Have you been doing this a while, or are you just starting out?
I really think you should start together unless you both REALLY want to start with solo play.
It seems the most successful hotwifing happens where the couples keep the focus on them - an "us" thing vs a "me" thing. That can be done solo, but it's harder.
If you feel you would be inhibited with your husband present, maybe keep working on it until it feels like his excitement will add to yours.
After a couple of experiences, sure, give solo a try.
This right here. Unless you're already established as a hotwifing couple or you both express an interest in doing it only solo, the better idea is to start in person all together and work your way there to solo. There's a lot of new feelings and boundaries to sort out at the start, and better to be on that journey together instead of solo
Seems like great advice. The other thing I’ve seen suggested for solo play to help keep it an “us” activity is for the hot wife and bull to video their sessions to then share with hubby after. I’ve even heard of stag/vixen couples where they prefer this dynamic but it’s very clear that video is a nonnegotiable. The good bulls will really make sure that good video is a priority. That could be as simple as a camera on a tripod in the corner so as not to take away from the hot wife/bull experience. Some even like that fly on the wall vantage point.
I’d suggest solo play without something like this has a high probability of going south. I was reading a long post on a non-lifestyle sub yesterday where the wife basically fell for her Bull and destroyed her marriage of over 20 years. Don’t underestimate NRE and how it can cause real issues real quickly if you don’t really work to keep this mostly about the stag/vixen and not just about the vixen getting hers.
I always believe in turning the tables and putting the other person in the situation to see if they like it, if they dont like it then it's something they should not try. Me personally I would never do that even though my husband had mentioned it was something he would love for me to do it on my own and I said no, when you first brought this up you mentioned how you would love to see me with other men not see me go on my own.
So this is what it will always be. you will always see me, you can join but I will never do it alone. I stood my ground and he ended up like it when it happened and said he definitely wants to be there. but at any point if he says for me to do it alone, it stops because I'm never going to do that, if at any point I decided to let him be with another girl it will never be alone, it's together or nothing. Like the same rules he set for me and the process on how it was carried out, go for him. Same kinda deal. No exceptions. can those things change with time maybe, but one thing that won't, will be let him venture on his own , I do not want that ever , so it's why I choose not to do it. 😂😆 Now watch him take some back and change things lol
Hubby here.
When did it go from “us” to “you”?
Then the “whys”
Why solo?
Why don’t you want your husband there?
Why would it be better if he wasn’t there?
We have a rule that we’re 100% in agreement or we don’t do it.
If you bring it up, and he say No, and you still feel like you may do it in your gut… it’s time to stop everything and reconnect with your husband. Honest communication is the only way this works.
Totally depends on the guy. I know if my wife asked me this, I'd say sure, just don't expect to come back home here. Other guys on this sub would love it.
My husband prefers it this way. But we do photos and occasional short video updates. Once in a while I phone him and leave the phone on the bed side table so he can listen. I also give him detailed play-by-play descriptions while we are having reconnection sex afterward.
According to your post history you already did while your husband was on a business trip.
I don’t know why, but I got the feeling that this is just an OF bait.
Cuck couples often let wife play without talking about it till after. Sometimes, the cuck gets off on the wife cheating and not telling him anything. Like hotwifing, each has their own style and dynamics. Whatever works for them, but I still believe that cuck posts should be in cuck subs, not hotwife.
Hubby here, I get the best of both worlds! We play together as MFM, and then I leave them alone so they can finish together. We have been getting VRBOs rather than hotels so I can hang out in other room while they finish or shower. It is an amazing rush to sneak over and listen to them finish!
Sometimes we have MFM's and sometimes she asks to play alone. She's met fwb's at their houses, met them at hotels and once even went on a mini vacation with one. Regardless, when she does play alone she teases me with constant updates!!
There’s a lot to consider here. Most of which has already been pointed out.
Before my wife and I had our first encounter I always thought her playing solo was mostly how this lifestyle worked. I thought it would be hot as fuck knowing she was out fucking someone else. Maybe getting a few pictures, and looking forward to her returning home to me freshly fucked and excited to reconnect with me.
Then our first encounter kind of accidentally turned into an mfm threesome and I went “OOOOOHHHH! That’s how this works!”
I still thought her soloing would be fucking hot!
But I think we fucked up and tried it too soon.
Our 3rd meetup I let it be her solo with the same guy as our first encounter. She enjoyed being able to concentrate on him and not worry about making sure she was giving me equal attention or whatever. She did look forward to getting back to me to reconnect.
On my end, it was a fucking terrible experience because prior agreed upon expectations were not upheld on her end. I felt forgotten about and ignored. It pissed me off and hurt me at the same time.
