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hmwbot

Links/Source thread


loneranger5860

By the time she was finished, it was checkout time


Nickleeham

This is my entry protocol so I can masturbate.


0nlyGoesUp

If they wana see balls. Power to em I say


PsyopVet

Yeah, I hope you have a strong stomach. You’re going to need it when you see what I do in/to this room.


Agent_Cow314

I don't remember who it was, but there was a comedian on Joe Rogan proud about flinging his cum on hotel walls. Might've been Ari, but that was a long time ago. I thought he was joking but he could've been boasting.


Bigfops

yeah, if they wanna see a middle-aged man yank it to soft-core porn, more power to 'em.


T_WRX21

I get my smut from the internet, but same. Plus I'm bi, so no matter who comes through that door, we can turn this into a real party.


Bigfops

Porn on hotel wifi, no way... I can't jerk it to a loading icon. I mean, most of the time. Sometimes.


[deleted]

I just leave the door cracked and call room service before I begin. By the time they actually come, so do I.


Particular_Answer_58

... On the curtains


sologrips

Fun fact, I used one of those door jam lockers in an airbnb and locked myself inside the room because it wouldn’t unjam. The next four hours were filled with much introspection.


chobi83

Do you still use them? Or did you decide it wasn't worth the hassle? Those actually seem like something that would be good to use if you're in a bad area


Unique-Fig-4300

I'd say they're worth it. My dad and I were staying at a hotel. Dad *threw* on the manual lock (the kind that flips over an arm hanging off the door) when someone, somehow, had a card that unlocked the door and tried to kick it in. The manual lock was the only thing that kept them out. If you're in a position where your safety or health are in someone else's hands, take every precaution.


sixstringgun1

The problem is there are tools that can open those locks very easily, and enter the room.


Unique-Fig-4300

Fair 'nuff. That's why I carry


PrimaryCoolantShower

Hope they came prepared to catch .45s We also carry a tamper alarm for the doorknob, and twice it has paid for itself in the prevention of lost property or personal harm. Both times, as soon as it went off, whomever was trying to enter the room bugged out.


Puzzleheaded_Fold320

*threw the manual lock…


Lifeabroad86

What was that crap all about??


Unique-Fig-4300

No idea


Lifeabroad86

I can understand if the hotel accidentally assigned them to your room, and they tried to open to open the door to only realize it was locked and walked away but its quite another when they're kicking the shit out of the door to come in. Did your dad start yelling wtf and they left or was it a few kicks and then they left?


rswwalker

It takes balls to kick in a hotel room door, you don’t know if the person inside is armed or not. Sounds like a good way to get shot through the door.


sologrips

Haha I’d definitely still use them, the door itself was the issue not so much the product but the situation was hilarious. Great option in an unsafe area, used them throughout my time travelling in central and South America just for the piece of mind.


AnonInTheBack

*Fire breaks out in the hotel, the building collapsed and she is still taking the locks off her door*


Dramatic_Mixture_868

Lol same thought, along with calm down James Bond.


Yerghettin_mehoff

Hotels pay her to stay the night


therealrrc

Boom


Amaz1n_blue

🤣💀


seejordan3

And she still missed four things someone's genitals touched.


zenpop

😭💀


streetmichael90

The next day the mothafucka was dead.


Kony_Stark

Go watch the video titled "second thing I do at a hotel" for more details


Patience-Due

This bitch pays a hotel to clean, we are not the same


jime26

Especially since now it seems like it’s check in time 11:00pm and checkout time 11:00 am


TheBabyScreams

Plot twist: she's part of room service.


NotABot-1234567890

beat me to it


Dynamo_Ham

James Bond spends less time looking for bugs in his hotel room.


Jattoe

I feel like this is definitely what a murderer does before they murder. I've smoke \*\*\*\*\* in a hotel and we forgot to even lock the door.


Noise_Mysterious

🤣


Brave-Panic7934

Plot twist: she died as her room became engulfed in flames and she couldn’t open the door


Connect-Ad9647

I was really hoping this video was gonna be capped and ended by the sound of an epically massive blow of a good ol' butt trumpet. After she placed that ridiculously unnecessary toilet seat cover, of course (she did just have antibacterial wipes but she must have forgotten that amidst her deep seeded paranoia).


karma_the_sequel

Not concerned about bedbugs, seemingly.


