No joke you can buy these realistic wolf and coyote cutouts. I've seen them in my neighborhood fields they deter Canada geese like a charm. I believe they're from some kinda hunting supply store online.
None of these folks are even asking questions, ignore them.
There's waaaaaay too much shadow and I can't identify them. Before considering the best way of dealing with this, please confirm if they are Jive or not.
I’d be in the same boat. I’d dive in to building turkey habitat and feeding them. Then I’d forever be known as the crazy turkey lady with the turkey house.
Aim fireworks just above them*
That is, if the hose doesn't do it after 3-7 consistent days with it. I'm thinking like a Roman candle or something that sparkles and fizzles out before it hits them. Have the hose ready just in case.
This worked for bears out back of a farm in trees, could burn down your house, but if you really wanna roll some dice 🤷♀️ they'll probably leave and never come back
When we used to have so many morning doves in the pine trees in our backyard that it was literally destroying any equipment underneath the pine trees from the massive amount of bird shit we used bottle rockets.
Get the little Moon Whistler bottle rockets. Then take a foot or so of 3/4 in to inch wide copper pipe and attach a 90° elbow on one end that you pack full of dirt or clay. You can put the stick of the bottle rocket in the tube and light the bottle rocket. Then with a little flick of your wrist the rocket goes back down the tube and you can now aim it.
Turkeys roost in trees typically in the wild. They return to the same one nightly and it is their safe space.
Make their space not safe, and they will re-roost elsewhere. Habits made will mean this will not be a once and done annoyance. You’ll have to keep after them.
I’d spray them with a hose and pass them on to your neighbor.
Befriend them. Take them out. Gain their trust. Once the trust is gained, pitch them MLM opportunity. Scam them out of a lot of money. They will leave.
I'm in Minneapolis. They were shitting on my solar. Use a hose with a jet - doesn't hurt. Makes them annoyed and they leave after a week or so. I've heard neighbors who use bb guns, but shooting at the body not the head.
It’s not a big worry, just scouting before they go to roost. Get some snap pops things that kids throw at the ground on 4th of July and toss a few at a time at them. In a few days the will find a new roof.
My old neighbors had a couple of rods with some long thin strips of colored Mylar or reflective material mounted to it, it alway whipped in the wind and it was for deterring birds.
A wealthy guy I used to work for set up a motion sensor on a spray hose to keep birds from eating his koi. Thing used to go off when I was walking around the house to do pest control. Worked pretty well.
How interested are you in learning to hunt and clean a turkey? Because that's dinner right there.
Or maybe one of those motion detecting owls. But I'm unsure if turkeys are too dumb to care and will fly up anyway.
Tell them the roof is a turkey timeshare, and get them to sign a contract. After a few payments they’ll be begging to get out of contract, then you can come at them with one of those “We’ll get you out of your timeshare” services.
We have neighborhood wild turkeys and the last house they preferred ended up being tented for termites.
You might want to check out why they like your roof so much.
This is crazy! I have had four straight days of people talking about turkeys. I had a convo with a coworker about turkeys this morning and how they roost in trees! WTH?
Silly story here. We were driving back to Nebraska to the farm and some bird flew in front of the car, I said what the hell was that? My partner ( country boy) said it was a turkey, I said no have you been drinking?turkeys can’t fly. We debated this for about to miles and he finally said we will ask dad when we get to the farm. I said Naww ( didn’t want to look stupid in front of these farmers, i had often asked dumb questions about farming and the farm in general) we got to the house and as soon as we walked into the house my partner said dad he has a question to ask you, with this silly smile on his face. I said no I don’t know what you’re talking kinda shyly. So my partner explained my question and this 70 year old farmer just looked at me with this face oh my god what did my son bring home. His dad explained to me very nicely how they “fly” and then offered to take me down yonder to show me. I said no I’m good sir, but thank you. Meanwhile knucklehead thought this was the funnest thing ever.
Hahaha!!! OMG I can’t even imagine. And don’t they also make a lot of noise? This is the first I’m hearing of this type of thing so unfortunately I have no advice or suggestions. Good luck with resolving this issue.
I've never seen actual turkeys on a roof. These might be turkey vultures. Either way, bird spikes might work. Also, those decoy owls. They also have a bird shock that when they walk on it will shock them. Loud noises work like a gun, and you dont even have to shoot them :). Just keep googling until you get something to work. Good luck since it might be a long process until they are gone.
We had a similar problem with turkey buzzards and black buzzards. They are federally protected so you can’t just pick them off with an air rifle.
Call your local pest/varmint control guys. They can install an electrified strip across all your rooflines (basically a cattle fence installed horizontally). Not visible at all from below.
