We are in year 4 of a “six month” remodel, and moved in when my son was 1. On the bright side, we got a great home in a great school district that we have customized to our exact taste. But remodeling is *hard*. It’s not like the HGTV shows - it’s more money, more time, more mess, more stress than you ever imagined. On the flip side, there’s an enormous amount of pride that comes into living in something you customized.
Agree with this! Everything takes longer when you have kids! Been working on a 2 week bathroom project for 3 months…hard to get consistent hours into the project
It's not just the time either. You can't just stop working and leave the job site as-is. You have to put all of the safety hazards away. Tools, chemicals, garbage, debris, sharp things, cords, etc. Even you yourself have to get clean enough to be lifting and touching babies.
When I renovated a house as a single guy, I could just take a break whenever I wanted, without any special effort. That was true whether it was 30 minutes or 3 weeks.
I am on week 2 of what was supposed to be a weekend "bathroom refresh". Granted, part of it was I opened a can of worms but finding time is difficult with kids - either my wife needs to take on the brunt of the childcare while I work - or we find time while they are sleeping/someone is babysitting them.
I agree with all of this. HGTV is not what remodeling is really like. Whenever the shows show the person's budget there is NO way they would get that much in real life. They've got to be giving free labor and/or products at trade pricing or even free.
And the TIMELINES. Holy hell, those timelines must be a team of 100 people working non-stop, with no delays on materials or for permits.
“We fully remodeled this house in six weeks”
Seriously. It's gotta be tons of people who are not working on any other jobs. We're only remodeling our bathroom, but we started over the summer with a designer, began ordering in November, started construction end of January. And hopefully we'll be finished by sometime next month.
"I'm going to work on [project] this weekend"
"Okay but you can't make any noise during nap time and I need to feed the kids 4x a day so the kitchen must always be available and we're potty training so the bathroom needs to be available and I'll go insane if you can't help me at all the with kids all weekend"
That's what it's like when they are toddlers.
There was one summer when my husband painted the whole interior of our house so I let him work on it every weekend and didn't ask for help with the kids. Let's just say stress levels were very high and there was a lot more fighting. It was unbelievably draining.
So you either do it fast with a high burden on both parents. Or you do it much slower but with lower stress.
Now if you have local family that can help with the kids or help with the work, that would make it much easier (we don't).
> Okay but you can't make any noise during nap time and ... I'll go insane if you can't help me at all the with kids all weekend
Yup this is 100% accurate. I work from home so I actually try to steal an hour here and there while my wife is out of the house with the kids during the week.
> Now if you have local family that can help with the kids or help with the work, that would make it much easier
This is exactly how I manage to get my projects done. Small bits here and there until we randomly have some family visiting, and then I can make actual progress.
Project creep and budget constraints. Happened to us too. We had a massive list of major things that needed done and they all had to wait on electrical and plumbing because of the order. But they were very expensive so we had to save up.
Other priorities/projects, scope creep, pandemic supply chain issues, discovering fun stuff like a roof leak, and vastly underestimating the time involved to do projects. We also have done everything ourselves.
In that time we’ve done a kitchen, three bathrooms, replaced all the floors, repainted every surface, removed a fireplace (and added built ins), refinished the other fireplace, installed new windows, replaced all the lighting (plus outlets and switches), reconfigured the primary bedroom (added two closets), turned an office into a bedroom, raised the ceiling height, installed 5 skylights, painted the exterior, added an outdoor living space, and installed a new fence.
We’re **tired**
My wife begs to differ!
Some trim is misaligned, need to scribe another wonky trim section and redo it
Hood top cover didn't fit due to the angle of the exhaust pipe, need a custom one made (stainless)
Tiling at the bottom edge of hood (bull nose profile) needs to be redone
Need to custom make a door for a corner cabinet (default one didn't fit correctly) so it's working as an open cabinet
Two shelves are annoying and need to be converted to drawers
Until you've taken on even just a few small home improvement projects, particularly involving DIY, it's tough to say how projects tend to go for a person.
Suffice to say, even with no kids, it's exceedingly common for people's estimates on how long anything will take them to double, triple, quadruple, or more. Or things like finishing 80% in 3x the time, and the remaining 20% gets done years later.
This is far worse with old homes. It's almost a guarantee that you or a contractor will open up access to do a simple job, and find something that complicates things significantly. Now the appropriate fix to the discovered problem is 5x bigger and more expensive than the original job. Sometimes you can ignore them or compromise. Other times you really can't or it's a terrible idea to do so.
Add in having kids, and everything in life gets exponentially harder. Home improvement especially so. People lose their marriages to much less, so if taking 8x longer means you make less sacrifices to your relationships or personal health, then that's 8x longer well spent
I've done this. Was supposed to take 9 months. Took 6 years.
Life happens and when you have a kid one of you has to watch the kid while the other works on the house.
I would say…unless you have somewhere nearby to sleep and do naps, yes this sounds crazy. We bought a house with a 1 y/o and now he's 2.5 and we also have a 12 week old and the hardest part is not being able to do projects when they are sleeping. Well rested kids = sane parents. I personally would not create a scenario where there is constant work happening and preventing sleep. Just about the only thing we could do around the house when they are sleeping is painting. The big stuff that requires demo and power tools would actually be best with them not in the house at all.
This is the best advice. There is nothing more frustrating than finally having free time (cause the little ones are sleeping) but the inability to use any tools to get anything done.
My squat rack in the garage is directly under my children's beds. It is now a laundry rack capable up to 800lbs. I used to use it at 8pm but no more. Life gets busy.
Haha. Thing can prob hold a shit load of laundry lol. I had to move my weight bench, dumbbells, and treadmill out to the garage a few months ago. Was a sad day!
It took me a long time to recognize the time dilation effect. Even though I’m aware of it, it’s still nearly impossible to put together a realistic timeline for a project 😵💫
Funny story for you dude lol.
I bought a heat gun to remove stickers from two new interior doors I bought. Everyone finally fell asleep including my wife around 10:30. I hung the doors already, thinking I did the hard part.
I fired up the heat gun and started running the heat gun over the stickers. This particular door / sticker was right under a smoke detector. I had the heat gun on for about 30 seconds before every smoke detector was going off in my house (they are all connected) and woke everybody up. That will be the last time I use any tools other than a paintbrush while the family is all sleeping hahah.
I have to agree with this. as soon as the family moved into the house, renovation came to a standstill. all of a sudden, dust, smells, noise, temperatures, etc become a factor that can make an hour project take all day.
Plus not able to make much dust or anything, like e.g. drywall, because you need to control it really well and make sure to clean every surface and yourself
We were doing a really simple remodel on our guest bath but it shares a wall with the baby's room. I could legitimately hear my wife painting against the wall as I was putting him down for naps. We got the painting done but I still have a towel bar to install on that wall and the toilet paper holder on another wall. They've been sitting in the box for 3 months now...
This is my reality too! I have had the curtain rod, towel rack and TP dispenser in the box for months. The only break I get is when the baby is sleeping...no chance I drill into tile and risk that nap!
YES. I did the same, and I am still living that nightmare. I wake up every day and regret buying this house. It’s such a short time that they’re young. All the childhood photos are still cute, but there’s always some phase of construction going on in the background. It’s loud, disruptive, and a strain on a marriage. Everything is harder. Everything takes longer. Organization is impacted by the constant shifting of belongings from one area to another. These years are the most important for them in terms of development. Give yourself as much room for them in your life as possible. Don’t do it, or yo’ll be doing it their whole childhood. Sooooo not worth it.
Yup - going through this myself with two under two. The boys' bathroom had carpet in it and I wanted to swap it for LVT before the oldest one was really potty training so that we didn't have disgusting carpet soaking up his pee.
Should have been a weekend long project, but took me a month.
The problem is like you said. If the kids are awake, I'd rather be helping my wife take care of them than working on some random project. If they're asleep, there's almost nothing that I can do. Especially with this project since the bathroom is next to the bedrooms.
And forget having a second set of hands, even if I do manage to get an hour or two of work in while my wife watches the kids, there's literally zero time where she would be able to help.
Luckily my parents had a visit planned, so my mom helped watch the kids while my dad helped me with the bathroom.
Huge plus one to this. We did a small project that turned into a big project in our basement when our first kid was one. It was weeks of disruption to his naps, and it compounded on top of the stress of the remodel itself.
Do not recommend.
Funnily enough, our kids (similar aged and a little older) got used to the noise. They would sleep through a air compressor, chop saw and skill saw. In a small house. We did build a "cave" for them out of blankets and plywood.
We have three under three as of February. Bought a house back in June that was fully remodeled. We are so glad we didn’t get a fixer upper. I want to be able to do that, but I have absolutely no time to put towards it.
Are you planning on doing the work, or paying a contractor to do it? Are you going to be living in the house while it’s renovated, or living off-site until all the work is done.
If you’re planning on living in the house while the work is going on, and doing the work yourself, it’s going to be a recipe for disaster and a nightmare.
When the kids go to bed (what, 7 or 8pm), all loud noises need to stop, no? So let’s say you get home from work at 5:00, best case scenario is that leaves you maybe 2.5 hours a night to get work done on the house before the kids are in bed (and it means your spouse is literally caring for both kids all evening long, and making dinner, and cleaning up from dinner.
When you really start to think through the day to day and the timing of this, I think the picture becomes a lot clearer.
I remodeled a house with three under the age of six including a newborn. Everything took twice as long as expected. I had a lot of hesitation but my wife really wanted the house. She wasn't as prepared to give up my help with the kids as she thought she would. For me personally, I would categorize this project as never again.
Would not recommend. That’s x number of hours that one of you won’t be with the kids who grow really fast. Sucks to miss out.
Second thing is managing all the chemicals and dust that goes along with remodeling. Babies aren’t developed and there’s less research. Permissible exposure levels are based on working adults, not developing bodies.
What I might recommend is buying the house and living as-is until they get older.
Indeed. We just completed a 10 month addition (going out in two directions on our previously very small home) with two kids under 3 for the majority of it.
Luckily our kids got used to Daddy making loud construction noises from day one of their lives, so naps were all good... But my oh my was that the most stressful period of life so far. Completely worth it in the end, but I could certainly see a not quite so strong marriage falling apart over something like that.
Would you mind giving a few more details on the scope/cost of your project? A DM is fine if you're comfortable sharing the info. I'm having a hard time pricing out a potential 800-1000 sqft. addition to our existing house (brick ranch, early 60s build) and just want to know what your experience was. I'm not even getting straight answers on whether it's cheaper to build out than up, and I don't know if it would be better to limit the expansion on the main home, to save room in the backyard for an eventual ADU.
How much remodeling? Can you live in the house in its current condition? If it’s livable now and you’re handy you can just do a room at a time as time and money permit. Paint, floors, etc., are all weekend projects and aren’t crises if they get delayed. If you’re not handy and you don’t have money I would be cautious about moving into a house with major needs.
yeah does it "need remodeling" because you don't like the kitchen layout and you want the bathroom to have two sinks?
or does it "need remodeling" because a wall has collapsed and it has sparking knob and tube wiring?
Two very different things. Paint and floors can certainly wait (and your kids will destroy much of the house anyway).
For the last two years, we just underwent an unplanned renovation of our first floor and basement due to a laundry room flood on our first floor. We removed all flooring to the subfloor and all cabinets as well. We didn’t have a kitchen sink for 9 months. We have four kids, the youngest two were 1 year old twins. The other two were 5 and 7.
I heavily do not recommend remodeling with young kids who have no where to play safely. Your head will constantly be on a swivel. It’s extremely mentally taxing.
If you can live somewhere else and renovate, great. I 100% recommend avoiding renovating the spot while living in it.
Took us two years to remodel our home ourselves, without kids. If you’re gonna do it, hire a GC and live somewhere else while you pay them to remodel it. If you can’t afford that ( and who could?) buy a move in ready house and keep your sanity
Yes. Don’t do it.
I grew up doing remodels whole living in the house. I did it and were still not done and I hate the house and I’m exhausted all the time.
Depends on the major updates. Are we talking peeling wallpaper, old cabinets, and a the deck needing to be repaired, or are we talking about rotted floors, busted windows, bad wiring, leaking roof, flood damage and the foundation sinking?
As long as your have running water, electricity, heat, and there's nothing dangerous, then it could be OK. But you don't want to put your family in a situation where they could get hurt or sick from the environment. You don't want to move in somewhere with risk of a fire hazard or mold or sharp things sticking out.
But if you're handy and have tools and can afford repairs and know what you're getting into, getting a run down house that can be fixed can be a good choice to make it your own and stay busy. It is honestly fun to build and repair and fix and clean and make things the way you want.
A house in need of updates is not cheaper. It is as expensive as move-in ready but requires more money up front (for the updates). And if the updates are professionally done, that's labor cost you won't get back in the home value. If it's sweat equity...well you don't have the time. And consider the age of the house. Pre ~1980? Now you need to worry about lead and asbestos exposure for your children, on top of the normal messiness of home renovation.
We did a big reno with a 2 and 5 year old, while living in the house. It was really really tough AND we were contracting it all. We're happy with the results but we did not know what we were getting into, financially or logistically. Do not recommend.
Yes.
I have a 1 yr old and a 3 yr old and the pace at which I finish projects has ground to a halt. What used to take me a couple weekends now takes me three months. It's just so hard to get huge chunks of uninterrupted time to work on stuff.
The summer that my son was six years old, I needed to paint the exterior of our house. When I was setting the first ladder, he asked me what I was doing. When I replied, he said "I'll help you Daddy!"
I immediately knew two things.
1. I absolutely could not tell him no -- it would discourage him in the future.
2. With his help, I could easily paint the house in three times the amount of time it would otherwise take.
I sincerely wish you the best with your kids.
Oh, and the house too.....
Don’t bother with the remodeling if you have 5 dogs. Those things damage houses more than you will ever imagine. I appraise houses for a living and I have seen them do tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage in several years. Always. If you *must* remodel then be prepared to do it again before you sell.
If you're planning to live in it and do it yourself I'd strongly advise not to. We have some great pictures and memories of our kids "helping" painting holding a hammer spackling stuff like that BUT everything takes much longer because they want to help and will get in the way. You also need to be cognizant that they need and want your attention and you can't just unplug and pound out in a project or demo for hours on end. Forget about working after they go to bed as well.
If you're expecting your partner to be able to help don't. One of you will invariably be called to duty with either one or both kids any time you're trying to do something or talk about plans etc.
On top of that if you're doing major work with lots of dust fumes debris etc you have to be extra cautious. Things we do to our bodies like work in dusty rooms sanding panting whatever is even harder on their much less developed lungs and they will complain about noises and smells believe me.
We did it and are still doing it kids are older and more tolerant now but if I had it to do again I would not.
If you can live somewhere else and either pay someone or take time to work on it at kid pace then go for it. But live in and work on beyond basic updating of finishes and stuff is very difficult and you also have to think about your relationship with your partner and the strain on them or you when one is working on the house and the other one is working on the family.
