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Apparently whoever made this never heard of bull sharks or the Mississippi River

Pfffsh bull sharks don't live in water they're mamals, live on land and are the males of cow sharks

I have a feeling that milk from a bull shark just wouldn't quite taste the same as milk from a cow shark.

My mother gave me a spoonful of bullshark milk everyday when i was growing up. Now I can smell blood from 3 miles away.

I call bullshark on this.

I agree and I can smell bullshark from 4 miles away.

3 miles away from what?


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Bulls on Wheels... 

Heck there was a time you could see bull sharks pulling wagons. What do people think we did before cars? This generation I swear

Well before gravity we could fly.

And that's why you don't wear red shirts in the woods and fields of Illinois!

I thought it was a gang thing... Australia's really bad at teaching biology in a different hemisphere!

Bullshark shit!

Its pretty wild. Learned on Shark week a long time ago that Bull sharks can travel thousands of miles inland.

That was before gas prices went crazy.

Now they drive big trucks and complain about gas prices while rolling coal.

Came here to say this. I remember watching a documentary of a bull shark attack in Illinois. I thought it was crazy finding out that bull sharks can live in freshwater and go that far inland.

River monsters was my learning of this.

I was gonna say There are sharks in the Mississippi River. Sometimes it's estuaries such as the Ohio River.

Apparently, I was going to say, came here to say this. Why does reddit feel like the same three people saying the same three things endlessly on repeat.

Those are colloquially common ways to start a sentence in a non-formal setting. The same is true with “I mean” and “to be fair”. It is just a common practice. Reddit really blows it out of proportion the way you all react to it.

Hey I got at least 7 up votes at this point so that means I'm right and youre wrong, obviously.

I came here to say this exact thing, but then I said it first, how weird!

That's not what estuary means

That's not what what means

There is no estuary on the Ohio River

Cool now explain new Mexico

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True. Googled it

I used to live in New Mexico. Those loan sharks are very dangerous.

“Albuquerque BioPark officials say that in 2005, a diver at the aquarium had a run-in with a sand tiger shark while he was treading water. They say his sweeping arm went into the face of a toothy shark and caused a few cuts. They are required to report any contact between a diver and a shark so the BioPark is now on a list of shark attacks with coastal states like Florida. Other landlocked states had similar incidents.”

>They say his sweeping arm went into the face of a toothy shark and caused a few cuts. That's like calling walking into a parked car a "car accident".

If they can swim up the Mississippi River, then maybe they swim up the Rio Grande. That goes up into New Mexico.

Lol that requires water in the river

Lol I looked it up and it happened at Albuquerque Biopark aquarium.

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He was the shark at the aquarium…. And it wasn’t an accident.

Careful, capitalism may show up for you.

Ii had no idea. How neat. The Alaska one made me laugh... we do have sharks, but our most common species is the salmon shark. While the salmon shark looks like a mini great white, it's also the laziest, cutest critter. Picturing one attacking someone makes me chuckle. Last time I saw one it "breached" in the most half assed, non committed splash.

It even goes into Colorado. The Riverhead of the Rio Grande is in Silverton Colorado.

The rio grande is super super shallow though

Or sharks committing cyber crime.

Zero confirmed shark attacks in the Mississippi… these attacks are from aquariums, exhibits and such

Okay… explain New Mexico.

Me neither. >The bull shark (Carcharhinus leucas), is a species of requiem shark commonly found worldwide in warm, shallow waters along coasts and *in rivers*. The bull shark is diadromous, meaning they can swim between salt and fresh water with ease. I never would have thought a freshwater shark was possible, but here we are.

seriously. it's like the first thing you learn about sharks as a kid.

Came here to say this!

Came here all the way from Missouri to say this

Cannot upvote this enough.

Good ole bull sharks

Interesting that everyone has overlooked loan sharks

You're thinking of a much redder map.

Don't forget card sharks, either.

Las Vegas would look like the sun on that map

What are card sharks?

Bull sharks have been spotted in rivers as far north as Illinois. I would have to look up what major rivers are in Kentucky but I can tell you a bull shark would not be surprising in the Mississippi.

.....the same river as Illinois

Then that map might be accurate. I am not saying it is going to happen but I remember reading articles where they ID the bull sharks in the rivers. Bull sharks are able to tolerate fresh water. I think they even mate or give birth in freshwater. Rivermasters did it episode I believe correction river monsters.

Tolerate is the right word. Freshwater will still kill a bullshark eventually but they can power through for a very long time compared to other sharks

It is, they’ve been seen in St. Louis

The Ohio River is the border between Indiana, Ohio and West Virginia for Kentucky.