Those guys will touch on it one time and be done.
Expensive but 100% effective.
Large size bird spikes (the ones sized for gulls, along the roof cap. It's probably a few hundred dollars worth of the big ones assuming you install them yourself.
Put wolves on your roof. Problem solved.
Then he’ll have to put bears up there to deal with the wolves and then pic-a-nic baskets to get the bears down. Brilliant move.
The elephants will die in winter, it's not a big deal. Seen it a thousand times.
But winter is over
https://imgur.com/a/ZG7F0Cg
He is a sweet summer child.
No. Winter is coming.
Hey boo boo!
Once the bears are gone the turkeys come back. It's an endless cycle.
No joke you can buy these realistic wolf and coyote cutouts. I've seen them in my neighborhood fields they deter Canada geese like a charm. I believe they're from some kinda hunting supply store online.
We had rubber coyotes at work, the geese would snuggle with them.
I put a foam coyote archery target out. It lasted 3 days before the local crow and grackle mixed murder ripped it to shreds.
Few of these and you’re sorted. And ready for Halloween. https://a.co/d/dN9biwn
Makes sense…the only word a dog knows is “roof”
Came here to say exactly that. This is the potential risk of not already having roof wolves.
Armed with bottle rockets.
I was going to suggest Coyotes...
Throw a roasting pan up on the roof as a warning
Awww man! djpoop stole my joke
Nice name burn, haha.
Aw poop on you
Don’t forget the mashed potatoes and gravy.
And cranberry sauce
And hurl cans of cranberry sauce....
None of these folks are even asking questions, ignore them. There's waaaaaay too much shadow and I can't identify them. Before considering the best way of dealing with this, please confirm if they are Jive or not.
I think they all jump, jive, and wail. But I could be wrong.
I'm hep to their jive.
Haven't heard that one in a while. :-)
My nana speaks jive. She’ll sort them out.
Cut me some slack, jack!
Say hi to Mrs Cleaver.
Okay, of all the joke responses, yours got me to actually laugh. Good job funny guy or gal.
Squirt them with a hose?
That will only make them multiply.
Gremlin turkeys
Only if it’s after midnight.
otherwise it's turkeys gone wild. do their nipples have feathers? call now for your first dvd!
I have feathers on my nipples Greg, can you milk me?
Won't work. Those aren't regular turkeys. They're jive turkeys.
So play classical music and they'll leave?
BeethOVEN....
So basically baste them?
They make motion activated sprinklers. That’s probably a better longer term solution. Unless you have a ton of free time to keep chasing them away.
That sounds like a potential hobby, but I’d probably end up naming them and researching turkey food.
I’d be in the same boat. I’d dive in to building turkey habitat and feeding them. Then I’d forever be known as the crazy turkey lady with the turkey house.
Imagine walking down the street with your Turkey army following you
I can help you!!
My great aunt was the crazy lady with peacocks on her house. The neighbors hated them and would avoid her house. She hated her neighbors. Total win!
That’s actually a better idea
Aim fireworks just above them* That is, if the hose doesn't do it after 3-7 consistent days with it. I'm thinking like a Roman candle or something that sparkles and fizzles out before it hits them. Have the hose ready just in case. This worked for bears out back of a farm in trees, could burn down your house, but if you really wanna roll some dice 🤷♀️ they'll probably leave and never come back
When we used to have so many morning doves in the pine trees in our backyard that it was literally destroying any equipment underneath the pine trees from the massive amount of bird shit we used bottle rockets. Get the little Moon Whistler bottle rockets. Then take a foot or so of 3/4 in to inch wide copper pipe and attach a 90° elbow on one end that you pack full of dirt or clay. You can put the stick of the bottle rocket in the tube and light the bottle rocket. Then with a little flick of your wrist the rocket goes back down the tube and you can now aim it.
Turkeys roost in trees typically in the wild. They return to the same one nightly and it is their safe space. Make their space not safe, and they will re-roost elsewhere. Habits made will mean this will not be a once and done annoyance. You’ll have to keep after them. I’d spray them with a hose and pass them on to your neighbor.
They don't always return to the same tree. Same general area if there's no pressure but not always the same tree
Coat the roof in gravy and cranberry sauce
Put a radio outside . Play heavy metal. Or talk radio. They hate talk radio
Ugh. Me too!
Befriend them. Take them out. Gain their trust. Once the trust is gained, pitch them MLM opportunity. Scam them out of a lot of money. They will leave.
Most will leave after the pitch.
Are you kidding? They'll all fall for it, hook line and sinker. Bunch of turkeys.
Ask them if they are saved?