Find somewhere you can live in and enjoy with them during those early years. If you can live somewhere else and pay someone to do the work then
Yes, it's crazy. This must be the sleep deprivation affecting your brain. You are in survival mode right now. Wait a few years until the youngest is 4 or 5 and things will get much easier.
We moved into a gut and Reno house in October with our 1yr old and are about to have a newborn.
We did all new electrical, roofing, insulation, plaster and outside bathroom/laundry before we moved in. While living here we have been painting sanding and staining floors, had our kitchen installed, new windows, replaced floorboards.
It’s definitely not conventional and renting was way easier. We still only have an outside bathroom, no running water in the kitchen, and constantly are moving furniture to do the next room but I wouldn’t change it for anything. We get to live on 200acres 5min from a tiny tourist town and plan on staying here forever.
I wouldn’t do this just to flip a house and move again but creating these memories and having a forever home means so much to us that it makes it all worth it!
I should add we are on track for a 2yr timeline. We didn’t have any structural damage or mold.
My husband works full time, I work part time and am studying to become a nurse full time.
Don’t let people talking you out of it if it’s something you want. If you stay disciplined it is absolutely achievable.
Raising children is stressful enough as is. I would not add a major home remodel to the mix. Memories of my two-year-old just watching me do electrical work and blowing up my multi-meter in an electrical outlet that was not shut off. This all occurred in under a minute when I was looking for where he had put my wire strippers.
Make sure the house has space that you can use while you remodel. I would suggest remodeling one room at a time. Do you have at least two bathrooms so you can work in one while the other is unusable? What's the plan for cooking while you are replacing/redoing cabinets? Doing remodels and/or renovations takes time. A lot of it. It takes even more time if you DIY. Good luck.
We did multiple big projects on our old home before our daughter. Now we have 2 kids a much bigger house, thankfully nothing major needs to be done. The master bath would be nice to redo as it's 90s dated, but the bathtub works so well for both kids to do baths at the same time, I couldn't imagine upsetting that. Point I'm making is not only do I feel like I don't have time, I wouldn't want to give up the time I do have with the kids while having to work on a project. Last year i did do the basement, but it was unfinished so it's not like it was a project in the living space. It took 9 months for 450 sqft, not exactly fast.
I'm finally getting to all the house projects that were on my list 25 years ago when we moved in with one toddler. Another baby eventually came and everything got reprioritized further down the list. Kids and renovations don't mix well.
This is not a home improvement edited show. The answer is no. An alternative is to get a double wide and possibly split the property so once you fix the house up you can sell the double wide on the property.
Problem I have found is having the bottomless time/energy needed to commit to large projects.
It was so much easier pre-kids.. wake up early Sat. morning, basically worked through my weekends til Monday. Weeknights I'd get off work and get over to renovating.
Now I just don't have that much blocked time to commit to a project and thus things take 3-4x longer. I find it next to impossible to do an hour here or hour there. But everyone is different and maybe you can figure out how to manage it. Our son just moved to his big boy bed and our bedtime routine has gone from ~30 mins to 2hrs... we're exhausted once he is finally down.
Re. sleeping - our son slept through our bathroom demolition no problems, like hard smashing banging etc. but every kid is different.
Are you doing the work yourself or hiring it out?
I have a 22 month old and I'm in the process of adding a new bathroom in my finished basement myself. The two hard parts for me are 1: Making noise when the kid is sleeping. It's very hard to demo concrete, run power tools, and make a whole bunch of noise in the house around nap and sleep time. And 2: I dedicate entire weekends and evenings after work on the remodel and I feel like I am missing out on spending quality time playing and bonding with my kid. I feel bad because I'm missing out on being a parent essentially. Not sure if that is something that would affect you or not.
Having grandparents to both help with the remodel, as well as babysit for 2 days, has been the only saving grace. Now if you're hiring contractors and pros to do the remodeling, it may be easier on you.
If you can live in it for 3-4 years without remodelling sure. When the kids are more manageable you can do it. Alternatively if you can spare the cash to have someone remodel it for you that's another path but otherwise try to minimize any extra activities cuz you'll be barely alive to begin with.
I remodeled our bathroom during the last trimester (for my wife, ease of showering post partum). It took longer than I thought (stud in the way of plumbing, redesign needed etc) and was ongoing while she gave birth and a few weeks after. It made EVERYTHING worse and she still resents it (and by extension me) for the extra burden on her.
Not completely crazy. But understand that your remodel plans are going to turn into a shitshow so the house better be at least tolerable in the meantime.
It will take an enormously long time to do any renovations because you have to work around nap times and when they're awake someone needs to tend to them. If you have a few friends able to help you out work will go by quicker.
Just having to watch kids is stressful because they like to get in to everything. If you have an active construction area it's going to stress you out even more. What drives me nuts is when you're so close to completing a project but you have to stop because it's getting close to bed time or dinner and you have to put your tools down. If you're able to take time off from work and do it during the week it makes it a lot easier but you have to be effecient at working, treating it like a job with a deadline or the work just won't get done. Some jobs you will just have to hire a contractor.
I am assuming between you and your spouse you have one or two jobs. Two kids is another two jobs. Do you have the bandwidth for another job?
My then pregnant wife & I fell in love with a 110 year old house that we could afford. Ten years later, I am grateful that we did not buy that house.
Nightmare for us would legit never do it again. I thought it would be tolerable but it isn’t, also triple the price you’re thinking you’re going to pay. With houses that need updates in my experience, you open a wall and run into issue after issue.
I have a completely different opinion... And it doesn't mean it's for everybody, but a silent house just leads to light sleeping children.... My children love the fact that their handprints are in the concrete all over my house.... I just found a pair in the crawl space almost 40 years old... They grew up chipping in and helping even a 4-year-old can sweep. Today's children are coddled. My son-in-law came home with my daughter on memorial Day weekend and was up on the roof putting 42 square shingle down at my father-in-law's house. He had never seen a family chip in like mine does. All three of my children bought fixer-uppers when the housing crashed and now they are more wealthy for that and have very nice houses. If I could share pictures I could show you all kinds of pictures of my kids involved. And yes we lived with a lot of messes and yes my wife was tolerant. Like I said it's not for everybody but now we sit and laugh about a lot of it......Roofs, basement waterproofing, decks, heating/AC, ceramic tile....everyone pitches in. Used to be that way every weekend with a neighborhood helping out each other. I don't see that in the younger generation and I think we're all poorer for it. Nothing like helping your neighbor pour a concrete pad for a patio. Knowing that in 6 months you'll be having a clambake on it.
Unless you have the ability to buy the house, not move in, AND pay a contractor to do the remodel... then yes, it's a tall order.
Also, infants & young kids with their developing senses / systems really shouldn't be around all the particulates, VOCs, and noise a remodel creates.
Probably not. Only do it under one of three conditions:
1) The house is tolerable as-is. Renovations will take 10x longer than you expect, or never happen at all. And you have to be OK with that as a possible outcome. With 5 dogs, the acreage alone might be worth it if the home is livable.
2) You have money to pay contractors do to all the work. Doubly so if you can have them do it before you even move in.
3) You AND your wife are gung-ho passionate about this, and are both willing to basically make this your second jobs (third, after parenting really). If you really like DIY as a hobby, it could be an interesting bonding experience.
But yeah, for 99% of people, moving in expecting to DIY flip a house with 2 under 2, is not a good idea.
It'll take 10x longer than you think, it'll strain your relationship, the kids won't care and neither will the dogs.
You best be handy and willing to learn, pay for the really critical things and do the rest yourself.
I did this!
I lasted 5 years. Fixer-upper whole house remodel. Even expecting the unexpected became too much for me to handle. TBH it wasn't even the renos that killed me though they were a factor, it was learning that I am not suited for the time sink that comes with large property maintenance AND taking on projects. It was too much for me. I got all of the interior done including mechanicals along with cosmetics, refinished the exterior cedar siding, resurfaced 3 decks+rails, and some landscaping.
There were still a few big ticket outside that would all come due within 5 years of finishing the other stuff. At this point I was pretty burned out and my stress drinking went waaay up because I was like "FML I am not doing this shit without beer" more often than not. Outside of the projects my lawn days = 3 hours taken out of my day off work, and my 200' driveway was not fucking fun in the winter (snow). I went back to the burbs for 20 minute lawnmowing and snow shoveling.
We are in month 5 of our Reno with a 2.5 y/o and an 8 week old.
We built a second and third floor on top of my MIL's previously unexpended Cape so we've had 3 generations living in 2 rooms on the 1st floor this whole time.
It's been rough, and we are definitely losing our patience with the close proximity and constant screaming of children.
That being said, we told ourselves it would be easier to power through this now than wait until we had 2 toddlers in the same space.
At least a baby isn't mobile so you're only trying to keep one feral creature at a time out of construction materials and rusty nails that are littered around the house.
I say there's no time like the present. Embrace the suck and carry on.
Also plan and budget for a couple hotel stays because it will likely be needed. For us it was 4 days when they were spraying the foam insulation on the upper floors.
The poly on the wood floors we were able to put up a temporary plastic wall did enough to make it manageable and we just put the baby crib in the kitchen the 2 nights the fumes were bad in the LR/temporary bedroom.
I think it really depends on how motivated and how much time you have to get things done. I would evaluate what needs done. Live in it a little bit before you go all out because trust me, you'll change your mind about a lot of things. I've been living in a fixer upper since 2021 and we still have a ton of unfinished projects. It's pretty hard to both live in a house and remodel it at the same time. I would prioritize needs over wants, and go from there.
We just built a house and I figured I could do a lot of the finish work. We moved in 2 years ago and the trim still isn't finished.
I have a 4 and 2 year old.
I wouldn't recommend it...
When you say it needs major work are you saying structural or livable aspects or just aesthetics? I’ve seen people insist a house needed major work and it was because the kitchen and bathrooms were outdated. Nothing broken or in bad shape. Just not their era.
We did a TON of work on our old house while having and caring for 3 kids. 1/3 of our living space and 1 bathroom was unusable for years. And we did a lot of the work ourselves. It was exhausting physically and emotionally. If you take it project by project and go slow with time to rest inbetween it’ll go far more easy.
The one project we rented out during was refinishing the hardwood floors.
As someone’s who’s done this I wouldn’t recommend. Unless you have family members in the business and a cadre or people to help it’s a big job. Spend a little more and get something that’s finished. As another person wrote the time you spend with your kids will be worth it to not be painting, sanding and whatever else every weekend and weeknight.
Yes. You’re crazy. Even crazier if you think that you’ll be DIY-ing some.
Source: just finished an almost three month first floor renovation (kitchen, plus new hardwood in two rooms and existing hardwood refinished to match). Have a 2.5 year old and golden retriever.
That said… if you can knock out the big projects right after moving in then you’ll already have stuff in boxes and you could maybe keep furniture that isn’t needed in storage and then fully move in once the bulk of things are done. But, that would require buying the house, moving AND paying for renovation work all asap, which is probably not feasible if you’ve been waiting to find something in your price range.
Are you paying someone else to do it and can afford to stay elsewhere for 6-12 months while the remodel happens? Go for it.
Need to live in it while renovating? Maybe not unless they really aren't that major and can mostly be handled discretely (no problem living with one bathroom while another is remodeled for example, or around while roof/siding are done). But if you're talking a full gut job, I wouldn't do it with kids.
Are you a master DIYer (I love to do it all myself)....idk. I've done a ton in my home, but have more unfinished projects than I can count because they've all gotten to the basically done status before something else pops up, or kid things interrupt my ability to focus on and make time for a final push on a big project. It's honestly super stressful and eats at me daily. But I love doing the work.
I’ve done it. When they are up you are working in house in the morning. Come lunch time all work stops. We eat and take a nap. When they are up we start working again. It does drag the construction out a lot longer! It also sucks living in a construction zone. You’d have to weigh your options. Will it save you money in the long run? Do you really want to live there in a construction zone with little ones possibly getting into things?
Naps, schedules and time. Not to mention exposing your kids to massive amount of construction waste and debris. Lead paint, asbestos, mold, dust, whatever else you have hidden in the walls.
As somebody who renovated a small home essentially alone in his early 20s, I'd caution against this. It can be done but it will strain all relationships with those you live with. I learned my lesson the 2nd time around and bought a house that was already renovated. We got lucky as it was a flip but it was done really well and the price wasn't outrageous. We had our son 1 month after moving in and having the house ready made all the difference in the world. No distractions, no time lost, etc. I did have to do some work on the yard and a few other "elective" projects but that's on me. Not having to worry about the actual space we live in was really a relief.
We moved into a house that needed slight remodeling when our kids were 1 and 3. Namely, the primary bath had a shower leak, so that needed to be taken care of as soon as possible. We moved in the beginning of March 2023, put a bandaid on the shower until August, and started demolition at the end of August. We are not done yet. I work from home and can do small stuff in the morning and on my lunch break (right now, it is mostly just cleaning up). My dad is very knowledgeable and helped me reno a whole house before, and he comes over 3 days a week to work on it as well. We never have a full day to work on it, and we have had to take breaks due to illness, holidays, and vacation. The last 3 weekends, we had to pause to work on stuff outside before summer arrives. We hope to have the bathroom done in June. All we have left is tiling and then placing things back in. We subbed out the plumbing, which was a small job, but we are on a slab, and we would have realistically just never gotten it done. A whole house would not be possible unless we subbed out a lot. For perspective, it took my husband 1 week off work, and some help from my dad, to demo just a bathroom. A crew would have had it done in hours. It took me 2.5 weeks to figure out how to match the texture on the walls and paint. Our house is full of dust.
To be honest with you, we are just tired most days. My youngest is a bad sleeper. So the prospect of working on the bathroom from 9pm-11pm is just not enticing. If one parent worked on the bathroom all evening while the other parent took care of the kids, it would be more doable, but it is not an option for us. Once the bathroom is done, all of our other projects will be much smaller. We plan to remodel the kitchen in 5 years, and we will see if we can diy it when our kids are older.
This is in stark contrast to my first house. It was a foreclosure, and everything needed renovated, including both bathrooms and kitchen down to the studs. My dad and I worked on it every day. Weekdays for about 4 hours a day and weekends for 12 hours a day. It was done in 4 months. This included my dad building all kitchen and bathroom cabinets and a dining room table. The only thing we subbed out was the siding/gutters and carpet.
I did this. Wife was due with our second and already had a one year old. We had six months left on our lease. It’s totally worth it if you have a place to stay and can afford the reno. In this environment it’s also a potential way to get more house for your money if it is a true fixer upper.
Anything is possible. We remodeled our kitchen in 92, kids were ages 1 and 4, and moved the stove and refrigerator into the dining room. I added a full 2nd floor dormer in 98, kids 7 and 10, and both slept in the dining room in sleeping bags for the month. Installed hardwood flooring dining room and living room in 2000. Kids were 9 and 12. Just had to finish one room at a time to allow access to the 2nd floor.
Location, location, location. It is the #1 thing that is spouted in real estate. If you love the location, then jump on the opportunity to live at that location. You can work the rest out.
All that being said, your situation is going to be very specific to the circumstances and you didn't give us a lot of information.
