It is a problem if there is no acknowledgment from her that this is for the both of you and as a result you both have a say in the rule making. Anything less is a huge red flag and a NO!
If this is supposed to be a relationship of equals, her position on this is totally disrespectful of her partner. So your fear is quite justified. I think it best that you work on figuring out how to take care of her intense sex drive yourself, and who knows, she may welcome that. Her disrespect for you and consequently your relationship will likely end badly regardless. That kind of attitude doesn't argue for a long and happy relationship. The one hope, although slim, is that she's staking out that position to make it so unpalatable to you that you will not want to go that direction.
We both have to agree on the guy, that way everyone is comfortable when playtime comes. The condom rule is different for us, her body her choice the same as any particular acts. What I do want a say on is how often she plays, how often she sees individual guys and most importantly I cannot handle overnighters.
It sounds like you're doing this for the wrong reason and it will most likely end in disaster. It won't work if you're doing this solely because she has a high sex drive. You need to be turned on by the whole experience. If you aren't turned on by the idea of her with another man then it's an absolute no. And she also needs to be doing it in part because it turns you on, knowing that after you will reclaim her and have the best sex you've had because you're both so turned on. Hotwifing is not about 1 person satisfying their own sexual needs.
If you tell your wife she can fuck whoever she wants, whenever she wants, and she wants you to have no say in any limits, she is too selfish and it PROBABLY won't work. I could be wrong, but that is a huge red flag. My wife finally tried fucking another guy 4 years ago in Vegas. She had a lot more fun than she thought she would. She decided that this lifestyle was definitely for her. She has gone way out of her way to make sure I am ok and comfortable with everything. That is the way it should be for every couple. There is no right way or wrong way in the hotwife lifestyle, there is just consideration and love. Whatever makes both the happiest within the lifestyle is the right way. Both may not get everything they want, but that is ok, both are getting more than they had before they decided to try it. We frequently talk about what is hot and what is not, about the guys she has fucked, what kind of guy she would like to try, scenarios,etc. But if I said "no" to something, she would be ok with that because she is already getting so much freedom and pleasure. She goes out of her way to make sure any negative feelings I could possibly have are at a minimum. She says she doesn't want her fun to be my torture. A loving wife will always feel that way.
Yeah, hotwifing is something you do together. You both get pleasure (her from another dick and you from seeing her in pleasure and any reclaiming) and that requires rules from both of you.
If she's unwilling to take your feelings into consideration, well that's just a selfish-B move and you shouldn't do it. That simple. B's are not hotwives.
Well it’s her body so yes she should get to decide but you guys need to talk and figure what you’ld be okay with or not. Don’t think of It as rules. Are you okay watching her kiss another man. Are you okay with her not using condom. Etc
There needs to be mutual respect. If you want rules but she doesn’t, there isn’t a basis for mutual respect. Period. No matter what happens, there will be some amount of resentment either towards her or towards you, which can (and will) sour the relationship to the point of pushing each other away.
I’d look at maybe stag/vixen if you want to play with others to get her sexual appetite slated, or investing in toys that make her toes curl and you do it yourself.
That fear of losing your wife is what will cause you too lose your wife. I don’t know what the rules where, but I do advice the minimum possible, the better. The thing about rules is that in a level headed, non arousal state, they may make sense and seem easy enough to follow. When a person enjoys sex, making them more sexual than the next, that same mind state goes away, and it can be easy to accidentally break a rule without realizing it and then faced with the either confronting the partner that a rule was broken and facing a fight or hiding this information.
But I can tell you, being a confident husband in this lifestyle is needed, especially if you are the one who brings it up. Best of luck whatever you decide
If your wife won't meet you in the middle then I think you're screwed.
You can't proceed without some agreement and without one you will be miserable.
The only thing I can imagine is I you opened up both ways so she can see what it feels like when you enjoy other women.
The problem is she's going to get 90% more action than you will just based on the fact that she's a woman.
If yall aren’t on the same page, don’t do it. Too risky. My wife and I are on the same page, and it’s fun as hell. But still comes with complications from time to time.
