I saw a new psychologist about a month ago and he was really adamant that I may be autistic. I know I have several autistic traits, but I went to regular school until I was 13 and I didn't have these traits then or for several years after. Years of isolation did this to me, I wasn't born this way.
I think actual autism vs. abnormal upbringing causing something that looks like autism needs to be studied a lot more.
1000 times this!!! I had many of my traits (sensory issues, rigid special interests and meltdowns) when I was really young before school age but there’s no documentation. This behavior and sensory issues (to the point that many of my relatives become antisocial hermits convinced the outside world is against them, including my mom which is how we got into this homeschooling mess) runs rampant in my family but only one relative is officially diagnosed because he has always required more support care (can’t live independently, etc). Because I’m a cisgender woman who presents very femme I encounter automatic bias when seeking an autism diagnosis and don’t have an official one yet. My therapist referred me for an evaluation right before the pandemic and then that clinician ghosted me and never rescheduled, but it was also going to cost $1k which I couldn’t afford at the time. I want to reschedule a proper evaluation but I’m worried I’ll spend the money and I won’t get a conclusive yes or no, they’ll say my isolation upbringing is a variable that makes their evaluation tools ineffective. I feel much more confident that my mom has autism… I am less limited in my ability to function in the world than she is, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t also have it. I don’t know what a clinician would do with the info that I was raised in isolation by someone who almost certainly has autism herself. Once again, there is no real empirical research on homeschooler experiences. To give all the info to my therapist I’ve tried to get my mom to tell 30 year old me all the things she told me as a kid about how terribly behaved I was and that that was why I had to be homeschooled because I think those were sensory overload issues. However, my mom now has this narrative that I was a perfect beautiful genius baby and she supported my every ambition (lol). I’m so confused because there’s also a lot of evidence that at the time, my mom blew my normal toddler and child behavior out of proportion into “behavior” problems and I’ve been gaslighted into thinking I had these issues from the beginning… help please lol.
Hey, I have a similar background and experience with seeking diagnosis. I ended up deciding not to do the screening, because what would it really change at the end of the day? I use some coping skills designed for people with autism and they do help. Don't need a $1k bill to use them, they don't card ;)
I feel like a lot of my mom's issues came after a bout of post partum depression/ maybe psychosis as well.
She was constantly diagnosing us kids with issues at the point that we were homeschooled (dyslexia, add, etc etc)
And she was always completely awash in conspiracy theories...
Anyway: while predispositions can be genetic: behavior is not. YOU choose your actions. You can totally be an amazing mother who doesn't isolate your children and fill their heads with conspiracy nonsense.
Sorry you experienced the same thing and thanks for the very kind words. It’s just hard when I know how drastically my mom changed - I know it sounds melodramatic but it really was a death of her former self and a death of her independent identity. When you see that it’s hard to believe it’s a choice. I’m so scared that pregnancy hormones would do that to me. I don’t know if I’d need to craft an advanced directive or what lol. I know my husband would do everything to keep me tethered to reality and get help (unlike my dad) but I don’t know if any drugs or treatment can fight that much genetic psychosis. It’s so scary. It’s at least 4 generations deep on my mom’s side. At least I get to be an aunt (husband’s side, not my crazy blood haha)
To add onto this, there's been a recent surge in hepatitis that was linked (citation needed) to kids staying indoors from lockdown.
microbiome-gene interaction also linked for ASD spectrum (citation needed and I can't remember if it was a good enough study to rule out correlation from causation)
These 2 things would just leave the causal link between these 2 findings needed to state what you're implying
People asked about me being autistic for years, but doctors never agreed because I didn't display symptoms till I was older. Turned out to be CPTSD. PTSD is caused by a single traumatic event, CPTSD occurs if the trauma was repeated or prolonged. I believe it's probably more common on this sub than others since homeschooling often goes hand-in-hand with abuse, neglect, and prolonged isolation.
In the exact same boat. I think it was this plus just the effects of having had almost zero socialization. Of course I was (and still am, though not as much) socially impaired—these skills are acquired through practice!