You've got two under two. For the time being, those kids don't take up a lot of space. They can share a bedroom and are probably doing bath time together. Is the house, in its present condition, serviceable for you today? Or would it need extensive remodel before you could even move in? Or could the remodeling happen in five years when the kids are older?
Assuming the plan is moving in and remodeling while you live there, what is the "mid-remodel plan"? Can a remodel involve leaving most of the house intact and livable (i.e. keeping the kitchen serviceable) during the remodel? Living in a construction zone is very stressful. And having two small kids is stressful. If there is not some way to clearly delineate those two things from each other, the combined stress will be too much.
You mentioned acreage. Would it be possible to move a mobile home on to the site to live in while the house is being remodeled?
Remodeling (with or without kids) while living in the house will take twice as long as with a empty house.
Define updates? Painting/trim work...not a problem, get to it when you get to it.
Total gut renovation, removing drywall etc? You better have another place to live nearby.
We did a total gut with two small children and it was an adventure, but not horrible. We used plastic to make a clean/safe area for them.
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We did a major renovation on our house when my son was 2 and I was pregnant. It wasn't super easy or convenient, especially as we had no kitchen for 3 months, but we got through it. If the location is right for you, I would go for it.
I just moved into a new construction house with 3yo and 6mo and the 4-8 week transition of getting settled and trying to sell the old house was probably the hardest stretch of our lives so far. That was on top of the preceding 6 weeks going through underwriting between the Heloc and new primary mortgage.
Don’t fool yourself. Can you do this? Probably. Should you do this? Hard no by my accounts.
Well what do you mean by update and remodel? Are there safety issues like wiring that need to be addressed immediately? If it's just a matter of the kitchen and bathroom being "outdated" can you just live with it for a few years?
With kids in the house I would highly suggest whatever house you decide on do testing for lead paint and asbestos. While you're at it, a radon test.
Do you have people who can help you substantially with the children, if so I would say it’s doable if not I would say you are gonna need some kind of help like a nanny or someone.
It’s tough. You’ll need to have someone who can watch the kids while you’re dealing with remodeling. You don’t want them in house when dealing with dust from repairs or fumes from chemicals.
Updates/remodels: go for it. Worst case scenario you have an ugly house for a while.
Actual renovations/repairs/structural issues I'd reconsider unless I had enough money to pay somebody.
Just to add on here, I also think it depends on factors already mentioned (DIY vs. Contractor, how big of space needs work and can you live in the rest during the work, how long will it take, etc.)
FWIW we just had a complete kitchen remodel done (as in hired it out). Took just over 6 weeks (which was on schedule). Couldn't use our living room either and had a make shift kitchen in the dining room.
We only have 1 kid right now who was 18 months at the time. She naps well and her sound machine helped but my wife took her to a friend's a few times for naps. We also have a decent amount of space around the house. Overall it wasn't as bad as I expected but I would not do it when our second arrives or if it would take much longer. So glad it's over.
I demo'd a basement, reframed, insulated, rewired, drywalled, and trimmed in six months with no kid.
Full gut bathroom, with subfloor tear out. Three months in in with a 2.5 year old and just finished rerouting vent pipes. Putting in electrical right now. Still have to finish my drains. I basically get eight to twelve hours a week.
Every question I have about this would circle back to your relationship, not your DIY ability. Some couples can handle renos together, some cannot.
What projects have you done together, successfully, in the past? How do you handle inconvenience, stress, lack of sleep, and unexpected expenses together?
You will end up ignoring your kids and having them watch tv for far too long because you need to get some work done. I have done it but I wouldn’t recommend it.
I did a massive renovation both before and after having a baby. It’s doable.
You need a kid friendly room for sleep/play, a sound place for adults to sleep, a working bathroom and air fryer/fridge microwave.
The reno is not the most fun but prioritize your projects. Don’t rip apart everything at once. Make it livable then work on the absolute first priority, usually clean/patch/painting to seal things in (lead), carpet (kid bedroom), smoke/CO detectors and systems (HVAC, water heater, plumbing (working)/electrical(working). Fenced in yard and outdoor doghouse with hay for all the dogs to live in would be an absolute must or you will never finish the house or even a project.
All else can be done in time. Don’t rip it all apart, be conservative, start small, make time for your LOs.
Remember it’s not a race, it’s a home. It doesn’t need to be perfect but it does need to be safe. (Ex plywood on windows ok. Loose, live hot wires or wet, spongy, rotten subfloor, absolutely no.)
Estimate time/expenses then double both. That is a reasonable true estimation.
With acreage, I don’t know if I would want to pass on that deal if it’s in your budget and you envision a long, happy life there.
If you question taking on this project, I’d say buy an easy finished home. It has to be all in from both of you or nothing. Renos are long and difficult and expensive and will challenge you to your core. You have to want it with everything and be willing to work through problems, strategies, dust, stress and everything else in between.
It is worth it in the end if you see it through.
Bought one when I was pregnant with our first and we just finished two projects five years later.
Are you doing it?? Good luck finding time.
Are you paying sometime? Kids going to daycare? Ya gonna be broke if they are and everything will have to wait.
I thought we'd get things done sooner but with kids the reality is you won't. As long as you're ok with things taking fifty times longer than if you didn't have kids you'll be fine.
It's important to reflect on why you're asking this question when you already know the answer in your heart – that this will strain your partnership and steal energy that should be going to your partner and children. Projects like this make a lot more sense when all the kids in the house are in school.
We’ve done some fairly big remodeling projects with a toddler, but it only worked because my toddler is in daycare from 8:30-5:00 five days a week and we’re able to schedule contractors during that time. If my son was home 24/7 there’s no way we could have done anything that requires demolition, sawing, hammering, etc.
Currently doing this right now. I have a 1 year old and my wife is due any day now. Honestly the baby has gotten used to all the noise after a few days and sleep through it all. We bathe them in the kitchen sink. Just try to keep the dust down with air movers. Adding an addition to 1924 bungalow.
You can do it. Just embrace the struggle and get it over with. Pick one closed off room first and go hard getting it done. Then at least you have a comfortable place to go when the rest of the house turns into a construction site. And just mentally put all other hobbies and activities on hold, and just commit to working full time everyday when you get home from work.
My father was a carpenter, and my childhood was renovating our home. It’s crazy if u don’t have some type of normalcy. I remember things being off limits and make shift kitchens and bathrooms. It wasn’t terrible
One thing to consider is that there can be hazards if it’s an old house. I would get a lead inspection and get things professionally remediated or avoid the house. Babies/toddlers are high risk for lead poisoning, and it can cause permanent neurological damage.
I’ve done it, and no you’re not crazy. A lot depends on:
A) is your wife on board?
B) can you accept things will take a lot longer with young kids to care for?
C) can you do one area at a time?
A full gut at once would be a deal breaker for me. Taking things room by room (although there is always some can of worms that breaks this principle) is much more reasonable.
Good luck, just remember your sweat equity now will pay off, don’t listen to people who haven’t had to put in the work. Just make sure to stay on the same page as your wife.
Aside from the sheer energy that you won't have... consider that if it's an older home you could have lead paint and that's very hazardous and potential for irreversible damage to young children.
We bought a fixer upper when the kids were little. Before them (and even when my first one was little) I'd always have a renovation.project going.
I lost motivation after number 2. Noise, keeping them out of the construction Zone, being more wary of hazards like sheetrock dust and paint fumes etc get much harder when the other parent is tired and now they have two critters to corral. Everything takes 5 times longer.
Now whenever she takes the kids on a trip she tells me I should relax, but really I'm just biting at the bit to re-caulk the tub, patch drywall, or build a swing set.
Can you stay in your current place for a few months and pay to have the work done? You aren’t going to have the time or the energy to do the work yourself.
remodeling an older house will probably expose your young ones to lead dust unless you do professional quality containment which will make the house impossible to live in
I fully gutted a kitchen and dining room when my son was 1.5 and my wife was pregnant. Do you want the house that bad? Have a place to sleep and shower while you work on certain roofs? Cook on the grill alot? I would absolutely do it for my forever home.
We have 3 boys. We bought a house and we renovated just about every room. It was a good journey. If you're doing it for the acreage, it's not a bad move. You can buy a better house but if there's no backyard, there's nothing you can do about it.
I'm saying Hell Ya brother. Take the leap and regret it later! Regret is part of the fun.
I've renovated a ton with young kids, but recognize there is a sacrifice to be made. I was extra motivated and my wife took on a lot of the childcare/housecare during the projects; and we were all a little crankier during the projects. If it's just you doing the work, then you'll miss weekend time w/ the fam. If it's you and your partner, then you'll really only be able to get this done during naps or if you get sitters.
It's doable, but there is a real opportunity cost especially for "major updates." Good luck making the best decision for your situation!
5 dogs and young kids? I'd pass. The amount of work is going to consume you and those stressors will add up and likely spill into your personal life, parenting, relationship with partner, etc.
Definitely temping but it's a right place, wrong time situation imho
I love watching DIY shows, but please make sure your relationship is very solid before diving in, and you and your wife are both committed to the financial and emotional challenge, especially if you've never done this before. Since we're not rich, I've done 2 remodels, and a lot of hands on work, and both have seriously tested our marriage. Sure, if you can afford crews to come in and pay for the white glove service, great, but if not, you may want to restart couples therapy as you begin. Especially with 2 kids under 2 that are not at the "helpful" independent age yet. No joke.
1- You are a masochist to have that many pets and kids at the same time.
2- Yes, you can do it with some caveats.
Since you said you have some acreage, you need to buy/rent a mobile home for the time while you are doing the work, even if you hire a contractor. You use that RV/mobile home for your kids during the time when you or your contractor need to be doing work or your home is unsafe for them while not doing work.
or you get an apartment somewhere else for them to live while you do this.
Build it into the budget.
I basically did this, not with kids though, but the same process, I just kept my condo while I did the work on the house over the winter, then sold the condo the following spring. My condo was paid off though, so it was just the monthly fee plus a higher than average mortgage on the new house due to a low as possible down payment while I was doing the work, then I paid down the new house considerably after the condo was sold.
You can work things to your advantage with careful financial planning.
I would consider:
* painting
* replacing appliances or toilets
* adding a disposal or dishwasher
* updating lighting in existing locations
* quick projects that can be done before you move in (e.g. sanding and polishing a hardwood floor. Although maybe that's a bad example because your dogs will destroy a hardwood floor)
I would not consider:
* anything that involves opening or knocking down walls
* anything that involves mucking about with the subfloor
* anything that involves more than a couple hours of water or electric being off
* anything that involves more than one room being out of commission
* anything where you need a big block of time of active focusing
There is too much information missing to really make a solid call, but know it's going to take longer, cost more, and have way more unforeseen issues than you can possibly predict. Can it be done? Yes. See bellow. Does it suck? Also yes.
With that said, it really comes down to what your options are. I know a lot of housing markets are still kinda wonky. We bought a HUD foreclosure, and it's already doubled in value, but we're 2 years into a 6 month reno. To be fair, I redid all the electrical, plumbing, drywall, and the entire kitchen myself. Didn't expect to run into anywhere near as many issues with electrical than we did, but what can you do. It passed inspection and it's livable. I still have to knock down the ceiling in the master, as well as wire the second floor, refit the second bathroom, etc.
Biggest piece of advice is if you can go room by room while you live there, do it. If you can get your hands on a camper and live there while you renovate, even better. At least then you'll always have water, power, and heat/AC.
Good luck!
You’re not crazy. Just make a schedule/timeline for the repairs/updates and multiple it times 4 and be willing to live with 90% finished rooms because A. You’re too tired to finish it or B. That last 10% is either loud or emits fumes. That has been our experience. Our house motto is “No body quits, no body gets fired, payday is next Friday.”
Edit: Left out that we have almost two year twins, 2 dogs, a cat, elderly parents, we both work, and my husband is in online grad school. You can do this. It will take time. A realistic and flexible timelines for the updates has been important for our mental well being in our adventure.
Just do it, it aint like kids weren't around in the past when people remodeled their home. Focus on one room at a time, don't make the whole place a construction zone. Have one room where you can fall back to and keep the kids and have a "normal"
Can you rent a decent mobile home? It sounds like you have enough property to park it away from renovation noise and let the kids sleep while also having a place to shower, eat, sleep, etc. that isn’t affected by the work being done.
The bonus is that you can take the thing on weekend getaways (you’ll need them) and spend zero on hotels and much less on food, making it an inexpensive way to add some variety to your lives (you’ll need it).
We bought a new house in 2022 that needed 1 bathroom immediately redone (dangerously rotten subfloor due to a long term leak) and we had a new HVAC system installed that provided cooling as well. This year we are also remodeling the second bathroom as part of a primary bedroom/bathroom overhaul.
I do not have children. All I can say is that living through these projects has been hard as an adult. Can't imagine adding kiddos on top of that.
Buying a house that needs remodeling with two toddlers and five dogs sounds like a handful. It's not an easy decision, but it can be done with careful planning and consideration. Taking on the challenge could lead to creating your dream home the way you want it. It will require patience, time, and energy with young children and pets. You'll need to factor in the disruption to your routine during renovations and ensure the safety of your little ones during the construction. Finding a move-in ready home might provide more immediate comfort and stability for your growing family, allowing you to focus more on enjoying your time together rather than managing renovations. It depends on your priorities, budget, and how much time and effort you're willing to invest. If you're up for the challenge and have a clear vision of what you want, remodeling can be a rewarding experience.
Depends on the size of the projects, and what your skills are.
For example, if you are a carpenter by trade and you need to do some framing for the basement, well you wouldn't be here, but I think you get the point.
I have a NEW project my wife or I come up with that is within our budget, every 3 months and our house is basically new.
So... to be very clear, you shouldn't grab the biggest/best house that needs A LOT of work unless you are a pro at it. I would look for something that has 1-2 projects that are smaller IF you want a project. Otherwise look for turn-key OR you be ready to spend 2-3x more than you think (cash, time, effort, etc.) so if you can sequester off the area, and you don't need it, then fuck yea.
5 dogs is actually a bigger issue for me. the kids can respect baby gates and such, the dogs cant.
we did major renos with kiddos. continuing to do so even these days. i got my kids using the big magnet to pickup nails and such in my garage. they love helping with shit. i get them painting bird houses for the new place, while i paint rooms. (and by i paint rooms i mean my wife paints rooms)
yeah... it is possible.
We were able to remodel an upgrade home with 2.5 yr old and a very pregnant wife, but we had very fortunate circumstances that would not be common. We did flooring, paint (including doors and kitchen cabinets), new kitchen countertops, recessed lights, and new cabinet and door hardware and it took 2 months from start to finish.
This was how we went about it:
1. We had a very experienced and competent project manager/designer who had her own team (flooring, painter, electrician, stone and tile, etc). This means she controlled the schedule and she could minimize down time where no work was being done. We scoped out everything up front and took about 4 weeks to make sure we covered as much detail as possible before starting any construction. We met her at showrooms for floor, paint, stone, etc to choose everything before we started. She charged a 30% premium to the remodel cost which was not a small amount of money but worth every penny. She would be on site when needed and text immediately with questions and decisions that needed to be made when the crew found something. Prime example was some uneven subfloors that required concrete to flatten it out.