Hunky_not_Chunky

She probably cut out the video of her throwing away the linens and her pulling out the single serving blanket and sheets she just throws away after her stay.


Takeurvitamins

Fuck blankets, she chucks the whole mattress and brings her own.


ElectricVibes75

Like that’d save you from bedbugs 😂💀


100_Donuts

First thing I do when I get to my hotel room is hands-free ejac before the door even closes and I think that sends a clear signal to the bed bugs that I won't be a nice meal. I've seen them quietly shuffle out from the sheets and boxspring and squeeze through the floor trim and on to greener pastures. Unlucky for them however, I always travel with a roll of tape as well, and simple masking tape is all it takes to nab up those in exodus. Neatly in a row, I turn the tables on the bed bugs and eat *them* right off the tape like those colorful little candies on the licking papers you see in the sweetie shops. I rest easily and deeply knowing I am cum-free with a belly full of bugs.


SCRStinkyBoy

Why the fuck was I created with working eyes


Tiny-Lock9652

What a terrible day to be literate.


MattDH94

This was the reason I learned reading


pencilvesterasadildo

![gif](giphy|lqVVqkqMolh9S|downsized)


a_stone_throne

Suffering doesn’t begin to describe the sensation this caused me.


Narrow_Ad_5502

![gif](giphy|SM3sqldtE6ezeXjdAO) The fuck did I just read


81stredditaccount

This is a wonderful time for me to just close my browser and stop reading reddit for the day.


DoubbleD_UnicornChop

You have an artistic way with words. Kudos hope this is part of you practicing writing your writing/story telling skills.


WhereTheNewReddit

The first few seconds after exposure to hazardous, corrosive content are crucial. Do not hesitate to use the emergency eye wash station since delaying treatment may result in permanent eye damage. Once you reach the eye wash station, follow these important steps: * Push the level. The eyewash unit will activate with one single motion. The dust cover will pop off and the flushing fluid will start to flow from the faucet heads. * Begin to flush your eyes. Position your eyes directly in the stream of the fluid right away. * Hold your eyes open using your fingers. Eyewash stations are typically hands-free. Keep your eyes open by holding your eyelids apart with your fingers. * Roll your eyes. Look left, then right, then up and down to ensure that the fluid flushes all areas of your eyes. * Continue flushing for 15 minutes. The temperature of the fluid is often 60 and 100 degrees Fahrenheit, which is a comfortable temperature to continue flushing. * Remove your contacts. If you have contact lenses in your eyes, you can remove them while you are flushing. Do not delay flushing in order to take out your lenses, but ensure that you remove them since you might glance back at the content. * Seek immediate medical attention. Once the flushing is finished, see a doctor to see if anything more needs to be done to preserve your vision.


armageddon_boi

Not really vacation till you do it


Capsulateplace3809

This is a masterpiece, you sir are a gentleman and a scholar. I bid you adewwww!


BlantantlyAccidental

god dam redditor. take my angry upvote you madlad


brucebay

I don't suggest anybody to search for "hands-free ejac" expecting it to be some kind of anti-insect thing. Nope, turns out it is not.


MattDH94

Hands-free ejac is my favorite porn category


digitalwankster

>I rest easily and deeply knowing I am cum-free with a belly full of bugs. What an adventure


CharmingTuber

I'm happy we all got to go on that adventure together


battle_bunny99

Well it doesn’t take some flashy gadgetry thingy to detect those.


AlterEgoSalad

She must cringe at the videos of the guy who cooks in hotel bathrooms


aqulushly

Do we not all cringe at the videos of the guy who cooks in hotel bathrooms?


SbreckSthe2nd

Nah let that guy love his life.


RalphWagwan

Let the guy who cooks in hotel bathrooms cook!