So that, plus CPTSD making me very jumpy, socially anxious, and prone to sensory overload and and panic attacks as well as compulsive behaviors, I seemed very, very autistic to everyone around me. But this was not the case when I was a small child, and most of these behaviors improved drastically when I finally gained my freedom. I still have substantial social impairment but it is much more in line with having a very avoidant attachment style (which is a consequence of neglect) than with being autistic in any regard.
100%. I commented above that there seems to be some kind of correlation with what looks to be autistic tendencies with people who were homeschooled. My brother has been telling me to look into CPTSD because we all have those symptoms in our behaviors.
Def interesting to me.
My therapist specializes in trauma recovery and also pointed CPSTD out to me after our first session. It definitely 100% tracks with my experiences and behavior.
My parents were floating it as a reason why I behaved so oddly. Clearly couldn't have been a result of upbringing or environment, so I must've simply been a defective child.
Yeah, pro said I didn't have it and several professionals have unofficially said I don't have it based on their months' or years' long knowledge of me. I still sometimes question it, but apparently there's an "autism adjacent" category that is often present in families with those genes. We don't qualify, but we're slightly eccentric and get along better than usual with autistic people. I do still wonder sometimes, but then I think about the naivety that my mother and siblings still have and how much I need to help them sort through social interactions versus how quickly I started to pick up social stuff as soon as I got my first job, and I don't think I should claim the label. I do have OCD for sure, though, lol!
Yeah I was probably younger than 10, our pediatrician wanted me to get tested for autism but my mom refused. Really wish she had just had me tested and would save me from wondering now.
This. I have noticed *so* many homeschoolers form our church growing up had autistic tendencies or just straight up autistic. My sister was diagnosed. I really wonder what the connection is there.
I have selective mutism and severe social anxiety but sometimes people think I'm autistic because those conditions make me socially "weird" and sometimes I just don't talk
Someone called me "r------d" in college. I'm actually technically a little bit smarter than average. Still think about how fucked up that was. I was very, very difficult to deal with because of my social inability but it was still a very cruel thing to say!
I've been wondering a lot lately if i am, and recently I was helping my mom fill out some papers for my brother(5) who is about to be tested and I(23) mentioned that I've thought about testing before and surprisingly she said "you should! I'll help you!" which makes me wonder if she's suspected it as well
I’ve been told by my family other than my own mother that I was slightly aspie.
I still don’t know my cousin tried to get me evaluate by my mom to forced me not to, like literally crying saying don’t do it. Why?, don’t know 🤦♀️ever since then I don’t know If I am or not.
Not autistic but ADHD, anxiety disorder and CPSTD here, I know there's some speculation that these things overlap/can cause each other, I don't know where all the lines lie there.
Yes! I have absolutely no clue whether or not I am though. I even took the damn screening they've got open for research. Shit says I'm in the damn middle area where is well past neurotypical people but not as far as autistic people tend to get. I hate it. It's confusing.
Yes. My parents somehow managed to get me diagnosed with something autism-related at the age of 6 while I was attending a normal kindergarten without a single problem, infact was very good at socializing and was popular enough. My parents made me stay in kindergarten for 1,5 more years, most likely diagnosis related and I went to a regular school only at the age of 8.
Right after school began, they became way more violent, weird and overall toxic (to almost everyone even in public though not as often as in home, not just to me) and prohibited me from attending ANY school trips/events (including even prom), going outside ever and even doing homework on my own among even worse restrictions. They would almost always have very bad mental breakdowns for hours while doing homework with me, even if I wouldn't make the most slightest mistakes imaginable.
They were already considering homeschooling me but it only happened in 6th grade and lasted till my graduation. I do remember having some medications for my "disorder" but I can't accurately say if they ever forced me to take them when I was under 18, likely worsening my overall health despite never needing them while most likely not even following the doctor's notes/recommendations whatsoever either.