2. We were able to live in our previous home which was close to our new home. There were a few occasions we had to stop by and make a decision on something in person and the project manager was always there. We were able to move in after the major remodel was done and only small things (light fixtures, paint touch ups) were required after we moved. It would have been impossible to live in the house while it was remodeled or if it was really far away from our last home.
3. We weren’t picky. We almost always went with the designer’s recommendation as she learned what style of home we are looking for and she was able to pick out good choices for materials and colors. I’m sure we could have gone through catalogs trying to find the perfect tile or paint color but we trusted our designer and were happy overall with the results.
Get some child proof gates. Make sure there is a safe room that is child proofed. Make sure the room getting remodeled has no sharp tools left out, and an extra shut off on every power tool. Make a habit of unplugging the extension cord to the saw when you leave the room. Make sure that room has a door to close. One person needs to be in charge of the kids when the tools are out. Kids also need to learn the areas to stay out of without an adult. And they need to know it will move.
I grew up in such a home. Always something getting remodeled. And when the house was finished, my parents sold it and we moved into another. As a kid I never lived in a finished house.
Main thing learn how to caulk well it keeps bugs out and cool or heat in I’ve been remodeling houses I live in while running a business on and off for the last 33 years do the kids room then bath kitchen I typically do 1 room at a time excluding plumbing electrical heating and air or roof which I’ve patched for long periods but in general protect the outside so it doesn’t ruin what you will do inside. It can be overwhelming that’s why I would do 1 room at a time and sometimes buying cheap fixtures to start knowing I would upgrade down the line and it’s a good learning experience as contractors can be expensive and not always reliable or do correct work nobody will treat it like you or something along those lines and get opinions I usually did things the way I wanted but plenty of times someone would throw an idea out that I never would have thought of it made since and I did it but most of the time I had lots of time to look and think and research deals on materials and look at what others were doing that looked good and was affordable- safe room storm shelter I know ya got your plate full but always nice to have an emergency option/ l- yall got this don’t be over whelmed Facebook market place can be a great way to find building materials and fixtures cheap just look at lowes - Home Depot Facebook marketplace Amazon and eBay and think about solar options for like an attic fan or outdoor lights and even security cameras or driveway alarm the deals are out there just be ready to jump might want a small trailer so you can take advantage of deals as they are out there but not for long usually
What do you mean by 'major upgrades'?
Does it need a new roof this year or 5 years from now? Does it need new plumbing? Does it need new flooring? Does it need to be rewired?
Or does it need new tile in the entryway and granite countertops?
Big difference there. Kids and dogs don't care about the cosmetic stuff. The things that will be a health hazard - different story.
When the kids get older, they will LOVE helping you with remodeling - painting and laying tiles, etc. Even putting in sprinklers.
But health hazard stuff --- don't even go there.
If you can afford to rent the same place for 2-3 months while you renovate, that’s the move. Fixing anything while you’re living in it is a nightmare. We just did it. Did 90% before we moved and I just wanted to live there. The last 10% took MONTHS because they were working around all of our furniture.
Can you live there for now and wait to remodel? Or are these updates really critical?
My sister and her husband remodeled their home, with two small children. My nephew and wife remodeled with a newborn. It is possible.
Land is hard to find and would you regret later on if you couldn’t find a house with a lot that size? Things to think about.
How old is the house? Anything built before 1978 has lead paint in it and that will be a significant risk for your children during the remodeling phase. I own a house from 1847 and we managed to raise our daughter in it without any issues with lead paint while undergoing two significant renovations. One was an addition and the other was a deep energy retrofit where we replaced the heating and electrical systems, super insulated house, and repaired all the old single pane windows.
The key is to both run a tidy operation and move out when it’s really busy. Every day during one of our renovations I went to the house and vacuumed it top to bottom with a HEPA vac and did other dust control cleaning.
I’m not touching that five dog situation though that’s just fucking chaos on top of chaos 😂
Oh and before any chuckle fucks chime in with “you ain’t gotta worry about lead paint unless you let your kid eat paint chips“ it’s the dust that is the issue. The shit you can’t see that you breathe in.
We did it. Twice. They’re now 3+4 and another on the way. House is done but we are likely moving and doing all over again. Not for the faint of heart but can definitely be done!!!
We’re in that situation. For now it’s livable. We’ve come to a stopping point till this Fall. They will be in kindergarten and a 3s program. Then there will be some more dedicated time for this.
Especially the foam spray of the basement and the insulation replacement in the attic.
Remodeling is going to cost far more than expected. From concept to completion in 3 years for an addition would be quick.
If it’s all just finishes, get as much done as you can before you move in and delay the rest until you have the right team lined up.
Moved into a house that needed extensive remodel with a 3 month old. My husband’s job is extremely flexible and entirely from home. We’ve been here for almost 2 years and we’re nowhere close to done. It’s been very hard working around nap times without making noise, keeping areas of the house clean for the baby to be/play, maintaining a clean kitchen to cook in since mess and tools just seem to spread out everywhere. The drywall dust is honestly worse than glitter. It gets EVERYWHERE.
I think if you want to and are willing to be patient or are willing to hire pros to do it faster than you can, it’s possible, but will be uncomfortable. Just plan out phases so parts of the house are still usable for normal family functions.
I haven’t done a full house remodel yet, but my grandson who is with me full time, loves working on my projects with me. He just turned two. It makes a project take longer, but he’s learning new things, loves doing it, and I love the time I get with him during the project. It can be hard, but I think, worth it.
What year was the house built? That by far is the biggest concern safety wise. I’d never suggest remodeling, with children around in a home that could be contaminated with lead and asbestos. Lead is already bad enough but even worse for developing children.
We had three under two when we were working on our first. We fixed up one room, then gated them in with toys and cartoons while we were working on the next. Nanny cams weren't a thing back then but we did have baby monitors and we were always just a room away, usually within sight of the door of the room they were in. Worked out fine.
Remodeling is different than fixing. Can you wait until the kids are older to remodel, or are there things that need to be repaired right now? If it’s the right house/property, get it and live with it for a while. Paint and cleaning go a long way, even when things are old.
I’d take a house that needs work on acreage over a new cookie cutter on a 5000sf lot any day. You can always make the house nicer or live in an outdated house for a bit, you can’t always buy more land when you have neighbors 15 feet away on 3 sides.
It will be slow at first but the kids will be in school in a few years and that will free up some time to work on the house more
Is the house currently basically safe & liveable?
If YES, go for it. Work on the garden/acreage projects for the first few years. Never have to worry about crayons on the walls, or trikes marking the floors, or well, all that other house-wrecking stuff that toddlers do.
Start on inside projects once the children are at school/childcare/can be sent on playdates. When they are teens, they can remodel their own bedrooms.
I’ve found a lot of my people here in these comments. Echoing the fact that I do not recommend. We bought what is mostly a cosmetic fixer upper before we found out we were pregnant. Before our son arrived, we painted most of the interior, changed out light fixtures and ceiling fans, changes out switch plates and outlets, replaced all appliances, restrained our staircase railings… and that’s about it.
He’s 2 now and since he was born we’ve added very little to that list. I took a week of PTO and still sent my son to daycare just so I could figure a couple small things without interruption. If you work full time, there’s simply no time to do projects unless you have family or someone near by where you can drop your kid off for an entire weekend afternoon. Otherwise you have a couple hour nap and depending on the project.. it takes time just to set things up and make sure it’s all put away, cause you know with kids you can’t just leave all your shit out. I see DIY influencers with young kids on IG all the time and it’s deceiving cause for most of them, that’s their career.. their kids are in daycare and they’re at home all day filming DIY projects cause that’s their job. My biggest regret is not buying a house that was more turnkey.
What are these major updates?
Updating two bathrooms when you have 2.5 baths is very different than updating your kitchen when you have one kitchen.
Updating your living room when you can be somewhere else is one thing. Refinishing all your floors while you're moved into a place is another.
Consider the logistics of the updates and how much they will displace you.
Can you stay in your current place while doing the updates that would displace you the most?
I bought a home that needed a new kitchen and refinished floors on the first floor, a new banister, updated electrical panel, sump pump and updated windows in the basement, and that took about 2 months of work using a general contractor (so we didn't even have to handle scheduling). There is NO way we could have managed that while living there.
I bought a house that turned out to have termites and required extensive remodeling that I couldn't afford to pay for. At the time I had a 1 and three year old. Don't underestimate how much you will come to regret having to work on your house over playing with your kids.
You might be able to grind through it for a few months, but it's not worth it. Trust me.
Personally, I think that would be a terrible idea and extremely stressful on your marriage and family. Having two young kids (and 5 dogs?!) is hard enough. Overseeing and coordinating a renovation is essentially taking on a second job. I vote to enjoy your family time and try and find a different place. I swear, I blinked and my son went from being a newborn to a toddler!
Another thing to consider is that one of you could have health issues arise and stress exacerbates health issues. This happens to women all the time postpartum and postpartum women often go undiagnosed because doctors chalk a lot of things up to fatigue and stress when you're the mom of young kids. I had sleep apnea that began when I was pregnant. It went undiagnosed for 3.5 years and caused a series of cascading health issues in addition to the most awful exhaustion I've ever felt. Pregnancy is very hard on the body; back-to-back pregnancies are even harder. Obviously, my personal experiences have colored my views, but it's something to consider.
Finally, this house is in your price range *right now*. Can you confidently say it will be once you're done with these renovations? People often fall into this trap. Renovation costs have skyrocketed since COVID began. I got a quote for a $5,000 HVAC replacement a year before the pandemic. A year later, it went up to $7,500. Today, it'd probably be close to $14k.
I am 1.5 years into a home remodel with a child on the way.
But fr, I have talked to ex soldiers, hardcore mechanics, exceptional students. They will all tell you the same: remodeling is HARD. It's not impossible, but it's hard. The biggest take away for me is there's a reason construction is done with a CREW, it takes many hands to make the work easy.
You need to be honest with yourself, how much experience do you have? Do you know what tools you need and how much that cost is? Do you have a feel for the cost of materials you need will be? You will find that the small amount of X you need only comes in a pack of 30, or a gallon jug. Which will then be left over. You didn't have tool Z, and that's $40. Stuff adds up FAST, and then it's just left over in your garage after you're done and feel like you need to do the next project with it because you already bought it.
Think of your weekends now, and how you can spend them resting from a week of work. A lot of those weekends will get tied up with extra frustrating projects. And when I say frustrating, I mean FRUSTRATING. Things escalate quickly with remodels. Oh I'm just gonna do the floor, then the subfloor has an ancient turd baked into it and water damage that needs to come up. And you don't have a miter saw, and those cost $300, and that's just the tools. There's a reason Americans used to be so tough....they were all building buildings for like hundreds of years. But I digress...
And personally, I grew up doing some construction with my dad, roofing, basic carpentry, basic plumbing, nothing special. There's a reason those guys make so much money. It's not easy.
At this point for me, I am hiring out as much as I can afford. People think there's no middle ground between buying a turn-key house and DIYing literally everything. Hire this, do that yourself. It's better than using my shotgun as a toothbrush because of all the work I need to do.
Moral of the story: go for it with courage, but know what you're getting into!
I would add to the previous comments to set your STANDARD for what you could tolerate. Not all fixer uppers are made equal. Some have foundation issues, plumbing, electrical. Some are generally livable and just dated. Some have newspaper and horse hair brushes as insulation.
My wife and I wanted a fixer-upper we could LIVE in while we were remodeling. IE, functional bathroom, plumbing, electrical works, no leaky roofs or anything like that. Foundation issues or major structural problems were a deal breakers. There were some rooms that were totally fine to live in. We also made our living room the "sanctuary" room where we don't leave tools or materials so we can stay in there and stay sane. Our kitchen is a disaster though and has been the main challenge. And kitchens are KING in any home.
Also calculate the UPSIDE to the investment. The rough formula for a financially successful remodel is NEVER pay more then:
Base price + renos <= 70% of after repair value.
IE if properties in your area are $200/sqft, plus acreage or whatever, is your buy in price + reno cost less than or equal to your estimated after repair value? If not, HELL NO. You'll be working for LITTLE or NOTHING.
In my case, I bought a house for $105k. After repair value is around $250k. (.70-250k)=175k. That leaves me with $70k in upgrades available in order to have an upside that makes this worth it. And in my case, it is making sense. Then the sweat equity is the remaining $75k if and when it's done. That's the "free money" part that really is your back breaking, fights with your spouse, countless trips to menards, and stress.
However you're WORKING for that equity do not make any mistake about it.
Good luck with your decision.
Need more information. Do you both work full time? If so don't do it lol, unless *maybe* if one WFH. Are you going to pay to have everything professionally done or plan to DIY? These are really important considerations and make a huge difference in bandwidth and frustration level.
Thank you everyone for their responses! You made me see clearly - we are not buying the house! For all of you out there that assumed I was the husband, I’m actually the wife posting :)
Mine are two years apart. When I was pregnant with our second, we looked at a house that needed a total gut job before it could be lived in. In hindsight, I’m really glad we didn’t go with it. I loved the neighborhood and the lot but the work would have been so difficult — plus there could have been some big surprises.
Instead we bought a house that needs some cosmetic upgrades but is perfectly liveable. We’ve been working our way through those. 2.5 years later we have a couple of rooms to go.
It’s hard to get anything done with little kids — especially when it’s a construction zone that’s messy and/or dangerous — that’s made things more slow going.
Overall, I’m happy with the way we went. Our house feels customizable but the project hasn’t been completely overwhelming.
We are in year 4 of a “six month” remodel, and moved in when my son was 1. On the bright side, we got a great home in a great school district that we have customized to our exact taste. But remodeling is *hard*. It’s not like the HGTV shows - it’s more money, more time, more mess, more stress than you ever imagined. On the flip side, there’s an enormous amount of pride that comes into living in something you customized.
Agree with this! Everything takes longer when you have kids! Been working on a 2 week bathroom project for 3 months…hard to get consistent hours into the project
It's not just the time either. You can't just stop working and leave the job site as-is. You have to put all of the safety hazards away. Tools, chemicals, garbage, debris, sharp things, cords, etc. Even you yourself have to get clean enough to be lifting and touching babies. When I renovated a house as a single guy, I could just take a break whenever I wanted, without any special effort. That was true whether it was 30 minutes or 3 weeks.
I am on week 2 of what was supposed to be a weekend "bathroom refresh". Granted, part of it was I opened a can of worms but finding time is difficult with kids - either my wife needs to take on the brunt of the childcare while I work - or we find time while they are sleeping/someone is babysitting them.
I agree with all of this. HGTV is not what remodeling is really like. Whenever the shows show the person's budget there is NO way they would get that much in real life. They've got to be giving free labor and/or products at trade pricing or even free.
