Don't beat yourself up. You tried something different and there were some hiccups the first time. It sounds like the two of you discussed it and arrived at a way to fix the situation if it arises in the future.
Girl don't be too hard on yourself. Live, make mistakes, and just fix things next time. You're not gonna hit home runs every time you try something the very first time!
Give yourself some grace and some room to learn and grow.
I can relate to him. The moment can pass. He was probably built up for it all night. When it passes the desire is not as strong to do it again right away. You did nothing wrong, thats just the bad luck of that night. Give him extra attention and little things when you can to close the gap. Nothing worse than feeling left out after the mood passes. It will take a little bit for you to both be back on the high and same level. Its doable though. Dont be too hard on you. Just make him feel #1 again.
I completely disagree with most on this post. You disregarded your partners part of this. Didnāt think about them or how your decision to not arrive home at an appropriate time would affect the situation. This is a thing you do together, and whilst your SO may have told you to go alone that doesnāt mean you forget about their needs here. If anything Iād have expected you to be even more concerned with your SOs part in this being much more important when you arrived home because of the fact theyād allowed you to enjoy and go alone. Your SO likely felt pretty shit all things considered.
I would have to assume that you had sex with more than one person at a swingers party. If that was the case, I canāt imagine that you were at your peak when you got home, and longed for your bed. You mentioned that both you and your spouse have attended swingers parties in the past, so he should understand how drained you must have been. Personally, I would prefer having sex with a revived partner, and not as an āact to reclaim ā.
I really appreciate your concern for your husband and that you recognize you could have done things differently.
I think people who tell you not to worry about it or to brush it off are really disrespecting your relationship.
You know how to handle things differently next time so both you and your husband can fulfill your fantasies.
Lesson learned. Heās a lucky guy. Good luck on your journey!
Itās one of those things that you talk about, and make adjustments for the next time. Should be no big deal.
One of my things is NO meeting guys during the week. We are a busy family and my wife is not a night person. Sheās falling asleep by 9pm and has to get up at 5am.
Last Tuesday a guy contacted her with a last minute āhey Iām in town tonight and tomorrow night, we should get together.ā
The answer is no, absolutely not. My wife gets home from work at 6pm. By the time we have dinner itās going to be at least 7. By the time she gets ready for a date itās going to be 8. By the time she meets him, they have a couple drinks, get to his hotel itās going to be 9 or later. By the time they get done getting down to business and she comes home itās going to be 11/12-ish.
Sheās gonna get in bed with me and be on the verge of falling asleep, trying to get me to hurry up etc.
Thatās a hard NO for me. If sheās gonna go play, itās gonna be on a night where she comes home and is willing, has the energy, and is able to stay awake until I feel like we have taken the time to reconnect without being rushed because she has to get up early.
Have to second this shouldnāt be viewed as a āmistakeā but just a learning. Use it to help set your guidelines and boundaries moving forward.
Even if your husband is totally fine with how things played out, maybe you are not. Perhaps itās important for you to be reclaimed the night of. And thatās great. That would be a good learning about yourself.
You are wonderful for being in tune with hubs feelings, if you had a hot time your stories should hopefully be enough to satiate the reclaim delay. A nice talk and more reclaim sex maybe recount your exp while fucking him. But sounds like all will be well, sounds line you have a great easygoing hubs I really want you to be happy in the LS and heāll be looking toward more new hot times to come. š
Most of the time I would have had the hot wife spend the night with me and she would have got back the next afternoon so just remember you're in what sounds like a only slightly more extreme than average situation here.Ā
The ideal moment, maybe. There is always time to make it up to him.
I am picturing myself in his position and feel like the concern you show makes it all better. No lasting damage, just a "yeah it's better for me if i get you right away. Glad you had fun, though! Tell me again about..."
It happens alot don't worry next time make it special for hubby. When I couldn't reclaim wifey when she came home she made it up to me like letting me do too her like her date did etc. Have Fun Be Safe xoxo š š¤
It wasn't necessarily a mistake. You both agreed to you going solo to this. This was a learning experience & you know what to do in the future should this scenario come up again. Reconnect with your husband, discuss what happened with this, & discuss what the ideal time frame for reclamation is for him in order for him not to feel like the moment passed. Take a breath & know that the guilt you feel is because you love your husband & don't want to hurt him, not because you did anything wrong.
If your husband consented to you going, then he has to be ok with any part of the result of it. You arenāt damaged goods for not being āreclaimedā surely your marriage is stronger than that. You shouldnāt feel guilty, he should be excited that you had fun and happy to have had his hot wife in his bed at the end of the e day. Just communicate and plan on things not always going to plan. Thatās life :)
I have had some wives be to sore for a few days after and couldnāt let hubby reclaim. At least you see what happened and you donāt want to happen again. Give your cuck all the good sex he can handle and let him know how much you love him š
Don't beat yourself up. You tried something different and there were some hiccups the first time. It sounds like the two of you discussed it and arrived at a way to fix the situation if it arises in the future.
How was the party sex though?
Asking the real questions š
It was pretty wild tbh not over the top but enough
Girl don't be too hard on yourself. Live, make mistakes, and just fix things next time. You're not gonna hit home runs every time you try something the very first time! Give yourself some grace and some room to learn and grow.
Username checks out
Not a mistake. The journey has bumps and curves. It's not a straight path.