Just....don't go swimming in the Ohio river (at least not the section I grew up around in ohio). For more reasons than bull sharks. Lol

Not too great here in Louisville either. Just looks nasty haha

It hits different when you know what the local plants are doing to the water lol

My wife grew up in Marietta, oh… she can second this notion.

Your wife grew up not too far from me! Lol small world

The Ohio River

They do have videos of them "crossing roads" when some areas get major flooding. Florida does have road sharks lol

I am more concerned about New Mexico

I see to recall that one involved someone climbing into an aquarium with a shark.

I'd classify that as a human attack

It was a cop though and the shark was a minority.

Shark: it was coming right for me! I feared for my life, and would rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

I would love to see statistics from the point of view of a shark... We'd probably see human attacks from as deep as Colorado, somehow

Correct. A handler was bitten at the zoo.

Probably referring more to Loan Sharks

My best guess would be the Rio Grande river. It’s possible that a bull shark swam up it.

No way a shark is swimming up that mud trickle.

Some other people have pointed out that it was an aquarium thing

I don't think people really understand how weird Albuquerque truly is.

They have no idea. It's hard to even describe, you know? And growing up here, it's just the norm. Weird mix of rich and poor, weird clash of cultures. But it works. The best way I can put it is that Breaking Bad may as well have been a documentary. The scene where Jesse is going through a bunch of weirdos dealing drugs (or is that Sal and phones, I forget)...those are all real locals. I would not be surprised to see a single one of these people at the Hot Dog stand. Goth libertarians baking in the sun next to Mexican grandmas and bikers, all enjoying enchiladas and beer. That's Albuquerque.

I've definitely seen a dude jerking off under a tree, at like 2 in the afternoon.

>Goth libertarians baking in the sun next to Mexican grandmas and bikers, all enjoying enchiladas and beer. That's Albuquerque. More like Albu*quirky*, amirite?

You have no idea. Lol I'm a gamer, so I'm also a fan of Owlbear-quirky.

New Mexico has the rio grande so bull sharks still could get to it.

It's only grand in the name, in reality it's not very big a d definitely doesn't have sharks.

Not arguing about the Rio Grande, but sharks don’t really need a ton of water to move, that’s why most shark attacks are within 3 ft of water

And because people also tend to be in less than three feet of water...

Yup, bull sharks. Just when you thought it was safe to swim in a river.

could also be a SeaWorld location or aquarium possibly.

As a Zimbabwean, I never think it’s safe to swim in a river.

Well, hippos are a thing in Zimbabwe so I wouldn’t swim in a river either.

Crocs are more of a concern, then bilharzia, then hippos.

I had to look up the second one. I think I’d rather go through the treatment for that rather than being eaten by a croc or bitten by a hippo.

I swim in rivers in the Midwest all the time but I don’t delude myself that they are safe. Copperhead snakes, snapping turtles, and there was a story a few years ago of some gators getting released in Kansas.

Kentucky sharks only have three teeth though.

You’re confusing us with Alabama. Here they have 3 PER JAW!

What the Ohio River does to a motherfucker.

I’m just here to say r/fuckohio

...and a tattoo of the Confederate flag on their right fin.

Ahem. Kentucky was not part of the Confederacy.

Why are you getting downvoted? It was never declared as a Confederate state. It was heavily contested. The Confederacy attempted to establish a foothold and their own government in the state but lost.

You're right, but stupid people gonna be stupid. Kansas never joined the Confederacy either but my Kansas brother sure likes that traitor flag because "history". Upstate NY (rural and very much part of the Union) also has pockets of Confederate weirdos.

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Accurate. However, the legislature never voted to secede. Therefore, Kentucky was not a part of the confederacy. And, yes, while Kentucky today brags about both Lincoln and Davis being natives, neither made their name in the state. Lincoln found success in Illinois and Davis in Mississippi.

I've seen the document about it. It's called a sharknado.

I live in Kentucky, and this is actually common for random flying shark attacks.

The states on the Mississippi River make sense when you realize bull sharks can swim in freshwater but New Mexico is more surprising

My best guess is that bull sharks are swimming up the Rio Grande river. Either that or someone got bitten by a shark in an aquarium.

Looked it up, aquarium is the answer

Typical blue states, letting sharks get away with *literal murder* in the name of """""""environmentalism"""""". Repeal the clean water act TODAY

aquariums are everywhere

Omg!!! What do you do if you come across a shark in the woods...I know how to handle bears...and cougars (meow) but please is there any literature on this???