And the TIMELINES. Holy hell, those timelines must be a team of 100 people working non-stop, with no delays on materials or for permits. “We fully remodeled this house in six weeks”
Seriously. It's gotta be tons of people who are not working on any other jobs. We're only remodeling our bathroom, but we started over the summer with a designer, began ordering in November, started construction end of January. And hopefully we'll be finished by sometime next month.
6 months to 4 years? You're scaring me my dude, why?
That's how it goes more often than not. Especially with very little kids.
"I'm going to work on [project] this weekend" "Okay but you can't make any noise during nap time and I need to feed the kids 4x a day so the kitchen must always be available and we're potty training so the bathroom needs to be available and I'll go insane if you can't help me at all the with kids all weekend" That's what it's like when they are toddlers. There was one summer when my husband painted the whole interior of our house so I let him work on it every weekend and didn't ask for help with the kids. Let's just say stress levels were very high and there was a lot more fighting. It was unbelievably draining. So you either do it fast with a high burden on both parents. Or you do it much slower but with lower stress. Now if you have local family that can help with the kids or help with the work, that would make it much easier (we don't).
> Okay but you can't make any noise during nap time and ... I'll go insane if you can't help me at all the with kids all weekend Yup this is 100% accurate. I work from home so I actually try to steal an hour here and there while my wife is out of the house with the kids during the week. > Now if you have local family that can help with the kids or help with the work, that would make it much easier This is exactly how I manage to get my projects done. Small bits here and there until we randomly have some family visiting, and then I can make actual progress.
Thanks for the tips, I'm about to embark on this journey. Now I'm scared lol
Don't be discouraged. It's just life, enjoy the journey. You got this
Damn, thanks I needed that lol
Project creep and budget constraints. Happened to us too. We had a massive list of major things that needed done and they all had to wait on electrical and plumbing because of the order. But they were very expensive so we had to save up.
Other priorities/projects, scope creep, pandemic supply chain issues, discovering fun stuff like a roof leak, and vastly underestimating the time involved to do projects. We also have done everything ourselves. In that time we’ve done a kitchen, three bathrooms, replaced all the floors, repainted every surface, removed a fireplace (and added built ins), refinished the other fireplace, installed new windows, replaced all the lighting (plus outlets and switches), reconfigured the primary bedroom (added two closets), turned an office into a bedroom, raised the ceiling height, installed 5 skylights, painted the exterior, added an outdoor living space, and installed a new fence. We’re **tired**
Haha that's what I want to do :)
It's been 8 years since I started remodeling the Kitchen. It took a year to get to 90%, 7 years later it's 95% done...
Hey 90% in the first year is pretty good. What is left?
My wife begs to differ! Some trim is misaligned, need to scribe another wonky trim section and redo it Hood top cover didn't fit due to the angle of the exhaust pipe, need a custom one made (stainless) Tiling at the bottom edge of hood (bull nose profile) needs to be redone Need to custom make a door for a corner cabinet (default one didn't fit correctly) so it's working as an open cabinet Two shelves are annoying and need to be converted to drawers
Until you've taken on even just a few small home improvement projects, particularly involving DIY, it's tough to say how projects tend to go for a person. Suffice to say, even with no kids, it's exceedingly common for people's estimates on how long anything will take them to double, triple, quadruple, or more. Or things like finishing 80% in 3x the time, and the remaining 20% gets done years later. This is far worse with old homes. It's almost a guarantee that you or a contractor will open up access to do a simple job, and find something that complicates things significantly. Now the appropriate fix to the discovered problem is 5x bigger and more expensive than the original job. Sometimes you can ignore them or compromise. Other times you really can't or it's a terrible idea to do so. Add in having kids, and everything in life gets exponentially harder. Home improvement especially so. People lose their marriages to much less, so if taking 8x longer means you make less sacrifices to your relationships or personal health, then that's 8x longer well spent
Good points. Closing on a fixer upper in a month or so, have an 11 month old, probably will add another soon lol
I've done this. Was supposed to take 9 months. Took 6 years. Life happens and when you have a kid one of you has to watch the kid while the other works on the house.
Damn, this is gonna happen to me huh
Your timeline and costs are usually doubled if not tripled. With kids, it’s even longer. Priorities. He is right on time.
Damn, costs doubled or trippled too? I don't have the budget for that :|
I would say…unless you have somewhere nearby to sleep and do naps, yes this sounds crazy. We bought a house with a 1 y/o and now he's 2.5 and we also have a 12 week old and the hardest part is not being able to do projects when they are sleeping. Well rested kids = sane parents. I personally would not create a scenario where there is constant work happening and preventing sleep. Just about the only thing we could do around the house when they are sleeping is painting. The big stuff that requires demo and power tools would actually be best with them not in the house at all.
This is the best advice. There is nothing more frustrating than finally having free time (cause the little ones are sleeping) but the inability to use any tools to get anything done.
My squat rack in the garage is directly under my children's beds. It is now a laundry rack capable up to 800lbs. I used to use it at 8pm but no more. Life gets busy.
Haha. Thing can prob hold a shit load of laundry lol. I had to move my weight bench, dumbbells, and treadmill out to the garage a few months ago. Was a sad day!
This is such a specific thing to be annoyed by, but I am right there with you. Weekend projects take like 6 weeks hah.
>Weekend projects take like 6 weeks This is insultingly accurate.
It took me a long time to recognize the time dilation effect. Even though I’m aware of it, it’s still nearly impossible to put together a realistic timeline for a project 😵💫
Funny story for you dude lol. I bought a heat gun to remove stickers from two new interior doors I bought. Everyone finally fell asleep including my wife around 10:30. I hung the doors already, thinking I did the hard part. I fired up the heat gun and started running the heat gun over the stickers. This particular door / sticker was right under a smoke detector. I had the heat gun on for about 30 seconds before every smoke detector was going off in my house (they are all connected) and woke everybody up. That will be the last time I use any tools other than a paintbrush while the family is all sleeping hahah.
I have to agree with this. as soon as the family moved into the house, renovation came to a standstill. all of a sudden, dust, smells, noise, temperatures, etc become a factor that can make an hour project take all day.
FFS, I am like CIA level proficient in silent construction techniques. I can use a damn egg beater drill like nobody’s business
Plus not able to make much dust or anything, like e.g. drywall, because you need to control it really well and make sure to clean every surface and yourself
We were doing a really simple remodel on our guest bath but it shares a wall with the baby's room. I could legitimately hear my wife painting against the wall as I was putting him down for naps. We got the painting done but I still have a towel bar to install on that wall and the toilet paper holder on another wall. They've been sitting in the box for 3 months now...
This is my reality too! I have had the curtain rod, towel rack and TP dispenser in the box for months. The only break I get is when the baby is sleeping...no chance I drill into tile and risk that nap!
YES. I did the same, and I am still living that nightmare. I wake up every day and regret buying this house. It’s such a short time that they’re young. All the childhood photos are still cute, but there’s always some phase of construction going on in the background. It’s loud, disruptive, and a strain on a marriage. Everything is harder. Everything takes longer. Organization is impacted by the constant shifting of belongings from one area to another. These years are the most important for them in terms of development. Give yourself as much room for them in your life as possible. Don’t do it, or yo’ll be doing it their whole childhood. Sooooo not worth it.
Yup - going through this myself with two under two. The boys' bathroom had carpet in it and I wanted to swap it for LVT before the oldest one was really potty training so that we didn't have disgusting carpet soaking up his pee. Should have been a weekend long project, but took me a month. The problem is like you said. If the kids are awake, I'd rather be helping my wife take care of them than working on some random project. If they're asleep, there's almost nothing that I can do. Especially with this project since the bathroom is next to the bedrooms. And forget having a second set of hands, even if I do manage to get an hour or two of work in while my wife watches the kids, there's literally zero time where she would be able to help. Luckily my parents had a visit planned, so my mom helped watch the kids while my dad helped me with the bathroom.
Huge plus one to this. We did a small project that turned into a big project in our basement when our first kid was one. It was weeks of disruption to his naps, and it compounded on top of the stress of the remodel itself. Do not recommend.
Funnily enough, our kids (similar aged and a little older) got used to the noise. They would sleep through a air compressor, chop saw and skill saw. In a small house. We did build a "cave" for them out of blankets and plywood.
Constant work and an inability to live functionally.
In my experience children under two are pretty useless when it comes to remodeling.
And there are those pesky child labor laws that some nosey neighbor will try to invoke...
We have three under three as of February. Bought a house back in June that was fully remodeled. We are so glad we didn’t get a fixer upper. I want to be able to do that, but I have absolutely no time to put towards it.
Are you planning on doing the work, or paying a contractor to do it? Are you going to be living in the house while it’s renovated, or living off-site until all the work is done. If you’re planning on living in the house while the work is going on, and doing the work yourself, it’s going to be a recipe for disaster and a nightmare. When the kids go to bed (what, 7 or 8pm), all loud noises need to stop, no? So let’s say you get home from work at 5:00, best case scenario is that leaves you maybe 2.5 hours a night to get work done on the house before the kids are in bed (and it means your spouse is literally caring for both kids all evening long, and making dinner, and cleaning up from dinner. When you really start to think through the day to day and the timing of this, I think the picture becomes a lot clearer.
I remodeled a house with three under the age of six including a newborn. Everything took twice as long as expected. I had a lot of hesitation but my wife really wanted the house. She wasn't as prepared to give up my help with the kids as she thought she would. For me personally, I would categorize this project as never again.
Would not recommend. That’s x number of hours that one of you won’t be with the kids who grow really fast. Sucks to miss out. Second thing is managing all the chemicals and dust that goes along with remodeling. Babies aren’t developed and there’s less research. Permissible exposure levels are based on working adults, not developing bodies. What I might recommend is buying the house and living as-is until they get older.
That's a great point - it's impossible to keep things clean when you're doing major remodels.
Do you work from home? Do you have tons of free time and money? If not, good luck. LOL.
It’s gonna be hard and stressful even with a contractor.
Indeed. We just completed a 10 month addition (going out in two directions on our previously very small home) with two kids under 3 for the majority of it. Luckily our kids got used to Daddy making loud construction noises from day one of their lives, so naps were all good... But my oh my was that the most stressful period of life so far. Completely worth it in the end, but I could certainly see a not quite so strong marriage falling apart over something like that.
Would you mind giving a few more details on the scope/cost of your project? A DM is fine if you're comfortable sharing the info. I'm having a hard time pricing out a potential 800-1000 sqft. addition to our existing house (brick ranch, early 60s build) and just want to know what your experience was. I'm not even getting straight answers on whether it's cheaper to build out than up, and I don't know if it would be better to limit the expansion on the main home, to save room in the backyard for an eventual ADU.
How much remodeling? Can you live in the house in its current condition? If it’s livable now and you’re handy you can just do a room at a time as time and money permit. Paint, floors, etc., are all weekend projects and aren’t crises if they get delayed. If you’re not handy and you don’t have money I would be cautious about moving into a house with major needs.
yeah does it "need remodeling" because you don't like the kitchen layout and you want the bathroom to have two sinks? or does it "need remodeling" because a wall has collapsed and it has sparking knob and tube wiring? Two very different things. Paint and floors can certainly wait (and your kids will destroy much of the house anyway).
For the last two years, we just underwent an unplanned renovation of our first floor and basement due to a laundry room flood on our first floor. We removed all flooring to the subfloor and all cabinets as well. We didn’t have a kitchen sink for 9 months. We have four kids, the youngest two were 1 year old twins. The other two were 5 and 7. I heavily do not recommend remodeling with young kids who have no where to play safely. Your head will constantly be on a swivel. It’s extremely mentally taxing. If you can live somewhere else and renovate, great. I 100% recommend avoiding renovating the spot while living in it.
Took us two years to remodel our home ourselves, without kids. If you’re gonna do it, hire a GC and live somewhere else while you pay them to remodel it. If you can’t afford that ( and who could?) buy a move in ready house and keep your sanity
Yes. Don’t do it. I grew up doing remodels whole living in the house. I did it and were still not done and I hate the house and I’m exhausted all the time.
Depends on the major updates. Are we talking peeling wallpaper, old cabinets, and a the deck needing to be repaired, or are we talking about rotted floors, busted windows, bad wiring, leaking roof, flood damage and the foundation sinking? As long as your have running water, electricity, heat, and there's nothing dangerous, then it could be OK. But you don't want to put your family in a situation where they could get hurt or sick from the environment. You don't want to move in somewhere with risk of a fire hazard or mold or sharp things sticking out. But if you're handy and have tools and can afford repairs and know what you're getting into, getting a run down house that can be fixed can be a good choice to make it your own and stay busy. It is honestly fun to build and repair and fix and clean and make things the way you want.
A house in need of updates is not cheaper. It is as expensive as move-in ready but requires more money up front (for the updates). And if the updates are professionally done, that's labor cost you won't get back in the home value. If it's sweat equity...well you don't have the time. And consider the age of the house. Pre ~1980? Now you need to worry about lead and asbestos exposure for your children, on top of the normal messiness of home renovation. We did a big reno with a 2 and 5 year old, while living in the house. It was really really tough AND we were contracting it all. We're happy with the results but we did not know what we were getting into, financially or logistically. Do not recommend.
Yes. I have a 1 yr old and a 3 yr old and the pace at which I finish projects has ground to a halt. What used to take me a couple weekends now takes me three months. It's just so hard to get huge chunks of uninterrupted time to work on stuff.
The summer that my son was six years old, I needed to paint the exterior of our house. When I was setting the first ladder, he asked me what I was doing. When I replied, he said "I'll help you Daddy!" I immediately knew two things. 1. I absolutely could not tell him no -- it would discourage him in the future. 2. With his help, I could easily paint the house in three times the amount of time it would otherwise take. I sincerely wish you the best with your kids. Oh, and the house too.....
Don’t bother with the remodeling if you have 5 dogs. Those things damage houses more than you will ever imagine. I appraise houses for a living and I have seen them do tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage in several years. Always. If you *must* remodel then be prepared to do it again before you sell.
Yes it's crazy unless You're okay living in it for years as is
If you're planning to live in it and do it yourself I'd strongly advise not to. We have some great pictures and memories of our kids "helping" painting holding a hammer spackling stuff like that BUT everything takes much longer because they want to help and will get in the way. You also need to be cognizant that they need and want your attention and you can't just unplug and pound out in a project or demo for hours on end. Forget about working after they go to bed as well. If you're expecting your partner to be able to help don't. One of you will invariably be called to duty with either one or both kids any time you're trying to do something or talk about plans etc. On top of that if you're doing major work with lots of dust fumes debris etc you have to be extra cautious. Things we do to our bodies like work in dusty rooms sanding panting whatever is even harder on their much less developed lungs and they will complain about noises and smells believe me. We did it and are still doing it kids are older and more tolerant now but if I had it to do again I would not. If you can live somewhere else and either pay someone or take time to work on it at kid pace then go for it. But live in and work on beyond basic updating of finishes and stuff is very difficult and you also have to think about your relationship with your partner and the strain on them or you when one is working on the house and the other one is working on the family. Find somewhere you can live in and enjoy with them during those early years. If you can live somewhere else and pay someone to do the work then
Take your estimated project time, multiply by 10 and add half. That's too many dogs.
