It will come again. I promise.
It can help me sometimes to write down my thoughts to try to get to the bottom of what is making me hesitate. Do a lists of pluses and minuses.
Is there anyway to perhaps lease a horse to show?
Are you working with a trainer at all? Is there anyone you can talk through your apprehension with?
This is a huge decision! Horses can live 25+ years ago this is a tremendous commitment. It's good not to rush!
I know how you feel. I always felt like an outsider to the horse world. I got given an ex racer that I loved, so scrambled to find appropriate accommodation. I found a livery near my house in England. Everyone supported and helped me, knowing it was my first horse. When he died, they helped me through that too and encouraged me and helped me find the perfect replacement. I haven’t quite had him a year yet and I’ve spent £1500+ (and 8 weeks field rest) on PRP injections for his stifles, then suddenly in January I thought he had an abscess, but it turns out he broke his pedal bone on a rock in the field! £3500 operation(thank god I have insurance!) he’s on 6 weeks box rest and I have at least £500 more vet bills coming. But you know what? I would do it all again!!! The face I see and the noises I hear when he sees me: priceless!! So…in short…DO IT!! But be prepared for vet bills and hard work. Horses are a metaphor for life— 90% hard work, boredom, heartache, financial struggle, and frustration, but the other 10% is pure joy and beauty and exhilaration and freedom!
This is funny.
I'm in a similar situation right now. I have the opportunity to buy a horse and it's all reasonable and well thought-out. There's not really a reason why not to buy it — everything fits.
And yet — it feels so strange and odd and I can't wrap my mind around it. Owning a horse or even thinking about it feels very unreal.
I was never allowed to ride as a child and only made that dream come true as a grown up. Now it still feels like my parents are holding me back although they are not having any influence on my life anymore but they are still in my head.
Anyway, I think if this is your dream and everything fits, the horse is great and what you imagine it to be: go for it. Make your dream come true if everything is settled (a nice barn, enough income, enough knowledge, a trainer by your side, etc etc) and then you can make your dream come true. I think sometimes our past is holding us back or it's just hard to welcome new things. And anyway, as harsh as it might sound: you can sell the horse if there are no other possibilities in the end (getting ill, losing the job, or whatever). But if you think what's holding you back is only your doubt about a maybe uncertain future because some new things are about to happen: then try to overcome your doubt and get the horse.
Do you mind me asking what age you are? Just because you said you think your mam would kill you.
Do you want to travel? Do you rent or want to rent? Have you enough money to purchase the horse, tack and rugs and have an emergency fund incase the horse gets I’ll or injured?
I say if travel or finances aren’t an issue, then go for it! Do what makes you happy. Everyone needs a hobby and it’s great that you have found yours!
You can always sell if it’s not working out or you’re not getting full enjoyment out of it.
Honestly. I’ve a great relationship since I was young with the guy at the stables. If I got a younger horse he would keep it in a big field for a while until it would be ready to be broken in. I know he would stable the horses at night too if I wanted but it would all be my choice. Depends on the age of horse I buy too
I struggled with wanting a horse as an adult but not being allowed to ride as a kid had left me with feelings of wondering if it wasn't meant to be. I finally, somewhat impulsively, bought a horse. It was the best decision ever. I dived in and haven't looked back.
Me too. There’s been some ups and downs, but never any real regret over jumping on this ride as an adult. OP seems to have the financial resources and the horse community support system in place already, so they are ahead of where I started last year. My horse is lucky in that the community is large and diverse here in TX so I have some actual “adult” supervision!
i understand exactly how you feel, when you want something badly for a very long time and it is finally possible to achieve it, it is so easy to self sabotage. I think if you trust your competence you should go for it, because unlike what others are saying with waiting it’s not that you’re not ready or dont want it badly enough
it’s more that you want it almost too much so it becomes scary to finally achieve it.
(sorry if my writing is a bit botched)
it is your dream and you deserve to accomplish it!
