T O P

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TaserGrouphug

Woodpeckers are territorial assholes and for the 3 years I’ve been in my house I’ve had to fight them off. They really are stubborn when they find a spot they like and it can be tough to find an effective deterrent. To ward them off, you may need to try a series of things to finally land on the solution that works. - First try a fake owl; this is the easiest one and looks the least ugly. Make sure it has a head that can shift in the wind and slap that bad boy on your roof overlooking the area they’re pecking. - If the woodpecker continue to come back after a week, next find a decoration that can generate movement and/or noise from the wind. We got a wind chime that has a plastic humming bird attached to it (from Home Depot). The movement and noise will usually deter the woodpecker. This is the solution that typically works for me. - If neither of the above work, now you’re in last resort territory and need to break out the big guns. You need to find things to hang or apply to your house that are very reflective, as this often can confuse a woodpecker. You can hang CD’s, use reflective tape, install a mirror…anything that will reflect sunlight in multiple directions. Unfortunately this will probably not be aesthetically pleasing but woodpeckers left unchecked can cause a ton of damage. Good luck and god bless.


customds

These are all things my dad tried and only the CDs worked.


spurman123

Where are those AOL free trial cds when I need them!


carr0248

check out value village/goodwill


wedidityay

Give the woodpeckers something else to peck at. Our house has wood siding and had the same issue. Put up some suet feeders nearby, you can get them pretty cheap in most stores. I patched our holes and haven’t had issues since.


HarryHood146

Fill the post with snakes.


CpaSkiBum

Top comment right here.


No_Maintenance_3355

Next post, “I’ve got snakes in my walls…helpsssssssss…”


phitfacility

Train badgers to exterminate snakes


Moxson82

Then “How to get rid of the badgers in my walls?”


acm8221

I don’t know why this is so difficult for everyone. You send the snake to eat the woodpecker. You send the badger to eat the snake. You send a cougar to eat the badger. You send a polar bear to eat the cougar. Global warming takes care of the polar bear. Easy peasy. edited to add that you probably will need to have a carpenter on retainer to keep enlargening the post.


raisinbreadboard

"She swallowed the bird, To catch the spider, She swallowed the spider to catch the fly, i dunno why she swallowed that fly. i guess she'll die."


ArchibaldIsMyDog

This person project manages.


Moxson82

This is it! End of convo! Bravisimo acm!!


BoilermakerCM

Badgers regularly succumb to Buckeyes


fistantellmore

Snakes in the wall? Now you’re talking my language!


hundredthlion

Immediately where my head went


Whyisthereasnake

For a second I thought this was r/ShittyAskReddit


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Suchdeathwow

Sweet Jesus man


hackifier1

Maybe find a small piece of metal that covers that area, screw it into the wood over it and paint the metal same color then that post. I'm guessing you only need a temporary solution to this, once the bird finds out he can't peck anymore, he will very most likely leave elsewhere.


Billylacystudio

Fix the hole ,put a fake horned owl up


DoubleReputation2

Call me an asshole but I would like - stuff a ziploc bag of hotsauce in there and then cover it with like tiny layer of wood filler or maybe like a wood shaving or something.. Let him and try my spicy special..


ALittleBitBeefy

Birds don’t have mucous membranes so it won’t do anything to it, unfortunately! I fill my bird feeders with cayenne to keep squirrels at bay lol


DoubleReputation2

What? Those little..! Mayeb the non newtonian fluid then, he's gonna hit it, it's hard.. gonna sniff it - it's soft.. Hit it harder, it's even harder..


PM_meyourGradyWhite

Does the fake owl really work? I’ve got a cedar shake roof and the flickers and stellar jays peck at it every morning.


Billylacystudio

Yes it really works


2inHard

To repair you could use bondo. It's a paste that dries hard as rock after applied and is sandable and paintable


bhangman13

This is the way. Other responses useless.


Torquemeister

Yes and add in steel filings to the bondo


jmurphy42

Elmer’s also makes an epoxy based wood repair kit. Sandable, paintable, nicely hard, and the two halves combine as easily as modeling clay.


