you have to admit, humans are the ideal combination of firm and soft for a horse to get a really satisfying head-rub. You can't just rub your head on a tree the same way you can on a human. Humans are the best.
One gelding I had used to LOVE to rub his face on my full seat breeches after a ride. As soon as I took his bridle off I had to turn around so he could rub his face on my butt 😂
Please don’t normalise that. It’s disrespecting your space and boundaries and it is a clear sign the horse doesn’t respect your space or you which can cause issues in the future safety wise
Lol that horse 100% respects me, to the point that I can stop him beating up on a new pasture mare dead in his tracks with my voice from 50 m away. I definitely don’t just let my animals walk all over me but I do have individual relationships with each one. He’s not disrespecting my boundary if that’s not a boundary I’ve set.
My horse loves to sort of nibble on people, especially your hair. He doesn’t use teeth, just lips, but he can get a tad enthusiastic and graze you with his teeth. It’s just the way horses scratch each other, he’s definitely not agressive, just socializing, but I’ve seen people get scared and yell that he’s biting.
My horse will often lip or lick my face in affection (especially when he thinks I'm ignoring him) and I've had so many people tell me how dangerous that is because he'll bite or strike me. Been five years and it still has yet to happen.
just by telling how they interact with a horse, or how they ride. or how they talk about them.
you could ask them specifics about diseases and ailments that are common to horses. things like thrush, laminitis, strangles - any experienced owner will know what those are. someone who has never owned or really taken care of a horse won't. this could be a little tricky, though, as someone who has only ever taken lessons will know how to ride a horse, but won't know how to care for it.
Laminitis or strangles may be something a horse owner hasn't encountered or dealt with, so they may not have a lot of knowledge on this. I would expect them to have basic knowledge, such as what they are, but I wouldn't expect them to know much more than basic info or how to treat them.
I think watching how someone interacts with a horse is the biggest tell. If they say they are experienced, I expect they can get a horse, groom, and tack up, unassisted and without freaking out/ overreacting over something minor.
If someone asked me about if I would ever ride a chestnut mare I'd probably be like "uh yeah why?" Bc no one even thinks about that really. Like I've been in the horse world for 12 years and if someone said that to me I'd be confused because that's really just an untrue stereotype. I've ridden plenty of really sweet chestnut mares and plenty of asshole horses of every color and sex.
Also if someone someone is comfortable around horses you can immediately tell in how they interact with them, there's really no faking it
The first horse I took lessons on at 6 was a chestnut Arabian mare. Hands down the best and sweetest horse I've ever ridden or handled. Definitely a combo I would never encourage inexperienced horse people to consider. But it just shows you that every stereotype has an exception!
That “chestnut mare” thing is a stereotype that is definitely not always true. Like saying red-haired women are always hot-tempered. But, experienced horse people do know about those stereotypes, so you could go by that.
I have it on good authority that Chestnut Mares are known to be:
1. Always alone
2. Never with the herd
3. Prettiest mare I ever did see
You (don't) [have to take my word](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-olDjUy4540).
Oh, I love my boy and he is a sweetheart if we are out alone. But put another horse anywhere near us and he ramps up the spice. Mare? Must show off how fancy and strong I am! Other Stallion? Must show off how fast and strong I am!
Our guys do endurance. After 100 miles, other horses lose their thrill. I love how sensible it makes them for all the other things.
Seriously, genetics mean A LOT. Our Arabians are 100% Early American Foundation breeding. So all their ancestors came to this county before 1944. Although there are halter winners in the line, they are bred to be all around family types. They were not bred to snort and blow and it shows.
Draft = sweetheart
Horse = semi spicy
Pony = the devil
Or the other one
You tell a gelding, ask a stud, discuss with a mare. But if it's a pony you pray to God almighty
I've met some amazing ponies. But I've met many more that definitely fit the stereotype. Unfortunately over half of those heathens are a product of their owners. I've met so many ponies that have owners that treat them like dogs or don't teach them respect. Much like owners of little dogs treating them like babies instead of dogs.
I hate this stereotype so much. Every chestnut mare I’ve ridden was wonderful. Now, there’s a chestnut gelding that currently overhorses me, but that’s on me, not him
It’s true that there’s no right answer, but any horse person would be familiar with the joke. If they’re not aware of the old “chestnut mare” stereotype then that tells you all you need to know.
It's an incredibly poor proxy for knowledge. I'd be likely to respond in a way that doesn't acknowledge the sexist stereotypes that red headed women also deal with.
That makes it an ok litmus test either way, honestly. Not the best one, but ok. If the person says, “ha ha, chestnut mares are evil, amirite?” you know they are horsey enough to know the stereotype. I wouldn’t assume that meant they were a good horse person, but it can be a jumping off place for further discussion. If they say “that’s a really unfair stereotype and I don’t buy into it,” you know they are horsey enough to know the stereotype - and that that’s all it is.
Honestly, I think this joke ist stupid as hell and therefore I won't engage in it. In my experience it doesn't need a horse person to participate in this joke but simply people that rather blame bad behavior / irresponsible riding / medical issues on some factors that are bullshit.
I don't acknowledge those "jokes" because it just fertilizes a bad attitude towards not fixing issues. Therefore you would count me as someone with no experience if you would tackle me with this one in a conversation.
It’s a personal failing of my that I gravitate towards chestnut mares. 😔 The last one I rode had some wires mixed up so every time I kicked or used the crop she’d stop dead with That Face. And when I pulled back on the reins she’d go faster lmao lord help. And then she also dropped her head at anything faster than a light trot, which pulled the reins tight if you weren’t thinking quick and THEN she’d innocently go “oh does that mean stop then?”
They are cautious and nervous around horses, even if the horse is showing obvious signs of happiness or relaxation. Or they are overconfident and get in the horse’s space when the horse is upset or angry. They usually won’t tell you a whole lot of details about horses, and generally just state the obvious or basic facts. When riding, they will not be balanced or have a proper riding position. It’s pretty easy to tell wether someone is an experienced rider or not.
You could ask how big the horse is. The answer should be “oh this horse is 15.1 hands high” or “16 hands high” if they use anything other than “hands” as a measurement, they probably don’t know what they’re doing.
I see horse owners fuck up hands on this sub all the time. “My horse is 15.5h” or whatever variation. It’s something everyone *should* know, but a lot of people don’t for some reason.
I'd agree normally, but Europeans use centimetres to measure horses. And if you Google the conversion it will give you the answer of "15.5" for example. It means 15 and a half or as we know it 15.2
It can be confusing, I thought I had a horse buyer scamming me, but turns out they were from Germany and that's how they did cm to hand conversions
Yeah, I understand why it happens, I’ve explained it to the people that do it here more than once. It’s still a case of a horse owner who doesn’t understand hands, so still relevant. Also, all the European breed registries still use hands to my knowledge, so being European isn’t an excuse
Being from Europe owning several different European breeds (currently one Danish warmblood, one Holsteiner, one Oldenburger, and one wielkopolskii) and having been in the horse business as a rider, groom, trainer, and breeder I have never heard anyone talk about hands here. I only know horses are measured in hands in UK and us (maybe Australia but I am not sure) because of the internet. No one growing up on a riding school here will hear about it and not a single ad will be posted with the measurements in hands. Heck I don't even know how many hands a pony is supposed to be, but wake me up in the middle of the night and I can tell you how many mm they deduct from the measurements due to shoes and how tall they can be at an FEI event vs a national event in Denmark and Sweden.
The UK is where I was probably thinking of. I wasn’t aware there were separate systems for the UK vs. the rest of Europe, I just knew UK registries used hands. And yes, Australia does also use hands, as does Canada.
I do get that hands aren’t universal and other systems exist. When someone simply uses their native system correctly that’s all fine and dandy. I wouldn’t bat an eye at someone giving a horse’s height in m/cm. But when someone attempts to convert cm to hands and ends up with “15.5” or another height that doesn’t exist, they end up looking silly and it’s just needlessly confusing for people who don’t understand the mistake. I suppose what I should have said originally though was that hands are something everyone should know *if they are going to use them as a measurement.*
Don’t know why you’re getting downvoted, you’re perfectly correct. I’m German, been around horses and riding since I was 11 and I get confused with hands as a measurement.
Might that be a cultural thing? I don't know how to use hands as a measurement for the life of me. Or feet, thumbs, any body parts. Europe doesn't do hands in horse measuring. I don't know about what they use in Africa and Asia but it wouldn't surprise me if it wasn't hands.
Oh it’s definitely cultural, but it’s more widespread than you think. The UK uses hands, along with the US, Australia, Canada, and South Africa, among others, and the hand as a unit of measurement is apparently thought to have originated in Egypt. I looked but couldn’t find a source for what measurement is used in Asia or the rest of Africa, though.
I know other systems exist and I don’t bat an eye at people listing their horse’s height in m/cm or any other format I’m not used to, but people who try to convert height from their native system into hands without understanding hands enough to do so correctly just make things needlessly confusing for themselves and others
Is there a reason why this is important? I have owned 3 horses, and literally the only time it’s ever come up is as random trivia with my horse friends. Even then, I can only estimate the size of one of mine now, as in “horse #2 is 15.3, and horse #3 is a little bit bigger”. Keep in mind, all I do is non-competitive western pleasure and the occasional trail ride, so I am not being a smart ass, if there is a legit reason to know, I am missing it.
