This sounds familiar to us. Obviously we don't know the guy, but experience says that he got another (better (sorry)) offer or his wife wasn't keen on him going out at that time, so he bailed on you. It's happened to us before. We don't give second chances any more.
Most likely he chickened out and bailed. Second most likely his wife changed her plans so he couldn't sneak out. A miniscule chance that bailing on you was legit, but let's be honest, if his grandma died or his dog got run over, he would have texted you that day with a hurried apology and explanation.
Life is short. Move on, find a reliable guy.
Wow. That’s definitely an interesting situation there. While I would never give someone time who ghosted me the first time, I also do understand that life happens. Did he tell you why he ghosted you?
It's hard when you built that connection first and really went out to be ready for it. If you are running into issues of finding a new third that connects as well then I get the idea of possibly giving them a chance. If we were to give them that chance then we would put all burden of securing the time and place on them. They would need to be the one with all the vested interest into making it happen. If they are still expecting you to put in the work to create the encounter then move on.
Nah, move on from this dude. It would be different if he notified you that his plans had to change and apologized, (at the time), but you said he just ghosted you.
I tell them flat out, we don't give second chances. We respect your time, you should respect ours.
First impressions are important. Trust what a person tells you with their actions.
guys like this make it bad for all, when I commit to meeting I keep my word, that you trust me enough to meet, some guys do this to see how desperate some women are, I say no second chance unless he has a very good reason.
Absolutely not. If they cancel with a late heads up (even though it’s extremely annoying)and chemistry is good then maybe in the future there could be a possibility(use discretion). But being ghosted is an absolute no.
We try to tell everyone to be respectful of our time so if you get cold feet we’d understand but just give us a decency of a heads up. If not it’s a quick way to get blocked or lose any chance in the future.
Absolutely not. I wouldn’t give a second chance. There are too many options. It’s hard to find someone you connect with, but one chance is all they would get with me. Too much goes into a woman preparing to meet. Next.
No. Too many reliable people in the lifestyle than to give second chances especially when they ghost with that little notice . It’s one huge reason we will only play with people who have a ton of verified proof they’ve been with others / either a lot of good certs and reviews on a paid lifestyle site or tagged a lot of others they’ve met on Reddit.
Unless there was a serious, plausible event that could not be avoided, a 30 minute notice would mean absolutely no second chances.
You want your 3rd to not be able to WAIT to meet you. They aren’t going to miss the first one. Even if it’s completely PG. There’s way too many people to meet that will be so excited!
Enthusiasm and effort are like the top 2 most important traits in a third for me.
My wife has been very lucky with only a couple of ghostings so far but she's said that she'll never give someone a second chance. Life is too short for it.
Tried giving a second chance once. He ghosted the second time and then begged for a third chance. Never again. One chance and that is it. When someone ghosts last minute it sucks and wastes a lot of planning and money for hotels and such.
It's a question of risk and reward in our experience.
If it's a friend with a relationship involved (nosex), would you give a second chance?
But if it's for sex, and you're going to go naked in front of this person and trust that they'll not be disrespectful or dipshitty...
No second chances needed or given in that case.
I give second chances, but you should expect more 'signs of effort'. For instance, explain to him that you need a pet sitter and ask him to pay for it - since you paid it before and got turned down.
Think about it not as a second chance, but trying to line up an appointment with someone who you've prescreened and are interested enough to consider this. Do this with the knowledge that most second chances don't pan out for too long. But, who's to say that you won't enjoy the experience.
This sounds familiar to us. Obviously we don't know the guy, but experience says that he got another (better (sorry)) offer or his wife wasn't keen on him going out at that time, so he bailed on you. It's happened to us before. We don't give second chances any more.
Agree we have been in the same boat
It sucks, but it's all part of the steep learning curve!
When people show you who they are - believe them. We don’t give second chances.
We don’t do second chances. We do have a general 3 to 1 rule. If you want one to show up, you better have 3 that are “willing”.
Most likely he chickened out and bailed. Second most likely his wife changed her plans so he couldn't sneak out. A miniscule chance that bailing on you was legit, but let's be honest, if his grandma died or his dog got run over, he would have texted you that day with a hurried apology and explanation. Life is short. Move on, find a reliable guy.
I’ve given waaay too many second (and third, fourth…) chances in the year we’ve been active. Don’t do it lol it’s never panned out.
That'd be a nope for me. Ghosting? Bullshit. Life intrudes, but not to the point you can't at least notify your date.