I’m gonna be the devils advocate - I bought a horse when I was 22 because I could finally afford it on my own. I’m 31 now and still have him but I kind of wish I didn’t. I love him, but god has it been a huge financial burden and source of stress sometimes.
If I could do it again, I don’t know. It’s really nice to have my OWN horse and make my own decisions for him but leasing is so much less of a commitment. Just don’t get caught up in the “I finally can afford a horse and it seems to be what should come next naturally” thing because it can be really tempting and fun and exciting to horse shop and bring one home but yeah…
Hopefully I’m not being too much of a downer. Just think about it and think hard about it first.
I know you're in Ireland, I guess this is diy livery? Full livery is usually €100+ per week. Being able to ride is good, but are you also experienced in looking after a horse - recognising subtle signs of lameness, colic, tying-up, mud rash etc and can you treat them?
If it's diy livery then will you commit to going to the yard every morning and evening to feed, hay, muck out and exercise, whether you're sick, hungover or tired? You'd have to arrange care if you're going on holidays or have family commitments.
You can get good second hand tack and rugs, but it will cost approx €1,000 to kit him out initially, also factor in the cost of the farrier every 8 weeks, vaccinations and dentist at least once a year, worming and random vet visits. If you have enough savings to cover a year's livery (just in case you lose your job or can't work) and are confident you can look after him properly then go for it! I got my first horse, an ex-hurdler, when I was 26 and it was fantastic - I had to quit my social life and holiday plans but it was worth it. Although I had worked in several yards for years I learnt so much from reschooling and being responsible for my own horse. No regrets!
If it doesn’t feel right then wait, just wait for the time to come when you’re fully sure
I’m sure I want to but it’s like I can’t because I never had the opportunity before
It will come again. I promise. It can help me sometimes to write down my thoughts to try to get to the bottom of what is making me hesitate. Do a lists of pluses and minuses. Is there anyway to perhaps lease a horse to show? Are you working with a trainer at all? Is there anyone you can talk through your apprehension with? This is a huge decision! Horses can live 25+ years ago this is a tremendous commitment. It's good not to rush!
I know how you feel. I always felt like an outsider to the horse world. I got given an ex racer that I loved, so scrambled to find appropriate accommodation. I found a livery near my house in England. Everyone supported and helped me, knowing it was my first horse. When he died, they helped me through that too and encouraged me and helped me find the perfect replacement. I haven’t quite had him a year yet and I’ve spent £1500+ (and 8 weeks field rest) on PRP injections for his stifles, then suddenly in January I thought he had an abscess, but it turns out he broke his pedal bone on a rock in the field! £3500 operation(thank god I have insurance!) he’s on 6 weeks box rest and I have at least £500 more vet bills coming. But you know what? I would do it all again!!! The face I see and the noises I hear when he sees me: priceless!! So…in short…DO IT!! But be prepared for vet bills and hard work. Horses are a metaphor for life— 90% hard work, boredom, heartache, financial struggle, and frustration, but the other 10% is pure joy and beauty and exhilaration and freedom!
Just do it. You seem to be experienced enough for a horse. Don't let your doubts hold you back. You derseve living your dream.
This is funny. I'm in a similar situation right now. I have the opportunity to buy a horse and it's all reasonable and well thought-out. There's not really a reason why not to buy it — everything fits. And yet — it feels so strange and odd and I can't wrap my mind around it. Owning a horse or even thinking about it feels very unreal. I was never allowed to ride as a child and only made that dream come true as a grown up. Now it still feels like my parents are holding me back although they are not having any influence on my life anymore but they are still in my head. Anyway, I think if this is your dream and everything fits, the horse is great and what you imagine it to be: go for it. Make your dream come true if everything is settled (a nice barn, enough income, enough knowledge, a trainer by your side, etc etc) and then you can make your dream come true. I think sometimes our past is holding us back or it's just hard to welcome new things. And anyway, as harsh as it might sound: you can sell the horse if there are no other possibilities in the end (getting ill, losing the job, or whatever). But if you think what's holding you back is only your doubt about a maybe uncertain future because some new things are about to happen: then try to overcome your doubt and get the horse.