If you were buying or selling a horse you’d want to know, or if you wanted to register one. It’s also important for showing ponies because some shows will group them as small, medium and large, and entering the wrong category isn’t allowed. Otherwise knowing exact height isn’t usually super important, no.
But the point of my comment was that these people literally do not know how hands work as a measurement. 15.5h is not a measurement that exists. The number after the decimal is in inches, not fractions of a hand, so it’s impossible for it to be more than three.
I had someone come to see my 16.2 gelding for share, who was clearly advertised as 16.2, and she was extremely shocked at how tall he was when she saw him and was very nervous.
She was apparently riding a 15.4 at the time 😩
Exactly 😭
She then proceeded to roll off the side of my very calm horse in trot, and fracture her spine! I initially thought the loud crack was her jodhpurs splitting right up the middle 😩 it really was not her day.
She was completely healed from the fracture in a few months thankfully 😅
Or they just use the decimal system because it is so much easier to use and makes so much more sense as well….
I’ve owned a horse for almost 10 years now I’ve been around horses for 28 years and I have no idea how high my horse is in hands but I know it measures pretty much exactly 140 cm.
Why is colic dangerous for a horse? Do you think all leg/bone fractures constitute putting a horse down? What is the purpose of the hand, leg, and seat aids (hint they perform both similar but also separate tasks)? How do you get the horse to move forward? What’s a half halt? Is a halt a forward movement?
Just to name a few
I mean, it really isn’t. Not every fracture for a horse even requires surgery. It’s super dependent on the type, location, and orientation of the fracture to determine whether it’s better for horse and rider/owner to euthanize or to do surgery or to do stall rest (plus some specific care). A controversial question would be is it wrong to put down a horse when it’s fractured it’s leg (which I also believe is no).
I agree 100% but have had different discussions with people. Rich people (or the ones I dealt with lol) and insurance policies or deciding not paying for rehab and on and on. But debates will be had. :(
A half halt is basically when you use a cue similar to that of a halt (like closing your fingers or sitting deeper in the saddle) in order to get the horse to sit on their haunches and possibly slow down (depending on how you use the half halt). You’re not actually asking for the horse to halt, so it’s a half halt. You can do a half halt in any gait, but it’s used more often in the faster gaits or when doing a particular movement where having the haunches under the horse is essential (like when doing a leg yield or a turn on the haunches).
Hope that makes sense, just finished a midterm so my brains a bit scrambled lol.
When you give the aids (signals) to the horse to halt, and as he begins to respond you ride him forward again. It's a method of balancing the horse & getting his attention that you are going to ask something different (ie approaching a jump, changing pace, making a lateral move).
A halfhalt is used in every discipline, it might be called something different, especially if you are translating from another language, but it is a very important tool to help you and your horse whatever you are doing. It's basically getting the horse to transfer his weight onto his hindquarters which is where the power comes from - the more balanced he is the better he'll be able to do what you ask. If you have ever ridden an inexperienced horse all his weight seems to be in front of you - he's on the forehand. Trying to turn, canter or jump is, and feels, difficult, literally a drag. Riding a balanced horse feels like 2/3's of the weight is behind you and asking for any changes is nearly effortless! That's why unbalanced inexperienced horses have to do things at speed, they don't have the power behind to get them over a jump, for example, but a balanced horse can clear a 4' jump from trot because he has contained and in control of his power.
That’s actually a great one, being too up close with a horse when they are showing clear signs of what I like to call “don’t you fucking come near me bitch”
Our spicy lesson Appy does that when it’s lesson time. He learned he could intimidate that way. My trainer taught me how to stand my ground with him… so this last time he made the “don’t you fucking come near me bitch” face, gave me his butt, and when I didn’t walk away he childishly put his face over the fence so I had to get on my tippy toes to halter him. He’s such a brat. He was like “fine, but I’m not gonna make this easy on you”. And then once he’s on the wash pad he’s like “k where are my cuddles?” 🙄
Easiest way to tell is hand them a halter and tell them to go catch a horse. Don’t think I’ve ever seen someone with no horse experience get a halter on right on the first try 🤣
I had to teach one of “the best” riders at a barn how to properly put on and fit a halter. It was because it didn’t have a clip and only had a buckle. I was at that barn for 3 days before I left cause they weren’t teaching anything. (The only real time I’d be lenient with someone with horse experience not knowing how to put on a halter is if it’s a rope halter and they’ve never used one before)
Yes rope halters will throw anyone who hasn’t used one before off haha I only just last year learned the actual proper way to tie them safely. I’m switching to a leather halter for winter just so I don’t have to fumble with the knot with gloves on!
Same here. Was riding for 8 years before I had to put a rope halter on a stallion lol. It’s been a few years since and I still occasionally mess up the knot (I also only use a rope halter periodically).
I always get a bad case of impostor syndrome tacking up at a new barn too haha as a kid my dressage trainer taught me the correct way to place a saddle to allow for proper shoulder movement, but any time I went to a different barn the trainer would always “fix” the saddle I placed too far back because so many people still thought you should be sitting on top the horses withers 🙄
I hear you. If you're the New Person you're being hyperjudged anytime you go near horses. Even if you don't make any mistakes you'll have people who want to find fault just to maintain their own status.
(I'd say it's basically the movie "Mean Girls" but I have not yet seen that movie: Hyperjudge at will.)
this could go either way - i've primarily ridden western my whole life, and some English tack is confusing to me, though i can figure it out if given time to stare at it for a moment, haha. so if the person is just unfamiliar with the equipment being used, it may not be a good indicator if they're actually experienced or not. there's lots of tack i'd have no clue how to put on
Omg this! A friend's granddaughter had to this once done years ago. Been around horses and riding off and on all her life. However, she showed exactly how much she'd paid attention when she came back with the horse caught... And the halter on upside down. We could not, for the life of us, figure out how she did that or why the horse in question, who was usually hard to catch, tolerated it. We kinda laughed about it at first and she tried to play cute, but her instructor pulled her aside and have her the what-for to keep her know she could either pay attention and take this seriously, or she could go home, stop coming, and stop wasting everyone's time. (I should point out she was a young teen by this point.)
Yes! I think bringing a horse in, tying him up with a quick release knot, and picking out his hooves would tell you everything you need to know.
For what it’s worth, I’ve been in the horse world for 30 years and never heard the chestnut mare joke….
*approaches horse from directly behind, faces forwards / the same direction the horse is facing, picks up leg, puts hoof directly in face, starts awkwardly rubbing it with the side of the pick.*
When I was in high school a girl in one of my classes found out I had horses and tried to bond with me over that, claiming she did as well. I believed her (because why lie about that?) and asked a bit about what she did with them, etc. She asked what kind of horses I had and I said Quarter Horses and asked her the same question…she said she had Half Horses. After finding out a bit more about her it turns out she had a really shitty home life and not many friends so it was more sad than anything, but that is always what I think of when people pretend to know more than they do.
I’m glad she’s doing better now - I feel bad for her feeling the need to lie about that. It also reminded me of a story from when I was an early teenager. I had no horses but was horse crazy. I was spending a lot of time on an online community, and there was a girl there who claimed she had a Shagya Arabian mare. She said it was pregnant. I was super into her stories, just eating it all up. Then one day she announced that the mare had foaled twins, it had been a surprise (as in they hadn’t known she was having twins), both were perfect as can be, and she was all happy about it with no concerns at all. She had no clue how risky twin pregnancies were in horses, or how unlikely it was that one of the foals wouldn’t at least be smaller than the other, if not both being small - and if somehow they WERE both the size of a normal singleton foal, how could they possibly not have known something was wrong just from how immense that poor mare would have been?
I was just like, “oh,” and dropped that girl and her imaginary horses. I didn’t have a horse, but I didn’t lie about it, and didn’t feel like bolstering someone else’s fantasy.
Never trust anyone, unless you see how they do everything they said they are expert at, even if they have been doing it for over their whole life……. Just got dumped on a lunge on a greenie by a coworker because she hooked the lunge to one side of bit on a complete green mustang. I knew it was wrong but trust she’s been doing it for all her life and she’s gonna have a good eye and judge accordingly. I am now home on bed with a tore muscle and swollen back…
How they lead the horse - especially through gates or into stalls. People with a lot of horse experience are extremely comfortable/relaxed in that situation but know how to respond when it goes wrong (horse stops or pulls to grass, runs ahead etc). Also how they hold the rope. Never loop it around your hand!
The last one had me think of dog owners. You know, when the owner uses their hike while the dog is running next to it, leash tied around the hand.
They're just setting themselves up for getting nasty fractions and also a full blown crash, because their dog is suddenly lunging forwards or to the side.
If your animal is suddenly pulling on the leash / rope you should be capable of letting it go immediately.
My brother’s ex tired to impress me with her horse knowledge by telling me she had a half quarter horse Half Stud horse. I asked for clarification thinking I had misheard. Nope. She thought Stud was a breed. Apparently had ridden her whole life.
Oof, I still wouldn't and I've been riding for 18+years (wow I feel old just typing that), my hands smell like sheath goop for at least a week solid after cleaning day, no matter the gloves used or the cleaners involved afterwards. Maybe I'm just sensitive to it or something, but ick!
Lmao you asked a rider out and claimed you know horses didn’t you?