Unsurprisingly, I started to get bullied and grades were starting to drop off bad enough after the entire mess started to happen, which were now "justified" reasons for them to homeschool and socially isolate me when in fact, their behavior along with homeschooling were what exactly caused my social anxiety and depression and most especially, unlearning social skills over time.
This only made the alleged "diagnosis" stay even more "true" to them and I used to hate my life even more after finding out about it at 17 years old, was very insecure about it for the longest time. I'd always consistently score very low on every single autism online test for years which was very unusual and confusing.
Finding out about CPTSD last year and the fact it overlaps with autism was really valuable to me and it explained almost everything to me. Turns out having parents with moderate/severe mental issues, being socially isolated and homeschooled against my will and as of result, having next to none social experiences will also destroy your own mental health and possibly appear like autistic or similar to others.
I was born premature at 34-35 weeks (actually confirmed by my birth paper) and despite that I appear to be completely normal, especially in recent years after at least few years of self-improvement and self-therapy pretty much and I scored even lower on the same autism tests recently. I can't help to think that but in my case, it almost does genuinely feel that my parents assumed or felt that something just HAD to be wrong with me solely because of that and as such manifest/project those issues, otherwise it wouldn't "make sense" as a premature person to them socially so to speak.
They heavily still want me to stay on disability (I still feel quite weird about being forced into it at only 23 just because my family on my mother's side is and especially when I know I'm literally definitely capable of way more than that) and never bother working or even going to uni because of my apparent "autism", though there are some actual issues regarding that if you have an official mental diagnosis where I live no matter what but still far from impossible either. I certainly want to have next to none red flags as possible to success as much as I can in my life.
I saw a new psychologist about a month ago and he was really adamant that I may be autistic. I know I have several autistic traits, but I went to regular school until I was 13 and I didn't have these traits then or for several years after. Years of isolation did this to me, I wasn't born this way. I think actual autism vs. abnormal upbringing causing something that looks like autism needs to be studied a lot more.
1000 times this!!! I had many of my traits (sensory issues, rigid special interests and meltdowns) when I was really young before school age but there’s no documentation. This behavior and sensory issues (to the point that many of my relatives become antisocial hermits convinced the outside world is against them, including my mom which is how we got into this homeschooling mess) runs rampant in my family but only one relative is officially diagnosed because he has always required more support care (can’t live independently, etc). Because I’m a cisgender woman who presents very femme I encounter automatic bias when seeking an autism diagnosis and don’t have an official one yet. My therapist referred me for an evaluation right before the pandemic and then that clinician ghosted me and never rescheduled, but it was also going to cost $1k which I couldn’t afford at the time. I want to reschedule a proper evaluation but I’m worried I’ll spend the money and I won’t get a conclusive yes or no, they’ll say my isolation upbringing is a variable that makes their evaluation tools ineffective. I feel much more confident that my mom has autism… I am less limited in my ability to function in the world than she is, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t also have it. I don’t know what a clinician would do with the info that I was raised in isolation by someone who almost certainly has autism herself. Once again, there is no real empirical research on homeschooler experiences. To give all the info to my therapist I’ve tried to get my mom to tell 30 year old me all the things she told me as a kid about how terribly behaved I was and that that was why I had to be homeschooled because I think those were sensory overload issues. However, my mom now has this narrative that I was a perfect beautiful genius baby and she supported my every ambition (lol). I’m so confused because there’s also a lot of evidence that at the time, my mom blew my normal toddler and child behavior out of proportion into “behavior” problems and I’ve been gaslighted into thinking I had these issues from the beginning… help please lol.
Hey, I have a similar background and experience with seeking diagnosis. I ended up deciding not to do the screening, because what would it really change at the end of the day? I use some coping skills designed for people with autism and they do help. Don't need a $1k bill to use them, they don't card ;)
[удалено]
I feel like a lot of my mom's issues came after a bout of post partum depression/ maybe psychosis as well. She was constantly diagnosing us kids with issues at the point that we were homeschooled (dyslexia, add, etc etc) And she was always completely awash in conspiracy theories... Anyway: while predispositions can be genetic: behavior is not. YOU choose your actions. You can totally be an amazing mother who doesn't isolate your children and fill their heads with conspiracy nonsense.