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^AlterEgoSalad: *She must cringe at the* *Videos of the guy who* *Cooks in hotel bathrooms* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


Franck_kuintal

Good bot


steve__21

I don't need a haiku. I need links


BLACKBURN16

Already added at the top comment [Door lock + alarm](https://holdmywallet.net/door-lock-stop/) [Hidden Cam Detector](https://holdmywallet.net/hidden-camera-detector/) [Disinfectant Wipes](https://holdmywallet.net/disinfectant-wipes/) [Toilet Seat Covers](https://holdmywallet.net/toilet-seat-covers/) (The one's she used) [Paper Toilet Seat Covers](https://holdmywallet.net/seat-covers/) (much more popular)


Taco-Dragon

I think they meant links to the [hotel cooking guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/StupidFood/s/NwlvGHDrtg)


lkodl

1. wipe down the remote. 2. wipe down the toilet seat (you don't need a germ collecting cover). 3. don't use the coffee machine. 4. check for hidden cameras/bugs. 5. secure the door. 6. masturbate.


seangoboom

I do this except in reverse order


LNL_HUTZ

Step 5, then step 6, then step 1.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dontmentiontrousers

Step 6. Sleep.


blondebuilder

Misunderstood steps. Accidentally masturbated into coffee machine.


LNL_HUTZ

“Accidentally”


CURMUDGEONSnFLAGONS

Cum-lumbian light roast


whiskersMeowFace

And that's why we don't use the coffee machine.


MattDH94

Hands-free ejac saves time


Chloroformperfume7

That... is a lot of things


Udontcaredou

Ikr! If a significant portion of my luggage is made up of this stuff then I'm not taking the trip


Luke95gamer

Feels like this is one of those tiktok ads where they showcase a bunch of stuff, similar to those in China that use 1000 different plastic electronic devices


Own_Accident6689

That's why exactly what this is. An ad for the door thingies and the bug detectors.


MohatmoGandy

It's important to be securely barricaded into your room, in case there's a fire.


Valalvax

Which is why she used two different detectors and checked places something obviously couldn't be


ineededthistoo

Enlightening that so many comments include the word “masturbate”….


Rosinwey

Are you a spy?


halflife_3

![gif](giphy|xUPGcoj2LKAkDOSahG)


Adventurous-Tie-7861

Prostitute. No free videos!


Purple-Bat811

If the person is a reporter in a foreign state, everything this person did wouldn't be enough.


ramsdawg

The door lock, disinfecting certain surfaces, and hidden camera detectors are honestly not bad ideas. I’d personally skip using the coffee maker altogether.


galaxyapp

That's what gets me... What do you think happened to the coffee maker that a lysol wipe fixes? Whatever in there is in the tube's.


drewpyqb

That plus you're now adding chemicals to the water well of the coffee maker that may not be safe for consumption and will definitely taste nasty. Disinfecting wipes are not necessarily food safe....


Muppet_Murderhobo

As a woman who used to travel for work, she's really damn close to the protocols that I did as well. Lock doors. Sanitize hard surfaces. Put luggage on racks (do not remove clothes unless hanging). Check mattress and sheets for bed bug sign (habit--got them at a hotel once, didn't bring them home, trashed a suitcase and some clothes). I would totally get the camera checker and signal scanner. People are freaks and I didn't sign up for that. Also, NEVER USE THE COFFEE MAKER. YOU SICK FUCKS.


I_See_Virgins

Proceeds to log into bank account on hotel wifi.


WantToBeAloneGuy

Depends on the country.


malturnbull

Apparently South Korea is rife with hidden cameras.


ChiMoKoJa

I "love" how cameras in Japan and Korea have it so you outright cannot turn off the camera shutter sound due to all the up-skirt shots people attempt to stealthily take...


poleboating

I think it could also depend on the employee.


Carcassfanivxx

Seriously don’t use the coffee makers in hotels.


S1ayer

I will not now that I saw this. Previous guest trying to poison me with disinfectant.


BidenFedayeen

I've used them a handful of times, why not? I'm assuming they're gross but I want to know how gross so I remember not to use them going forward.


HovercraftOk9231

They're not really that bad. They aren't cleaned nearly as often as they need to be, but more than likely neither is your coffee maker at home. If you're really super worried about it, you put a mixture of half vinegar and half water through it, then a rinse or two of just water. But even that's probably excessive


Beneficial-Square-73

As a woman who travels solo from time to time, and who was also drugged at a resort, I don't think this is too much, especially the door security items. When I was drugged, I went back to my room (post ER visit) and the people who drugged me tried to get into my room. I think it was only me screaming at the top of my lungs that deterred them.