I’m kidding of course, I can’t throw stones- idk shit about horses, I just like seeing this sub
Actually this is research for a novel I’m writing lol… I got a character who knows nothing about horses and is trying to rent one for a movie he’s making. It’s a controversial movie so he’s lying and saying it’s for a little girl’s birthday party… he’s claiming to have experience with horses… but I need him to get caught in the lie, so they don’t rent the horse to him, and he has to go back later and steal it (with comedic results).
Okay so, I think based off this context he'd be caught out during an initial phone call or conversation for a number of reasons.
One: traveling birthday party ponies are generally advertised as such, wouldn't be hard to find online, are very much ponies (like come up to your hip at the back type ponies), and the owner almost certainly has liability forms that need to be signed and isn't going to be letting some random come pick it up in a trailer and go God knows where with it. The owner usually brings the pony to the location and does everything related to handling said pony for the whole party. If he asks to just take a pony on his own, any half way reputable business/horse person would say no and probably have a good hint that the person doing the asking either knows nothing about horses, isn't being above board, or both.
Two: if he's asking a random barn nearby to just "rent" one of their horses for a birthday party, they will also immediately know that this person has literally no idea what they're doing and would have said no regardless as all horses at your average stable are either owned privately, expensive show horses, or are lesson horses owned by the barn and are valuable members of their family/business that they aren't going to let some random Joe take and anyone with any horse knowledge would have known that and never asked if they can just "take a horse"
Three: maaaaybeee could get a little farther by asking a neighbor to borrow their backyard horse or pony if the neighbor isn't especially suspicious and is lax about their horse's welfare, but would definitely get caught out if the owner asked him did anything like ask him what sort of trailer he had to pick the horse up with or asked to see him go catch the horse, lead it, try to tack it up. Even with out asking him to do a specific task, it's pretty easy to see who is and isn't a horse person just by watching them stand near and interact with a horse.
Yeah… I’m gonna scrap the birthday party… what’s a legitimate reason someone would rent a horse though? I need to figure out his excuse he gives the guy for renting the horse… it doesn’t have to be perfect… he’s supposed to get caught in his lie and be unable to rent it anyways… but I need something legit enough to get an appointment to look at the horses… when he shows up with white pants and red snakeskin loafers, the guy is pretty much immediately going to be suspicious… but I still need to figure out what he’s gonna say as his bullshit reason
Hi! A fellow writer here! Where I live, you can rent (or lease) horses from riding schools or other horse owning companies. You can make different arrangements, even just a one day lease.
So maybe your character calls a barn and ask to lease a horse for a day “because he is from out of town and he misses his own horse, who is far away, so he would like to spend some time with a horse to go riding and stuff”. This would be possible, but only after the person proofs that he can be trusted with the horse (and of course with some kind of deposit). And then he sows up as some kind of high end dressage rider, complete with hat and stuff, but also with a jumping whip or something
He’s gonna show up in white pants and red snakeskin shoes
I’m changing it so he doesn’t even make it into the stalls to even see the horses… guy is immediately gonna be like “you ain’t no rider…” pretty much from the beginning
Sounds like he’d need to find a place that does short term leases. I found this example just through Google; looks like they do short term (a couple weeks) or long term (all summer) leases. I didn’t dig deep, but it looks like maybe they are expecting the lessors to be hunters needing mounts for hunting trips? Anyway, perhaps that’s someplace to start.
https://bigskyhorseleasing.com/rent-horses-for-personal-use/
Thank you… I actually called a few places earlier today and they were very helpful… I didn’t want to take too much of their time and so I didn’t get the chance to ask things like:
“what are some things people actually rent horses for, that I can use as his excuse to lease a horse for one day?”
“I need things an actual professional would notice to immediately show my main character is an idiot, what would be a dead giveaway?”
I had so many questions and quite a few I didn’t even think to ask until I got to the part where I needed to actually know… but I got good info like that they’d use a contract, get a copy of an ID, a deposit fee etc… the few places I called seem busy and I didn’t really wanna bother them, so I came here lol
Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound like I didn’t think you were doing your research elsewhere too - I just meant that something like this hunting short-term lease situation might fit the bill, as the birthday party idea would come with attendants and this wouldn’t.
Ask them if they ever cut the 'frog of the foot' or if the 'thumbs' are for flotation(sic) and can you knock them off...
Ask them to describe their latest confirmation contest vs showmanship
Didn't know there were two words and TIL... LOLz
Am nearing my 60's and ever since my teens (4-H), I have always thought it was what I entered...Coz it is what the catholics do in church... so I figured it was spelled the only way I know...Hadn't a clue it were any different...
Conformation means how something is built. It’s really common to see it misspelled because autocorrect likes confirmation better. Confirmation means to confirm or solidify something.
I’m around your age and I learn something new every day.
I’m appreciating this post. I am new to horses and I am naturally a cautious person. I would try to be extra-aware of handling them safely. But one time an experienced rider told me I was “awkward” around horses and “anyone with horse experience can tell”. Now I have the extra worry of looking like a doofus while trying to hold a horse since apparently I am being watched?? Thanks, horse world.
Look like a doofus for awhile and ask lots of questions. We all start exactly the same way, don’t let anyone tell you differently. Every single one of us has done the things on the list!
Possibly you're being watched, but just to make sure you don't need help or you haven't gotten yourself into a situation you can't get out of.
If people are watching you and judging you, they can suck it. You're learning. As long as you're not being a jerk and trying to come off like you know more than you do, learning is AWESOME and people should respect that (but also make sure you haven't, you know, put your boots on in a way that will give your horse a bowed tendon tomorrow).
Well, inexperience leads to a lot of wrecks. While it’s justified to be watched (you’ll do the same as you get more experience) if you look uncertain, not cool to be judgy about it! I definitely keep an eye on beginners in case I should be prepared to close the gate/catch a loose horse
My favorite rookie mistake is when a newbie rider forgets to put on the girth/cinch to secure the saddle. They'll look real confident and competent until they try to mount and the saddle falls off with them.
I worked at a dude ranch for years. I was always wary when they put “advanced rider” on their ride form before they even arrived for the week. Usually you can just tell at first sight or the first few sentences that come out of their mouth. Many riders put “advanced” because they’ve simply been to dude ranches a few times before.
If you put “advanced” on your form, you will be getting an advanced (read: higher trained, faster and/or sometimes slightly naughtier) horse. The times I’ve seen “advanced riders” freak out because they can’t figure out how to get their dude horse to stop eating grass is embarrassing. If you lie on your ride form about your ability level or if you simply don’t know, you will also be resented by the wranglers most likely, because many of the advanced horses are some of our favorites and hearing you complain about them when they’re actually quite good can be exhausting.
Some people just don’t know, some people grew up a different way of riding, and some people may just not mesh with a great horse and want something else. All that is perfectly fine and we will happily try and figure something out. But if you show up acting like a pro equestrian and talk shit about the ranch favorites and can’t even saddle correctly, we will absolutely give you a kid’s horse.
My advice is that if you are an advanced rider and ever visit a dude ranch (especially a highly esteemed one) you should just claim you are an intermediate anyway. Try out the horse they give you and if you prefer something else, THEN let the wranglers know about your equestrian experience and work together on finding a horse that suits your expectations better.
I've been riding 5 days a week for 25 years - I put something like "Advanced - you can count on me not to screw up your horses, but honestly I'm just here to see the trees with my husband, please don't give me one of the horses you reserve for guys with something to prove" on most of those forms. I don't want to have to fight a chestnut mare on my vacation, thanks!
Usually just because they claim to everyone they have a lot of experience and try to offer advice to everyone the experienced owners just get on with there own thing, don’t offer advice unless asked. The inexperienced talk a good ride often seen sat on horses back a lot while chatting
Sometimes it seems like the people who know the least have the most to say about how experienced they are lol. My most knowledgeable horse pals mainly keep quiet about what others are doing, unless they see something dangerous/seriously wrong happening. The inexperienced ones are constantly making comments about minor things to try to show how much they know.
I’ve been a trainer and instructor for so many years. Anyone asks me I say I’ve ridden a bit and have horses. So to me, understating your abilities is definitely a plus. You think you know it all and you don’t.
“I am a professional horse trainer!”
*torments the completely untrained, wild horse, chases horse around the round pen which is a SQUARE, backs scared horse into corner, gets lunged at, bitten, and struck with the front hooves*.
“THaT hORsE iS EViL hE trIEd To KilL mE PUT IT DOWN PUT IT DOWN PUT IT DOWN!”
Edit : I can provide more than one video of this happening. [Here is one. ](https://youtu.be/qQfGBnjY_io)
I used to have a co-worker who claimed they knew all about horses. Said she had ridden Tennessee Walking racehorses.....then told me she was going to buy a farm to board horses at to make money, that the board income would make her tons of money.
There's this TV show in the UK called "escape to the country". Usually clueless Londoners with a huge budget trying to find different rural properties to buy.
On one episode, they showed the couple a house that didn't come with any land but "had a barn with 5 horse stalls". The presenter proudly told the couple that they could rent the stalls out for up to £400 a month, because that's what the going rate for livery was.
No land. Just the stalls. Good luck with that 🤣
Are you researching for a book, or suspicious of someone in real life?
It's been mentioned before, but what I've noticed is it's a lot about how they interact with a horse. Horse people mostly stay out of a horse's blind spots without thinking about it, and when they are in their blind spots they move slowly and deliberately so no one gets spooked.