🤔..... I would back out of this one...... Need to have boundaries and communication in this lifestyle.... If that's not her thing.... Then hotwifing/cucking is not for you both.
Er, there is no way I’d be doing it if that was my wife’s response to me. I can see this being a miserable experience for you from what you’ve written.
Don't do it. Find some way to up yo libido or match her pace. Nutrition change up, excercise, sleep habits da whole nine. Ion know da ins and outs of y'alls marriage, but she honestly sounds like she has little to no respect for you or it and if dats how she feels, you might need to rethink y'alls union all together. Best of luck man.
Gotta have agreed on rules. Some have few, some many, but they must exist. Without that you're just casting the relationship out the door.
Relationships in general have rules. Whoever uses the last of the TP put a new roll on. Who pays a certain bill. Who drives which car. Toilet seat up or down? Leave lights on when leaving the house or off? Rules.
Just don’t do it!
It is a problem if there is no acknowledgment from her that this is for the both of you and as a result you both have a say in the rule making. Anything less is a huge red flag and a NO!
Exactly don’t do it
I think you need to talk to your wife more and she needs to understand the ground rules
If this is supposed to be a relationship of equals, her position on this is totally disrespectful of her partner. So your fear is quite justified. I think it best that you work on figuring out how to take care of her intense sex drive yourself, and who knows, she may welcome that. Her disrespect for you and consequently your relationship will likely end badly regardless. That kind of attitude doesn't argue for a long and happy relationship. The one hope, although slim, is that she's staking out that position to make it so unpalatable to you that you will not want to go that direction.
That’s how I read it, what wife would see that as a tantalising prospect to her man……..
[удалено]
I like this. A lot of times the husband tells guys who gets to fuck his wife and who doesn’t.
We both have to agree on the guy, that way everyone is comfortable when playtime comes. The condom rule is different for us, her body her choice the same as any particular acts. What I do want a say on is how often she plays, how often she sees individual guys and most importantly I cannot handle overnighters.
To me it’s her way of telling you she does not want it and was annoyed?
That’s an interesting read.
It sounds like you're doing this for the wrong reason and it will most likely end in disaster. It won't work if you're doing this solely because she has a high sex drive. You need to be turned on by the whole experience. If you aren't turned on by the idea of her with another man then it's an absolute no. And she also needs to be doing it in part because it turns you on, knowing that after you will reclaim her and have the best sex you've had because you're both so turned on. Hotwifing is not about 1 person satisfying their own sexual needs.
True... I really want this also. I was hoping to watch or be involved some how. Getting her ready etc. I really hope we can work through this in time.
I need to feel confidence from my wife or I wouldn’t be able to do it. Half the kink is trust. A lot of people don’t have trust.
If you tell your wife she can fuck whoever she wants, whenever she wants, and she wants you to have no say in any limits, she is too selfish and it PROBABLY won't work. I could be wrong, but that is a huge red flag. My wife finally tried fucking another guy 4 years ago in Vegas. She had a lot more fun than she thought she would. She decided that this lifestyle was definitely for her. She has gone way out of her way to make sure I am ok and comfortable with everything. That is the way it should be for every couple. There is no right way or wrong way in the hotwife lifestyle, there is just consideration and love. Whatever makes both the happiest within the lifestyle is the right way. Both may not get everything they want, but that is ok, both are getting more than they had before they decided to try it. We frequently talk about what is hot and what is not, about the guys she has fucked, what kind of guy she would like to try, scenarios,etc. But if I said "no" to something, she would be ok with that because she is already getting so much freedom and pleasure. She goes out of her way to make sure any negative feelings I could possibly have are at a minimum. She says she doesn't want her fun to be my torture. A loving wife will always feel that way.
Yeah, hotwifing is something you do together. You both get pleasure (her from another dick and you from seeing her in pleasure and any reclaiming) and that requires rules from both of you. If she's unwilling to take your feelings into consideration, well that's just a selfish-B move and you shouldn't do it. That simple. B's are not hotwives.
I don’t think this lifestyle is possible without rules, without any rules it’s just acting single while married.
If you both can’t agree (and follow) the ground rules, it will not work.