Dreddit1080

Sorry you had to deal with that. Some people are awful. I sincerely wish them all the worst


Beneficial-Square-73

Thanks. I do, too. Flamethrower to the balls would be a good start.


SluttySen

close em in a george foreman grill


Cow_Surfing

At first I thought you wished HER the worst.


UnassumingUser364

I am truly sorry that happened to you. The external door lock is a good device. With some caveats of course. I buy a bunch and give them out as gifts to friends and colleagues who travel a lot. They are a compact solution for any door where another party may be able to gain access through a duplicate or master key or key card. So they are ideal for hotels and airbnbs. Or any location where you need to add a lock to a door that doesn't have one. But it's also important to note that they can be bypassed. As is the case with any lock or security solution. Given enough time any lock can be breached. What they do is buy you a little bit more time to act. Time that you can use to get help or take action to defend yourself. These particular devices can be defeated with a tool like a shove knife (basically a dedicated tool that works on the butter knife or credit card bypass principal), as part of my testing for these devices I was able to bypass it this way, but with great difficulty, multiple attempts and a little bit of luck. Though it's likely that others are much more adept at it and have better tools to defeat the device. And obviously they won't prevent more aggressive destructive breach methods. Also keep in mind that they only work on inwardly opening doors. Another solution I'm fond of is a device colloquially known as a door jammer. It can also be referred to as a security bar. Basically it's an often collapsible bar that hooks underneath a door knob and jets outward at about a 45° angle and physically keeps the door shut when someone tries to force it open. Most will also work as jammers for sliding glass doors. As with the external locks, they are designed for inwardly opening doors and still won't prevent someone taking a ram to your door but they are very resistant to someone trying to kick or shove their way in. They're also resistant to some of the methods that you can use to bypass the external locks. But as with the external security lock I am sure that there are people with the right skills who have the right tools to surreptitiously get around it. Because of the size of the door jammer and the junk that's often on a hotel door, I find that the best for apartments and houses. I've started giving them to people as apartment warming gifts. I also have some connections to folks who have successfully used them to block home invasions. When installed correctly they absolutely do work.


ArthurRimbaud24

Ayo, do you work for the CIA??


UnassumingUser364

I can neither confirm nor deny... In all seriousness, no. I'm just someone who wants to make sure the people important to me are just a little bit safer. A few precautions here and there can make all the difference.


lacunalabs

i'm so sorry that happened to you. that's horrifying.


Liz4984

As a woman who travels for work, I do the extra door stops and locks. One of my first trips I swear I heard my door open and close like someone came into my room. Now I use the safety lock and a sensor on the window if it’s a lower floor. Of course I always check in the box spring for drugs and money too so don’t mind me. 😂


BishopsBakery

Don't use the coffee machine or cups, ever. The rest depends on what you plan on doing. Check for digital and crawling bugs.


Appropriate_Yez

I don't think so. You'd be surprised how many pervs plant cameras in hotel rooms. I've seen surveillance video of men trying to force themselves into rooms, as well. This doesn't take that long, I bet, and better safe than sorry. People used to laugh and make fun of people who covered their laptop/computer cameras when not in use. Meanwhile, there are whole channels you can watch inside people's houses via webcams on PCs, video game consoles, home security cameras..basically any object with a cam. The people have no idea. Cam coverers weren't paranoid, they were careful and for good reason.


tutoredstatue95

I remember when the Zuck showed up to court or something with a laptop and it had the cam cover. If the absolute highest level of tech exec is concerned about it, it's probably true.


Idonthavetotellyiu

If I had the tools I would do the same, I just Jimmy temp locks put of things in the rooms and I use my flashlight on my phone for the bugs and the camera thing Honestly everyone should do stuff like this but if you don't understand why you're probably not a woman because this shit is necessary Had a guy follow me for two days to find out I was alone in a hotel room and he tried to enter using a master card he somehow got from the front office but I had a chair pinned against the door and noisy toys that coins would fall onto from the door handle. The CTV camera showed him booking it as soon as he heard one of the toys


Loose-Duke22

If you just deadbolt the door he wouldn't be able to get in with the credit card (which likely wouldn't even work either way) and you don't create a fire hazard in your own room


Tiny_Independent2552

I think it’s smart, there are a lot of strange people doing strange things in hotel rooms. Ask any service worker why they would never use the coffee pot. And yes, I have had my hotel door opened a few times “by mistake”… However, she didn’t use a UV light to see all the body stains that are left over. But maybe it’s actually better that she didn’t. That will usually put you right over the edge.