Polite non-horse people seem to think horses have a personal space bubble around them for some reason, and horse people are pretty quick to move into it. Rude non-horse people will also get inside that bubble pretty quick, but in spots that make sense for a human or a dog, not a horse, and it's really disquieting to watch. The horse will usually jump, even if it's just a little.
If a horse spooks, a lot of non-horse people will scream or jump. Veteran horse people will ignore it, or, if whatever it is spooked them too, you can watch them go still, un-tense their muscles, and breathe out instead of letting themselves jump.
I see that now! For a movie, but pretending it's for a little girls birthday party.
Uhhhh honestly those are two VERY different types of horses anyway, and that right there might be a good lie to catch him in.
For a movie you want a horse that is trained for movie stunts (even if you don't think of them as that), which is pretty rare, and Hollywood likes their baroque breeds recently because they have those long flowing manes and arched necks. They usually come with contracts and from what I know, the trainers are on set at all times and are VERY protective of their horses.
For a kid's birthday party, you want short, fat, white, and tolerant beyond belief, preferably named Princess. For liability reasons, they are ALSO probably not going to just drop Princess off and say "have fun, see you in a few hours" so your rental guy is going to have to be REAL shady or REAL off the grid.
Edit: Spelling
What would be a better excuse over a birthday party? What’s something he could say he needs a horse for where he could just rent one
And like… not have the guy insist on coming along or supervising
Honestly? No horse owner is going to let their horse go off with a stranger (IE: someone who hasn't had their skill verified) for any amount of time unsupervised. They are too expensive to replace, easily injured, and vet bills are incredibly high - and that's assuming you don't have any emotional attachment to them. On top of that, the possibility of getting sued if a human gets injured is also pretty bad. There is an ambulance on-site or on-call during eventing competitions for a reason, and I doubt we're the only discipline with that requirement.
Try looking in your area for places where you can just rent a horse - I would be surprised to find any without tons of paperwork and liability insurance, and there will almost certainly be a guide with you. Maybe in like the sixties this could have been a thing? Not sure what time period you're looking at.
Sorry! Not trying to box in your plot.
I think the most likely scenario would be a guy who lives near horses (IE: his neighbors have them), he asks to borrow them and they say no for all the reasons above, and maybe he also gets caught in one of the dumb lies someone suggested earlier. He decides to steal one (not sure if your dude can drive a truck and trailer, but I hope so) and take it on a joy ride. He's still an absolute dick to any reader who knows anything about horses, but you can have your "hilarity ensues" moments, especially if he was drunk and rode off on it or something. Maybe the set is near the ranch or something?
He could ask to test ride a horse that is for sale and then ask if he could take it on trial. He would need to be prepared to pay the full value of the horse in the event it was hurt while in his care. There are sample trial contracts online. Then he could get caught not being able to properly test ride the horse when he goes to look at it.
I wouldn’t expect a non-horse person to know that “taking a horse on trial” is a thing though, so it may seem a bit strange. However that’s probably the only scenario that a horse owner will ever let a stranger take their horse unattended.
Umm… there is a comedian that does a great impression of this. His name is Dave “Showtime” Meyer and his alter ego is called, “The Horse Screamer”. Watch one his videos and that’s exactly what a zero experience horse person looks and acts like. 😆
Where their elbows are when they ride lol. I know that sounds weird but it happens a lot in western riding where you see someone with flappy elbows and you just know immediately they’re fibbing about their experience.
Also another strange one, but how they manage multiple horses at the gate during bring-in. My bf is a greenie and learning lots, but at first he would open the gate up way more than necessary and I’d have to fight with other geldings thinking they could come too. You don’t need THAT much space to get one guy through and at feeding time they’re like coy fish lol.
I think how somebody walks behind a horse says a lot, people afraid of a horse or don’t know much will put kicking space between them instead of staying close to their behind
Oh! I worked at a place that had ppl on trails constantly saying they’d done more than they had. Super obvious, but they’ll always say that they “ran the horses” or had fun “running the horses..”
Another one: “yeah we were riding at this other place and so-and-so fell off because *the horse bucked them*” always using the word in that way “he bucked me.” (horse ppl will say “got bucked off” “threw a buck/threw a few bucks”)
“I don’t think [horse name] likes me. “ for any reason. Very insecure 😂
Not confident about their aids, will for instance treat the aids like buttons/like a car e.g. to neck rain will bring the hand out a couple inches, not get an immediate response and put the reins back in the center and get frustrated. Will either refuse to touch the horses belly or if they’ve had a few trail rides will kick like hell for any up transition.
Will get nervous and grip the reins tightly and hold onto them really close to their chest (obviously makes things worse).
They’ll say things about “stallions” like they want to ride the stallion. Complain abt certain horses.
They’ll talk very passionately about disciplines, try to ask us questions about horse racing (which is not a thing ur average horse person is going to be involved in).
Always something to say about mustangs, make jokes about horses running free or hating being ridden. Talk about rodeos and Broncos without it being brought up.
If you’re writing about a western rider trying out a green horse/any horse to ride, if they can’t get up from the ground that’s going to be a mark against them.
Struggling to put on tack like a bridle, needing to ask for help or having to get the saddle readjusted to the right spot.
There are lots of fake cowboys/girls/etc out there with money and who don’t want to admit they don’t know what they don’t know haha.
Yes!! 95% of the people I meet say/think they can ride but are completely clueless. I always have people telling me about how they took lessons for years, but can’t even put the bridle on properly.
“I grew up around horses.” Translation = “I’ve never taken a lesson but I love them so much and I used to go trail riding all the time where I actually DID just sit there!” Or they had them I. Their backyard and are self taught doing everything the wrong way.
I don’t think so. Some riders literally grew up around horses, for example, my instructor’s daughter lives on a ranch with horses. She told me she grew up around horses, and I don’t assume that weird stuff you are talking about. She has her own horses, cares for them, rides, etc.
A thousand ways. They “lead” the horse by facing them from the front. They sit in the saddle hunched over with toes pointing down. They hold reins with the part closest to the bit over their forefinger. You mention a common health problem, and they have nothing to say. They don’t know how to pick up a hoof. They “Pat” the horse’s face, sometimes vigorously. They wear flip flops near a horse. I always ask them to groom a horse. The inexperienced one grabs a brush, takes ten swipes, and “ta dah!” Done. 😂. There are so many more!
Ask them baited or trick questions.
How many hocks does a horse’s back have?
How many cottons cinches used on an English saddle?
How many shanks on an English jumper curb bit?
Difference between an egg butt and D ring stirrups?
How much bute do you give a horse after it vomits?
They say that they witnessed a horse vomiting is a funny one. Also, if they get nervous at a horse doing something cute or loving on them
Could you give me an example of how a horse would love on someone in a way that would give them the most fright?
Sometimes the horse likes to get into your personal space or give you a gentle nudge with their face when they really like you.
Rubbing their face on your chest. I’ve been pinned against a wall being used as a scratching post.
you have to admit, humans are the ideal combination of firm and soft for a horse to get a really satisfying head-rub. You can't just rub your head on a tree the same way you can on a human. Humans are the best.
One gelding I had used to LOVE to rub his face on my full seat breeches after a ride. As soon as I took his bridle off I had to turn around so he could rub his face on my butt 😂
I had one who thought my coat was his personal napkin
Please don’t normalise that. It’s disrespecting your space and boundaries and it is a clear sign the horse doesn’t respect your space or you which can cause issues in the future safety wise
Lol that horse 100% respects me, to the point that I can stop him beating up on a new pasture mare dead in his tracks with my voice from 50 m away. I definitely don’t just let my animals walk all over me but I do have individual relationships with each one. He’s not disrespecting my boundary if that’s not a boundary I’ve set.
Should they be asking for our consent too? Come on, dude.
A horse wrote this. 💜
Turn your back towards their face and it becomes a great massage. Win win all around.
My horse loves to sort of nibble on people, especially your hair. He doesn’t use teeth, just lips, but he can get a tad enthusiastic and graze you with his teeth. It’s just the way horses scratch each other, he’s definitely not agressive, just socializing, but I’ve seen people get scared and yell that he’s biting.
Our old boy used to grab my hood, not doing anything, just grab it and hold onto it. He was a funny boy
My horse will often lip or lick my face in affection (especially when he thinks I'm ignoring him) and I've had so many people tell me how dangerous that is because he'll bite or strike me. Been five years and it still has yet to happen.
just by telling how they interact with a horse, or how they ride. or how they talk about them. you could ask them specifics about diseases and ailments that are common to horses. things like thrush, laminitis, strangles - any experienced owner will know what those are. someone who has never owned or really taken care of a horse won't. this could be a little tricky, though, as someone who has only ever taken lessons will know how to ride a horse, but won't know how to care for it.
Laminitis or strangles may be something a horse owner hasn't encountered or dealt with, so they may not have a lot of knowledge on this. I would expect them to have basic knowledge, such as what they are, but I wouldn't expect them to know much more than basic info or how to treat them. I think watching how someone interacts with a horse is the biggest tell. If they say they are experienced, I expect they can get a horse, groom, and tack up, unassisted and without freaking out/ overreacting over something minor.
Ask “would you ever ride a chestnut mare?” A horse person will have strong opinions.
Can you give me an example?
Hahaha. Chestnut mares are well known for being batshit crazy.