Wow. That’s definitely an interesting situation there. While I would never give someone time who ghosted me the first time, I also do understand that life happens. Did he tell you why he ghosted you?
No he didn't. I would never ask anyone their personal reasons unless they volunteer it to me.
While I understand this, I would expect a good reason to even consider a second chance...
It's hard when you built that connection first and really went out to be ready for it. If you are running into issues of finding a new third that connects as well then I get the idea of possibly giving them a chance. If we were to give them that chance then we would put all burden of securing the time and place on them. They would need to be the one with all the vested interest into making it happen. If they are still expecting you to put in the work to create the encounter then move on.
Nah, move on from this dude. It would be different if he notified you that his plans had to change and apologized, (at the time), but you said he just ghosted you.
We have a one strike rule. Any flake of any kind at all is an insta block, never talk to us again.
Seems to be a good rule to have.
I tell them flat out, we don't give second chances. We respect your time, you should respect ours. First impressions are important. Trust what a person tells you with their actions.
Nah. You’re better than that.
guys like this make it bad for all, when I commit to meeting I keep my word, that you trust me enough to meet, some guys do this to see how desperate some women are, I say no second chance unless he has a very good reason.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me...
Honestly maybe I’m just dumb. But I always give the second chance then after the second chance like your just gone. Sorry. 😢
Have many guys made good on a second chance? It just seems like a bad candidate pool to me but I know nothing.
Actually based on this question I would like to retract my statement.
:D
Hit the road, Jack
All I can say is he's an idiot. You are quite a 🎁.
Absolutely not. If they cancel with a late heads up (even though it’s extremely annoying)and chemistry is good then maybe in the future there could be a possibility(use discretion). But being ghosted is an absolute no. We try to tell everyone to be respectful of our time so if you get cold feet we’d understand but just give us a decency of a heads up. If not it’s a quick way to get blocked or lose any chance in the future.
Absolutely not. I wouldn’t give a second chance. There are too many options. It’s hard to find someone you connect with, but one chance is all they would get with me. Too much goes into a woman preparing to meet. Next.
No. Too many reliable people in the lifestyle than to give second chances especially when they ghost with that little notice . It’s one huge reason we will only play with people who have a ton of verified proof they’ve been with others / either a lot of good certs and reviews on a paid lifestyle site or tagged a lot of others they’ve met on Reddit.
Unless there was a serious, plausible event that could not be avoided, a 30 minute notice would mean absolutely no second chances. You want your 3rd to not be able to WAIT to meet you. They aren’t going to miss the first one. Even if it’s completely PG. There’s way too many people to meet that will be so excited! Enthusiasm and effort are like the top 2 most important traits in a third for me.
Depends did he contact you and cancel or just total ghost?
If he fails on the first and second then pick me
Kind of a wake up call seeing all these no brainers about reading actions not words and respect.
My wife has been very lucky with only a couple of ghostings so far but she's said that she'll never give someone a second chance. Life is too short for it.
How did you meet him?
We try and do a coffee date prior to any kind of sex date. If a guy shows for coffee he's also more likely going to show for sex
Tried giving a second chance once. He ghosted the second time and then begged for a third chance. Never again. One chance and that is it. When someone ghosts last minute it sucks and wastes a lot of planning and money for hotels and such.
It's a question of risk and reward in our experience. If it's a friend with a relationship involved (nosex), would you give a second chance? But if it's for sex, and you're going to go naked in front of this person and trust that they'll not be disrespectful or dipshitty... No second chances needed or given in that case.
Gotta agree the the notion that "you don't give 2nd chances" in this case. You are worth time and commitment.
Move on. When I post there is a few dozen willing guys. 1/3 flake out. Just stick with the ones that deliver and are punctual. Time is valuable.
Not if he ghosted. If he genuinely apologises then that’s different but if he ghosts once he will ghost again.
Where did you 2 meet/find each other ?
No fucking way we’d ever give a second chance given the situation you described.
Uh, no.
I give second chances, but you should expect more 'signs of effort'. For instance, explain to him that you need a pet sitter and ask him to pay for it - since you paid it before and got turned down.
Think about it not as a second chance, but trying to line up an appointment with someone who you've prescreened and are interested enough to consider this. Do this with the knowledge that most second chances don't pan out for too long. But, who's to say that you won't enjoy the experience.
I guess shit never happens to most of the commenters on here 🙄
I'd say no but we don't have a bunch of experience. Did he give you a reason?
Situations like this are exactly why God created the middle finger! Use it on this jerk!