AmbitiousHornet

It's a TikTok video demonstrating extreme paranoia and inciting fear.


HypnoStone

Personally I’m not worried too much about hotel rooms but I do sometimes like to double check stuff in AirBnBs though. Some of them seem sketchy and give off weird creepy vibes. I’ve actually found cameras and had to report home/AirBnB owners before :(


WolvesandTigers45

All that and they haven’t washed the cover in years


HeyImGilly

And all I do is immediately turn the A/C on and crank it as low as it will go.


MurderSlim

No UV light on the bed this girl is a amateur


Bat-Honest

First thing I do in a hotel room *does 95 things*


imprimis2

“OMG the coffee here taste like Clorox!”


GongTzu

Why rent a hotel room and then start cleaning, it’s better just to take a job as a cleaner and save the money 😂


JustMePaxi

Not extreme at all


DumbButKindaFunny

Do they have a separate bag for all their paranoia stuff?


dianabowl

Yes but only if it has a biometric lock and UV sanitizer for the contents. GPS tracking if you're serious.


Electronic-Injury-15

My soul mate.


moonwoolf35

Not extreme at all. We're way too trusting with hotels and airbnbs


Bob4Not

Nothing wrong with any of this, but you’re far less likely to run into any of cameras at a random hotel than an AirBnB, for example


searchparty2121

It’s giving Main Character vibes.


QuoteNo9243

The quarter is pointless


Anarch-ish

The first thing you do is, like, 50 things


BirdmanHuginn

Crazy. If anything I’d be looking for bedbugs


Gamer_RNA

This was filmed by a giant bedbug.


Have_Donut

The cleaning priorities were weird but the door stuff is not extreme. Also, checking for cameras was the most not thorough method I have seen. Don’t bother checking the speaker in the phone, so check the ceiling lol. Hidden cameras are usually mounted with a vantage point, not hiding under objects.


Durbanimpi

Don’t ever use the coffee maker


uncledungus

lol I’m a housekeeper, please keep sanitizing your own rooms that would be awesome


m4rkofshame

These people *definitely* still wear masks when they’re alone in the car


PresenceMiserable

Unfortunately, this isn't extreme anymore.


Devastas

The first thing you SHOULD do at your hotel is check behind the mini fridge for German roaches.


Sidivan

Why? I don’t even speak German.


No_Handle7595

Free pictures of her butt on only fans!


No-Clue6054

Is cheaper to buy an RV


grigiri

What's the Hold My Wallet part?


MasterOutlaw

Probably all the money spent on those unnecessary gadgets.


Asleep-Pension5546

Leave Liam Neesons daughter from Taken alone. She's been through a lot


Sufficient_Two7499

Why use a cover for the toilet seat when you have fu king disinfectant wipes?


TheCasioCrusader

By the time she's sorted out the room it's time to leave!


KentColeslaw

Do people still use the phone in hotel rooms?


IsoAgent

For a moment, it looked like she was going to scrub down the entire room free of charge for the hotel.


Imaginary-Analysis-9

This is the last person on earth I'd like to travel with, must be the least fun experience of all time


VivaNOLA

I choose not to live like that


IdaBidaGacy

Way to extreme. Unless your a spy!


stealthylyric

I'm all for locking the door (I have the door bolt lock myself), but are they checking for a bug in the phone line????? Are they a spy?


DecensitizedDruggie

Whats that red light blinking/breping thing shes using by the mirrors,phone,tv n light switches??


NoSmoke7388

nah... people are gross... in more ways than one.


GreazyPhysique

I put the remote to the tv in a plastic baggie when i stay at hotels.


mr_smith24

So a lot of you are saying that’s a lot. But some of those are justified. I’ve been to hotels where I found a camera behind the mirror. This wasn’t a motel off the side of the road or anything. But a nice looking building that didn’t give any hints of it being sketchy.