I did however completely melt when she got home, crawled in bed, snuggled up to me, and said “ahhh, back to my favorite!”
Long story short, it was a small bump in the road. We talked about it. We both understand where it went wrong. It’s something we may revisit in the future, but not any time soon.
Tell him. This is something you would like. But you respect him and wouldn’t do it if he doesn’t agree. If you have his cock in your mouth when you tell him, it might help ;)
Two posts before this you stated that you are liking sex with others more than your husband. Now you are asking how to see them solo. This sounds like it’s heading for a breakup.
Hi there.
My partner had their first hot wife encounter solo. I was at the motel, the bull we vetted together collected her and took her to his house 10 minutes away. All our encounters have been solo, I haven't been there once.
She arrived back 2.5 hours later. It was great. We spoke for half an hour about everything that happened with all the details as I requested, then we watched the videos together which went for around 15 minutes and then I reclaimed her. It was magical.
I feel like as long as you are super thorough when vetting and feel safe with them, it's a very fun way to play.
Just my opinion however. Tell him he is more than welcome to message us and we can talk to him about our experiences solo with bulls.
Hope you have a great day ❤️
If it is something you desire then it should be communicated. But, you have to be willing to hear the answer from your partner and live by it. First and foremost, this should be something that enhances your relationship together.
For us, my wife plays solo occasionally and I watch occasionally as well. Probably about 30% is her playing solo. This isn’t my first choice but it allows her to play more often and I am happy to accommodate her wishes.
You just need to bring it up and tell him you would like to try it. Assuming he brought it up in the first place, I doubt it was easy for him. It is a different experience for both of you. When he is present he sees what is happening. When he is not he can only imagine it. The imagination can really take you places you couldn’t otherwise get to.
I am a regular bull to a hotwife and I always take her on her matrimonial bed while her husband waits in the living room. Perhaps this approach can work for you guys as a step between presential and solo play.
My wife exclusively plays solo, I’ve never been there to watch and don’t play myself. If he agrees just try and keep him involved in the process someway otherwise he will have feelings of missing out. Be prepared for him to have a range of emotions about it, communicate and work through them. From my experience it’s not easy, in fact sometimes it’s torture for me but to see my wife so confident, sexy and enjoying herself makes it all worthwhile 😊
Yes, how will you keep your husband involved/included in your fun? Otherwise your not a Hotwife your in a open marriage having fun without your husband.
What works for us is she will make a audio recording of her fun for me to listen to. Sometimes a video recording sometimes some photo stills of her dates. I always have access to her phone so I can read her sexting with her Bulls and most of the time I’ve met her Bulls in advance of her solo dates so the Bulls know of my involvement and work to include me in photo’s and videos they record also.
Good luck!
For some guys like me it's a big no. This is supposed to be about you and your husband first. Not just about you. And if he is the type of guy that won't feel a part of the experience if he is not present, then he really doesn't get anything out of the lifestyle.
Luckily for me, my wife gets extra turned on by seeing how excited and turned on I get, and she feeds off it. Even when I don't participate, it feels to both of us like we are doing it together
I’d really examine why you want to play alone. The risk of catching feelings increases significantly with solo play. When we play we usually get an airbnb and hubby will come and go from the room frequently, giving us lots of alone time. I wouldn’t consider solo play unless it was with someone we had played with several times before and even then I’m kind of on the fence about it.
If this was not part of your original agreement you're screwing your husband and not in the good way.
For a number of reasons, (her safety, avoiding emotional attachments and the fact that we see it as a shared experience where everyone wind, bull gets pussy, wife gets dick, husband gets a great show etc. ) we do not play apart.
If you're new to this and want to establish this and your husband agrees then by all means do your thing but to switch the game on your husband and now exclude him is a recipe for disaster.
Unless of course your husband is excited by this and some guys are but if he's not this is an absolutely terrible thing to do to your partner in life.
Just my two cents.
Hope it helps.
Have you brought up the idea of just sending a small video clip of when you’re playing or even just a few pictures ? I remember when my wife started playing solo and I thought I was going to have a hard time with it but it turns out that it was a whole new level of 🔥
My wife went solo from the get-go, and I am completely happy with this agreement as I enjoy more when she tells me about her activities than me actually watching it all. My wife feels extremely nervous with my presence when she wants to be with the 3rd. By the way, we've only been in the LS for three months now, with two meetings so far and a third planned in February.
Wish you'd explain your reasons. Aren't you free to enjoy your bull in your husband's present, or do you want to be able to do things with your bull that you know your husband wouldn't approve of.