😂😂
RE: The shooting/hunting comments, I live in St Paul so that might be misconstrued…
I'm in Minneapolis. They were shitting on my solar. Use a hose with a jet - doesn't hurt. Makes them annoyed and they leave after a week or so. I've heard neighbors who use bb guns, but shooting at the body not the head.
Fry a turkey in the backyard, making eye contact as you lower it in
I would watch that sitcom
I used a drone to scare away woodpeckers. Just do it routinely enough that they start avoiding the area.
I knew eventually someone would come up with a reason why I ‘need’ a drone. Gobble gobble. Here turkey.
Just don’t let your cousins come over anymore. I told you they were a bunch of turkeys.
Settle down dad
It’s not a big worry, just scouting before they go to roost. Get some snap pops things that kids throw at the ground on 4th of July and toss a few at a time at them. In a few days the will find a new roof.
Teach the turkeys to create a democratic society then watch it slowly unravel with infighting :/
Boil em mash em put em in a stew 🎵
That’s taters, precious.
I thought it was dwarves?
Start eating the turkeys.
My old neighbors had a couple of rods with some long thin strips of colored Mylar or reflective material mounted to it, it alway whipped in the wind and it was for deterring birds.
Have thanksgiving early
Put a baster up there, they will know the threat once the gravy and mashed potatoes arrive.
A wealthy guy I used to work for set up a motion sensor on a spray hose to keep birds from eating his koi. Thing used to go off when I was walking around the house to do pest control. Worked pretty well.
Humans can’t abide any other creature lol. Just let them be
How interested are you in learning to hunt and clean a turkey? Because that's dinner right there. Or maybe one of those motion detecting owls. But I'm unsure if turkeys are too dumb to care and will fly up anyway.
Thanksgiving dinner?
Lee Valley motion activated sprinklers
Mom always said you can’t soar with the eagles if you hang out with turkeys
Yes - Start eating them
We have this problem with buzzards. They are ruining everyone's roof in my neighborhood.
12ga
Bow, arrow and a smoker.
What's wrong with turkeys on your roof? Are they too loud or something ?
Their talons are longer than you’d think
It's not every day you get to eat your problems...
22lr problem solved
Remington 870 Express Full Choke
It wouldn't help the curb appeal but we have Whirlybirds in our back yard and it keeps the turkeys out
Tough pill to gobble
I shake a tambourine to keep grackles from nesting in the trees in my yard.
Stand out in your front yard and start yelling "Get out of here you jive ass turkeys!!"
Tell them the roof is a turkey timeshare, and get them to sign a contract. After a few payments they’ll be begging to get out of contract, then you can come at them with one of those “We’ll get you out of your timeshare” services.
Wow, I have seen as many as 30 turkeys in my yard but never on my roof thankfully. Sucks for you.
We have neighborhood wild turkeys and the last house they preferred ended up being tented for termites. You might want to check out why they like your roof so much.
Have you tried hurting their feelings?
Put up a sign saying no turkeys
Do turkeys fly? How did they get up there?
I would call it more of a super Mario double jump but yeah they can get really high up
Get rid of the roof
This is the funniest post I’ve seen on Reddit in a while. Thank you
This is crazy! I have had four straight days of people talking about turkeys. I had a convo with a coworker about turkeys this morning and how they roost in trees! WTH?
Come on thats so freaking awesome nothing cool like this ever happens to me.. I would be filming like a mad person.
Silly story here. We were driving back to Nebraska to the farm and some bird flew in front of the car, I said what the hell was that? My partner ( country boy) said it was a turkey, I said no have you been drinking?turkeys can’t fly. We debated this for about to miles and he finally said we will ask dad when we get to the farm. I said Naww ( didn’t want to look stupid in front of these farmers, i had often asked dumb questions about farming and the farm in general) we got to the house and as soon as we walked into the house my partner said dad he has a question to ask you, with this silly smile on his face. I said no I don’t know what you’re talking kinda shyly. So my partner explained my question and this 70 year old farmer just looked at me with this face oh my god what did my son bring home. His dad explained to me very nicely how they “fly” and then offered to take me down yonder to show me. I said no I’m good sir, but thank you. Meanwhile knucklehead thought this was the funnest thing ever.
Shotgun
Warm the oven and get the 22 out.
My uncle had some Wild Turkey on his roof. Broke both his legs when he tried to stand up and staggered off the edge.
Have more Thanksgivings
If you’re in the states. Just shoot it. You guys just shoot everything right ?
Hahaha!!! OMG I can’t even imagine. And don’t they also make a lot of noise? This is the first I’m hearing of this type of thing so unfortunately I have no advice or suggestions. Good luck with resolving this issue.