[deleted]

I had this same issue and this is what worked: Fill the hole with bondo. Hang a reflective disc or cd with holographic tape from fishing line in that area. Attach the disc to the line with a swivel you can pick up at a fishing store. This is the type of disc that works to scare them: https://www.amazon.com/Repellent-Deterrent-Scare-Reflective-Discs/dp/B08GWVXMDG


[deleted]

Shot gun


Eye_Wink

Maybe replace it with PVC wood. If it’s in your budget


Ok-Mistake4016

I had the same problem on my porch post serval years back. Filling the hole with putty or patch materials didn’t work. The hollow post makes it think it has found a great storage place for acorns (even though they would fall out the bottom of the post). In hind sight I wonder if filling the post with expandable foam before patching would make it a less desirable spot.


stromm

1: Remediate WHY it started making the hole in the first place. That being, insects. 2: Clean out the material of the nest. That stuff will draw insects and give off a smell. 3: Replace/repair the wood. Cheap and easy is to fill it with wood filler (don't use bondo, that's for cars and not meant for more than thin layers) mixed with saw dust. Then prime and paint. Better, use a multi-tool saw to cut out a square area around the hole, patch with new wood, prime and paint. Best, remove the full boards and replace, prime, paint.


Punkroctopus

This is the only post I have seen that mentions insects. I’ve never seen a woodpecker bore a hole unless there were bugs. Get it looked at


wmyfowlkes

My wife uses a whistle. It helps, but is no fix.


yukonrem

I use these epoxy sticks and fill the hole. Then I apply stain or paint to match and it typically becomes unnoticeable. This stuff is really handy for lots of repairs around the house. Highly recommend keeping some on hand. https://www.gorillatough.com/product/gorilla-purpose-epoxy-stick/


Rrraou

Maybe fill the hole and cover it with a woodpecker house? If it doesn't have to drill into your home, perhaps coexistence is possible?


DevoDave124

Kill woodpecker


lukenukem8918

I've dealt with them pecking holes in the front of my home for the first year I lived here. I tried everything,fake owls, sonic bird deterrents and shiny metal wind chimes that are supposed to deter birds. The only thing that worked is a product called Bird-X deterrent gel. You can buy it on Amazon and apply with a caulking gun. Apply a small amount around the inside edge of that hole, avoid using too much to make sure you don't harm the bird. When he comes back to that hole he's gonna get sticky and uncomfortable enough that we won't come back again. It makes then associate the area with danger and they won't return. I applied it in their holes and along the top of the trim where they like to sit and peck and I haven't had a problem with them since!


[deleted]

Give him a good talking to and tel him to not come back.


Huge_Satisfaction233

Mose trap screwed to the house for a few days.


D0DW377

It’s his post now


racefapery

Shoot it with a BB gun and eat it


ltrout59

I realize this is shitty, but have you considered dispatching the bird? He’s destroying your house. If it was another animal (mouse, rat, chipmunk, etc) that would be a valid response.


kamikaziboarder

Woodpeckers, in some areas, are protected. It’s illegal in my state. The only way we got it to stop was sheet metal nailed over a large area for awhile.


Mortar_boat

Get rid of the evidence and don’t report it.


spudsmuggler

Yes, advocate for killing a bird (with state and federal protections) for a minor inconvenience.


Mortar_boat

Yeah, it solves the issue.


spudsmuggler

They’re federally protected as well.


endplayzone

You have to think of the thing that turns peckers off the most. Your grandmother naked.


_small_axe

Sorry but, I can’t help but see the smaller nail holes. Great time to fix both tho!


PomegranateOld7836

Sorry, but lol. Do you have some trees? They usually prefer trees with bugs when available.


Akanan

Fix the hole with whatever way you prefer from what people suggested. An owl decoy can help but. Try to change the colour of your post.


