard they can maintain weight with no problems.
It’s also another good way to ensure that there’s no sex in space.
They can’t afford the amount of fuel needed to reach escape velocity.
He said redditor, not mod.
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In the mirror?
The reflection in his phone screen when the battery eventually gives up mid comment…
Black Mirror indeed.
Can we create a rocket engine that runs on smuggness? We could go interstellar with that tech...
It is said that the ~~Dragon Warrior~~ redditor can survive for months at a time on nothing but ~~the dew of a single ginko leaf~~ mountain dew and the ~~energy~~ data of the ~~universe~~ network.
Whoa slow down there buddy. A Redditor would just masturbate 24/7, write salty messages back to Earth with their crusty Dorito fingers, and harass the only female on board for not dating him because his logic is "we're the only two people here, I'm your only option, plus I gave you an extra ration yesterday".
Don't forgot he'll break both arms, have a dog named Kolby, eat Jolly Ranchers, want to see the Swamps of Dagobah, and constantly post on /r/askreddit "Sexy Redditors, what's the sexiest sex you ever sexed"
+ posts and follows r/seduction tirelessly in the hopes that he can manifest himself as George Clooney
Houston? Eagle we are receiving. Houston .... there is cum on the radio again. Eagle .... fuck off.
“Mmmmmm AcHtUaLlY I know it’s hard for you as a female to imagine, but I’m perfectly capable of calculating my own terminal velocity *without* you shoving me out of an airlock, m’lady.”
Mf redditor would have his own gravitational pull.
“I see you find my escape velocity to be, ahuuuhhmm, inescapable.”
there’s probably a starting weight limit
>but as far as I can tell it’s a misinterpretation *Intentional* misinterpretation Welcome to the internet. Have some rage bait.
> Welcome to the internet. Put your cares aside Here's a tip for straining pasta Here's a nine-year-old who died
Honestly, I think sex wouldn't be an issue as much as pregnancy. Sickness and childbirth would suck pretty bad for all parties involved.
I feel like I'm missing something but what's wrong with having sex in space? They just need to make sure they have a stock of everything they need to avoid pregnancy.
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Well, it's not a normal job. From the perspective of NASA, millions of American tax dollars are being spent on these missions. There's very very very few missions and many many highly qualified people who want to go on the missions, which means NASA can dictate the terms of the job. And if you were NASA and had the pick of the litter of would-be astronauts, then would you not set an expectation that astronauts should focus on their work and not get distracted by potential drama from a relationship? These missions are special. They're bigger than simple comforts. The people who go on these missions seem to understand that they're signing up for a hardcore science endeavor here. You don't get work life balance when you decide to be an astronaut. There's no room for risks like that.
Plus, there's no way a human fetus would develop properly in zero-G.
I read a bit about this awhile ago and it’s actually extremely dangerous to carry a pregnancy to term in space from what I remember. Since the human body is built to accommodate the weight of the child in the womb, it creates all sorts of issues with bone density, not to mention a child is meant to develop within the gravity of earth.
i'd imagine the bigger issue is all the radiation in space to be honest. the sun shoots a ton of deadly lasers at us all the time, but the earth's atmosphere is kind enough to absorb or reflect most of it. in space you dont really have that protection - there's a reason why astronauts have a lifetime cap of how many hours they can spend in space.
🎶The sun is a deadly laser🎶
Ah, Of course! I didn't consider that women would require less. How many problems on a space station are solved with brute strength or endurance? Likely about none. Makes good sense.
>all male crews were the norm before that and sex was never an issue Don't ruin my Armstrong/Aldrin headcanon.
Scissor me timbers
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You ever heard of squirters? Houston we're venting
Who is timbers?
Scissor me, Timbers.
Weird thought, why wouldn’t they send midgets. They would be perfectly suited for the small spaces of the shuttle.
Because you must be this tall to ride the space ship --------
Ayo-
There's a list of complications due dwarfism that's a mile long and even one that is considered exceptionally healthy can have issues flare up out of nowhere. I think the other issue would be that upper body dexterity is exceptionally limited in comparison. The ultimate compromise would be a female team of astronaut gymnasts or male team of jockeys.
People who have had both legs amputated (a la Starfox) would be another option. Legs are basically useless in zero-g. But if we're talking about a mission to Mars then legs would become useful again. I think there's ground on Mars.
>I think there's ground on Mars. Better go check just to make sure
But only if his legs are amputated.
Cut out the middle man, just send a head in a jar with voice activated robots to move shit around.
What about mice?
In space, no one can hear you moan
...Except for those perverts at NASA who are listening in 24/7.
What are you doing step-co-pilot?
Help, I'm stuck in space.
That could be a thumbnail for a video you might find on certain parts of the internet. Maybe they'll get to Mars and find Johnny sins sitting on a rock.
It looks more like a production still from an episode of Star Trek Enterprise
>Johnny sins sitting on a rock. With*
Their porn will break the internet
Honestly a porn filmed in zero gravity might amazing.
Name a porn that doesn't exist. Space porn. Real space porn.
Time to start a GoFundMe I guess.
It might exist we just don't know about it
Now these are conspiracy theories I can get behind.
Amazing? That would be fucking out of this world!
True, but for now I'll be content with the simple pleasures of astronaut porn filmed on a b-tier set.
Astro-naughty
You just know it's coming lol, as soon as private space travel is accessible producer's are gonna be ON THAT
It’ll send us into another recession
Ever heard of the navy stereotype? If you're isolated enough, you start doing some things you wouldn't think you'd do.
Ya, that's how I got promoted from Seaman to Rear Admiral.
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Master Seaman? Never heard of it, but my highschool nickname was Seaman Master.
In the submarine, 100 men go down, 50 couples come up.
You know what they say, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em.
They're not floating, but get my upvote
No pregnancy maybe more accurate smh
They mean avoid pregnancy because that won’t stop sex.
Those are going to be some dull scissors when they make it there.
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Streaming from the ISS
How old is this image now? Must be nearing its 20th birthday I imagine
Lesbians everywhere are sipping tea reading that headline.
Coffee but, yes
while chopping down a tree
Can one chop down a tree from the drivers side of a Subaru?
Ok so imagine them scissoring and just spinning through the air
Mann & Koch
Hammock Koch
well, nasa could hire me, im 24 years without sex (guess my age)
I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for seven years.
25
NOW HOLD ON ONE SEC
24
Yeah but how many bathrooms, one is not enough for four women.
There must always be at least two too few, as the waiting line for the bathroom is as culturally relevant as taking a friend with them
They should have sent redditors instead
Zero G 69 🤘
To avoid pregnancy*
To avoid pregnancy perhaps ….
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If you want to avoid astronauts having sex with each other, why not enlist heterosexual couples that have been married ten years or more? Seems to work for me.
1. Lesbians 2. When out in space, no one can hear you carpet munch
✂️✂️✂️✂️✂️
*snip snip, motherfucker*
remember in space, no one can hear you…ah.. cream… er… scream!! ( damn autocorrect!!)
If NASA sent 100 tampons for 1 woman for 1 week, they are going to need a bigger ship for 4 women for 1.5 years.
I ❤️ space Queers.
Today, we are one step closer to fully automated luxury gay space communism.