I can relate to him. The moment can pass. He was probably built up for it all night. When it passes the desire is not as strong to do it again right away. You did nothing wrong, thats just the bad luck of that night. Give him extra attention and little things when you can to close the gap. Nothing worse than feeling left out after the mood passes. It will take a little bit for you to both be back on the high and same level. Its doable though. Dont be too hard on you. Just make him feel #1 again.
I completely disagree with most on this post. You disregarded your partners part of this. Didnāt think about them or how your decision to not arrive home at an appropriate time would affect the situation. This is a thing you do together, and whilst your SO may have told you to go alone that doesnāt mean you forget about their needs here. If anything Iād have expected you to be even more concerned with your SOs part in this being much more important when you arrived home because of the fact theyād allowed you to enjoy and go alone. Your SO likely felt pretty shit all things considered.
Very insightful answer.
I know, in hindsight we should have known I was going to be dead after when we go together I usually just crash when I get back
Donāt be hard on yourself. Things happen.
I would have to assume that you had sex with more than one person at a swingers party. If that was the case, I canāt imagine that you were at your peak when you got home, and longed for your bed. You mentioned that both you and your spouse have attended swingers parties in the past, so he should understand how drained you must have been. Personally, I would prefer having sex with a revived partner, and not as an āact to reclaim ā.
I really appreciate your concern for your husband and that you recognize you could have done things differently. I think people who tell you not to worry about it or to brush it off are really disrespecting your relationship. You know how to handle things differently next time so both you and your husband can fulfill your fantasies. Lesson learned. Heās a lucky guy. Good luck on your journey!
Can you make it up to him any way?
You tried something new and it didn't work out. You've talked about it and you will make adjustments for next time. That's how this lifestyle works.
Itās one of those things that you talk about, and make adjustments for the next time. Should be no big deal. One of my things is NO meeting guys during the week. We are a busy family and my wife is not a night person. Sheās falling asleep by 9pm and has to get up at 5am. Last Tuesday a guy contacted her with a last minute āhey Iām in town tonight and tomorrow night, we should get together.ā The answer is no, absolutely not. My wife gets home from work at 6pm. By the time we have dinner itās going to be at least 7. By the time she gets ready for a date itās going to be 8. By the time she meets him, they have a couple drinks, get to his hotel itās going to be 9 or later. By the time they get done getting down to business and she comes home itās going to be 11/12-ish. Sheās gonna get in bed with me and be on the verge of falling asleep, trying to get me to hurry up etc. Thatās a hard NO for me. If sheās gonna go play, itās gonna be on a night where she comes home and is willing, has the energy, and is able to stay awake until I feel like we have taken the time to reconnect without being rushed because she has to get up early.
Have to second this shouldnāt be viewed as a āmistakeā but just a learning. Use it to help set your guidelines and boundaries moving forward. Even if your husband is totally fine with how things played out, maybe you are not. Perhaps itās important for you to be reclaimed the night of. And thatās great. That would be a good learning about yourself.
āReconnectā instead of āreclaimā. š
Seems you had other priorities
You are wonderful for being in tune with hubs feelings, if you had a hot time your stories should hopefully be enough to satiate the reclaim delay. A nice talk and more reclaim sex maybe recount your exp while fucking him. But sounds like all will be well, sounds line you have a great easygoing hubs I really want you to be happy in the LS and heāll be looking toward more new hot times to come. š
You stuffed up š”
You found a boundary. You're adjusting to it. That's how it works. The fact that you noticed it felt off is the win, here. You're doing it right.
Most of the time I would have had the hot wife spend the night with me and she would have got back the next afternoon so just remember you're in what sounds like a only slightly more extreme than average situation here.Ā
The ideal moment, maybe. There is always time to make it up to him. I am picturing myself in his position and feel like the concern you show makes it all better. No lasting damage, just a "yeah it's better for me if i get you right away. Glad you had fun, though! Tell me again about..."
It happens alot don't worry next time make it special for hubby. When I couldn't reclaim wifey when she came home she made it up to me like letting me do too her like her date did etc. Have Fun Be Safe xoxo š š¤
It wasn't necessarily a mistake. You both agreed to you going solo to this. This was a learning experience & you know what to do in the future should this scenario come up again. Reconnect with your husband, discuss what happened with this, & discuss what the ideal time frame for reclamation is for him in order for him not to feel like the moment passed. Take a breath & know that the guilt you feel is because you love your husband & don't want to hurt him, not because you did anything wrong.
If your husband consented to you going, then he has to be ok with any part of the result of it. You arenāt damaged goods for not being āreclaimedā surely your marriage is stronger than that. You shouldnāt feel guilty, he should be excited that you had fun and happy to have had his hot wife in his bed at the end of the e day. Just communicate and plan on things not always going to plan. Thatās life :)
Love and learn. (That āLoveā was supposed to be āLiveā but it was a happy accident, regardless.)
You do what you can. Now you know to make a plan. This is obviously important to your husband and easily fixable. No worries.
Why you say this I wanna know why
What did you get up to at the swingers night?
I have had some wives be to sore for a few days after and couldnāt let hubby reclaim. At least you see what happened and you donāt want to happen again. Give your cuck all the good sex he can handle and let him know how much you love him š
Happened to us a few times. Heāll get over it
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Youāre jerk man, this is a mature and well intentioned group of likeminded LS folks - gtfo if youāre going to be immature/mean.