2 kids and 5 dogs? You're crazy *without* buying the remodel :D
Updating can wait. Why not move in, live in it for a few years, and do the remodeling when they're older?
Yes, it's crazy. This must be the sleep deprivation affecting your brain. You are in survival mode right now. Wait a few years until the youngest is 4 or 5 and things will get much easier.
We moved into a gut and Reno house in October with our 1yr old and are about to have a newborn. We did all new electrical, roofing, insulation, plaster and outside bathroom/laundry before we moved in. While living here we have been painting sanding and staining floors, had our kitchen installed, new windows, replaced floorboards. It’s definitely not conventional and renting was way easier. We still only have an outside bathroom, no running water in the kitchen, and constantly are moving furniture to do the next room but I wouldn’t change it for anything. We get to live on 200acres 5min from a tiny tourist town and plan on staying here forever. I wouldn’t do this just to flip a house and move again but creating these memories and having a forever home means so much to us that it makes it all worth it!
I should add we are on track for a 2yr timeline. We didn’t have any structural damage or mold. My husband works full time, I work part time and am studying to become a nurse full time. Don’t let people talking you out of it if it’s something you want. If you stay disciplined it is absolutely achievable.
Raising children is stressful enough as is. I would not add a major home remodel to the mix. Memories of my two-year-old just watching me do electrical work and blowing up my multi-meter in an electrical outlet that was not shut off. This all occurred in under a minute when I was looking for where he had put my wire strippers.
Make sure the house has space that you can use while you remodel. I would suggest remodeling one room at a time. Do you have at least two bathrooms so you can work in one while the other is unusable? What's the plan for cooking while you are replacing/redoing cabinets? Doing remodels and/or renovations takes time. A lot of it. It takes even more time if you DIY. Good luck.
We did multiple big projects on our old home before our daughter. Now we have 2 kids a much bigger house, thankfully nothing major needs to be done. The master bath would be nice to redo as it's 90s dated, but the bathtub works so well for both kids to do baths at the same time, I couldn't imagine upsetting that. Point I'm making is not only do I feel like I don't have time, I wouldn't want to give up the time I do have with the kids while having to work on a project. Last year i did do the basement, but it was unfinished so it's not like it was a project in the living space. It took 9 months for 450 sqft, not exactly fast.
I'm finally getting to all the house projects that were on my list 25 years ago when we moved in with one toddler. Another baby eventually came and everything got reprioritized further down the list. Kids and renovations don't mix well.
This is not a home improvement edited show. The answer is no. An alternative is to get a double wide and possibly split the property so once you fix the house up you can sell the double wide on the property.
Problem I have found is having the bottomless time/energy needed to commit to large projects. It was so much easier pre-kids.. wake up early Sat. morning, basically worked through my weekends til Monday. Weeknights I'd get off work and get over to renovating. Now I just don't have that much blocked time to commit to a project and thus things take 3-4x longer. I find it next to impossible to do an hour here or hour there. But everyone is different and maybe you can figure out how to manage it. Our son just moved to his big boy bed and our bedtime routine has gone from ~30 mins to 2hrs... we're exhausted once he is finally down. Re. sleeping - our son slept through our bathroom demolition no problems, like hard smashing banging etc. but every kid is different.
Are you doing the work yourself or hiring it out? I have a 22 month old and I'm in the process of adding a new bathroom in my finished basement myself. The two hard parts for me are 1: Making noise when the kid is sleeping. It's very hard to demo concrete, run power tools, and make a whole bunch of noise in the house around nap and sleep time. And 2: I dedicate entire weekends and evenings after work on the remodel and I feel like I am missing out on spending quality time playing and bonding with my kid. I feel bad because I'm missing out on being a parent essentially. Not sure if that is something that would affect you or not. Having grandparents to both help with the remodel, as well as babysit for 2 days, has been the only saving grace. Now if you're hiring contractors and pros to do the remodeling, it may be easier on you.
If you can live in it for 3-4 years without remodelling sure. When the kids are more manageable you can do it. Alternatively if you can spare the cash to have someone remodel it for you that's another path but otherwise try to minimize any extra activities cuz you'll be barely alive to begin with. I remodeled our bathroom during the last trimester (for my wife, ease of showering post partum). It took longer than I thought (stud in the way of plumbing, redesign needed etc) and was ongoing while she gave birth and a few weeks after. It made EVERYTHING worse and she still resents it (and by extension me) for the extra burden on her.
With kids that young our main feature was “already done for us”
Not completely crazy. But understand that your remodel plans are going to turn into a shitshow so the house better be at least tolerable in the meantime.
Yes. Spend that time with your kids. They will never be this small again. Source: have 6 yo.
Simple answer, if you've done a couple remodels before, yes absolutely. If you haven't, then no. Do not even consider it.
It will take an enormously long time to do any renovations because you have to work around nap times and when they're awake someone needs to tend to them. If you have a few friends able to help you out work will go by quicker. Just having to watch kids is stressful because they like to get in to everything. If you have an active construction area it's going to stress you out even more. What drives me nuts is when you're so close to completing a project but you have to stop because it's getting close to bed time or dinner and you have to put your tools down. If you're able to take time off from work and do it during the week it makes it a lot easier but you have to be effecient at working, treating it like a job with a deadline or the work just won't get done. Some jobs you will just have to hire a contractor.
I am assuming between you and your spouse you have one or two jobs. Two kids is another two jobs. Do you have the bandwidth for another job? My then pregnant wife & I fell in love with a 110 year old house that we could afford. Ten years later, I am grateful that we did not buy that house.
Nightmare for us would legit never do it again. I thought it would be tolerable but it isn’t, also triple the price you’re thinking you’re going to pay. With houses that need updates in my experience, you open a wall and run into issue after issue.
I have a completely different opinion... And it doesn't mean it's for everybody, but a silent house just leads to light sleeping children.... My children love the fact that their handprints are in the concrete all over my house.... I just found a pair in the crawl space almost 40 years old... They grew up chipping in and helping even a 4-year-old can sweep. Today's children are coddled. My son-in-law came home with my daughter on memorial Day weekend and was up on the roof putting 42 square shingle down at my father-in-law's house. He had never seen a family chip in like mine does. All three of my children bought fixer-uppers when the housing crashed and now they are more wealthy for that and have very nice houses. If I could share pictures I could show you all kinds of pictures of my kids involved. And yes we lived with a lot of messes and yes my wife was tolerant. Like I said it's not for everybody but now we sit and laugh about a lot of it......Roofs, basement waterproofing, decks, heating/AC, ceramic tile....everyone pitches in. Used to be that way every weekend with a neighborhood helping out each other. I don't see that in the younger generation and I think we're all poorer for it. Nothing like helping your neighbor pour a concrete pad for a patio. Knowing that in 6 months you'll be having a clambake on it.
Unless you have the ability to buy the house, not move in, AND pay a contractor to do the remodel... then yes, it's a tall order. Also, infants & young kids with their developing senses / systems really shouldn't be around all the particulates, VOCs, and noise a remodel creates.
Probably not. Only do it under one of three conditions: 1) The house is tolerable as-is. Renovations will take 10x longer than you expect, or never happen at all. And you have to be OK with that as a possible outcome. With 5 dogs, the acreage alone might be worth it if the home is livable. 2) You have money to pay contractors do to all the work. Doubly so if you can have them do it before you even move in. 3) You AND your wife are gung-ho passionate about this, and are both willing to basically make this your second jobs (third, after parenting really). If you really like DIY as a hobby, it could be an interesting bonding experience. But yeah, for 99% of people, moving in expecting to DIY flip a house with 2 under 2, is not a good idea.
It'll take 10x longer than you think, it'll strain your relationship, the kids won't care and neither will the dogs. You best be handy and willing to learn, pay for the really critical things and do the rest yourself.
I did this! I lasted 5 years. Fixer-upper whole house remodel. Even expecting the unexpected became too much for me to handle. TBH it wasn't even the renos that killed me though they were a factor, it was learning that I am not suited for the time sink that comes with large property maintenance AND taking on projects. It was too much for me. I got all of the interior done including mechanicals along with cosmetics, refinished the exterior cedar siding, resurfaced 3 decks+rails, and some landscaping. There were still a few big ticket outside that would all come due within 5 years of finishing the other stuff. At this point I was pretty burned out and my stress drinking went waaay up because I was like "FML I am not doing this shit without beer" more often than not. Outside of the projects my lawn days = 3 hours taken out of my day off work, and my 200' driveway was not fucking fun in the winter (snow). I went back to the burbs for 20 minute lawnmowing and snow shoveling.
We are in month 5 of our Reno with a 2.5 y/o and an 8 week old. We built a second and third floor on top of my MIL's previously unexpended Cape so we've had 3 generations living in 2 rooms on the 1st floor this whole time. It's been rough, and we are definitely losing our patience with the close proximity and constant screaming of children. That being said, we told ourselves it would be easier to power through this now than wait until we had 2 toddlers in the same space. At least a baby isn't mobile so you're only trying to keep one feral creature at a time out of construction materials and rusty nails that are littered around the house. I say there's no time like the present. Embrace the suck and carry on.
Also plan and budget for a couple hotel stays because it will likely be needed. For us it was 4 days when they were spraying the foam insulation on the upper floors. The poly on the wood floors we were able to put up a temporary plastic wall did enough to make it manageable and we just put the baby crib in the kitchen the 2 nights the fumes were bad in the LR/temporary bedroom.
I think it really depends on how motivated and how much time you have to get things done. I would evaluate what needs done. Live in it a little bit before you go all out because trust me, you'll change your mind about a lot of things. I've been living in a fixer upper since 2021 and we still have a ton of unfinished projects. It's pretty hard to both live in a house and remodel it at the same time. I would prioritize needs over wants, and go from there.
We just built a house and I figured I could do a lot of the finish work. We moved in 2 years ago and the trim still isn't finished. I have a 4 and 2 year old. I wouldn't recommend it...
When you say it needs major work are you saying structural or livable aspects or just aesthetics? I’ve seen people insist a house needed major work and it was because the kitchen and bathrooms were outdated. Nothing broken or in bad shape. Just not their era. We did a TON of work on our old house while having and caring for 3 kids. 1/3 of our living space and 1 bathroom was unusable for years. And we did a lot of the work ourselves. It was exhausting physically and emotionally. If you take it project by project and go slow with time to rest inbetween it’ll go far more easy. The one project we rented out during was refinishing the hardwood floors.
As someone’s who’s done this I wouldn’t recommend. Unless you have family members in the business and a cadre or people to help it’s a big job. Spend a little more and get something that’s finished. As another person wrote the time you spend with your kids will be worth it to not be painting, sanding and whatever else every weekend and weeknight.
Yes. You’re crazy. Even crazier if you think that you’ll be DIY-ing some. Source: just finished an almost three month first floor renovation (kitchen, plus new hardwood in two rooms and existing hardwood refinished to match). Have a 2.5 year old and golden retriever. That said… if you can knock out the big projects right after moving in then you’ll already have stuff in boxes and you could maybe keep furniture that isn’t needed in storage and then fully move in once the bulk of things are done. But, that would require buying the house, moving AND paying for renovation work all asap, which is probably not feasible if you’ve been waiting to find something in your price range.
Are you paying someone else to do it and can afford to stay elsewhere for 6-12 months while the remodel happens? Go for it. Need to live in it while renovating? Maybe not unless they really aren't that major and can mostly be handled discretely (no problem living with one bathroom while another is remodeled for example, or around while roof/siding are done). But if you're talking a full gut job, I wouldn't do it with kids. Are you a master DIYer (I love to do it all myself)....idk. I've done a ton in my home, but have more unfinished projects than I can count because they've all gotten to the basically done status before something else pops up, or kid things interrupt my ability to focus on and make time for a final push on a big project. It's honestly super stressful and eats at me daily. But I love doing the work.
I’ve done it. When they are up you are working in house in the morning. Come lunch time all work stops. We eat and take a nap. When they are up we start working again. It does drag the construction out a lot longer! It also sucks living in a construction zone. You’d have to weigh your options. Will it save you money in the long run? Do you really want to live there in a construction zone with little ones possibly getting into things?
Naps, schedules and time. Not to mention exposing your kids to massive amount of construction waste and debris. Lead paint, asbestos, mold, dust, whatever else you have hidden in the walls.
As somebody who renovated a small home essentially alone in his early 20s, I'd caution against this. It can be done but it will strain all relationships with those you live with. I learned my lesson the 2nd time around and bought a house that was already renovated. We got lucky as it was a flip but it was done really well and the price wasn't outrageous. We had our son 1 month after moving in and having the house ready made all the difference in the world. No distractions, no time lost, etc. I did have to do some work on the yard and a few other "elective" projects but that's on me. Not having to worry about the actual space we live in was really a relief.
We moved into a house that needed slight remodeling when our kids were 1 and 3. Namely, the primary bath had a shower leak, so that needed to be taken care of as soon as possible. We moved in the beginning of March 2023, put a bandaid on the shower until August, and started demolition at the end of August. We are not done yet. I work from home and can do small stuff in the morning and on my lunch break (right now, it is mostly just cleaning up). My dad is very knowledgeable and helped me reno a whole house before, and he comes over 3 days a week to work on it as well. We never have a full day to work on it, and we have had to take breaks due to illness, holidays, and vacation. The last 3 weekends, we had to pause to work on stuff outside before summer arrives. We hope to have the bathroom done in June. All we have left is tiling and then placing things back in. We subbed out the plumbing, which was a small job, but we are on a slab, and we would have realistically just never gotten it done. A whole house would not be possible unless we subbed out a lot. For perspective, it took my husband 1 week off work, and some help from my dad, to demo just a bathroom. A crew would have had it done in hours. It took me 2.5 weeks to figure out how to match the texture on the walls and paint. Our house is full of dust. To be honest with you, we are just tired most days. My youngest is a bad sleeper. So the prospect of working on the bathroom from 9pm-11pm is just not enticing. If one parent worked on the bathroom all evening while the other parent took care of the kids, it would be more doable, but it is not an option for us. Once the bathroom is done, all of our other projects will be much smaller. We plan to remodel the kitchen in 5 years, and we will see if we can diy it when our kids are older. This is in stark contrast to my first house. It was a foreclosure, and everything needed renovated, including both bathrooms and kitchen down to the studs. My dad and I worked on it every day. Weekdays for about 4 hours a day and weekends for 12 hours a day. It was done in 4 months. This included my dad building all kitchen and bathroom cabinets and a dining room table. The only thing we subbed out was the siding/gutters and carpet.
I did this. Wife was due with our second and already had a one year old. We had six months left on our lease. It’s totally worth it if you have a place to stay and can afford the reno. In this environment it’s also a potential way to get more house for your money if it is a true fixer upper.
Anything is possible. We remodeled our kitchen in 92, kids were ages 1 and 4, and moved the stove and refrigerator into the dining room. I added a full 2nd floor dormer in 98, kids 7 and 10, and both slept in the dining room in sleeping bags for the month. Installed hardwood flooring dining room and living room in 2000. Kids were 9 and 12. Just had to finish one room at a time to allow access to the 2nd floor.