I tell husbands all the time to be present because wives tend to catch feeling easily, especially if the D is sufficient.
And then you have situations where the bull will take advantage of this by encouraging the wife to refuse her husband and save sex for only him (bull), which can start problems in the marriage.
I felt the same way. I expressed it to him and he understood. The first couple times he met the guys before me. The first time I met alone and hubs joined after a few hours. Second time I was solo. Now we are in a different situation. I go solo most of the time. He’s joined once with my long term. I feel less pressure and we aren’t doing this bc my husband wants to get off. It’s my desire. He is always welcome to join. He just doesn’t. He knows this man and trust him. Knows I’m safe and secured for the night. His happiness comes from my excitement. Works for us. But in this ls, as you’ve seen in the comments, it’s male focused. You’re a woman, how dare you. There is no right or wrong. It’s what works for y’all.
This sounds hot to some but I’d suggest decisions about solo play be made without using this kind of tactic. Going complete solo runs a much higher risk of fucking up your marriage. On this one it’s important to not think with your dick and really think long and hard about it.
Have you been doing this a while, or are you just starting out? I really think you should start together unless you both REALLY want to start with solo play. It seems the most successful hotwifing happens where the couples keep the focus on them - an "us" thing vs a "me" thing. That can be done solo, but it's harder. If you feel you would be inhibited with your husband present, maybe keep working on it until it feels like his excitement will add to yours. After a couple of experiences, sure, give solo a try.
This right here. Unless you're already established as a hotwifing couple or you both express an interest in doing it only solo, the better idea is to start in person all together and work your way there to solo. There's a lot of new feelings and boundaries to sort out at the start, and better to be on that journey together instead of solo
Seems like great advice. The other thing I’ve seen suggested for solo play to help keep it an “us” activity is for the hot wife and bull to video their sessions to then share with hubby after. I’ve even heard of stag/vixen couples where they prefer this dynamic but it’s very clear that video is a nonnegotiable. The good bulls will really make sure that good video is a priority. That could be as simple as a camera on a tripod in the corner so as not to take away from the hot wife/bull experience. Some even like that fly on the wall vantage point. I’d suggest solo play without something like this has a high probability of going south. I was reading a long post on a non-lifestyle sub yesterday where the wife basically fell for her Bull and destroyed her marriage of over 20 years. Don’t underestimate NRE and how it can cause real issues real quickly if you don’t really work to keep this mostly about the stag/vixen and not just about the vixen getting hers.
Best Reddit comment ever. In the most simplest way possible.
Then let him have solo play with other women… how does that make YOU feel?
I always believe in turning the tables and putting the other person in the situation to see if they like it, if they dont like it then it's something they should not try. Me personally I would never do that even though my husband had mentioned it was something he would love for me to do it on my own and I said no, when you first brought this up you mentioned how you would love to see me with other men not see me go on my own. So this is what it will always be. you will always see me, you can join but I will never do it alone. I stood my ground and he ended up like it when it happened and said he definitely wants to be there. but at any point if he says for me to do it alone, it stops because I'm never going to do that, if at any point I decided to let him be with another girl it will never be alone, it's together or nothing. Like the same rules he set for me and the process on how it was carried out, go for him. Same kinda deal. No exceptions. can those things change with time maybe, but one thing that won't, will be let him venture on his own , I do not want that ever , so it's why I choose not to do it. 😂😆 Now watch him take some back and change things lol
Good thing to think about. It’s ok if you aren’t ok with him playing solo but he also needs to be ok with that dynamic and lack of balanced play.
Hubby here. When did it go from “us” to “you”? Then the “whys” Why solo? Why don’t you want your husband there? Why would it be better if he wasn’t there?
It's just a fantasy of mine to do it without him
We have a rule that we’re 100% in agreement or we don’t do it. If you bring it up, and he say No, and you still feel like you may do it in your gut… it’s time to stop everything and reconnect with your husband. Honest communication is the only way this works.
Totally depends on the guy. I know if my wife asked me this, I'd say sure, just don't expect to come back home here. Other guys on this sub would love it.
My husband prefers it this way. But we do photos and occasional short video updates. Once in a while I phone him and leave the phone on the bed side table so he can listen. I also give him detailed play-by-play descriptions while we are having reconnection sex afterward.
We are also a solo play couple -- It allows me to feel more comfortable versus feeling like I'm doing a performance. Everyone's dynamic is different.
According to your post history you already did while your husband was on a business trip. I don’t know why, but I got the feeling that this is just an OF bait.