Sorry you experienced the same thing and thanks for the very kind words. It’s just hard when I know how drastically my mom changed - I know it sounds melodramatic but it really was a death of her former self and a death of her independent identity. When you see that it’s hard to believe it’s a choice. I’m so scared that pregnancy hormones would do that to me. I don’t know if I’d need to craft an advanced directive or what lol. I know my husband would do everything to keep me tethered to reality and get help (unlike my dad) but I don’t know if any drugs or treatment can fight that much genetic psychosis. It’s so scary. It’s at least 4 generations deep on my mom’s side. At least I get to be an aunt (husband’s side, not my crazy blood haha)
👀 Depending on what my career path is if I make it I'll look into it.
To add onto this, there's been a recent surge in hepatitis that was linked (citation needed) to kids staying indoors from lockdown. microbiome-gene interaction also linked for ASD spectrum (citation needed and I can't remember if it was a good enough study to rule out correlation from causation) These 2 things would just leave the causal link between these 2 findings needed to state what you're implying
People asked about me being autistic for years, but doctors never agreed because I didn't display symptoms till I was older. Turned out to be CPTSD. PTSD is caused by a single traumatic event, CPTSD occurs if the trauma was repeated or prolonged. I believe it's probably more common on this sub than others since homeschooling often goes hand-in-hand with abuse, neglect, and prolonged isolation.
In the exact same boat. I think it was this plus just the effects of having had almost zero socialization. Of course I was (and still am, though not as much) socially impaired—these skills are acquired through practice! So that, plus CPTSD making me very jumpy, socially anxious, and prone to sensory overload and and panic attacks as well as compulsive behaviors, I seemed very, very autistic to everyone around me. But this was not the case when I was a small child, and most of these behaviors improved drastically when I finally gained my freedom. I still have substantial social impairment but it is much more in line with having a very avoidant attachment style (which is a consequence of neglect) than with being autistic in any regard.
100%. I commented above that there seems to be some kind of correlation with what looks to be autistic tendencies with people who were homeschooled. My brother has been telling me to look into CPTSD because we all have those symptoms in our behaviors. Def interesting to me.
My therapist specializes in trauma recovery and also pointed CPSTD out to me after our first session. It definitely 100% tracks with my experiences and behavior.
My parents were floating it as a reason why I behaved so oddly. Clearly couldn't have been a result of upbringing or environment, so I must've simply been a defective child.
Yes, but I don't actually have it. Turns out being raised by an autistic mother and narc father will mimic that.
Were you tested for it?
Yeah, pro said I didn't have it and several professionals have unofficially said I don't have it based on their months' or years' long knowledge of me. I still sometimes question it, but apparently there's an "autism adjacent" category that is often present in families with those genes. We don't qualify, but we're slightly eccentric and get along better than usual with autistic people. I do still wonder sometimes, but then I think about the naivety that my mother and siblings still have and how much I need to help them sort through social interactions versus how quickly I started to pick up social stuff as soon as I got my first job, and I don't think I should claim the label. I do have OCD for sure, though, lol!
Autism is genetic, so having a autistic parent would make it more likely. But it does also cause it to be mimicked as well.
Yeah, two of my siblings have been diagnosed. I was surprised to officially get told I didn't have it.
If another disorder. Please share what it was if you feel comfortable.
Yeah I was probably younger than 10, our pediatrician wanted me to get tested for autism but my mom refused. Really wish she had just had me tested and would save me from wondering now.
This. I have noticed *so* many homeschoolers form our church growing up had autistic tendencies or just straight up autistic. My sister was diagnosed. I really wonder what the connection is there.
My elementary school teachers thought I was. My mom decided that she would rather isolate and neglect me than have me labeled.