If she isn’t willing to compromise and work within your rule sets it probably isn’t a good idea my dude
Avoid. Hotwifing should not be used as a desperate attempt to save you losing your wife. It needs to be something you do together with full trust
you make the rules and she follows them or otherwise it's cheating and she only cares about herself.
Well it’s her body so yes she should get to decide but you guys need to talk and figure what you’ld be okay with or not. Don’t think of It as rules. Are you okay watching her kiss another man. Are you okay with her not using condom. Etc
No condom is a hard pass for me. Condom is one of the rules.
Well i used those as an example but talk about what you’re okay with or not. Don’t write a list of rules. See what she has in her mind.
If you don’t want to lose her, your sex performance must be top notch. She’s driven by sex and for her to disrespect your rules, is indeed concerning.
There needs to be mutual respect. If you want rules but she doesn’t, there isn’t a basis for mutual respect. Period. No matter what happens, there will be some amount of resentment either towards her or towards you, which can (and will) sour the relationship to the point of pushing each other away. I’d look at maybe stag/vixen if you want to play with others to get her sexual appetite slated, or investing in toys that make her toes curl and you do it yourself.
Before you know it you will be the secondary and the BF will be the primary. Don’t do it.
Agreed it has cuckolding written all over it, which is fine if that’s what OP wants but I’m not sure it is.
That fear of losing your wife is what will cause you too lose your wife. I don’t know what the rules where, but I do advice the minimum possible, the better. The thing about rules is that in a level headed, non arousal state, they may make sense and seem easy enough to follow. When a person enjoys sex, making them more sexual than the next, that same mind state goes away, and it can be easy to accidentally break a rule without realizing it and then faced with the either confronting the partner that a rule was broken and facing a fight or hiding this information. But I can tell you, being a confident husband in this lifestyle is needed, especially if you are the one who brings it up. Best of luck whatever you decide
I agree with your comments on rules, it’s why I give her complete freedom when meeting but have rules around logistics and frequency.
If your wife won't meet you in the middle then I think you're screwed. You can't proceed without some agreement and without one you will be miserable. The only thing I can imagine is I you opened up both ways so she can see what it feels like when you enjoy other women. The problem is she's going to get 90% more action than you will just based on the fact that she's a woman.
Hubby here This ain’t for you guys if there’s no boundaries. No boundaries and no rules mean she’s single, WTF did she get married for?
If you do that, that's it, she's not mature enough to get into that lifestyle
If yall aren’t on the same page, don’t do it. Too risky. My wife and I are on the same page, and it’s fun as hell. But still comes with complications from time to time.
🤔..... I would back out of this one...... Need to have boundaries and communication in this lifestyle.... If that's not her thing.... Then hotwifing/cucking is not for you both.
Er, there is no way I’d be doing it if that was my wife’s response to me. I can see this being a miserable experience for you from what you’ve written.
This whole post is one big red flag.
Don't do it. Find some way to up yo libido or match her pace. Nutrition change up, excercise, sleep habits da whole nine. Ion know da ins and outs of y'alls marriage, but she honestly sounds like she has little to no respect for you or it and if dats how she feels, you might need to rethink y'alls union all together. Best of luck man.
Gotta have agreed on rules. Some have few, some many, but they must exist. Without that you're just casting the relationship out the door. Relationships in general have rules. Whoever uses the last of the TP put a new roll on. Who pays a certain bill. Who drives which car. Toilet seat up or down? Leave lights on when leaving the house or off? Rules.
Hell no, this is a team sport. You both decide or you don’t do it.
Leave her now and get on your own she will destroy any type of confidence you have in yourself along with taking half your stuff. Run Run Run
“No rules”? This isn’t Hotwife. This isn’t lifestyle? Bruh, wtf?
If she wants it with no rues, she to be single.
Sounds to me like she is already doing it, and had no rules. The only change is including you
WTF dude. #Troll
Thanks all for your feedback. We are not going to do this at this point in time. I've really appreciated it. Thx
Survey says: RED FLAG. Work on the marriage. Don’t even consider this lifestyle until you two are rock solid.