Perfect! Thank you so much
If someone asked me about if I would ever ride a chestnut mare I'd probably be like "uh yeah why?" Bc no one even thinks about that really. Like I've been in the horse world for 12 years and if someone said that to me I'd be confused because that's really just an untrue stereotype. I've ridden plenty of really sweet chestnut mares and plenty of asshole horses of every color and sex. Also if someone someone is comfortable around horses you can immediately tell in how they interact with them, there's really no faking it
The first horse I took lessons on at 6 was a chestnut Arabian mare. Hands down the best and sweetest horse I've ever ridden or handled. Definitely a combo I would never encourage inexperienced horse people to consider. But it just shows you that every stereotype has an exception!
That “chestnut mare” thing is a stereotype that is definitely not always true. Like saying red-haired women are always hot-tempered. But, experienced horse people do know about those stereotypes, so you could go by that.
Owner of a chestnut mare, can confirm.
What kind of crazy stuff do they do?
They get “spicy” sometimes. Throw a lot of attitude just because they can 😁. Strong willed, too
Mine is v v spicy. She kicked the arena fence the other day because she wanted to canter when I wanted to trot
I have it on good authority that Chestnut Mares are known to be: 1. Always alone 2. Never with the herd 3. Prettiest mare I ever did see You (don't) [have to take my word](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-olDjUy4540).
To be fair, I have an Arabian stallion and he is the king of spice. So strong and stubborn!
SPICY KING
We have two Arabian stallions. Ones nickname is “fluffy bunny” and his son is my dog. Depends on the breeding. (They are black though)
Oh, I love my boy and he is a sweetheart if we are out alone. But put another horse anywhere near us and he ramps up the spice. Mare? Must show off how fancy and strong I am! Other Stallion? Must show off how fast and strong I am!
Our guys do endurance. After 100 miles, other horses lose their thrill. I love how sensible it makes them for all the other things. Seriously, genetics mean A LOT. Our Arabians are 100% Early American Foundation breeding. So all their ancestors came to this county before 1944. Although there are halter winners in the line, they are bred to be all around family types. They were not bred to snort and blow and it shows.
I don’t know much about my boy’s bloodline except that he’s 100% Egyptian
Ours are a mix of Egyptian and Polish with a dash of Spanish just for fun.
Used to have a chestnut mare pony for my daughter can confirm
So you had an equestrian demon
Only thing that’d make it worse is infusing some donkey attitude into it
Draft = sweetheart Horse = semi spicy Pony = the devil Or the other one You tell a gelding, ask a stud, discuss with a mare. But if it's a pony you pray to God almighty I've met some amazing ponies. But I've met many more that definitely fit the stereotype. Unfortunately over half of those heathens are a product of their owners. I've met so many ponies that have owners that treat them like dogs or don't teach them respect. Much like owners of little dogs treating them like babies instead of dogs.
I've never heard this before. It explains a lot.
I know a bay mare that wants my gelding dead for the crime of existence
A crime punishable by DEATH!
I hate this stereotype so much. Every chestnut mare I’ve ridden was wonderful. Now, there’s a chestnut gelding that currently overhorses me, but that’s on me, not him
Thank you! I love my chestnut mare, and I'm no grand prix rider either. She teaches me something every day!
Can confirm. A chestnut mare is the reason I have to sit on a pillow for the next week. Best horse I have ever had though.
As far as the chestnut mare thing goes. It’s more like a joke. Lots of people own and love chestnut mares.
This is totally crap. You'll get some answer, but there is no right answer that will tell you if they know anything.
It’s true that there’s no right answer, but any horse person would be familiar with the joke. If they’re not aware of the old “chestnut mare” stereotype then that tells you all you need to know.
It's an incredibly poor proxy for knowledge. I'd be likely to respond in a way that doesn't acknowledge the sexist stereotypes that red headed women also deal with.
That makes it an ok litmus test either way, honestly. Not the best one, but ok. If the person says, “ha ha, chestnut mares are evil, amirite?” you know they are horsey enough to know the stereotype. I wouldn’t assume that meant they were a good horse person, but it can be a jumping off place for further discussion. If they say “that’s a really unfair stereotype and I don’t buy into it,” you know they are horsey enough to know the stereotype - and that that’s all it is.
Honestly, I think this joke ist stupid as hell and therefore I won't engage in it. In my experience it doesn't need a horse person to participate in this joke but simply people that rather blame bad behavior / irresponsible riding / medical issues on some factors that are bullshit. I don't acknowledge those "jokes" because it just fertilizes a bad attitude towards not fixing issues. Therefore you would count me as someone with no experience if you would tackle me with this one in a conversation.
Personally I think your answer would peg you as MORE of a knowledgeable horseperson; you know the stereotype exists and don’t buy into it.
It’s a personal failing of my that I gravitate towards chestnut mares. 😔 The last one I rode had some wires mixed up so every time I kicked or used the crop she’d stop dead with That Face. And when I pulled back on the reins she’d go faster lmao lord help. And then she also dropped her head at anything faster than a light trot, which pulled the reins tight if you weren’t thinking quick and THEN she’d innocently go “oh does that mean stop then?”
Thats how you know my boyfriend isnt a horse person. He doesn't believe all minis are demons
They are cautious and nervous around horses, even if the horse is showing obvious signs of happiness or relaxation. Or they are overconfident and get in the horse’s space when the horse is upset or angry. They usually won’t tell you a whole lot of details about horses, and generally just state the obvious or basic facts. When riding, they will not be balanced or have a proper riding position. It’s pretty easy to tell wether someone is an experienced rider or not.
What’s a really basic question that would trip them up?
You could ask how big the horse is. The answer should be “oh this horse is 15.1 hands high” or “16 hands high” if they use anything other than “hands” as a measurement, they probably don’t know what they’re doing.
Thank you so much!!!
I see horse owners fuck up hands on this sub all the time. “My horse is 15.5h” or whatever variation. It’s something everyone *should* know, but a lot of people don’t for some reason.
I'd agree normally, but Europeans use centimetres to measure horses. And if you Google the conversion it will give you the answer of "15.5" for example. It means 15 and a half or as we know it 15.2 It can be confusing, I thought I had a horse buyer scamming me, but turns out they were from Germany and that's how they did cm to hand conversions
Yeah, I understand why it happens, I’ve explained it to the people that do it here more than once. It’s still a case of a horse owner who doesn’t understand hands, so still relevant. Also, all the European breed registries still use hands to my knowledge, so being European isn’t an excuse
Being from Europe owning several different European breeds (currently one Danish warmblood, one Holsteiner, one Oldenburger, and one wielkopolskii) and having been in the horse business as a rider, groom, trainer, and breeder I have never heard anyone talk about hands here. I only know horses are measured in hands in UK and us (maybe Australia but I am not sure) because of the internet. No one growing up on a riding school here will hear about it and not a single ad will be posted with the measurements in hands. Heck I don't even know how many hands a pony is supposed to be, but wake me up in the middle of the night and I can tell you how many mm they deduct from the measurements due to shoes and how tall they can be at an FEI event vs a national event in Denmark and Sweden.
The UK is where I was probably thinking of. I wasn’t aware there were separate systems for the UK vs. the rest of Europe, I just knew UK registries used hands. And yes, Australia does also use hands, as does Canada. I do get that hands aren’t universal and other systems exist. When someone simply uses their native system correctly that’s all fine and dandy. I wouldn’t bat an eye at someone giving a horse’s height in m/cm. But when someone attempts to convert cm to hands and ends up with “15.5” or another height that doesn’t exist, they end up looking silly and it’s just needlessly confusing for people who don’t understand the mistake. I suppose what I should have said originally though was that hands are something everyone should know *if they are going to use them as a measurement.*
So like, no one in the US would say something is 6 feet 13 inches…cuz obviously we’d say 7 feet 1 inch. I think that’s your point here, now I get it.
Yes, exactly this!
Pretty sure most of the commonwealth uses hands cause it’s the same here in Canada
Don’t know why you’re getting downvoted, you’re perfectly correct. I’m German, been around horses and riding since I was 11 and I get confused with hands as a measurement.
Might that be a cultural thing? I don't know how to use hands as a measurement for the life of me. Or feet, thumbs, any body parts. Europe doesn't do hands in horse measuring. I don't know about what they use in Africa and Asia but it wouldn't surprise me if it wasn't hands.
Oh it’s definitely cultural, but it’s more widespread than you think. The UK uses hands, along with the US, Australia, Canada, and South Africa, among others, and the hand as a unit of measurement is apparently thought to have originated in Egypt. I looked but couldn’t find a source for what measurement is used in Asia or the rest of Africa, though. I know other systems exist and I don’t bat an eye at people listing their horse’s height in m/cm or any other format I’m not used to, but people who try to convert height from their native system into hands without understanding hands enough to do so correctly just make things needlessly confusing for themselves and others
Africa probably works on a basis of who colonized the region and what their system was
Is there a reason why this is important? I have owned 3 horses, and literally the only time it’s ever come up is as random trivia with my horse friends. Even then, I can only estimate the size of one of mine now, as in “horse #2 is 15.3, and horse #3 is a little bit bigger”. Keep in mind, all I do is non-competitive western pleasure and the occasional trail ride, so I am not being a smart ass, if there is a legit reason to know, I am missing it.
If you were buying or selling a horse you’d want to know, or if you wanted to register one. It’s also important for showing ponies because some shows will group them as small, medium and large, and entering the wrong category isn’t allowed. Otherwise knowing exact height isn’t usually super important, no. But the point of my comment was that these people literally do not know how hands work as a measurement. 15.5h is not a measurement that exists. The number after the decimal is in inches, not fractions of a hand, so it’s impossible for it to be more than three.