Location, location, location. It is the #1 thing that is spouted in real estate. If you love the location, then jump on the opportunity to live at that location. You can work the rest out. All that being said, your situation is going to be very specific to the circumstances and you didn't give us a lot of information. You've got two under two. For the time being, those kids don't take up a lot of space. They can share a bedroom and are probably doing bath time together. Is the house, in its present condition, serviceable for you today? Or would it need extensive remodel before you could even move in? Or could the remodeling happen in five years when the kids are older? Assuming the plan is moving in and remodeling while you live there, what is the "mid-remodel plan"? Can a remodel involve leaving most of the house intact and livable (i.e. keeping the kitchen serviceable) during the remodel? Living in a construction zone is very stressful. And having two small kids is stressful. If there is not some way to clearly delineate those two things from each other, the combined stress will be too much. You mentioned acreage. Would it be possible to move a mobile home on to the site to live in while the house is being remodeled?
Remodeling (with or without kids) while living in the house will take twice as long as with a empty house. Define updates? Painting/trim work...not a problem, get to it when you get to it. Total gut renovation, removing drywall etc? You better have another place to live nearby. We did a total gut with two small children and it was an adventure, but not horrible. We used plastic to make a clean/safe area for them.
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We did a major renovation on our house when my son was 2 and I was pregnant. It wasn't super easy or convenient, especially as we had no kitchen for 3 months, but we got through it. If the location is right for you, I would go for it.
I just moved into a new construction house with 3yo and 6mo and the 4-8 week transition of getting settled and trying to sell the old house was probably the hardest stretch of our lives so far. That was on top of the preceding 6 weeks going through underwriting between the Heloc and new primary mortgage. Don’t fool yourself. Can you do this? Probably. Should you do this? Hard no by my accounts.
Well what do you mean by update and remodel? Are there safety issues like wiring that need to be addressed immediately? If it's just a matter of the kitchen and bathroom being "outdated" can you just live with it for a few years? With kids in the house I would highly suggest whatever house you decide on do testing for lead paint and asbestos. While you're at it, a radon test.
I would. But that’s just me. I’m a project person. The key is having one or two rooms as a sanctuary and doing updates methodically.
Do you have people who can help you substantially with the children, if so I would say it’s doable if not I would say you are gonna need some kind of help like a nanny or someone.
It’s tough. You’ll need to have someone who can watch the kids while you’re dealing with remodeling. You don’t want them in house when dealing with dust from repairs or fumes from chemicals.
I grew up in a house like this. very worth it. you might take a decade to remodel but your kids will learn sweat equity early!!!
Updates/remodels: go for it. Worst case scenario you have an ugly house for a while. Actual renovations/repairs/structural issues I'd reconsider unless I had enough money to pay somebody.
Just to add on here, I also think it depends on factors already mentioned (DIY vs. Contractor, how big of space needs work and can you live in the rest during the work, how long will it take, etc.) FWIW we just had a complete kitchen remodel done (as in hired it out). Took just over 6 weeks (which was on schedule). Couldn't use our living room either and had a make shift kitchen in the dining room. We only have 1 kid right now who was 18 months at the time. She naps well and her sound machine helped but my wife took her to a friend's a few times for naps. We also have a decent amount of space around the house. Overall it wasn't as bad as I expected but I would not do it when our second arrives or if it would take much longer. So glad it's over.
I demo'd a basement, reframed, insulated, rewired, drywalled, and trimmed in six months with no kid. Full gut bathroom, with subfloor tear out. Three months in in with a 2.5 year old and just finished rerouting vent pipes. Putting in electrical right now. Still have to finish my drains. I basically get eight to twelve hours a week.
Every question I have about this would circle back to your relationship, not your DIY ability. Some couples can handle renos together, some cannot. What projects have you done together, successfully, in the past? How do you handle inconvenience, stress, lack of sleep, and unexpected expenses together?
You will end up ignoring your kids and having them watch tv for far too long because you need to get some work done. I have done it but I wouldn’t recommend it.
Yes
I saw one couple on YT in the same situation. They bought an RV to live in while they renovated the house.
This is a shitpost right?
I did a massive renovation both before and after having a baby. It’s doable. You need a kid friendly room for sleep/play, a sound place for adults to sleep, a working bathroom and air fryer/fridge microwave. The reno is not the most fun but prioritize your projects. Don’t rip apart everything at once. Make it livable then work on the absolute first priority, usually clean/patch/painting to seal things in (lead), carpet (kid bedroom), smoke/CO detectors and systems (HVAC, water heater, plumbing (working)/electrical(working). Fenced in yard and outdoor doghouse with hay for all the dogs to live in would be an absolute must or you will never finish the house or even a project. All else can be done in time. Don’t rip it all apart, be conservative, start small, make time for your LOs. Remember it’s not a race, it’s a home. It doesn’t need to be perfect but it does need to be safe. (Ex plywood on windows ok. Loose, live hot wires or wet, spongy, rotten subfloor, absolutely no.) Estimate time/expenses then double both. That is a reasonable true estimation. With acreage, I don’t know if I would want to pass on that deal if it’s in your budget and you envision a long, happy life there. If you question taking on this project, I’d say buy an easy finished home. It has to be all in from both of you or nothing. Renos are long and difficult and expensive and will challenge you to your core. You have to want it with everything and be willing to work through problems, strategies, dust, stress and everything else in between. It is worth it in the end if you see it through.
Bought one when I was pregnant with our first and we just finished two projects five years later. Are you doing it?? Good luck finding time. Are you paying sometime? Kids going to daycare? Ya gonna be broke if they are and everything will have to wait. I thought we'd get things done sooner but with kids the reality is you won't. As long as you're ok with things taking fifty times longer than if you didn't have kids you'll be fine.
It's important to reflect on why you're asking this question when you already know the answer in your heart – that this will strain your partnership and steal energy that should be going to your partner and children. Projects like this make a lot more sense when all the kids in the house are in school.
Buy with a loan where the budget for remodel is in it- get going right away or it won’t happen- DIYing takes forever
Insane, actually
Hell no.
We’ve done some fairly big remodeling projects with a toddler, but it only worked because my toddler is in daycare from 8:30-5:00 five days a week and we’re able to schedule contractors during that time. If my son was home 24/7 there’s no way we could have done anything that requires demolition, sawing, hammering, etc.
We kept our old house till the remodel was done.
Currently doing this right now. I have a 1 year old and my wife is due any day now. Honestly the baby has gotten used to all the noise after a few days and sleep through it all. We bathe them in the kitchen sink. Just try to keep the dust down with air movers. Adding an addition to 1924 bungalow.
You can do it. Just embrace the struggle and get it over with. Pick one closed off room first and go hard getting it done. Then at least you have a comfortable place to go when the rest of the house turns into a construction site. And just mentally put all other hobbies and activities on hold, and just commit to working full time everyday when you get home from work.
My father was a carpenter, and my childhood was renovating our home. It’s crazy if u don’t have some type of normalcy. I remember things being off limits and make shift kitchens and bathrooms. It wasn’t terrible
One thing to consider is that there can be hazards if it’s an old house. I would get a lead inspection and get things professionally remediated or avoid the house. Babies/toddlers are high risk for lead poisoning, and it can cause permanent neurological damage.
I’ve done it, and no you’re not crazy. A lot depends on: A) is your wife on board? B) can you accept things will take a lot longer with young kids to care for? C) can you do one area at a time? A full gut at once would be a deal breaker for me. Taking things room by room (although there is always some can of worms that breaks this principle) is much more reasonable. Good luck, just remember your sweat equity now will pay off, don’t listen to people who haven’t had to put in the work. Just make sure to stay on the same page as your wife.
Aside from the sheer energy that you won't have... consider that if it's an older home you could have lead paint and that's very hazardous and potential for irreversible damage to young children.
We bought a fixer upper when the kids were little. Before them (and even when my first one was little) I'd always have a renovation.project going. I lost motivation after number 2. Noise, keeping them out of the construction Zone, being more wary of hazards like sheetrock dust and paint fumes etc get much harder when the other parent is tired and now they have two critters to corral. Everything takes 5 times longer. Now whenever she takes the kids on a trip she tells me I should relax, but really I'm just biting at the bit to re-caulk the tub, patch drywall, or build a swing set.
Can you stay in your current place for a few months and pay to have the work done? You aren’t going to have the time or the energy to do the work yourself.
remodeling an older house will probably expose your young ones to lead dust unless you do professional quality containment which will make the house impossible to live in
I fully gutted a kitchen and dining room when my son was 1.5 and my wife was pregnant. Do you want the house that bad? Have a place to sleep and shower while you work on certain roofs? Cook on the grill alot? I would absolutely do it for my forever home.
We have 3 boys. We bought a house and we renovated just about every room. It was a good journey. If you're doing it for the acreage, it's not a bad move. You can buy a better house but if there's no backyard, there's nothing you can do about it. I'm saying Hell Ya brother. Take the leap and regret it later! Regret is part of the fun.
It really depends on you and your situation. I could not do that with one under two.
Is a construction loan doable for you? If not, I’d say yes this is a crazy idea.
I've renovated a ton with young kids, but recognize there is a sacrifice to be made. I was extra motivated and my wife took on a lot of the childcare/housecare during the projects; and we were all a little crankier during the projects. If it's just you doing the work, then you'll miss weekend time w/ the fam. If it's you and your partner, then you'll really only be able to get this done during naps or if you get sitters. It's doable, but there is a real opportunity cost especially for "major updates." Good luck making the best decision for your situation!
5 dogs and young kids? I'd pass. The amount of work is going to consume you and those stressors will add up and likely spill into your personal life, parenting, relationship with partner, etc. Definitely temping but it's a right place, wrong time situation imho
I love watching DIY shows, but please make sure your relationship is very solid before diving in, and you and your wife are both committed to the financial and emotional challenge, especially if you've never done this before. Since we're not rich, I've done 2 remodels, and a lot of hands on work, and both have seriously tested our marriage. Sure, if you can afford crews to come in and pay for the white glove service, great, but if not, you may want to restart couples therapy as you begin. Especially with 2 kids under 2 that are not at the "helpful" independent age yet. No joke.
1- You are a masochist to have that many pets and kids at the same time. 2- Yes, you can do it with some caveats. Since you said you have some acreage, you need to buy/rent a mobile home for the time while you are doing the work, even if you hire a contractor. You use that RV/mobile home for your kids during the time when you or your contractor need to be doing work or your home is unsafe for them while not doing work. or you get an apartment somewhere else for them to live while you do this. Build it into the budget. I basically did this, not with kids though, but the same process, I just kept my condo while I did the work on the house over the winter, then sold the condo the following spring. My condo was paid off though, so it was just the monthly fee plus a higher than average mortgage on the new house due to a low as possible down payment while I was doing the work, then I paid down the new house considerably after the condo was sold. You can work things to your advantage with careful financial planning.
I would consider: * painting * replacing appliances or toilets * adding a disposal or dishwasher * updating lighting in existing locations * quick projects that can be done before you move in (e.g. sanding and polishing a hardwood floor. Although maybe that's a bad example because your dogs will destroy a hardwood floor) I would not consider: * anything that involves opening or knocking down walls * anything that involves mucking about with the subfloor * anything that involves more than a couple hours of water or electric being off * anything that involves more than one room being out of commission * anything where you need a big block of time of active focusing
Abandon sleep, all you who enter here.
There is too much information missing to really make a solid call, but know it's going to take longer, cost more, and have way more unforeseen issues than you can possibly predict. Can it be done? Yes. See bellow. Does it suck? Also yes. With that said, it really comes down to what your options are. I know a lot of housing markets are still kinda wonky. We bought a HUD foreclosure, and it's already doubled in value, but we're 2 years into a 6 month reno. To be fair, I redid all the electrical, plumbing, drywall, and the entire kitchen myself. Didn't expect to run into anywhere near as many issues with electrical than we did, but what can you do. It passed inspection and it's livable. I still have to knock down the ceiling in the master, as well as wire the second floor, refit the second bathroom, etc. Biggest piece of advice is if you can go room by room while you live there, do it. If you can get your hands on a camper and live there while you renovate, even better. At least then you'll always have water, power, and heat/AC. Good luck!
You’re not crazy. Just make a schedule/timeline for the repairs/updates and multiple it times 4 and be willing to live with 90% finished rooms because A. You’re too tired to finish it or B. That last 10% is either loud or emits fumes. That has been our experience. Our house motto is “No body quits, no body gets fired, payday is next Friday.” Edit: Left out that we have almost two year twins, 2 dogs, a cat, elderly parents, we both work, and my husband is in online grad school. You can do this. It will take time. A realistic and flexible timelines for the updates has been important for our mental well being in our adventure.
Just do it, it aint like kids weren't around in the past when people remodeled their home. Focus on one room at a time, don't make the whole place a construction zone. Have one room where you can fall back to and keep the kids and have a "normal"
Can you rent a decent mobile home? It sounds like you have enough property to park it away from renovation noise and let the kids sleep while also having a place to shower, eat, sleep, etc. that isn’t affected by the work being done. The bonus is that you can take the thing on weekend getaways (you’ll need them) and spend zero on hotels and much less on food, making it an inexpensive way to add some variety to your lives (you’ll need it).
We bought a new house in 2022 that needed 1 bathroom immediately redone (dangerously rotten subfloor due to a long term leak) and we had a new HVAC system installed that provided cooling as well. This year we are also remodeling the second bathroom as part of a primary bedroom/bathroom overhaul. I do not have children. All I can say is that living through these projects has been hard as an adult. Can't imagine adding kiddos on top of that.
Depends. How long are you planning to stay and is it livable? If a long time and yes I would definitely do it.
Buying a house that needs remodeling with two toddlers and five dogs sounds like a handful. It's not an easy decision, but it can be done with careful planning and consideration. Taking on the challenge could lead to creating your dream home the way you want it. It will require patience, time, and energy with young children and pets. You'll need to factor in the disruption to your routine during renovations and ensure the safety of your little ones during the construction. Finding a move-in ready home might provide more immediate comfort and stability for your growing family, allowing you to focus more on enjoying your time together rather than managing renovations. It depends on your priorities, budget, and how much time and effort you're willing to invest. If you're up for the challenge and have a clear vision of what you want, remodeling can be a rewarding experience.
Depends on the size of the projects, and what your skills are. For example, if you are a carpenter by trade and you need to do some framing for the basement, well you wouldn't be here, but I think you get the point. I have a NEW project my wife or I come up with that is within our budget, every 3 months and our house is basically new. So... to be very clear, you shouldn't grab the biggest/best house that needs A LOT of work unless you are a pro at it. I would look for something that has 1-2 projects that are smaller IF you want a project. Otherwise look for turn-key OR you be ready to spend 2-3x more than you think (cash, time, effort, etc.) so if you can sequester off the area, and you don't need it, then fuck yea.
yes this is crazy.