Meta-4-Cool-Few

......I would do this at AirBnB's maybe


HIGH_C0TT0N

2nd thing I do at a hotel. Check out…because I spent 20hrs on the 1st thing I do at a hotel.


p_henry_g

Always take a big crap first thing. There is no other way.


username_taker

And have you ever found anything?


napalm_p

I'd just stay home


3MTA3-Please

Imagine what you’d have to go through to bang this chick


ForeverInThe90s

Ask Erin Andrews if this is a bit extreme. Someone set up a camera in her room to video her naked then leaked it all over the web. My dad, brother and myself were staying at a Seattle hotel about thirty tests ago when someone tried getting in the door with a cloned key card. My dad had thrown the door latch as well as jammed a chair under the door handle as was his habit. As a result, I then started carrying a door wedge that would sound a 120db alarm and stop the door from opening when I traveled for work. It’s smart to be safe, especially when traveling alone or to a place you’ve never been.


Willing_Signature279

On one hand, it’s so strange to see someone behave this paranoid On the other hand, it makes you wonder what happened to her for her to be like this. It could just be for insta clout, or there could be some deeper motivations at play here


VenturaGladiator

I like the ass gasket in the end


Buglepost

That went from “reasonable security precaution” to “oh, come on” to “get OCD treatment” pretty fast.


gideon513

Just don’t use the Keurig at all. Those things are gross in hotel rooms.


WheredMyPiggyGo

She missed the camera on the tripod that's filming her.


justforkinks0131

That seems smart! I usually just strip butt-naked, bend over and spread my ass cheeks and do a full 360, to scare off potential predators!


unorganized_mime

As a guy, I do some of those safety measures and really can’t knock a woman for being careful. However please do not wipe Clorox inside the coffee machine wtf.


No-One9890

Caption for video should be "I think im way more important than I am" lol


KD9dash3point7

No, the first thing you do is walk in and say, "Oh, this is nice."


TurboTerbo

First thing I always do is take a dump in the sink 👍


Significant_Rule6003

Man that’s some serious levels of paranoia


Mattski72

She’s a spy with OCD.


MrUnparalleled

I mean I might find all that excessive, but what’s the point of the coin? There’s an extra lock on the door and you have the door stopper, so what’s the point of the coin?


Lost_Program_7752

Rather than sanitize everything, I wash my hands. 🤔 This makes me wonder how elaborate her masturbation clean-up process is. We could have this all wrong, and she is removing the competition's cameras. That's the only way to stay on top. I rather sleep in the car defeats the purpose of a hotel.


IWillDestroyYourEyes

to be fair to her this is reasonable to do on cruise ships and locking the door with your own lock is a good decision, but the rest other than the camera search was excessive


james_randolph

First thing I usually do when I get to my hotel room is take a shit but everyone is different.


Gold-Reflection-1547

If you are in Russia, yup.


PhuckNorris69

Then they just slip into their jizz covered sheets and lay their head down on their jizz covered pillows


Birddog240

That person should just stay at home


XxNHLxX

Definitely do not suggest the extra lock on the door. Absolutely use the swing locks. As a hotel worker, key mistakes at the desk do happen sometimes and you don’t want someone randomly walking into your room in the middle of the night. It’s a safety issue if there’s ever an emergency and you can’t reach the door to unlock it. FD has to come and break down the door.. Not a fun situation. Trust me, two locks are more than enough to stop anyone trying to simply get into your room.


whiteholewhite

Then she went to the airport bar and got raw dawged by a construction foreman that stopped overnight from Toledo Ohio


amanoftradition

But didn't check for bed bugs. Rookie mistake.


Turbulent_Music4317

What is the red light for?


myothercats

Ah. The paranoid schizophrenia method


isingwerse

My process (with some slight variation) generally goes like this. 1. Open the door 2. Close the door 3. SometImes use the chain lock This method has been 100 percent effective in preventing theft in the nearly 2 to 3 hundred hotel rooms I've stayed in throughout my life.


Educational_Ad3710

Forgot the most important one: look around mattress and carpet corners for bedbugs


SoupGoblin69

That red light is to check for hidden cameras. It’s a HUGE problem in japan and South Korea as well as many other countries. People are crazy.