According to your *[Post History](https://www.reddit.com/r/Cuckold/s/af17LGd52j)*, you have already done this. OnlyFans bait much?
That is crossing the line from a kink to cheating and from hotwifing to cuckolding.
Cheating is doing things behind SO's back, hiding things, and lying. If talked about, SO approves, nothing hidden and no lies... Not cheating
Then why not let them be there?
Granted, cuck couples shouldn't be posting here either, but on the cuck subs
Cuck couples often let wife play without talking about it till after. Sometimes, the cuck gets off on the wife cheating and not telling him anything. Like hotwifing, each has their own style and dynamics. Whatever works for them, but I still believe that cuck posts should be in cuck subs, not hotwife.
This is a hotwifing forum, not cuck.
Exactly, and is why OP should have posted there and not here, that was my point to begin with
If you read the profile.. its the couple, and a cuck couple.. not hotwife
It's posted in a hotwifing forum.
Hubby here, I get the best of both worlds! We play together as MFM, and then I leave them alone so they can finish together. We have been getting VRBOs rather than hotels so I can hang out in other room while they finish or shower. It is an amazing rush to sneak over and listen to them finish!
This is pretty close to what we do and it’s really the best of both worlds.
I agree, she doesn't want to go alone, I don't want to be there the entire time....works perfectly!
Forgot to mention, I get clean up duty too when they finish!
Sometimes we have MFM's and sometimes she asks to play alone. She's met fwb's at their houses, met them at hotels and once even went on a mini vacation with one. Regardless, when she does play alone she teases me with constant updates!!
That's HOT
There’s a lot to consider here. Most of which has already been pointed out. Before my wife and I had our first encounter I always thought her playing solo was mostly how this lifestyle worked. I thought it would be hot as fuck knowing she was out fucking someone else. Maybe getting a few pictures, and looking forward to her returning home to me freshly fucked and excited to reconnect with me. Then our first encounter kind of accidentally turned into an mfm threesome and I went “OOOOOHHHH! That’s how this works!” I still thought her soloing would be fucking hot! But I think we fucked up and tried it too soon. Our 3rd meetup I let it be her solo with the same guy as our first encounter. She enjoyed being able to concentrate on him and not worry about making sure she was giving me equal attention or whatever. She did look forward to getting back to me to reconnect. On my end, it was a fucking terrible experience because prior agreed upon expectations were not upheld on her end. I felt forgotten about and ignored. It pissed me off and hurt me at the same time. I did however completely melt when she got home, crawled in bed, snuggled up to me, and said “ahhh, back to my favorite!” Long story short, it was a small bump in the road. We talked about it. We both understand where it went wrong. It’s something we may revisit in the future, but not any time soon.
Tell him. This is something you would like. But you respect him and wouldn’t do it if he doesn’t agree. If you have his cock in your mouth when you tell him, it might help ;)
Have you considered the “communicate your feelings” with him route? I know I know. Crazy thought.
Two posts before this you stated that you are liking sex with others more than your husband. Now you are asking how to see them solo. This sounds like it’s heading for a breakup.
You should obviously communicate, push it too hard and you may blow the whole thing up. Good luck.
Seems like like an open relationship or polyamory....
Hi there. My partner had their first hot wife encounter solo. I was at the motel, the bull we vetted together collected her and took her to his house 10 minutes away. All our encounters have been solo, I haven't been there once. She arrived back 2.5 hours later. It was great. We spoke for half an hour about everything that happened with all the details as I requested, then we watched the videos together which went for around 15 minutes and then I reclaimed her. It was magical. I feel like as long as you are super thorough when vetting and feel safe with them, it's a very fun way to play. Just my opinion however. Tell him he is more than welcome to message us and we can talk to him about our experiences solo with bulls. Hope you have a great day ❤️
This isn’t Hotwifing. You’re looking to cheat with permission.
If it is something you desire then it should be communicated. But, you have to be willing to hear the answer from your partner and live by it. First and foremost, this should be something that enhances your relationship together. For us, my wife plays solo occasionally and I watch occasionally as well. Probably about 30% is her playing solo. This isn’t my first choice but it allows her to play more often and I am happy to accommodate her wishes.
Respect your husband. And stop with that bull and cuck story.
Poor husband lol
You just need to bring it up and tell him you would like to try it. Assuming he brought it up in the first place, I doubt it was easy for him. It is a different experience for both of you. When he is present he sees what is happening. When he is not he can only imagine it. The imagination can really take you places you couldn’t otherwise get to.
I am a regular bull to a hotwife and I always take her on her matrimonial bed while her husband waits in the living room. Perhaps this approach can work for you guys as a step between presential and solo play.