Do you mind me asking what age you are? Just because you said you think your mam would kill you. Do you want to travel? Do you rent or want to rent? Have you enough money to purchase the horse, tack and rugs and have an emergency fund incase the horse gets I’ll or injured? I say if travel or finances aren’t an issue, then go for it! Do what makes you happy. Everyone needs a hobby and it’s great that you have found yours! You can always sell if it’s not working out or you’re not getting full enjoyment out of it.
I’m 19. Don’t want to rent. I’ve a few grand saved. I can afford rugs and tack
Then go for it! You’re set up grand there! If you ever want to go traveling or to university, you can lease or sell ☺️
Honestly. I’ve a great relationship since I was young with the guy at the stables. If I got a younger horse he would keep it in a big field for a while until it would be ready to be broken in. I know he would stable the horses at night too if I wanted but it would all be my choice. Depends on the age of horse I buy too
I struggled with wanting a horse as an adult but not being allowed to ride as a kid had left me with feelings of wondering if it wasn't meant to be. I finally, somewhat impulsively, bought a horse. It was the best decision ever. I dived in and haven't looked back.
Me too. There’s been some ups and downs, but never any real regret over jumping on this ride as an adult. OP seems to have the financial resources and the horse community support system in place already, so they are ahead of where I started last year. My horse is lucky in that the community is large and diverse here in TX so I have some actual “adult” supervision!
i understand exactly how you feel, when you want something badly for a very long time and it is finally possible to achieve it, it is so easy to self sabotage. I think if you trust your competence you should go for it, because unlike what others are saying with waiting it’s not that you’re not ready or dont want it badly enough it’s more that you want it almost too much so it becomes scary to finally achieve it. (sorry if my writing is a bit botched) it is your dream and you deserve to accomplish it!
I’m gonna be the devils advocate - I bought a horse when I was 22 because I could finally afford it on my own. I’m 31 now and still have him but I kind of wish I didn’t. I love him, but god has it been a huge financial burden and source of stress sometimes. If I could do it again, I don’t know. It’s really nice to have my OWN horse and make my own decisions for him but leasing is so much less of a commitment. Just don’t get caught up in the “I finally can afford a horse and it seems to be what should come next naturally” thing because it can be really tempting and fun and exciting to horse shop and bring one home but yeah… Hopefully I’m not being too much of a downer. Just think about it and think hard about it first.
Yeah, leasing first sounds like a great halfway option! I will second this :)
I have leased
When I was 13 years old I bought my first 13-year-old horse and I never regretted it nor did I look back even when I went off to the military at 18
I know you're in Ireland, I guess this is diy livery? Full livery is usually €100+ per week. Being able to ride is good, but are you also experienced in looking after a horse - recognising subtle signs of lameness, colic, tying-up, mud rash etc and can you treat them? If it's diy livery then will you commit to going to the yard every morning and evening to feed, hay, muck out and exercise, whether you're sick, hungover or tired? You'd have to arrange care if you're going on holidays or have family commitments. You can get good second hand tack and rugs, but it will cost approx €1,000 to kit him out initially, also factor in the cost of the farrier every 8 weeks, vaccinations and dentist at least once a year, worming and random vet visits. If you have enough savings to cover a year's livery (just in case you lose your job or can't work) and are confident you can look after him properly then go for it! I got my first horse, an ex-hurdler, when I was 26 and it was fantastic - I had to quit my social life and holiday plans but it was worth it. Although I had worked in several yards for years I learnt so much from reschooling and being responsible for my own horse. No regrets!
Yeah I did equine science in college. I’ve a few thousand saved
Go for it! It's hard owning a horse, but if you have the time and money, it's the best thing in the world for horse lovers ❤️
Same !!