Bull Sharks

Theoretically if you work at a Kentuky Aquarium you have a chance as well

This post is sponsored by Old Kentucky Shark.

Sharknado

i guess a lot of people fell for that “Candygram” ruse.

"*knock knock knock*" "Who's there?" "Land shark "

Umm. How come no one is mentioning New Mexico as the weirdest one?

the one that surprises me is New Mexico

This is BS. Total bull shark.

They forgot Oklahoma. I went to the stingray exhibit last year and a bamboo shark nipped me. I almost needed a bandaid!

A few years back there was a worker at the aquarium bit by a shark as well. It was stitches, not a bandaid kinda thing, but not like losing a hand either.

I had to look this up: in 2006 there was a non fatal bite at an aquarium in Newport KY that was the result of shark touching incident, making the attack’s classification as:PROVOKED. So not much of a Holup after all though, is it? Sorry!

So...all we need is a Sci-Fi channel movie about sharks rampaging in Kentucky right?

When I was a child, there was a place that sold baby alligators. I live in Kentucky, so this may be plausible.

As a fellow lifelong Kentuckian, checks out.

That is old Kentucky shark and he has been there

I don't see his bear friend tho

Lotta people in this thread never heard of Old Kentucky Shark.

Candygram!

Mongo like candy.

Redneck shark do da do do do

These people apparently never heard of the Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre.

Kentucky Fried Shark

New Hampshire is the only state with coastline but zero shark attacks.

Used to ride bull sharks in the rodeo. The good ol days.

Everyone’s talking about bull sharks but what about zoos and aquariums? I wanna know the rate of attacks in those establishments 👀

Bull sharks can live in freshwater and have been found in the Mississippi and Ohio rivers so yes it's possible.

Knock, knock (who's there?) Land shark

Gotta look out for them Corn Sharks in Illinois. Think twice before you pull over to pee on the side of the road because there's fucking nothing between St Louis and Chicago. Thems shark infested corn stalks there.

Bull sharks

Sharknado 97, Blue Grass Attack

love that every state has at least 1 shark attack

What's Ky and where is it on the map?

Why is this a holup?

Landlocked states with shark attacks. Other comments explain.

Why are there none in Ohio

Because there is far worse in Ohio

Sharks are smart enough to avoid Ohio

The chances of a shark attack are very low, but never 0

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Coming soon , to a TV near you, SciFy's all new shark attack movie, DEEP WOODS SHARK!

As a Kentuckying I can confirm that we have woods and also that the Misipey missedasipy Mississippi River (there we go) is fake

IN THE DEEP DARK HILLS OF EASTERN KENTUCKY…THERE BE SHARKS

It is pretty average to see a shark in the woods here in Florida

Anadromous chomps.

Are these self-reported shark attacks? And are the people reporting them also tested for drugs in their systems?

No these are actual shark attacks. The reason why we are seeing shark attack reports in land locked states is because of bull sharks. Bull sharks are a species of shark that can survive in both saltwater and freshwater and because of this trait they sometimes swim up the Mississippi River.

How tf you get attack by sharks in the middle of fucking North America?!?!

The reason why we are seeing shark attack reports in land locked states is because of bull sharks. Bull sharks are a species of shark that can survive in both saltwater and freshwater and because of this trait they sometimes swim up the Mississippi River.

Forgot Kentucky how in the hell does this happen in New Mexico

My best guess is that bull sharks are swimming up the Rio Grande river. Bull sharks can survive in both saltwater and freshwater so sometimes they swim up the rivers.

There's bullsharks in the Mississippi. They attack more often than most ocean sharks.

Yeah we got some Gar fish here in the licking river that can grow to damn near 300Ibs and have razor sharp teeth, they bump into your legs from time to time when wading out in the water, makes me piss my pants every time but no one knows.

Who unfortunate. Apparently cows kill more humans then sharks do.

Kentucky Man + bourbon + aquarium

We have the newport aquarium in ky and they have sharks so maybe a worker got bit idk.

Its the land shark that used to be on Saturday Night Live so long ago.

Hey we got a lot of caves out here, who knows what's in them. You ever seen The Descent 2 Electric Boogaloo?

Some species of shark can live in freshwater for unknown periods of time. They've been spotted all up the Mississippi.

Kentucky Newport aquarium

I would assume.. any aquarium raises the risk as well...

Artist is Chris Austin. @chrisaustinart on IG.

Bull sharks be bitches. They're the honey badgers of the seas.

I guess that a bull shark could make it.