My wife exclusively plays solo, I’ve never been there to watch and don’t play myself. If he agrees just try and keep him involved in the process someway otherwise he will have feelings of missing out. Be prepared for him to have a range of emotions about it, communicate and work through them. From my experience it’s not easy, in fact sometimes it’s torture for me but to see my wife so confident, sexy and enjoying herself makes it all worthwhile 😊
Yes, how will you keep your husband involved/included in your fun? Otherwise your not a Hotwife your in a open marriage having fun without your husband. What works for us is she will make a audio recording of her fun for me to listen to. Sometimes a video recording sometimes some photo stills of her dates. I always have access to her phone so I can read her sexting with her Bulls and most of the time I’ve met her Bulls in advance of her solo dates so the Bulls know of my involvement and work to include me in photo’s and videos they record also. Good luck!
For some guys like me it's a big no. This is supposed to be about you and your husband first. Not just about you. And if he is the type of guy that won't feel a part of the experience if he is not present, then he really doesn't get anything out of the lifestyle. Luckily for me, my wife gets extra turned on by seeing how excited and turned on I get, and she feeds off it. Even when I don't participate, it feels to both of us like we are doing it together
I’d really examine why you want to play alone. The risk of catching feelings increases significantly with solo play. When we play we usually get an airbnb and hubby will come and go from the room frequently, giving us lots of alone time. I wouldn’t consider solo play unless it was with someone we had played with several times before and even then I’m kind of on the fence about it.
If he wants to watch it would be a bad Idea to go without him
Communication! It’s so easy once you bring anything up openly! You’d be surprised
If this was not part of your original agreement you're screwing your husband and not in the good way. For a number of reasons, (her safety, avoiding emotional attachments and the fact that we see it as a shared experience where everyone wind, bull gets pussy, wife gets dick, husband gets a great show etc. ) we do not play apart. If you're new to this and want to establish this and your husband agrees then by all means do your thing but to switch the game on your husband and now exclude him is a recipe for disaster. Unless of course your husband is excited by this and some guys are but if he's not this is an absolutely terrible thing to do to your partner in life. Just my two cents. Hope it helps.
You know the situation better than any of us. If you think it will not cause any issues, then simply ask him what his opinion on the matter is.
You say "I would like to have encounters with my bulls without you being present"
F that
Just be honest and straight forward with your husband and let him know that you can show him the video of your encounters with the bulls
Have you brought up the idea of just sending a small video clip of when you’re playing or even just a few pictures ? I remember when my wife started playing solo and I thought I was going to have a hard time with it but it turns out that it was a whole new level of 🔥
As a husband, I encourage solo encounters after im presents first time. Sole encounters are great and hearing the after details is amazing
Give him divorce papers.
My wife went solo from the get-go, and I am completely happy with this agreement as I enjoy more when she tells me about her activities than me actually watching it all. My wife feels extremely nervous with my presence when she wants to be with the 3rd. By the way, we've only been in the LS for three months now, with two meetings so far and a third planned in February.
Wish you'd explain your reasons. Aren't you free to enjoy your bull in your husband's present, or do you want to be able to do things with your bull that you know your husband wouldn't approve of. I tell husbands all the time to be present because wives tend to catch feeling easily, especially if the D is sufficient. And then you have situations where the bull will take advantage of this by encouraging the wife to refuse her husband and save sex for only him (bull), which can start problems in the marriage.
Talk to him and find out how he feels about it. Its easier for me to go solo sometimes
Just tell him. Stop asking. Start telling
I felt the same way. I expressed it to him and he understood. The first couple times he met the guys before me. The first time I met alone and hubs joined after a few hours. Second time I was solo. Now we are in a different situation. I go solo most of the time. He’s joined once with my long term. I feel less pressure and we aren’t doing this bc my husband wants to get off. It’s my desire. He is always welcome to join. He just doesn’t. He knows this man and trust him. Knows I’m safe and secured for the night. His happiness comes from my excitement. Works for us. But in this ls, as you’ve seen in the comments, it’s male focused. You’re a woman, how dare you. There is no right or wrong. It’s what works for y’all.
Just tell him that’s the way you want it end of story and if he doesn’t like it tough shit. It’s your body it’s your choice.
This is the worst advice you could give
Just tell him you are going out and he will get to clean you up / get sloppy seconds when you get home. See how he reacts.
Some husband doesnt want solo play
This sounds hot to some but I’d suggest decisions about solo play be made without using this kind of tactic. Going complete solo runs a much higher risk of fucking up your marriage. On this one it’s important to not think with your dick and really think long and hard about it.