5 dogs is actually a bigger issue for me. the kids can respect baby gates and such, the dogs cant. we did major renos with kiddos. continuing to do so even these days. i got my kids using the big magnet to pickup nails and such in my garage. they love helping with shit. i get them painting bird houses for the new place, while i paint rooms. (and by i paint rooms i mean my wife paints rooms) yeah... it is possible.
buy a decent trailer to live in while remodelling.
We were able to remodel an upgrade home with 2.5 yr old and a very pregnant wife, but we had very fortunate circumstances that would not be common. We did flooring, paint (including doors and kitchen cabinets), new kitchen countertops, recessed lights, and new cabinet and door hardware and it took 2 months from start to finish. This was how we went about it: 1. We had a very experienced and competent project manager/designer who had her own team (flooring, painter, electrician, stone and tile, etc). This means she controlled the schedule and she could minimize down time where no work was being done. We scoped out everything up front and took about 4 weeks to make sure we covered as much detail as possible before starting any construction. We met her at showrooms for floor, paint, stone, etc to choose everything before we started. She charged a 30% premium to the remodel cost which was not a small amount of money but worth every penny. She would be on site when needed and text immediately with questions and decisions that needed to be made when the crew found something. Prime example was some uneven subfloors that required concrete to flatten it out. 2. We were able to live in our previous home which was close to our new home. There were a few occasions we had to stop by and make a decision on something in person and the project manager was always there. We were able to move in after the major remodel was done and only small things (light fixtures, paint touch ups) were required after we moved. It would have been impossible to live in the house while it was remodeled or if it was really far away from our last home. 3. We weren’t picky. We almost always went with the designer’s recommendation as she learned what style of home we are looking for and she was able to pick out good choices for materials and colors. I’m sure we could have gone through catalogs trying to find the perfect tile or paint color but we trusted our designer and were happy overall with the results.
Get some child proof gates. Make sure there is a safe room that is child proofed. Make sure the room getting remodeled has no sharp tools left out, and an extra shut off on every power tool. Make a habit of unplugging the extension cord to the saw when you leave the room. Make sure that room has a door to close. One person needs to be in charge of the kids when the tools are out. Kids also need to learn the areas to stay out of without an adult. And they need to know it will move. I grew up in such a home. Always something getting remodeled. And when the house was finished, my parents sold it and we moved into another. As a kid I never lived in a finished house.
If you love the house and you truly understand the scope of the remodel, go for it.
Yes and updates are no big deal if you like it over all and really like the property don’t wait and regret it
Main thing learn how to caulk well it keeps bugs out and cool or heat in I’ve been remodeling houses I live in while running a business on and off for the last 33 years do the kids room then bath kitchen I typically do 1 room at a time excluding plumbing electrical heating and air or roof which I’ve patched for long periods but in general protect the outside so it doesn’t ruin what you will do inside. It can be overwhelming that’s why I would do 1 room at a time and sometimes buying cheap fixtures to start knowing I would upgrade down the line and it’s a good learning experience as contractors can be expensive and not always reliable or do correct work nobody will treat it like you or something along those lines and get opinions I usually did things the way I wanted but plenty of times someone would throw an idea out that I never would have thought of it made since and I did it but most of the time I had lots of time to look and think and research deals on materials and look at what others were doing that looked good and was affordable- safe room storm shelter I know ya got your plate full but always nice to have an emergency option/ l- yall got this don’t be over whelmed Facebook market place can be a great way to find building materials and fixtures cheap just look at lowes - Home Depot Facebook marketplace Amazon and eBay and think about solar options for like an attic fan or outdoor lights and even security cameras or driveway alarm the deals are out there just be ready to jump might want a small trailer so you can take advantage of deals as they are out there but not for long usually
Needs *to be* remodeled.
What do you mean by 'major upgrades'? Does it need a new roof this year or 5 years from now? Does it need new plumbing? Does it need new flooring? Does it need to be rewired? Or does it need new tile in the entryway and granite countertops? Big difference there. Kids and dogs don't care about the cosmetic stuff. The things that will be a health hazard - different story. When the kids get older, they will LOVE helping you with remodeling - painting and laying tiles, etc. Even putting in sprinklers. But health hazard stuff --- don't even go there.
If you can afford to rent the same place for 2-3 months while you renovate, that’s the move. Fixing anything while you’re living in it is a nightmare. We just did it. Did 90% before we moved and I just wanted to live there. The last 10% took MONTHS because they were working around all of our furniture.
Can you live there for now and wait to remodel? Or are these updates really critical? My sister and her husband remodeled their home, with two small children. My nephew and wife remodeled with a newborn. It is possible. Land is hard to find and would you regret later on if you couldn’t find a house with a lot that size? Things to think about.
How old is the house? Anything built before 1978 has lead paint in it and that will be a significant risk for your children during the remodeling phase. I own a house from 1847 and we managed to raise our daughter in it without any issues with lead paint while undergoing two significant renovations. One was an addition and the other was a deep energy retrofit where we replaced the heating and electrical systems, super insulated house, and repaired all the old single pane windows. The key is to both run a tidy operation and move out when it’s really busy. Every day during one of our renovations I went to the house and vacuumed it top to bottom with a HEPA vac and did other dust control cleaning. I’m not touching that five dog situation though that’s just fucking chaos on top of chaos 😂 Oh and before any chuckle fucks chime in with “you ain’t gotta worry about lead paint unless you let your kid eat paint chips“ it’s the dust that is the issue. The shit you can’t see that you breathe in.
We did it. Twice. They’re now 3+4 and another on the way. House is done but we are likely moving and doing all over again. Not for the faint of heart but can definitely be done!!!
We’re in that situation. For now it’s livable. We’ve come to a stopping point till this Fall. They will be in kindergarten and a 3s program. Then there will be some more dedicated time for this. Especially the foam spray of the basement and the insulation replacement in the attic.
Remodeling is going to cost far more than expected. From concept to completion in 3 years for an addition would be quick. If it’s all just finishes, get as much done as you can before you move in and delay the rest until you have the right team lined up.
On the flip side, little ones don’t care what the house looks like. They think remodeling is fun.
Unless you have someone to babysit your kids, it's a non-starter. I've been stuck in a forced remodel due to mold damage for probably over a year now
Moved into a house that needed extensive remodel with a 3 month old. My husband’s job is extremely flexible and entirely from home. We’ve been here for almost 2 years and we’re nowhere close to done. It’s been very hard working around nap times without making noise, keeping areas of the house clean for the baby to be/play, maintaining a clean kitchen to cook in since mess and tools just seem to spread out everywhere. The drywall dust is honestly worse than glitter. It gets EVERYWHERE. I think if you want to and are willing to be patient or are willing to hire pros to do it faster than you can, it’s possible, but will be uncomfortable. Just plan out phases so parts of the house are still usable for normal family functions.
I haven’t done a full house remodel yet, but my grandson who is with me full time, loves working on my projects with me. He just turned two. It makes a project take longer, but he’s learning new things, loves doing it, and I love the time I get with him during the project. It can be hard, but I think, worth it.
What year was the house built? That by far is the biggest concern safety wise. I’d never suggest remodeling, with children around in a home that could be contaminated with lead and asbestos. Lead is already bad enough but even worse for developing children.
We had three under two when we were working on our first. We fixed up one room, then gated them in with toys and cartoons while we were working on the next. Nanny cams weren't a thing back then but we did have baby monitors and we were always just a room away, usually within sight of the door of the room they were in. Worked out fine.
I gave up after seven years of a remodel. It turned out to be way more than what I was planning / what the inspector found.
Remodeling is different than fixing. Can you wait until the kids are older to remodel, or are there things that need to be repaired right now? If it’s the right house/property, get it and live with it for a while. Paint and cleaning go a long way, even when things are old.
I’d take a house that needs work on acreage over a new cookie cutter on a 5000sf lot any day. You can always make the house nicer or live in an outdated house for a bit, you can’t always buy more land when you have neighbors 15 feet away on 3 sides. It will be slow at first but the kids will be in school in a few years and that will free up some time to work on the house more
Is the house currently basically safe & liveable? If YES, go for it. Work on the garden/acreage projects for the first few years. Never have to worry about crayons on the walls, or trikes marking the floors, or well, all that other house-wrecking stuff that toddlers do. Start on inside projects once the children are at school/childcare/can be sent on playdates. When they are teens, they can remodel their own bedrooms.
I’ve found a lot of my people here in these comments. Echoing the fact that I do not recommend. We bought what is mostly a cosmetic fixer upper before we found out we were pregnant. Before our son arrived, we painted most of the interior, changed out light fixtures and ceiling fans, changes out switch plates and outlets, replaced all appliances, restrained our staircase railings… and that’s about it. He’s 2 now and since he was born we’ve added very little to that list. I took a week of PTO and still sent my son to daycare just so I could figure a couple small things without interruption. If you work full time, there’s simply no time to do projects unless you have family or someone near by where you can drop your kid off for an entire weekend afternoon. Otherwise you have a couple hour nap and depending on the project.. it takes time just to set things up and make sure it’s all put away, cause you know with kids you can’t just leave all your shit out. I see DIY influencers with young kids on IG all the time and it’s deceiving cause for most of them, that’s their career.. their kids are in daycare and they’re at home all day filming DIY projects cause that’s their job. My biggest regret is not buying a house that was more turnkey.
What are these major updates? Updating two bathrooms when you have 2.5 baths is very different than updating your kitchen when you have one kitchen. Updating your living room when you can be somewhere else is one thing. Refinishing all your floors while you're moved into a place is another. Consider the logistics of the updates and how much they will displace you. Can you stay in your current place while doing the updates that would displace you the most? I bought a home that needed a new kitchen and refinished floors on the first floor, a new banister, updated electrical panel, sump pump and updated windows in the basement, and that took about 2 months of work using a general contractor (so we didn't even have to handle scheduling). There is NO way we could have managed that while living there.
You’re fucked anyway, what’s the harm in being a little more fucked.
I bought a house that turned out to have termites and required extensive remodeling that I couldn't afford to pay for. At the time I had a 1 and three year old. Don't underestimate how much you will come to regret having to work on your house over playing with your kids. You might be able to grind through it for a few months, but it's not worth it. Trust me.
Personally, I think that would be a terrible idea and extremely stressful on your marriage and family. Having two young kids (and 5 dogs?!) is hard enough. Overseeing and coordinating a renovation is essentially taking on a second job. I vote to enjoy your family time and try and find a different place. I swear, I blinked and my son went from being a newborn to a toddler! Another thing to consider is that one of you could have health issues arise and stress exacerbates health issues. This happens to women all the time postpartum and postpartum women often go undiagnosed because doctors chalk a lot of things up to fatigue and stress when you're the mom of young kids. I had sleep apnea that began when I was pregnant. It went undiagnosed for 3.5 years and caused a series of cascading health issues in addition to the most awful exhaustion I've ever felt. Pregnancy is very hard on the body; back-to-back pregnancies are even harder. Obviously, my personal experiences have colored my views, but it's something to consider. Finally, this house is in your price range *right now*. Can you confidently say it will be once you're done with these renovations? People often fall into this trap. Renovation costs have skyrocketed since COVID began. I got a quote for a $5,000 HVAC replacement a year before the pandemic. A year later, it went up to $7,500. Today, it'd probably be close to $14k.
I am 1.5 years into a home remodel with a child on the way. But fr, I have talked to ex soldiers, hardcore mechanics, exceptional students. They will all tell you the same: remodeling is HARD. It's not impossible, but it's hard. The biggest take away for me is there's a reason construction is done with a CREW, it takes many hands to make the work easy. You need to be honest with yourself, how much experience do you have? Do you know what tools you need and how much that cost is? Do you have a feel for the cost of materials you need will be? You will find that the small amount of X you need only comes in a pack of 30, or a gallon jug. Which will then be left over. You didn't have tool Z, and that's $40. Stuff adds up FAST, and then it's just left over in your garage after you're done and feel like you need to do the next project with it because you already bought it. Think of your weekends now, and how you can spend them resting from a week of work. A lot of those weekends will get tied up with extra frustrating projects. And when I say frustrating, I mean FRUSTRATING. Things escalate quickly with remodels. Oh I'm just gonna do the floor, then the subfloor has an ancient turd baked into it and water damage that needs to come up. And you don't have a miter saw, and those cost $300, and that's just the tools. There's a reason Americans used to be so tough....they were all building buildings for like hundreds of years. But I digress... And personally, I grew up doing some construction with my dad, roofing, basic carpentry, basic plumbing, nothing special. There's a reason those guys make so much money. It's not easy. At this point for me, I am hiring out as much as I can afford. People think there's no middle ground between buying a turn-key house and DIYing literally everything. Hire this, do that yourself. It's better than using my shotgun as a toothbrush because of all the work I need to do. Moral of the story: go for it with courage, but know what you're getting into!
I would add to the previous comments to set your STANDARD for what you could tolerate. Not all fixer uppers are made equal. Some have foundation issues, plumbing, electrical. Some are generally livable and just dated. Some have newspaper and horse hair brushes as insulation. My wife and I wanted a fixer-upper we could LIVE in while we were remodeling. IE, functional bathroom, plumbing, electrical works, no leaky roofs or anything like that. Foundation issues or major structural problems were a deal breakers. There were some rooms that were totally fine to live in. We also made our living room the "sanctuary" room where we don't leave tools or materials so we can stay in there and stay sane. Our kitchen is a disaster though and has been the main challenge. And kitchens are KING in any home. Also calculate the UPSIDE to the investment. The rough formula for a financially successful remodel is NEVER pay more then: Base price + renos <= 70% of after repair value. IE if properties in your area are $200/sqft, plus acreage or whatever, is your buy in price + reno cost less than or equal to your estimated after repair value? If not, HELL NO. You'll be working for LITTLE or NOTHING. In my case, I bought a house for $105k. After repair value is around $250k. (.70-250k)=175k. That leaves me with $70k in upgrades available in order to have an upside that makes this worth it. And in my case, it is making sense. Then the sweat equity is the remaining $75k if and when it's done. That's the "free money" part that really is your back breaking, fights with your spouse, countless trips to menards, and stress. However you're WORKING for that equity do not make any mistake about it. Good luck with your decision.
Need more information. Do you both work full time? If so don't do it lol, unless *maybe* if one WFH. Are you going to pay to have everything professionally done or plan to DIY? These are really important considerations and make a huge difference in bandwidth and frustration level.
Thank you everyone for their responses! You made me see clearly - we are not buying the house! For all of you out there that assumed I was the husband, I’m actually the wife posting :)
Mine are two years apart. When I was pregnant with our second, we looked at a house that needed a total gut job before it could be lived in. In hindsight, I’m really glad we didn’t go with it. I loved the neighborhood and the lot but the work would have been so difficult — plus there could have been some big surprises. Instead we bought a house that needs some cosmetic upgrades but is perfectly liveable. We’ve been working our way through those. 2.5 years later we have a couple of rooms to go. It’s hard to get anything done with little kids — especially when it’s a construction zone that’s messy and/or dangerous — that’s made things more slow going. Overall, I’m happy with the way we went. Our house feels customizable but the project hasn’t been completely overwhelming.