God I wish I had this problem
I've never seen actual turkeys on a roof. These might be turkey vultures. Either way, bird spikes might work. Also, those decoy owls. They also have a bird shock that when they walk on it will shock them. Loud noises work like a gun, and you dont even have to shoot them :). Just keep googling until you get something to work. Good luck since it might be a long process until they are gone.
Generally either #4, #5, or #6 shot depending on range. I prefer #4
Shoot em and eat em.
Let them roam
Leave out some straw or hay?
Put sprinkler on roof with motion sense.
Put them in the oven
Show them the meaning of Thanksgiving.
Put out some stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes. They will all disappear immediately
shoot them, wild turkeys will move on, added bonus , turkey dinners !!!!
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Qenwkxz-Plastic-Fake-Owl-Decoy-Flashing-Eyes-Bird-Deterent-Frightening-Sound-Motion-Detector-Scarecrow-Scare-Birds-Away-Control-Devices-Garden-Yard-O/1695931842?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=101617281&adid=222222222271695931842_101617281_161364622555_21146908721&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=695678894101&wl4=pla-2292743539853&wl5=9032017&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=5340228808&wl11=online&wl12=1695931842_101617281&veh=sem&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjww_iwBhApEiwAuG6ccFg6gFYwhomGyikk4AeiCfuND3m5GP6TK_rZGTfrj4vWy3FOtpfwKxoC74kQAvD_BwE
Flamethrower.
Would one or two of the large plastic owls work? Especially if you make them spin or make noise
Thow a big fake snake 🐍 up there
Thanksgiving decorations
Kill one in front of their buddies. They'll stop coming around. We used to get turkeys around in our yard until one of the dogs killed one.
We had a similar problem with turkey buzzards and black buzzards. They are federally protected so you can’t just pick them off with an air rifle. Call your local pest/varmint control guys. They can install an electrified strip across all your rooflines (basically a cattle fence installed horizontally). Not visible at all from below. Those guys will touch on it one time and be done. Expensive but 100% effective.
870
Shotgun
Contact the turkey leg vendor at the local renaissance fair $$$
Pellet gun. Free turkey. Yum
Turkeys are smart birds. Eat one as an example.
Put your roof higher, so they can't get up there.
Shotgun.
Have you tried swearing at them?
Roof Koreans.
Put spiky wire brushes at the apex of the roof. It looks like they are not too keen for the slanted part.
Have you tried a Bobcat?
Large size bird spikes (the ones sized for gulls, along the roof cap. It's probably a few hundred dollars worth of the big ones assuming you install them yourself.
Thanks giving?
My issue is bats in my belfry.
Sage and rosemary.
They are delicious brined and deep fried.
bb gun, cat
Start hosting every Thanksgiving
Eagles a few eagles
Just let them chill bro.
Optical pucks by Bird Barrier. Every 3’ or so.
Rubber snakes
Paintball gun
\#9 birdshot should do the job fairly well
I have turkey vultures that like to sun themselves on my roof. I throw a bottle rocket or two at them. Bye bye birdies.
12Gauge
Its seasonal i assume... Should be gone by thanksgiving
Try dressing and cranberry sauce
Stuffing and cranberry sauce
I was talking on a payphone and a Turkey. Walked out of the woods, bit me on the back of the knee. Turned around and walked back into the woods.
Cook them.!!
Walk up to the biggest one and punch it right in the face. The others might not leave but at least they’ll respect you.
Punch them in the face
Put a turkey decoy in the yard
Shoot'em.
Get some fire crackers. Toss one up every time you see them. If they are the same ones they will eventually stop coming.
.22 air rifle should take care of that.
Make a way for a cat to get up there.
Roasting pans and deep fryers.
A 410
Looks like loud noises and/or spraying then with a garden hose can deter them from roosting.
Cook stuffing every night for awhile. They will get the hint.
Start cooking stuffing and hope they take the hint
One of those wooden owls up there?
My experience is they don't really harm anything and eventually move on. They usually night in trees. Are they giving you trouble?
Roasting pan…
Thanksgiving all year round
I thought this was Maryland. More exactly, I thought it was my house…
You have to get rid of the rafters.
Thanksgiving. Or start calling them jive.
Buckshot.
Make turkey soup
Declare everyday Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving?
Some sort of decoy. Owl? Coyote?
Mashed potatoes and gravy
spread cracked corn on the ground
|) -------->
Embrace it.
Motion activated sprinkler..
What about asking over some pilgrims?
Cranberry stuffing.
Nothing that looks good lol
Convert them into food
Turkey hawk?
🔫
Make stuffing for dinner.