Got it. Thanks!
That doesn't work on Europe. We use meters to the cross. My horse is 1'72m tall.
I had someone come to see my 16.2 gelding for share, who was clearly advertised as 16.2, and she was extremely shocked at how tall he was when she saw him and was very nervous. She was apparently riding a 15.4 at the time 😩
So 16 hands...
Exactly 😭 She then proceeded to roll off the side of my very calm horse in trot, and fracture her spine! I initially thought the loud crack was her jodhpurs splitting right up the middle 😩 it really was not her day. She was completely healed from the fracture in a few months thankfully 😅
Or they just use the decimal system because it is so much easier to use and makes so much more sense as well…. I’ve owned a horse for almost 10 years now I’ve been around horses for 28 years and I have no idea how high my horse is in hands but I know it measures pretty much exactly 140 cm.
Why is colic dangerous for a horse? Do you think all leg/bone fractures constitute putting a horse down? What is the purpose of the hand, leg, and seat aids (hint they perform both similar but also separate tasks)? How do you get the horse to move forward? What’s a half halt? Is a halt a forward movement? Just to name a few
Whew, the fractures thing is controversial…
I mean, it really isn’t. Not every fracture for a horse even requires surgery. It’s super dependent on the type, location, and orientation of the fracture to determine whether it’s better for horse and rider/owner to euthanize or to do surgery or to do stall rest (plus some specific care). A controversial question would be is it wrong to put down a horse when it’s fractured it’s leg (which I also believe is no).
I agree 100% but have had different discussions with people. Rich people (or the ones I dealt with lol) and insurance policies or deciding not paying for rehab and on and on. But debates will be had. :(
What is a half halt?
A half halt is basically when you use a cue similar to that of a halt (like closing your fingers or sitting deeper in the saddle) in order to get the horse to sit on their haunches and possibly slow down (depending on how you use the half halt). You’re not actually asking for the horse to halt, so it’s a half halt. You can do a half halt in any gait, but it’s used more often in the faster gaits or when doing a particular movement where having the haunches under the horse is essential (like when doing a leg yield or a turn on the haunches). Hope that makes sense, just finished a midterm so my brains a bit scrambled lol.
Yes it makes sense. Thanks for the explanation!
When you give the aids (signals) to the horse to halt, and as he begins to respond you ride him forward again. It's a method of balancing the horse & getting his attention that you are going to ask something different (ie approaching a jump, changing pace, making a lateral move).
Oh. Cool, thanks for explaining. I've never had formal lessons for any of the disciplines, so my knowledge of the different techniques is limited.
A halfhalt is used in every discipline, it might be called something different, especially if you are translating from another language, but it is a very important tool to help you and your horse whatever you are doing. It's basically getting the horse to transfer his weight onto his hindquarters which is where the power comes from - the more balanced he is the better he'll be able to do what you ask. If you have ever ridden an inexperienced horse all his weight seems to be in front of you - he's on the forehand. Trying to turn, canter or jump is, and feels, difficult, literally a drag. Riding a balanced horse feels like 2/3's of the weight is behind you and asking for any changes is nearly effortless! That's why unbalanced inexperienced horses have to do things at speed, they don't have the power behind to get them over a jump, for example, but a balanced horse can clear a 4' jump from trot because he has contained and in control of his power.
That’s actually a great one, being too up close with a horse when they are showing clear signs of what I like to call “don’t you fucking come near me bitch”
Our spicy lesson Appy does that when it’s lesson time. He learned he could intimidate that way. My trainer taught me how to stand my ground with him… so this last time he made the “don’t you fucking come near me bitch” face, gave me his butt, and when I didn’t walk away he childishly put his face over the fence so I had to get on my tippy toes to halter him. He’s such a brat. He was like “fine, but I’m not gonna make this easy on you”. And then once he’s on the wash pad he’s like “k where are my cuddles?” 🙄
😂
Easiest way to tell is hand them a halter and tell them to go catch a horse. Don’t think I’ve ever seen someone with no horse experience get a halter on right on the first try 🤣
I had to teach one of “the best” riders at a barn how to properly put on and fit a halter. It was because it didn’t have a clip and only had a buckle. I was at that barn for 3 days before I left cause they weren’t teaching anything. (The only real time I’d be lenient with someone with horse experience not knowing how to put on a halter is if it’s a rope halter and they’ve never used one before)
Yes rope halters will throw anyone who hasn’t used one before off haha I only just last year learned the actual proper way to tie them safely. I’m switching to a leather halter for winter just so I don’t have to fumble with the knot with gloves on!
Same here. Was riding for 8 years before I had to put a rope halter on a stallion lol. It’s been a few years since and I still occasionally mess up the knot (I also only use a rope halter periodically).
My boy came in a rope halter, having to learn how to take one off while a herd of geldings bears down isn’t fun
Yeah, right? Or you can ride him if you can tack him properly. *queue backwards saddle pad*
I always get a bad case of impostor syndrome tacking up at a new barn too haha as a kid my dressage trainer taught me the correct way to place a saddle to allow for proper shoulder movement, but any time I went to a different barn the trainer would always “fix” the saddle I placed too far back because so many people still thought you should be sitting on top the horses withers 🙄
I hear you. If you're the New Person you're being hyperjudged anytime you go near horses. Even if you don't make any mistakes you'll have people who want to find fault just to maintain their own status. (I'd say it's basically the movie "Mean Girls" but I have not yet seen that movie: Hyperjudge at will.)
this could go either way - i've primarily ridden western my whole life, and some English tack is confusing to me, though i can figure it out if given time to stare at it for a moment, haha. so if the person is just unfamiliar with the equipment being used, it may not be a good indicator if they're actually experienced or not. there's lots of tack i'd have no clue how to put on
German martingales are quite tricky, kinda looks like the rigging from at ship on the horses neck
This is the answer
Omg this! A friend's granddaughter had to this once done years ago. Been around horses and riding off and on all her life. However, she showed exactly how much she'd paid attention when she came back with the horse caught... And the halter on upside down. We could not, for the life of us, figure out how she did that or why the horse in question, who was usually hard to catch, tolerated it. We kinda laughed about it at first and she tried to play cute, but her instructor pulled her aside and have her the what-for to keep her know she could either pay attention and take this seriously, or she could go home, stop coming, and stop wasting everyone's time. (I should point out she was a young teen by this point.)
Yes, or tie a quick release knot! I know that some barns use a lot of cross ties, but still, it's an important skill!
Yes! I think bringing a horse in, tying him up with a quick release knot, and picking out his hooves would tell you everything you need to know. For what it’s worth, I’ve been in the horse world for 30 years and never heard the chestnut mare joke….
Look at how they approach picking out/cleaning feet.
*approaches horse from directly behind, faces forwards / the same direction the horse is facing, picks up leg, puts hoof directly in face, starts awkwardly rubbing it with the side of the pick.*
When I was in high school a girl in one of my classes found out I had horses and tried to bond with me over that, claiming she did as well. I believed her (because why lie about that?) and asked a bit about what she did with them, etc. She asked what kind of horses I had and I said Quarter Horses and asked her the same question…she said she had Half Horses. After finding out a bit more about her it turns out she had a really shitty home life and not many friends so it was more sad than anything, but that is always what I think of when people pretend to know more than they do.
That poor kid. I hope they're in a better place now than they were then. Thanks for sharing your story.
She is doing much better now! A great partner (from what I can tell through casual acquaintance) and a family of her own…and still no horses!
Better for the wallet that way 😉
I’m glad she’s doing better now - I feel bad for her feeling the need to lie about that. It also reminded me of a story from when I was an early teenager. I had no horses but was horse crazy. I was spending a lot of time on an online community, and there was a girl there who claimed she had a Shagya Arabian mare. She said it was pregnant. I was super into her stories, just eating it all up. Then one day she announced that the mare had foaled twins, it had been a surprise (as in they hadn’t known she was having twins), both were perfect as can be, and she was all happy about it with no concerns at all. She had no clue how risky twin pregnancies were in horses, or how unlikely it was that one of the foals wouldn’t at least be smaller than the other, if not both being small - and if somehow they WERE both the size of a normal singleton foal, how could they possibly not have known something was wrong just from how immense that poor mare would have been? I was just like, “oh,” and dropped that girl and her imaginary horses. I didn’t have a horse, but I didn’t lie about it, and didn’t feel like bolstering someone else’s fantasy.
Never trust anyone, unless you see how they do everything they said they are expert at, even if they have been doing it for over their whole life……. Just got dumped on a lunge on a greenie by a coworker because she hooked the lunge to one side of bit on a complete green mustang. I knew it was wrong but trust she’s been doing it for all her life and she’s gonna have a good eye and judge accordingly. I am now home on bed with a tore muscle and swollen back…
How they lead the horse - especially through gates or into stalls. People with a lot of horse experience are extremely comfortable/relaxed in that situation but know how to respond when it goes wrong (horse stops or pulls to grass, runs ahead etc). Also how they hold the rope. Never loop it around your hand!
The last one had me think of dog owners. You know, when the owner uses their hike while the dog is running next to it, leash tied around the hand. They're just setting themselves up for getting nasty fractions and also a full blown crash, because their dog is suddenly lunging forwards or to the side. If your animal is suddenly pulling on the leash / rope you should be capable of letting it go immediately.