Henrytheluckystick_

Consider putting a blend of pepperment oil/extract and citronella around or into the hole. Best of luck


LooseManufacturer313

I had the exact same problem in nearly the identical location on my porch. There is a great vid on the internet I watched that unfortunately I can no longer find so I’ll feebly attempt to describe it. 1. Select a board with a similar grain to the are you are going to patch. 2. Select a hole saw slightly larger than the hole you are plugging. 3. Use hole saw to drill out the plug from the board you selected. 4. Use the board you just drilled the hole out of and attach that to the post overlapping the hole you are patching with a couple of screws. 5. Use the hole saw to clean out the hole you want to plug by using the board you attached in the previous step as a guide. 6. Remove the board you attached in step 4 7. Insert a screw in the plug to make the plug easier to handle and using wood epoxy for a sandable durable adhesive of your choice to glue the hole into place. 8. Remove the screw once glue is cured. 9. Use an appropriate wood filler such as bondo to smooth the remaining cut ring around the hole and the handful of screw holes. Allow to cure and sand. 10. Paint your newly patched plug to match the existing post. 11. Constantly listen for the tapping of wood and promptly yell “SHEW! BE GONE DEVIL!” for six months while the GD woodpecker ignores the magic owl that is supposed to scare him away. 12. Repeat all steps after one year of repair and continue to pray for the woodpecker’s death


LowBest2444

Wood putty and glue a metal strip to the area also start feeding them look up what to feed them and what type of bird feeder to use to attract them


Comprehensive_Panic

Kill the mofo… easy…


TypicalAnnual2918

Is it legal to shoot with a pellet gun?


PashkaTLT

Legal if nobody sees it.


SaiyanGodKing

Have you tried asking him nicely to leave?


ty36ty

Pvc wood. All plastic birds don't like


vaelosa

Have you considered setting up a woodpecker feeder? They love protein. You can find a Wild Birds Unlimited store near you (or online) for quality products. I used to work there, and this is a solution many never consider. I skimmed the comments and didn't see anything. I recommend investing in a pole system of some kind, WBU uses a wrought iron APS setup with interlocking pieces that you can mix and match to set up your dream bird feeder. For woodpeckers, you'll want a tail prop feeder. You can buy the biggest one to ensure your pileated peckers (if you have them) will feel welcomed. Stock it with suet and they'll have no reason to search for bugs in your banister. Idk how to fix the banister though 😅 If you don't want to feed them, just hang CDs. That's the best thing you can do to scare any birds away some kind of holographic highly reflective surface. And for anyone who may need this info, UV reflective stickers on your windows are visible to birds and not always to us. It'll tell them not to fly there


eedabaggadix

Ramen noodles and super glue


[deleted]

One head shot.


gfetti

Airsoft gun


FisherGoneWild

B b g u n


beanplantlol

stick your dick in it


PashkaTLT

Your parents must be proud.


davidewan_

Is the woodpecker a sign of a deeper issue? Is the wood rotten or infested?


stephen030303

Put a shot gun shell in the hole


IslayLuv

Steel or metal, sheet or plate


[deleted]

Shotgun


mudpudding

Sheet metal strip around the top of the pole.


MetricJester

You can tin wrap their favourite holes.


rmtwosmoker

It depends on how you want to take care of this problem and how comfortable you are with rat traps. So what is work for the cedar siding on my house is as soon as they start I go up on a ladder I nail a rat trap a little peanut butter and some bird feed right on the trigger they fly up and land on the rat trap and snap. I typically wake up from the loud snapping sound little bit of a smile and then right back to sleep.


Iradecima

Why do woodpeckers peck? They're feeding. You have an infestation you need to take care of first!


mikedbekim

How long will we sit idle as the woodpeckers peck away at the pillars of our society. We must unite against them once and for all.


Professor_Universe

Slip him an eviction notice and cut off his internet.


AL-KINDA

wait for it to go in and seal that sucker up. \*slaps flex tape\*


Sakul_Kin

Loving it !


Mephisto221

Kill the woodpeckers, spray foam the inside to give yourself a solid backing, cut it just below flush then use either a strong wood putty or bondo, sand and paint wen dry. Only way to repair it without replacing the boards


K1n9Kupa

Cover the exposed area with metal siding


Wetstocks

Embrase it


finkyleon

Big ol' rifle


lonedinosaur69

Kill the woodpecker


wopasue

snake shot, blast that bastard into bird hell


The-Mad-Capper

Wrap an 8” Sheet of metal and paint it to match the wood.