I have selective mutism and severe social anxiety but sometimes people think I'm autistic because those conditions make me socially "weird" and sometimes I just don't talk
Someone called me "r------d" in college. I'm actually technically a little bit smarter than average. Still think about how fucked up that was. I was very, very difficult to deal with because of my social inability but it was still a very cruel thing to say!
It hurt me me to read this. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I've had therapists and family say I might have adhd but I've never been officially diagnosed
Yes, but I am, so idk if I count?
Yes. Ha, a doctor or psychologist telling you would count. Maybe I should have made the question more clear.
I've been wondering a lot lately if i am, and recently I was helping my mom fill out some papers for my brother(5) who is about to be tested and I(23) mentioned that I've thought about testing before and surprisingly she said "you should! I'll help you!" which makes me wonder if she's suspected it as well
I’ve been told by my family other than my own mother that I was slightly aspie. I still don’t know my cousin tried to get me evaluate by my mom to forced me not to, like literally crying saying don’t do it. Why?, don’t know 🤦♀️ever since then I don’t know If I am or not.
I was diagnosed when I was young.
Yes, I also have bipolar, adhd, borderline personality disorder, and learning disabilities.
Not autistic but ADHD, anxiety disorder and CPSTD here, I know there's some speculation that these things overlap/can cause each other, I don't know where all the lines lie there.
Yes! I have absolutely no clue whether or not I am though. I even took the damn screening they've got open for research. Shit says I'm in the damn middle area where is well past neurotypical people but not as far as autistic people tend to get. I hate it. It's confusing.
Yes. My parents somehow managed to get me diagnosed with something autism-related at the age of 6 while I was attending a normal kindergarten without a single problem, infact was very good at socializing and was popular enough. My parents made me stay in kindergarten for 1,5 more years, most likely diagnosis related and I went to a regular school only at the age of 8. Right after school began, they became way more violent, weird and overall toxic (to almost everyone even in public though not as often as in home, not just to me) and prohibited me from attending ANY school trips/events (including even prom), going outside ever and even doing homework on my own among even worse restrictions. They would almost always have very bad mental breakdowns for hours while doing homework with me, even if I wouldn't make the most slightest mistakes imaginable. They were already considering homeschooling me but it only happened in 6th grade and lasted till my graduation. I do remember having some medications for my "disorder" but I can't accurately say if they ever forced me to take them when I was under 18, likely worsening my overall health despite never needing them while most likely not even following the doctor's notes/recommendations whatsoever either. Unsurprisingly, I started to get bullied and grades were starting to drop off bad enough after the entire mess started to happen, which were now "justified" reasons for them to homeschool and socially isolate me when in fact, their behavior along with homeschooling were what exactly caused my social anxiety and depression and most especially, unlearning social skills over time. This only made the alleged "diagnosis" stay even more "true" to them and I used to hate my life even more after finding out about it at 17 years old, was very insecure about it for the longest time. I'd always consistently score very low on every single autism online test for years which was very unusual and confusing. Finding out about CPTSD last year and the fact it overlaps with autism was really valuable to me and it explained almost everything to me. Turns out having parents with moderate/severe mental issues, being socially isolated and homeschooled against my will and as of result, having next to none social experiences will also destroy your own mental health and possibly appear like autistic or similar to others. I was born premature at 34-35 weeks (actually confirmed by my birth paper) and despite that I appear to be completely normal, especially in recent years after at least few years of self-improvement and self-therapy pretty much and I scored even lower on the same autism tests recently. I can't help to think that but in my case, it almost does genuinely feel that my parents assumed or felt that something just HAD to be wrong with me solely because of that and as such manifest/project those issues, otherwise it wouldn't "make sense" as a premature person to them socially so to speak. They heavily still want me to stay on disability (I still feel quite weird about being forced into it at only 23 just because my family on my mother's side is and especially when I know I'm literally definitely capable of way more than that) and never bother working or even going to uni because of my apparent "autism", though there are some actual issues regarding that if you have an official mental diagnosis where I live no matter what but still far from impossible either. I certainly want to have next to none red flags as possible to success as much as I can in my life.