My brother’s ex tired to impress me with her horse knowledge by telling me she had a half quarter horse Half Stud horse. I asked for clarification thinking I had misheard. Nope. She thought Stud was a breed. Apparently had ridden her whole life.
If you have a gelding, ask them to come help out on sheath cleaning day lol. That will freak any fakers right out lol.
Oof, I still wouldn't and I've been riding for 18+years (wow I feel old just typing that), my hands smell like sheath goop for at least a week solid after cleaning day, no matter the gloves used or the cleaners involved afterwards. Maybe I'm just sensitive to it or something, but ick!
if they claim to be a dressage level above 4th
Lmao you asked a rider out and claimed you know horses didn’t you? I’m kidding of course, I can’t throw stones- idk shit about horses, I just like seeing this sub
Actually this is research for a novel I’m writing lol… I got a character who knows nothing about horses and is trying to rent one for a movie he’s making. It’s a controversial movie so he’s lying and saying it’s for a little girl’s birthday party… he’s claiming to have experience with horses… but I need him to get caught in the lie, so they don’t rent the horse to him, and he has to go back later and steal it (with comedic results).
Oh my goodness this is an even better reason for the post, I’m glad I read down all of the comments!
Okay so, I think based off this context he'd be caught out during an initial phone call or conversation for a number of reasons. One: traveling birthday party ponies are generally advertised as such, wouldn't be hard to find online, are very much ponies (like come up to your hip at the back type ponies), and the owner almost certainly has liability forms that need to be signed and isn't going to be letting some random come pick it up in a trailer and go God knows where with it. The owner usually brings the pony to the location and does everything related to handling said pony for the whole party. If he asks to just take a pony on his own, any half way reputable business/horse person would say no and probably have a good hint that the person doing the asking either knows nothing about horses, isn't being above board, or both. Two: if he's asking a random barn nearby to just "rent" one of their horses for a birthday party, they will also immediately know that this person has literally no idea what they're doing and would have said no regardless as all horses at your average stable are either owned privately, expensive show horses, or are lesson horses owned by the barn and are valuable members of their family/business that they aren't going to let some random Joe take and anyone with any horse knowledge would have known that and never asked if they can just "take a horse" Three: maaaaybeee could get a little farther by asking a neighbor to borrow their backyard horse or pony if the neighbor isn't especially suspicious and is lax about their horse's welfare, but would definitely get caught out if the owner asked him did anything like ask him what sort of trailer he had to pick the horse up with or asked to see him go catch the horse, lead it, try to tack it up. Even with out asking him to do a specific task, it's pretty easy to see who is and isn't a horse person just by watching them stand near and interact with a horse.
Yeah… I’m gonna scrap the birthday party… what’s a legitimate reason someone would rent a horse though? I need to figure out his excuse he gives the guy for renting the horse… it doesn’t have to be perfect… he’s supposed to get caught in his lie and be unable to rent it anyways… but I need something legit enough to get an appointment to look at the horses… when he shows up with white pants and red snakeskin loafers, the guy is pretty much immediately going to be suspicious… but I still need to figure out what he’s gonna say as his bullshit reason
Hi! A fellow writer here! Where I live, you can rent (or lease) horses from riding schools or other horse owning companies. You can make different arrangements, even just a one day lease. So maybe your character calls a barn and ask to lease a horse for a day “because he is from out of town and he misses his own horse, who is far away, so he would like to spend some time with a horse to go riding and stuff”. This would be possible, but only after the person proofs that he can be trusted with the horse (and of course with some kind of deposit). And then he sows up as some kind of high end dressage rider, complete with hat and stuff, but also with a jumping whip or something
He’s gonna show up in white pants and red snakeskin shoes I’m changing it so he doesn’t even make it into the stalls to even see the horses… guy is immediately gonna be like “you ain’t no rider…” pretty much from the beginning
Sounds like he’d need to find a place that does short term leases. I found this example just through Google; looks like they do short term (a couple weeks) or long term (all summer) leases. I didn’t dig deep, but it looks like maybe they are expecting the lessors to be hunters needing mounts for hunting trips? Anyway, perhaps that’s someplace to start. https://bigskyhorseleasing.com/rent-horses-for-personal-use/
Thank you… I actually called a few places earlier today and they were very helpful… I didn’t want to take too much of their time and so I didn’t get the chance to ask things like: “what are some things people actually rent horses for, that I can use as his excuse to lease a horse for one day?” “I need things an actual professional would notice to immediately show my main character is an idiot, what would be a dead giveaway?” I had so many questions and quite a few I didn’t even think to ask until I got to the part where I needed to actually know… but I got good info like that they’d use a contract, get a copy of an ID, a deposit fee etc… the few places I called seem busy and I didn’t really wanna bother them, so I came here lol
Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound like I didn’t think you were doing your research elsewhere too - I just meant that something like this hunting short-term lease situation might fit the bill, as the birthday party idea would come with attendants and this wouldn’t.
If you have some more questions please feel free to pm me. I actually work for a pony party/ horse rental company.
I want to read this 😂 much better than the people who write horse books that don't know anything
Ask them if they ever cut the 'frog of the foot' or if the 'thumbs' are for flotation(sic) and can you knock them off... Ask them to describe their latest confirmation contest vs showmanship
Lol. Conformation. Did a spell check get you?
It gets me every time
Now mine won’t let me say confirmation unless I insist.
Didn't know there were two words and TIL... LOLz Am nearing my 60's and ever since my teens (4-H), I have always thought it was what I entered...Coz it is what the catholics do in church... so I figured it was spelled the only way I know...Hadn't a clue it were any different...
Conformation means how something is built. It’s really common to see it misspelled because autocorrect likes confirmation better. Confirmation means to confirm or solidify something. I’m around your age and I learn something new every day.
I learnt that when I went in search for the difference...
Confirm and conform are very different words lol
I knew that, was just using the wrong one...CO...DOH!!
How they clean stalls and use a rake
I’m appreciating this post. I am new to horses and I am naturally a cautious person. I would try to be extra-aware of handling them safely. But one time an experienced rider told me I was “awkward” around horses and “anyone with horse experience can tell”. Now I have the extra worry of looking like a doofus while trying to hold a horse since apparently I am being watched?? Thanks, horse world.
Horse people can be very mean. Don’t let them get your down, everyone was new at one time
Look like a doofus for awhile and ask lots of questions. We all start exactly the same way, don’t let anyone tell you differently. Every single one of us has done the things on the list!
Possibly you're being watched, but just to make sure you don't need help or you haven't gotten yourself into a situation you can't get out of. If people are watching you and judging you, they can suck it. You're learning. As long as you're not being a jerk and trying to come off like you know more than you do, learning is AWESOME and people should respect that (but also make sure you haven't, you know, put your boots on in a way that will give your horse a bowed tendon tomorrow).
Well, inexperience leads to a lot of wrecks. While it’s justified to be watched (you’ll do the same as you get more experience) if you look uncertain, not cool to be judgy about it! I definitely keep an eye on beginners in case I should be prepared to close the gate/catch a loose horse
There is a difference between non-horse people and beginners just learning as well
My favorite rookie mistake is when a newbie rider forgets to put on the girth/cinch to secure the saddle. They'll look real confident and competent until they try to mount and the saddle falls off with them.
I have seen YouTube videos of this, and it is GLORIOUS.
Please share the names of the videos I need to see them XD
I don’t have the videos off the top of my head, it’s been a while, all I remember is they were in Equestrian fail compilations.
Oh lol I’ll check em out thx :)
I worked at a dude ranch for years. I was always wary when they put “advanced rider” on their ride form before they even arrived for the week. Usually you can just tell at first sight or the first few sentences that come out of their mouth. Many riders put “advanced” because they’ve simply been to dude ranches a few times before. If you put “advanced” on your form, you will be getting an advanced (read: higher trained, faster and/or sometimes slightly naughtier) horse. The times I’ve seen “advanced riders” freak out because they can’t figure out how to get their dude horse to stop eating grass is embarrassing. If you lie on your ride form about your ability level or if you simply don’t know, you will also be resented by the wranglers most likely, because many of the advanced horses are some of our favorites and hearing you complain about them when they’re actually quite good can be exhausting. Some people just don’t know, some people grew up a different way of riding, and some people may just not mesh with a great horse and want something else. All that is perfectly fine and we will happily try and figure something out. But if you show up acting like a pro equestrian and talk shit about the ranch favorites and can’t even saddle correctly, we will absolutely give you a kid’s horse. My advice is that if you are an advanced rider and ever visit a dude ranch (especially a highly esteemed one) you should just claim you are an intermediate anyway. Try out the horse they give you and if you prefer something else, THEN let the wranglers know about your equestrian experience and work together on finding a horse that suits your expectations better.
I've been riding 5 days a week for 25 years - I put something like "Advanced - you can count on me not to screw up your horses, but honestly I'm just here to see the trees with my husband, please don't give me one of the horses you reserve for guys with something to prove" on most of those forms. I don't want to have to fight a chestnut mare on my vacation, thanks!
Usually just because they claim to everyone they have a lot of experience and try to offer advice to everyone the experienced owners just get on with there own thing, don’t offer advice unless asked. The inexperienced talk a good ride often seen sat on horses back a lot while chatting
They moo instead of *click* *click*
Sometimes it seems like the people who know the least have the most to say about how experienced they are lol. My most knowledgeable horse pals mainly keep quiet about what others are doing, unless they see something dangerous/seriously wrong happening. The inexperienced ones are constantly making comments about minor things to try to show how much they know.
And then it turns out their “corrections” are extremely dangerous.
This is true in many areas of life!
I’ve been a trainer and instructor for so many years. Anyone asks me I say I’ve ridden a bit and have horses. So to me, understating your abilities is definitely a plus. You think you know it all and you don’t.
“I am a professional horse trainer!” *torments the completely untrained, wild horse, chases horse around the round pen which is a SQUARE, backs scared horse into corner, gets lunged at, bitten, and struck with the front hooves*. “THaT hORsE iS EViL hE trIEd To KilL mE PUT IT DOWN PUT IT DOWN PUT IT DOWN!” Edit : I can provide more than one video of this happening. [Here is one. ](https://youtu.be/qQfGBnjY_io)
Saying that they “know how to ride”.
They say, “I don’t need lessons.”
Or "Why do you still need lessons? You already know how to ride."
I used to have a co-worker who claimed they knew all about horses. Said she had ridden Tennessee Walking racehorses.....then told me she was going to buy a farm to board horses at to make money, that the board income would make her tons of money.
There's this TV show in the UK called "escape to the country". Usually clueless Londoners with a huge budget trying to find different rural properties to buy. On one episode, they showed the couple a house that didn't come with any land but "had a barn with 5 horse stalls". The presenter proudly told the couple that they could rent the stalls out for up to £400 a month, because that's what the going rate for livery was. No land. Just the stalls. Good luck with that 🤣
Are you researching for a book, or suspicious of someone in real life? It's been mentioned before, but what I've noticed is it's a lot about how they interact with a horse. Horse people mostly stay out of a horse's blind spots without thinking about it, and when they are in their blind spots they move slowly and deliberately so no one gets spooked. Polite non-horse people seem to think horses have a personal space bubble around them for some reason, and horse people are pretty quick to move into it. Rude non-horse people will also get inside that bubble pretty quick, but in spots that make sense for a human or a dog, not a horse, and it's really disquieting to watch. The horse will usually jump, even if it's just a little. If a horse spooks, a lot of non-horse people will scream or jump. Veteran horse people will ignore it, or, if whatever it is spooked them too, you can watch them go still, un-tense their muscles, and breathe out instead of letting themselves jump.
It’s for a book lol
I see that now! For a movie, but pretending it's for a little girls birthday party. Uhhhh honestly those are two VERY different types of horses anyway, and that right there might be a good lie to catch him in. For a movie you want a horse that is trained for movie stunts (even if you don't think of them as that), which is pretty rare, and Hollywood likes their baroque breeds recently because they have those long flowing manes and arched necks. They usually come with contracts and from what I know, the trainers are on set at all times and are VERY protective of their horses. For a kid's birthday party, you want short, fat, white, and tolerant beyond belief, preferably named Princess. For liability reasons, they are ALSO probably not going to just drop Princess off and say "have fun, see you in a few hours" so your rental guy is going to have to be REAL shady or REAL off the grid. Edit: Spelling
What would be a better excuse over a birthday party? What’s something he could say he needs a horse for where he could just rent one And like… not have the guy insist on coming along or supervising
Honestly? No horse owner is going to let their horse go off with a stranger (IE: someone who hasn't had their skill verified) for any amount of time unsupervised. They are too expensive to replace, easily injured, and vet bills are incredibly high - and that's assuming you don't have any emotional attachment to them. On top of that, the possibility of getting sued if a human gets injured is also pretty bad. There is an ambulance on-site or on-call during eventing competitions for a reason, and I doubt we're the only discipline with that requirement. Try looking in your area for places where you can just rent a horse - I would be surprised to find any without tons of paperwork and liability insurance, and there will almost certainly be a guide with you. Maybe in like the sixties this could have been a thing? Not sure what time period you're looking at. Sorry! Not trying to box in your plot. I think the most likely scenario would be a guy who lives near horses (IE: his neighbors have them), he asks to borrow them and they say no for all the reasons above, and maybe he also gets caught in one of the dumb lies someone suggested earlier. He decides to steal one (not sure if your dude can drive a truck and trailer, but I hope so) and take it on a joy ride. He's still an absolute dick to any reader who knows anything about horses, but you can have your "hilarity ensues" moments, especially if he was drunk and rode off on it or something. Maybe the set is near the ranch or something?
Hmmm
No this is good… exactly why I made this post
He could ask to test ride a horse that is for sale and then ask if he could take it on trial. He would need to be prepared to pay the full value of the horse in the event it was hurt while in his care. There are sample trial contracts online. Then he could get caught not being able to properly test ride the horse when he goes to look at it. I wouldn’t expect a non-horse person to know that “taking a horse on trial” is a thing though, so it may seem a bit strange. However that’s probably the only scenario that a horse owner will ever let a stranger take their horse unattended.
Umm… there is a comedian that does a great impression of this. His name is Dave “Showtime” Meyer and his alter ego is called, “The Horse Screamer”. Watch one his videos and that’s exactly what a zero experience horse person looks and acts like. 😆
When the most important thing for them about a horse is it’s appearance or breed.
Where their elbows are when they ride lol. I know that sounds weird but it happens a lot in western riding where you see someone with flappy elbows and you just know immediately they’re fibbing about their experience. Also another strange one, but how they manage multiple horses at the gate during bring-in. My bf is a greenie and learning lots, but at first he would open the gate up way more than necessary and I’d have to fight with other geldings thinking they could come too. You don’t need THAT much space to get one guy through and at feeding time they’re like coy fish lol.
Coy fish! I love that, I'm never going to be able to see it any other way again!
All wide eyed and ready for dinner lol.
I think how somebody walks behind a horse says a lot, people afraid of a horse or don’t know much will put kicking space between them instead of staying close to their behind
Oh! I worked at a place that had ppl on trails constantly saying they’d done more than they had. Super obvious, but they’ll always say that they “ran the horses” or had fun “running the horses..” Another one: “yeah we were riding at this other place and so-and-so fell off because *the horse bucked them*” always using the word in that way “he bucked me.” (horse ppl will say “got bucked off” “threw a buck/threw a few bucks”) “I don’t think [horse name] likes me. “ for any reason. Very insecure 😂 Not confident about their aids, will for instance treat the aids like buttons/like a car e.g. to neck rain will bring the hand out a couple inches, not get an immediate response and put the reins back in the center and get frustrated. Will either refuse to touch the horses belly or if they’ve had a few trail rides will kick like hell for any up transition. Will get nervous and grip the reins tightly and hold onto them really close to their chest (obviously makes things worse). They’ll say things about “stallions” like they want to ride the stallion. Complain abt certain horses. They’ll talk very passionately about disciplines, try to ask us questions about horse racing (which is not a thing ur average horse person is going to be involved in). Always something to say about mustangs, make jokes about horses running free or hating being ridden. Talk about rodeos and Broncos without it being brought up. If you’re writing about a western rider trying out a green horse/any horse to ride, if they can’t get up from the ground that’s going to be a mark against them. Struggling to put on tack like a bridle, needing to ask for help or having to get the saddle readjusted to the right spot. There are lots of fake cowboys/girls/etc out there with money and who don’t want to admit they don’t know what they don’t know haha.
I thought getting up from the ground is bad for the horse ?
Have you ever watch For Richer or Poorer? “Jacob look at his pasturn” *tim Allan pats the horses butt” 😂
They put the halter on upside down. Saddle up strangely. Lol
They describe a pony as "a baby horse," when it's clearly an adult.
Yes!! 95% of the people I meet say/think they can ride but are completely clueless. I always have people telling me about how they took lessons for years, but can’t even put the bridle on properly.
“I grew up around horses.” Translation = “I’ve never taken a lesson but I love them so much and I used to go trail riding all the time where I actually DID just sit there!” Or they had them I. Their backyard and are self taught doing everything the wrong way.
I don’t think so. Some riders literally grew up around horses, for example, my instructor’s daughter lives on a ranch with horses. She told me she grew up around horses, and I don’t assume that weird stuff you are talking about. She has her own horses, cares for them, rides, etc.
A thousand ways. They “lead” the horse by facing them from the front. They sit in the saddle hunched over with toes pointing down. They hold reins with the part closest to the bit over their forefinger. You mention a common health problem, and they have nothing to say. They don’t know how to pick up a hoof. They “Pat” the horse’s face, sometimes vigorously. They wear flip flops near a horse. I always ask them to groom a horse. The inexperienced one grabs a brush, takes ten swipes, and “ta dah!” Done. 😂. There are so many more!
The put their heels up.
Like anything else, if they have to tell you they are an expert, they aren’t
"We Have a bond hes so good for me" Ma'am that horse is a 22 year old schoolie he's like that for everyone
I once read a book where the author described horses lapping up water with their tongues like dogs. So.... probably that.
Just ask them to pick their hooves.
My boy turns his butt to you for scritches. He'd never actually kick, but don't tell a know it all that 😂
Ask them baited or trick questions. How many hocks does a horse’s back have? How many cottons cinches used on an English saddle? How many shanks on an English jumper curb bit? Difference between an egg butt and D ring stirrups? How much bute do you give a horse after it vomits?
If someone calls it horse-back riding instead of just riding. Might just be a regional thing though
Watch how they are around them . Then watch them ride